Altered Visage

My surroundings faded in and out of focus. Everything around me had a wispy, smoke like appearance unless I focused directly on it. Every other moment, the idea that I was dreaming crept into the back of my mind but was forgotten more swiftly than it came.

I was audience to my magic teacher, the green eyed Jade Flare, speaking with Queen Chrysalis. I couldn’t make out details of what was beings said, but I heard enough to understand that they spoke of war with the ponies and that Jade Flare seemed more enthusiastic about it than Chrysalis.

Momentarily, Chrysalis disappeared as a puff of smoke. I felt my legs driving me towards my teacher, far more determined than I was accustomed to being. Jade Flare’s green eyes widened at my appearance, but they quickly returned to normal.

“Greetings, Visage. What can I do for my p—“

I cut him off. “I don’t trust you. You may have her eating out of your hoof as you whisper your words into her ear, but I see that you’re nothing more than a snake and a warmonger. You undermine my authority by pushing us closer to war with your every action.”

He merely smiled at me condescendingly. “If we do not go to war, our people will starve. With each day that passes, more of our love collectors are being captured.”

“And whose fault is that, I wonder?”

“Are you accusing me of having something to do with that?”

A moment of tense silence fell as we stared at each other with challenge in each of our eyes.

“Just remember...I’m watching you.”

And with that final remark, my dream self trotted off, leaving a scowling Jade Flare behind. The dream slowly faded as I woke up, the last thing visible being his solid, green eyes.

The first thing I noticed upon slowly regaining consciousness was that I miraculously was alive and only mildly sore. The second was that I was on a very large, very comfortable bed. It was far larger and much more luxurious than my bed at Dew-Drop’s med centre. The third thing I noticed? Chrysalis was curled up with me at my back, nuzzling my head from behind. A sense of warmth was flowing into me from the much larger changeling mare. I couldn’t help but wonder if I was actually dreaming since there was no way that this could be real.

The glowing crystals were dimmed so it was hard to make out much of my surroundings. What I could see looked as posh as the throne room had been. I could make out the silhouette of a pair of statues across from me, one of them noticeably smaller than the other.

I brought my attention to the steady breathing of the changeling queen who I had just betrayed. I fully expected to be dead, or in a dungeon or something. What I most certainly did not expect was to be cuddled by said queen in her bed. It would be an understatement to say that I was confused. I momentarily entertained the idea that I had somehow ended up switching bodies with the royal consort or something but dismissed the idea when a quick examination proved it false.

“Chrysalis?” I whispered at the mare snuggled up to my back.

“S’okay, Vissy, mother’s here.” Chrysalis pulled me in tighter to her as her sleep mutterings devolved into indecipherable gibberish.

Vissy? Did she just call me Vissy? What kind of name is that? Wait.....

“Mother!?” I shouted in shock when I finally realized what she had said.

Chrysalis bolted upright in her bed, dragging the blankets up with her. Her horn instantly charged with enough magic to give the room an eerie green glow and make the air crackle.

“What is it Visage? Is something wrong?!” She demanded, still half asleep despite the impressive display of power she was giving.

I sat up too and coughed to get her attention, waiting until she was looking at me.

“Mother?”

Chrysalis blinked a few times before her brain caught up to precisely what I was accusing her of, or more likely why I was accusing her of it. She looked past me at the far wall where I had seen the statue silhouettes earlier then cast a small spell which caused the light crystals to brighten, temporarily blinding me. I could feel myself lifted up by her magic and floated on by until I was set down onto a plush, green carpet in front of those statues.

“Yes.”

It was all that Chrysalis said as we sat in front of the stone carvings. My eyes adjusted to the light and I got my first good look at them. It wasn’t two statues as I had thought previously, but one of two changelings standing next to each other. The larger of the two had been Chrysalis, as I would have guessed even in the darkness. The other looked like a normal changeling, but with my ever improving ability to discern the differences between us I could tell that it had many similarities to my current form. Looking down at the base of the statue I could see an inscription.

“Queen Chrysalis and Princess Visage.” I read aloud. I was shocked into silence by this revelation. My apparent mother, however, wasn’t. She explained the situation to me in a somber manner as she stared at the statue of her daughter.

