Safe For Work Hoof-On-Ass Actions
Rainbow Dash shot through the crisp fall air, fresh from the morning weather shift. Gliding above Ponyville, she spotted two familiar blobs meandering through the town. As she dove downward, the blobs gained definition as Rainbow’s shitty eyesight was able to finally see who those ponies were. Unfortunately for her, her eyesight was a lot worse than she anticipated, and by the time she was able to define who these ponies were, she was a mere ten inches away and was going at about ten meters per second.
Crashing into the ground with enough force to uproot a nearby tree, Dash crawled from the crater and spit out a few clods of dirt, some gravel, and an unlucky mole. “H-Hey, Applejack! ‘sup, Twilight! What’s up with you guys?”
“I’ve just been versing Applejack in inter-dimensional telekinetic trigonometry,” Twilight said, placing a hoof on her chest and brushing some dirt from her coat. “I had no idea she was so interested in it! Fortunately, it’s a subject I know a lot about, so I could go on for hours! And I have!”
Applejack swiveled her gaze to meet Rainbow Dash’s, her face contorted into a painful mockery of a smile, teeth grit and strained to where they almost looked like they were about to shatter. Her green eyes were little more than yawning expanses, silently pleading for the sweet merciful grip of oblivion and everlasting darkness in death.
“Wow, that sounds like a real snoozefest,” Rainbow Dash said, yawning to emphasize her point. “Yo, Apples! Let’s ditch class and have some real fun back at your place!”
“Ooh, like horseshoes?” Twilight asked, smiling innocently.
Rainbow Dash’s eyes narrowed as she looked off to the side shiftily. “Yes... exactly like horseshoes.” Applejack coughed and blushed, pawing the ground with her hooves.
Rainbow floated to the ground to join her friends, and this proved to be her biggest mistake. The instant her hooves touched the dirt of the earthen path, the bushes behind them rustled, and a pink blur shot out from them.
Applejack paled. “Rainbow! Behind you!”
But it was too late. There was a crack like the sound of a dozen cannons being fired at once, and Rainbow went sprawling head over hooves, her asscheeks burning bright red. She let loose a deep grunt as she toppled to the ground, spread eagle, wings flared. Applejack tried to run, but it was no use. The pink blur was behind her already, and another loud CRACK! was heard as the farm pony was flung a few yards forward from the sheer force of the impact on her backside. Twilight stared, completely baffled at what was happening, right up until she heard a somewhat softer repetition of the previous two noises echo off from behind her.
And then the pain came.
Slow at first, it immediately mounted to a sharp sensation, like she’d sat down on a bed of coals. And then the burning—oh dear sweet Celestia above, the burning! Her ass was blazing hotter than the sun itself, blistering in agony as waves of pain rushed through her.
Twilight curved her head back, and her butt forward, gasping as her watery eyes saw two perfect hoofmarks impressed into her ass.
“HAPPY SPANKSGIVING!” a shrill voice shouted from a nearby rooftop. Twilight turned to look but whoever it had been was long gone by the time her gaze made it up there.
“Gah!” Rainbow Dash moaned from the ground. “Dammit, Pinkie!”
“That was Pinkie?” Twilight asked, hopping back and forth on her back hooves as her plot throbbed in agony. “Gnnh! Why would she do that?”
“It’s part of her tradition,” Applejack grunted, her face screwed up as she sweat profusely, her bottom lip bit. “Every year she goes on these crazy slappin’ sprees in the late fall sometime after The Running of the Leaves! She calls it...” Applejack grunted as she spread her hind legs, tail swatting around like crazy. “Spanksgivin’.”
Twilight furrowed her brow, speculation momentarily drowning out the intense ass-agony she was experiencing. “Why is Pinkie doing this? It’s not like her to just... hurt ponies. She may be a prankster, but she’s not cruel.”
“Well, that’s kinda our fault,” Rainbow Dash said, rubbing her butt for a moment before taking flight. “Me and some of my friends thought it was really funny when she started doing it, but it quickly got outta hoof, and now...” A distant crack followed by a loud shriek echoed through the town. All three of the ponies winced.
“Gotcha Rarity!” Pinkie’s voice echoed from far away. “Happy Spanksgiving!”
“I was right in the middle of a makeover!” Rarity wailed.
“I think the mascara looks good all over your... everywhere!”
“I...I think I swallowed my lipstick...”
“If this is tradition, why didn’t any of you guys anticipate it?” Twilight asked, rubbing her raw rump.
“Because Pinkie changes it up every year to get the jump on us,” Applejack said, sighing as she looked back at her butt and winced.
“‘Jump’ sometimes being very literal,” Rainbow Dash grumbled, flying backwards into a cloud and sighing softly as her backside was enveloped by the cold fluff. “Oh yeah... that’s nice...” The cloud shuddered, and produced a drizzle of cool water which gently pattered against Applejack’s rear, the cold water soothing the farm pony.
