Captive of a Changeling Bride

by Kyromancer

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, Dark, Alternate Universe, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Queen Chrysalis, Adventure
Length: 9013

If anyone needs anymore reasons to hate weddings, being captured by bug ponies should at least be in the top 50.

When someone is forced to a wedding, there are three basic rules they need to abide by, 'Don't talk to the bride', 'Don't insult the bride', and most importantly, 'Don't Fuck the Bride'. But what happens when the bride turns out to be the leader of a race of parasites? To answer that question the hidden rule of 'Don't kill the bride' can be tossed out the window.

Published 2015-11-24 20:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-24 20:00:01 UTC

Meeting Princess Cadenzia

“I fucking hate weddings” I growled to the rhythm of the train .

“We know-” Rainbow Dash muttered “You’ve been complaining about it for FOUR HOURS”

“Complaining is the only thing I have now-” I snapped tossing two bits into the treasure pile “-Even Twilight has an issue with this wedding”

“Only because the groom is my brother” Twilight answered placing her cards face down on the table.

“So why do you hate weddings?” Applejack asked.

“They represent most of what I hate about society” I growled sliding all my bits into the pile.

“Love?” Rarity guessed.

“Tying the knot?” Pinkie inquired.

“Family?” Applejack snipped.

“Religion, control and monogamy. Society expects us to follow some social protocol that’s been drilled into the minds of our ancestors long before Celestia ruled, with marriage it gives someone a reason to not feel guilty for having sex. Religion succeeds in brainwashing someone into believing that giving into primal urges that have existed to us long before it decided to claw its way through the generations making all who listen to ignorant hypocrites that tell them to believe that some all knowing tyrant in the sky will keep them from being murdered when they (and only they) can get themselves out of the situation. Sadly they think that self defense leads to killing someone and even if that someone was responsible for a multitude of deaths, they would simply repeat what they swallowed and say it’s not their job to decide whether or not that murderer should die by their hooves and send them to corrupt bureaucrats who will give said murderer a bigger chance of walking free.”

“And monogamy?” Fluttershy asked.

“Most marriages I’ve heard of ended when one of the spouses cheated, how’s this one going to be any different?” I shrugged and showed my cards… a royal flush

“MOTHERFUCKER!” Rainbow shouted slamming her hooves on the table nearly sending the treasure pile onto the floor.

“Another round?” I asked shuffling the cards.

“I’M NOT GOING TO PLAY ANY MORE POKER IF YOU KEEP CHEATING!!” she screamed.

“Then how bout liar’s dice?” I said reaching into my suitcase and pulled out seven wooden cups and 35 different colored dice (five dice for each player).

“How did you even pack these?” Rarity asked taking the purple dice.

“Packed them up while you were complaining about the vests” I answered taking the red set dice while Applejack took the green set,

Fluttershy took the black set, blue was taken by Twilight, and Pink by Pinkie, leaving Rainbow the orange set.

“Bet you’ll win anyways” Rainbow growled as I placed the bag of treasure back on the table as the prize.
Unfortunately, we never had time to even shake the cups since we passed through a pink shield… Canterlot had beefed up security.

“What’d you do Frosty?” Rainbow growled as I placed the cups and dice back into the suit case.

“Don’t know Dashie-” I mumbled as I put the cups and dice back into the suit case “maybe their paranoid that you’ll destroy another public art piece”

Before Rainbow can say another word the train doors opened and a group of guards rushed in slamming a baton against my jaw then forced me onto the floor.

“Never thought I’d see you again” a guard sighed.

“Shiny is that you?” I gagged as the baton was pressed against my throat forcing me to look up at the displeased guard captain.

“Shining!” Twilight shouted using her magic to lift the baton off my windpipe.

“This is your brother?” I coughed as Pinkie helped me up “Don’t see the resemblance.”

“Forget that!-“Rainbow shouted “-how do you two know each other!?”

“We crossed pass each other a few times when he was a recruit in Saddle Arabia-” I answered “Always knew he’d make guard captain with that stick up his ass”

Shining nods to the guards and they leave the train

“One day I’ll beat you to death with it” he growled.

“With how long it is? Highly unlikely.” I scoffed.

Shining rolled his eyes and led us out the train and stopped at the stairs to battlements grabbed a spear out of one of the stocks, turned to me and pointed it at my throat.

“This is as far as you go” he ordered despite the protest of the others we just stared into each other’s eyes, waiting for one’s nerves to break and move in for the kill… but we never got the chance when Twilight stepped between us again and started to interrogate him about his bride-to-be, I stepped back as they climbed the stairs… the last thing I heard was that the bride was Twilight’s old foalsitter.

Six hours later the sun went down and I found myself on a balcony overlooking the clean streets of Canterlot smoking a big fat cigar, the moonlight pierced through the smoke but I turned towards the door when I smelled the faint scent of pineapples to see a tall, pink, alicorn standing in the shadows.

“Princess Cadenzia I presume?” I shrugged turning my attention back to the streets.

“What gave me away?” She giggled mischievously as I heard her walk forward till the tropical scent was just inches away.

“Twilight did some weird dance when she saw you… cigar?” I opened a leather pouch filled with ten neatly lined cigars.

“Sure” She answered.