“This is the only statue of you...of Visage left. I’ve kept it here to remind me of what I lost in the Canterlot invasion. I told her to stay back and watch from outside the city, but Cadance and Shining Armor’s spell still reached her and the guards I had left to protect her. My daughter was lost, and as the days turned to weeks it had seemed ever more likely that she hadn’t survived. After six long months I had her officially declared dead. You’re memorial was quite impressive.

When I heard of a changeling in need of help in the Everfree Forest I thought little of it. Agents and love collectors both go missing all the time and rescuing them is a common enough routine to have squads trained for the task. Then I got a message from Drymanid, one of my daughter’s personal guards that I had thought lost with her, and seemingly the only one to survive. It told me that he needed to speak with me about her. I dropped everything and went to speak with him at Doctor Dew-Drop’s medical centre. That’s when I saw you, lying there asleep in your bed. You were in poor shape, but there was no way I wouldn’t recognize my Vissy.”

Chrysalis paused to look away from the statue to me. She had a sad smile on her face, and tears in her eyes. I fidgeted uncomfortably. I wanted to look away from her, but couldn’t bring myself to do so.

“You have no idea the joys of a mother finding out her long dead daughter is actually alive, nor do you know the sorrow when a mother learns that such joyful news is a lie. Drymanid and I agreed not to tell anypony about Visage’s return, since you weren’t really her. We would treat you as any other changeling in need of help and try to integrate you into the hive. Yet, I couldn’t help but hope that, with a little guidance, you would have Visage’s memories return and I could yet have my daughter back.” Chrysalis trailed off as she dried her tears.

Not having the faintest idea of what was appropriate to say, I fell back on the age old response when somebody else is in pain. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault, Victor. No, there are three ponies who are responsible. Princess Cadance, Prince Shining Armor, and Nutcase.” Chrysalis’ voice filled with bitterness and pain. “And now they’re all gone thanks to your actions. Why did you betray me? Had I not been kind? Had I not given you everything you need?”

So this was it. It was time to finally face the music. Funny, I had expected to feel a lot more fear and a lot less guilt when this moment came. The shame I felt was almost as if my actions had hurt my true mother back home.

“Shining Armor and Cadance didn’t deserve to be our prisoners. All they did was protect their home. They did nothing wrong.” Chrysalis snorted in derision at my explanation.

“I would disagree, but noted. What about Nutcase? She was rescued as well.”

I looked away from her accusing glare. “That wasn’t my choice. I wanted her to stay here where she could be of use to the hive, but they wouldn’t leave her behind. They wanted to try her for her crimes and punish her themselves.”

“Her crimes against my changelings! Against my daughter! It is not their duty to punish her, it is mine!” I flinched at her sudden outburst and began to tremble. There was that fear I was expecting.

“M...maybe we can send an envoy to Celestia and explain. Maybe they’d release her back into our custody?”

“We are at war. The only envoy we will send to Celestia is an army with orders to bring us her head.” Chrysalis growled. I swallowed nervously before I decided to continue.

“There’s more. If I didn’t help Twilight Sparkle then they would have openly attacked the Hive to get Cadance and her husband back. They would have brought an army if need be. If that happened then a lot of changelings could have been killed. I wanted to avoid as much bloodshed as I could.”

Chrysalis’ anger faded and was replaced with a neutral expression. “Even now I still see some of Visage in you. She pushed hard to prevent any losses of our own kind and even hoped for a peaceful solution to the problems of feeding our changelings, just like her father.” She paused a moment then shook her head as the hard edge to her countenance returned. “But no, Jade Flare is right, she really isn’t there. She wasn’t this stupid, or disloyal. War had been declared from the moment I took those two from the Crystal Empire. With them fueling our army, we could have made a swift, decisive strike against the Equestrians and brought a quick end to the war. Without that power, we are now going to be embroiled in a long, bloody conflict where countless will die on both sides. If we don’t find another source of love to power us, then we may very well be ground into extinction.”

“Maybe if we just tried talking to Celestia, we could end this peacefully.“

“I doubt that very much, but even if we ended the war peacefully, our changelings are still left starving.”

