A Short Story

by alai20

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Original Character
Length: 1858

An awful southern accent and one heck of a job makes Speeding Shadow have a very interesting adventure.

Speeding Shadow will conquer the world with her terrible excuse for a southern accent and jokester attitude, starting with a certain someones' empire.

(Side note: It was two a.m. when I wrote this, apparently I was so tired that I wrote a story. I don't even remember writing this, tbh. Let's see how this turns out.)

Published 2015-11-28 03:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-28 03:30:02 UTC

The One and Only Chapter

“I don’t really know where to start. What do you want to know?” I said smugly to the stallion who was questioning me. I can’t believe they would trust a guy like him to be here with me. I would be gone by now except I needed to get something out of the deal.

“Tell us everything. Now,” he replied.

“What am I going to get out of this then? ‘Cause hon? Right now, I’m not going to tell you anything. Unless, of course, you sweeten the deal a little bit,” I said.

“We’re already granting you amnesty for everything you’ve already done, which is a lot, and you get enough money to be out of Equestria in 10 minutes. What else is there that you want?” he inquired.

“I’ll tell ya. You really seem like a guy I could uh, open up to,” I said with a wink. The stallion awkwardly pursed his lips together as I gave a small smirk. Being with a guy like this, an obvious newbie, made this whole ordeal bearable. “But first, I need you to answer a question for me,” I paused shortly, not really giving him time to answer. "Tell me hon, who else is on duty at this hour? Anyone I should be afraid of?” I said mockingly. He and I both know that nobody was going to be enough to make me afraid of them.

“We have a couple guards at their stations in the lobby, guards outside this door, and we can call the other department. Reinforcements will be here in about five minutes.” He replied in almost a curt manner, like he wasn’t afraid of what I could do. I didn’t really pay it any mind, since it was going to be over soon anyway.

“Hm. All those stallions, coming for me, of all ponies? Momma always said that I would be an eye catcher. Now, along with full amnesty for everything, I want to see the old crone herself. I also want double the money, in cash, and I want an escort out of the country. We got a deal?” I said.

The officer, Storm was what his name tag said, sat with his mouth wide open. He looked at the glass window behind me, which no doubt had reinforcements on the other side. His earpiece lit up, and he touched the side. He took a breath like he was going to say something, but listened to whoever was on the other line instead. He pressed his lips together slightly in disappointment and gave a small nod. Whoever was on the other line was on the other side of that single-sided glass.

“The one on the line say anything worthwhile? I don’t want to miss a single thing going on around here,” I said. I would never get tired of this job. Way too much fun, watching ponies squirm while I was indifferent to anything -and everything- they said. Once, a Marshall told me I was sentenced to death by hanging, and I just started laughing. He just stood there awkwardly as I giggled. Ah, good times.

“Ms. Shadow? Your requests will be granted. I will be your escort to President Baer and to a country of your choice. The money will be delivered to you soon,” he finally said. I didn’t believe it. I could finally kill the mare, then and there, especially with him with me. Portable shield, much? But, alas, I need to pretend that’s bad. Nobody has caught on to my trend yet, so let’s just go for it.

“Now, now. We both know that’s not going to work, sugar. No escort when I go to see her. Just yours truly, please and thank you,” I said curtly.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t clear that. Any individual who goes to see President Baer must have at least one military or law official with them at all times. That’s the rules, not that you ever minded them anyway,” he replied. I was getting sick of him, such a stiff. I’ll fix that issue later.

“Fine. Get me out of these stupid cuffs and onto the road. The Grand Office is about… 51 minutes away from here, maybe? I was planning to arrive before sunset.”

“You’ve really thought this out, haven’t you?” Storm asked. I chose to ignore him.

“Man, those straps were on my wings for so long I never thought they would see sunlight again. Next time you have someone in there, don’t put the darn thing on so tight, would ya?” I said. This time, he ignored me. How cute.

“Let’s go. No time to waste, just like you said,” He said as he led me into a police van. He opened the passenger door for me and waited until I got in.

“How polite of you,” I said as I got into the van. He came around the other side and began to turn the engine on as I hear something. A small clink, as if someone had dropped a keychain on a metal surface. I rolled my eyes and turned my head towards the back of the van. Nothing back there except a small storage area. So obvious, but kudos for their effort.

“You guys are gettin’ good, now! I never would have noticed your friend back there. He has to go. It’s not like I’m going to kill anyone today,” I said.