I looked towards her to see a cigar being lifted by an emerald aura as she placed it into her mouth, she lit a match and the flames danced in her purple eyes.

“It’s rude to stare” She smirked as she blew a smoke heart.

“Never met a princess who would willingly agree for a smoke” I shrugged.

“I think you’ll find I’m not like most princesses” she said as she turned towards me.

I caught a glimpse of her blue heart cutie mark than everything felt cold when she gave me a seductive grin.

“Like what you see?” she asked.

I threw the remainder of my cigar into the streets and lit a new one.

“So what possessed you to marry a grunt like Shiny?” I asked.

“I don’t see how that’s any of your concern since the concept of intimacy appalls you-” She growled “-and since we’re on the subject of my husband, how do you know him when he’s never told me about you?”

“We crossed paths when he was a recruit.” I answered as half the cinders of the new cigar fell onto the railing.

“There’s more to it than that.” She pried moving closer.

“I ‘helped’ him on a few guard cases in Saddle Arabia” I answered as the hairs on the back of my neck stood.

“You were a guard?” she tried to hide the surprise in her voice.

“A thief, I gave him information about a certain individual and if he decided to meet said individual I would follow him if the individual was a wanted criminal I would make sure there wouldn’t be any collateral damage”

“So you were a spy.” She mumbled as a plume of smoke obscured her eyes, at the time I thought it was the moonlight wafting through the smoke that made them flash green.

“When you put it like that… maybe I was.” I said looking back towards the street.

Before she could ask any further the door opened and Celestia tried to hold back her laugh.

“I knew you’d be a bad influence Frostbite” she said.

“Then why bother inviting me?” I mumbled.

“Because it’s part of your sentence.” She grinned

“So I’m also guessing that I’ll have to escort both of you to the main hall for some rehearsal?” I snorted throwing the remainder of my cigar over the railings only for Celestia to grab it in her magic and threw it into an ash tray that was near the door.

“Why thank you Frostbite! I think some of Twilight’s influence is finally rubbing off on you.” Celestia gasped wrapping her wing around my shoulder and pulled me inside.

We entered a hall Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and Shining Armor stood in front of a wedding arch although instead of walking next to them I took a seat at the dining table.
Celestia took her place beneath the arch and began giving the instructions on how the wedding would go, what they would say how long the reception would last before they could leave… I started to blackout when the doors slammed open and Twilight rushed in pointed at Cadance and shouted “She’s evil” telling us how she placed her brother under some spell that made his eyes go loony naturally Cadance ran out in tears, Shining kicked her out of the wedding and no one, not even Celestia herself believed her. When I got up to leave, Twilight practically launched herself at my hooves begging me to believe her I brushed passed her and left the room, part of me told me to stay… instead I just shook her off and walked out. I was barely at the end of the hall when I looked back and saw a pulsing green flash fill the doorway; I shrugged off the feeling of unease… although I still think if I saw what happened, I would have told the queen that she just cost her own invasion by sending Twilight wherever she was sent.

The Invasion

The next day I woke up when Pinkie crashed into my room telling me to get ready for the main event, after hours of complaining from Rarity I wore a black vest and tie with gold framed sun glasses then we walked into the crowded main hall and Pinkie and Rarity took their place at the wedding arch leaving me sandwiched in between two fat motherfuckers who drenched the floor beneath them with sweat when the music started we stood and turned to see Cadence walking down the aisle. Once I caught a glimpse of her malicious smile, the knot in my gut began to tighten as I searched the room to see four other ponies with the same grin we sat back down and the fat fucker sitting to my right was also smiling. I looked at Shining to see an emerald film over his eyes. I slowly took off my glasses, broke the lenses out of the frames and twisted the wires into a screw then the doors slammed open and there Twilight stood along with the real Princess Cadence everyone stood in shock while I was more fixated on the goo sticking to her hooves, I turned back to the bride as she was engulfed in a bright green flame, the gown burned off the pink coat faded to a dull black while her gold and pink mane was reduced to a cerulean web. The queen giggled as the remaining guests ran out of the room as the other four guests were engulfed in bright green fires, before the fat fuck next to me was obscured by his fire I stabbed the glasses into his throat making him lurch forward and crashed to the floor sending all eyes towards me.

“Impressive-“the queen laughed as I ripped off my vest“-maybe it WAS a mistake not to send you to the mines when you witnessed Twilight’s removal from my wedding” she stepped forward and charged her horn.

“Looks like they got out just fine without me” I said when Celestia teleported in front of me.

“If you have a quarrel with him then it shall be with me creature” She growled charging her horn with her bright yellow aura.
I jumped towards one of the windows when the queen unleashed beams of pure magic for one brief second it looked like Celestia would win then I blinked just in time to see her launched ten feet across the marble floor.

“Bravie, bravie, bravisima!” I sang as Twilight and the six rushed to Celestia aid while Cadance tried to snap Shining out of his trance when a loud blast shook the castle and the pink shield surrounding Canterlot evaporated ,screams began to fill the air as the room began to fill with changelings I turned to the queen and shouted “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to jump out a window, kill as many of your subjects as I can come back to this room and have a civilized chat with you about how far this little invasion will send you.”

