Chapters One Of Those Days
By: Astrobrony
Sugarcube Corner. Ponyville’s premier bakery and sweets shop. Inside, Pinkie Pie was finishing up her morning tasks in advance of opening the store for the day. Pinkie considered herself fortunate to work in a place like this. She always liked meeting new ponies, and there was no shortage new ponies to meet at Sugarcube Corner.
Pinkie finished setting up the cake display in the store window. The only thing left for her to do was to unlock the front door and officially open the store for the day. As Pinkie opened the store, she couldn’t help but wonder what new ponies she’ll meet today.
Moments after opening the store, her first customer walked in. She was an elderly earth pony, a little older than Granny Smith it seemed like. She wore a large sweater and thick, oversized glasses.
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!” Pinkie smiled at the newcomer. “How may I help you?”
“Goodness!” the elderly pony exclaimed. “Have I really found Sugarcube Corner? I’ve been looking everywhere for this place.”
“Today’s your lucky day then, because you found it!” Pinkie grinned. “What can I do for you?”
“I’d like to place an order for a formal suit for my husband,” the customer replied.
Pinkie blinked. Did the customer just order a suit? “I’m sorry. What did you say?”
The customer laid out a sheet of paper detailing the measurements for the suit she wanted.
“Here are his measurements. Is it possible to get this done by Friday? I want to surprise him for his birthday party.”
Pinkie chuckled politely. “I’m sorry ma’am, but we don’t make dresses at Sugarcube Corner.”
The customer looked at Pinkie in shock. Her expression suddenly turned darker. “What do you mean you don’t make dresses here?” she yelled. “I was told that Sugarcube Corner was known for their dresses!”
Pinkie was taken aback by the customer’s sudden angry tone, but she managed to reply calmly. “I don’t know who told you that, ma’am. If you need dresses, you need to go to Carousel Boutique.”
“Now that’s odd. Why would you tell me to go to one of your competitors?”
“We don’t compete with Carousel Boutique. They’re a fashion shop. We’re a bakery.”
The customer looked around and finally noticed all the baked goods on display in the store. “Oh! I was wondering why there were a lot of cakes and cookies around.”
“That’s what you would find in a bakery,” Pinkie noted. “At any rate, since you’re here. How about we try to find the right cake for your husband’s birthday party?” she smiled.
The customer chuckled. “Oh heavens, no! I would never subject my husband into eating these bland pieces of cardboard you call a cake!”
While on the outside Pinkie kept smiling innocently, inside her heart felt as if it shattered into a million pieces.
“Have a nice day!” the customer waved politely as she exited the store.
After she was gone, Pinkie sighed to herself. Today was going to be one of those days, wasn’t it?
~~~~~
The day continued rather routinely for Pinkie, despite that first customer of the day. Even so, Pinkie didn’t let that customer ruin her day. Today was Cupcake Day at Sugarcube Corner, which meant that the front display case was packed with different types of cupcakes. Pinkie was busy refilling an empty cupcake tray when a light blue unicorn mare with a purple mane entered the store.
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?”
“I have a question. What do you put in your cupcakes?” the customer asked.
“That depends, which one would you like.”
“I’m just looking for something without any lemons. I. Hate. Lemons.”
“We can definitely take care of that.” Pinkie pulled out a special menu pamphlet for this circumstance. It lists all the different cupcakes offered at the store, as well as listing the ingredients in case ponies needed to know. She displayed the pamphlet to the customer. “This menu has a list of all the ingredients in each one of our cupcakes.”
The customer took a look at the menu. After a short while, she put her hoof down and pointed at one particular cupcake. “I want this one,” she said definitively.
Pinkie looked to see the customer had chosen the Sunshine Delight special. Unfortunately, the Sunshine Delight was the store’s special lemon-based variety. Pinkie looked to see that the ingredients lists for the Sunshine Delight clearly included lemons on the pamphlet the customer was looking at.
“Are you sure about that? The Sunshine Delight has a lot of lemons in it.” Pinkie pointed out.
“I said I want this one!” the customer insisted.
“But I thought you said you didn’t want anything with lemons in it.”
“I know what I said. Just give me this cupcake already!”
Pinkie looked around nervously. “We do have other cupcakes that don’t have lemons in them. I can suggest a couple of them if you want.”
The customer frowned. “I said I want this one! Give it to me or else I sue this establishment for refusal of service!”
Pinkie yelped and went to fetch the cupcake for the customer. “All right ma’am. Here’s your cupcake.” she said, handing the lemon cupcake to the customer. “That’ll be 3 bits.”
The customer paid for the cupcake and left the store in a huff. Pinkie was left confused as she carried the lemon cupcake out of the store.
“What the hay was up with her?” Pinkie wondered.
~~~~~
“Hello, and welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted her new customer, a silver colored Pegasus stallion with a windswept black mane.
“Where are the bread donuts?” he asked.
Pinkie blinked in confusion. She was familiar with all of Sugarcube Corner’s offerings, but she never had to deal with anything called ‘bread donuts’ before
“I’m sorry sir,” Pinkie apologized. “I don’t think I understood what you said. Did you say bread donuts?”
The customer nodded. “Yes. Bread donuts! Where are they?”
Pinkie scratched her head. What the hay was this guy talking about? “Sir? The only donuts we have here are made from yeast.”
“No, no, NO!” he shouted. “Bread donuts! Do you even know what you bake in your own freaking store! BREAD DONUTS!”
“I’m sorry, but I’m not familiar with any bread donuts.”
The customer stormed off grumbling to himself and made it about ten feet. He scrutinized the store’s breakfast display case. After a short while, he found what he was looking for.
“What are you, blind? Look! Here they are!” he shouted.
Pinkie went over to see what the customer was pointing to. It was indeed a ring shaped bread product.
Pinkie groaned. “Sir, they’re not called ‘bread donuts’. Those are bagels.”
A sudden sense or realization came over the customer. He facehoofed and chuckled innocently. “Ooooh! So that’s what bagels are! I thought bagels were shaped like a crescent moon.”
“I think you’re talking about a croissant,” Pinkie pointed out.
“Geez, when did baking bread get so fancy?” the customer wondered.
“The world may never know,” Pinkie snarked.
~~~~~
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted her next customer, a younger blue unicorn mare with an orange colored mane.
“I’d like some cookies please,” the customer asked.
Pinkie smiled. “No problem! Just let me know what kind you want and I’ll take care of it.” She gave the customer the store’s cookie menu pamphlet. The customer looked at the menu in awe.
“Oh wow! That’s a lot of cookies,” she remarked.
“We have a lot of specialty cookies that you can only find here.” Pinkie explained. “I’ll be glad to let you know what’s in each one.”
“Thanks a lot. Some of these cookies look very complicated. Like this one!” The customer pointed at one of the cookies on the menu. “What’s a peanut butter cookie?
Pinkie paused for a few moments in disbelief. The concept seemed simple enough to her. At any rate, she answered the customer’s question. “…..It’s a cookie with peanut butter in it.” Pinkie stated matter-of-factly.
The customer nodded slowly. “Ok then. What about the chocolate chip cookie? What’s that?”
“……..It’s a cookie with chocolate chips in it.”
“What’s the difference between the two?”
Pinkie felt like screaming in exasperation over the simple question. She managed to calm herself down to answer the question. “A chocolate chip cookie has chocolate chips and no peanut butter, and a peanut butter cookie has peanut butter and no chocolate.”
“That’s too confusing!” the customer groaned.
Pinkie’s face twisted in bewilderment for a few seconds. Again, she straightened herself out, this time to offer a suggestion. “Here’s an idea. How about I give you one of each.”
With that, Pinkie took out one peanut butter cookie and one chocolate chip cookie and laid it on the counter. The customer leaned in closer to scrutinize each cookie.
“So how do I know which one doesn’t have raisins?” the customer asked.
This time, Pinkie let out a very audible groan. She spent the next 30 minutes explaining to the customer the difference between peanut butter cookies, chocolate chip cookies, and raisin cookies. When it was all said and done, the customer wound up buying a blueberry muffin.
~~~~~
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted her next customer, a red Pegasus mare with a silver mane. With all the crazy customers she’s gotten today, it was a miracle she kept up her usual bubbly tone. But even that was beginning to waver a bit. Nevertheless, she kept a positive attitude as she dealt with this customer.
“Hey, do you sell any bananas?” the customer asked.
“Well, we do have bananas,” Pinkie answered. “However, we need them to make our cakes, muffins, smoothies and stuff”.
The customer smiled. “Great! How much for one? I’m in a hurry!”
Pinkie smiled nervously. “Sorry, but we can’t sell them to you. We need them. There is a farmer’s market close by. If you go there, they can sell you bananas.”
The customer went quiet for a moment, seemingly deep in thought. “Okay… then how much for a banana smoothie?”
“It’s 5 bits for a medium, and 6 bits for a large.”
“Okay… can I get a banana smoothie, but can you not ‘smoothie’ it?”
Pinkie fell to the ground in astonishment. She wound up spending the next five minutes explaining the concept of a smoothie to the customer.
~~~~~
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted her next customer, a yellow earth stallion with a striped white and blue mane.
“Can I have a slice of fruit pie?” the customer asked.
“Yes you can!” Pinkie nodded. “You can have it either hot or cold.”
“Cold?” the customer asked. “Like, how cold?”
Pinkie took a long deep breath to calm herself down before answering. “Refrigerated. Not quite frozen, just cold.”
“Ah, okay. I’ll grab one of those thanks.”
“Sure, that’ll be 5 bits.”
The customer handed Pinkie the money, and in return the customer took his slice of pie. “Wow! This is really cold!”
“Sorry. Like I said, the cold pies are put in the refrigerator. The hot pies are put in the oven.”
The customer chuckled. “When you said ‘cold’ I thought you meant, like, ‘sort of warm.'”
“Well, we all make mistakes like that,” Pinkie chuckled. She was relieved that this customer wasn’t as bad as the others this day.
The customer started to make his way out of the door. “Yeah. I mean it’s not your fault you mixed it up. You mares have absolutely no sense when it comes to cooking,” he grinned.
Pinkie stopped chuckling as stood stiff as a statue while the customer exited the store. She felt the urge to say something, ANYTHING to tell that jerk of a stallion off. But by the time she gathered the nerve, he was long gone.
Left alone, she sighed in exhaustion. These customers were getting on her last nerves, and it just kept getting worse! She was a pony who loved meeting new faces. But now, she didn’t really want to meet anypony else today. She just wanted to close the store, go back to bed, and forget today ever happened. However, Mr. and Mrs. Cake depended on her to keep the store going strong. Even if it meant dealing with the kind of stuff she’s dealt with today.
Pinkie continued sulking as the store’s front door jingled open. This time it was a familiar face who entered Sugarcube Corner. It was Ponyville’s premiere Apple farmer and Pinkie’s dear friend, Applejack. The farmer was carrying two bushels of apples on her back.
“Howdy Pinkie! Here’s this week Apple delivery for y’all!” Applejack smiled, putting the bushels down on the counter.
“That’s great. Thanks AJ.” Pinkie sighed sadly.
Applejack was quick to notice Pinkie was not her usual Pinkie self at the moment. “Somethin’ the matter, sugarcube?”
“I’ve been having a bad day today. It’s kinda getting me down.” Pinkie told her.
“Sorry to hear that. How weird was today?”
“It was super weird!” Pinkie explained. “There was this pony who didn’t know the difference between peanut butter, chocolate chips, and raisins. There was another customer who ordered a banana smoothie WITHOUT the smoothie. There was this lady who thought this was Carousel Boutique! And then this other lady who ordered a lemon cupcake even though she doesn’t like lemons!”
Applejack cringed at the explanation. “Yikes! Sounds like today was a whopper!”
Pinkie nodded. “And then there was this stallion who said mares can’t cook.”
Applejack’s expression darkened. “He said what now?”
