Twilight Ruins Everything

by Mester Fuzzles

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance, Sex
Length: 5712

After a spell goes horribly awry the contents of Twilight's most steamy diary start to come to life.

Twilight thought her worst fear was somepony finding and reading her most secret diary, but little did she know that much like most of the cast in this story, her expectations were about to be flipped onto their backs and thoroughly ploughed.

Published 2016-02-22 06:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-22 06:20:01 UTC

Twilight Begins to Ruin Everything

Author's Note

Welcome to my story! Please, enjoy yourself, look around, have a seat. Not that seat! That one's still rather sticky. Now, before we begin I'm sure you are asking yourself one question. And that question is "Why?". And why indeed. Is the author some sort of creepy pervert? Does he get his kicks from cartoon ponies unabatedly mashing their parts together? Simply put, No! I lost a bet. I lost a bet and had to write this so here we are. So without further ado, let us begin the adventure! Do try not to touch anything, these ponies were tested beforehand but you really never know when it comes to these things.

Twilight Begins to Ruin Everything

Twilight closed her eyes and concentrated. This spell would require all of her attention to work, even the slightest distraction could make things go unbelievably wrong. Still, even with the potential danger Twilight was quite pleased with herself. The spell was a work of genius that she was certain would earn her praise from her once teacher and close friend, Princess Celestia. Her brilliant idea came to her while she was dealing with Moondancer's friendship problem not too long ago. The concept was simple, if Twilight could enter a book to easier learn the information stored there, what would happen if she could make the book enter the real world? Just think about all the knowledge that could be shared! Surely everypony in Equestria could benefit from an amazing ability such as this! There was no way this could go wrong. But of course Twilight couldn't think about her impending success at this time, she needed to focus on the small book in front of her. "The History of Ponyville, Vol. 1.". When the spell activates Twilight would be able to experience the creation of Ponyville in person! The glow of her horn swelled and sweat dripped down her face as she grew with anticipation. She was close, just a few more seconds.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
On-"HIYA TWILIGHT!"
There was a phenomenal crash as the castle doors blew open and a familiar pink pony flopped into the room with remarkable speed.
"HeyTwilightIwasjustintheneighbourhoodandbyneighbourhoodImeanabouthalfthetownoverandIthoughtI'dcheckuponyouand-"
Pinkie's usual rapid fire speech slowly trailed off as she realized Twilight wasn't paying attention to her. She didn't blame her though, the pretty light bouncing around the room was very captivating. Though Twilight was captivated for a wholly different reason. Pinkie's remarkable entrance had caught her off guard, and in her surprise she had fired the spell at the castles unfortunately reflective walls. Twilight could only stare as the spell bounded down a hallway in the direction of the one place she hoped it would never reach.

Twilight dashed through the winding hallways of her castle following the glowing trail of her spell. There was only one thing on her mind, playing itself over and over in a feverish loop.
"Please don't be that room Please don't be that room Please don't be that room"
She watched helplessly as the spell flew through an open door she was praying to be closed. It was that room. Twilight burst into her room, her eyes frantically looking for the spell.
"Please don't be that book Please don't be that book Please don't be that book"
She flung her pillow off her bed and looked down in terror at the now glowing book once hidden there. It was that book. Pinkie had closely followed Twilight and could now see the distress she was in. She couldn't understand it herself but she assumed from the way Twilight was completely ignoring her attempts to find out what was wrong at the moment, it was fairly bad. She had never seen Twilight like this before, and decided she would need help to calm her down. Speeding off she thought she had seen Rainbow Dash somewhere close by. Yeah, she was exactly what Pinkie needed. She shouted at Twilights back while racing out of the castle.
"Don't worry Twilight! I'll find Rainbow and then we'll help you with any problem you could have!"