“I'm sure if we just explained the situation that the ponies would help us.” I argued.

"Your father thought so, too." Chrysalis stated coldly, sending a shiver up my spine.

"And what happened to him?" I asked, scared to hear the answer. Chrysalis looked back to the statue of us before answering.

"Five years ago, he went to Canterlot to negotiate an arrangement with Princess Celestia. He was intercepted by Celestia on the outskirts of the city, and she murdered him." An undercurrent of pain and rage flowed through her words.

“You’re lying.” I couldn't believe her words. Celestia wouldn't resort to killing unnecessarily like that. Nothing in the show indicated that she would ever do something like that. A small voice echoed in my mind...this wasn't the show.

“The ponies can be rather savage when they feel like it.” An uncomfortable silence descended upon the room following Chrysalis’ assertion.

“So...what now?” I pawed at the carpet with a hoof nervously.

“Now I find a new source of love.” She stated in a matter of fact tone.

“I meant about me. Am I going to be executed?” There was no sense delaying this any longer. Whatever was to come, I would face it. Chyrsalis leveled an irritated stare my way.

“Have you learned nothing of us? Would I have spent so much love ensuring your recovery after I nearly killed you if I meant for you to die? Even if I could bring myself to execute my daughter's body, I wouldn't. We do not execute our criminals, we banish them.”

“So I’m to be banished then?” It was certainly better than I had expected. Sure, I’d be left wandering a world filled with beings that hated me, but I’d still be alive at least.

“Yes. You wish to return home, to your world filled with humans, correct?” I nodded eagerly. “Then I can think of no better punishment than to personally exile you there.”

I blinked and tried to say something, but couldn’t make my mouth work. Even after I betrayed her, Chrysalis was willing to send me home? This was too good to be true.

“You know how to get me back? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“As I said, I had hoped that with time Visage would come back and you would choose to stay. That and I don’t have a lock on your home world yet.”

“So you can’t send me home?” I asked, face scrunching up in confusion.

“Oh, I can. I had planned on taking my time and gradually locating your home through subtle scans of your psyche. It would have been a painless experience, but I can hasten the process. It will hurt, but it shouldn’t cause any permanent damage. This time tomorrow you can be back among the humans you love, and I hope that love you back.”

My eyes filled with tears of joy. This nightmare was about to end, I could finally go home to resume my normal life and not worry about ponies keeping me prisoner, crazies experimenting on me or being stuck forever as a love sucking bug pony.

“I’ll do it.”

“You don’t really have a choice.”

______________________________________

Several hours had passed since my conversation with Chrysalis that morning. I now stood in a large, mostly empty room near the military district of the Hive. Many changelings were in the room as well, some of which I knew. Chrysalis was there, of course, since she had to cast the magic to send me home. Doctor Dew-Drop, Jade Flare, and Drymanid, who Twilight had left behind after escaping, had all come to see me off after being informed of my impending banishment. Much to my surprise, even Pupa had shown up, though he was paying more attention to the proceedings and the Queen than to me. My farewells having been completed, I was now standing by the Queen in front of a mirror which would become the portal back home once the spell was complete.

“Concentrate on an image of home, it’ll make it much easier to lock onto it and ensure you arrive in a familiar location, as well as minimizing the pain you experience.” Chrysalis advised me, advice to which I nodded.

I closed my eyes and thought as clearly as possible about the living room of my little one bedroom apartment. I envisioned the ratty old sofa that my parents had given me when I moved out, the forty two inch flat screen TV, the simple beige carpeting, and that silly little Fluttershy clock I had hanging on the otherwise unadorned white walls.

As I tried to remember every little detail of home, I could feel a presence within my mind, as if I had somebody looking over my shoulder, seeing what I saw. It was an uncomfortable sensation, and the discomfort grew very quickly. Almost immediately, the sensation had passed the threshold required to cause pain, as if I had a headache at first, but it quickly grew to near unbearable levels. It felt like my head was being torn apart from the inside out by a wildfire that was running rampant within my skull. I screamed from the pure agony that I was experiencing. I screamed for what seemed like forever.

Then the pain stopped. It was instantaneous and complete. My body felt completely normal, only my memories of the torturous event and a sore throat provided evidence that it had happened at all.

