Chapters I know it was worth it.
I guess I should start from the beginning. I mean you don't end up like me without something happening. But what was the beginning of this story? Hmm... OH! I know! Lets start like this.
You know when you're a kid and you have that cute innocent look on your face at all times without realizing it? That look of pure wonder that vanishes (for most people) when you're in middle school? Well I lost in first grade. It was replaced by a mask of arrogance and cockiness to hide all the pain I felt. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
When I was a kid my family was always AWAY. The only person in my family who wasn't constantly out of the country was my grandfather. So for a while my older brother, twin sister and I lived in his care, together, as siblings. *Sigh* Good times. Then in first grade my siblings left.They became famous because of our other family. They left their own sister alone even though they knew I was being bullied then. And my parents... well it was obvious they didn't want me. Imagine a six year old little girl knowing the world was a dark and cruel place that only wanted to hurt you and you'd get a pretty good idea of me back then. Gramps was the only one who loved me. Understood me. Sure he could be a bit blunt sometimes but he was still amazing. I remember this one time when he talked to me about loyalty.
"Grandpa why do I stand up for other people but they don't stand up for me?" "Well sweetie it's because you're loyal to them and they aren't very loyal to you." "Loyal? What's that?" " Loyalty Rainbow is when you'll stick by your friends and family even when they don't stand up for you. It's a wonderful blessing-" "Sounds like a curse." " I wasn't finished." " Sorry." "As I was saying it's wonderful blessing around you but sometimes it's a curse to you." "Does no one else have this?" "Only a few special people Dash, and you're one of them."
He always called me Izzie after an incident in middle school with my friend Emma. I guess I should tell you about Emma. She was one of the most loyal people I know. She was also a very good listener. Even when she moved in eighth grade, I would still call her when I needed help.
However the summer after freshmen year, Gramps died. He was killed in a car wreck. I could have saved him if I was just a little bit faster.
When Twilight came the first time and made Applejack speak to me I was almost emotionless. All my emotions had been buried deep down and all others saw was my arrogance, which by now had been defined as my "core personality trait". So when I saw Applejack wanting to talk to me after , what? Two years? Then I discover why we aren't friends? Yet I still forgave her. Stupid loyalty!
Flash forward, Battle of the Bands. The sirens made old fears come back. Old pains. As did trying to be friends with Sunset. I made my mask better. I wrote "Awesome as I wanna Be". I HATE THAT SONG. It's one big lie. I was ready to kiss Sunset when she stopped it. I do like playing the guitar though; it's one of my life's few joys.
Friendship Games, nothing happened during the games but after... Oh... So that's when it started. For real this time.
"Hey Rainbow." I glanced up to see who it was.
"You were really cool out there, becoming half pony and saving us." I rolled my eyes.
" You must mean Sunset, she did in fact, save the world from certain doom."
" Eh, you all become half pony hybrids at some point." I playfully smacked his arm. Then I got a good long look at him. Not a quick glance, but a look. He was so toned.His smile designed to ensnare and entrance girls like me. His beautiful green eyes shone like emeralds, called me to him. Um no. Love wasn't a good thing in my book. I wouldn't play this game.
I smiled and said," Listen, I've got to go to a picnic with the girls, BYE!" I tried to leave but he grabbed my arm.
"Do you want to hang out later?"
"Sure" I said before I could stop myself. Curse his beautiful eyes and enchanting smile! I keep musing over his good looks and wonderful politeness until I got to the picnic. "Sorry I'm late guys! I ran into someone and they wouldn't let me leave!" Not that I wanted to. Gah! Annoying girly feelings!
" No problem sugercube, Rarity just got here too."
" Oh please darling, I had priorities!" Applejack rolled her eyes.
"Yah mean like makeup?"
"Of course!" Rarity looked at me. " Who'd you bump into?"
" Um... no one... just Soarin."
"Oh... Do you like him?"
"WHAT? No." Then a bunch of thought came threw my head.Do I like him? Of course not. I hardly know the guy. But he's so cute! GAH! STUPID GIRLY THOUGHTS!
"Okay then." Rarity said with an evil smirk.
"Oh dear..." Fluttershy said softly.
Well my plan to not fall for Soarin lasted a good three weeks. After that we were in a wonderful (but secret) relationship. Then after a while we... hooked up. We were very very drunk that night and I don't remember most of it. I~~hoped and prayed~~ thought Soarin didn't either. Then something happened between us and we broke up.
I went threw the five stages of grief as normal. Denial I didn't really go threw because I learned early on that denying things did not make them better. Anger lasted a little longer. I was always in a bad mood during that phase.