Meanwhile Twilight suffered in silence. Out of all the books in her room the spell had to have hit, it hit the one book Twilight would never have wanted it to. It was her diary. Or, as more personally known to her, The Book of Extreme Shipping. That's right, not just regular shipping. That stuff was full of love and hugs and occasional kissing. That was kid stuff, things a lonely teenager would write. But much like Twilight, her..."tastes" had grown. And while she had her fair share of diaries full of vanilla shipping, this one was much, much more. It was the kind of shipping one would write early in the morning after a late night of cider drinking, after all their censors and tiny voices saying no were long since bludgeoned into silence. The kind of shipping you wouldn't want to bring to home to mom. The sexy kind. The sexy and also involving most of your friends kind. And then it hit Twilight. Everything the spell was about to make happen was literally the worst thing that could happen ever. But she also knew how the spell worked. And she knew her sexy shipping. She could stop it. She just had to keep everypony who would be affected away from each other until she could fix this. And she would fix this. She had to.

Twilight burst from the castle, ready to stop the worst from happening. And then it hit her. Not an idea or anything like that, but the sight of half the town currently engaging in rather obscene and blush inducing acts with the other half. And then it hit her. Not an idea, or the sight of the town working its way to an R rating, but a penis. An actual penis. Just right on her face. Twilight was stunned.
"Did you just...?"
"Eeyup".
Twilight raised her eyes to meet Big Mac's. He was standing on his hind legs and supporting himself against the castle stairs banister. He began to wiggle his eyebrows seductively. Twilight was in disbelief. She opened her mouth to give Big Mac the biggest piece of her mind she could, and possibly blast him into dust if she felt like it.
"Oh Big Mac, are we really going to do this here? If we do we'll get...caught! Oh forget it! Take me Big Mac! Take me now!"
Twilight was baffled as she proceeded to drop onto her back and spread her legs. She didn't want to say any of those things! But as Big Mac prepared himself for entry she came to a horrible realization. "The Book of Extreme Shipping, Chapter 37: Big Mac Gives Twilight His Biggest Mac". Twilight had written this. It was after a pleasant lunch Twilight had taken with Big Mac. She couldn't believe what was happening. Everything from the dick in the face to the words coming out of her mouth were what Twilight had written. But hey, the spell had worked. Twilight started to make note of this, but was forced to leave it as Big Mac buried himself up to the hilt in Twilight. She cried out in a mix of horror, pain, and mostly ecstasy. After his initial plunge Big Mac didn't slow down, if anything he sped up. He quickly pumped his hot rod into Twilights love tunnel as her mind blanked and became fuzzy with pleasure. Twilights tongue rolled out of her mouth in what Big Mac took as an invitation to stick his in. Twilight accepted this and proceeded to wildly slap her and Big Macs tongues together while making very wet and disturbing noises. If Twilight could still form a coherent thought in the fuzzy blindness of love she was currently wrapped in, it would probably be about how she really doesn't know how kissing works. Instead, because of said fuzziness, her thoughts were more along the lines of "Bluuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhh". Eventually, after what felt like an eternity Big Mac finally started to halt his advance. Big Mac pulled out of Twilight with a loud pop, and Twilight finally began to think straight again. However, she soon found that instead of calling a retreat, Big Mac had ordered a full invasion from all his forces. The result was much like puncturing an air tight canister of milk. Twilight blinked in amazement. Big Mac was a big stallion, but she had no idea he had this much in him. She watched from her back as he trotted away whistling happily. Eventually Twilight managed to regain her composure and stumble back towards her castle, determined to solve this problem. But not before a couple of pegasus ponies flew by (literally connected at the hip, if you get my meaning) and passingly addressed her as Princess Celestia. Twilight decided to take a shower first.

