To do that which I was asked.

Dream sequence

I'm running through forest, a Monster chasing me. Somehow i'm staying ahead as it crushes the trees behind me, trying to get to me. But I can't here the trees splintering, all I hear is a blub, like when you drop a pebble in water. However, I can here screams, cut off short, terrified cries of  "Mommy!", "Daddy No!" and the worst of all. "Why Mark, why would you hurt them like this, wha-what have they done Marky?" Then. Finally, the one that breaks me, causing me to just stop running. To stand still and just accept it, numbness spreading through my entire body as tears stream down my face.

"Mark! Please, no, no Marky Don-AHHHHH-!"

As I sit there, the Monster crawls up behind me, I turn around.

"Why? Why do you torment me?" I ask.

"Torment you? Me?" It asks, sounding Incredulous. "Why Mark, It's you who's doing this. Don't you remember? I am you. And Mark. I will win eventually, when that happens All Will Be CLEANSED!

Waking World, Mark/Omnus

I jolt upwards, accidentally head-butting the creepy pink one. Pinkie Pie.

"Owie Wowie I don't like this game. To much pain, I mean, a little pain is nice, but only when I'm nice and strapped up!" She exclaims... Hmmm, might have to remember that...

"Maybe for you, but I prefer giving it out, just a little fun, a little nibble here, a pinch there. a nice strap somewhere else. Perfect." I purr, flirtatiously.

"Well then," She said, smirking, "I may just have to prep a little 'surgery kit'" She waggled her eyebrows.

"All that aside." I said, getting back to business. "Why were you watching me sleep?"

"Oh that? I just came in and wanted to see if you sleep like us!" She said, joyfu-... you know what? She says everything joyfully. "The princesses sent me to tell you that breakfast was ready! And Twilight, Rainbow and Applejack are all listening at the door!" Right as she said that the three of them stumbling in... To Pinkie Straddling me and only my bare chest visible... uh oh.

Rainbow turned red... Shouldn't that be purple with the fur? "Hey Freak! Get outta Pinkie!" She charged us... While we were laying down... with the blanket between us... Did she think I had a fucking hole in the blanket?

She jumped on the bed as Applejack was saying "Now hold on now Rainbow!"

"You want some to Skittles? I can take of two at once. Even four if you two are up to it." I said, suggestively.

"Ye- wait no! Shut up!" Said Rainbitch, punching my chest. Repeatedly. Luckily I'm now solidified goo so i just jiggled, a bit like jelly.

"Rainbow get offa him." said Applejack.. I like her. "You too Pinkie." She said after a moment. Damn.

"What were you two doing anyway?" Asks *Purple*

"Oh we were just seducing each other until the precious little Alchohol, Vampire-book and M&M came in." I say, calmly. Sending Pinkie into a giggle-fit, still on top of me... Shaking... on my crotch.

"Oooh, Someones getting antsy is he?" She giggles, cutely, while shaking her ass a bit. I merely groan a bit.

As the other three left, each varying degrees of red (HAH TWILIGHT IS A VIRGIN... maybe some breaking in later... oh well.) Pinkie and I had a little 'Party' of our own. Just regular, she and I quote, "Forgot my equipment, sorry, maybe next time!"

About half an our later we came to the dining hall, hair wet from our showers (What, you think I'm doing a walk of shame in what amounts to a six star hotel?) Surprisingly enough they were all waiting at the table. The Mane six (Minus Pinkie) all had red faces and the princesses were squinting at me, as always Spike didn't care. What a Bro.

"And what were you two doing?" Asks Celestia, pointedly

"You wanna take this or shall I?" asks Pinkie

"Ladies first, I say, bowing and sweeping my arms towards the table.

"Thank you. Well you see Princess, when a mare and a stallion decide that they wanna make extra special cake-frosting, They have a little Party of Two, Sometime, like now, It's Really good! Sometime it isn't though." she exclaimed... yeah that made me puff my chest out in pride I admit. "And then, if the mares in he-"

"Thank you Pinkie, I believe we get the picture." Tia said, raising a hand and blushing madly. So was Lu. "Please, just sit down. We Will discuss this later Omnus." In the 'No-Arguement' voice... But I couldn't resist.

"But TIIAAAAA!" I cheeked.

We sat down and the waiters came along to collect our orders. I don't know what the other got but I got a bowl of assorted gems.

The food arrived and I started crunching down. (I crave those minerals.) Chewing only to be polite. I didn't even have to use my mouth to chew really, it's just a force of habit. Apparently Spike was curious of some things.

"So what kind of party did Pinkie mean?" He asked, causing me to choke somehow, and Pinkie to take a drought of juice to do a spit take at me with masterful precision. I extended my mouth outwards and caught all of it, naturally.

"How old are you, Spike?" I ask.

"I'm eighteen, why?" he says, causing me to actually loose form for a second, turning into goo and devouring the chair and some tiles.

"Ei-Eighteen. and you don't know what the birds and the bees are? and you're so small?" I say. when I reform. summoning extra tiles and another chair. "Have you been eating your meats?"

