Enough Pi

by Puppo530

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Bon-Bon, Random, Lyra, Applejack, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1451

A pie-eating contest on Pi Day goes horribly wrong.

Lyra Heartstrings is a glorious mathematician, so it is no surprise when she decides to celebrate Pi Day with a pie-eating contest. As a critic of fancy-shmancy mathematics, Applejack bets Lyra that she can win the contest. Coincidentally, the contest also takes place on a day that Ponyville is to be a recipient of Princess Celestia, and things go downhill from there.

Part of the second SALT contest.

Published 2012-06-10 12:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-04-01 22:27:29 UTC

3.1415926535897932384626433832795028841...

"Enough Pi"

Lyra woke up bright and early on Pi Day. Today was not only the day she was going to be holding a pie-eating contest at Sugarcube Corner, today was also the day Ponyville would be expecting a visit from Princess Celestia. She bolted down the stairs of her small cottage to Bon Bon's room. Her roommate was sound asleep in her bed.

"Wake up, Bon Bon!" Lyra yelped and hopped on Bon Bon's bed. "It's Pi Day and Princess Celestia is coming! We have to get ready for both!" She bounded several times on the sleeping mare.

"Lyra, how many times do I have to tell you?" Bon Bon mumbled as she slowly woke up. "Jumping on other ponies is not nice!"

"I know! But I'm just so excited!" The green unicorn jumped off the bed and into the doorway of the room. "We have to get going! The contest starts in two hours and the princess gets here in three!"

"All right, all right. I'm awake, see?" Bon Bon slowly pulled the blanket off her and put two hooves on the wooden floor.

"Come on, Bon Bon! We have to go!" Lyra galloped away from the house. She raced down the cobblestone streets to a park, where she and Bon Bon would do some gardening.

Bon Bon was left rubbing her eyes. "Out of all of the ponies in Equestria, why did I get her for a roommate?"

Applejack found Bon Bon watering some plants. She trotted over to her to give her a warm hello.

"Howdy, Bon Bon!" she greeted. Bon Bon put down the watering can so she could talk back.

"Oh, hi Applejack. How are you today?"

"Ah'm just fine! How're them flowa's comin'?"

"They're fine. Twilight just came by and praised me for them, and since she's stressed out about this visit, I guess that means they're good."

Lyra bounded over to the two ponies talking. She had just finished her job for the princess' visit, so she was going to ask Bon Bon if she was done too.

"Bon Bon, you done?" the unicorn asked.

"Just a minute, Lyra. I was just saying hi to Applejack here." Bon Bon nodded her head to the pony beside her.

"Howdy Lyra! How you doin'?" Applejack greeted her with a warm shaking of the hoof.

"Hi, Applejack! I'm doing great!" Lyra jumped up with joy. "Today is Pi day! It's also the day Princess Celestia comes!"

"Pie day?" Applejack asked in confusion. "What type of pie?"

"Oh, no, not the food. The irrational number that is the ratio between the circumference and the diameter of a circle."

Applejack stared at Lyra in complete and utter confusion. She was in such a disarray she couldn't even ask what the unicorn meant. Eventually Applejack understood that Lyra was talking about mathematics, a subject she did not favor.

"Oh you fancy math ponies," Applejack said, "y'all are crazy."

"You're calling me crazy?" Lyra advanced threateningly.

"Ah sure am. Y'all just sit around, wastin' away the time on fancy shmancy numba's."

"And what should we be doing?" Lyra and Applejack walked closer to the other. The tension was mounting, and Bon Bon was completely unaware of this. She was still busy watering the flowers.

"Y'all should be using your brawn to help out other ponies once in a while! Except, you ain't got none!"

"Are you saying mathematicians and scientists can't beat you in a physical competition?"

"Ah sure am!"

Bon Bon finished her watering and looked up at the two arguing ponies. She galloped up to them and tried to reason with them.

"Applejack, Lyra, stop fighting, please."

"ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU COULD BEAT ME IN SOMETHING LIKE A PIE-EATING COMPETITION?"

"BRING IT ON!"