"Sugercube are you OK?" "I'm fine." Applejack had been following me around all day and it was starting to get on my nerves. "Are yah sure? You've been acting mite strange for a while."Oh so that's why you've been following me around all day. Well Miss Stalker if you must know... As you can see I was in one of my worst moods.
Bargaining was next. That phase was interesting because Pony Twilight came to check up on us. That was also kinda awkward with Human Twilight and Sunset dating, and Pony Twi didn't know that. We were all at Pinkie's for a sleepover when it happened. Applejack had challenged me to a rematch at video games. Normally I would have said yes but that day the only thing on my mind was, what if? What if I had been better to him? What if I had never met him? Would I be spared this pain? What if? My thoughts were interrupted by Applejack. "Rainbow Dash, what's wrong? You just started staring into space and that's mitey unlike you."
"No"
"I beg your pardon?"
" I said no. I don't want to rematch you in video games, you always when anyways, so what's the point?" Everyone stared at me.
"You. Just. Admitted. Applejack. Is. Better. Than. You. At. Something." Fluttershy said emphasizing each word to make sure she got it all. I had accidentally let my mask side off. And it felt great. But somehow I still needed it.
"I... uh... maybe?" Great job you numb skulk now more explaining. Rarity broke the silence.
"Darlings I think i know what's made Rainbow act so strange."
" Oh really? I sure don't" Pony Twilight said.
" Rainbow everyone, if I'm correct, has been brokenhearted for some time now."
"WHAT?!"
"Rainbow, is that true?" Sunset asked. I didn't reply. I just looked at the floor.
"Oh my. What happened?" Fluttershy asked concerned.
"I... don't want to talk about it."
"O-okay."
Depression was okay. My friends were there for me and I got a lot of ice cream from Rarity. Now I normally don't like ice cream that much but I was stuffing myself. Not really good for an athlete, but HEY! I was depressed.
After a while I was (for the most part) over Soarin. Life was normal or as close as you can get. Pinkie Pie had even started talking about random things again. (She TRIED to stop when I was heartbroken. Key word TRIED.)
"I'm just saying life would be better without periods!"
"I see what you mean Pinkie but everything in life happens for a reason."
"I agree with Pinkie."
"Not you too Fluttershy!" Pinkie and Twilight were discussing the importance of periods.I haven't had a period in two months! That means.... WHOA WHOA WHOA it could mean anything! *Mental sigh* I need to stop kidding myself. But could I really be... pregnant?
" Uh... Dashie? HEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLOOOO?"
"W-what?" I was snapped back into reality by Pinkie Pie. Everybody was looking at me with concern. " Sorry guys, totally zoned out."
"We noticed sugercube... Ya know you've been doing that a lot recently. Ya'll okay?" I rolled my eyes. Ever since Rarity's " proclamation" that I had a broken heart, everyone was going out of their way to make sure I was OK.
"I'm fine." Boy that was a lie.
When I got home I ran upstairs to where the pregnancy tests were. (They were from my time with my friend Emma, DON'T ASK.) I took it and waited. It came out positive. I laid down on my bed and cried. What else could I do? I was pregnant with my ex's kid. Of course Soarin was the father.Pregnant with your ex's kid. Those words rang threw my head. I could imagine what everyone would say.
" You should have been more responsible."
"Slut."
"Worthless."
And they'ed be right. More importantly I couldn't afford a kid. After Gramps died, he left me his HUGE house. My other family only gave me money for 6 weeks. Which is awful because they. Are. All. Rich. I had to get 4 jobs to keep the house. I was going to sell it but my heart wouldn't let me. It was the only piece of Gramps I had left. It was hard enough to pay the bills but a KID? I wanted this kid to have a good life, so, adoption? Until then, I'll hide my *Ahem* condition. So I did. I got pills to hide my morning sickness. I used this weird corset thing to make my size normal. And I somehow managed to control my cravings.
However as my due date came closer, I found myself in a sticky situation.I can't give birth here! What to do what to do? Hmm... I found a place called Madam's School For Girls. It was a home for girls like me. I found where I was going to give birth. I then told everybody that I had a stomach infection and was going to get it treated. Rarity watched my house. I offered to pay her but she declined. " I'm doing it as a favor. Plus, this is one of my favorite houses."
When I got there I met a girl named White Rose. She~~was~~is a great friend. I told her about my life and she told me about her's. Apparently her family ditched her as soon as they learned she was expecting. " Which is why," she concluded," I am going to keep my child, for they are the only family I have." I wished I had her courage. But I couldn't keep my kid. Or kids. I was having twin girls. White Rose was waiting to find out the gender of her child.