“Don’t worry about him, AJ. He’s not worth it.” Pinkie said, calming the farmpony down from causing that jerk physical harm, even if part of her felt he somewhat deserved it. “It’s just that, that guy was the last straw on a really bad day.”
AJ gave Pinkie a gentle hug. “Trust me, sugarcube. Ah’ve been there. Ah know that feeling.”
“Thanks AJ,” Pinkie smiled.
Before Applejack could say anything else, the store’s front door slammed opened. The two ponies looked to see a very angry light blue unicorn mare huffing into the store. Pinkie gulped as she recognized this pony as the lemon cupcake lady from earlier.
“I want my money back!” the customer screamed.
“Hold on ma’am! What’s the problem?” Pinkie asked.
“I’ll tell you what the problem is. I ordered a cupcake and I specifically said no lemons in it. Guess what? It had lemons!!!”
“If I remember correctly," Pinkie tried to explain, "I tried to tell you that cupcake you ordered had lemons but you threatened the store to give you one.”
“You think that’s my problem?!?” the customer scoffed. “Look. Here’s my receipt. Give me my refund!”
Pinkie sighed. “Ok, look. I’ll tell you what I’ll do. Just give me the cupcake back, and I’ll give you the refund.”
“I already ate it,” the customer said matter-of-factly.
Both Pinkie and Applejack blinked in disbelief.
“You ate it?” Applejack asked, trying to confirm she wasn’t hearing things.
The customer nodded. “Yes. I ate it and I wasn’t satisfied. I want a refund.”
Pinkie sighed. “I’m sorry ma’am. But I can’t refund your money if you already ate the cupcake…”
Any other words Pinkie tried to say were cut off as the customer got in Pinkie’s now frightened face.
“Listen, you worthless excuse of a dirt pony” the customer yelled. “Don’t get smart with me! I’m a lawyer and I know my rights! And if you don’t give me my money back, I’m not only going to sue this establishment for refusal of service, but I'll sue the living daylights out of YOU and your pathetic existence for discrimination!!!”
Pinkie was now on the verge of tears. She began to reach for the cash register when Applejack separated them.
“Hold up a second, partner! Lemme see that receipt there.” Applejack said.
The customer frowned and handed the receipt over. Applejack took a few seconds to look the small piece of paper over. “Ma’am, the store’s return policy is clearly printed on yer receipt. They cannot take back goods that has already been used, or in this case, eaten.”
“But–” the customer tried to cut in.
“FURTHERMORE,” Applejack continued. “When you made yer transaction here, you accepted the store’s return policy as a contract that you agreed to abide by.”
“I–”
“And by BLATANTLY trying to dodge this contract, nopony's ever gonna rule in yer favor. As a lawyer, shouldn't you have known that?”
“But I–”
“FINALLY, the simple act of coming up to a store and threatening them to unjustly hand you money would really be closer to an attempted robbery by you than refusal of service by her!”
The customer fell silent. Her anger was now replaced with fear. Applejack slowly walked towards the customer, backing her into a corner.
“If you really were a lawyer,” Applejack continued in a low tone. “You would be fully aware of all that. And by claiming to be a lawyer when you are clearly NOT, yer committing fraud. Between that and the attempted robbery, we can call the police right now and have you arrested for both .”
“I’m… I’m sorry! I won't do anything. I promise!” the customer squeaked out.
Applejack gave the customer a deep, threatening glare. The customer cowered and braced herself, fearing for her life. Then suddenly, Applejack backed off and smiled a friendly smile. “Glad to see we got everything straightened out!” the cowpony grinned.
The customer, now white as a ghost, scrambled back to her hooves and ran out the store.
“Y’all come back now, ya hear!” Applejack called out to the fleeing customer. “That felt good!” she sighed to herself.
Seconds later, Pinkie ran over to Applejack and gave her a huge hug.
“AJ, that was amazing!” Pinkie beamed. “How did you do that?”
“Ah’ve dealt with idiots like that all the time at the Farmer’s Market.” Applejack admitted.
“Man, I could have used a little of that earlier today. I thought I was gonna go out of my mind!”
“Listen, sugarcube. Ah know there are some customers out there that make you wanna pull yer hair out. But sometimes they mean well and are genuinely confused. But othertimes, you get idiots like that lemon lady, or that stallion chauvinist.”
“Tell me about it.”
“Despite that, most of the ponies you deal with everyday weren’t like that at all, are they?”
Pinkie chuckled. “No, they aren’t.”
“Well, there ya go! Ya can’t let a few ponies ruin your day like that, Pinkie.”
“I know, AJ. Today’s just been one of those days, you know?”
“Ah know, sugarcube. It happens to the best of us.”
At that moment, the store’s front door jingled open. The two turned to see a very freaked-out Apple Bloom enter the store.
“Applejack!” Apple Bloom shouted in alarm. “Ya haveta get back to the farm right now! Rainbow Dash broke into the cider storage barn again!”
Applejack’s face fell in horror. “Ah thought we changed those locks!”
“We did! But she still broke in anyway!”
“Ah’m sorry, Pinkie. But Ah gotta go!”
Pinkie didn’t even have time to wave goodbye as Applejack and Apple Bloom rushed back to Sweet Apple Acres to save their cider supply. Pinkie couldn’t help but chuckle. Today’s just been one of those days.
Author's Note
This story was inspired from the number of customer service horror stories I've heard and read about over the years. Also, I'm writing this as a little writing exercise to get back into the swing of things, and yes there will be more chapters. Many MANY more chapters. There's no shortage of bad customer stories out there after all.
Feel free to comment, and thanks for reading!
Celestia’s sun ushered in another beautiful day, and the ponies of Ponyville were finishing up their morning tasks. At Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie was humming a song to herself as she opened up the store. She couldn’t wait to meet the new ponies this day would bring. Yesterday had been a really odd day, but she was sure that today would be different. Besides, the sooner she was able to open the store and meet new ponies, the sooner she could put yesterday behind her.
Pinkie was wiping down the front counter when she heard the store’s front door jingle open. She was quick to recognize the green unicorn who entered the store.
“Lyra!” Pinkie smiled. “Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you today?”
“I’ll just have a chocolate milkshake, please?” Lyra smiled back.
“Sure thing. I’ll have that out in just a minute.” Pinkie made her way over to the milkshake station and began to prepare Lyra’s order. “So how’s life treating you, lately?” she asked while she prepared the drink.
Lyra shrugged. “Pretty good, to be honest. Octavia’s planning a new concert in Las Pegasus and she wants me to join her.”
“Sounds like a great opportunity!”
“How are things with you, Pinkie?”
Pinkie chuckled. “Well, yesterday was a bit of a doozy. You see…”
At that moment, a yellow earth pony mare with a black mane entered the store in a rush. She went up to the counter and cut in front of Lyra, shoving the startled unicorn aside.
“Can I have a cherry cupcake, please? I’m in a hurry.” the customer asked.
“Hey! Wait your turn, lady!” Lyra frowned.
“It’s ok. I'll be a quick second. I won’t take long,” the customer smiled to the furious green unicorn.
Pinkie shook her head. The last time she had to deal with somepony cutting in line at the store, Fluttershy became so mad she chased away the entire line. Ever since then she tried her best to dissuade ponies from cutting in line, even if they were in a hurry. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but you’re going to have to wait until I’m done with this customer before I can help you out.” Pinkie replied to the customer.
“But I just want one cupcake! Can’t you check me out quick?” The customer argued, ignoring the persistent death glare Lyra was giving her.
“I can’t help you out right now because I’m not finished helping out this customer," Pinkie explained again. "If you just give me a quick moment to finish up here, I'll ring up your cupcakes next.”
“Well, SOME stores let you check out quickly like that…” the customer pointed out.
Pinkie calmed her nerves and tried to explain it further. “Ma’am, I can’t cancel an ongoing order. It’s not fair to this customer. She was here before you, and I already started her order when you walked up.”
The customer scratched the back of her head. “So what you’re telling me is that if I had gotten here before her, you would have rang me up first?”
“Yes, ma’am," Lyra answered, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "It’s called ‘standing in line’. You should try it sometime.”
As much as the customer wanted to reply, she couldn't. With a deep frown, she decided to cooperate under protest. She took her place in line behind Lyra. "I can't believe this," she grumbled. "What kind of place makes you wait for one stinking cupcake?"
"Well, I have to wait for my milkshake to get ready!" Lyra pointed out.
The customer blinked in surprise. "Wait.... this place sells milkshakes, too?"
Lyra looked at the customer in disbelief. "Yes, they do," she answered slowly. "That's what I ordered. Didn't you notice Pinkie making it while you were here?"
The customer turned back to Pinkie in alarm. "I change my mind! Cancel my cupcake. I'll have a milkshake, instead."
"Okie dokie loki," Pinkie replied carefully. "I'll get started as soon as I'm done with this first order."
"That's ok, I'll wait," the customer smiled.
"OH COME ON!!!" Lyra shouted in frustration.
~~~~~
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie shouted. She quickly noticed the customer was an indigo unicorn stallion with a sandy colored mane. She recognized this pony from a few days ago. He had placed a special strawberry cake order for his daughter’s Cute-cenera.
“Oh! Mr. Saturn Star! Welcome back!” Pinkie smiled.
“Thanks. I’m here to pick up my order.”
“No problem!” Pinkie smiled. “Give me just a moment to get it out.” Pinkie went to the back of the store in search of the order. A few seconds later, she came back to the front counter, holding a pink cake box with the Strawberry Surprise cake inside.
“Here you go! Your cake is ready!” Pinkie smiled.
Pinkie put the cake on the counter. The customer took a few moments to inspect the cake inside. His face fell into confusion as he looked over his order “Wait a second. This is not my cake!” he frowned.
Pinkie cringed. “Uh oh. I’m sorry about that,” Pinkie told him. “Let me see what went wrong. Do you have your copy of your order sheet?”
After a few seconds of searching, he took out the order sheet and placed it onto the counter top. The piece of paper even included a sample picture of the cake that was ordered. He pointed out the picture to Pinkie. “Look! The cake is supposed to look like this! That cake looks nothing like it!”
“So the cake is a lie, then?” Pinkie smiled innocently.
The customer’s frown grew deeper in response.
Pinkie’s innocent smile turned into a nervous chuckle. “Sorry about that, sir. Just thought I’d try to lighten the mood.”
“Look,” the customer groaned. “Cut the comedy. Just fix my order!”
“Ok, let me just look over the order sheet.” Pinkie took a good look at the sheet of paper, and the cake in question. The order numbers, names, and cake variety on both matched. Pinkie also noticed that the cake also matched the sample picture. In order to get a final confirmation, she also took out Sugarcube Corner’s master cake book that customers choose their orders from in the first place. Everything seemed to point to the same conclusion.
“I don't see a problem here. Everything seems in order.”
The customer’s face fell in disbelief. “Are you kidding me?!?”
“I have an idea. Let's break things down to see where things might have gone wrong. Do you remember what the cake you ordered look like?”
He leafed through the cake book. “Here! It looks like this cake in the book. That other cake looks like crap!”
Pinkie looked at the cake in the book. It was the Strawberry Surprise, just like what was written down on his order sheet. She then took another look at the cake itself. It was indeed the Strawberry Surprise. Pinkie finally sighed in exasperation. “Sir, that’s the same cake.”
“No, it’s not! What do I look like, an idiot? Just wait until my wife hears about this. She’ll tear this store down with her own bare hooves!”
Pinkie gulped. The last thing she wanted to deal with was an even angrier customer. “Sir? Everything we have here tells me this order is correct.”
The customer shook his head. "I know for a fact that my wife will have your neck when she finds out that you ruined our daughter's Cute-cenera!"
Just then, a dark orange unicorn mare with a blue mane entered the store.
“Sweetie?” The mare called out. “Is everything all right in here?”
The customer gave Pinkie a menacing smirk. He then turned back to his wife. “Take a look at this cake, honey! What do you think of it?”
The mare approached the counter with some uncertainty and laid her eyes on the cake.
“Oh! It’s beautiful! This looks amazing!” she smiled excitedly.