Even though the windows were opened, I grabbed a chair threw it at the glass and jumped into the shards in mid-fall two of the changelings from the main hall flew after me, I grabbed a few of the glass shards and threw them in between the bug ponies’ eyes staining the white marble walls of the castle with a noxious black slime, I looked down an alleyway to see a violet Pegasus mare surrounded by four more changelings, without hesitation I slammed into one of them launching it into a nearby dumpster and used the last two glass shards leaving the last one to back away and charge its magic.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?” the mare shouted as I held her between me and the changeling, I barely had time to blink when she was shot with thick neon green goo.

The changeling looked at me with amusement until I threw the mare at it; before it could use its magic again, I jumped onto its horn filling the streets with a bright green flash then as it hissed at me; I grabbed its throat and looked into its dull aquamarine eyes.

“Do you speak?” I asked, the Changeling let out an even angrier hiss and thrashed under the mare’s body until I gripped its neck harder and started to bend “Do.You.speak. Motherfucker?” I growled.

The changeling stopped thrashing and a familiar sneer stretched across its mouth.

“Yes, no, maybe what’s it to you… motherfucker?” It spoke copying my voice down to the last vowel.

“So you can copy me-“I scoffed “-is that supposed to scare me?”

“It does with most your kind… but you’re not like your kind it seems, but seeing as I have the upper hoof, I suppose I can answer some questions IF you let go of my throat.”

I look up to see around a dozen changelings blocking the alleyway ready to fire whatever green goo that was shot at the mare though when I looked into her white eyes, they were darting back and forth like a junkie on withdraw.

“As you can see your kind is worth more to us alive” It laughed.

I looked back at the Changeling then up at the rooftops more than fifty changelings surrounded me yet they didn’t attack. What are you waiting for? I thought.

“As you can see even we value the lives of our comrades, let me go and we’ll give you a five second head start” The Changeling said as I looked down the left wall, chuckled and spread my wings.

“Two seconds” I whispered as I jumped onto the Changeling’s skull and darted through one of the windows. The shattering glass blocked out the screams of the family of the house, I looked on the walls and saw a sword and shield hanging over the hearth.

“Fake” I muttered when a bright green flash blew the entire front room in half.

I lunged towards the fire poker when a changeling darted through the debris, I swung the iron stick and it me its mark on the bug’s skull. Since the log sifter was never meant for combat, it bent with each strike until it finally broke off in the Changeling’s head.

“Look out!” a stallion shouted when ten more changelings rushed into the room.

The five that came through the window paid no attention to the cowering family and formed a firing squad with the ones that rushed in from the streets. I knew it was a losing battle, knowing that when I killed this group more would come, I let my guard down twice… the first time I should have died and this time I’d be dragged off to some dark cave to have the one emotion I never experienced fed to parasites.
I sighed and let my muscles relax… the adrenaline silenced the screams of those being captured and the destruction of the city. The Changeling’s magic energy was inches away from my chest when an amber unicorn colt with a short silver mane no older than thirteen jumped between me and the Changelings with the shield from the mantle, the magic came into contact with the shield and the colt gave me the sword and I cut off each of the changelings heads with one fell swoop.

“Should have used the sword first dummy” The colt scoffed using a fork to pry the green goo off the shield.

“Nine times out of ten it’s a fake” I said sliding the table to the window “Now if you’ll excuse me I’m going to have a word with the bug queen.”

“Take me with you then” the colt demanded.

“Where I’m going is a one way trip kid if you want to help tell anyone you can find to use anything they can find as a weapon, the guards are won’t help and the princesses are too preoccupied to care.”

“THAT”S A LIE!!!” a deep voice shouted.

I looked back at the other three ponies to see the colt’s father, a fit black earth stallion with a long sleek fire ruby mane walked to the colt and yanked the shield out of his hooves, as he placed the shield back on the mantle I looked at the spot where a cutie mark would have been only to see deep faded scars he then turned to me and held out his hoof waiting for me to hand over the sword I looked deeper into his blood red eyes I saw something… dead.

“What’s your name?” I asked stabbing the sword into the floorboards.

“Valkyrie” he answered as he placed his hoof down but not so he could take the sword.

“Is that your real name or the one you just got used to?” I asked.

“It’s my name” he answered coldly.

“At least you kept yours” I mumbled.

“Please leave my home” he ordered taking the sword out of the floor.

“Do you really think no matter how hard you hide that they won’t find you? How long-“

“SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!” he roared as the cold steel was pressed against my throat, his wife did nothing but the shock in her eyes told me this was the part of her husband she would ask about only to be shut out.

“As you wish-“I walked to the remains of the front door “- but with eyes like ours, there’s no running from our past… true you’ve made it farther than most of us but even a father must do what he can to protect his family even if it means breaking a promise of not showing them his past sins.”

When I stepped out of the house another group of changelings landed in front of me but not to blast me with their magic goo.

“The Queen wishes to see you now-” the commander said in Shining’s voice “-don’t worry about the other drones, after your display she has given us strict orders not to attack or follow you” he then nodded to his followers who hissed and rushed into the house.