At last my time came. At my side was White Rose for support and the doctor for obvious reasons. "You're doing great Rainbow, the head's out!"
"AAAAAAHHHHH OOOOHHHHH IT HURTS!"
" I know." White Rose had given birth the week before and was comforting me in this road of endless pain.
"That's it! Your first daughter is born! And I must say she is a beauty!" The sound of a baby crying soon filled the room. I must say it filled me with, content. I didn't know why. As the nurse cleaned my new daughter I had the other one. Childbirth sucks. The nurse cleaned her up and wrapped both newborns in blankets.
" Do you want to hold them?" I looked at White Rose. She gave me an encouraging nod.
"Yes." I got to see my daughters' faces for the first time. The older one had rainbow hair like me but with horizontal stripes instead of vertical. She light blue skin and beautiful purple eyes. I named her Ragtag. The younger one had many shades of blue in her hair, a little darker blue skin skin, and amazing teal eyes. I named her Shooting Star. I couldn't give them away, they were my very life now.
" So," White Rose said," What do you think?"
" All that I've faced, everything that made me want to cry, all those hardships," I looked at my children's faces. "I know it was all worth it."
Author's Note
... I actually did this. I am a terrible person. Sorry the Soarindash was rushed, I has to get to the part where RD became a mom
I feel joy again
I honestly don't know how I did it. I managed to hide the fact that I was a single mother from the rest of the world. White Rose helped. I mean she helped a LOT. After we left Madam's School she started a day care to earn money. I would drop off Ragtag and Shooting Star before school and pick them up as soon as I could. This continued even after I graduated. I couldn't afford to go to collage and my heart wouldn't let me leave the twins. Everything was cool for five years, Ragtag and Shooting Star were five, I was twenty-three.
I had been called to a group meeting by Rarity, who had been going to Manehatten for a while now. So White Rose agreed to watch my kids while I was gone.
"But Mommy," Ragtag complained, "I want to spend today with YOU."
"I know sweetheart but I have grown up stuff today."
"Fine." She started to pout. She remind me of myself, trying to tough when sad.
"I'll make it up to you." She looked up.
"Promise?"
"Promise." She smiled. I ~~loved~~ love her smile. It's so perfect. Like her. I remember when she first smiled. I cried I was so happy. Her smile was also very contagious. I smiled back.
"Mommy, how long will you be gone?" Shooting Star asked.
"Only a few hours." I pulled up into the driveway "Here we are!" White Rose met us at the door. Her son Lightning ran up.
"Hey guys, ready to lose at video games!" Shooting Star laughed.
"You wish!" The kids ran inside, no doubt to play video games.
"Thanks again." I said.
"No problem. It's fun." I nodded.
"I'll call you if there's any problems."
"K"
When I got to Sugercube Conner, I saw that Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Twilight, and Sunset were already there. Applejack looked at me and said, "Looks like we're just waiting for Rarity... again." Rarity pulled up in a limo.
"My friends! So glad to see you again!"
"You too Rarity, how was Manehatten?" Sunset asked politely.
"It was simply grand. Also..." She held out her hand. "I'm engaged!" We all jumped up and squealed.
"Oh Rarity, I'm so exited for you!" Fluttershy exclaimed.
"We'll need a 'Rarity's Getting Married Party'!"
"An 'Engagement Party' sugercube."
"Yeah, that."
"Who's the groom?" Twilight asked. Rarity smiled.
"Oh Paws honey come out!" Paws? No no no. That's not possible. He's in... Manehatten? This can't be happening. Nope this is a very bad dream and I am going to wake up. Paws came out of the limo. My ex-older brother. The one I hadn't heard from in years. Was. Standing. In. Front. Of. Me.
"Oh Rarity yo're engaged to Paws, the world famous vet!" Fluttershy exclaimed. Paws looked around and then he saw me.
"Rares, I didn't know you were friends with my baby sis!" He tried to hug me.
'I am not your sister, you all made that very clear." I avoided his hug.
"Are you talking about first grade? Cause if you are- "
I interrupted him. "No I'm talking about my sophomore year. You know how long I got money after Gramps death? 6 weeks! That was the last I ever heard from you!"
"What? I'm still sending money!"
"Well I don't get it."
"Well maybe the 'awesome Rainbow Dash' decided she didn't need any help and threw all the money away!"