Laughter filled the castle. Twilight couldn't believe herself, she thought this would be hard but the answer was so obvious! She needed her friends, because together they could solve any problem! She took to the skies to avoid any potential shipping waiting to happen and began to scan the ground for any signs of her friends. She had seen Pinkie earlier, but she had raced off to get something. What was it again? Oh yeah, it was Rainbow Dash. Twilight froze in mid flight. "The Book of Extreme Shipping, Chapter 23: Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash Come to Town". Twilight cursed those two's inherent sexual tension as she sped even faster in search of them. Searching the ground she finally saw a hint of Rainbow colour in a field. Twilight was ecstatic and started to fly towards it until it suddenly turned pink. Then Rainbow again, then pink, then Rainbow, then pink. Twilight cautiously flew closer trying to figure out exactly what was going on. It was definitely Rainbow and Pinkie, but what were they doing? It looked like they were wrestling? Twilight thought back to her story, and it all flooded in while Twilight felt her stomach jump into her throat. The picture cleared itself and she saw unabated for the first time Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie locked in each other's embrace, their heads between each other's thighs in a scissor lock that would impress even the best professional wrestlers. And at the same time they were both licking each other so furiously that one might assume they were in a race to get to the centre of a lollipop. Twilight could only watch as a sound akin to two wet lawnmowers fitted with rubber blades being smacked against each other penetrated her deeper than Big Mac. Once this flood of metaphors, like Big Mac, finished having their way with Twilight she managed to pull herself together enough to address the two currently rolling around in front of her.
"You two have to stop this at once! There is a horrible spell causing you to do this! You aren't in the right mind! You need to break free!"
Twilight was again met with the lawnmower sound, but this time it seemed to have a more "leave us alone" vibe to it. But Twilight wasn't going to take that, she continued to pontificate as they continued to make crop circles in the grass. However, just as Twilight was running out of breath the two loosened their grip on each other. Both starting to remove their front hooves from their vice like grip! Twilight cried in triumph, she had gotten through to them! Now they could go help the othe-wait, wait no. No, they were just relocating their hooves to each other's nether regions, where they began to rub furiously in rhythm with their tongues. Sighing, Twilight eventually decided that she would have to wait for this story to end before she would regain the help of Pinkie and Rainbow. She thought to herself, trying to recall the last words of this particular tale. Ah yes, it went "And then they remained bound to each other and made passionate steamy love for days on end." Twilight brought her hoof to her forehead. She didn't have that long, she would have to come back later. Taking to the air she started towards Rarities boutique. She always locked herself away in her store, there's a good chance that no one's gotten to her yet! Twilight smiled as she flew. Everything was going to be okay!

Twilight Makes Progress in Ruining Everything

Author's Note

Ah, I see you've arrived at the second chapter! So? Are we enjoying ourselves? You've followed my advice about not touching things I hope? Good! Well, with that out of the way, please come take your seat again! I have kept it relatively clean in your absence. There was some spillage, but with all these frivolous ponies around what is one to do? Any who, let us return to the story. I have a feeling that Twilight and her friends are in for a hard time! Ahahahahahaha! I apologize.

Twilight Makes Progress in Ruining Everything

Twilight observed the upended Ponyville from a safe distance as she flew above. How could she have let this happen? This was her nightmare come true! Not only did her shipping tendencies get out, but everyone was being forced to act them out! This was truly awful. But this was no time for self pity. She had to find Rarity before anyone she shipped her with did! Luckily she knew Rarity was going to be working alone at her boutique all day. And now that she thought about it Spike was helping her, so he would be safe there too! "The Book of Extreme Shipping, Chapter 134: Spike Grows Up.". Twilight slapped her forehead. Of course! After Spike's growth issue and his near confession with Rarity after the fact, Twilight had been up all night writing this one. She dreaded what she might see after arriving, but sped to Rarity anyway's. And after flying through the boutiques door Twilight found her worries completely justified. A noticeably larger (In more than one way) Spike was reclining in Rarities drama chair while the usually pristine mare was busy polishing his dragon junk like it was an unbelievably tasty popsicle. Twilight felt all her breath leave her as she promptly collapsed onto the floor. And despite Twilight being unconscious for most of these events, they proceeded in a rather pant raising manner.