I started to head back to the castle when I heard Valkyrie’s wife scream followed by the hiss of the changelings and the sound of blood spatter but it was the smell of oil that made me look back to see the colt shoot out of the house, crushing the changeling commander’s skull with the shield and Valkyrie step out clad in bright silver armor with the sword in his mouth. I turned back around and flew back to the queen knowing that Twilight and the other five would keep most of the swarm busy for awhile.

Negotiations

No point in being quiet I thought standing outside the door to the wedding hall.

“I’m back!” I shouted kicking the door open. The forty or so drones in the room snapped towards me and hissed like a bunch of feral cats until the queen raised her hoof.

“Does this mean you will be negotiating Equestria’s surrender?” she asked levitating a table and chairs beneath Celestia who was wrapped in a glowing cocoon.

“Love what you’ve done with the place-“I chuckled “-seeing Celestia suspended in a cramped slimy cocoon really brings the room together.”

“If only Luna were here, then I’d have the whole set”

I picked up the tattered remains of my vest and fished out the cigar pouch then sat in the chair facing the queen.

“Now then your highness-“I said lighting a cigar “-before we get to any kind of deal, I’ll start with the age old clichéd question of ‘why are you doing this?”

“Equestria has more love than any place I’ve ever encountered-” the queen answered though as I looked through the malice in her eyes I could see a tiny sliver of desperation “-my race needs love in order to survive and now that you’ve seen our true form, if you ruled Equestria would you let us feed in peace?”

“Maybe if you asked nicely, but judging by the look of Shining, he doesn’t look like he has long to last and since you’ve said you’ve been to other countries I can only guess that the ‘love’ ran out, so what will you do when all the love in Equestria runs out?" I looked at the wedding arch and threw my cigar stub past Cadance who was still trying to snap Shining out of his trance.

“She’s been trying to wake him ever since this started-” The queen scoffed as she levitated two more cigars placed them in her mouth, lit them and gave one to me “-and to answer your question, yes eventually our feed bags will die but Equestria has enough love to sustain us for centuries and when we run out we’ll-”

“Take over another country?” I interrupted “Fine keep taking over all the countries you can find until the planet is nothing but Changelings, what will you do when you start to starve again and your subjects start finding out there was another way to feed without conquest? To tell you the truth I don’t give a shit about what you do, if I’m dead by the time that happens the what’s the point in worrying? But know this; if you do happen to take me alive… you will not find any form of love from me.”

“We have other ways of feeding-“the queen growled “-but we're not here to talk about my eating habits, what do you possibly have to offer that could make me call of my attack and allow our races to coexist in peace without a war breaking out?”

“We split the territories“I answered looking up at Celestia to see a mix of shock and rage somehow if I could hear her thoughts she would have probably said ‘To the mines’.

The queen stamped out her cigar then conjured a map and an ink quill.

“And just what part of Equestria would you give us?” She asked.

“The entire west coast-“I answered taking the quill and tracing across the long land mass “-we can also establish trade routes, allow your subjects to work in various buildings in which their only payment will be love but not enough love to turn their boss into a drooling zombie. Any newborn or young changeling will be placed in a public school (if you decide to do so) and pony scientists will work with changeling scientists to create a synthetic form of love that can keep your race fed without having to resort to another invasion. All we ask of you is to stay in your normal forms so other ponies can get used to having a bug pony as their next door neighbor.”

“Tempting-“the queen muttered taking the quill “-but you do realize that we’ll need a city to be our capital”

“Take seaddle-” I suggested “-sure there’ll be too much rain in some seasons but it’ll give miss sun butt up the reassurance she wants in keeping an eye on you.”

“I do like the rain” the queen shrugged as a changeling with a monocle walked up with a treaty the queen levitated the treaty and gave it to me, I looked over each sentence as if it were a death warrant that would send me to a slow and painful death if I signed it but written, clear as day, word for word, was my agreement to split the land, giving the changelings education, making sure that they were given a chance to live without being hunted like animals and all I had to do was sign on the dotted line ordained with the royal seal.

“You do realize my signature’s useless since I’m neither royalty nor a princess.” I said placing the treaty on the table.

“Yes but in your absence, Celestia saw fit to give you enough diplomatic power to ensure the safety of Equestria if she and Luna were somehow incapacitated”

A systematic chuckle reverberated off the walls as the quill was levitated into my hoof in all honesty I though the six would crash into the room during the negotiation… time came to a standstill as the tip of the quill touched the line… a bright pink flash filled the room and everything went dark the last thing I felt was the wind in my feathers and the hot dry air of the wasteland.

The Queen

I wake up to the familiar sound screams from other food bags and try to move my hooves to walk when I hear the snapping of my joints and I realize I’ve been suspended off the ground like a fucking marionette… they’ve kept me in this narrow cell were the only window I have shows a black tower through the engulfing sandstorms while the screams of captured feed bags echo from the spire as its neon green glow pierces through the sand, the first week they sawed off my right wing and cauterized the nerves, the second week the sliced my throat, for six months they starved me while breaking every bone in my body only to use their magic to reset them, now they’ve ripped my left wing out of its socket and left me to bleed stabbing more meat hooks into my hooves keeping suspending me off the ground like a butchered pig. They never speak… after a while I stopped counting days and focus on them continuously beating the shit out of me until the queen sees fit that I’ve had enough then they use the salve to heal most of the damage but she would only watch, now she holds a curved skinning knife in her magic aura; trying her best to hide her blush.

