Training is key.
When you open your eyes, you already know what time it is. It's about 8am. Rolling over, you check the clock on your bedside and it only affirms your instinct. The alarm clock was set to exactly when you wanted to wake up, but you don't hear an alarm. It's not because the alarm clock is defective, but rather, that you have a critical flaw.
Deafness.
It was never a problem when you were on Earth. American sign language is a fantastic way to communicate with whoever has the patience to learn it. Even then, lip reading is an extremely useful tool. Both of which you were able to become fluent with, as well as still be able to speak.
The only problem... was that sign language wasn't really an option for these ponies. Pinkie Pie tried once, but you still have nightmares about it.
Moving to the side of your bed, you get up and move to the window, where the golden rays of the day assault your pupils. With a quick rub of your eyelids, you knock the sand out of your eyes to get a good view of the world outside. There wasn't a cloud in the sky, a gentle breeze rustled the leaves in the trees, and the birds were flapping their mouths a lot. It'll be a good day to get some things done outside.
But, not yet. It's too early for this shit. You need some coffee.
Stretching your arms, you grunt the soreness from your muscles as you head downstairs in your pajamas. While you're at it, you might as well have a bowl of the best cereal ever. Sweetie O's.
Walking into your kitchen, you relished the brief moment of peace and quiet. Figuratively speaking.
Most ponies try to just grab your attention by punching some random part of your body. So, every day you had to leave your house to a relentless assault of ponies. Which would be great, if you were into that sort of thing.
But, your not. Also, they're horses.
But, that's negotiable.
The other side effect of being deaf in Equestria was quite simple. No visitors at the door. Apparently some ponies would just come and knock on your door and you'd never even answer. Which was only a bit of a problem when Pinkie used her face to knock. For about five hours. After that, and a hospital bill, ponies just seemed to not come to your door anymore. You wouldn't even hear if there was a massive dragon terrorizing the town right outside your window.
However, that's probably never happened before.
Yet, there is still one little ability you have. Over the years of people staring awkwardly and trying to grab your attention, you have a sixth sense for when other ponies are around.
And sure enough, once you started the coffee pot, the hairs on your neck stood up. The unmistakable feeling of forgetting something pestered your thoughts. The unnerving sensation of being watched crept into your soul.
But, it's morning. Screw it.
Grabbing a bowl and some cereal, you do your best to disregard it and enjoy your breakfast. Sitting down, you prep your breakfast and fill your spoon with little frosted Sweetie O's. Raising it to your mouth, you close your eyes and relish that nothing is going to ruin your morning.
Until something touches your shoulder.
Then Kung-Fu mode kicks in.
You grab the unknown entity by the hoof and whip them around. As the mysterious pony is lifted into the air, your breakfast goes flying. Finally, you get a good luck at the intruder as they slam into the nearest wall.
"Oh! Hi Fluttershy," you say normally. “Sorry about that.”
Fluttershy slides down the wall, dazed and confused. You check the front door and find it closed tight. She must have closed the door on her way in. What a nice unwelcomed house guest.
She stands up and hides her face behind her mane. Your eyes focus on her, but her mouth is completely covered by her mane. Her face and hair move a little bit, then she stares at you.
Oh shit, she's probably talking.
"Uh, I won't understand you unless I see your lips, Fluttershy. I can't read your mind."
Fluttershy tosses her mane behind her face and blushes.
"Oh... um... sorry. It's just, you never answer your door in the morning when I come to check on you, and... well. I was worried that something might have happened to you," she says.
"Oh! Well thanks! I never hear if I have visitors, so this means you must be the first real visitor I've ever had."
She buries her face into her hair again to hide the adorable smile and pinkness on her cheeks.
"Can't hear you."
"Oh... yes. Well, um. I just wanted to know if ... your ..." she says slowly.
Except, then she says something else. You haven't lip read these words before.
"Uh. Can you say that again, please? Maybe slower?"
"Um. I wanted to know if sunrises was your …"
Her face glowed in anticipation for your answer. She moved closer to you with the cutest smile on her face.
"I'm sorry, one more time? I didn't catch the last part."
"Are surprises your ...ish?"
'Are surprises my relish?' No that can't be right. 'Are sunrises moonish?'
"Silly Fluttershy, sunrises don't have anything to do with the moon," you say with a wide smile.
She looks at you with an unmatched expression of confusion.
"No anon, are sur-prises your ...-dish?"
Uhhh. Okay. Surprises. Got it. But dish?
"How can surprises be my favorite dish. Surprises aren't food, silly."
Unless it's a Pinkie Pie surprise anyway. Then sometimes it's food.
"No, no, no!" she says, her face scrunched.
She stomps her front hooves on the ground and thinks for a second. Adorableness of this magnitude can only exist on Equestria. She takes a deep breath, and brings her hooves to your face.
"I want to make doves with you."
Woah. Lewd.
"Uh... We should let doves do that on their own, Fluttershy."
Everyone always said that she was really good with animals, and you thought they meant like a zoo keeper. But, now you were really beginning to wonder if she really is a crazy animal pony.
"No. Uhm. I want you, to count me."
You look down at your fingers, then back to her.
"Uhm. Okay," you answer, unsure if yourself.
Her face lights up and she begins to dance in the air. Finally. Something you can do right. You point at her with a proud smile on your face.
"One."
She stops to stare at you, then lets out a dejected sigh.
“Nevermind, Anon. Sorry. I'll leave,” she says.
With a sullen expression, Fluttershy turns and heads to the front door of your home. Goddamnit. You can't let your first house guest leave sad. Let's try one more time! Heading her off, you wave your hands in front of her.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please one more try. I'll get it, I promise. Make it easy. Like for a little filly or colt."
Turning to you, with very little hope left in her face.
"I. Would. Like. To. Sweep. With. You."
Oh shit! That's... That's...
"I would love that Fluttershy!" you answer, your smile widening.
Her face is filled with disbelief.
"Really?" she asks.
"Yeah, a lot."
You run in lightning speed into to your closet. How could she know? How could she know that this turned you on? Maybe she doesn't. Play it cool, Anon. Don't ruin this for yourself.
Grabbing a maid outfit and your broom, you dash back to your kitchen. For 'just-in-case' sexy time celebrations. Trying to conceal Excalibur with the broom, you renter the kitchen. She sits at your table, wearing that innocent smile of hers.
Her smile fades when she sees the broom.
"No, no, no... Not sweep- Just forget it, Anon. I'm sorry I bothered you,” she says.
"No! Fluttershy please! Maybe we could just clean up the kitchen a bit and try again?" you plead.
Fluttershy shakes her head and rises from the table.
"This was a mistake. I'm sorry I came over."
She flies out of the house and the door leaves a silence after it shuts. There was a silence before it shut too, but was is a metaphysical silence, not literal one.
The Sweetie O's weren't sitting well any more. You might as well clean up anyway, since it's a brand new day. However, now you're going to have to live with the disappointment that you will never get to sleep with Fluttershy.
Oh well, she probably wasn't interested in you anyway.