Rarity was surprised for two reasons, and mulled them over as she all but devoured the dragons love stick. The first reason, was that she never expected dragon to taste this good. In fact it was so good, it was hard for her to stop. Which brought her to the second reason. Why was she doing this in the first place? One minute she was happily making dresses with her faithful friend Spike at her side, and the next she was mesmerized by a large hunk of a dragon flexing in the corner. Everything after that was a blur that somehow ended with her in this raunchy position. And even with her mind racing with these thoughts she still found herself bobbing her head like a well designed fishing lure. But eventually all the questions subsided, with Rarities mind eventually falling into a empty zen like state. After a couple more minutes of this Spike seemed to grow tired of the experience, and effortlessly picked up Rarity with both hands, her mouth sliding off his dragon lance leaving behind a pool of spittle. Spike held Rarity in front of him like an oversized stuffed animal and stared at her intently, as if he was trying to decide what to do next. He apparently figured it out rather quick, because with one motion he thrust her downward thoroughly impaling her hug box. Rarity flushed a deep red and drooped backwards as if she had lost all muscle control, leaving only the well built dragon to support her. Not that he minded, considering he was busy treating her like an almost empty bottle of ketchup. What will all the forceful thrusting up and down, and the occasional smacks aimed at the bottom. The thrusts began to speed up slowly and surely until all that could be seen was a frantic white blur on top of Spike, all while the dragon shouted what seemed to be a progressively more impressive war cry. Then all at once with one last meaty slam Spike burst like a fire hydrant. And despite Rarity being closely connected to him, the dragon still managed to give the entire room a new coat of paint. Which was ultimately unfortunate for Twilight, who had just begun to wake up before the impressive climax, and who's likeness was now a full scale transparent silhouette adorning the freshly painted window.

For what seemed like the millionth time today, Twilight found herself completely stunned. And for the second time, in need of a shower. Oddly enough, it was Rarities voice that broke Twilight out of her trance.
"Twilight darling, are you all right? However did you get caught in all of this?"
Twilight barely registered Rarities frantic apologies, she was to busy being confused as to why her friend was not currently acting out Twilight's dreadful fantasies. Furrowing her brow Twilight tried to think why Rarity had ceased attacking Spike's dragon meat for the time being. Twilight could have sworn that this particular story went further than this. Lost in thought she brought her head up and met the puzzled and worried face of her friend. Snapping back to reality Twilight apologized and proceeded to explain to Rarity what was happening and how she had been hoping to stop it. Clearly gathering the elements of harmony had been more difficult than anticipated in this scenario, but Twilight figured Applejack always had a level head, so if they could find her before she succumbs then they might have a good start. Finishing this thought Rarity suddenly gasped out loud.
"Applejack you say? Twilight, this is absolutely dreadful! My sister was going to be playing with Applebloom and Scootaloo at the farm today! We have to get them before they are subjected to this madness!"
Twilight reeled back and stared at Rarity in complete shock.
"Rarity they're children. Did you honestly think I wrote some horrible sexual fantasy about them?
"Well, I mean- I just figured-"
"Rarity I'm a pervert, not a paedophile!"
Twilight turned towards the door in a completely offended huff. Rarity futilely called out to her and as she left the door she suddenly remembered why she had thought Rarities story had gone longer than it had. Twilight faced Rarity dramatically and uttered one sentence before closing the door.
"The Book of Extreme Shipping, Chapter 135: Spike Grows Up, Part Two."
Rarity stared at the door frozen with shock as a large and muscular spike entered the room, with a unbelievably small towel wrapped around his waist. Rarity was overcome with lust as she launched herself at Spike once more.