The customer’s face fell in confusion. “It does?”
“Yes! This was the cake we ordered, was it not?” she asked.
The husband started to turn a deep shade of red. "Yeah, I guess it was."
Pinkie gave the wife a warm smile. “Well, I sure am glad that everything worked out! That’ll be 25 bits.”
The wife gave Pinkie the money, took the cake off the counter, and waved happily as she left the store. The husband simply watched the exchange take place in shock.
“Thanks for shopping with us!” Pinkie waved to the wife.
The wife smiled back. “It was our pleasure! And may Celestia’s sun bless you on this fine day.”
The wife left the store, leaving the stunned husband behind.
“Sooo… what was that about your wife getting angry?” Pinkie asked innocently, trying to hide her urge to smirk at the stallion.
“Well… when she does get angry, it’s not a pretty sight!” he insisted.
~~~~~
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted her next customer, a young dark yellow pegasus mare with a blond mane.
The customer looked around confused. “So, um, like… do you have iced coffee here?”
“We do have a small selection of iced coffee here,” Pinkie told her.
“Ok, so can you… you know… give me an iced coffee? But could you… like… warm it up?”
“…… What?”
“You know, the iced coffee? Can you make it hot?”
“Well…” Pinkie began to point out. “We can make you a regular cup of coffee.”
The customer blinked in realization. She sunk behind the counter in embarrassment. “…Oh…”
Pinkie did her best to stifle a laugh. “One hot coffee, coming up!” she smiled.
~~~~~
The mid-afternoon hours were the busiest times for Sugarcube Corner, thanks to the rush of ponies coming home from work and foals coming home from school. It was during this time that Sugarcube Corner ran their special milkshake happy hour special, where all the milkshakes were five for 20 bits as advertised by the giant banner inside the store. Of course, if ponies didn't want the full five milkshakes, they were still able to get a milkshake at four bits each. The line stretched out the door of ponies ready to take advantage of the special sale. Usually, the line moved rather efficiently, but today the line had stalled out as a brown pegasus stallion with and orange mane was stuck in the middle of an argument with Pinkie Pie. Behind the customer, Rainbow Dash continued waiting, her patience running dangerously thin as she looked on.
“Look,” the customer angrily shouted. “Let me tell you this one more freaking time. I don’t want the full five milkshakes for 20 bits. I only want two at the sale price!”
Pinkie, fully worn out by the argument, nodded. “I know sir, and I keep telling you that it comes out to eight bits.”
“That’s too much! I want the sale price!”
“Eight bits is the sale price.”
“No, it’s not! I’m not moving until I get the sale price!”
Enough was enough. Rainbow Dash stepped in to set the record straight. “What is wrong with you?!?” she shouted to the customer. “It’s four bits per milkshakes! That’s what you’re paying”
“And how do you figure that?” the customer asked back.
Rainbow Dash didn’t bother to mask her annoyance with the stallion as she explained. “Five milkshakes at four bits each is 20 bits. That makes each milkshake four bits each. So if each milkshake is four bits each, than two milkshakes is eight bits total.”
The customer face twisted in anger. “No!!! That's too much!!! What do you think I am? Stupid?”
“Eeyup!” Big Macintosh angrily answered from his spot in line behind Rainbow Dash.
The customer tried to say something else, but quickly noticed the angry stares pointed his way from a score of impatient customers. Recognizing that he was about to fight a losing battle, he gave up. He paid the eight bits, took his milkshakes and left in a huff.
“Finally!” Rainbow Dash said as she reached the front counter. “What the hay was his problem?”
Pinkie smiled. "Let's just say that there's plenty more where he came from!”
~~~~~
The mid-afternoon rush came and went without any further incidents, and things had finally slowed down at Sugarcube Corner as the sun started to get low in the sky. Pinkie was restocking the candy jars when the store's front door jingled open. A magenta earth pony mare with a bun-styled blue mane entered the store.
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted the customer.
“I’d like two cinnamon buns,” the customer ordered.
“Sure thing. That’ll be nine bits.”
The customer smiled smugly. “Actually, I’m the owner’s wife. I always get free stuff here.”
Pinkie blinked in confusion. “Excuse me?”
The customer’s smug expression persisted. “Yes. My husband owns this place. But you probably didn’t know that since it looks like you’re new here. It’s ok, though. I’ll keep it a secret between us. My husband doesn’t need to know.”
Pinkie stared in disbelief. Was this lady seriously trying to pull this off? Pinkie simply shook her head. “I’m sorry ma’am, but I’m afraid I can’t do that.”
The customer’s expression fell quickly into anger. She grabbed one of the candy jars on the counter and smashed it on the ground. Shards of glass and broken lollipops scattered across the floor. Pinkie shrieked in horror at the sudden escalation of violence.
“LISTEN, YOU GLUESTICK!” the customer shouted. “GIVE ME MY FOOD, OR ELSE!!!”
Normally, Pinkie would try to reason with an uncooperative customer. However, she was very confident that this customer was trying to scam her into giving her some free food. Between that, her insulting tone, and the now broken candy jar, Pinkie became very angry.
“NO, I WON’T GIVE YOU FREE FOOD!” Pinkie shouted back. “YOU ARE NOT THE OWNER’S WIFE AND YOU DESTROYED STORE PROPERTY!”
"YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS!"
"YOU STARTED IT!"
The shouting got to the point where Mr. and Mrs. Cake had to emerge from the back of the store.
“What’s going on out here?” Mrs. Cake asked.
Mr. Cake had to watch his step as he noticed the broken jar. "What happened to the candy jar?"
The customer approached the Cakes. “Are you the manager?”
“Well…” Mr. Cake started to explain. He was however cut off by the ranting customer.
“You need to fire that gluestick at the register right now. She threw this jar at me!”
“I did WHAT?!?” Pinkie shouted in disbelief.
"Pinkie would never do that!" Mrs. Cake gasped.
Mr. Cake turned to the customer. Even though he was confident Pinkie was not responsible for the jar, he still needed to get both sides of the story. "What happened out here, ma'am?"
“I tried to order my food, but that gluestick was rude and completely unfriendly to me!"
Mrs. Cake cringed at the customer's continued use of the slur. "Ma'am? I don't think that word is very appropriate..."
"You better get rid of her right now!" the customer continued. "My husband owns this place. I don’t want to tell him what happened to me!”
The Cakes both stood frozen in stunned shock for a few seconds.
“I'm sorry. Did you say your husband owns this store?” Mrs. Cake asked in disbelief.
“Yes he does!” The customer nodded defiantly.
It was a sight that not many ponies ever saw, and some ponies thought that it wasn’t even possible. For the first time as far as many can remember, Mr. and Mrs. Cake became outright furious.
Mr. Cake slowly stepped forward, looking straight at the customer through unblinking eyes. “Ma’am? My name is Carrot Cake and this is my wife Cup Cake. We own and operate Sugarcube Corner!”
The customer’s face fell in horror. Mrs. Cake got into the customer’s face. “And that gluestick that you referred to over there is like a daughter to us. And we, as well as the entire town of Ponyville, trust her with our lives!”
The customer looked at the angry faces of Mr. and Mrs. Cake, then to Pinkie who was also steaming mad. She tried to think on her hooves for a way out of the problem she created.
“Uh…. Hey cousin!!!” She hugged Pinkie playfully. “How have you been? I was just playing a prank back there. No biggie, right?” She forced an innocent smile.
Nopony smiled back.
The customer sighed in defeat. “I’m not getting my cinnamon bun, aren’t I?”
Author's Note
I appreciate the nice reception that this story has gotten so far. Although I'll just point out that if you find a spelling error, you can just PM me rather than posting it as a comment. I mean, if that's all right with you guys, that is.
Again, thanks for reading and I'll see you soon!
It was another beautiful Ponyville morning, and its citizens were starting to trickle into the streets to begin their day. At Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie Pie finished up the task of opening the store with a sense of trepidation. The last two days had been rather… odd. While there had been the usual mix of new and familiar faces at the store, there had also been a very interesting mix of rude, weird, or just flat out confused ponies. As she unlocked the front door and took her place behind the counter, she wondered what kind of ponies she would meet today.
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie smiled.
“I’ll have a hot chocolate, extra hot please?”
“No problem! That’ll be two bits!”
After the sale was made, Pinkie went over to the hot chocolate machine and prepared the customer’s drink. She left the cup in the machine a few seconds longer than normal in order to get the requested temperature of the drink just right. Satisfied, she carefully placed the cup on the front counter, making sure she didn’t spill the hot contents on her foreleg.
“Here you are, ma’am. One hot chocolate!” Pinkie chirped happily.
The customer took hold of the cup. A deep frown formed on her face as she held it. “Hey! I ordered extra hot! This is not extra hot!”
Pinkie took a deep breath to calm herself. First customer of the day and things had already gone south. She put her feelings aside and addressed the customer. “I promise you, ma’am. It's extra hot, just like you asked for. I can’t make it any hotter.”
“It doesn’t even feel hot!” the customer insisted.
“That’s because the cup is made so that you don’t burn yourself when you hold it,” Pinkie explained.
“I don’t care. I want it extra hot. Make it again!”
Pinkie sighed in annoyance. “Ma’am, you won’t know for sure if it’s extra hot or not if you haven’t even drank it yet. Go ahead and give it a taste. Be careful though, it’s very hot.”
The customer gave Pinkie an annoyed frown and put the cup to her lips, giving the drink a small taste test. The liquid barely crept into her mouth when her eyes shot open in alarm. She shrieked out loudly and immediately put the cup down on the counter.
“Too... hot…” the customer panted.
“I tried to warn you, ma’am,” Pinkie shrugged.
“Why didn’t you tell me?!?” the customer shouted angrily.
“I did. You ordered an extra hot chocolate, remember?”
“Yes, I did. But I was... I mean, you were… That wasn’t what… I didn’t mean…. UGH!!!” The customer shouted out in frustration. She grabbed her drink and huffed out of the store. “I hate Mondays!” she exclaimed as she exited.
“It’s Wednesday,” Pinkie remarked to herself.
~~~~~
The morning hours came and went without much further fanfare, much to Pinkie’s relief. Business had been steady, but not too busy. For a work day, it was about as ideal as it could get. She was in the middle of putting away the breakfast displays for the day when Mrs. Cake came from the kitchen.
“Pinkie?” Mrs. Cake asked, “Did our strawberry delivery come in yet?”
“Not yet. Is something wrong?”
Mrs. Cake nodded. “We just ran out of strawberries.”
Pinkie groaned. “That’s convenient! And just before the lunch rush too.”
“I know. Just shout out when the strawberry delivery comes in.”
Mrs. Cake went back to her duties in the back of the store. Pinkie, meanwhile, started to look for a blank sheet of paper so she could make a sign telling customers that there were out of strawberries. Just as she began to make the sign, a familiar red maned pale Earth pony entered the store.
“Roseluck! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you today?”
“I’ll have a scoop of strawberry ice cream, please?” Roseluck smiled.
Pinkie couldn’t help but to cringe. “Sorry, we’re out of strawberries right now.”
Roseluck blinked in confusion. “What?!?”
“Yeah.” Pinkie mounted her handwritten sign that read ‘Out of Strawberries. Sorry :-( ' on the counter to emphasis her point.
“Darn! I really wanted strawberries today, too!” Roseluck sighed. “I guess I’ll take vanilla then.”
“All right! One vanilla ice cream. Anything else?”
“I’ll have a milk shake for Daisy.”
“What flavor?”
“Strawberry.”
Pinkie nervously pointed to the small sign she just mounted a few seconds ago.
Roseluck chuckled in embarrassment. “Oh, right! Sorry! Um… I think she’ll take chocolate.”
“One chocolate milk shake. Is that all?”
“One more thing. I definitely can’t forget about Lily’s strawberry sundae. She’d never forgive me if I forgot!”
Pinkie groaned and pointed to the sign one more time.