"Please! Please stop!"

"SUGARCUBE CORNER! ONE HOUR!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

Applejack stormed away. She headed back towards her farm, Sweet Apple Acres. Lyra stood there next to Bon Bon.

"You can't win a pie-eating competition against Applejack!" Bon Bon yelled, "She once ate two barrels of apples! She only passed out for a little bit!"

"I can do this, Bon Bon, " Lyra said, "trust me."

A small crowd had gathered at Sugarcube Corner. The contest used to have many different mares and stallions, but now everypony had wanted to watch Lyra and Applejack square off. Lyra stood up from her chair. She announced to the crowd the rules of the competition.

"The pony that eats 31.4 pieces of pie in the next 31.4 minutes first wins! The competition starts at the sound of my strumming." Lyra looked around at the crowd, and then she stared at her only competitor. Applejack's nostrils were flared, ready to beat the fancy shmancy math-pony. Lyra placed her hoof on the highest string, and then quickly let it fall over the others, releasing a harmony of notes into the air. She then leapt from her spot on the podium, while dropping her lyre, and landed in her chair to begin eating the 31.4 pieces of pie that had been provided by the Cakes.

The flavors in her mouth all became one as Lyra picked through each delicious piece of pie that was placed before her. Apple, Cherry, Blueberry, Boysenberry, Pumpkin, the flavors never ended. Each new piece brought a whole new flavor and a whole new experience for her. Applejack and her were neck and neck. Each reached the 15 piece mark at the same time. Applejack even started to get ahead of Lyra.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" Applejack looked puzzlingly at Lyra, the mare who asked her.

"I ain't never had 'nough." Applejack replied in a stereotypical accent.

But then, out of nowhere, Fluttershy came up to the farm pony and asked her for a whole lot of apples. Even though she wasn't Rainbow Dash, she was still loyal to her friends, and she promised she'd be back soon to beat Lyra. Lyra laughed at her. There was no way she could still win. The amount of pie kept climbing. 20 pieces. 25 pieces. Lyra's stomach started to burst. She kept eating, though. Lyra reached 30 pieces mere seconds before the 30-minute mark. She ate the fourth of a piece and then prepared herself for the last piece of apple pie.

It sat there, almost glowing on the plate. The apple crust was sprinkled perfectly on the golden brown dough. The apple slices inside blended in perfectly with the delicious filling. For some reason it had a slight pinkish hue, but Lyra ignored this. She didn't have too much time to marvel at it and gaze at its delicious beauty. She picked up her fork and knife and got ready to eat it. She only had a minute left. She was a minute away from beating Applejack at her own game.

Just then, a huge crash came from the direction of Sweet Apple Acres. Nothing seemed to happen at first, but then Lyra noticed something falling from the sky. A bunch of cute, little, circular bug-like creatures fell from the blue sky. They descended on Ponyville like a blanket of snow. They quickly won the hearts of all the mares, and even some stallions. They were just too cute to pass up.

A light blue one landed on Bon Bon's extended hoof. She looked at them adorably. Lyra leaned in. She had plenty of time. She could eat that last piece as fast as Rainbow Dash could clear the sky. Bon Bon leaned into the little creature with a huge smile on her face. Suddenly, the blue animal's mouth seemed to extend to the size of Bon Bon's head. It then chomped down on Applejack's last piece of pie before she left. The blue animal then swallowed and opened its mouth again. In a single gulp, Lyra had lost the contest because some cute bug ate her last piece of pie.

Tears formed in the mare's eyes, and she began to weep. She looked off to the direction the animal went with the saddest face you could ever see. Grown stallions would cry in front of that face. That last piece of pie was the key to her being able to rub it in Applejack's face that she could eat 31.4 pieces of pie in 31.4 minutes and she couldn't. The timer clicked over to 31.4, and the contest was over. No one had won the contest. It was the saddest day in Lyra's life.

THE END

AN: Sorry to end on such a sad note, but that's life. Not everything turns out Pinkie Keen. Anyway, this was a part of the second monthly SALT contest. Be sure to check that out.