“You poor thing-“The queen chuckles as the knife peels off another patch of skin “-six months you’ve been here… do you even know when you were born?” she grabs a pair of pliers and pulls out one of my back teeth.

“Yesterday, April 14th” I gag.

“How do you know what day it was?” The queen asks raising her eyebrow.

“It was around this time the orphan master would beat me into a coma. I think it’s pretty funny I found out in only two weeks after I escaped his prison.”

“And when did you find out?” she asks scraping the knife against my chin.

“When I tracked down the fucking zealots that burned my mother aGLAAAK-“she slams the pommel of the knife into my throat tearing at the stitches.

“Watch your tongue little one-“She whispers “-otherwise I’ll have to rip it out again”

“Bottom line is-“I retch “-I found the village I was born in, I broke into the town hall and found my mother’s death warrant ‘a heretical whore’ it said ‘cleansed by fire for not turning over the demon spawn nor seeking penance for mating outside the bloodline’ do you know what I did?”

“Cried and forgave them?” she laughs putting the knife on an iron slab and levitates a spiked club.

“I burned that cesspit to the fucking ground-“I plant my lower hooves into the wall and lurch forward “-Every single stallion, mare and foal reduced to nothing but ash while they prayed to their old gods. Any fool that tried to stop me, I would kill them a lot more painfully than any fire could so if you’re going to kill me then GET IT OVER WITH!!!”

“Why?” She asks as she swings the club across my left leg… the cell fills with a reverberating CRACK!! I look down to see a bone protruding from it.

“BECAUSE IF YOU KILL ME… YOU KILL AN ELEMENT OF HARMONY”

She arches her eyebrow again and looks out the window towards the spire.

“What do you mean?” She asks turning back to the table.

“You didn’t feel it?” I laugh “The presence in sun ass’s dungeon? The owner of that aura placed a spell on me so that if I die so does the element I’m bound to.”

“And why would you tell me this if you have nothing to gain?” she levitates the whip.

“If I die, then he dies too. Celestia promised me my freedom but the only thing stopping me is having to find the alter egos of The Elements of Harmony”

The queen puts the whip back on the slab takes the vial away from one of the guards and pours some of the elixir on the bone setting it back in place.

“The Elements of Dissonance?” She scoffs.

Blindsided again… I go limp, fall back against wall, once heat returns to my joints I look at the queen and she looks back at me, she doesn’t take any of the other tools off the table.

“Leave us” she says, the guards look to each other and leave the room, the queen walks closer but not to take hooks out of my hooves or dig them deeper.

“Your friend in the dungeon came to me once saying he would help the changelings become the dominant race in all the lands and all he asked for was a position on the front lines in the armies… when I asked him why he would do this he said ‘Because I feel sorry for you’ naturally I was offended, refused his offer and seeing how skinny he was I ordered my drones to kill him-“

“I take it that didn’t end well” I scoff.

“Changelings are connected by a single consciousness when one of us dies we all feel it. You may have only killed 15 of us, but try to imagine dying 300 times to the point of begging for a quick death” She walks forward, I can hear the sincerity in her voice… a part of me is saying it’s another con before she yanks on the chains make me dance, while the other tells me I’m already dead, just say the right words so she can rip these fucking stitches out and end this bullshit.

“I’ve been begging for death since I was five, if you think that Equestrians would treat Changelings worse because of the way they look try digging into my head and see what they do to a child of their own kind that could fit in, if he only needed to rip his own eyes out! Newsflash your highness NOBODY is going to care if I die and since you attempted to sack the capital of Equestria we now have something in common. When they find me, your cities will burn to the ground and if they find you alive… your pretty head will roll by the end of the day.”

“And why are you so worried about my pretty head?” she tilts her head; her sultry grin throws shivers down my spine.

“If you recall to what I said back in Canterlot about all the love running out? I’m hoping you’ll start to see things from my perspective. I may be a killer but what makes me truly dangerous is that I can see different opportunities to a situation that can benefit all sides and some don’t even have me getting involved”

“Then why don’t you join us? I could even give you your own armor, a battalion, just imagine your cutie mark adorned on a red banner as it flies across the battlefield, and imagine a castle where all those who made your life hell would brought to your hooves, their fates for you to decide as you sit from your throne.” She skulks forward her green snake tongue swirls around her lips.

“Don’t you think me being tortured for the past six months will affect my decision” I chuckle.

“It was this or have you dipped in an acid bath, after all since a killer of our kind was expelled from Canterlot with us, some of my subjects are under the delusion that you could be one of us.”

She stands on her hind legs and plants her hooves onto my chest her lips inches away from mine.

“So the Elements of Dissonance are bullshit.” I growl.

“I’m afraid so darling” she whispers.

Before her forked tongue can slide its way past my teeth… a slow maniacal cackle fills the room.

“Do you really think I actually cared about helping you?” I laugh “I only suggested bringing peace to the changelings because I was in the city! I don’t give a shit about what happens to any of you I could’ve just swam through the fucking sewers and lived the rest of my days on some bug infested island”

Bullseye motherfucker. She steps away from me, almost knocking the table over and her mood turns from rejected to royally pissed off in half a second. She snaps away from me and slams on the door.

