Call Of The Booty

by Black Hailstorm

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Other, Princess Luna, Comedy, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human, Anthro, Main 6
Length: 2453

Booty's, Plots, Flanks. They all have one thing in common, taunting the hell out of the champion of them all. What will the Booty Warrior do when faced with his greatest enemy. The plot.

Booty Warrior finds himself in Equestria. And after spending only a few minutes in the world of anthro equines the insane hunter of all booties finds himself aiming for the plots of the mane six when they are introduced to him. Will Booty Warrior gain the upper hand, or will the Equines somehow manage to curb his insatiable desire for booties and terrible puns?

Additional Tags: Innuendo, Sexual References, And more Innuendo.

Published 2015-11-21 13:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-21 13:10:01 UTC

Say Hello To The Predator

Say Hello To The Predator

It was a normal day. A day like any other in the city of Canterlot. And Celestia hadn’t been expecting much to happen that day, as she sat in her throne room in silence. Enjoying the peacefulness that transpired through the throne room.

“Princess!”

Oh no. Sighing the regal figure of the sun rose to her hooves with her arms crossed as the throne room gates were thrown open and two guards stepped out, accompanying a rather surprised looking stallion, who was breathing rather heavily.

“Is there something wrong Corsage Set?” Celestia asked her royal gardener. Rather surprised really since the stallion was one that didn’t really seem to be surprised that much nor ever overreact to anything really.

It took a few seconds for the stallion to catch his breath as the guards stared at him with a look of confusion on their face.

“We’re sorry Princess. I believe he is too tired to speak. We will have him return once he is in a proper state to talk” one of the guards said moving towards the stallion.

“If you do not stay back this instant I will buck you where it counts!” the gardener stated recoiling away from the royal guard with clear contempt.

The guard obviously did not like this and moved to sedate the stallion only to have to jump back in an attempt to dodge a the trowel the light green stallion held in his hand.

“That is quite enough” Celestia stated, having seen her fill of childness already the regal alicorn moved towards the stallion and nodded towards the guards, as they all settled before the ruler of the day.

“You may leave” Corsage said to the guards. “This is a matter I would prefer only the Princess to hear.”

`Both pegasus guards scowled. Looking up at the Princess as they waited for their orders.

“You may go, I will handle this” she said with a smile. Nodding, though reluctant the two guards walked out of the room casting dark glances in the direction of the gardener before they shut the gates behind them.

Princess Celestia looked down at the stallion before her. “What did you want to tell me Corsage?” Celestia asked as she moved over to her throne, taking a seat once again. “I hope nothing has happened to the plants Luna had hoped you could grow in the following months.”

“Of course not Your Highness. It is not the plants that you should worry about they are in proper care” he said with a small bow.

Celestia raised a brow, “Then what is the problem?”

The light green stallion seemed to cringe at the mention, of the task at hand he had come so swiftly to warn her off. Shuffling slightly as he rubbed his a thumb against the tip of the trowel the unicorn sighed.

“It would be best if you come with me to the garden. Please, follow me this way Princess Celestia” the stallion said knocking on the throne room doors.

Celestia’s curiosity only increased as she stood up following the gardener back to the royal gardens, near the castle.

Little did she know was that she was about to meet one heck of a interesting surprise.

“What is it?” Corsage asked.

Celestia stared in silence at the creature before her. The being seemed capable of standing on two legs like her and the rest of ponykind did, but at the same time it’s- no...his lips seemed more. Plump? then their own, his face appearing slightly more round and unlike the rest of the equines he was not as...multicolored, as they were.

“I’m not sure” Celestia said, still gathering her thoughts at the being before her. “How long did you say he was out?”

“I do not know Princess. I simply came to tend to the gardens this afternoon and found him laying here. He has been asleep ever since. There will be occasional times where he says something, but it is too quiet to hear. And his language seems very different from our own” Corsage said with a slight frown.

“Is that so?” Celestia said staring silently at the being who still lay unconscious. “If that’s the case then let’s try this” with a faint flicker of her horn the mare watched the sapient glow the same light gold aura before it quickly faded.

“Princess what was that spell?” Carosage asked.