"You think I can do that?! I have four jobs and I didn't go to collage, DOES THAT SATISFY YOU?!" I had years worth of anger stored up inside me and I was going to let it all out. Not all of it was directed at Paws of coarse. Some of it was directed at my grandmothers, my parents, and most of all my twin sister. We were just about to yell again when Rarity beat us to it.
"STOP! What is going on here? Shouldn't you two be happy to see each other after such a long period of time?"
"Not in this family." I muttered.
"Rainbow Dash, what's gotten into you? you should be more polite!" I ignore her and turn back to Paws.
"Anything else you have to say?"
"Well the family is coming and we thought 'Hey Dash has Gramps huge house, why don't we stay there?' just until the wedding is over." I was trembling with anger. These knuckleheads dared to invade my home! I was about to give him a piece of my mind when I realizedWait! Ragtag and Shooting Star's stuff! How am I supposed to explain that? Calm down Rainbow, calm down. ,
"Uh....... When are they arriving?"
"About one hour." An hour? Welp I'm doomed. White Rose can't take care of my kids for, how long again? \
"When is the wedding?"
" In two months." Two months! And I can't spend that long without Ragtag and Shooting Star and with my OTHER family. What to do.....THAT'S IT! I had an idea so crazy it had to work.
"See you later!"
"Uh.... Dash?" I ran to my car. I drove to White's house to tell her my plan.
"So you're going to get an apartment where you and the twins can live until your family moves out and you want me to hid some of their stuff."
"Yes."
"Can't you just tell them?"
"NO!"
"Okay I'll do it." White Rose never nosed around. She was great that way. I thanked her and went to get all the stuff she was going to hid.Then I got an apartment, I was just leaving when my grandmothers arrived.
"Rainbow, darling, what are you doing?" Grandma D (Dad's side) asked me.
"Well I'm renting the house to you! Enjoy it! I'll take all the money after the wedding!"
"What?" Granny C (Mom's side) looked puzzled. I love making them look like that.
"Yep! It's ten dollars a day per person. Tell Rarity it's free for her."
"Huh?"
"See you later!" I left them confused and stunned.
"Mommy, why aren't we going home?" Shooting Star asked.
"Well sweetie.... we're going on an adventure."
"An ADVENTURE! COOL!" Ragtag said. I smiled. My children were so innocent. Unlike me at their age.
We got to the hotel soon after that. The kids started to chase each other. They loved to do that. I stopped them and we had dinner."So how your day?"
"Well," Ragtag started,"We went to the zoo with Miss Rose. It was so fun!" I looked at Ragtag and then at Shooting Star. The day had been rough and I was an emotional wreak but, when I saw their faces, I could feel joy again.
Author's Note
This took longer than expected because I forgot to save and it deleted everything!
I Believe Again
I believe again
I went to meet Rarity at Sugar Cube Conner to discus the wedding.
"So, Rainbow Dash, you are the grooms sister and one of the bridesmaids. I thought it fighting for you and I to discus important matters. We shall then meet up with the others and our wedding planner."
"Great Rarity! I'm happy to help!" Help you that is. "I hope you are enjoying the house?"
"Oh it is amazing! *Ahem* First order of business, flowers." And so the day began. The shopping actually went faster than I expected. Since I was with Rarity, I had expected it to take ALL day. However it took less than two hours. Lucky me. After the shopping was finished Rarity and I went to see one of the POSSIBLE areas the wedding could take place. It was called Blue Gardens.
"It's called 'Blue Gardens' because of all of the blue flowers and plants." Twilight explained to everyone,
"Uh huh. OH LOOK DASHIE AND RARITY ARE HERE!!!" Pinkie cried eager to stop the lecture.
"How was shopping?" Fluttershy asked politely. I shrugged. Rarity, however, was ready to talk.
"Wonderful! Did you know Rainbow here has the most amazing fashion sense?" Applejack chuckled.
"Dash? Fashion sense? I never thought those words would go in the same sentence." I blushed. Luckily no one noticed.
"Now honey, are you ready for the girls to meet our wedding planner?" Paws asked Rarity. Rarity nodded. Paws motioned for someone to come in.
It was Emma. She was one of me best friends in middle school. I gasped when I saw her and she gasped as well.
"IZZIE!!!" Emma pulled me into a hug. "I haven't seen you in forever! What's up? Have you met anyone yet?" Emma raised her eyebrow. I blushed. Did she always have to start with that question? Paws was looking at Emma with awe. He thought Gramps was the only one allowed to call me Izzie.
He thought wrong.
"N-no! Emma get off of me!" I said trying to get Emma off of me. "I thought you were going to be a doctor? What happened?" I asked when Emma finally got off of me. Emma shrugged.
