The Tales of a Extra-Dimensional Border Jumper

by SCP Pinkamena

Rating: mature
Tags: Random, Adventure, Crossover, Human, Dark, Equestria Girls
Length: 1398

Hello, my name is Zephaniah. I am Variable, the only one. The universe is big, but to me it's only a click away.

So, lets see. My name is Zephaniah, I'm 24 year of age, I like the color green, and I happen to be the only Variable in existence. Being a Variable, I can go jump, I suppose, to different places in different universes. Because of my ability, my handlers have been… itchy to say the least. They believe me to be a Messiah of some kind, one that can bring humanity to a new Eden. Well news flash: Humanity's been fucked from day one. They want to move in a mass exodus, I just wanted be left the hell alone. However, fate seemed to be not in my favor… because now, my power doesn't work and I'm stuck in this place. Some things never change, out of one cage and into another.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-09-05 00:10:43 UTC

A Shot In The Dark

I sighed in my pillow. Another day inside this God forsaken cell. All I could think about is how and why. Why did I have this power, and was everyone alright holding another living being here in a solitary confinement cell. I had a simple cot with white blanket, an alarm clock on an end table. A T.V. (with only 3 channels) and of course, a camera watching my every move. If I had to go take a piss, or take a shit a hole would open in the corner of the room. Not very conventional, but hey at least it's something. I never left the cell, not really. That's what the T.V. was for, to show the news, listen to some music, and to have some background noise. That's right, the third channel was nothing but white noise. I'm surprised I haven't gone mad with how long I've been down here in the cell, some 20 feet below the surface. I can't even remember what the sun was like.

I heard a bang on the door, and it opened to show the reason behind my confinement. Mr. Paberty, or as I call him Pabst, was opening my door and this time, what he said surprised me. "Come on boy," he said, "time to go outside."

I got up and slipped a shirt on, and followed him. "What do you mean? Are you done with me?" I asked, desperately wanting an answer. He looked back gave a huff, kept walking. We eventually made it to another cell room, and then he quickly instructed me to go in and get information. One good look at the guy and I already knew he was a terrorist of some kind. ISIS, Al Qaeda, I didn't know.

"This is Karim. He is a member of Al Qaeda and is currently the only person with the correct location of a bomb hidden somewhere in New York City. You need to get the information from him." Paberty said over the intercom. I had to do a double take. What the fuck? What was waterboarding not working with you guys?

"Look, Karim was it? I need you to please tell me where that bomb is. Not only am I going to get ripped a new one from boss, but so will you. Now, I know it probably doesn't sound that bad, at least for me it wont, a few days with no T.V. privileges, but you? They'll have a party with your insides." I said as calmly as I could. Yeah, I hated terrorist, but everyone is supposed to get a chance right?

"I do what do for Allah, and nothing you do can sway me. Death to you, American." He said and then he spat in my face. I wiped it off, and turned back to the door.

"Permission to jump?"

"Permission granted." I smiled and looked back at Karim.

"I hope you can swim. Because waterboarding wasn't even a scratch on the surface." I said before clicking my fingers together and a green portal appeared next us. Now, the portal itself was about the size of a softball, but I could make it get progressively bigger and wider. The room was filling with water, water from GJ1214B to be precise. The pressure was coming through like a water faucet on high, so I upped the size of the portal. Now, it was more like a bathtub faucet. The water made it to the tops of my shins. "Tick Tock Karim, every minute the hole gets wider and room fills faster."

He was shocked by the initial portal appearing but he seemed to have snapped out of whatever trance he was in. He still said nothing, but water was getting colder. I widened the hole again, this time the size of my head. Now water was gushing in at the gallon, and the water pushed well past my knees. Yet he was still in the chair in the middle of the room, so it was nearing his waist.

The water got colder still.

"Come on, Karim, right now we're about 500 feet under the sea, you gotta say something?" I asked. The hole was wider. I might as well make the whole wall the hole. He finally conceded defeat after the water touched his neck.

I snapped my fingers once again, and the hole vanished and I opened the door letting the water out. Granted Pabst was surprised, he would want an explanation later.

Karim looked around at myself and Paberty. "There is no bomb... I lied about that. I only wanted see him with my own eyes." He said looking back at me. "You are the only one who could save humanity from itself. The power you have showed me, it was unlike anything I have heard, anything I had seen. It was like... looking at a new Allah." He said with stars in his eyes. "However, the end times are coming are they not? That's why the Coven needs you?" Coven? Before I could ask what he meant, Paberty shot him point blank in the head. Fuck, there goes my questions.

"Where did go?" Pabst asked.

"We went to that Water World. GJ1214B, we made it about 800 feet below the surface before he caved." He whipped around and slapped my face. Of course, I expected that. Granted I had permission to jump, I never told him where. He looked at me coldly.

"If you are to bring humanity to a new world, you need to act the part. If you don't the people wont trust you, and you would branded a freak of nature. Do you want that boy?" He said to my face. I only looked down. This was demeaning if it ever got any lower, a 24 year old slapped and ordered like a child.

I sighed at went back to my cage. I sat in the corner away from the camera. "Sorry Dad." I said softly. I suppose I never gave my name.

My name is Zephaniah Paberty, and I am the only Variable in existence. Now, you're all wondering, 'What's a variable, this isn't math!' well you're right, it isn't. Instead what it is is something more. I was told be him when I was 16 to go find home on another Earth, but every time I went to another Earth, I wasn't there. Sometimes a different boy, sometimes a girl. Most of the time however, it was the same boy and same girl over and over, with some slight differences. It made me and my father realize that I was one of a kind, no other me existed. Yet he still couldn't explain the powers. As for those wondering where my mom is, she's been dead for as long as I've been alive. It got me to thinking, maybe mom was Variable too, but dad said it was bullshit, she never did it while they were dating, and she certainly didn't do it while they were married.

He always blamed for moms death. A demonic child in an angels wrap is what he would say. When my 18th birthday hit, he brought me here, and locked me in the cell that I live in today. Over the next 6 years he made a fortune and expanded my dungeon. He had more cells, an internal computer system, he had everything the U.S. Government had and more. At times, the U.S. Government looked to him to help with the trouble. While I did all of the work, he got all the money. He got everything. The one thing he wanted back though was my mother. As I sat in my corner, I knew that we were going to have another fight, and that he was going to yell, but all I wanted was to be alone. So that's what I did.

I stood up and clicked my fingers together. A portal appeared in front of me, and unlike the normal green ones, this one was all sorts of colors. Reds and blues and purples and oranges, they all blended into one white center, call me to jump in. I heard the door open and my dad scream. I looked back and waved before I jumped inside the portal.

I only hoped my shot in the dark was a good spot to go.