It was getting dark outside, it felt as if the darkness of my mind was escaping. Oh if only I could be free of this darkness. I looked at my tattered wings. In my depression of my relationship with my coltfriend ending, all I did was cry and rip the feathers from my wings, I know that if I should jump, my wings wouldn't save me from my doom.
Going back through my mind with what he said about the breakup. “I'm sorry” he said, “I just cannot cope with the stresses of a relationship, it's not you, you're the most wonderful guy ever”. Tears stream down my face, I know it wasn't me, but it still hurts. We were so perfect together, it's just I don't think I would find someone as good as him.
Foolishly I think back through past relationships even though I know that I will end up hurting even more, hopefully giving me the push I needed to go. The mares and stallions I've been with, each relationship had turned into a nightmare and ended badly. But this relationship was none of that, it was just that he couldn't cope. But why do I feel so bad, was it because I kind of persuaded him to have a relationship with me, or the thought of causing him to be stressed because of our relationship.
I cringe as a twinge of pain goes through my wings. Guess I really done myself good this time, never thought I would do something like this, but this time it's just too much. I sigh. I wonder what else I could do to make my survival less likely, I didn't have any pills that I could overdose on, though I could try the kitchen and maybe get a knife to cut myself. I shake my head, no bad idea, a trail of blood could lead people to you.
A light pattering causes me to turn to the window and look out, it's raining now, with the raindrops rolling down the window, just like my tear drops down my muzzle. I look away and back to my feathers on the floor, some of them looking very bloody, especially those that had been my primaries. I sit down on my haunches amongst the bloodied feathers.
Minutes, hours have maybe passed, I don't know anymore, I haven't really been keeping track of the time. Suddenly my phone bleeps, I jump. Judging by the tone, it was a message on Facehoof. It probably won't be from him, not now, I told him to leave me be for a few days, I even cancelled my arrangements to meet up with my friends for the My Little Human finale, I just can't face him so soon. Thinking on who it could be, I deduct it could be Soulhoof, oh so ever reliable I smile to myself.
With a groan I stand up, and slowly walk over to my phone and stare at it. Yup as expected, a message from Soulhoof. I read it. “Come on Rapid, I know you are upset about the relationship ending, but it wasn't your fault. You're a great guy, you find someone.” I sigh again putting the phone down. There it is again, people saying I'm a great guy, then why don't I feel like I'm a great guy, why do I feel so useless.
I look around the room. On the walls is picture of my favourite Wonderbolt, Soarin. Not that I have a chance with him, especially since he is hooked up with Rainbow Dash. You pause briefly as you recall the first time you actually met him, boy did that cause some problems when you posed as a Wonderbolt just to get near him. You look around the room further seeing pictures of your parents, and of course your younger brother.
You look at the picture of your younger brother, you feel a bit of annoyance inside of yourself, he always managed to do so well for himself. You've always felt a bit of jealousy with regards to how better things had gone for Lightning Mocha, he had a higher paying job service caffeinated drinks to nobles in Canterlot, whereas you were stuck being part of the Ponyville weather team. You suddenly cringed at the realising that you probably won't be able to work for a while. Especially since you ripped out your own feathers.
Not that it matters, with any luck you might be at a bottom of a cliff soon and not have to worry about that issue. But. There it is again, the doubt inside you that prevents you from going out there. It's as if you are buying yourself time to talk yourself out if it. But this is the furthest you have gone, never have you ripped out your own feathers before, not all of them intentionally. You stretch out what remains of your wings and sigh. What am I doing to myself.
You collapse onto the floor in frustration, though as you do, you hear a crunch of breaking glass and a slight pain in your stomach. You grimace, but ignore the pain as you just lie there crying amongst your own feathers, until eventually you fall asleep.
Hours have passed, and you realise it's morning thanks to the sun assaulting your eyes through the window. You groan as you stretch and it dawns on you to what you did the night before. You hit your head hard against the floor. “Urgh I'm such a fool,” you cry out loudly. You feel a dull pain in your stomach area, and you look down. To your surprise there is bloody scratches all over your stomach.
You wonder what could have caused it, since you don't remember cutting yourself last night. With a groan you rise to your feet and realise you collapsed onto a picture last night, but this isn't just any picture. It's a picture of you and him cuddled up on your bed, you look so happy, and he looks so happy. It was just taken weeks ago. You break down again and throw the picture off to one side of the room.
