A Shipping Company is Formed
Camille blinked her eyes and yawned, looking upwards.
Never had the sky seemed so blue.
Never had the birds looked so colourful.
Never had the trees been so perfectly shaped.
Never had the wind smelled so sweet.
Never had her ceiling and walls been so missing… where on Earth was she?!
She pushed herself up, feeling the grass under her fingers. It was so green; it was so soft; it was hyper-real.
A shadow moved along the ground near her and she looked back up into the sky. A horse was flying past. A horse?! It suddenly sunk in… where on Earth she was… not on Earth at all! She was in Equestria.
⚢
Camille wandered past houses familiar from her favourite television programme. She could still barely believe she was in Equestria, and as she'd walked towards the small village she'd spotted in the distance, and realized that it was Ponyville, she couldn't believe her luck.
Her arm was covered in bruises from all the pinches she'd given herself trying to wake up, so she had to accept that this was real… that this had happened. She didn't know how she'd got here, and she didn't know how long she had here — maybe she'd wake up back home tomorrow, or the next day, or in a year. Maybe she'd be here the rest of her life. But however long she had, she was determined to take advantage of it.
The streets of the village were almost deserted but the ponies that were around seemed not to notice her. She gazed up at the houses and buildings she recognized from the television and ended up crashing into a pony and falling onto the ground.
The grey earth pony mare tutted. "Humans," she sighed.
"T–Tavi?!" Camille gasped.
"That's Miss Octavia Melody to you," the pony replied. "And who might you be?"
"C–Camille," she answered, still in shock.
"Cacameel? Silly human names. I meant what's your name here?"
Camille thought for a moment. "Spectrum Shine."
Octavia considered this. "That will do." She started to walk away.
"Wait a minute!" Spectrum Shine called. "Where's Vinyl?"
"Vinyl?!" Octavia replied. "Why it's seven o'clock in the morning. Vinyl Scratch is rarely up before lunch time."
Spectrum Shine smiled. "You two are such a cute couple."
Octavia raised her eyebrows. "Couple? Why, whatever gave you that idea?!"
⚢
Spectrum Shine sat up, rubbing her head.
"Hot cup of sweet tea?" Octavia said, sliding a cup and saucer in her direction.
Spectrum Shine looked around, taking in her surroundings. "You brought me back to your house?"
Octavia nodded. "Well, I couldn't just leave you passed out on the street, could I?"
Spectrum Shine scratched her head, trying to piece together what had happened. That's right! The world spun around, and everything went black. Octavia had just said something shocking. Now, what was it… "You and Vinyl are not a couple?!"
"Well, no," Octavia answered. "Vinyl's my oldest and dearest friend, and well, right now, she's between homes, so she's living with me, but it's not like that at all! Vinyl and I are… well, we're so different. It would never work out. Besides which, I'm pretty sure she's only interested in stallions."
"Stallions?!" Spectrum Shine gasped, clutching her chest.
Octavia rushed over to Spectrum Shine, holding her up, supporting her, and trying to prevent her from passing out again, while Spectrum Shine regained her composure. "Are you… are you okay? You seem to keep having these… well, panic attacks. Is it a side effect of your journey from the human world?"
"I just… stallions? Really? But you're supposed to be lesbian horses!"
Octavia rolled her eyes. "Well, some of us are but really, how would we even reproduce?"
Spectrum Shine shrugged. "Magic?"
Octavia shook her head. "Magic is a precious commodity and can't be wasted on things like reproduction, which can be handled perfectly well without magic. We only use magic for important tasks and when it's strictly necessary, such as for carrying things, running the postal system, defending Equestria against threats to its security, time travel, firework shows, and growing moustaches."
"Errr… right," Spectrum Shine said, not quite sure that all of those qualified as important tasks requiring magic. "Aaanyway… you and Vinyl aren't an item?"
"How many times do I need to tell you? No, we're not. Besides the fact that she prefers stallions, she and I are just friends. We've known each other so long it would be weird to be anything else with her."
Spectrum Shine thought for a moment. "I guess I can accept that. It's just you two were my OTP."
"Your OTP?"
"It means one true pairing," Spectrum Shine explained.
"Yes, yes… I know what it means… but… you mean you ship ponies?!"
Spectrum Shine blushed slightly. "Yes. I guess you could say it was a hobby of mine."
Octavia's jaw dropped open. "Me too!" she squealed. "I love coming up with ideal partnerships for my friends, family members, even just ponies I see on the street…"
Spectrum Shine interrupted excitedly. "… And then you intervene in their lives to bring them together!"
Octavia's eyes shot open and a panicked look came to her face. "Oh, no no no no no no no no NO!" she shouted. "I couldn't possibly interfere!"
"Why not?"
"These are their true pairings… their destinies… their perfect partners," Octavia explained. "They just need to be left to develop on their own. If they're meant to be, then they'll find each other. I'm sure they will."