Twilight muttered to herself, unable to believe her friend would think something like that about her. They had known each other for how long? And this is how she got treated? Unbelievable. She tried to focus her mind elsewhere, like her current task of getting to Sweet Apple Acres before anything happened to Applejack. The farm was usually empty around this time of day so Twilight wasn't worried about encountering her friend in another raunchy scene. She was in a good mood as she flew into the farm, and was positive everything here would be absolutely fine. Twilight cursed loudly. The Flim Flam brothers wagon was sitting out front. "The Book of Extreme Shipping, Chapter 400: Applejack Sells the Farm". Twilight knew exactly what to expect but still cautiously peeked into the barn anyway.
"What do you think about this apple, brother?"
"I think it's quite stuffed, brother!"
The Flim Flam brothers laughed in unison, both mounting Applejack from the front and back respectively. Flim was chortling wildly while repeatedly smacking Applejack on her flank and waving the cowpony's hat in the air. Meanwhile Flam guffawed endlessly while flailing around a piece of paper that seemed to be the deed to the farm and muffling every sound that Applejack was making. Twilight couldn't believe this, her own failure had cost Applejack her farm! Once she fixed her mess she would have to come back and use her sway as a princess to help get Sweet Apple Acres back, it would be the least she could do after what she was putting Applejack through. And boy was some stuff being put through Applejack. The brothers continued to chortle as they speed up their movements. Twilight couldn't help but be mesmerized, they were moving back and forth in sync, like a well tuned saw. Eventually the brothers finished their deed, an apt comparison being a tube of yoghurt bursting open from both ends. Twilight had seen a lot today, but she still puked in her mouth a little at the site of it. And then she remembered what she had written to come next, and she puked a little more.
"Well brother, now that we have the farm we need to get it modernized, isn't that right?"
"Right brother! But for all the machines we need to power we're going to need quite the efficient energy source!"
"How correct you are brother! It would be quite taxing to power the whole thing with our magic, so luckily we have a fantastic alternative!"
"Then let's not wait a single second longer brother!"

The brothers once again laughed in unison as their wagon opened to reveal a device one might expect to see in some sort of torture dungeon. A sexy torture dungeon. It was complete with straps and clamps and the occasional vibrating or phallic object. Twilight hid out of sight as the brothers strapped Applejack into the machine.
"All we need to power is this machine right here, isn't that right brother?"
"Correct brother! by powering this machine it will in turn produce an infinite supply of energy through the power of orgasms!"
Twilight couldn't believe she wrote that. It was so stupid. And it made no sense. She was a better writer than this, she needed to step up her game!

As Twilight was busy being angry with herself the Flim Flam brothers activated their machine. And like a very intrusive car wash, the machine got to work. Things were inserted, things were rotated, things were rubbed, things were vibrated, and occasionally things were pinched. The orange ponies face was almost completely red as her eyes started to roll backwards in her head. She would have moaned loudly but for the second time today, her mouth was full. Twilight was brought out of her stupor by the cacophony of noise being made. It was a horrendous mixture of laughter and mechanical whirling. She wasn't entirely sure how this machine worked but considering what it was currently doing to her friend and how it was filling up containers with some sort of glowing substance, she didn't really feel like sticking around to figure it out. Twilight figured it would be futile to try and stop these events but promised to come back to help Applejack as soon as she could. But she would need to stop this plague she caused first. And there was still one friend she had left. One friend she was completely positive would be alone at home, oblivious to what was happening right now. Now more determined than ever, Twilight flew to Fluttershy's cottage.

Twilight Finally Ruins Everything

Author's Note

At last here we are! We've come a long way, but the explosive finale is finally upon us! Haha, get it? Explosive? Oh I do slay myself. Well, let's not waste our time with pointless words and speeches and instead dive right into the thick of it. Take your seat this final time, and enjoy!