“It was a mere translator spell. He should be capable of speaking Equestrian now.”

A few seconds later the man blinked. His eyes slowly adjusting to the light, as he returned from his deep slumber.

Oh...where the hell am I? he thought as the sky slowly came into view, then two figures above him. They looked almost animal like...almost like. “Horses?”

“Ponies” Celestia corrected with a smile. “And who are you my friend?”

The man stared in silence as he began adjusting to what he was seeing. But then again seeing that the creature talking to him was quite beautiful for a horse he decided that he would simply swallow his confusion and just go with the flow. After all what did he have to lose?

“I go by many names. The Hunter, Chocolate Smoothie, and Predator” the man stated as he rose to his feet, almost easily reaching the same height as the taller equine that stood before him with a curious brow.

“And what name shall we call you by?”

The man merely grinned, a sly smile crossing his face as he picked out the greatest name that would once again strike fear in every creature’s rump as it had back home.

“You can call me The Booty Warrior.”

“So why does he call himself The Booty Warrior?” Luna asked her sister as the man began walking around the throne room taking in all the fine furniture around the area.

Well Damn, if I weren’t possibly hallucinating, I’d say I’d died and gone to heaven. Just look at all this gold! BW thought as his eyes caressed the golden drapes.

“He did not say. When we asked him he merely laughed and said “time will tell.””

“Oh” Luna said sounding slightly disturbed, yet strangely piqued. “That is um...quite strange.”

“I don’t know sister there’s something about this fellow that says he has an interesting quality about him” Celestia said as she carefully observed the sapient who was carefully examining their belongings with a certain longing in his eyes.

“Um, Mr. Booty Warrior?” Celestia called.

BW turned his attention away from the drapes back towards the two queen like figures that sat before him.

“Yeees?” he asked with a slight unnecessary stress.

“I’ve invited my student and her friends over to meet you. In a hour or so they will be here. I’m sure since you may have spent your night asleep outside, you may want to freshen up a bit.”

Oh hell no.

“Are you saying I stink?” the man asked, much to Celestia’s surprise and Luna’s slight amusement.

“N-no of course not. I was merely saying that-”

“You think the Booty Warrior stinks don’t you? Just because I like a little action in the tuckus init?" BW asked with indignation.

Celestia was at a loss for words while Luna was enjoying her sister’s state of sudden confusion.

“Mr. Booty Warrior” Luna stated once she had been able to control her small fits of laughter. “My sister truly meant no harm she simply meant that a shower would be well suited for a man of such fine caliber such as yourself.”

Hearing these words for what was most likely the first time in his entire life BW calmed down. Pulling down his tanned sweater before clearing his throat. “I see, well then if that’s the case I apologize Your Majesty.”

“It is quite alright” Celestia said while looking at her sister with a look that said “how?” Luna merely responded with a smile of her own.

“If it is fine by you I can have the guards show you to your room for the meantime. And when my student and her friends get here we will call you down.”

“Oh that is perfectly fine. But your Highness if you don’t mind I’d prefer if you showed me to my quarters” BW said with a slightly coy smile.

Celestia went oblivious to this and nodded. “Certainly not a problem.” Rising to her hooves the regal beauty moved forward as she walked towards the throne room gates.

“Follow me.”

BW was happy to comply, as his eyes stayed firmly glued on the princess’s rear end. “I’ll follow you anywhere.”

“I’m sorry?” Celestia asked as they moved towards a northern tower.

BW merely shook his head as he followed the plot towards his resting quarters. Upon reaching the doors, the former inmate found himself urging his hand to stop, moving towards the retreating mare’s rump as she turned her back towards him and made her way back to the throne room.

“Oh yes” Celestia said failing to see the human had forced his shaking hand behind him in an attempt to fake innocence.

“If you need help with anything don’t be afraid to hit the service bell in the room” she said with a slight smile, before walking down the hall, and going down the steps. The clicking of her golden shoes still audible as the human felt his pounding lustful heart relax when he could no longer hear the presence below him. Or see that sacred booty.