Roseluck blinked in realization. “Although, I think Lily will be fine with butter pecan instead,” she smiled innocently.
~~~~~
All things considered, there were hardly any complaints over the lack of strawberries at the store, and Pinkie definitely appreciated that. It also helped that most of the customers today were regulars at Sugarcube Corner. One such regular was the grey, wall-eyed pegasus who had just entered the store.
“Derpy! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How are you doing today?”
“I’m fine,” Derpy smiled. “What’s today’s muffin special?”
Pinkie pointed to the sign display that listed the store’s specials for the day and smiled. “Today’s special is the blueberry muffin.”
“Woohoo!” Derpy cheered. “I’ll take three.”
“Twelve bits, please?”
Derpy placed the bits on the counter. After ringing up the sale, Pinkie went to the muffin case to fetch the muffins. A short moment later, she placed the muffins on the counter.
“Here you go! Three blueberry muffins,” Pinkie smiled.
“Woohoo!” Derpy cheered.
Pinkie giggled at Derpy's cheerfulness. “I should have known you would have liked blueberries.”
“Woohoo!” Derpy cheered.
Now Pinkie paused in confusion. Why was Derpy cheering like this? What was provoking it? She circled back to what she said to garner such a reaction.
“Sooo… Enjoy your muffins!” Pinkie smiled.
Derpy said nothing. Her face turned stone serious.
“Enjoy your three muffins!” Pinkie corrected.
Still nothing from Derpy.
“Enjoy your blueberry muffins?”
“Woohoo!” Derpy cheered. Her smile was back in full force.
Pinkie blinked in surprise to the sudden cheer. “….Blueberry?” she tried again.
“Woohoo!” Derpy cheered again.
“Blueberry.”
“Woohoo!”
“Blue.”
“Woo!”
“Berry.”
“Hoo!”
“Blueberry.”
“Woohoo!”
"BluuuuuuuuuueBerrrrrrrrry."
"Woooooooooohooooooooo!"
“…..Berryblue!”
“Hoowoo!”
Pinkie put a hoof on her chin. A sly smirk appeared on her chin.
“Yrrebeulb!” Pinkie quickly shouted out.
“Ooohoow!” Derpy cheered back without missing a beat.
That was the last straw. Pinkie did the only thing she could do at that point. She gave Derpy a slow clap of appreciation. “You win this round, but I’ll get you next time!” she winked.
“I’ll be looking forward to it!” Derpy winked back. “By the way, what’s tomorrow’s muffin special?”
“Banana Nut,” Pinkie replied.
“Do do do-do do!” Derpy sang.
~~~~~
“Hello! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted her next set of customers, a married unicorn couple.
“Yes, I’d like two strawberry milkshakes please?” the auburn-maned yellow unicorn mare asked.
“Oh, sorry,” Pinkie cringed. “We’re out of strawberries at the moment.”
“What?!?” the female customer shouted in disbelief.
“Oh well,” the blonde navy blue unicorn stallion shrugged. “That’s just our bad luck then, huh?”
“No, it’s not!” the female customer told her husband. She turned to Pinkie, her face twisted in rage. “How can a place like this run out of strawberries? You don’t simply just run out of strawberries!”
Pinkie sighed. The lack of strawberry drama today was too good to be true. She tried to talk the wife down. “Our shipment of strawberries hasn’t come in yet. Believe me, we’re just as frustrated as you are. I know it sounds crazy but we do run out of things here from time to time.”
The wife slammed her hooves down on the counter. “That’s no excuse!” she growled. “Now I want my two strawberry milkshakes right now, or so help me I’ll…..” The wife trailed off into silence. Her face fell from rage to abstract horror. Her face turned sheet white as she looked at her own hooves.
“Ma’am? Are you all right?” Pinkie asked, also stunned by the sudden change of expression.
“….I’m sorry. I have to go.” The wife turned to leave the store, trotting to the door in a zombie-like trance.
“Honey?” the husband called out. “Is something wrong?”
The wife nodded very slowly. “I have become the very thing that I hate.”
With that, the wife left Sugarcube Corner, leaving her stunned husband behind. A few moments later, he turned to Pinkie. “I’ll take two cherry milkshakes. And could you add a chocolate cupcake? I think my wife may need one.”
“Take two cupcakes if you want!” Pinkie offered. “I think she may need all the help she can get.”
~~~~~
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted her next customer, a nervous dark green, orange-maned pegasus stallion.
“I’d like to order a three-tiered cake for my son’s birthday party,” the customer smiled weakly.
“Sure, no problem,” Pinkie smiled. She reached for a thick book on the counter and opened it to the customer. “We have a large variety of designs to choose from.”
“Okay. How long would it take you to make the cake?” the customer asked. He was starting to feel more anxious by the second.
“Well it depends,” Pinkie shrugged. “If you get a simple design, you might be able to pick it up by tomorrow afternoon. But if you get a more complicated design, it might take three to four days.”
His nervous expression got tighter as he heard the time frame of the order. “Oh no. That’s not gonna work for me.” He looked behind him as if somepony was out to get him.
“Why? What’s the problem?” Pinkie asked.
At that moment, a young orange-maned pegasus colt ran into the store.
“Dad, come on! The party starts in an hour!” the colt yelled at the customer.
The customer flinched as if he was caught red-hoofed. He turned to the colt and gave him a reassuring smile. “I’ll be right there son!”
“Ok, but you better hurry! Mom's starting to ask questions!” the son told him as he went back outside.
The customer turned back to Pinkie, scratching the back of his head in embarrassment. “Yeah… I’m on a bit of a deadline. Emphasis on dead .”
“Just out of curiosity, did you have anything planned for this party?” Pinkie asked.
“Not really. I completely forgot to plan it,” the customer admitted. He sunk his head on the counter in despair. “Ugh, my wife is gonna kill me. What am I gonna do?”
Pinkie gave the customer a reassuring pat on his shoulder. “Relax, sir. I got this.”
“How? There’s no way I can get a party planned in an hour!”
“Watch me,” Pinkie smirked. The customer watched her trot back to the back shelves behind the counter. She shoved some of the candies and pastries aside to reveal a wall-mounted button behind a glass cover. He saw a small sign above the assembly.
“In case of party emergency, break glass?” he read.
“That’s right!” Pinkie nodded. She had a determined look on her face. “We got ourselves a code blue!”
Pinkie broke the glass cover and hit the button. Blue flashing lights and loud sirens immediately rang out and flashed throughout the store. Metal shutters fell in front of the store windows, blocking out the natural sunlight. The customer crouched down in fear, not knowing what the noise was. He looked back up to check if the coast was clear. What he saw left him even more confused. Pinkie was suddenly decked out in a military uniform, decorated with balloon-shaped medals of honor. Where she got it and how she put it on so fast, he couldn't even begin to guess. She stood on the counter on her two back hooves with a deep scowl on her face.
“It is fatal to enter any war without the will to win it,” Pinkie remarked to herself.
After a few moments, Mr. and Mrs. Cake ran out from the back of the store.
“What’s going on?” Mrs. Cake asked. “Did somepony pull the alarm?”
Pinkie nodded. “We’ve got a party emergency! Code blue!” she shouted.
Mrs. Cake jaw dropped. “Code blue?!?”
“CODE BLUE!!!” Mr. Cake shouted. "Come on, dear! We have to move!"
The two immediately scrambled back to the kitchen in alarm. Pinkie gave a small smile. The Cakes knew their job in this circumstance. She just needed to wait for the cavalry to show up. A few short moments later, Twilight Sparkle burst through the doors, surrounded by Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity.
“We heard the party alarm, Pinkie. What’s going on?” Twilight asked.
“We’ve got a code blue, Twilight!” Pinkie shouted. “We need a level two reception in one hour! TEN-HUT!!!”
The five newcomers stood at attention at the command. They stood side by side, their bodies stiff and their chins held high. Pinkie began to march in front of her friends as she started to doll out instruction. The customer looked on silently, in awe as much as in confusion.
“All right, ladies! This is not a drill. We have a birthday party to plan and only one hour to plan it. Understand?”
“Yes, ma’am!” the five ponies shouted in unison.
Pinkie gave a small nod, satisfied at her troop’s enthusiasm. “Mr. and Mrs. Cake are on birthday cake detail in the kitchen. We need to handle the rest. Fluttershy. Applejack. You’re on refreshment detail.”
“Yes, ma’am!” the two ponies nodded.
“Rarity, you’ll be with me on the decorations!”
“I will not let you down,” Rarity gave Pinkie a salute.
“Twilight, you’re on the guest list. Rainbow Dash, you’re on invitation distribution. We need these things delivered in ten seconds flat.”
"Consider it done!" Twilight shouted.
"I was born ready!" Rainbow Dash licked her chops.
“All right, ladies. There’s a colt’s birthday party riding on this. And he’ll have the bestest party ever. Because who throws the bestest parties in Equestria?”
“We do, ma’am!” the five ponies shouted in unison.
“I can’t hear you!!!”
“WE DO, MA’AM!”
Pinkie gave the five ponies a quick glare. “So, what are you ladies standing around for? We got a party to plan! CHARGE!!!”
The five ponies scrambled around Sugarcube Corner to their positions. The customer watched as everypony in the store worked to get his son’s party ready.
“Don’t worry, sir,” Pinkie told the customer. “Everything’s under control. In one hour, your son will have the greatest birthday party Equestria has ever seen.”
“This… isn’t gonna cost extra, is it?”
Pinkie shrugged “Just 895 bits for the military detail. That’s not including the party favors helicopter, of course.”
The customer’s jaw dropped. “895 bits?!? That’s crazy!”
“Do you want to tell your wife you forgot to plan the party at all?” Pinkie asked.
The customer fell silent. The decision was painfully obvious. Anything would be better than to face his wife’s wrath.
“Exactly how much more is the helicopter?” he asked Pinkie.
Author's Note
Thanks for reading this chapter! Again, if you spot a grammatical error, you can just PM me and I'll fix it.
And for those of you wondering what Derpy was up to in the last part of her section, here you go.
See you next time!
Pinkie Pie opened Sugarcube Corner with an extra bounce in her step. She was proud of the emergency party she threw together in under one hour yesterday, saving both a young colt’s birthday and also saving a stallion from the wrath of an angry wife. For all the weirdness that had been going on this week, yesterday was a welcome change of pace.
She was putting a tray of pastries in the display counter when a familiar purple alicorn and baby dragon entered the store.
“Twilight! Spike! Good morning!” Pinkie smiled.
“Morning Pinkie!” Spike waved. “Two rocky road ice creams, please?”
Pinkie giggled. “I didn’t know you ate ice cream this early, Twilight.”
Twilight shook her head. “Actually, both ice creams are for Spike.”
“Yup! Twilight said I earned it after helping out with the party yesterday!” Spike said proudly. His work with the party favors turned out to be a huge asset to yesterday’s party.
“I’ll just have my usual poppy seed bagel and orange juice,” Twilight said, placing a few bits on the counter. After finishing the sale, Pinkie gathered the order and handed it over to Twilight.
“One poppy seed bagel and orange juice for you, and two ice creams for Spike. By the way, thanks a bunch for helping out with that party yesterday.”
“We were just happy to help,” Twilight smiled.
“How’s everypony doing, today?” Pinkie asked.
“Everyone’s fine,” Twilight reported, taking a bite out of her breakfast. “By the way, Fluttershy wanted me to let you know that she has a date today.”
Pinkie gasped in shock. “I didn’t even know she was going out!”
“She wasn’t, and it’s not really a date, so to speak." Twilight shrugged. "She met this stallion at the party yesterday and they decided to get together for lunch!”
“Wow! I hope things go well for her!”
Spike rolled his eyes. even though he was happy for the shy pony, he didn’t care about Fluttershy’s social life enough to join in on the conversation so he continued eating his ice cream while Twilight and Pinkie continued to chat. The baby dragon was the only one to notice a red Earth pony mare with a light pink mane enter the store.
“Pinkie?” Spike spoke out, “You’ve got a customer at the door!”