“Guard! Have this thing made an example of… it’s just another pony.”

At long last the hooks are ripped out of my hooves and I crash face first into a bucket of my own shit. Smooth, oily black hooves wrap around my legs then drag me out the cell across a blood stained hallway filled with other cells, the gates opens and I’m greeted with sand floored arena echoing with the cheers of angry Changelings, the guards who dragged me throw me into a pit and fill it with sand, then two bulk changelings throw a bucket of water on me to wash off the shit, then slather honey over every inch of my face, even my eyes. I look past the gold haze to see the queen standing in a field of tall ant colonies with a lit torch in her magical aura… she points the torch at me and the crowd goes silent.

“Before us-“She shouts “-is a Pegasus who had the audacity to defend a nation we had claimed for ourselves and kill our family, he then told us of a way to be live in peace among his kind but the promise of peace was just hallow words meant to force us into exile! So I ask of you my loyal subjects; what do we say about his treachery?”

She holds the torch under my chin and the tip of the flame dances around the honey making most of it melt off my eyes while the crowd roars and stomps from the seats like battle drums hissing “death!” the queen walks back to the ants and holds the torch over the chute the tallest colony I can almost see one of the red bastards when someone shouts “LIFE!” silence fills the arena again as all eyes turn to a changeling however instead of the same dull blue eyes this one has yellow eyes.

“And why should we let it live?” the queen asks.

“Because he is right-“the changeling answers flying onto the sand “-if we are meant to survive without fear of exile, we should renegotiate with the princesses”

“And if we do what do you think their terms will be if not for my execution?” The crowd roars in agreement with their queen but the Changeling doesn’t move “But the more important question is… who are you?” the queen’s muscles clench but the torch doesn’t leave its place.

“My queen?” the changeling cautiously steps back.

“Why can’t I hear your voice?” the queen’s voice quivers as some of the other Changelings begin to stand and three more jump behind the golden eyed changeling.

“Ah yes… where my manners-“the changeling laughs and bows his head “-we are the unclean ones and we are here for your prisoner” the changelings are engulfed in bright red fire and their scales change from black to white, pink, yellow, and blue.

The queen screams, drops the torch down the chute and fires at the four brightly colored Changelings… within seconds the sand turns red as millions of fire ants rush out of the burning colony, any movement I make pulls me deeper into the sand so I start twisting, choking to death on sand is nothing compared to being eaten alive by these fuckers. I unhinge my jaw and start filling my mouth with sand when part of the ceiling implodes and sends fire raining onto the remaining ant towers… fire bursts out of the holes and a body falls between me and the red swarm engulfs it and stops moving. I reset my jaw, spit out the sand; the smoke obscures any sign of the queen or the four shapeshifters. I try to pull myself up again when something else lands next to me.

“Damn Frosty! You smell like shit!” A familiar voice shouts over the screams.

“It’s a new Prench perfume Dashie! Maybe you should try some when I’m not on the verge of BEING EATEN ALIVE BY ANTS?!” I yell twisting deeper into the ground forcing more sand to stick to the honey.

“Eesh always thinking about yourself… maybe I should move this body over and see whether they’d choose size over sweetness”

“Enough Rainbow! This concealment spell won’t last if you two keep bickering!” Twilight hisses lifting me out of the sand.

After a bright pink flash surrounds us, I find myself on a gurney in a nurse’s tent surrounded by other wounded soldiers.

“This him?” a nurse asks wiping the honey off my face and placing gauze over my chest, neck and wing stubs.

“And here I thought pinkeye was the least of your worries” Rainbow shrugs then turns to leave the tent

“Where are you going?” Twilight snaps.

“To tell the princesses we have Frostbite so we can get the fuck out of here” Rainbow growls.

“Why Rainbow-“I gag as the nurse puts a wet washcloth over my eyes “-I think my survival instinct is rubbing off on you”

“Hey if it weren’t for the fact that Fluttershy was dying I’d be on the front lines myself! Plus if it weren’t for her we wouldn’t have known where you were or if you were even alive!”

This bit catches my attention as I remove the cloth from my eyes, sit up and look through the tent flaps when a wheelchair is rammed into the gurney.

“Want to see?” Rainbow smirks.

I place a hoof onto the wheelchair when Twilight lifts me onto it and opens rolls me back into the desert. We round a cliff wall and a soldier is rushed passed us, her screams bounce of the rocks as blood slides out of her left eye and the stubs of her legs. I look to the sound of thunder and swords to see rows of trebuchets, ballista, cannons, and Gatling guns all aimed at the spire.

“What’s he doing here?!” the voice of Princess Celestia makes whoever’s holding the chair spin almost launching me into the rocks when I meet the eyes of Celestia wearing gold armor, her mane a familiar dull pink tied in a bun and a massive war hammer grasped in her magic aura.

“He wanted-“Twilight starts to answer when Celestia shoots her a menacing glare then looks at the spire.

“RUNNER!!” she shouts.

Within a ten seconds, a scrawny stallion rushes up to the princess’

“Tell the officers to sound the retreat… the cookies have left the oven” she mumbles the last half but the stallion salutes her and speeds off.

