Take it off... I won't ask again...
Purpose... What is my purpose?
We're lost without it, are we not? That thing that keeps us moving, keeps us breathing, living... fucking. Its purpose that defines us and our motivations. A man without purpose seems eternally fucked. Unless, of course, It was in that man's nature, his being. That his purpose was derived only from the bliss of losing himself in the "fuck". Because then, things seem simpler, easier. Maybe then he realizes he doesn't need purpose. He just needs to cope.
"Well?" Twilight Sparkle probed. "What was your purpose?"
I shook myself from my rambling mind and focused on reality once more. I was seated on a long comfortable lounger in a grand looking library within the company of a pony I called my only confidante. "This again?" I replied almost defensively. "How many times have we been over this? I don't know anything of my past before arriving in Equestria. How can I tell you what my purpose was if I can't even tell you my name?"
The alicorn princess was seated beside me. She looked exceptionally cute today. Her mane just as groomed as it always was, her perfectly preened feathers and that adorable twitch in her lip when ever she's been slightly offended. All this heightened by the fact that she was just as naked as the day we first met. It was always difficult having to endure these sessions with her and resist the urge to stare every time she shifted and revealed her lower extremities.
"I continue to ask because its not a question about your past. It's a question about who you are. If you cant remember anything, then what is it that drives your sense of morality? How do you make decisions if not based on what you know?" She paused, not to let me answer, but to give me a curious, almost searching look. "My studies about the understanding of consciousness reveals that purpose is almost instinctive. That it is bound to our nature as individuals so closely that it can't truly be forgotten. If that's the case with humans too, then maybe figuring out what your purpose is will help you understand who you are a little better."
"Well I guess its hard to figure out what your purpose is when your every move is decided upon by someone- sorry, somepony else ," I said, dropping my gaze momentarily for a hopeful glimpse.
"Really? Every moment?" she asked with a hint sarcasm. "You also have free time don't you? What do you do to keep yourself busy?"
Flashes of encounters with Fluttershy start to edge into my thoughts. I see her wet and on her back, rubbing herself in the pond by her cottage. I see us together in her room, curtains drawn and doors shut, her face against her pillow and her flanks in the air. I can see my hands gently stroking her outstretched wings, my extension plunged deep inside her.
"N-Nothing..." I lied. "I have three meals with Fluttershy each day and I walk the edges of her property when I feel like wondering."
"Really?" she asked again, narrowing her eyes. "Nothing else?"
It sounded like she was trying to get me to admit to something she already knew. "I'm not sure what it is you want me to say?"
Twilight giggled, unfurled her wings and hopped gracefully off the lounger. "You know..." she began, turning her back to me and peering over her shoulder. "Fluttershy is one of my closest friends."
"And?"
"And that makes me privy to a few certain details of her life." She grinned impishly, seemingly enjoying herself. "Like whether or not she's been sexually active."
I felt my stomach drop slightly. I knew exactly where she was going with this. "How do you know all this?"
Twilight blinked. "She told me all about it, of course."
"She told you about... about herself and I?"
Twilight grinned again. "Lets see," she chimed. "First time in the pond, second time in her bath, third time actually made it to her bedroom. And all of this in the space of thirty-six hours."
I was stunned silent. Not sure who I was more angry with. Fluttershy for giving away every detail of our intimacies or Twilight for taking such a cavalier approach to something I found truly personal. Even if it had been motivated by a sense of pure lust, these moments I shared with Fluttershy were real... private. I had thought she understood this, being the pony that she was.
"Don't look so shocked," said Twilight, breaking the silence. "It's her job to report on you. We've been over this procedure."
I stood up quickly, making Twilight jump slightly. "This conversation is over," I said flatly, moving past her and towards the exit. "I need to take a walk."
I expected her to try and stop me but she merely stood by and watched with that same curious expression. "Very well," she called after me. "Give my question into your purpose some thought seeing as now we understand what drives you."
I continued onward, ignoring her snide comments and made my way out of her castle and back towards Ponyville.
***