“I-I don’t know what you’re talking about. There’s nobody back there, if you want to come back and look,” Storm said incredulously. It’s almost as if he didn’t know. Maybe they didn’t tell him for secrecy purposes or something. I got out of the car and went to the back. I opened the double doors and saw relatively nothing. Just like I had seen up at the front, except it felt different.

There was a really obvious space between the seats and the back. I stepped inside the back of the van and looked around a little. It looked as if there wasn’t a thing back there, but I’ve been in this situation before. I looked closer at the bottom of the van when I saw a small loop welded to a square on the side of the van.

“You guys are so funny. I love it,” I said as I tugged the loop. A metal door flipped upwards to reveal a policeman, hiding in a small niche, probably another guard to kill me if I tried to kill Storm.

“Out ya go now. I asked for one guard, and that’s what I’ll get. Y’all are already breaking your promises,” I said. The pony crawled out and was met by another pony, this one was a stallion. He looked like a police sheriff, straight from the books. He had graying hair, bags under his eyes, and a slight limp in his walk.

“Now, now. I’m sorry for the… mistake we had made. She’s gone, so let’s just move it along,” the sheriff said in a gruff and unpleasant tone.

“I’m afraid I cannot do that. Where’s my money, by the way?” I said. It was about time that I got out of here.

The sheriff tossed a black duffel bag at my hooves. Jeez, was this guy, like, the most generic person in the world or something? I picked up the bag anyway and tossed it into the car. I shut the back doors and turned back around to the sheriff.

“Sheriff, I need to ask ya somethin’ before I go. Very urgent,” I said.

“We aren’t going to give you anything else, negotiating-“

“I’m offended that you’d think that’s what I’m lookin’ for darlin’,” I interrupted.

“I wanted to ask you this hon. What did my mother say before you killed her?” I pulled out my shotgun and fired at Storm and the other officer. They crumpled to the ground. I shot towards him and heard him cry out in pain.

“Why are you doing this? Agh, my leg!” he said.

“Stop ya whining. And if you try to call for help I’ll shoot you where it hurts a whole lot more. I said, what did my momma say before ya killed her?” I said, stepping closer and putting the gun to his head. I didn’t care for killing ponies, but the unexperienced ones would have immediately called for help, and I couldn’t have that.

“She didn’t s-say anything. She just… fell, I guess,” he muttered.

“I know what she looked like, I was there, you twit. What did she say?” I asked. I wanted to shoot his other arm too, but I’m not going to needlessly shoot anyone. I hurt his shooting hoof, and that’s enough for me.

“Well, she said something about… a Daniel. She said to go see him and he would help you with anything,” The sheriff confessed with a shaky voice.

“You see? That wasn’t hard at all. Simple,” I said. I turned around and walked towards the car, ready to go. I didn’t give two craps about the President. I just needed a police car. I had just reached down to pick up the keys that Storm had dropped when I shot him when I heard the click of a loaded gun. I hate ambedextrious shooters.

“You’re not leaving here. You have to come with me. You’re being arrested,” the sheriff said. I smirked and turned back towards him. He shot at me, and I dropped to the ground, gravel scraping my chin. I got up again and ran towards him. I tackled him to the ground, the shock of hitting the cold concrete floor still making my stomach sting, and tried to hit him with the butt of my gun. He dodged, and swung at me. We struggled for a bit, too close to use our guns on each other. I knew that he would tire first, and I’m pretty sure he knew that too. We stood and observed each other.

“It seems that we’ve come to a standstill,” he said, wiping a drop of blood from the corner of his mouth.

“What charges will I get if I go with you?” I asked.

“If you come without a fight, I can get you 30 years in federal prison. You should be getting the death penalty,” he said.

“Well, fine. I’ll find a way,” I said, tossing my gun to the side. The sheriff holstered his gun and took a pair of cuffs out.

“I’m glad you made the right decision. Let’s go,” he said. He put one cuff on and I made my move. I grabbed the gun from his holster and made two quick shots.

“Standstill my butt. You’re too easy,” I said to myself. I continued to the van again and made my way onto the main road. I needed to get far away, especially since I had just killed the leader of the main defense department.

“Nice job, Speedy. Ya’ve gone and killed more innocents. I hate this stupid job,” I muttered. Eh, no time to think about something as small as that. I had to go.