Pinkie and Twilight looked up and saw the customer approaching the counter.
“Oh! I’m sorry, ma’am!” Pinkie apologized. “Welcome to Sugarcube Corner. Sorry I missed you. I was just talking with my friend.”
“It’s all right,” the customer smiled. “I’ll wait until you two are done.”
Twilight shook her head and stepped aside. “Go right ahead. Pinkie and I can continue later.”
“In that case, how may I help you, ma’am?” Pinkie asked the customer.
The customer sighed and placed a photo of a sad filly on the counter. “I’m planning a party for Peppermint Petal.”
“A party for Peppermint Petal?” Pinkie asked. “What’s the purpose?”
“She’s been feeling pessimistic lately.”
Pinkie gasped. “Peppermint Petal is pessimistic?”
“Pray tell, what’s the problem?” Twilight inquired.
“She’s learning to play the piano,” the customer explained. “She’s pressing to be perfect, but her progress is rather plain.”
“Try saying that ten times fast!” Spike laughed.
“Spike! Stop playing around. This is positively serious!” Twilight frowned. She immediately turned back to address the customer. “So Peppermint Petal is pessimistic over her plain piano playing not being pitch perfect?”
“Precisely!” the customer nodded.
Twilight put a hoof to her chin. “If I may pose a particular premise for you to ponder; Perhaps Peppermint Petal is just panicking to be perfect at the piano and just needs to practice patience.”
The customer sighed. “I’ve pleaded that point, but it’s positively pointless. It’s part of Peppermint Petal’s personality to panic over particular practices she’s passionate about.”
“It’s always a prodigious problem when a pony pressures herself to be perfect that it pushes her into pessimism,” Twilight pondered out loud.
“I’m personally praying that Peppermint Petal will be pleased with the party. I’m prepared to pay anything!” the customer pleaded.
Pinkie Pie gave the customer a reassuring nod. “Don't worry. Pinkie Pie will personally plan the perfect party to perk Peppermint Petal to polish her plain piano playing permanently! And that is a Pinkie Promise that anypony can proudly post on their pantry. Period!”
The conversation was too much for Spike to handle. He had to shake the dizzying string of words he just heard out of his mind and step away for a moment.
“Anypony got a letter Q?” he asked.
~~~~~
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted her next customer in line, a snobbish looking older grey stallion.
“May I have a lettuce and tomato sandwich, please?” the customer asked in a snobbish voice.
“‘Course you can!” Pinkie smiled.
The customer shook his head and scoffed. “I cannot believe you just said that. As a language teacher, I believe I should tell your grammar is simply unacceptable.”
Pinkie was taken by surprise by the customer’s correction. “Uh… Sorry?” she shrugged innocently.
“There you go again!” the customer groaned. “Those are fragments, not complete sentences! How in Equestria did they let someone with such poor command on grammar work here? Any other teacher who come in here would be ashamed.”
The customer felt a polite tapping on his back from the pony behind him in line. He turned around and saw that it was Ponyville Schoolhouse’s teacher, Ms. Cheerilee, who called his attention, and she did not seem amused one bit.
“Well, I'm speaking in my capacity as a teacher. Trust me, we don’t care.” Cheerilee frowned.
~~~~~
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted her next customer, a sky blue unicorn mare with a short black mane.
“I’ll just have the croissant special and a banana smoothie, please? And you don’t need to bag it up. I’ll just enjoy it here.” the customer smiled.
Pinkie rang up her order. “Seven bits, please!”
The customer handed the bits over to Pinkie and received her order. She quietly made her way to one of the window-side tables and took out a book from her saddlebag. She placed the food on the counter, sat down, and began to read her book in peace. Meanwhile, Pinkie went back to the task of minding the store. Traffic had slowed considerably at the moment, and the customer was enjoying her book by the window, so the store was fairly quiet overall.
Pinkie started to reorganize the store’s new candy jar when she saw a pair of older colts enter the store. The both had scarves over their muzzles and looked as if they were hiding something behind their backs.
“All right! Everypony freeze! This is a stick up!” the older of the two colts shouted, pulling a pistol from his back and pointing it at Pinkie.
“Yeah! Give us all your money, you cow!” the younger colt shouted, pulling out a pistol of his own.
For a split second, Pinkie was paralyzed in absolute fear. She held her hooves up in compliance to the two young robbers. Her mind was racing at light speed. Why her? Why now? Why here? Why them? Was this it? Was she really going to die like this?
She then was able to take a closer look at the two pistols the colts were carrying. The pistols seemed to have gone through a really bad paint job to make them look black. The rushed paint job didn’t hide the pistol’s real neon plastic casing, or the clear liquid that was sloshing inside of them. Moreover, Pinkie recognized these particular pistols. She even had some on standby in her room for her summer parties.
Pinkie took a deep breath, lowered her hooves back down, and gave the two colts a very annoyed look. “Nice try, but those are just water pistols.”
The two colts stood confused for a few moments. The younger colt leaned into the older colt’s ear. “Dude, she’s not buying it!” Pinkie heard him whispered.
“Don’t panic! Stick to the plan!” the older colt whispered loudly back. He then turned Pinkie, trying very hard to maintain a menacing tone. “Of course this is real!” he shouted. “Now give us all your money!”
“And what if I don’t?” Pinkie challenged.
“Don’t mess with us!” the younger colt yelled. “You’ll be sorry!”
From the window-side table, Pinkie saw the customer at the window notice the standoff from her spot by the window. Her first reaction was deep shock over witnessing a crime happen right in front of her. To Pinkie’s surprise, the customer did not flee or panic in any way. Instead, her face began to twist into a deep-seething anger. The customer slammed her book from the table and marched towards the young robbers, tapping the older one on his shoulder.
The older colt turned around. “Don’t you dare touch me! You….” He trailed off as he instantly recognized the furious customer. The younger colt also turned around to see who was behind him and he also froze. The color from the two robbers drained from their faces.
“MOM?!?” the two colts shouted in unison.
“What. Are. You. Two. DOING?!?” she growled at her sons.
“I… I… We… I…” the older colt stammered, unable to explain what he was up to. Tears were starting to fall from the younger colt’s eyes.
“Apologize to this lady!” the mother ordered.
With a heavy mix of embarrassment, guilt and shame, the two colts turned back to Pinkie. The younger colt was weeping hard.
“We’re sorry,” they said together.
Before Pinkie could accept their apology, the mother grabbed her two sons by their ears and dragged them out of the store. “Come along, you two. You want to act tough? We’ll see how tough you are when you tell your father what you just tried to pull.”
Both colts’ eyes widened in fear.
“No! Please! Not that! I promise I’ll never do it again! I’ll be good I swear!” The older colt pleaded.
“I don’t want to be grounded for life!” the younger colt cried loudly.
Pinkie watched as the mother dragged the two colts out of the store and onto the Ponyville streets. She could only imagine the scene that awaited the two troublemakers when they got home.
~~~~~
Later on that afternoon, a purple unicorn stallion with a black mane and a large mustache entered the store. What struck this pony odd to Pinkie was that he was wearing a black velvet cape that would make the Great and Powerful Trixie herself jealous. At any rate, Pinkie greeted this strange pony.
“Hi! Welcome to…”
“…Sugarcube Corner?” the customer interrupted.
“My name is…”
“…Pinkie Pie?” he interrupted again.
“How may I…”
“…Help you?” he interrupted a third time.
Pinkie blinked in confusion a few times. She tried to speak again. “Why are you…”
“…finishing your sentences?”
“Don’t you know, that’s…”
“…kinda annoying?”
“Ok, check that. It’s…”
“REALLY annoying!”
“Are you actually going to…”
“…Order something?”
“Or are you just going to…”
“…Stand here and be a nuisance?”
Pinkie rubbed her forehead. This was giving her a headache. “You know, you have got to be the…
“…Most irritating pony in Equestria.”
“I mean, I’m not trying to…”
“…Sound mean or anything.”
“But I guess anypony who met you would…”
“…shove bushels of Poison Joke flowers down my throat.”
Pinkie gasped. “Did somepony actually…”
“…Do that to me?”
“My gosh! That’s…”
“…Absolutely horrible!”
“How would Poison Joke even…”
“…Effect somepony like me?”
“Did it just…”
“…Glue my mouth shut so I couldn’t speak?”
“Or did it just…”
“…Turn me into a parrot?”
Pinkie gasped again. “Did the poison joke…”
“…Really turn me into a parrot?”
“That must have been…”
“…Really weird!”
“How did you…”
“…Turn back into a pony, anyway?”
“Did Zecora just…”
“…Give me the Poison Joke remedy out of the goodness of her heart?”
“Or did you just…”
“…Annoy her by pecking on her head until she snapped.”
“Wow! That was a…”
“…Really dumb idea!”
“You don’t want to…”
“…Make a zebra like Zecora mad.”
“Or else she’ll…”
“…Make me clean out her latrine with my tongue?”
“Yuck! I can’t believe she…”
“…Made me do that!”
“Although to be fair, you were…”
“…Kinda asking for it?” A sudden thought suddenly formed in the customer’s head.
“You know something?” he told Pinkie, “I think you…”
“…Might have a point there?” Pinkie finished.
“I think it’s clear that I have a…”
“Slightly major personality issue?”
“If you don’t mind, I’ll just order a….”
“…Triple scoop ice cream sundae with extra chocolate syrup that you’ll eat alone in the corner and wonder exactly where your life went wrong?”
“Bingo!” the customer smiled.
“That’ll be four bits,” Pinkie smiled politely.
~~~~~
"Welcome to Suguarcube Corner! How may I help you?" Pinkie greeted her next customer in line, an orange pegasus mare with a blue mane.
“Are your muffins fresh?” the customer asked.
“Yes, they are!” Pinkie nodded.
"How fresh are they?"
"They just came out of the oven a few minutes ago, so they're pretty fresh."
The customer took a look at the muffins in the display case. "They don't look fresh to me," the customer frowned.
"I personally placed these muffins here from the oven less than five minutes ago. Trust me, they're fresh."
The customer shook her head. "No, they're not. Look! That muffin looks fresher than that other muffin."
Pinkie took a closer look at the muffins. The muffins on the tray looked all the same to her, and she was a pony with years of experience with baked goods of all kinds.
"They all look fresh to me, ma'am," Pinkie told her.
“Well this one looks fresher than that one," the customer insisted. "Can I see how fresh it is? Because I only want it if it’s fresh.”
Pinkie did her best to hide her groan from the customer. “As I said, ma’am, it’s perfectly fresh.”
“Can you get me the muffin that’s the most fresh? This one looks the most fresh. Definitely more fresh than that one. Can you get me the freshest one?”
“Okie dokie lokie!” Pinkie nodded. She grabbed the muffin that the customer was pointing to. And placed it in front of the customer.
“This is the freshest muffin, right? More fresh than the other ones? Because I only want it if it’s fresh.” the customer asked.
“I can assure you that I’ve been as fresh with you as I can get away with, ma’am,” Pinkie said through a tight grin.
"Thank you!" the customer smiled. "I hope you understand that I just wanted to be fresh."
Pinkie had to bite her tongue from saying something she would have really regretted later.
~~~~~
It was getting late in the day and Pinkie was beginning to put away some of the store's empty treys when she saw a familiar yellow pegasus enter the store.
“Fluttershy!” Pinkie shouted excitedly. “How are you doing?” She was eager to find out how her lunch went with the stallion she had met yesterday. However, she noticed that Fluttershy seemed a bit more nervous and embarrassed than usual.
“Is something wrong, Fluttershy?” Pinkie asked in concern.
Fluttershy sighed. “Pinkie? I’m about to do something that I’m absolutely ashamed of. So please, whatever happens, just know that I’m very very sorry. If you don’t want to be here, I’ll understand. You don’t deserve this at all. But…. I just need to do this.”
There was a moment of uncertainty on Pinkie’s part. She didn’t know what to expect, but it seemed like her friend needed this task, whatever it was.
