Pinkamena and Diane Pies' Turn on Earth

It was Christmas night, and my parents had joined me on my walk home. After we talked for a while, I decided it was time to retire for the night. Considering the sun was setting while we were walking, and considering we’d been talking in the dining room for hours, I offered my parents a room for the night; and they accepted.

All things considered, it was probably not that surprising that I had so much on my mind, I didn’t notice another presence in my room as I entered and circled around my bed to get ready and go to sleep. It wasn’t until I turned around to peel the blanket from my side of the bed when I first saw a strange pink object there on top of it, on the side opposite of where I sleep. I moved around my bed again, focused on the immobile, yet clearly living, pink mass on my bed. And, I think it was when I was at the foot of my bed that I saw a rolled-up piece of paper, or something like that, not far from the strange object.

At the other side of the bed from where I'd been about to get in, I noticed that the pink mass had a face, and I could already tell from my circling around it that it had a hairy tail, as well as long hair on its head and neck. The hair on the creature’s head, neck and tail were a darker shade of pink than that of the rest of it. And, now that I was getting a better look at it from it’s opposite side, I could see it’s pink face, with a strangely short snout that made me think it might be some sort of dog.

But, the most unusual thing I noticed about this dog(?) was the hair on its head, neck and tail. It’d curl for maybe a second, then remain curly for perhaps another second, then uncurl for another second, then remain straight for one more second. And, while the hair was straight, the hair on the head and neck only ever fell to the one side of the strange creature’s face, momentarily hiding it from me.

I reached for and grabbed the rolled-up paper, removed the ribbon, and unrolled the paper, which felt surprisingly leathery. To myself I read,

“Dear Mormon Iarere Andreassen,

“You’ve been given charge for the present time over this, the bearer of the element of laughter, Pinkamena Diane Pie. She prefers to be called Pinkie Pie.

“She has come to the human world to find the experience she needs to help a friend of hers. And, she has been given seven days, as they are measured in our world of Equestria, to find it; and we understand that one day here is equal to one year in your world. When her time is up, her friends and I will come back for her to bring her back home.

“Rulers of Equestria,

“Princess Celestia Princess Luna.”

Well, from that letter I learned that the creature in my bed was a female, and the bearer of the element of laughter. I had to wonder if that was why her hair seemed to be so oddly out-of-control. Did all Equestrian creatures like her have that kind of hair? But, she was also here to get experience so she could help a friend, whatever that meant. And, wherever she came from, one day in her home world was equal to a year here. And, she had seven of their days to find what she was looking for. And, when her time was up, her friends would come for her, along with this Princess Celestia Princess Luna. Whoever this character was, she knew me by my full name.

I looked at this Pinkamena Diane Pie, who would prefer to be called Pinkie Pie, Pinkie probably being the shorter version of her first name, and I noticed something else next to her, which, to this day, I’m sure hadn’t been there before: a stack of thin plastic containers. I reached out and picked up the whole stack, then looked through them to see that each of the six containers contained a small disc. The first five were marked DVDs, and labeled “My Little Pony Friendship is Magic,” with the word “season” followed by a number, in order from one to five. The last one was marked a CD, and evidently contained, according to the label, files labeled “My Little Dashy” and “Cupcakes.” None of the discs had pictures, meaning that I’d have to watch the videos on the discs to get a better idea of what these "little" ponies looked like.

You know, I think it was then that I realized I was familiar with the show, “My Little Pony.” Of course, it’s target audience was little girls, and those ponies looked different from the creature still asleep in my bed.

More out of curiosity than anything else, I said, “Pinkie Pie?”

The pink creature responded to me speaking its name by opening its eyes, her eyes, and looking up at me; and I wondered what I should do next. Then, after a few seconds, she got up and whinnied at me.

At that point, I knew the creature I was looking at wasn’t a dog, but it was some kind of equine, some kind of horse-like creature. But, what kind of genetic mutation could cause a horse to look like … that? Facially it still looked more like a dog than anything related to a horse. And, there was still the question about it’s mane and tail. Noting that I hadn’t heard anything from the hallway, I could only guess that my parents were still in the kitchen; and I needed advice on what to do next with this pink … pony?

I set the discs, still in their cases, and the letter on the bed far enough away from Pinkie Pie that I figured I could pick her up without intrusion from them, when she immediately started getting up on all fours. I instinctively tried to catch her as she stumbled a bit, but she managed to catch herself and get to her hooves. And, yes, I did see hooves at the end of her legs. And, her mane and tail curled and uncurled in that four-second rhythm.

I sat down next to her and scooped her up in one arm.

She struggled a little until I put my other hand on her back. Then she did something I didn’t expect: she nuzzled my chin and once again whinnied.