Placing his trembling hand on his chest BW let out a sigh of relief, before going into his bathroom and taking a cold shower. If he planned on lasting long enough to release his full predatory instincts on this wonderful student of the Princess, then servicing himself with the mares and stallions would be a wrong move.

“Calm yourself BW. You’ll get through that plot armor soon enough” he reassured himself as he relaxed a bit more in the cold bath. “Ya just gotta be patient.”

Minutes later now down with his shower and back in clean clothes Booty Warrior made his appearance back in the throne room of the royal diarchy, now finding six other bootiful mares waiting for him as well.

“Welcome back.” Celestia said with a smile. “I would like you to meet my faithful student and her friends” she said.

All the mares smiled, which merely earned a slight rise in tension in the human as he stared each of the six mares curiosity hitting him as he wondered if their butts would feel just as nice as they looked.

“So what are you?” a purple winged unicorn asked.

“Well young missey I am what you call a human” he replied.

“Oooh I see” the alicorn said nodding with interest as she took in The Booty Warrior’s physique.

After a few awkward seconds of silence. BW spoke up.

“So what were your names?”

The mares smiled. A white unicorn with the most well trimmed and stylized hair the man had ever seen walked up before him, causing his booty senses to tingle as he could sense the booty was strong with this one.

“I am Rarity.”

MMm Mmm, I can see why, BW thought as his eyes glossed over the unicorn. Her voice drawing him out of his thoughts of perversion.

“And what is your name?” she asked with a warm smile.

Damnit! I can’t use my name, Booty Warrior is meant for the hunt if I use it now it’s game over. And he was right because out of the corner of his eye the man could see the princess opening her mouth to answer for him. Instantly rushing over and placing a finger on those oh so kissable lips of Celestia’s maw the human turned to the group smiling.

“Call me Bob.” Damn that’s lame!

“Bob?” everyone asked.

He nodded. “Bob.”

Twilight and the others looked at each other before nodding.

“Alright then Bob, I’m Fluttershy. It’s really nice to meet you” the shy pegasus said.

Bob gulped a bead of sweat forming on his brow. “Pleasure to meet you.”

The orange one was next as she tipped her stetson to the human. “Applejack.”

Fuck it I’m done.

“I love me some Applejack’s” Booty Warrior said which not only surprised the group but also confused the country pony.

“I’m sorry?” she said confused.

“Oh you don’t understand. You see where I’m from we have this cereal called Applejacks. And well” he placed an arm around her shoulder. “They tasteamazing.”

The mare simply backed away from the strange human smiling with a blush touching her cheeks. But the booty hunter wasn’t done yet.

“And what’s your name?” he said turning to the purple alicorn.

Twilight hesitated still slightly surprised by the sudden change of ‘Bob’s” behavior, but deciding to go with it she told the human her name. And strangely enough he grinned.

“I see” he said. “Well Miss Sparkle do you know what I see?” he said circling her like a tiger circled it’s prey, only he wasn’t just eyeing her. He was eyeing dat flank under zat skirt.

She shook her head.

“I see a sparkling flank. Now!” he turned his attention to the cyan pegasus that had been stifling small chuckles during this entire event. “What’s your name?”

With a “ahem” the cyan mare cleared her throat and any signs of laughter before speaking. Puffing her chest out she said. “Rainbow Dash, let’s see you turn that into a silly pun.”

Ha, too easy.

Still grinning with that lustful look on his face the warrior took a steady step towards Dash, each step pushing the mare back until she could no longer go any further, her back now against the wall. Leaning in his face inches from her ear the warrior whispered.

“I’m going to taste that rainbow.”

Her reaction was exactly what he had expected. Priceless.

Feeling his predatory instincts take control The Booty Warrior watched the Rainbow float back towards her friends a slight blush creeping her face as Celestia and Luna stared at him with no longer amusement but confusion written on their faces.

“Why are you doing this?” Luna asked.

A small chuckle escaped that offender’s lips.

“A better question is. Which way do you want it?”

“What do you mean?” Celestia asked.

“Well the way I see it we can do this two ways. We can do this the easy way or the hard way” he grinned. “The choice. Is yours.”

Author's Note

I have no regrets. But this may just be the weirdest thing that ever popped into my head.

Your welcome.