Spectrum Shine raised one eyebrow. "You're sure they will? Future tense? You mean not one of these OTPs has worked out?"
"Well, not yet," Octavia admitted, grinning sheepishly. "But I've only been doing this for five years or so. I'm sure it will happen eventu—"
"Five years?!" Spectrum Shine stood and put her hands on her hips. "Right, we are putting your OTPs into action today!"
⚢
Vinyl Scratch's chest rose and fell slowly.
"Awww… she's so cute," Spectrum Shine said, watching the mare sleep.
"Pffft! Another reason I could never be with her. The snoring!" Octavia huffed.
Spectrum Shine smiled watching Vinyl for a few moments later before turning back to Octavia. "So, who is your OTP for Vinyl?"
"I still don't get why we had to come to her bedroom to discuss this."
Spectrum Shine shrugged. "Stop avoiding the question."
"Fiiine!" Octavia whined. "It's this hotshot music producer I know: Neon Lights."
"Oh, Neon, yes, that makes sense," Spectrum Shine said.
"And you really think we should try to get them together?" Octavia asked.
"Yus!"
Octavia took a deep breath. "You'd better wait outside for this."
Spectrum Shine looked at Octavia skeptically for a moment, but left the room, waiting in the house's small hallway.
She heard a splashing sound followed by a stream of curse words that she'd never imagined she'd hear straight from the horse's mouth.
⚢
Vinyl sat on the sofa, a towel draped around her neck, eating the breakfast that Octavia and Spectrum Shine had prepared for her. "I still think you could have found a better way to wake me up," she grumbled.
"It's the only reliable way," Octavia replied, putting the bucket away in the cupboard under the kitchen sink.
Vinyl rolled her eyes and kept eating.
"Anyway, I've already told you. Spectrum Shine here is going to make it up to you by buying you lunch."
"Yes," Spectrum Shine confirmed, and recited the line she'd agreed with Octavia, "as a representative for humanity, I'm very interested in booking some gigs for you in our world."
Vinyl looked skeptically at the human. "I thought the events that sent humans and ponies back and forth between here and your world were random and unpredictable."
"Errr…" Spectrum Shine looked at Octavia. They hadn't rehearsed this. "Yeah, they fixed that?"
"Who did?"
"Ummm… alicorns."
"Okay", Vinyl said, seeming satisfied.
"So you'll have lunch with me?" Spectrum Shine asked.
Vinyl shrugged. "Sure."
Spectrum Shine smiled proudly at Octavia.
Octavia coughed and used her head to gesture towards Vinyl.
Spectrum Shine lowered her eyebrows and shrugged unsurely.
Octavia rolled her eyes and pantomimed circle shapes in the air with her hooves.
"Ohhh…" Spectrum Shine groaned in realization. She turned back to Vinyl who seemed not to have noticed the silent exchange between Spectrum and Melody. "And can you bring some of your favourite records."
"Kay," Vinyl answered, finishing the last of her oats. She stood up and walked to the door, yawning. "I'm going back to bed."
⚢
Vinyl trotted towards Savoir Faire's café, thankful for her shades which kept the sun out of her weary, bleary eyes.
"Table booked for Spectrum," she told the waiter once she'd arrived.
He guided her to an empty table set for two and helped Vinyl into a seat. "The other diner hasn't arrived yet."
Vinyl could see that. "Could you get a jug of water for the table?"
The waiter nodded and left.
Vinyl slipped her headphones on with her magic, and started flipping through the records, deciding which she's show to Spectrum Shine first.
Something seemed odd about the whole situation. Vinyl would be the first to admit that she was no expert on humanity, but Spectrum Shine didn't seem to be the kind of person that would be sent as a representative of her species — not that there was anything wrong with her, but she seemed too relaxed, too casually dressed. She would have expected humanity to send somebody wearing more formal attire. Perhaps somebody carrying a briefcase. Somebody with a severe-sounding voice.
She was interrupted from her thoughts when she noticed her cutlery rattling. She looked up to see a stallion seated opposite her, pounding on the table with his hoof. She slipped her headphones off. "Whatcha doing that for?!"
"Ah, so she does respond after all," the grey unicorn stallion said to no pony in particular.
"Neon Lights," the stallion replied. "And you must be Spectrum Shine. I must say, I was expecting a human."
Vinyl corrected him. "I'm not Spectrum Shine. I'm supposed to be meeting her here."
"Hmmm…" Neon scratched his head with a hoof. "If we're both supposed to be meeting her, then why is this only a table for two?"
"I don't…" Gears turned in Vinyl's head. "Wait a minute… you're Neon Lights?! The Neon Lights?"
"Yeah. What of it?"
"I'm a big fan!" Vinyl gushed. "Look," she said, flipping through her records. "I've brought all my favourite records with me and… one… two…" — she counted through them — "three… I dunno… probably half of them were produced by you."