What a surprising rush. At that point, as she snuggled into my arms, I had the feeling that I should do as the letter from Princess Celestia Princess Luna had told me to do, and help this pink pony, this Pinkamena Diane Pie, this Pinkie Pie. The only question on my mind at that point was, how was I going to do that? I needed advice, and the closest source of advice available to me was my parents. And, fortunately, they were still there, hopefully in the dining room.

If the rush from being nuzzled by the pink pony was a surprise, it was equally, if not more, surprising that I had the presence of mind to grab the letter from Princess Celestia Princess Luna before I stood up. Then, as I walked to the door with this unusual Christmas present, the thought occurred to me that “Princess Celestia Princess Luna” might be two separate names. After all, it did say “Rulers of Equestria,” not “Ruler of Equestria.” And, the name “Princess Celestia” did, as I remember, seem to have a different style of writing from the name “Princess Luna.” I would have to look into the letter further; but I’m pretty sure, based on what I saw of the writing, that the letter was written by “Princess Celestia.”

A few seconds later, I was opening the door to my dining room, evidently to the surprise of my parents, who, as I expected, were still there. Keeping my back to the door to help keep from hitting Pinkie Pie’s head against the doorway, I said, “You’re not going to believe what I found in my bed just now.” Then I turned around to show them the pink foal in my arms.

If I could put a label on the expressions on my parents’ faces, it would indeed be incredulity, if not confusion. As I let the door close behind me, I just stood there; and my parents just sat there at the table; and for maybe a minute we were motionless. That is, except for Pinkie Pie, who, her mane still curling and uncurling, looked at each of my parents.

Then, my dad asked, “What is that?”

At the question Pinkie Pie emitted an alarmed whinny, then buried her face in my closest arm.

I answered, “I think it’s supposed to be some kind of pony. But, I’ve never seen one that looks like this.” And, at that point, I started walking toward the table.

Then, my mom asked, “Where did it come from?”

I put Pinkie Pie on the table on her hooves before unrolling the letter again and saying, “According to this, some place called Equestria.” After that, I let the letter roll up again before handing it to mom.

Mom laughed in disbelief before unrolling the letter and looking at the writing inside. Then, after reading the letter, she grunted in confusion before letting it roll up again and handing it to dad.

Dad’s response was similar before he handed the letter back to me, except his grunt was more an incredulous snort. As I accepted the letter back, he asked, pointing to the pink filly, “So, what do you plan to do with this Pinkamena Diane Pie?”

I heard the filly start to whinny, which sounded more like a whimper. So, I started stroking her back as I answered, “Well, according to the letter, I need to help her find the experience she needs to help a friend of hers, whatever that means. At any rate, it seems that these rulers of Equestria, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna, want me to take care of her while she’s searching. And, I see no reason why I shouldn’t do what the letter says. I just need help taking care of her.”

Then, mom said, “Well, it seems to me the first thing we need to do is get her checked out at the vet. Once we know what’s making her mane and tail curl and uncurl like that, we should have a better idea of how we, you know, can take care of her.”

I opened my mouth to agree with mom, but then dad asked, “Is that letter all that came with Pinkamena?”

At that point, the whinny that came from the pink filly went from whimpering to growling.

I quickly switched mental gears and said, “According to the letter, she prefers to be called Pinkie.”

Pinkie Pie indeed seemed to prefer that name, as I heard her stop growling, then emit a whinny that sounded like she was grunting in affirmation.

I continued, “And, to answer your question, yes, I did get more than just the letter. I also got some DVDs and one CD. The DVDs, five in total, seem to each contain a season of a show called ‘My Little Pony Friendship is Magic’ on them, and the CD has two files, I guess, on them, called ‘My Little Dashy’ and ‘Cupcakes.’ I don’t know how, but I’m guessing those files are gonna be useful to me.”

Mom asked, “Do you think the ‘Cupcakes’ file is gonna be a recipe or something?”

I answered, “Honestly, I don’t know. I haven’t had a close enough look at any of those discs yet. I’m hoping at least one of those files will have information I can use to help me raise Pinkie Pie.” Then, I backed away from Pinkie Pie as I asked, “Should I go get those discs so you can have a look at ‘em?”

My dad, then my mom, answered affirmatively.

At that point, I used the hand I’d been stroking the pink filly with to point to each of my parents. I said, “Now, Pinkie Pie, this is my mom, and this is my dad. I trust them, and I’m gonna leave you with them while I go get the discs. But, I promise you, I won’t be gone for very long.” And, with that, I stroked Pinkie’s back one more time before heading for the door.

I must admit, I was a bit surprised when, as I reached the kitchen door, I heard Pinkie Pie whinny loudly; and it sounded like she was calling out, “Dad!”