“They are getting harder with every year,” Applejack agreed, sighing contently as the soreness in her ass subsided. “She’s becoming a real pain in the rear.”
There was a great silence as every single being in the world became ashamed of the words that left Applejack’s mouth. The farm pony blushed and muttered something about apples and trotted off with an awkward, limped gait.
“Pinkie’ll end up slapping the wrong ass eventually,” Rainbow said, wiggling to embed herself a bit deeper in the lovely folds of the cloud. “I tried to warn her when she started doing this, but she didn’t believe me!”
“What, do you think she could be in danger of getting attacked in retaliation?” Twilight said, raising an eyebrow as she flicked through a roster of pain relief spells in the back of her mind. “That doesn’t seem likely; even if Pinkie’s irritating in this way, everypony knows she doesn’t mean to hurt ponies. They’ll understand.”
“I don’t know what’s gonna happen, Twi,” Rainbow said. “All I know is that Pinkie’s gonna end up slapping the wrong ass and whatever happens is going to put a stop to this whole mess for good.”
Fluttershy brushed some leaves off her front porch, humming a gentle tune to herself. Late fall was always a more peaceful time to her, something that brought along a bit of melancholy with its sense of serenity. The change of the leaves was beautiful for certain, but it was the harbinger of the deaths of the beautiful trees she loved so dearly. The animals were all retreating too; some of her closest friends were hiding away to hibernate, and still many of the invertebrate ones perished in the freezing weather. But Fluttershy, while still experiencing the pangs of sorrow for the loss of life that came with winter, was able to easily reconcile her feelings due to the new life that winter allowed. While the animals of the rest of the year may make themselves scarce during winter, a whole new host of nature makes itself available in the cold and snow, and for that she was ever grateful.
The bushes behind fluttershy rustled slightly, but the pegasus payed it no mind. She was too wrapped up in her sweeping, and her humming, and her contemplation.
A pair of pink hooves slowly extended from between the dying leaves, barely making a sound as they advanced towards the yellow rump that lay unattended before them.
Pinkie Pie gently pushed her hooves forward, lightly connecting with Fluttershy’s plump posterior, giggling as she watched waves of kinetic motion ripple through her friend’s booty.
Fluttershy froze up in terror and fell forward onto her chest, chin cushioned in a small patch of grass. Pinkie Pie slithered across the ground like a florescent snake, and curled up next to Fluttershy, her head resting on the frightened mare’s cheek. Gently, she used a hoof to spread one of Fluttershy’s ears wide open, and she leaned in, lips poised and trembling right above the audial canal.
“Happy Spanksgiving,” Pinkie Pie hissed softly, and her tongue snaked out from between her lips, licking the inside of Fluttershy’s ear ever-so-softly.
And with that, she was gone, the petrified pegasus alone in her garden once more.
“Tag, you’re it!” Apple Bloom shouted gleefully as she slapped the side of Sweetie Belle’s leg. Sweetie giggled and turned to chase Apple Bloom before tripping over her own hooves and sprawling on the ground.
“Alright!” Scootaloo said, flapping her tiny wings as she trotted over to them. “That makes twenty minutes of tag! Did we get our ‘pointless waste of time’ cutie marks yet?”
The little fillies scoured their buttoxes for pictures of Neightzche’s face, but to no avail. A rumbling beneath their hooves, however, soon distracted them from thoughts of ass-tattoos.
The ground split open and Pinkie Pie rocketed out, hooves at the ready. She was a mere two inches away from where Apple Bloom had been standing, so her hooves easily connected with the filly’s ass, sending her flying into a nearby haybale. Sweetie let loose a small gasp, but it was too late for her to escape her newfound fate. Pinkie’s hooves arced up, and then came down hard against her supple filly bum, making the sound of a snare drum as they connected. Sweetie let out a shriek and fell over, cupping her bruised bottom as Apple Bloom struggled to drag herself from the haystack. Scootaloo wasn’t even looking at Pinkie as she geared up her hooves and sent them flying at the orange cripple with speeds approaching the sound barrier.
As they connected with Scootaloo’s pert butt, an odd sound escaped. It was similar to the one that’s made when beting an unruly child with a freshly caught salmon. Pinkie hadn’t heard this sound since her youth, and there was no salmon to be seen! Her face wrinkled in confusion.
“Mmmnghhh...” Scootaloo moaned. One of her hindlegs stretched out, her tiny wings flapping as she shuddered. One of Scootaloo’s eyes closed as the other one rolled up in her head. “Harder...”
Pinkie Pie stared at Scootaloo, and slowly raised her hoof, her complexion paling as she saw something drip off of it. A soundless scream escaped from Pinkie’s mouth, her eyes widening to the size of dinner plates but her pupils shrinking to pinpricks.
They recovered Pinkie two weeks later from an abandoned mine three hundred miles away, whimpering and gibbering about salmon and her father, and that was the end of Spanksgiving.