Still crying you make you way to your front door. No longer thinking clearly, you fumble around looking for the handle. You need to run, run for that cliff, but where was the cliff. You managed to open the front door, you hiss as the sheer light of day burns your eyes, but you ignore the pain and start running not caring you left your door open. You end up running through the centre of town, along the way you find it difficult to ignore the gasps of horror from the ponies you pass. Amongst them cries of concern from various ponies, again you ignore them and you just keep running.
Soulhoof awoke with a groan. Sleep wasn't easy for him, especially since he has been worried about his friend Rapidsnap all night. He quickly grabs his phone and looks at his Facehoof, immediately frowning when he realises that Rapidsnap had read his message, but didn't reply back. Sighing, he sends another message, reading it before pressing send. “Rapid, I'm worried about you, so I'm going to come over. I see you soon”.
Soulhoof left his house, the walk to where Rapidsnap lived wasn't too far, but on the way, he couldn't help notice several distressed ponies on the way. He wondered what was going on, and preyed that it wasn't anything to do with Rapidsnap. Soon he approached the home of Rapidsnap, but became worried when he found the front door open and Rainbow Dash outside looking rather upset.
Soulhoof walked up to the distressed mare “Urm... Hi Rainbow Dash, are you okay?” he asked.
“Oh are you a friend of Rapidsnap”, Rainbow Dash said with a hint of panic in her voice, “I'm so glad you're here”. She looked towards the door. “I came looking for Rapidsnap this morning after he failed to show for his weather duties, but when I arrived, his door was wide open, and I looked in and found his feathers and blood all over the floor.”
“You what,” Soulhoof cried as he barged past Dash and into Rapidsnaps home. What he saw shocked him. “Oh god Rapid, what have you done to yourself”.
Rainbow Dash came up from behind him. “Do you have any idea where he maybe”, she asked.
Soulhoof sighed sadly. “No I don't, I came over because I was concerned about him after his latest breakup.”
“What he's broke up with someone again”, Dash interrupted. “Will that guy ever learn not to get too head over heels about someone”.
Soulhoof stared at the mare annoyingly. “Listen Dash, he's a good guy and he has a lot of love to give. But I've never seen him this bad, but I never thought he would go this far”.
Rainbow Dash retreated slightly under the glare. “Look sorry about that, but I'm worried about him too. Do you have any idea where he could have gone.”
“I'm not sure where he could have gone,” he replied. “But it seems that he didn't go unnoticed, as I did seem to notice a lot of shocked ponies on the way, maybe they might know”.
“Then what are we waiting for” Rainbow said grabbing the young stallion. “We've got to find him before it's too late.”
Rapidsnap collapsed at his destination. He finally found a place where he could fall. It was no cliff, but the dam was just as high. He looked over the edge, he gulped slightly. It certainly was a long way down, but far enough to eradicate him from existence. All he had to do was jump, it sounded so easy.
Easy, nothing was easy, even dealing with these emotions wasn't easy. He lied down at the edge, maybe if I fall asleep and roll off without realising might work. Trying to get comfy, he laid down near the edge, he peered over the edge again. So peaceful up here, and soon I be at peace from these thoughts. The tears started up again as he laid his head down and fell asleep. It was only a matter of time before it was over.
“I thought you were meant to be the fastest pony in Equestria”, Soulhoof shouted at Dash.
“I am when I'm not carrying a squirming passenger”, Dash retorted. “Anyway we aren't far from the dam. We be there soon.”
“Just please be quicker, we don't want to get there too late” cried Soulhoof.
With this Rainbow Dash quickened up the pace, and soon the dam was in view. “Look”, cried Rainbow Dash, “there he is lying on the edge.”
“I see him, oh he looks to be in a really bad way, we need to get down to him quickly”, said Soulhoof.
Rainbow Dash and Soulhoof landed near to the bloodied body of Rapidsnap. “Oh Rapid what have you done to your wings”, cried Rainbow Dash.
Without warning Rapidsnap stirred and lifted his head, then his body jolted with shock when he saw two familiar ponies staring at him, he struggled for grip and went over the edge crying in terror...
No why did they come, why, why, why, I didn't want them to see me fall to my death. He muttered out three words. “I'm so sorry.” And closed his eyes and awaited the hard ground...
The End?
