Hey, have you heard of The Doctor?
They saw that he’ll rewrite the past for you, but only one time.
“W-Would I be better off d-dead?”
It came out of nowhere. Directed towards me, for some reason. I looked in the direction of where the voice came from. It was the filly who sat next to me, Fluttershy, asked me that. We were in the same class at Summer Flight Camp, but have never really spoken much. She didn’t speak at all really.
Fluttershy had light tulip pink hair that hung down close to her knees, the color of butter for a coat, and 3 pink butterflies for a cutiemark. She also had these light teal eyes that always looked slightly sad. She was ever so shy and a weak flier too. A prime target for bullying. I’ve seen a quite a few of those scenes featuring her myself. I didn’t really feel any pity for her though. For life is life and we must continue on our own path and in our own roles. For in my life she was simply a classmate. That was her role.
But...Fluttershy came to me with that question.
That night, Fluttershy died.
I didn’t even know if it was a suicide, homicide, or accident. It was never revealed.
Fluttershy had passed away.
The truth of the incident had vanished into darkness.
That was all the teacher would tell me.
“I...don’t really care. I don’t really care that the filly who sat next to me died.”, I thought while gazing at the seat across from me where Fluttershy used to reside. "Even though she had disappeared…it’s not like we were related in any way. I don’t feel anything anything at all. I’m not even sad. I don’t have a single connection to her. She was just the filly who coincidentally sat next to me. Everything would be the same even without her. The same everyday routine. We would have our classes, go to breaks...Even billy and the rest of his gang would find someone new to pick on in a matter of minutes. Just the same daily school routine. She was gone, but my life would go on. The same continuous cycle.”
“Hahaha! Morning Thunderlane!”, yelled a raspy voice from high up above. I gazed upwards to the sky and all I could see was this rainbow colored blur rushing straight towards me.
I jumped away, scared it would hit me, but at the last second the blur pulled up from its plummet and came to a screeching stop at my feet.
“Hey hey! What’s up….”, her voice died as she scanned me from top to bottom. “You don’t look like your usual stuff today Thunder.”
I was too stunned to speak when I saw her rush towards me. It wouldn’t have be the first time she collided with somepony, because she timed it wrong. So, I just stood there gaping at the stunt she just pulled and how close we both came to getting injuries.
“Uh, hey! Equestria to Thunderlane! Do you read me?
I quickly regained my awareness and put all my confidence in those next 2 words.
“Loud and clear.”
“That’s what I’m talking about!”
The pony who was talking to me was a filly named Rainbow Dash. She had, as you would expect a Rainbow colored mane and tail which was in wild, uncontrollable style. Along side that, was a cyan coat and a lightning bolt for a cutiemark. She also had these dark pink colored eyes that always shone with confidence. Rainbow Dash was always the fastest and best flier out of all of us. She was also daring and quite rowdy and brash too. She was always confident in her choices. Some ponies saw her as a role model, to me though, she’s just another classmate, like Fluttershy. She too, also rarely spoke to me.
Apparently, she was Fluttershy’s best friend. Which I thought was quite humorous, due to each other's personalities.
“Hey Thunderlane, is there something bothering you?”
I just stood there trying to think of how to put it as gently as possible when she read my mind and put it out there right on the spot.
“Oh I get it! Duh! You must be pretty annoyed and confused huh? Seeing that I don’t normally talk you you, and then here I am! All of the sudden talking right to you. Buuut, I came to talk to you today ‘cause I have a favor to ask.”
When she said that. Her seemingly natural bravado faded in place of an expression somber and serious.
“Can you guess what it is?”, she said with a grin. Her bravado suddenly returned to her as if it never left.
“I don’t know.”, I said. Tell me.”
“Well… I was thinkin’, I wanna help out Flutters. And you’re the only one who can do that! She spoke to you yesterday right? I was watching y’ know!”
Suddenly Rainbow Dash’s gave off an expression of annoyedness, or even anger.
“...she went to you you to ask for help instead of me. Her best friend.”
I was a bit confused with the statement of how she asked me for help. She didn’t speak that word to me.
“She didn’t ask for help.”, I said. Trying not to have Rainbow get angry at me.