“I take it that was Pinkie’s idea?” I shout over the cannon fire.

“Shut up!” Celestia shouts and glares at Rainbow “Take him back to the tent and make sure he doesn’t leave your sight until we’re back in Canterlot!”

Without a second glace she turns around and teleports to a trebuchet and launches a rainbow colored ballistic at the spire… the ball makes contact with the spire and the green orb pulses turning the entire tower and everything up to the battlements into glass, when the soldiers start to cheer I feel a sharp prick on the back of my neck and everything fades… some welcome this turned out to be.

Appeal

Appeal

I wake up to feel the softness of a royal bed, I take a deep breath and rub my throat no signs of stitches or a scar as my eyes adjust I see princess Luna sitting at the edge of the bed, behind her are seven guards, Twilight and Cadence though amidst the silent crowd was a sun bleached, bald, white eyed, unicorn. I try to move when Luna places her hooves on my shoulders and pushes me back to the bed.

“What?” I ask.

“This stallion claimed he is an old companion of yours-” Luna answers cautiously “-so against our better judgment we allowed him to… replace your wings.”

“Replace my-“I move what used to be the stubs of my wings only to see feathers made out of brass. “-well that saves me the cost of having to buy feather guards… good to see you again Red” I sigh folding the metal wings back to my sides.

“Likewise, Frostbite-” Red bows “-and let me tell you that with the use of my magic I was able to make these wings bullet proof, rust resistant and the same weight as a regular feather.”

“Good to know-“I chuckle but the mood doesn’t last “-but Red… I think it would be best to get IT out of the way” I state.

“Get what out of the way?” Twilight asks.

“Don’t do anything stupid” I order to everyone as the sun bleached stallion steps forward.

Red activates his magic and blue flames surround him, everyone gasps and the guards draw their swords. I try to jump between them and the flames but Luna holds me in place.

“He’s a-“Cadance whispers.

When the flames finally dissipate, a teal eyed crimson changeling stands before us.

“Why is it-“Twilight begins ask before Red holds up a hoof.

“I believe I can speak for myself but I will only say this once, so don’t interrupt. I know you now have a blind prejudice towards changelings and believe me my race is just as angered by their existence as you are. You all wonder what I am… I am part of what the changelings consider an unclean bloodline they call ‘Catalysts’ we look like drones yet we are cut off from the hive mind that a queen uses to issue orders, we can only shape shift into one different form depending on our dominant skeletal structure (in my case a unicorn), we also have the ability to feed on other emotions besides love depending on our scale color… for me I can feed on hatred and fear. We can also eat regular food but because of certain chemicals in our DNA, it can sometimes cause a fatal reaction if we eat it and that’s all I’ll say on the matter for now. I need to ask that all of you to leave the room so I can talk to my patient”

Without question everyone leaves.

“What did you do Red?” I growl using the metal wings to propel me out of the bed.

“I was able to heal nerve damage on your wings and undid some of Sing’s magic but-”

“But?” I interject.

“I could only break the bond between you and Fluttershy, Princess Celestia said that you’re more of a liability so until these Elements of Dissonance are found-”

“The Elements don’t exist!” I shout using my new wings to slice a mirror in half…the crimson changeling doesn’t flinch.

“Be that as it may, they still want proof. You can lie all you want; but even bringing in the heads of random criminals will only fuel their fear towards you and giving you more chances to be locked up like Gin.”

I shut my eyes take a deep breath, and flex my ‘wings’ as I breath out.

“If that’s the case-“I sigh “-then I need to call in another one of the favors you owe me.

“As you wish Frost” Red growls changing back into his original disguise then leaves the room.

Cadence

I visited Fluttershy in the hospital although she’s been in a coma for three months the doctors say she’ll pull through, to make matters worse I find out that Cadence held off her wedding so the castle’s now filled with the sounds of celebrating royals while I stand behind the railing of a balcony, the city streets were repaired back to their original dust free marble and the moon gleams through the cigar smoke when I smell the faint sent of pineapples.

“Princess Cadenzia” I mutter not bothering to turn around.

“Please-“she chuckles “-just call me Cadence”

“Not a fucking chance…Cigar?” I offer holding up the pouch.

“No thank you” She answers keeping her distance.

“Good” I mutter tossing the cigar stub into the streets.

I turn around to see the pink alicorn in her wedding gown, trembling yet still able to keep her gaze even though it’s obscured by the silhouette of the roof.

“What do you want?” I growl.

“I just-“

“Just what? Wanted to see how I was? To see if I was coming back to the crowds of ignorant fucks that blind themselves from reality by hosting bullshit gatherings to make everyone around them feel like their wanted? You think that spending a few weeks in a mineshaft knowing that your fiancé is marrying a doppelganger is anything like waking up to knife slowly stripping away your skin and remembering you’ve been suspended above the ground for six months, letting your own shit and piss run down your legs? I’ve seen things for the past Twenty-four years and do you know what I realize? Nothing matters, there’s no such thing as love, or happiness, just bitterness and hate. A foal can be left for dead, and the world will just keep spinning.”

“You think we abandoned you?” She hisses stepping into the moonlight the film in her eyes shine with rage “When Celestia told me about the spell that…THING placed on you I made sure that we would scour the entire desert to find you.”