"I'm still working on being a doctor. Wedding planning is just a hobby. Plus, I need to pay my loans off." Emma shook her head. "But anyway~"
"Paws, darling, do you mean to tell me that our wedding planner is not a professional?" Rarity said with a fake smile. Paws paled. Luckly for him, Emma started to talk again.
"Izzie, you look different." Emma decided. She started to stare at me.
"Uh. . . What?" I had gotten used to Emma's randomness, but y'know, I hadn't seen her in years.
"I mean you look like you, but not like you. Does that make sense?" Everyone looked at her like she was crazy. Well, not Pinkie who just nodded enthusiastically. After a little bit Emma snapped her fingers. "I've got it! Have you gained any weight recently?"
"EMMA!" A voice came from the back. I recognized her, it was Macy, Emma's girlfriend. (Do you want to know how long they've been together? To bad because I don't know.) "That was rude!" Macy said to Emma as she smacked the back of Emma's head.
"OW!"
"Sorry about that. Emma just has no filter." Macy laughed. Her eyes narrowed. "But. . . now that I look at you, have you gained weight?"
"Hey!" I pouted. I can't look that different, can I? Everyone else laughed as well.
"You're definitely not as thin as were a couple of years ago sugar-cube." Applejack added. I glared at her.
"Okay! Now that we lightened the mood a little bit, we need to start planning!" Emma said, still chuckling. "Macy, could you bring out the groomsmen?" Emma turned to Macy. Macy nodded and went to get the groomsmen. After a few minutes Macy came back, but I didn't see who she brought with her. I was too wrapped up in my own thoughts.
"So the bridesmaids are Sunset, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Applejack, Rainbow, and the maid of honor is Thunder Cloud, but she's not here right now. The grooms men are Flash, Big Mac, Cheese, Caramel, Soarin and Sandlewood. Got that?" Macy said, addressing all of us. One name, to me, stood out above the rest. Soarin? No way. It can't be. When I glanced up, my fears were confirmed. It was him.
The father of my children, Soarin Skies. We locked eyes. It reminded me of high school. When we first started dating. I flushed and looked at my feet, hoping it would go unnoticed.
Emma noticed. She noticed and then she gasped loudly. Which never is a good sign. Everyone (mainly Macy) gave her a look. Macy then continued.
"Um. . . anyway, Twilight, you agreed to preform the ceremony, right?"
"Yes." Twilight nodded.
"Perhaps darling, we should . . . " Rarity started talking, but I wasn't listing. Emma kept glancing between Soarin and I. If that wasn't worrisome enough, at one point she looked at me and winked. I had a hunch she was going to do something.
SOMETHING VERY BAD.
I didn't have time to think about what she was going to do, because all of the sudden, it was time to go. We all were going to meet back in about a week, so everyone who was in the wedding could meet. That would probably be the point when Rarity and Paws tell us who we were paired up with. Oh joy.
"See you soon!" Someone shouted as I went into my car. Yeah. See you soon. I thought. But it's too soon to see him.
As soon as I got to White Rose's house to pick up my children, I started to wonder what would have happened had Soarin stayed in my life. Would I be happier? Would Ragtag and Shooting Star be happier? I guess I'll never know. But we don't need him. Or my siblings. Or my parents. Or my grandmothers. We're fine.
"Mommy!" Ragtag tackled me, Shooting Star on her heels.
"Hi girls. Were you good for Miss Rose while I was gone?" I asked. It was so good to see them after a long day. They nodded.
"We won at video games!" Shooting Star said proudly. It was so cute, I didn't even try to correct her grammar.
"Did you?"
"Yeah! We're awesome!" Ragtag added, throwing her fists in the air. I almost winced at the word 'awesome' but I held it in. That word reminded me of. . . everything really.
"You really are! Now go thank Miss Rose for being so nice!" Ragtag ran off to go say thank you, but Shooting Star stayed behind with me. "Aren't you going to go with your sister?" I asked gently. She paused for a moment.
"Only if you come too." She grabbed my hand and started to follow Ragtag. I smiled. Shooting Star was a bit shyer than her sister, and preferred to do everything with me or Ragtag. Or both of us. I found it adorable and secretly hoped she'd never grow out of it.
Watching my daughters always gave me a ray of hope. As they were thanking White Rose, I couldn't help but think. When I see their faces, I believe again.
Author's Note
HAHAHAHAHAHA I POSTED ANOTHER CHAPTER!
To be honest, I had this written down, I just hadn't typed it.