Neon Lights blushed. He didn't really have any "fans": ponies paid attention to the singers, the song writers, the musicians… never the producers. "I… that's a nice thing to say."
"Could you… could you sign some of these?" Vinyl asked nervously.
"Ummm… yeah, of course," Neon said. "You have a pen?"
Vinyl passed him her pen and he went through her records, signing all the ones he'd had anything to do with the production of… which was most of them, as the cute mare had claimed.
Once he'd finished, he passed her back her records and pen. He looked around. "It doesn't look like this Spectrum Shine person is coming. Should we order? I'll pay."
⚢
"Ouch!" Spectrum Shine cried, recoiling from the sharp thorn that had pricked her. "Watch what you're doing! You nearly pushed me into the bush!"
"Sorry," Octavia whispered.
Spectrum Shine peered again through the binoculars she'd borrowed. "I think it worked!" she said, watching as Vinyl Scratch and Neon Lights emerged from the restaurant, joking together and smiling.
"Are you sure?" Octavia asked skeptically.
"Look at their body language!"
Octavia watched the ponies. The kiss — and not just on the cheek — that Neon gave Vinyl seemed to confirm it. "Wow… you're right! I should have set them up months ago… years ago!"
Spectrum Shine smiled at her. "So… any other ponies need shipping?"
A Romantic Romance for a Romancer [The Hat Mann]
Author's Note
This chapter contributed by The Hat Mann.
A Romantic Romance for a Romancer [The Hat Mann]
“So how exactly do you think I’m getting home?”
This caused Octavia’s train of thought to come to a screeching halt mid-bite of her daffodil sandwich. When she’d appeared, this strange human woman had tried to put her and her friend Vinyl in a couple, her ‘ship’. But it hadn’t gone as planned and Octavia then explained to her that she already shipped Vinyl with another pony. With that out of the way, Spectrum Shine and Octavia had set Vinyl up with Neon Lights and then went out into Ponyville to explore the scenery, greet the residents and ship anyone that they came into contact with. Such is the life of a Tumblr user. They’d only recently stopped for lunch in one of Ponyville’s cafés.
“Actually, now that I think about it, I have no idea. I suppose we could go to see Princess Twilight about the whole thing.” Octavia inwardly applauded her quick thinking. If anyone could sort out this situation, it was Twilight with her incomparable knowledge to the arcane arts.
The young woman took a slow and deliberate bite of her apple, the one thing she found edible on the menu, and chewed thoughtfully. “You want to trust transdimensional travel to a mare who’s made the entire town go crazy over a doll and create several separate timelines that destroy Equestrian society as we know it?” The woman looked at the mare who, to be honest now, had a slightly scared look on her face. She took another bite of the apple. “Eh, I’m game. But right now though, the sun is still up and there’s some ponies I ain’t met yet.” Octavia could only nod as they continued to eat their respective meals.
Octavia left her silverware and plate on the table while Spectrum Shine simply threw her apple core into a bin. They had already paid for their food so they were soon wandering the streets again.
“So, got any places that we could go for something sweet? I need more than an apple to fill me up.” The human was looking down at the grey earth pony as they both wandered the streets while trying to ignore the surprised stares of multiple ponies eyeing the new person in town.
Octavia stopped for a second and put a hoof under her chin in a thoughtful manner. “Well, there is Sugarcube Corner. I hear the Cakes have some new delights on sale and I heard they were personally baked by Pink—” A hand quickly clasped itself against her mouth so her words were cut off. She looked incredulously at her human captor who had a panicked look on her face and gave her a look that said ‘what the hell do you think you’re doing?’
“Don’t. Say. Her name,” Spectrum Shine whispered sharply, but in a slightly fearful tone.
“But why not? You said you’ve seen her on the show so you know what she’s like.”
Before she knew it the hand left her mouth and the whole area was darkened with clouds even though it had been sunny seconds before, and a spotlight somehow shone on Spectrum Shine who had put herself in a dramatic pose that reminded Octavia of one of those Anime shows.
“She is the one who must not be named. The Oncoming Storm. The Destroyer of Worlds. Her powers are beyond anyone or anything imaginable. She has done the impossible and continues to do so to this, very, day.” She moved her head to look at the grey earth pony who up until that moment didn’t realise what a weird and terrifying experience this was.
“B-but it’s just little Pinkie. Why would she do stuff to be described like that?” To be honest with herself, Octavia didn’t want an answer. But she got one anyway as the human slowly walked towards her.
“Because some ponies aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with.” And now Spectrum Shine had gotten so close to Octavia they could feel each other's warm breath on their fur and skin as a hand gently cupped and lifted Octavia’s chin so they could stare into each other’s eyes. Her next words coming out in a slow whisper. “Some ponies just want to watch the world burn.”
