Alicorn Body Issue

by Bendy

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Celestia, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Human, Second Person, Comedy
Length: 1182

With a heavy heart Princess Celestia reluctantly turns down your romantic advances, over a certain issue involving her alicorn anatomy.

With a heavy heart Princess Celestia reluctantly turns down your romantic advances, over a certain issue involving her alicorn anatomy.

Published 2015-11-21 15:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-21 15:00:02 UTC

Alicorn Anatomy Problem

Standing upon two legs was you, a human. You were currently walking along a beautiful white marble corridor. Held in your hands was a large, silver cloche, concealing tasty food within. You was dressed in a traditional white chef's uniform, a toque hat, a double-breasted jacket and checkered pants.

In no time at all you reached the end of the corridor. Once there, a golden aura surrounded a large golden door. There was a soft click, followed by the door opening wide.

A big cheesy smile crossed your face upon witnessing a being of incredible beauty.

Sat around a large, wooden table, upon a fancy red armchair was an alabaster sun goddess of divine beauty, despite the fact she’s basically a horse. A horse with the finest big fat white butt in all of Equestria and the world. She was the one and only Princess Celestia, ponies from around the world wanted to tap dat ass.

As you walked toward the table Celestia was beaming you a warm, welcoming smile.

"Ooh, what cake did you bring me this time my royal baker?" she asked in a happy, excited voice.

You gave her a nervous smile, then without a word you placed the cloche before her.

"Oh, I hope it’s chocolate!" she giggled excitedly.

With that Celestia’s horn along with the lid of the cloche became surrounded in a golden aura. With the lid now wrapped in her magic, she wasted no time to proceed lifting the lid off, before gently placing the lid aside upon the table.

As expected it was a huge chocolate cake with something written atop it in white chocolate.

She gasped as she dropped her jaw and her eyes widen in shock upon noticing what was written on top of the cake ‘Will you go out with me?’.

"Nu-no… you didn’t. You don’t…. you can’t," she spoke in a low voice, her eyes becoming moist.

You sighed, looking down in shame. "I’m sorry," you spoke in a low and sad voice." I should've known, since I’m a mere mortal alien from another universe and you are an immortal pony goddess, so that means you would never find a guy like me--

"No! That’s not the reason," she shouted.

"Then what is the reason?"

"I… can’t tell you. It’s too embarrassing. All I’ll say it’s to do with my alicorn anatomy."

You kneeled before her, taking hold of her soft right hoof. "I love you, Celestia, no matter what. I don't care if you’ve got tentacles in your vagina that come out when you’re turned on or you’ve got a massive futa penis you’ve hidden away with an invisibility spell."

Celestia giggled with a hoof over her mouth. "I assure you, it’s nothing like that."

"I don’t care what it is. I want to be with you, for as long as my mortal body allows it."

"You wouldn't have to die on me. I could easily cast anti aging spells on you to stop you from dying on me. Regardless, as much as I love you, we can never be together."

Tears began to form in your eyes as you spoke in a low voice. "But… but… I love you, Celestia. I-I… I want to be with you."

Celestia wrapped her hooves around you and began gently nuzzling your neck. "I love you too, Anon. As much as it hurts me to do this, we can never, ever be together."

A long silence ensued. Celestia merely kept nuzzling your neck as you silently cried in her hooves. Her hooves were soft as silk… no even softer. Warm and tender, hooves that you will never know the love of.

"Can…can… I at least know why we can’t be together?" you asked in a low, broken voice.

Celestia pulled back to give you an imploring look, her beautiful large magenta eyes staring deeply into your own far smaller human eyes. "My sweet little human, you must promise me that you won’t tell a soul of what I’m about to tell you," she spoke in a soft voice, before her voice shifted into a stern tone."I warn you, if you tell this to anyone, I will throw you into the sun."

You gulped nervously. "I promise, I won’t tell anyone."

Celestia tapped her hooves lightly together, a nervous smile upon her face. "Well, how do I put this?... I’m too hot for anyone."

"Too hot? I don’t see why that’s a problem? In fact, I’d call it a bonus," you asked in a most bewildered tone.

"No, you don’t understand I am millions of degrees too hot for you."

"What?! What are you talking about?"

Celestia’s head went low in shame, tears falling down her cheeks. "The reason I can never know love, is because my vagina and asshole from the inside are literally twenty seven million degrees fahrenheit," she spoke in a low, longing voice of eternity without ever being able to feel physical love from anyone.

".... what? You’re joking?"

"No… it’s true I’m afraid. I can never have a penis inside me."

"Can… can you still masturbate?"

She sighed in relief. "Thankfully yes. My body can withstand the heat and pressure of a hypergiant star after all."

"Is it safe to slap and rub your ass?"

"Yes indeed, just don’t put your fingers inside my butt or vagina or they will be melted."

"Duly noted. So, did you… ever love anyone?"

"Kinda. Fifty thousand years ago, when I was eighteen years old I met a handsome stallion at a bar. We got talking, he told me of what a great fat ass I got. We got drunk, went inside a cubicle in the toilet and…. and… I vaporized the tip of his penis once it went inside my butt, thus he screamed in agonizing pain."

"Oh, shit. That sounds horrible."

"Don’t worry, I was able to quickly heal his penis with a spell. But then he ran away screaming anyway."

Celestia’s voice went low and soft as she looked at you with a most sorrowful look upon her face. "So, now do you see why we can never be together?"

You placed a hand upon her cutie mark, giving the soft fat there a gentle squeeze, before speaking in a soft voice of your own."Celestia… even though I can never make love to you. I still want to be with you."

"But Anon, we can only cuddle and kiss... Well, I can give you a blowjob and you can suck my nipples, give me a massage, slap and massage my butt and stuff but nothing beyond that."

"I don’t care Celestia, I love you. Maybe someday, some new spell will be made and we can finally make love. I want to be with you, Celestia. Forever and ever."

"Oh Anon," came her voice, soft and overwhelmed with emotion as tears streamed down her cheeks.

Both human and alicorn came together to kiss passionately, tears falling down both their cheeks over the physical love they can never give one another in two certain places.

The End