“It’s Ok, Fluttershy. I understand. Go right ahead.”
"Promise you won't get mad at me?" Fluttershy pleaded.
"I Pinkie Promise!" Pinkie reassured her friend.
“Thank you,” Fluttershy sighed again. The yellow pegasus took a slow deep breath. Suddenly, without warning, she angrily grabbed Pinkie by her neck.
“GIVE ME THE UNHEALTHIEST [beep ] THING ON THE [honk ] MENU RIGHT [chirp ] NOW OR ELSE I’LL SHOVE YOUR [crash ] UP YOUR [bzzzt ] SO HARD YOU’LL [meow ] EVERYTIME YOU [cuckoo ]!!! AND YOU BETTER NOT MESS WITH ME RIGHT NOW, YOU [Buy some apples! ] SON OF A [woof woof ]!!!”
Fluttershy huffed as she finished spending every last ounce of anger into her tirade which left Pinkie in a state of shock. Realizing that she was still holding onto Pinkie by her neck, she let her go and blushed in embarrassment.
“Um… that is…. If you don’t mind…” Fluttershy squeaked quietly.
Pinkie made a mental note to herself not to ask Fluttershy anything about her lunch date.
Author's Note
So.... I think this story still qualifies as falling under the "Everyone" rating.
As always, feel free to comment, & send me a PM if you notice something that needs correcting.
Thanks for reading!
‘Another day. Another set of crazy customers ’, Pinkie thought as she opened up Sugarcube Corner. She was thoroughly convinced that today would be just as crazy, if not more so, than the last few days. Then again, perhaps it was best not to dwell on it. Besides, she’s managed to handle the previous days so today should be no problem. Or maybe she just jinxed herself by thinking that. At any rate, Pinkie took her place behind the counter and waited for the first customer of the day. She had even brought along one of her activity puzzle books with her to help pass the time when things slowed down in the store.
Before long a pair of pegasi, a dark brown mare and a young light brown colt, entered the store.
“Hello! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie smiled.
“Can I please have a single chocolate ice cream?” the young colt asked.
The mare frowned at the child. “Junior! Remember what I said before we came in here?”
“Oh…I’m sorry Missus Ice Cream Lady,” the colt apologized to Pinkie. “My mommy told me I can’t be polite to you.”
Pinkie blinked. “She said what?”
“My mommy said that some ponies don’t deserve kindness, so I can’t be polite to you,” the colt explained. “Can I still get a single chocolate ice cream, please?”
“Stop apologizing and don’t say please!” the mother groaned. “Just say what you want and don’t talk to her. You’ll waste good manners otherwise. Now watch how I do it.” The mare turned to Pinkie. “One single chocolate ice cream to go.” She turned her attention back to her son. “See? Short, simple, and I didn’t waste my manners. Now try again, Junior.”
The young colt, now embarrassed and ashamed over his mistake, tried to look at Pinkie in the eye, but found himself looking at the floor instead. “I want a single chocolate ice cream and nothing else, please?” he said quietly.
“No!” the mother shouted. “You said please again! Your manners are terrible! You’ll never be a proper gentlecolt like that!”
By now, the colt couldn’t help but to tear up. “I’m sorry, Mommy,” he sniffed.
"And what did I say about crying in public?" the mother frowned. "For Celestia's sake, why are you always such a disappointment?"
Throughout the exchange, Pinkie felt more and more uncomfortable with the way the mother was treating her child. She wanted to say something to the mother, but as she watched the colt being chastised for his misuse of manners, Pinkie came up with another idea.
Normally, a single ice cream is just a standard scoop on a cone. However, Pinkie scooped up three scoops of chocolate ice cream in a larger cup, and dressed it with a generous amount of chocolate syrup, sprinkles and cherries.
“Here you go!” Pinkie smiled, handing the now giant ice cream treat to the colt.
“Excuse me! We only ordered a single chocolate ice cream!” the mother shouted angrily.
“I know, and this won’t cost a bit extra,” Pinkie explained. “This is a special thank you to this fine colt here.”
His eyes widened in surprised shock. “Is that really for me?”
“Yessiree!” Pinkie nodded. “You’re the most polite customer I’ve had today, and the most polite customers of the day gets a special Sugarcube Corner reward!”
“Wow! Thank you Missus Ice Cream Lady! Thank you!!!” the young colt smiled, taking the ice cream in his hooves and started to gleefully lick the giant treat.
The mother grumbled loudly as her son began to eat the giant treat. “Ugh! He’s not supposed to be polite to people on minimum wage!”
“Is that why you don’t talk to daddy anymore?” the young colt asked in between licks of his ice cream.
The mother was rendered speechless by her son’s comment. She also noticed a suspicious stare coming from Pinkie. “C-come along Junior. It’s time to go now,” she stuttered, clumsily making her way to the front door.
“Bye Missus Ice Cream Lady!” the colt smiled and waved, following his mother out of the store.
“Have a nice day!” Pinkie waved back.
~~~~~
“Hello, ma’am! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted the next customer in line.
“Yeah, I need a cake for my sister’s birthday,” the customer ordered. She took her time looking at the sample cakes inside the store display and picked out the red velvet special.
“All righty! One Red Velvet birthday cake special!” Pinkie smiled. “Would you like me to write anything on the cake?”
The customer nodded. “Can you write down ‘Happy Birthday, Fatty McFatpants’?”
“…”
“Is something wrong?”
“You want me to write ‘Happy Birthday’, what?!?” Pinkie repeated, not believing what she had heard.
“Fatty McFatpants,” The customer replied nonchalantly.
“Is that really your sister’s name?”
“Oh, of course not!” the customer chuckled. “I’ve been calling her that since she gained weight over the last few months. Boy! Let me tell you, she hates that name!”
“…Sooo… why do you want me to write it on the cake?” Pinkie asked carefully.
The customer shrugged. “Why not? She is fat.”
There were so many questions swimming in Pinkie’s mind, but she couldn’t dare herself to ask any of them. One thing was for sure, she couldn’t let herself participate in this customer’s seemingly cruel teasing. “Oh! Look at that! We’re out of frosting!” Pinkie lied through a forceful smile. “Unfortunately, I can’t ice this cake for you. Sorry!”
The customer rolled her eyes. “Fine. I guess I’ll just frost this myself.” She paid for the cake and left.
Before returning back to her puzzle book, Pinkie made a note to get this customer’s apology cake she’ll undoubtedly need in the near future ready to go at a moment’s notice.
~~~~~
“Hello sir! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted the next customer in line.
The dark orange pegasus stallion walked up to the counter and placed a package of store-wrapped brownies in front of the register.
“Yeah, I have a question about these brownies.”
“What’s the matter with them?”
The stallion pointed to a unique label on the packaging. “These brownies are marked ‘Special’. Why is that?”
“It’s the Sugarcube Corner deal of the day!” Pinkie explained. “Our brownies are on sale today and tomorrow.”
“Sooo… these aren’t special brownies?”
Pinkie blinked in confusion. “I’m not sure what you mean, sir.”
“You know,” the stallion winked knowingly, “They’re not…special … brownies?”
“No, they’re not,” Pinkie replied slowly. “They’re just normal, regular old brownies.”
The customer sighed. “Never mind, then.” He pushed the brownies aside and walked straight out of the store disappointed.
Pinkie gave the brownies a quick sniff to ensure they were still normal before she put them back on display.
~~~~~
So far, it had been a rather slow day at Sugarcube Corner, so much so that Pinkie spent much of the day tidying up the store and solving puzzles in her puzzle book. After wiping down the counters, she decided that the store’s floor could use a good cleaning too. She quickly went to the storage closet and wheeled out the mop bucket. She also made sure the wet floor signs were displayed in case anypony came in. She began to mop up the area in front of the counter when a young stallion entered the store. Upon entering and seeing Pinkie mopping the floor, he slipped and fell down.
“Ow!!! My leg!!! It’s broken!!!” he cried out.
Pinkie turned and noticed the stallion clutching his left rear leg in agony.
“Why didn’t you tell me the floor was wet? I’m going to sue you for everything you’ve got! You could have KILLED ME!!!” the stallion shouted angrily.
Pinkie rolled her eyes in disgust. “Sir, there’s just two things wrong with your plan. One, I have ‘Caution – Wet Floor’ signs all over the store, so we did our part to warn you.”
“Well I didn’t see them,” he shouted. “I want your manager, NOW! I’ll have you fired for this!”
“And the other thing that’s wrong with your plan?” Pinkie continued, “I haven’t mopped over there yet. The floor is dry where you ‘slipped’.”
The stallion’s cries of agony fell silent immediately. He took a good look at the floor and found that the floor was indeed dry. Without saying another word, he got off the floor and ran out of the store in full gallop.
“Well, I guess that's one way to fix a broken leg,” Pinkie chuckled.
~~~~~
“Wow! This brain teaser is a doozy. What's the name of this missing pony, anyway?” Pinkie buried her head in her puzzle book in despair. She found herself stuck on a logic brain teaser where she had to identify the ponies playing certain positions on a kickball team based off of clues given in the book. So far, she had identified the entire team except for the pony playing at first. Pinkie tried and tried to figure it out, but she kept drawing a blank.
As much as Pinkie wanted to figure out the puzzle, she had to put the book down as she saw the familiar forms of Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash entered the store, both looking rather irritated at the moment.
“Twilight! Dashie! How’s everything going?” Pinkie smiled, hoping to cheer her friends back up.
“Badly,” Twilight frowned. “I caught Rainbow napping on the job again. She almost ruined the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ picnic.”
“I cleared those clouds just in time!” Rainbow Dash pointed out.
“You always do this though,” Twilight shouted. “You always keep everypony waiting until the last minute!”
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to say something, but just let out a frustrated sigh instead. “Let’s just get the ice cream I promised you, okay?”
Pinkie felt concerned about her friends being upset like this, but she felt that Twilight and Rainbow were able to fix things on their own. Besides, ice cream always makes ponies feel better. “So what flavor do you girls want?”
“I’ll have Cookies and Cream,” Rainbow ordered. “What about you, Twilight?”
“Hold on a second,” Twilight said, scanning the storefront’s display case. “I’m still trying to choose.”
Rainbow’s jaw dropped. “Seriously, Twilight? After everything you said about keeping ponies waiting?” she shouted impatiently.
“This is different from that,” Twilight insisted.
“No it isn’t!” Rainbow shouted.
Twilight groaned. “Look, Rainbow. I’m not in the mood to argue right now.”
“I wasn’t starting an argument,” Rainbow Dash pointed out.
“Yes you were!” Twilight shouted.
“No I wasn’t!” Rainbow shouted back.
“Yes you were!” Twilight shouted back.
“No I wasn’t!” Rainbow shouted back again.
“See? We’re arguing right now!” Twilight pointed out.
“No we’re not!”
“Yes we are!”
“No we’re not!”
“Yes we are!”
“No we’re not!”
“Yes we are!”
“This isn’t even an argument!” Rainbow groaned in frustration.
“Yes it is!”
“No it isn’t! I haven’t said anything! I’ve just been saying “No we’re not!” again and again.”
“She does have a point, Twilight,” Pinkie chimed in.
Twilight turned to Pinkie in disbelief. “What?”
“When you think of it, an argument is a connected series of statements intended to establish a stated point of view or proposition,” Pinkie explained. “What you’ve been doing is just contradiction.”
“No I haven’t,” Twilight defended herself.
“See? You just did it again.” Pinkie pointed out. “When you contradict somepony, you’re just automatically naysaying anything the other pony says. It’s not really an argument.”
Twilight stood silent for a few seconds before she responded back to Pinkie. “Well, it can be.”
“No it can’t!” Pinkie shouted.
Twilight sighed in frustration. “Look, if I argue with you, it stands to reason that I’m taking a position that contradicts yours.”
“But it isn’t just saying ‘No it isn’t.’” Pinkie countered.
“Yes it is!” Twilight shouted.
“No it isn’t!” Pinkie shouted back.