I turned to her and said, “I promise I’ll be back in a few seconds.” And, as I turned and closed the door behind me, I can’t deny that I felt another rush at the thought of the pink pony calling me “dad.” It was a label I’d never had applied to me before; and, I must admit, it felt good to me.

As quickly as I could, I walked to my bedroom, got the discs, and returned to the kitchen so that I could get back to the pink pony as soon as possible. Then when I got back into the kitchen, I found mom holding Pinkie Pie in her arms on the opposite end of the table from me. I asked, “Is everything alright?”

Mom answered, “Apparently Pinkie Pie trusts you more than she trusts us.”

As I approached the table, I said, “Just set Pinkie Pie on the table again, and I’ll hand you the discs so you can have a look at ‘em.”

Mom didn’t say anything more, just set Pinkie Pie on her hooves on the table; and I approached her, that is mom, and handed the discs to her.

After that, I stroked Pinkie Pie’s back as I asked, “Are you alright?” Of course, I didn’t have to ask. I could feel the pink filly trembling under my hand. But, there was another thing I noticed: Pinkie Pie’s mane remained curly.

She looked up at me and, as far as I could tell, whimpered at me. Then, she jumped into my arms and started whinnying loudly. I wouldn’t be surprised if she was crying.

In the mean time, as mom looked at the discs, she read the label aloud, “My Little Pony Friendship is Magic.”

Holding Pinkie Pie the way I would a child, I said, “I’ve heard of the the My Little Pony cartoon show, but not Friendship is Magic. As far as I know, it doesn’t exist.”

At this point, dad restated, “So, you’ve got a pony with a face that looks more like that of a human or a dog, and discs to a show that doesn’t exist.”

I answered, “That sounds about right. Any advice?”

Dad chuckled once, then said, “I’m sorry, but I don’t have any experience with this. The best advice I can give you is raise her like a horse, and solve problems as they arise. But, considering how small she is now, unless she grows fast, keeping her in the house may not be that much of a problem.”

I replied, “Alright, then. So, what can I feed her?”

At this point, mom said, “Well, if you have any apples or carrots, that may be a good thing to start with.”

By this time, Pinkie Pie had calmed down.

Still, I carried her into the kitchen to the refrigerator to see if there were any apples or carrots. Unfortunately, in my search through all the things I had available, I couldn't find any of those. So, still carrying the pink pony in my arms, I went back into the dining area of the kitchen and told my parents what I found, or didn’t find, in the fridge.

Now, mom asked, “Do you have any milk?”

I answered, “Just two percent.”

Mom stated, “Well, if that’s what you have available, then that’ll have to do. Tomorrow we’ll take you and Pinkie Pie to the vet to get her checked out. In the mean time, hopefully she’ll be able to handle the milk.”

Taking mom’s advice, and still carrying Pinkie Pie, I went into the kitchen, got a small bowl, put it on the floor, then put Pinkie Pie next to the bowl. After that, I took the half-gallon bottle of milk out of the fridge and poured some of it into the bowl and watched Pinkie Pie sniff at it. As I put the rest of the milk back in the fridge, I said, “That’s all I have available right now. I hope it's alright. Tomorrow, after we visit the vet, we’ll go to the store and see what we can get for you.”

In response, Pinkie Pie inhaled deeply and exhaled fast, then started licking at the milk. I can only guess it appealed to her, because she drank the rest of it as though it was her first meal in years. And, for all I know, it may have been the first meal of her life. When she was finished, she looked up at me and licked some milk off of her nose.

I asked, “How was that?”

I think she opened her mouth to whinny again, but what came out instead was a belch. And, I think I saw some milk come out as well. And, she then covered her mouth with a forelimb.

As I watched her cover her mouth with a front hoof, the right one I think, I asked, “Are you alright?”

As I knelt down to reach out and touch her, she belched again; and this time a lot of milk came out of her mouth. I can only guess that whatever she was intended to drink, milk, at least from a cow, wasn’t it.

I grabbed a role of paper towels and went to work cleaning up the milk that Pinkie Pie was evidently not able to hold in, off of the floor, off of her forelimb, and off of her mouth. Remembering how much milk I’d given her, and how much she’d vomited up again, I’m guessing that it was just the amount of milk that was the problem, and perhaps not the milk itself.

My next job after that was evidently to comfort the frightened pink filly and let her know things were going to be alright. Then, when she wasn't so scared anymore, I picked her up again and carried her into the dining room again, where mom and dad were still waiting for us.

I let them know what had happened, and that Pinkie Pie seemed to be fine now. Then, as mom and dad went to one of the other bedrooms to sleep, I headed for my room and set Pinkie Pie on the side of the bed next to where I’d be sleeping, on the pillow, then went around to the other side of the bed to sleep where I normally slept.