After what I said Rainbow’s face relaxed back into her more easy going expression and she gave out a sad chuckle.
“Heheheh. Flutter was the kind of filly who wouldn’t ask for help really. Even if she really, really wanted it. What a cute little pony she was.”
“And how are you planning on helping Fluttershy?”, I asked. Being a bit baffled at the statement, because the dead can’t come back. Right?
Rainbow once again put on a serious face.
“Oh, is that what you’re worried about? Well, you don’t have to worry about that Thunderlane...Hey have you heard of The Doctor? They say he’ll rewrite the past for you, but only one time.”
I laughed out loud of what she said just then. It was so utterly ridiculous of what she was suggesting.
“Hah! Doctor Whooves is just an old pony tale.”
“Wrong…He really exists. I know. I’ve even met him…You’ve met him too Thunderlane.”
After saying that Rainbow pulled out some sort of loop in the shape of an infinite sign out of her saddle bag.
“Okay here.”, she said holding it towards me. “It’s a time strip. I made it myself! I made it out of construction paper. You close your eyes, put both your arms through it and say the magic words. You have to say Doctor I beg of you eight times.”
It just got even more ridiculous after she said that. I didn’t even know Rainbow believed in this kind of folklore. But I decided to play along.
“Hah! I’ll prove to you it’s just a myth.”
I pulled it out of Rainbow’s hooves and put the loop through my own, took a deep breath, and said the so called “magic” words.
“Doctor, I beg of you. Doctor, I beg of you. Doctor, I beg of you. Doctor, I beg of you. Doctor, I beg of you . Doctor, I beg of you. Doctor, I beg of you! Doctor, I beg of you!!”
Suddenly. The strip began to glow with light.
“See ya later later Thunderlane.”, Rainbow said. “Heh heh heh heh heh.”
Then the glow shrouded me in blinding light…and everything went dark...
In the darkness, I was confused and panicking. Surprised that the legend was true, but was unsure of what to do now.
“Fluttershy can be saved?, I thought. “...By me? Why? How?”
I had all these questions spinning through my mind. It was too overwhelming. I began to black out. But...In that moment...as my consciousness began to drift away I heard someone’s voice calling out to me.
“How many times has it been now? What is it you desire? Do you still not understand? No how much you twist that ring of fate you’ll always arrive at the same result. If you still don’t understand this after going through it several times...then continue struggling within this endlessly repeating time period.”
2001/04/15
The next instant I was there. I felt a calming night breeze brush up against the back of my neck. When I looked up I saw the moon, gently shining above. Illuminating the night sky. I looked in front of me and saw I was at the front door of this house made from pillars and fluffy cumulus clouds...was this Fluttershy’s house?
“Well…”, I thought. “Here goes nothing.”
I moved my hoof to the door and found it unlocked. Then I slowly opened it and stepped inside.
Chapter 2: Choices in the Present Create Your Future
I carefully open the door and tried my best to close it ever so quietly. Then I took my new found surroundings. To my right there was a set of drawers. In it was full of household clutter and some spare keys scattered throughout the drawers. There was also a wooden coat rack with a small blue coat on it.
“I’ve seen a coat similar to this.”, I said outloud. Then I remembered.
It was during the wintertime. Cloudsdale was preparing for making winter so that the year could rest. That day everypony had to lend a hoof. Everypony didn’t have a jacket. They could stand the cold. Everypony except Fluttershy that is. Who was snuggled up in that blue, puffy, jacket. She was sneezing and had a red nose from the cold. The city’s bullies taunted her for being weak that day.
“Hey Cluttershy!”, they yelled. “You can already barely fly! Bet you can’t even get off the ground with that jacket on! What’s wrong Cluttershy? Why are you sniffling? Are you about to cry?”
I remember standing there. Just standing there and watching. Not making a move to help or provoke. In the end though, Fluttershy did run away crying. Crying and mumbling about that the statements were true.
I snapped out of my memories and turned away from the coat rack. I looked at the lay out in front of me. Before me was a long hallway. I trotted down to the end hallway. There were two paths. Straight ahead just lead me to an unknown room, and to my right there was a set of doors. I decided to turn right and quietly walked down the empty hallways until I came to the first door. Trying to get better at my surroundings and to find where Fluttershy was, I carefully went inside.