I opened my eyes and found myself staring at the full length mirror in front of me. What had previously been a simple, reflective surface had transformed into an abyss of inky black with tendrils of ever moving green magic snaking across its surface. It looked far more sinister than I remembered the Equestria Girls mirror being, but as long as it could get me home I didn’t care what it looked like.

I looked over to Chrysalis beside me. “Did it work?” She smiled and nodded. I faced the mirror again, took a deep breath and then stepped forward.

It wasn’t the most pleasant sensation. It felt like I had set my foot where I had expected to find solid ground only to find empty space. I fell through inky blackness, worrying that I would injure myself when I landed. However, in mere moments my hoof landed on solid ground, finishing that step I had taken as if nothing had happened. My eyes were greeted by the back of my sofa and my television ahead of it, all lit by the late afternoon sun shining through my windows. I was finally home, but there was one problem. I was still a changeling. Actually, there were two problems. Something smelled terrible, like somebody’s dog had hidden some animal carcass in the building somewhere and it had been left to rot. This was admittedly less of a problem than my current bodily form, but only slightly.

I should have been panicking at this scenario. I should have been hyperventilating, curled up in a ball of nerves, or rushing back through that mirror that had suddenly appeared in my living room thanks to the spell to demand that Chrysalis change me back to a human, but instead my mind decided to focus on something else entirely.

Huh....so that’s how tall changelings are.

The familiar surroundings allowed me to estimate my own height. Just a little under four feet from the top of my head, if you’re curious. Perhaps the excitement over being home was overpowering any sense of trepidation over not being human, or maybe the reality of my situation simply hadn’t sunk in yet. Either way, I wasn’t concerned with my improper form yet.

I trotted into my kitchen and to the counter where I kept my phone. It was quite different looking at the counter top from my considerably lower vantage point. Much of my head poked above the edge, but not all of it. It was like I was a child again. I reared up on my hind legs and put my forelegs onto the edge of the counter to support me so that I could see my phone properly.

With a little bit of magical effort, I managed to bring the receiver to my ear and dial in the number for my voicemail. The little voice informed me that I had fifteen new messages. I played the first message.

“Hey Victor, it’s Ricky from TD. You’re late for work, did you forget to set your alarm again? Call me.”

Ah, Ricky. My co-worker and friend of twelve years. It was good to hear his voice again. Next message.

“Hey Victor, where were you today? The boss ain’t happy with you. You’re gonna have hell to pay tomorrow. You should really let us know if something’s come up.”

Most of the messages were from Ricky or other people from the bank and displayed a growing sense of either anger over my absence or concern for my wellbeing, depending on who was leaving the message. Eventually I was fired, and that was the end of the messages from work. It wasn’t the end of the messages from Ricky, though.

“Victor, please answer me. I’m worried. I came by your place earlier today but you weren’t home. Where have you been these past seven days? You’re landlord said he hasn’t seen you either and that you’re late on your rent. You’re not answering your cell phone either. Just please call me and let me know that you’re okay.”

There was one more message, this one from yesterday afternoon.

“Victor? It’s your mother. Ricky tells me you have been missing for the past twelve days. He’s afraid that he did something and that you refuse to talk to him. We’re worried that something has happened to you. I know you sometimes like to just go off somewhere without telling anybody, but this is too much. If you don’t contact us by tomorrow, I’m going to phone the police and report you missing.”

“It sounds like they truly love you.” I jumped at the invading voice and forgot that I was still a quadruped for a moment, resulting in me painfully smashing my face on the counter as I fell to the floor. Chrysalis stood a couple metres away, chuckling at my misfortune.

“So this is what the human world looks like. It’s....big. And it stinks.” Drymanid walked into the kitchen as well, with his nose wrinkled in disgust.

“It doesn’t usually smell like this. I think something crawled into a vent and died or something.” I defended the assault upon my home’s honor. It may not be much, but it was mine. “Wait, that’s not important. I’m a changeling.”

Chrysalis looked at me as if I had just said that the sky is blue. “Yes. You are.”

I groaned in frustration. “No, I mean I’m not a human, can’t you do something about turning me back to normal?”