“Yes it is!” Twilight shouted back.
“No it isn’t!” Pinkie shouted back again.
Rainbow Dash facehoofed in frustration. “Great. Now you’re arguing with Pinkie!”
“No I’m not!” Twilight shouted to Rainbow.
“Yes you are!” Pinkie shouted to Twilight.
“No I’m not!” Twilight shouted to Pinkie.
“Yes you are!” Rainbow shouted to Twilight.
“Leave her alone! You started this!” Pinkie shouted to Rainbow.
“No I didn’t! She started it!” Rainbow shouted to Pinkie.
“Are you serious? You started it!” Twilight shouted to Rainbow.
“WHO STARTED THIS?!?” Pinkie shouted in frustration. She then suddenly blinked in realization. “Wait a minute. That’s it! Who! Who is on first!” Pinkie smiled as she filled in the final remaining answer in the brain teaser book she was reading.
Both Twilight and Rainbow’s faces fell into confusion as Pinkie scribbled into her puzzle book.
“Excuse me?” Twilight asked.
“My puzzle book! It was asking me the name of the pony on first base in a game of kickball.”
“So what’s the pony’s name?” Rainbow asked.
“Who,” Pinkie answered.
“The pony on first base.”
“Who.”
“The first basepony!”
“Who is on first!”
“What?”
Pinkie shook her head. “No! What is on second! Who is on first!”
“Wait. Who is on first?” Twilight asked.
“Yes!”
Rainbow Dash sighed in relief. “So the pony’s name is Yes.”
Pinkie shook her head again. “No. Yes isn’t even part of this problem. Who is on first.”
“Pinkie, I thought you just told me!” Rainbow shouted incredulously.
“Told you what, Dashie?”
“Who is on first.”
“I already told that!”
"Told me what?"
"Who is on first!"
“Why are you asking me? I’m asking you!”
Twilight groaned. “Perfect. Now you’re arguing with Pinkie.”
“No I’m not!” Rainbow shouted.
“Yes you are!” Twilight shouted back.
Pinkie shrugged. “Hey, it’s not my fault Dashie doesn’t know Who’s on first.”
“I thought What was on first,” Twilight said, scratching her head.
Pinkie shook her head. “No. He’s on second. Who’s on first.”
Rainbow threw her hooves up in frustration. “WHAT ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE?!?”
“I don’t know,” Twilight sighed in defeat.
“He’s on third base!” Pinkie pointed out, scribbling another note in her puzzle book.
~~~~~
“All right, let me explain this again one last time,” Pinkie told the mare who was trying to order a hot ice cream, “We serve our ice cream cold because ice cream is cold by its very nature. If I tried to warm up the ice cream for you, it would just melt and it wouldn’t even be ice cream anymore.”
The mare frowned. “Well, you’ll be out of business soon if you treat all your customers like this. Good day!” She grabbed her purse from the counter and stomped her way out of the store.
Pinkie decided it wasn’t worth trying to figure out the logistics of what that customer tried to order. It’s just another part of what was been without a doubt the strangest week Sugarcube Corner has ever seen. Celestia knows if things would get even worse next week. Pinkie shuddered at the thought. Maybe she should ask the Cakes for a day off.
No! What was she thinking? The Cakes depend on her to help the store run smoothly, and all things considered, she really loves her job. Even if she has to deal with some of the nastiest, craziest things in all of Equestria.
She was lost so deep in her thoughts, she never noticed Applejack enter into the store.
“Howdy, Pinkie! Say, do you know why Twilight and Rainbow were arguing today? They caused a ruckus all over Ponyville!” Before she could go into any detail, she noticed Pinkie looked phased out at the moment, so she slowly walked up to the counter and waved a hoof in front of her.
“Equestria to Pinkie? Are ya in there?” Applejack shouted.
Pinkie snapped back to reality. “Oh! Sorry, Applejack. I didn’t see you come in.”
“Don’t worry ‘bout that,” Applejack smiled. “Another rough day at work?”
“All in all, I guess today wasn’t so bad… except for Twilight and Dashie. I don’t even know if they made up yet.”
“If Ah know those two, not only have they made up, but Ah’m willing to bet Twilight is sending a friendship report about it right about now.”
At that moment, a dark silver earth pony mare entered the store, looking rather distressed.
“Excuse me? Could you tell me where the bathrooms are? It’s an emergency” the mare asked
Pinkie pointed the mare in the right direction. “Towards the back of the store, next to the kitchen.”
“Thank you,” the customer sighed, making her way towards the bathroom.
“At any rate, Ah’m glad to hear things were fine today, Pinkie,” Applejack smiled.
“Just barely,” Pinkie sighed. “Today was as bad as the last few days. In fact, this whole week has been just plain weird!”
“Sounds like you need a vacation,” Applejack pulled out a train ticket from her saddlebag. “You know what? Ah need to take a trip to Manehattan tomorrow for some farm business. Ah wouldn’t mind if Ah had some company along the way.”
Pinkie chuckled at the thought. “A trip to Manehattan really does sound exciting, but the Cakes are depending on me to keep the store running. I’d feel guilty taking a day off like that.”
“Well, it was just a thought after all,” Applejack shrugged. She then noticed the puzzle book on the counter. “What’cha working on there, Pinkie?”
“It’s the puzzle book I was working on all day. It’s really fun!” Pinkie went on to show Applejack some of the puzzles she had already solved. She was about to show her the kickball brain teaser when the mare walked back out from the back of the store, looking extremely relieved.
“Everything all right now, ma’am?” Pinkie asked.
The mare nodded. “Yes, it is. Thanks you! But you may want to change your bathroom decor. It looks a lot like a pantry.”
Pinkie arched her eyebrow in confusion. “Ma’am, our bathrooms look nothing like a pantry. They are normal bathrooms.”
The customer froze in fear when a sudden realization hit her. “Uh oh…”
Moments later, a scream of horror rang out from the back of the store which Pinkie identified as coming from Mrs. Cake. She also guessed that the cleanup required from the mare’s accident in the pantry would probably close the store down for a day so it can be thoroughly decontaminated.
“On second thought, a day trip to Manehattan doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all,” Pinkie chuckled nervously.
Day Seven (Pinkie's Day Off)
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. It had been a long, strange week at Sugarcube Corner. With all of the rude, mean, confused, and just flat out weird customers coming into the store over the last few days, Pinkie couldn't even begin to guess what today would bring. Ultimately, she decided not to worry about any of that, and just let the events of the day play itself out, no matter what happens. With that thought, Pinkie opened up Sugarcube Corner and set herself up at the register, ready for whatever today had in store for her.
It wasn’t long until a snobbish looking dark pink Earth pony mare with a purple mane and a gold necklace entered the store. Pinkie groaned to herself. First customer of the day and it just HAD to be Spoiled Rich. She had a history of being a bad customer not just at Sugarcube Corner, but at just about every store she’s ever visited. At any rate, every customer deserves a smile, so Pinkie managed to give the rich mare a genuine smile as she approached the counter.
“Hi, Mrs. Rich. Welcome to Sugarcube Corner. How may I help you?”
“Oh, you know what I want!” Spoiled Rich frowned.
Well that lasted longer than she expected, Pinkie sarcastically thought to herself. Pinkie forced a smile. “Just to be on the safe side, why don’t you tell me anyway, just so we know we got it right.”
“I want the chocolate… chip… cookie… dough… sundae.” Spoiled Rich said slowly, making sure she broke down each syllable so that even a simpleton can understand. “Is your brain really that small that you can’t even understand that?”
Spoiled Rich’s insults and condescending tone only made Pinkie’s forced grin grow wider. “One chocolate chip cookie dough sundae, coming up!” she responded. Keeping the forced smile on her face, she began the process of putting the order together, taking out the sundae glass cup and filling it with the three scoops of cookie dough ice cream, as she has done hundreds of times before, all under Spoiled Rich’s cold, calculating stare.
In the middle of putting the order together, Spoiled Rich suddenly spoke up. “No. No. That’s no good at all. Just give me the butter pecan ice cream, instead. Two scoops.”
“Whatever you want, ma’am!” Pinkie continued smiling. She set the sundae aside and began to put together the ice cream, placing the two scoops of ice cream on the waffle cone carefully.
“Hey!” Spoiled Rich shouted, her patience running out completely. “Where’s my extra scoop. I always get an extra scoop!”
“You did say two scoops, and I thought that’s what you meant!” Pinkie replied, trying very hard not lose her composure.
Enraged, Spoiled Rich leaned over the counter and shouted straight into Pinkie’s face. “I ALWAYS get an extra scoop! So when I say two scoops, I expect to get THREE!!!”.
Amazingly, Pinkie kept up her pleasant demeanor. “No need to shout, ma’am. I’ll get you that third scoop.”
Spoiled Rich scoffed. “You’d better! And you’d better stop giving me that attitude.”
“I'm sorry that you feel that way,” Pinkie apologized as she continued preparing the ice cream. “When you said two scoops, I thought you just wanted two scoops and that’s it. I’m simply trying to make you exactly what you want; that's all.” She put the third scoop on the cone and topped off the treat with some rainbow sprinkles. “There we go! Three scoops of butter pecan ice cream!”
The angry mare took one long look at the ice cream. “You forgot the caramel!” she frowned. “This ice cream ALWAYS comes with caramel here!”
If Pinkie's forced smile got any tighter, she was almost certain her teeth might pop out of her mouth. “Actually, the caramel is optional. You didn’t say anything about caramel, so I thought that you didn’t want any.”
“Well, I never! This is, without a doubt, the WORST service I’ve ever experienced in all of Equestria!” Spoiled rich shouted. “You know what? Forget the ice cream. I’ll just have the cookie crumble parfait.”
“Whatever you want, ma’am!” Pinkie smiled. She carefully put the ice cream aside and went to work putting together the parfait, sprinkling bits of crushed chocolate cookies and chocolate hot fudge on top of the parfait base.
“No, no! That won’t do at all,” Spoiled Rich suddenly shouted out. “I want the Strawberry Delight parfait instead.”
Pinkie’s calm demeanor cracked a bit and a feeling a pure rage flashed on her face for a split second. Thankfully, she managed to remain calm and professional enough to change Spoiled Rich’s order again without her noticing. Moments later, Pinkie put the finished treat on the counter. “Here you go! One Strawberry Delight. Five bits please”
“Finally!” Spoiled Rich groaned as she paid for her parfait. “It’s like pulling teeth to get a sensible meal here. Why is it so hard for everypony to understand what I’m trying to order?!?”
As Spoiled Rich made her way out of the store, Pinkie made a mental note to herself to ask Applejack if she needed any extra help bucking trees later that afternoon.
~~~~~
The line at Sugarcube Corner had become longer as the morning went on. Thankfully, everypony waited for their turn in the line without any fuss. At the moment, Pinkie greeted a rather pudgy silver-maned light purple unicorn mare.
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie smiled to the couple.
“I’ll have the chocolate chip brownie with extra frosting and sprinkles. Oh, and can you also add a strawberry milkshake with chocolate syrup, too?”
“No problem. That’ll be seven bits,” Pinkie chuckled as she rang up the order.
Behind the couple in the line, a pair of elderly mares shook their heads in disgust.
“Did you hear what that girl ordered? No wonder she’s so fat!” the first elder said out loud to her friend, making no attempt to whisper as if she wanted all of Equestria to hear her.
“Young ponies today are so lazy! Don’t ponies like that have any self-respect for themselves?” the second elder added.
“Of course, they don’t! Ponies like that just expect everything to be handed to them on a silver platter. I bet she never worked a single day in her life!”
The other ponies in the store couldn’t help to overhear what the two elders were saying about the customer at the counter, who had showed no reaction herself to what was being said about her, and were starting to become angry the longer those elders went on. Pinkie was disappointed herself that some ponies were quick to judge others like that and she wanted to tell those two ponies that what they were doing wasn’t cool. She wanted to speak up to the gossiping elders, but she ultimately didn’t need to since a dark yellow stallion in the line decided to speak up to the elders.
