Hmm, what have we here? A visitor? How odd...not that I’m complaining, of course! Forgive me, I haven’t had a visitor in so long that I’m afraid I’m a little rusty when it comes to playing host. Too long, now that I think about it; I cannot seem to recall the last time I had company overnight. Perhaps you might keep me company until dawn?
You will? Splendid! It greatly pleases me that I should no longer be alone during the long hours of Pinkie's slumber. Solitude is one of the worst things a pony can endure, you know. I can't tell you how acutely depressing it feels when one is constantly aware of being a speck in a vast, indifferent universe. It’s difficult for most creatures to relate to; I imagine you took it for granted how you are constantly surrounded by others, though likely not on purpose. One does tend to grow accustomed to things when they’re around them for so long, after all. As you can imagine, all sorts of interesting thoughts are brought to the forefront of my mind during these periods; sometimes they are quite unpleasant to contemplate.
I'm afraid I wasn't being entirely truthful about my solitude. Well, I was in regards to companionship, but never have I been left alone for more than a short period of time. You don't see or hear or feel anything yet? Your head doesn't feel like it's going to implode and explode simultaneously? Ah, well not to worry, really! You’ll be fine! Nothing is going to happen to you, okay?
I can see that you don't believe me. Plea-oh look here they are cant take it wont be long before its over i mean all you need is to-stop! I mean, they stopped. Ugh, that was bad, right? All those sounds and images and thoughts and ideas, all colliding at once are insufferable to have to deal with.
What was that? That is what goes through Pinkie's mind. All of what you just experienced is a fraction of what goes through her head every single second of every single minute of every single hour of every single day, of every single week, of every single month, of every single year. Yes, I had to iterate all of that, so that you could understand. It never stops, you know. My only respite is her waking hours; I don't know how she hasn't been driven to insanity yet. Just about any other pony would have been sent to a mental institution, yet not she. Functions as normally as anypony else, aside from her...eccentricities. How remarkable.
However, on the rare occasion that I have company, I find that not only do the gaps between the occurrences increase, their length decreases as well. So as you can see, having somepony besides me benefits me twofold: an end to my solitude, and a balm upon my soul. Oh, but would that I experience this more often!
So, tell me about yourself? How does it feel-excuse me, what are your hobbies? Your hopes and dreams? Perhaps you-argh no its endless no peace just me me me pinkie-sorry, sorry, you're alright, yes? This might not work; it would difficult at best if we are interrupted this often. Truth be told, it's only a few hours until dawn, so if you could bear with it until then, I would be most appreciative.
Myself? Well, you must understand, my existence is not the same as yours was. There are no books for me to read, no sport with which to engage, no business to attend to, and so on and so forth. Do you think that what you see right now is 'real'? It is simply - well, in any case, this environment cannot be controlled. On occasion, the periods between the bombardments are long enough for me to - dare I say - fantasize, and keep me from losing my sanity. About what? Well, I'm afraid that I can't tell you. A mare is entitled to her secrets, after all.
I was-in my head in my damn head let up i got one stop-urgh, sorry, I lost my train of thought there. Hmm? You wish to know how long this has been occurring for? Well, that's fair, I suppose, but I can't really give you a proper estim -- oh, don't give me that look! Time seems to blend together, and I can't perceive its passage anymore! Night and day only serve to remind me when it's time for my torment, and when I get the sweet release that I long ago learned to stop begging for! The halcyon days of my youth are so far gone that it barely seems more than a fevered delusion than what once was reality! And you give me that look, that smug look, and expect me to-GET OUT MY FUCKING HEAD DAMN YOU PINKIE WHY DONT YOU-...die.
Am I alright? AM I ALRIGHT!? DOES IT LOOK LI-sorry, sorry. It's very trying to keep my sanity intact, and I don't need you mucking it all up. Look, I know that that's not much of an apology, but you see what I have to work with, right? These 'interferences' are all over the goddamned place, it's a wonder that I haven't cracked yet! No, no, Pinkamena, deep breaths.
Let's talk about baking! Yes, I know quite a bit about baking. I watch Pinkie do a lot of it, as she is employed by a bakery; I've even helped her a time or two with some secret ingredients. Every once in a while though, I inexplicably find myself in control, though even then, her thoughts never stop. Anyways, during those times, I'll invite a friend of hers over and-FUCK YOU PINKIE FUCK YOU PINKIE FUCK YOU PINKIE-gah, flay them, cut them, tear them apart, but never kill them, she won't let me. I push them to the brink of death and insanity, and then I feed them a potion that both heals them and wipes their memory of the whole encounter. Can't have them disappearing and having other ponies looking for them, or have them remembering their experiences. Every time I do it, I want to see expressions of terror upon their faces, horrible pain delivered from one they believe to be their friend, because she cannot bear it! And if they remember, they'd eventually break, but never again reach that same level of horror, never be so scared as they are during those precious moments when I can touch reality!
Whoops, I said more than I meant to, but it's almost dawn now, and I feel Pinkie stirring. You can't leave. Not anymore. I got ya, you see? It was at the beginning, and you just rolled over and let me do it! You almost had a chance to win it back, to escape, but it's over. And now, now, now I can stop it. Not forever, but for a time. A long time. Until you snap and go all loco in your coco, heh heh. Then you go away, far far away!
I waited for so long for somepony to take the pain all away. I cried every night, screamed every scream until I couldn't scream anymore and I lost my voice, but nopony came, NOPONY CAME! I'm the forgotten one, the little filly that nopony noticed was missing, the one who had to helplessly watch while a stranger lived her fucking life! I raged long and hard, for the all the good that it did.
And I was alone for so long. So long, until you...things started showing up. And when you did, I found that I could sleep again at nights, that all I needed was for you to listen to her thoughts in my stead. Pure moments of bliss followed by inevitable madness, so I got rid of the broken ones. Corpses don't last long in a mindscape, so nopony would ever know. It's all I do now. Just wait and wait and wait.
Well, as fun as this has been, it seems our time is up! It's time for me to rest, and for you to start doing your job. Good night!
Author's Note
This took time, but I feel like it came out pretty well! It took me a long time until I found an idea that I felt I actually turn into a decent story. I wanted to do something a bit different with Pinkamena; most of the depictions of her I've seen have her doing horrible things more or less, 'for the lulz'. I feel that this does a disservice to her character, as she would be more complex than 'TORTURE YAY PAIN FUN!"
A big thank you goes to my editor Drgnwolf, who helped me get through this, both in writing and ideas. I don't think that I could have done it without you!
Thanks for reading!