“You are a changeling. If you want to be human again then become human.” Chrysalis dismissed my concerns. My eye twitched at her casual response.

“I don’t know how, I didn’t get far enough with my training to transform into a human. Anyway, it’s not the same. I don’t want to be disguised as a human. I want to actually be a human again.”

“I can’t give you back your body. Consider yourself lucky I could get you back home in the first place. Anyway, Drymanid here has offered to stay with you and teach you what you need to know. He’s no Jade Flare, but he’ll have to do.” Dryma bowed his head respectfully at being mentioned, though the display was somewhat hampered by his still wrinkled up nose.

“If I’m going to stay here, maybe we could do something about that smell.” He suggested as Chrysalis walked off to further explore my apartment.

“Yeah,” I nodded in agreement, “it’s making me feel sick too.”

“I think it’s coming from this way.”

Dryma walked off in the direction he indicated, so I followed him. We gradually drew closer to the source of the odour, if the increasing potency of the scent was any indication. Eventually we stood outside my closed bedroom door. With a twist of his magical grip, the door opened and a blast of the foul stench nearly caused us to gag. For once I was glad that I no longer ate anything since it meant I couldn’t vomit up my last meal. Flies were everywhere in my bedroom, buzzing about frantically at our intrusion. Trying my best to breathe as little as possible, I scanned the room for the highest concentration of the buzzing insects. A distinct sinking feeling greeted me when I found their source.

I hesitantly approached it, no longer certain that I wanted to find out what was causing the smell. Drymanid, however, had no such compunction and trotted past me with determined curiosity in his eyes.

“It seems to be coming from under-“ Dryma was interrupted by a sudden and violent coughing fit. Upon recovery, he lifted a hoof to shield his mouth. “Sorry, princess...I think I swallowed a fly. Anyway, it seems to be coming from under here.” Without further ado, he tore the blankets from the bed with his magical grasp and revealed what lay beneath.

Mere moments after seeing it, my legs collapsed, I went into dry heaves and tears flowed down my inhuman face.

Dryma gave an involuntary leap at the sound of me hitting the floor. Upon seeing what I was going through he came to my side and began rubbing my back.

“What is that thing?” He asked as he attempted to comfort me. I stayed there, kneeling on the floor trembling. I wanted desperately to look at anything but that, but I could not look away.

“It’s me.”

Lying on the bed was what was left of my body after what I could only assume was near two weeks of decomposition. Countless maggots feasted upon my discoloured, bloated flesh. Rotting bodily fluids had leaked out of my orifices, both the natural ones and the ones created by the burrowing maggots. The blanket on the floor and the sheets beneath me were soaked with the rancid fluids. I forced myself to look away as I fought against the return of the dry heaves.

“I’m dead.” I whispered in shock. From the moment I had found myself in Equestria I had tried to find a way to return to humanity and home, yet the entire time I was just lying in my bed, rotting away.

I laughed.

I laughed so hard.

My slight frame trembled under the weight of my mirth.

This wasn’t happening! I wasn’t dead, of course, that’d be ridiculous! Did I seriously think that I had somehow inhabited the body of a monster from a children’s cartoon and gotten thrust into their world? That was impossible. It went completely against all laws of science and nature. It must be some sort of hallucination caused by somebody drugging my drink at a club, or I had simply gone crazy and I was resting comfortably in a padded cell somewhere. There was no way such a thing could have happened. There was no way that I was dead.

A pair of big blue eyes came blurrily into view as I felt a pair of hooves shaking me from my shoulders.

“Get a hold of yourself!” The blurry blue eyed thing ordered. I smiled goofily at it.

“It’s okay, it’s just a dream. I’m not dead. I can’t be dead.” The laughter returned in spite of the shaking and pleas to calm down. Why would I need to calm down? I’m fine! Nothing is wrong!

I kept on giggling in a deranged manner until I was slapped with a very hard hoof.

I stared at the one who hit me.

“This isn’t a dream. You need to face reality, no matter how hard it is to accept.”

“Dryma?” My voice cracked as I called out to the one in front of me in despair. He wrapped his hooves around me and drew me into a tight hug. I burst into loud, wracking sobs as he held me close.

