Sunset withdrew her hand.
Blood.
She held her head up, not even surprising at the sight.
Should have seen it coming, she thought as she made her way to her locker, It’s not like I don’t deserve it…
She remembered again what had hit her. The book. One that read ‘Advanced physics’ found the way to Sunset’s head in the perfect arc to make her hit her forehead against the edge of ‘World War II’ that she had borrowed earlier from the library. The teacher had acted angry at the class, but Sunset knew better. She could almost see her laughing at the teacher’s lounge while retelling the story to the other teachers, who would also laugh when she finished “and she was so upset!” with a huge smile all over her stupid face.
After all of that, Sunset entered in that practically common place of sorrow that was the same than that burning crater at the entrance. She had felt not pity for herself, but for everyone else that had the disgrace of meeting her, especially those five that seemed so eager in being her “friends”
It was ironic, really. Everything from this situation of helplessness to the fact that what had hit her today was a book that had the specific instructions on how to throw stuff the right way. She let out a chuckle, but it sounded desperate and broken in her ears, so she stopped smiling and chuckling to keep the steady walk while looking the totally uninteresting roof.
She passed some lights, trying to not think of anything while touching from time to time her nose, proving to herself that she was still bleeding.
She reached a hall with a particularly distinct roof, and she turned her head a little to look at her left. The row of lockers was a little more… entertaining to see than that of the roof, but still not amusing enough as to stare at it.
She reached her locker to put the combination, but she didn’t find the strength to will her arm up and make it. She had lost all her will, all her reasons to actually do stuff in the most colorful version of the death laser that she had ever seen, and the only version that she had been forced to partake.
And so, she remained there, looking to the roof while trying to find some- any strength to open her locker.
Stupid locker she thought as she raised her hand-
And the bell rang.
Sunset’s head shot upright, her heartbeat quickening and her hand zooming to the lock and turning it to put a couple of books in and taking some fluffy ball out.
She felt a warm drop fall to the back of her hand as she desperately slammed close her locker and started running towards the library, catching glimpses of people just getting outside of their classrooms.
She skied to a stop just in front of the library doors and quickly got inside. Luckily, she had made it before anyone else, so she just stepped in and started going the same way as always.
Up the ladder, forward to the fifth row, and then into it, to the depths of the library.
She then remembered the cotton in her hand and the blood in its back, which was totally dried. She sighed and licked her index finger and began rubbing the maroon spot just above her thumb, while starting to tilt her sight upwards once more. She reached one of the booths that was there, and sat while cutting a piece of the cotton.
Once twirled, she stuck it to the side of her nose that was still red, but not bleeding anymore.
Then, she just sat there and tried to not think about the jerk that had thrown the book.
Well, you know just as well as me that he had a reason, said her own voice in her head.
“Yeah, I know” she answered to herself.
Then why do you call him a jerk? You know the only real jerk around here is you and me.
“Yeah, I guess. Still, it hurt a lot and then no one seemed to care. I don’t know which one hurt most.”
If I was to guess, I think they both were the same, but with different… representations. You know, one being-
“Physical and the other emotional, yeah, I get it.”
…we should do something, don’t you think, Sunset?
“Maybe, me, but I think I speak for both of us when I say that I’m not in the mood to make any more plans or anything like that for now… Maybe later down the year”
I guess you’re right, being me and all, but I think you- I- We should do something with the- She felt something like a quiver inside of her, followed by a light knot in her throat and a little sigh escaped her lips –Girls
“They shouldn’t be near me, Fluttershy is not getting more help from me ‘helping her’, Applejack doesn’t want to be near me, Rainbow Dash always says she’s too busy with the teams, I have no idea how I could help Rarity even if she asked me to and I never seem to be able to find Pinkie.” She pondered for a second. “Well, maybe that’s her own way to say ‘I don’t want you near me, monster ’, but I might be wrong”
She didn’t hear her own reply.
“See, even I don’t want to talk to me, apparently.”
You’re being too harsh on yourself, don’t you say?
“I’m already telling myself, right?”
Beats me, I could be as much a part of you as I’m a part of me, but I don’t think I see the difference.
“… I’m really getting crazy without more people”
Of course you are; you are talking to yourself in an empty library, probably missing the last period of class where you’ll have the unconditional support of one of- Sunset stopped herself with a sigh
“-Them…” She looked to her phone.
Sunset started running to the library, realizing that she was already late to class.
This had to be the worst case scenario. There couldn’t be anything that Sunset hated more than this specific situation.
Entering the class late.
It wouldn’t be this bad if she was normal, but she knew what would happen.
She would knock, and, after a couple of seconds and steps, the teacher would open the door smiling only to frown the second he or she recognized Sunset. They would ask something as “Yes?” in the coldest tone they could muster, and Sunset would say that she got distracted in the library- partially true –and ask if she could come in, ignoring the tsk or growl or any other disapproving sound the teacher made as he opened the door, just for Sunset to see all of her classmates glaring daggers at her, or hiding on a book, or quickly turning away, or frowning, or anything else but smile or wave at her.
And so, she stood on the frame of the door, petrified under all of those gazes and not daring to move.
Ms. Yearling broke the spell “Are you going in?” Someone laughed in the back.
Sunset couldn’t delay anymore “Sorry” She muttered in a hurry before fixing her gaze- A terribly scared and submissive gaze- on the girl that had an empty seat besides her, who just sighed and casted her eyes down while moving her head side to side.
She sat as Ms. Yearling continued the class.
Sunset wasn’t paying attention, and didn’t even notice when her “friend” whispered something to her.
She was just there, not even trying. It wasn’t worth the hassle.
Or that’s what she said to herself, even when she knew that it was a lie. She was only lying to herself, so there was nothing wrong with that lie.