Twilight Finally Ruins Everything

At this point Twilight was having a very rough day. She had spent most of her time either flying somewhere to watch her friends be violated, or stumbling upon her friends being violated, or even just being violated herself that she was quite ready for this day to just be over. And in that regard she hoped she would have Fluttershy's help. And although she had been in high hopes as she initially set off for the shy pony's cottage, she found her optimism being slowly replaced with a less hopeful realism. She went through all her stories about Fluttershy and none of them were pleasant. Fluttershy was a shy and submissive pony in most cases. And yet Twilight figured she would be the exact opposite in bed for whatever reason. Luckily Twilight had never written any stories about Fluttershy and herself so she knew she was safe, but if anypony who was featured in one of her tales showed up, they would be in for a very rough time. Still, out of all her friends Fluttershy was without a doubt the most secluded, so the chances of her being effected were very low. So low in fact that Twilight was absolutely positive there was no way in any capacity that Fluttershy could be in any sort of trouble. Absolutely. Positive. And yet, as Twilight got closer to the cottage she was greeted with an eyeful of Bulk Biceps. The muscular pony was currently writhing on the ground, bound in tight leather strips and fitted with a blindfold and ball gag, all while a maniacally laughing Fluttershy stood over him, a painful looking whip at the ready. Twilight sighed aloud and whispered to herself.
"The Book of Extreme Shipping, Chapter 92: Fluttershy Brings the Pain"
She wasn't even surprised at this point. it seemed that everything that could go wrong today would. Dear Celestia how much longer would this continue to happen? Wait. Celestia. Princess Celestia of course! She was the one person who could fix this mess! Twilight knew that for sure because she kept all her juicy Celestia fics in a separate special journal! There was no way she could be caught up in all this! So for the final time, Twilight changed course and headed to some place she hoped would have the solution to all of her problems.

Twilight burst through the doors to the throne room of Canterlot Castle. And there, sitting in her throne, was Princess Celestia. Prim and perfect in every way, just like Twilight had hoped. Celestia turned to look at Twilight and smiled.
"Ah, Twilight. I was just thinking about you. What brings you here today?"
The Princesses usual overflowing kindness and warmth almost brought Twilight to tears considering what she had done. Taking a deep breath Twilight explained the entire situation to Celestia, from the beginning to where she stood now. Twilight prepared herself for the wrath of the Princess, surely she was furious at what Twilight had done. Yet, to Twilight's amazement all Celestia did was nod in understanding.
"Well Twilight, that would certainly explain some things."
"It would?"
"Yes of course, I thought everyone was acting unusual today."
Princess Celestia gestured to a corner of the room that Twilight hadn't paid any attention to until now. And now that she was, it was difficult to pull her attention away. Because of course anypony who happened to be looking at Princess Luna personally getting to know twelve of her closest guards at the same time would find it hard to look away. After watching Luna get drilled harder than a coal mine for a good twenty minutes, Twilight managed to focus enough to ask if Celestia knew any way to help stop this. Celestia thought for a moment before coming to a solution.
"Actually, I remember Starswirl the Bearded had a peculiar spell that might be perfect for correcting this situation. All we need to do is-"
Once again the Palace doors burst open, and an odd creature casually trotted into the room. Celestia was taken aback at the sudden intrusion.
"Who...and what, is that?"
The new arrival stood dramatically in the centre of the room for a moment before speaking.
"My name, dear Princess...is Ohsee. Ohsee Dewnaught-Steel. And I...am a very Sexual Deer."
Twilight was horrified. Not because an extremely awesome character of her creation had just appeared in reality, or because of the casual and smooth way Ohsee was seducing Celestia, or because of the way Celestia practically threw herself from her throne to attach her face to Ohsee's genitals, but because of what this particular story was. "The Book of Celestia Shipping, Chapter 45: Ohsee Claims the Throne." This wasn't a story Twilight had written in the book she hit with the spell. The book this story was in wasn't even in the same room as the spell at any point. Somehow, the spell was reaching out to all of Twilight's ship fics. This was the worst possible outcome. Twilight's mind was exploding with the consequences of this and how it would impact everyone she knew. Her life was over.