“Hey! Cut that out! Don’t you think you’re being a little unfair to her? She did nothing to you,” he said. A few ponies around him nodded in agreement.
“Well I’m sorry, young man, but we find it offensive when a pony decides to present herself like that in public,” the first mare replied.
“Yes! She should be ashamed of herself for exhibiting the WORST OF EQUESTRIA!!!” the second mare shouted, making sure that her last line echoed in the overweight customer’s ear.
Now everypony in the store wad their attention to the front of the line. Enough was enough. Now Pinkie had to step in. “Excuse me ladies, but this isn’t the place for that kind of behavior.”
“Tell that to that fat pig you’re serving right now!” the first mare shouted. “If you had any decency, you would refuse her service and tell her to not come back until she lost weight!”
At that point, the customer started to break down in sobs. “Why do you hate me? I can’t help the way I look!” the customer cried to the elders.
The first elder mare scoffed. “Please, that’s no excuse. You expect us to be sorry for you?”
The customer placed a hoof on her stomach. “I’M PREGNANT!!!” she screamed through her tears.
Everypony inside Sugarcube Corner fell uncomfortably silent as the customer’s scream echoed off the walls. The two elderly ponies’ faces had drained into pure abject horror all the while the customer continued to cry. They soon noticed all the disapproving stares coming at them from every corner of the store. Some of them even started booing the now terrified elders.
“Oh… well… We weren’t really talking about… you… per se…” the first elder chuckled, failing to laugh off the whole situation.
“Yes… Sorry for the misunderstanding,” the second elder chuckled, nervously shifting her way towards the exit. “Hey! I think I hear our taxi outside. Gotta go!”
The two elders galloped out of Sugarcube Corner faster than they have ever remembered galloping before. While some in the store cheered at the two leaving, others approached the overweight mare at the front of the line.
“Are you all right, ma’am?” the stallion who spoke up earlier asked.
“I’ll be fine,” the customer smiled, wiping the last tear from her eye.
“So, if you don’t mind me asking, when are you due?” Pinkie asked.
The customer chuckled. “Actually, I’m not pregnant at all. I only did that to teach those mares a lesson!”
"Lesson learned," the stallion chuckled.
~~~~~
The morning rush was starting to wind down when a black-maned auburn pegasus colt entered the store.
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted the new customer.
“I’d like the Strawberry Ice Cream Cookie sandwich and a medium hot cocoa, please?”
“Not a problem! That’ll be eight bits.”
“Actually,” the customer began to point out, “Pinkie Pie always gives me a discount.”
“…Excuse me?” Pinkie blinked in confusion.
“Yeah! She probably didn’t tell you that yet.” he smiled smugly. “I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a regular customer around these parts. And I’m proud to say that I’m Pinkie’s number one customer!”
Pinkie could only shake her head. She knew everypony in Ponyville and she knew her regular customers very well. Yet, she had never met this colt before in her life. While it was true that many ponies have heard of her, and by extension Sugarcube Corner, she never really thought that somepony would completely misidentify the pinkest pony in Equestria in her own store!
“So you’re best friends with Pinkie Pie , are you?” she asked the stallion.
“You bet!”
“How is Pinkie doing lately, just out of curiosity?” she asked, crossing her front hooves together.
“Oh, you know. Same old, same old!” He waved his hoof amusingly. “I don’t want to bore you with the details.”
“Oh no! I insist!” Pinkie chuckled. “I’ve heard some stories about Pinkie Pie.”
“Really? What kind of stories?”
“Well for starters, I heard that Pinkie Pie doesn’t like it when a pony she never met before tries to trick her into giving him or her free food!” Pinkie’s face fell into a deep frown as she finished her sentence.
“Never met before? But I have met Pinkie Pie! I swear!” he insisted.
She arched her eyebrow. “Really? Then what’s her cutie mark?”
The customer stammered for a few moments as he quickly tried to come up with an answer. “A… pink… elephant?” he weakly offered.
Her frown grew deeper. “For your information, Pinkie Pie’s cutie mark is three balloons. Two blue and one yellow.” She pointed out the mark on her flank to the customer to prove her point.
“Oh! That’s right! How silly of me!” the colt smiled in sudden realization. “Her cutie mark is three balloons! Just… like… yours….” He trailed off into stunned silence as he began to connect the dots. “You’re Pinkie Pie, aren’t you?”
“And how may I help you today, sir?” Pinkie asked angrily.
The colt remained silent under Pinkie’s stern gaze for a few agonizing seconds.
“…Sooooo, can I still get the discount?”
“You are not getting a discount,” she frowned.
“I am not getting a discount,” he repeated in defeat.
“You are going to go home and rethink your life,” she added.
“I am going to go home and rethink my life,” he nodded, shuffling his hooves a bit as he left the store.
~~~~~
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?” Pinkie greeted her next set of customers, a pair of young blonde-maned Earth fillies, one of which had a brown coat and the other one had a light red coat.
“Yeah! Can we order two double-scoop cookie sundaes?” the red filly asked.
“With extra sprinkles on mine?” the brown filly added.
“No problem! That’ll be ten bits,” Pinkie smiled. She rang up the order and began to put together the mares’ order. While they waited, the two customers took the opportunity to take a closer look at the store. The red filly noticed that there were a lot of signs posted that displayed various sales and ongoing specials and general warnings and information to everypony. One such sign made the red filly tilt her head in confusion.
“Careful. Some foods may contain nuts,” she read. “Why is that sign up?”
“It’s just a friendly reminder,” Pinkie explained. “Some ponies don’t like nuts or can’t eat them, so we just post up a reminder that some of our treats have nuts in them.”
“Ok, but how are you supposed to know which foods contain nuts?”
The brown filly rolled her eyes at her friend. “Well duh, obviously all of the donuts have nuts.”
“How do you figure?” the red filly asked.
“It’s all in the name!” the brown filly explained. “DO-NUTS. Why else would they call it that?”
The red filly nodded slowly as she followed her friend’s reasoning. “Oh! That does makes sense when you think about it!”
Pinkie Pie opened her mouth to say something, but then quickly decided to stay quiet. Sometimes it was just best to leave well enough alone.
~~~~~
It was getting late in the afternoon and things were quiet at Sugarcube Corner at that moment. No customers were in the store and the Cakes were out shopping for supplies. Pinkie decided to take advantage of the break in customers to tidy up the store a bit in case another rush of customers came in. As she was finishing up wiping down the front counter, a familiar white unicorn entered the store, looking a tad bit worn out at the moment.
“Rarity! How are things in your neck of the woods?” Pinkie asked.
“I suppose things are fine,” the fashionista sighed, “I just had an experience with a customer today that just made me want to pull my hair out! Would you please fix me a bowl of vanilla ice cream? I think I deserve a treat.”
“Okie dokie loki!” Pinkie Pie smiled, heading back to the counter to get Rarity’s treat ready “Care to share what happened?”
“You won’t believe this,” Rarity warned Pinkie. “This customer insisted that insisted I give him 30% off his suit order because he was a gold-level member level at J.C. Whinny’s of Canterlot. And I guess that means he feels he gets 30% off anything, anywhere.”
Pinkie groaned at Rarity’s story while she finished putting the ice cream together. She then grabbed a bottle of chocolate syrup from the cabinet to top off the treat. “You got one of those ponies too, huh?” she asked.
Rarity nodded. “To make matters worse, he just wouldn’t leave! I spent a good 30 minutes trying to explain that my shop has nothing to do with any department store, Canterlot or otherwise. When he left, he said that he was going to file a complaint to J.C. Whinny’s and he’ll make sure I get fired!”
“I could only imagine the reaction he’s gonna get from J.C Whinny's when he tries to follow through on that,” Pinkie chuckled. “Here’s your ice cream, Rarity. The chocolate syrup is on me.”
“Oh, Pinkie! You didn’t have to do that.”
“I insist. Sometimes a small treat like this can turn a whole day around. Believe me. I know from experience.”
Rarity and Pinkie continued chatting when a blue-maned black pegasus stallion entered the store. He stood in line behind Rarity.
“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!” Pinkie told the stallion. “I’ll be with you in just a moment.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’m just admiring the view. Take your time.” The stallion grinned.
Rarity took her ice cream off the counter. “I guess I should be returning to my shop now. Thanks again for the ice cream and… EEEK!!!” Rarity suddenly tensed up from an unknown slap on her rear. Her face turned a light shade of pink.
“Rarity? What happened?” Pinkie asked.
“I think he just slapped me on my flank!” Rarity shouted in alarm.
“Settle down lady. It’s just a compliment,” the stallion defended himself.
Rarity’s jaw dropped. “A COMPLIMENT?!? That was closer to assault!”
Pinkie nodded in agreement. “Sir, not only is that NOT a compliment, it’s rude, it's mean and is not allowed in our store. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”
The stallion frowned. “Geez! Are all you mares this uptight around here? Don’t you know how to act when a stallion gives you a compliment? You girls need to loosen up if you want to get married before you become ugly old hags.”
Pinkie and Rarity’s eyes twitched.
“Ugly… Old… Hags?” Rarity repeated slowly.
The stallion nodded defiantly. He then gave the two a quick second glance. “Then again, it might be too late for you two anyway,” he scoffed.
That was it. Forget store protocol and forget basic customer service. This stallion was going down. Pinkie Pie started to climb over the counter in rage. “WHY I OUGHTTA…”
Before Pinkie could get any closer, Rarity put a single hoof on her shoulder to stop her. In contrast to Pinkie’s blind rage, Rarity's reaction had turned calm and serene. “I apologize, good sir. You have made your point,” she calmly told the stallion.
“WHAT?!?” a confused Pinkie shouted to her friend.
“He is right, after all,” Rarity calmly explained. “As a lady, I should recognize when a stallion of such… magnitude decides to take notice on such a frail, gentle creature as myself.”
The stallion smiled triumphantly. “There you go! Nice to see some ladies out there know how to take a good compliment.”
Rarity nodded. “Indeed I do. And as a lady, I should thank your gracious compliment. It is the generous thing to do, after all.”
“I’m liking the sound of this!” the stallion grinned. “In fact, you’re looking more and more beautiful by the second, Miss…”
“…Rarity. My name is Rarity. And I’ll make sure that you’ll never forget who I am.” She turned back to Pinkie. “I’d like to buy a chocolate fudge cake for my friend here.”
“But Rarity…” Pinkie tried to protest.
“I insist!” Rarity spoke up, hushing any objections to her actions. “Only the best for our fine gentlemen.”
“Yeah! You heard her, lady!” the stallion angrily shouted to Pinkie. “Get moving and give me my cake!”
Pinkie gave the customer a dangerous scowl before sighing in defeat. She rang up the order then went back to the kitchen. A few short moments later, Pinkie returned from the back with the cake and handed it over to Rarity. The stallion took a good look at the cake.
“Wow! That’s a big cake!” he observed.
Rarity nodded. “It sure is. And it’s all yours!”
Without any warning, Rarity threw the whole cake into the stallion’s face, with pieces of crumbs, frosting and chocolate syrup flying everywhere. Rarity made sure that the stunned stallion’s face was completely covered with cake. Pinkie Pie fell over into uncontrollable laughter while the stallion got covered in chocolate fudge.
“Worth every penny!” Rarity smirked. With her work finished, the fashionista walked out of the store with her head held high.
The stallion remained stunned frozen, his face covered in cake crumbs and fudge which now also covered the floor as well. Pinkie, who was still caught in fits of laughter, walked over to the closet, grabbed a mop, and handed it over to the customer.
“By the way,” Pinkie giggled, “We also have a rule that if you make a mess in our store, you have to be the one who cleans it up. And you did say that this was your cake. So, happy cleaning!”
The stallion grumbled as he took the mop from Pinkie’s hooves and started cleaning up the mess. Pinkie also made sure to explain to the Cakes the new cleaning rule she had just now created for the store and why, hopefully, this was to be a one-time only rule.
