It Is My Personal Preference That I Consume My Caffeinated Brew In Its Initial Unsweetened State

by Harbinger Of Mist

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Luna, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Sex, Anthro
Length: 1809

Celestia and Luna meet up for coffee. This a troll fic. Anthro and futa shenanigans because raisins. Not actual magic raisins, I forgot where I was going with this. But with a special verbose twist!

Opening sentence suggesting the characters involved shall behave in an innocent manner and engage in no unusual activities outside of the expected societal norm. Second sentence beginning with a conjunction that compromises the implications of the first and vaguely foreshadows the aforementioned individuals partaking in an event that commences without proper reason, resulting in an uncouth display of unprovoked intercourse or any other unspecified act of the sexual nature.

Real description: Luna and Celestia meet up to have coffee together. But Celestia suggests a way of adding some "flavour" to spice their drinks up.

Contains: A Female figure in possession of a gratUitously sized organic phallic instrumenT which usuAlly belongs to those of the opposite gender. Oh, and a cheap method of increasing word count.
Lavender unicorn syndrome taken to the extreme for shitz giggles 'n' satire.

Published 2015-12-08 04:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-11 00:56:19 UTC

Within this current period of time, might it be feasible to deactivate the vulgar magical incantation which brought upon the gift of your unnatural organic phallic tool and return to how you are meant to be presented when in the nude?

Author's Note

Take a moment to get into the right mindset: click here

Hell, leave comments with suggestions on how to "improve" some of the lines.

Within this current period of time, might it be feasible to deactivate the vulgar magical incantation which brought upon the gift of your unnatural organic phallic tool and return to how you are meant to be presented when in the nude?

The greatly esteemed motherly diarch of the bright celestial body occupying the outer reaches of the world's skies appropriately named Celestia arrived at the royal chambers her female blood companion whom reigns control over the other astral satellite which contrasts to her own, whom she herself is named Luna to coincide with each other. Upon utilizing the various opposable digits of her upper-body appendage meant to take grasp of any desirable object to clasp around the golden handle of the considerably sized entrance to the aforementioned chambers, the royal sister of the sun exerts an adequate pulling motion to render the door in its opened position.

Upon making her action of entering the royal chambers of slumber designated for her younger biological female companion with bright beams of sunlight being shone off the sun itself, entering through the transparent pane of glass being used as one of the room's many windows, and reflecting off the alabaster fur on her face causing a sensation which could be described as rending eyesight temporarily out of commission, she registered a pleasant verbal greeting which was uttered by the current owner of the chambers.

"Subjectively enjoyable period of a 24-hour time span immediately following the ascension of the solar astral body." The royal sister affectionately known as Luna responded to the expected entrance of her companion with a formal verbal greeting. "The ceramic container holding the liquid contents of a caffeinated beverage reserved for your consumption is resting near the edge of my piece of wooden antique furniture meant for sitting various inanimate objects upon."

The sister of the sun replied happily with a facial expression of explicit content, "I shall deliver to you my gratitude, dear female blood companion of mine." She takes the necessary action to bend her knees so as to prepare herself for planting her haunches on an empty cushioned seat provided to her and proceeds to lift up her designated ceramic container of the caffeinated beverage affectionately referred to as coffee to intake a small but considerable amount to sample the initial taste. "This particular brew you have prepared for our gathering is dark and unsweetened."

The lunar sister replies with a slow fanning motion of her arm to bring attention to the other objects resting neatly on her table. "I have neglected to add the traditional sweeteners such as cream and sugar directly to the large glass container holding the remaining liquid so we may improve the individual servings by mixing them into our personal mugs to our discretion. You have the full permission to use the provided ingredients to sweeten your drink to your desires."

"I must concur in the notion that that would be the most logical action, provided with the innate knowledge of how this formula is normally concocted." The exalted royal diarch of the great star proceeded to carefully place her handled ceramic container of the caffeinated beverage affectionately referred to as coffee back onto its original vicinity of the table and take a full standing position in front of her chair. She then began a swift process in which she folded and lowered her arms to the exact level around her waist and take grasp of the middle seams of her decorative dress of unknown origins and lifted the aforementioned article of clothing to a high enough region above her head so as to render her entire voluptuous figure resembling that of a small inanimate device used to keep track of specified amounts of time to be upon full unhindered display in the comforting company of her sister brought upon by the complete lack of traditional undergarments one usually dons underneath visible clothing.

"Interjection expressing shock and/or intrigue, singular possessive first-person pronoun!" The respected diarch of the moon exclaimed in a low register to showcase her mild surprised disposition at the unexpected however typical fact that her sister makes the decision to forgo underwear of any kind for the sake of comfort, but to a greater degree that Celestia had removed her garment in the first place for a matter so trivial. "Could I be so fairly quizzical as to inquire in on the reasons surrounding your unhesitating choice to unclothe yourself and subsequently be rendered nude before my eyes?"