Their faces inched ever closer, a blush growing on both of their faces as their lips were about to conne—
“HUMAN!”
This brought both pony and human heads to turn and give a respective “wut?”
Faster than they could anticipate a greenish blur hurtled itself into the side of Spectrum Shine and sent her flying into the dirt. All with the grace of a wrecking ball.
“Oh my goodness I am so sorry! I just saw you and thought ‘hey, a human’ and I sorta lost it.”
Blurs and specks in her eyes eventually melded back into coherent shapes and she saw the face of Octavia looking worriedly at her but also…
“Lyra? Is that really you?”
The mint coloured unicorn gave the floored human a hoof up while giving an apologetic smile. “Yeah, that’s my name. Look, I’m really sorry. To make it up to you, I have a friend who owns a sweet shop and is probably making really good tea right about this time. Would you like to come over?”
Spectrum Shine looked towards Octavia and gave a pleading look to the mare. ‘They have sweets and tea’ mouthed the human. Octavia conceded and have a small nod to her human companion.
Spectrum Shine looked back to Lyra. “So where’s this shop?”
⚢
Now sitting in the back room of ‘Bon Bon’s Sweets ‘n’ Stuff’, Spectrum Shine was sitting on a sofa next to Octavia and opposite to them seperated by a coffee was a mint coloured unicorn and a cream coloured earth pony, the latter who had just brought out tea and for the umpteenth time apologised for her friend’s actions.
“Please, Bon Bon, it’s perfectly fine. I half-expected a scenario like this to play out when first coming here. I just didn’t know when. The human woman had a sip of her tea, smiling at the perfect taste.
The earth pony in question still gave an apologetic smile. “While that may be the case, I still believe you should know that me and Lyra,” she accentuated her name and gave a small glare to the mare in question sitting next to her who could only give a sheepish grin, “are terribly sorry about all this and we hope you accept our humblest apologies Oh, and I hope the free sweets are to your liking It’s the least we could do.”
Octavia decided to take over for Spectrum Shine in appeasing the locals. “Your apology and gifts are accepted and we forgive both of you. Now I have something I have to ask. How did you know where we were?”
Lyra perked up when she heard this and pulled out a small device seemingly out of nowhere with her magic that looked like it was made with all sorts of bits and pieces.
“I tracked you down with this. This is my human detector. It goes ‘ding’ when there’s humans nearby. It’s still in its development stages as while it is useful for finding lost humans, it tends to—” Her sentence was cut off as the small device shook violently and flew out the window. “… go berserk when coming into contact with any type of magic.” She gave a sheepish smile. “But it hasn’t caused anything bad.”
*Crash* “My cabbages!”
*Thump* “My hat!”
*Rip* “My face!”
The unicorn gave a nervous laugh and used her magic to quickly shut the window. Bon Bon blinked and turned back to her guests.
“So, what brings a human like yourself to Equestria? On a vacation? Or is it another one of these times where you’ve popped up here without question to save the world or gain superpowers or something?”
Spectrum Shine shrugged absentmindedly. “Or something, I guess. Not the best explanation I know but back where I come from, we could practically fill a library with the amount of Human in Equestria stories that’ve been written. It’s both incredible, and weird. But mostly weird.”
She placed her teacup after finishing it on the table and leant back on the sofa fighting the urge to put her feet on the table. “So how long have you two been together?”
Bon Bon’s tea suddenly went down the wrong hole causing her to cough and splutter while Lyra began to laugh. Octavia looked at Spectrum Shine with a disapproving look, which she ignored of course.
Bon Bon finally got control of her words. “W–well you see me and Lyra are… well we’re just… what I’m TRYING to say is… oh, for the love of— fine! Yes, we’re together. But how did you know?! We haven’t told anpony yet!”
Spectrum Shine looked at the frazzled mare with amusement in her eyes. “Well for starters, you two have been my OTP for as long as I can remember. That or only since the Slice of Life episode. Another is that while you two usually squabble and argue which you’ve mostly been doing in the kitchen because you thought we couldn’t hear you, (spoilers: we can) you two still have a strong friendship that couldn’t exist without something backing it up. And my final reason:”
She moved her open hands in a circular movement. “Magic!”
The human looked to her watch and seemingly noticed the time as she sprung from the sofa. “Anyway, thanks for the tea and candy. But we’ve got stuff to do. Y’know, ponies to meet, bodies to rock, that sorta thing.” She grabbed Octavia’s hoof and pretty much dragged her along who was whining about not finishing her tea.
“Thanks again!” The door slammed shut and the sound of feet and hooves on dirt slowly quieted down until the only noise left in the house was the constant ticking of a wall clock.
“Well that was something,” Lyra said. “Maybe we should have guests more often, eh Bonnie?” She looked to her partner who only held a thousand-yard stare.
“Never again, Lyra.”