Inside was there house’s bathroom. There was a sink with a mirror above it in front of me. I walked towards it and I saw my reflection.
Dark grey coat, yellow eyes, and white hair with light blue streaks in it. It was fashioned in a sort of mohawk style. I had just got my cutiemark. It was a storm cloud with a single yellow lightning bolt coming from it. I turned away from my tired looking reflection to see that there was to my right a toilet, a green bathroom room stool, and a small bathtub. Not finding anything useful, I walked back the way I came and returned into the hallway.
I walked a bit further down when I saw another door. This time, it was to my right. Once again, I carefully went inside.
Inside there was a normal room. There were drawers and shelves to my left, filled with school books. On it sat a small flower plant and one oddly color book. I walked closer to the book, but decided to read it later. I turned and saw that to my right, there was a tall mirror with a TV and another set a shelves, but two of the four spaces had a refrigerator and a freezer shoved inside. Across from the TV there was a black table with a single black chair. On top of the table sat a box of tissues and a single book that was closed. Across from myself, was a small bed, and in it was a single sleeping form, cooing ever so softly. I walked closer to the sleeping form to see who it was. It turned out to be Fluttershy, resting in a deep slumber.
“How did you die Fluttershy?”, I wondered while looking at her gentle expression. “Why and how?”
After looking around, I start to look for anything guidance that could help me. I exit the room of the sleeping filly and then go down the hallway again. I go to the last set of drawers. There were larger sliding drawers. I quietly open then and enter the room.
Inside was a large bedroom room. There was a work desk. At the desk was a grown stallion. They stallion was muscularly built with an orange coat and a red mane and tail. I couldn’t get a good look at his cutiemark and he was sound asleep with his eyes closed. I looked at him carefully and then pictured fluttershy in my mind. I could see some similarities, so I assumed it was her dad.
To the right there was an old bed with diamond patterned bedsheets. In the corner there was also a coat rack with a suit hanging from it.
“Probably for his work.”, I thought. “ Whatever Fluttershy’s dad does.”
There was a shelf by the coat rack. On it were books and various other objects. I then looked around and saw a nightstand with a lamp on it. Inside the nightstand was a large amount of sleeping pills.
“I could possibly use these…”, I thought.
I began to reach my hoof towards them when I suddenly stopped.
“No! A good flier always gets a good view of his or her surroundings.”
I pulled back my hoof and quietly closed the drawer and went towards the work desk. There were some book on there. I grabbed one after the other and read out their titles. There was a book called “The Cash Stallion:Building Communication Skills”, “How to Speak While Looking Somepony in the Eyes”, and “Business Etiquette You’ll Be Shunned Without”.
After reading the books, none brought forth any interest. So, I just put them back where they belonged. I then began to even look in the trash bin. In there was a crumpled paper with a bad word my mom said never to use written all across it.
Since I finished exploring all the rooms in the hallway, I returned to the turning point and went straight instead. Inside was a kitchen area. There was a stove, sink combination with a pot on it. There was also a fridge, another set of drawers in the corner, and a shelving closet with plates and cups in it. There was also a TV and a wooden table with two chair sitting across each other. I head towards the stove and look inside the pot. In it were some hay fries.
“I wonder if Fluttershy made it. It smells pretty good.”
I closed the lid and looked at the stove options.
“I could turn on the gas if I needed to”, I mumbled. “Best not right now though.”
I looked at the sink. It was a pretty good sink. Like all sinks here, they all connect to the weather factory straight to the Rain Room. This was so we got the purest most delicious water there ever was. When I looked closer though, there was a drawer under the sink. I opened it and in it was a knife.”
“I could use this too.”, I thought. “But also only as a last measure or if I had this fool proof plan.”
I closed the drawer and opened the refrigerator next. In it were some containers stuffed with side dishes of old dinners. There were some apple slices, grass from below, all sorts of things. I closed the fridge and started to go the the drawers when something stopped me.