Meanwhile, Celestia was busy figuring out how many licks it took to get the the centre of a deer penis. It looked like it would be taking a while however, as the more she went at it, the larger it seemed to get. Not that Celestia was complaining, however. Really it was quite the opposite. She was enjoying every second of this. If Celestia had know there were sexy deer out in the world and that they were this well equipped, she would have sought them out a log time ago. The super cool way Ohsee was reclined back with his front hooves crossed behind his head was driving Celestia insane. Truly this was the epitome of the coolest character in all of Equestria. And Celestia felt privileged to service his tender venison for as long as necessary. However, it seemed Ohsee was growing bored of having Celestia's face in his crotch, and instead moved her so her face was in the floor, and her rear end in the, well you get the idea. Positioning himself at Celestia's posterior he gripped her sun endowed hips and thrust his ham rod deep into her flesh purse with a mighty cry. Celestia's eyes rolled up in her head as her face went completely red. Pumping mightily Ohsee showed no signs of slowing let alone stopping. Truly his awe inspiring endurance knew no bounds. Over the next couple of hours Ohsee took Celestia in every way imaginable. Sometimes she was on the bottom, sometimes she was on top, other times she was sideways or upside-down, occasionally they were on the throne, and once they were even hanging off a chandelier. It was crazy.

Back with Twilight, she had finally managed to get her self loathing under control enough for her to try and take action. She needed to get the information about that spell from Celestia, so she ran to where Celestia was currently on her back being taken in a way much like Big Mac had taken Twilight.
"Princess Celestia! I know you can't stop until the story finishes but I need you to tell me that spell so I can stop all of this and help you!"
"Ahhbuuuullaappffff"
"Princess I really need you to concentrate right now!"
"Wheeeeeeahahahahah"
As Twilight was trying to reason with Celestia, Ohsee finally reached his end. With a hearty laugh he pulled out of Celestia and coated the Princess and Twilight like a creamy fire hose. Twilight blinked. She needed to stop this from happening to her. However, while Twilight was trying to wipe her face with a curtain, she heard the Princess mumble something.
"heheh...heh...Starswirl..."
It hit Twilight harder than Ohsee's bodily fluids had, and she sprinted towards the palace library.

Twilight knew exactly what she was looking for, and as she ran through the hallways she happened to pass Celestia's room and glance inside. She stopped dead in her tracks, as she found something even better than what she was looking for. Propped up on a large stand was an even larger book. The biggest Twilight had ever seen. It must have had hundreds of thousands of pages to it. The book Twilight was running to the library to get was "A Brief History of Starswirl the Bearded". And yet, the massive book in front of Twilight was "The Complete History of Starswirl the Bearded, and Everything Related." This was far better than anything Twilight could have hoped. Twilight readied herself and began her spell. If it was this spell that got her into this, it was this spell that was going to get her out. If she used it on this book, she would without a doubt summon Starswirl into existence, and he would be able to tell her what Celestia was trying to. Her horn glowed brightly. This was her last chance.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
The spell shot off and hit the book so hard it knocked the cover loose. Twilight was ecstatic as she waited with anticipation. And yet, minutes passed with nothing happening. Twilight had lost all faith when Celestia walked into the room and looked at Twilight curiously. Twilight turned to face her.
"Why? Why didn't it work? I did everything right! The book should be coming true right now! Why isn't it working!?"
Celestia stood silent for a moment, watching Twilight. Eventually, she spoke.
"Dear Twilight, whatever are you doing in my room? It's almost as if you want me to punish you! Oh well, I suppose it can't be helped. You know what to do."
Twilight was flabbergasted. She had no idea what was going on, she hadn't written this! Suddenly there was a loud thump behind her as the cover of the large book fell to the ground. Twilight turned to see a new cover. Hidden behind the last one. "Princess Celestia's Book of Extreme Sexy Shipping, Vol. 1 of 200". Twilight's eyes widened as she realized what she had done. She looked back towards Princess Celestia only to see her glorious sun butt slowly closing in on her face. Twilight screamed in terror.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-MMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPFFFFFFFFFFHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

The End.