"My desire is to provide my cup of coffee with a more personal form of cream to substitute that of which you have available." The royal figure appropriately named Celestia commenced ritual in which she wells up a necessary amount of inner magical energy into the bodily conduit known as a horn on her forehead, resulting in it emanating a spectral golden yellow glow.

"Are you proposing the suggestion that you utilize your magical abilities in a fashion which allows you to bare milk from your royally endowed mammary glands identically to how mother mares provide essential nutrients to their infants?"

"Although your suspicions are fairly judged given the situation at hand, I must quell your expectations by revealing that I am in fact proposing a less orthodox method." Within a short passage of time, another spectral glow showcasing the same colourful aura as the one surrounding her horn gathered around the base of her nether regions to signify that that is where she has the intention of affecting with her magic. Shortly thereafter, a sparkling cloud of translucent gold smoke was expelled from the targeted vicinity on the ruler of the sun's lower body with an onomatopoeic popping sound and an unnaturally gifted sex organ typically belonging to those of the male gender rapidly extended out in a fully erect state to a length that compared to that of her legs.

The solar demi-goddess spends the next approximately 3 seconds to stare upon the results of her handiwork before clasping her right hand around the girthy shaft and shaking it towards to head and base alternatively in a manner most vulgar and vigorous. "It would behoove me to inquire whether you wish to sample the same ingredient I intend to mix into my beverage to yours in addition."

The high-ranking political figure over command of the moon rotates her head away from her sister's grotesque and off-putting magical spell and raises her hand close to her face to avoid baring any further inadvertent witness. "I must take the names of all four other-worldy horse figures of the end of time and existence in vain to express my disgust and disapproval of your course of action. Would it be too much to ask of you to undo the foul incantation and revert the area of your child-bearing organ to how it was originally? I rather enjoy my traditional morning beverage as it is without the optional addition of sweeteners."

With an expression of explicit disappointment and dejection adorned across her face, the ruler of the solar satellite repeated the same process of producing spectral golden glows around her horn and private area to establish the prerequisite setup of the spell and reverse its effects to return her sex organ to the appearance of that of how females are normally presented. "You exhibit a neutral behaviour that lacks the capacity and ability to provide joy to those within your vicinity."

The diarch of the sun sets her haunches back down onto the cushion of her chair and begins to extend her arm out in front to reach for the sweeteners affectionately referred to as sugar and cream with intent of conforming to the usual standards of consuming the morning brew. "I will be neglecting to redress myself in my gown so as to remain comfortably in the nude to compensate for my lack of enjoyment brought upon by your distaste."

The royal ruler of the moon rotates her eyes in a clockwise motion to signify her apathy towards her sister's attitude and continues to take momentary sips from her mug.

TL;DR version

Author's Note

You know what perplexes me? I have a negative like/dislike ratio, but all my comments are positive.

I can only assume that the people disliking took one look at the format and might not have bothered to finish. If you dislike, that's fine, what I'd like to know is why. Maybe because I treated the futa in this story as an eyesore?

I just want consistency.

Those of you who DID enjoy it, thank you. I'm glad you were willing to play along with the joke.

Nonetheless, if you didn't like the original version, or are curious how short it's supposed to be, feel free to breeze through this instead.

TL;DR version

Celestia arrived at her little sister's bed chambers and made her way inside. Beams of sunlight reflected off her face as Luna greeted her.

"Good morning, Celestia. Your coffee is waiting for you here on the table."

"Thank you, sister." Celestia replies with a smile. She sits down in her chair and takes a quick sip of her mug. "This coffee is black."

"I have forgone adding cream and sugar to the pot so we can sweeten our cups to our liking." Luna fanned her arm over the table to bring attention to the aforementioned sweeteners.

"That makes sense, considering how coffee is normally prepared." Celestia put her cup down and stood up from her chair. She then crossed her arms to grab onto the mid-section of her kimono and removed it in one quick motion. That and her lack of underwear had rendered her voluptuous hourglass figure completely naked.

"Oh, my!" Luna expressed mild shock at her sister's actions. She knew Celestia chooses not to wear undergarment's for comfort's sake, but she didn't expect her to undress at all. "Why are you naked?"

"I feel like adding some of my own cream." Celestia responded as she lit up her horn.

"A lactation spell?"

"No." A similar glow appeared around Celestia's crotch. Soon enough, an erect penis about the size of her leg extended outward.

Celestia took a moment to admire her handiwork before masturbating furiously. "Want some?"

Luna turned her head and blocked her view with her hand ion disgust. "Holy Harbingers! Put that thing away! I prefer my coffee black, thank you!"

Celestia reluctantly cancels her spell and returns to her typical female appearance. "You're no fun." She sits back down in her chair and picks up some cream and sugar to add to her cup. "I'm still going to be naked, though."

Luna rolled her eyes and continued to drink from her mug.