“I’m here. Let it out, it’ll be okay.” He cooed his comforting lie into my ear.

For several minutes we sat there with him holding onto me until I had no more tears left to spill and I was left feeling numb. Even then we didn’t move. I could sense his genuine sympathy flowing into me like a waterfall into its basin. He had dropped his emotional shield just so I would know I wasn’t alone.

“Thank you.” I slowly separated from him. “I’m sorry for....that.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for.”

I merely nodded.

“Let’s get out of here.” He suggested, guiding me out of the room with a hoof and into the entry hallway.

Bang, bang, bang, bang!

The pounding of fist upon wood filled my apartment. My eyes darted towards its source. Chrysalis, previously forgotten in my grief, appeared next to us in the hallway curious about the sound. Somebody was at my door.

“This is the RCMP, we are here with your mother and your landlord. Open the door or we will force our way in!”

I could hear the voice of Mr. Stacey, my landlord, saying something to the police. While his words were muffled, I could make out something about a key and complaints about my irresponsibility. I could also hear my mother scolding him tersely.

Oh god, my mother! My mother was just outside, separated from me by a few meters and a thin layer of wood. My heart ached with longing. I so wanted to see her, especially after the soul rending experience I just had. I looked down upon my holey limbs and fear grew in my chest.

“She can’t see me like this!” Newfound energy flowed into my exhausted form from the sudden onset of panic. Chrysalis calmly went up to the door as more banging commenced.

“Open up, this is your last-“ Chrysalis casually opened the door and gave a toothy smile to the four people standing just outside, “warning?”

“What the fuck is that?” The second officer asked of the first. The four humans stood tensely, staring at the black monstrosity that stood just inside the apartment.

“Greetings, I am Queen Chrysalis, and you are my prisoners.” She declared to the shock of her audience. The policemen reached for their guns, but they were too slow. Chrysalis blasted them back with her magic into the wall opposite my door.

“Mom!” I shouted as I dashed through the door and to my injured mother’s side.

Chrysalis whipped her attention towards me, seemingly confused and then disappointed for a moment before recovering to her normal self. I nudged my mother with my muzzle, trying to wake her up. The pile of humanity groaned a little, but none of them got up from where they had fallen.

Changeling soldiers, the ones that had been nearby when Chrysalis had cast the spell to create the portal, filed out the door and shoved me aside. They carried the four people into my apartment. I followed after them, pleading with them to leave my mother alone, but none listened to me. They were being carried towards my bedroom, much to my terror.

“My Queen, what are you doing? Can’t you see how much this is hurting your daughter?” Drymanid asked of his monarch, eyeing their intended destination with trepidation.

“I am not her mother.” She stated flatly while bitterly watching the woman her soldiers carried past her.

Desperate to prevent my mother from seeing the horrors that lay in my room, I leapt at the soldier that was carrying her and bit into his shoulder. The crunch of chitin giving out to my teeth filled my ears and warm blood flowed into my mouth. My mother slid to the floor as his magical grip faltered. With a grunt of pain, the changeling I was attached to shoved back in return, easily overpowering me and slamming me into the wall where I let go of him, stunned.

Before I had fully recovered, I was lifted into the air by Chrysalis’ magic, preventing me from taking any more actions to stop them. I floated through the air along with them, right into the room where my corpse waited. Drymanid followed after us, distraught and unable to do anything to protect his charge lest he incur the wrath of his Queen.

“Why are you doing this? Please, let them go!” I begged of the Queen who stared at me with cold eyes.

“I told you, with the princess of love gone I need to find a new source of food for my hive." She responded coldly. "I’m merely fulfilling my obligation as Queen.”

The soldiers were busy creating cocoons of magic to bind their captives inside. First the RCMP officers were hung up from the ceiling in their green prisons, then my landlord. While my mother was being wrapped inside her own cocoon, she began to stir awake with a groan. Her eyes filled with panic as they darted from the changelings buzzing around her as they wove her prison, to the imposing figure of Queen Chrysalis, to me floating in the air with a tear stained face, and finally to the grisly sight upon my bed.

My mother screamed until she was rendered paralyzed by a spell from Chrysalis’ horn.