“Bullshit… your magic shield threw me out of Canterlot as if it singled me out thinking I was one of the Changelings, I wonder how long it was until Fluttershy started to feel her wings getting ripped off that you decided I was worth the lives lost? The only reason why you decided to rescue me was because if I died, so did Equestria’s defense and the only one who would be remembered is the embodiment of innocence”

“That’s.Not.True.” She snarls as her mascara runs down her cheeks “No matter what you may think, someone will remember you and they won’t remember the bad shit that you may have caused because when you decided to fight the changelings, you gave ponies who were just bakers, poets, and tailors the courage to fight back, you showed them that they didn’t need to rely on guards to defend them, you became their symbol of hope when everything was falling apart around them.”

“Hope is bullshit. Do you think I had any ‘hope’ growing up? Do you think I would delude myself into thinking that someone would take me away from all the shit I’ve gone through? That they could ‘save’ me? The only thing we have to face in life is death and sadly for you, alicorns don’t have the luxury of dying next to their spouse when their shitting and pissing themselves. Death is the only thing in this life that makes sense and it’s the only thing we can’t avoid.”

Silence falls between us… the only thing that can be heard is the muffled sounds of the reception until her breath quickens, next thing I know, a sledgehammer slams into my jaw, and a slender pink hoof grabs my neck as I’m thrust forward to meet the tear filled eyes of a pissed off bride.

“Now listen here you son of a bitch! Do you really think you can ridicule the ones I love and get away with it?! You’ve suffered for too long just so you can shut us out!” I try to protest but her grip tightens “Sure life can sometimes be full of pain but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to find somepony that can ease that pain. I’ve met a lot of ponies that thought their world was ending but when they told me what was making them go through so much pain I told them that no matter what they may think there will always be somepony who cares, somepony who will hug you, kiss you, listen to your pain and sometimes they will even fight to keep you safe no matter what you n=may think Frostbite there will always be somepony who cares.” Her short ragged gasps fill the air if anyone’s listening in; they’re too scared to butt in now.

“You done?” I gag.

Cadence shivers lets go of my neck wipes away the tears and mascara then turns to the door.

“You’re right y’know-“I say boldly when she turns the knob “-Even I’ve seen those who were on the brink of ending it all but they didn’t need to hear anything about someone caring… they just needed a good fuck.”

Without another word Cadence opens the door and slams it, as much as I hate to admit they're right. Sometimes reality needs a punch in the jaw. If we are meant to live in peace ‘adapt or die’ are famous words to live by, with this in mind I jump onto the railing, stand on my hind legs and ready my wings… time to test out the new gear.

Suspended

Suspended

I wake up and find the familiar smell of sulfur hasn’t left my cell… they tore off my wings, they shaved my mane, they shoved hooks into my hooves to keep me suspended off the ground, they even cut my throat… not deep enough to kill me but enough to almost take away my voice then instead of using magic to heal me they used… traditional means.
With each sting of the whip sending me deeper into oblivion I look back to see where I fucked up, but all I can see is another reason to add to the list of why I hate weddings.

The Invitation

The Invitation

It was another month in Ponyville… another month of listening to sentimental bullshit, having drunken blackouts, writing in a pink journal, and working various jobs to ‘contribute’ to society.
I woke up to find myself on the dusty floor of my empty apartment to Pinkie knocking on my door but when I opened it, she somehow teleported to the kitchen and made a prairie oyster.

“How the fuck do you keep doing that?” I growled drinking the oyster.

“Bit in the jar-” She answered pulling a mayo jar over filled with bits out of her mane “-Or did you drink all your wages again?”

“Sure… make fun of the drunk ex-thief” I mumbled placing a bit into the jar.

“Oh please Pinkie will you just give him the letter?” Rarity sighed while opening the curtains.

“Is this my death warrant?” I asked taking the letter with the royal seal out of Pinkie’s hoof.

“Of course not!” Rarity shouted “It’s a wedding invitation.”

“And you guys want me to attend because Princess Celestia made it a part of my sentence?”

“Eeup” Pinkie answered imitating Big Macintosh.

“And when exactly did Celestia send this?” I asked

“Two minutes ago” Rarity whispered.

“And when do we leave?” I started to tap my hoof on the hardwood floor.

“Five minutes” Rarity answered then walked towards my room.

When Rarity entered my room, she screamed loud enough to crack every glass in the apartment!

“What’s wrong?” Pinkie asked hopping towards the source of the scream when Rarity hobbled into the hallway gripping two vests in her magic.

“Th-these vests were made from Neighgyption silk” she gasped.

I looked at the blue and purple vests and even though I didn’t see anything wrong with them, I forgot that Rarity would treat clothes as if she were a fence trading stolen goods.

“They have wrinkles” Rarity gasped again sounding a bit more like she was being strangled.

“So?” I snorted almost making her eyes pop out of her skull.

“THEY’RE MADE FROM NEIGHGYPTION SILK” Rarity snarled, then conjured up a suitcase, threw the vests and a few other clothes into it then stormed out the apartment.

Pinkie nudged me and lifted the jar between my eyes, I threw another bit into the jar walked out the door and said “I fucking hate weddings”