Of Hands and Horror!
It had been about three months since you married Lyra, she was after all the only pony to instantly accept you for being alien besides Pinky Pie. Her obsession with your hands though was always a bit… Creepy but she was sweet as could be and you quickly fell in love, every day you would give her belly rubs and scratch her behind her ears and her leg would start thumping, it was adorable in a weird sort of way. This last month though she was becoming more and more obsessed with your hands, constantly muttering about “hands” and getting upset if you stopped scratching her; other times she would just sit in your lap and hold your hands… And stare at them for hours… Then at night she started to mutter about “hands” and “back scratchers” till it was just plain creepy.
Last week however it got worse, you found a book on “taxidermy for dummies” on the coffee table, you dismissed it but then that Friday she brought “supplies” home and stashed them in the basement. You just had to look… The bag was filled with all kinds of taxidermy tools and equipment, you had scanned that book after all and now a part of you wished you hadn’t. On Saturday during dinner she kept stabbing her carrots and muttering incoherently and would glance at you once in a while. You asked her if she was alright to which she immediately smiled and said she had a rough day, you were now getting more than just concerned. That night you woke up with her holding your hands, stroking them with her hooves and muttering. The next day as you walked around Ponyville you could not shake the feeling someone was watching you but no matter how many times you would suddenly turn around… No one was there. She did not come home that night, you ate dinner alone and that feeling of being watched never went away, it just got worse. Taking a quick shower you decided to go to bed early and locked all the doors and shut the windows. You even checked under the bed.
You woke with a start, it was ten at night and someone was pounding on your front door. You jumped out of bed thinking that maybe Lyra had forgotten her keys, sure enough as you entered the living room her keys were still on the hanger by the door. As you reached for the doorknob there was a loud cracking sound as something struck the door, jumping back you paused but this time the door cracked and was broken in; standing there was Lyra. Lyra had a pair of shears floating in her magic and she looked unhinged, kind of like Twilight that one day she forgot to write a report for Celestia. This was not the disturbing part however, it was the muttering… Hands… That’s all she kept muttering over and over as she walked into the house while staring at you with those crazy eyes. You broke. You ran like hell and shut yourself in the bedroom and locked the door and she impacted against it not a moment later. You heard the first thump and shoved a chair against the door and headed for the window. As the door was being broken down you hauled yourself out the window and hit the ground running, behind you the door gave way and you heard Lyra scream something at you but you were too busy running like hell.
Spending who knows how long you kept running through town, every door was locked, windows shut and barred. The only option was to hide in Daisies shed; you hid there cowering in a corner waiting, then came the sound of hooves. Lyra was at the door and that’s when you heard the chopping sound. You almost died of fright when you saw the axe cut through the door and punch a hole big enough for her to stick her head in. What she did next made your blood run cold, she stuck her head through a bit and muttered: “Hannnddsss!!!” while looking at you with a “here’s Johnny” look. You screamed like a little girl. No you made little girls cringe at how girly you screamed and threw yourself through the little window at the back of the shed, you were sure Daisy would understand assuming you lived long enough to beg forgiveness.
Twilight! That’s right! Twilight could help! You ran to Twilights castle and started beating on the door and screaming in hysterics. Twilight answered the door and you babbled like an idiot for a minute till she saw Lyra behind you, Twilight screamed, shut the door and locked it. “Hannndsss” was all Lyra said; you bolted like a pack of hell-hounds were on your heels. As your tore hell through the streets of Ponyville you wondered where else you could seek shelter, then there it was… Sweet salvation in pink: Pinkie Pie was walking down the street, maybe she just finished with a late night party. Screaming her name you ran to her and started to explain, she nodded a few times and told you follow her. You ran to a tree and she reached into a small hole and pulled out a chainsaw. Pinkie said she stashed them in case of zombies or in case of insanity, she gave it to you and said that the safest place she knew of was Fluttershy’s shed, she told you to get there and it would all be OK, she had “cupcakes” or something to take care of first.
With your new chainsaw you ran were like a bat out of hell going through the streets towards Fluttershy’s cottage, hell you never even knew she had a shed. That’s when you heard that blood curdling scream somewhere behind you: “HAANNDSS!!!” You almost pissed yourself, but to your credit you did not. If you were going to die in cowardice you would not do it in a puddle of your own piss. That’s when you remembered… You had a CHAINSAW now! You stopped, turned and watched Lyra trotting after you, quickly getting ready you prepped the chainsaw… Grabbed the pull line (It was an old chainsaw) and yanked… The chainsaw puttered and went out, the line snapped and the look on your face was worth a million bits. Lyra just smiled. Dropping it you grew wings from your feet and flew like a bat out of hell towards Fluttershy’s, you saw the shed in the moonlight and made a b-line for it. You were going so fast you slammed into the door and just about knocked yourself out cold, clambering back to your feet you rushed inside and shut the door and barred it.
Suddenly the light came on and you heard “SURPRISE!!!” but all that pent up stress from the running and terror the words never registered. Instead your heart stopped and you dropped dead from fright on the spot. Standing in the room was a few ponies including Pinkie, Fluttershy, Twilight, Rainbow, Octavia, Vinyl, Applejack, etc. They all stared in shock as Twilight pronounced you dead, meanwhile they had let Lyra in and at that point Pinkie piped up and remarked how she never had anyone die of happiness from a surprise birthday party before. The other ponies giggled and awed that you had died from happiness and made their way out, Twilight was about to call for a herse but Fluttershy stopped her, said she would take care of it; muttered something about “waste not, want not” and was going to see if “Harry” was awake. After all the ponies had left Lyra walked up to your still corpse and smiled at you before taking out her axe and muttering… “Hands.”
The End.
Author's Note
Glad I got that out of my system, just could not resist after stupid things popped into my head.