"Wha-ew! No, why? I don't have to!" He says, disgusted. I... I  just don't even...

"What!?!" I yell "You Are Dragon. Sharp Teeth. Sharp Claws. Predator Look. Brain Says No."

"Wait, so, I'm meant to eat meat?" he asks.

"You will actually die form not eating meat. Have you even had fish? Omega 3 Tablets, Iron tablets, Have you kept you teeth sharp? what about soy beans? at least tell me you ate them, Hell, even pistachios!?" I'm standing up now, Angered.

"Spike doesn't need any of those. He has the gemstones to supplement them." Says Fucking Purple... FuckING.

"Do you even realise what you just said?! YOU ARE NOT GOING TO FIND LIVING CELLS IN A GEMSTONE YOU STUPID GODDAMN ARHGHHG!" I just crash. Covering my face and hanging my head. "Just, just fucking scan him, scan his living to dead cell ratio. Spike is a carnivore. Not. A. Herbivore. Goddammit woman have you even asked any other dragons what they eat. I know for a fact that the castle has a book on them, detailing diets."

Spike is pale, just sitting there staring off into nowhere. God. He's eighteen and doesn't have wings. Dragons normally get those at 6! He's got the body of a toddler!

Most of the others are shocked as well, except for Tia, who looks shamed. and Lu, who merely has her eyes widened.

Purple just sits there. Looking. Fucking. Angry. FUCKING! ANGRY!

"And Just Who Are You To Tell me what Spike Needs!?" She demands.

I start shifting into a golden dragon. the size of a fifteen-year old

(size)

"Considering I lived among them for at least fifty years. A lot. I know a shitload of there customs. And No. I will not be telling you them, they are reserved for members of the Dragon Hoard." I said, angrily. then went to the gardens.

As I was walking in the gardens I remembered about Disso andstarted heading towards his statue. Lo and behold, when I got there someone was stoned (and I don't mean Discord).

A pony was there, she looked like a tree-hugging type. So I started a conversation, to both of them.

"Hello, how are ya?" I ask.

"Good, man, I'm just, shifting through the colours of the auras. Seeing the different ones this statue has man." She says, sounding drugged "My names Tree Hugger by the way man."

Hey wait. how does she know what a man is?"

[I do not know and it disturbs me] says discord,

{Well... Do you have an answer? To the question I asked last time?} I say back.

"Hey man, why are you like, talking to the statue man?" She asks... Oh god she's an aura sensor. I thought she was just high.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I deadpan, glaring at her. Luckily she takes the hint and back off

"Okay man, just be careful y'know, Discord is not connected to the earth. only the spirit realm, and he creates only Illusions." With that said she... turns into a sapling? What the fuck? is that how she tele- k'now what? fuck it.

[Who the, She. What?] Says Discord, confused.

{My answer?} I ask, subtly telling him not to question weird ponies.

[I'll take the 6 month option, another six ain't going to do anything after all.] He says... using logic.

{Alright then. Hey, don't get stoned again, I'm not sure what'll happen if it hits someone twice, It could scramble your brains into being less chaotic over time, thereby making the world screwy and making me have to become a mass-murderer or something.} I warn, jokingly.

[Don't worry, I always have a backup plan... as long as you aren't involved] He jokes. I fucking love this guy.

{See you when I see you mate. and, as always, I'm sorry.} I say.

[We've been over this, it was not your fucking fault. You have nothing to be sorry for.] He gently says. telling me to shut the fuck up and get over it.

That night, Omnus

I walk, as if with purpose, across the courtyard and towards the dungeon, shifting my form into dark green goo as I go, and slithering up the grassy hill that's right in front of the royal dungeons.

As I enter the dungeons I feel that I tripped a magic alarm.

"Oh Shit." I say, as i started sprinting towards the cel of my sister. keeping as quite as I could while going that fast.

I skid to a halt in front of her cell.

"Hey sis, Wake up, wake up now!" I say, as I rush to melt the bars off the cell. Now in human form.

"Huh, wha? BIG BROTHER!" She exclaims, joyously, "How did you get here. Those big meanies wouldn't let you in, I know for a fact that the blue one would have just sent another hallucination to torment me, instead of one of yo-" She pauses her ranting as that bars melt.

I rush into the cell, Grabbing her and quickly turning around and sprinting, as I reach the exit to the dungeon I see both Celestia and Luna standing there. They look suprised.

Qucikly I turnaround, beginning to spring the other way, there should be a sewer entrance somewhere. Not even hearing  their calls of

"Wait, Omnus!"

There it is. Right at the back of the Dungeon. I shift the arm that isn't holding Jane into a crowbar, jamming it into the side of the manhole and jimmying it up, right as we duck down I hear the words, the words that will haunt me for a Very. Long. Time.

"Wait Omnus! Thats an enemy to the state, she must be Tortured For Information" Luna yells.

It's at that moment when I decide, Fuck Equestria. Fuck the sisters. Fuck the elements of harmony. Fuck Chrysalis and Sombra.

Fuck it all.