There was a picture hanging from the wall. In the picture was a family of three. One pony was Fluttershy’s dad, He was smiling happily and holding the hoof of somepony who looked startlingly like Fluttershy. Finally, in the center of the photo looking a little nervous, was Fluttershy. Looking a little younger, but acting not unlike her personality today. Everypony in the photo was smiling.
“Oh, Fluttershy…”, I whispered. “What happened? Why did you die?”
I tried to open the drawers, but then after a good struggle realized that they were fake.
“Oh nice going Thunderlane. Really smart what you did there.”
I headed over to the kitchen when I stumbled over something. It was a small red dragon. The dragon snorted and sat up.
“What do you want?”, it grumbled.
“Oh.”, I said, a bit startled. “Sorry to wake you. Are you a messenger dragon?”
“Depends who you want to message I can only message another pony’s dragon and the only one I know is to a somepony named...What was it called? Oh that’s right. Her name is Rainbow Dash.”
“Rainbow Dash?”, I thought. “Maybe she could help me with this. Her future self did in fact send me back to these past hours.” I pondered for a minute then stopped. “Thanks I said to the dragon. Can I use you to message her later?”
“Sure. Sure. Just wake me up when you need to. Hey...What did you say your name was again? And how do you know Fluttershy and her father?”
“Oh. Ummm...We’re f-friends. Yeah. Friends at school. She ummm, invited me to a sleepover, but I came a bit late.” That was the best idea I could think of.
“Eh. Works for me.”, said the dragon. He then closed his eyes and began to puff out smoke from snoring.
I decided to exit the kitchen and went back into Fluttershy’s room. I glanced at the book sitting on the black table again.
“Wonder what it is”, I thought. “I’ll just take a peek.”
I saw the title and it turned out to be Fluttershy’s diary.
“Maybe this can give me answers”, I thought. I read on.
April 2
“Such a sad atmosphere. It’s choking me. I can hardly breathe. I can’t smile at all. Even if I try to make myself to, there’s no heart in it. What’s keeping me going? What would happen if I lost that something? By the time I find out. It might be too late.
“Huh...I hear it. I hear it again and again. Please don’t do those terrible things. My heart aches so much. You’re a monster.””
“Dad’s having trouble at work again. Every day it’s the same for me. Same time, same place, same area. I want to help dad. I want to help dad. I want to help dad so much. What in Celestia’s name can I do? It’s so terrible. Not being able to do anything. It’s hurts so much. If only I could change just one thing… I don’t care what would happen to me. I probably wouldn’t be mad about it. I doubt I’d even resist...Like I always do.”
“What is my heart made of? I wish I wasn’t human, but rather as something without a heart. I don’t care whether it would’ve been animal or robot.”
April 3
“Once again dad…………….”
“I made hay fries today. I think it came out tasty. There’s nothing to do in the house, so I just keep improving my ability to do housework. I don’t even have any interests. I used to have some, but now I don’t want to do anything. Not even visit my new animal friends.”
“Leave me alone. I don’t matter anymore. If dad told me to die I would. That’s all I can do. There are no options. There’s no other way.”
“My body feels heavy. Was it always this heavy? I can’t even lift up my wings anymore.”
“...I’m going to sleep. I feel sad and depressed.”
April 4
“I talked to Thunderlane. That’s right. I’ve never really spoken to him much. Just like most of my classmates except Rainbow Dash...But he’s the colt who sits next to me. In class he always has this gloomy look on his face. Just like me….But mine can only be brightened by Rainbow’s attempts and that’s only for a short period of time….I can’t say much for him, but it sure doesn’t seem like he’s having fun with life...at least during class. I didn’t tell him anything. It’s not like I’m feeling concerned or anything like that. Did I want to talk to him about something? Not quite. I’m not worried about anything. There’s nothing to talk about. I’m...not worried at all….Haha.”
Nothing had been written after this.
“What do I do now?”, I thought. “What to do? What to do? I’ve explored Fluttershy’s house and the only things that may help are some sleeping pills, that colored notebook, the kitchen knife, the message dragon, and maybe the gas. No there’s one other thing I could do. I can just back out. Just leave and do nothing. Pretend nothing happened. I already know what’s going to come.”
I walked back to the entrance of the house, sat, and began to think.
“I got it.”, I said at last.
I decided what I was going to do.
