A Horse Divided

Trixie finished unloading the items from the cart into the living room space. Her bags, the two large, coffin-shaped boxes, and the metal slats. She pulled some garments from one of her bags. She donned a large pointy hat, adorned with stars and a matching cape. She unfolded the legs on the bottom of the large boxes, propping them up to waist level. Twilight watched all of this with a studious gaze.

Watching the items being unpacked that is, not the pony unpacking them, of course. That would be silly. Why would she have any reason to watch those toned muscles ripple beneath her supple, azure flank, each time she bent over to unpack. There was no reason at all. Twilight found herself salivating. It was close to dinner time after all. She must have been hungrier than she thought. Yeah, that was it.

"I'm going to make something for dinner," Twilight said as she headed into the kitchen, "do you want anything?"

"The Great and Powerful Trixie is positively famished!" she said, defaulting to her third person speech. "She will take the finest Canterlot cuisine you have!" Twilight poked her head into the refrigerator.

"She'll be eating her words if she doesn't knock that off!" she called out. "All we've got is bread, enough daisies for maybe... one sandwich, and some frozen hay fries." Twilight frowned. "I guess my folks weren't planning on entertaining this weekend."

"AHHHHHH!" Trixie screamed from the other room, followed by another yelling voice.

"Who the hell are you! What are you doing in my house!" Twilight recognized the voice of her brother, Shining Armor. She ran back into the living room. Her brother had picked up a chair with his magic, threatening the blue intruder. Trixie meanwhile was likewise shielding herself with the coffee table levitated in front of her.

"Shining! Wait!" Twilight yelled as she ran in. Shining looked to her.

"Is she with you?" he asked.

"YES!" the two mares answered in unison.

"Oh," he blushed, setting the chair down gently. "I'm sorry." Trixie also placed the coffee table back on the floor. "It was an honest mistake. I wasn't expecting there to be guests."

"That's quite alright Mr... Shining was it?" Trixie looked to Twilight. "Well Twilight, aren't you going to introduce us?" Twilight rolled her eyes.

"This is Shining Armor, my brother. Shining, this is Trixie. She's one of my classmates."

"Twilight's brother!" Trixie said with a gleam in her eye. "Twilight, you never told me that your brother was so... handsome." Shining blushed harder.

"I never told you I had a brother at all." Twilight muttered.

"Well, it's so good to finally see Twilight making some friends, Mrs. Trixie." Shining said.

"She's not my-"

"Miss Trixie" she corrected, cutting Twilight off.

"Oh for pony's sake..." Twilight grumbled.

"I'm sorry, Miss Trixie." He looked at Twilight. "Um, where's Mom and Dad?"

"They're on vacation this weekend," she said. Shining smacked his forehead with his hoof.

"That's right! I forgot. Their trip to Neighagara!" he said.

"What about you? What are you doing home?"

"I'm on leave from the guard for the holiday. Thought I'd come home for a visit. I wasn't expecting... sorry about that again."

"No harm done." Trixie said.

"Oh, are you two hungry?" he asked, retrieving the box he'd dropped at the door. "I brought takeout pizza to share with Mom and Dad, but since they're not here..."

"You are Trixie's new, favorite pony!" Trixie said taking the box and greedily helping herself. Shining gave Twilight a sideways look.

"Yeah. She's always like that."

"So what have you got going on here?" Shining asked as he eyed the equipment filling the floor space of the living room.

"Trshshy ish gummminm tuh perfffrm mergisch!" Trixie tried to say with her mouth full.

"Trixie is going to 'perform magic'," Twilight translated, making little air quotes with her hooves.

"Sheee ISSSH!" Trixie retorted to Twilight sarcasm.

"Can I watch?" Shining asked. Trixie swallowed what she was chewing, deigning to grace them with her voice in absence of sputtering bits of food in the process.

"Of course! Be prepared to be amazed, for the Great and Powerful Trixie to perform the most fantastic feats of magic ever witnessed by pony eyes!"

"And I'm going to... help." Twilight reluctantly added.

"But of course! Every great magician requires the assistance of an able sidekick!" Trixie said.

"Ooh, exciting!" Shining said, taking a seat on the couch and eating the one remaining slice of pizza.

"Wait, how am I the sidekick?" Neither of them heard her. Shining was enraptured by Trixie, already starting her warm-up act. She teleported a bouquet of flowers from her bag to her hooves, seemingly making them 'appear' out of thin air. Shining didn't see past the simple ruse, clapping his hooves like a innocent foal. Twilight saw the empty pizza box. "What am I going to eat?"

"There is bread, enough daisies for at least one sandwich, and some frozen hay fries." Trixie recited from earlier.

"How gracious of you." Twilight deadpanned. Twilight made herself a simple sandwich and put the hay fries in the oven on a timer. It wasn't much, but it would be enough for tonight until she could go to the market tomorrow. She ate the sandwich and walked back into the living room. "So Trixie, what was it that you needed help with?"

The living room was empty. Twilight could hear noise from upstairs and went up to see what was going on. Trixie was walking through the upstairs hall, peeking into each room.

"Where will Trixie be sleeping tonight?" Trixie asked.

"We don't really have a guest room. I guess you could sleep on the cou-"

"Trixie saw a spacious king-size bed at the end of the hall that would suit her fine."

"Absolutely not! That's my parents room. And I want it exactly as they left it." Twilight said. Trixie walked down the hallway and looked into the next bedroom. "No. That's mine," Twilight said, "And I intend to use it."

"She can sleep in my bed."

"Shining!" Twilight was aghast at his implication.

"I mean, while I sleep on the couch," he said, "I don't mind sharing."

"Mmm, Trixie doesn't mind sharing either," she purred, flicking him with her tail.

"TRIXIE!" Twilight fumed at her so overtly flirting with her brother. Trixie trotted downstairs to carry on the show. Twilight glared at Shining as they followed after.

"What? I'm just trying to be a good lodger," he said, "I didn't see you offering your bed to your friend."

"She's not my-"

"For the Great and Powerful Trixie's final feat of magical wonderment, she will require a volunteer from the audience!" Sitting back on the couch, Shining raised his hoof immediately, holding it with his other, and waving it back and forth like a spastic foal.

"Ooh! Ooh! Pick me! Pick me, Trixie! Trixieeeee! Pick meeee!" Shining said. The competition for the most annoying pony in the room suddenly became a close race. Twilight stood silently beside him, debating whether or not knock them both unconscious and call it a night. Trixie played it up, squinting her eyes into the 'audience', scanning back and forth.

"Hmmm, how about, YOU!" she said, pointing at Twilight.

"AWGH!" Shining groaned loudly. "Lucky!"

"Yes. Lucky me." Twilight deadpanned.

"It's true, my enthusiastic little admirer! She is lucky! Now step right up!" Twilight took barely a full step forward.

"Whoa!" Twilight gasped as Trixie lifted her into the air above one of the large, open boxes.

"Uh, Trixie, what kind of a trick is this?" Twilight asked.

"Please! Tricks are something that a WHORSE does! Trixie performs magical FEATS of illusion!"

"What kind of 'feat' is this?" she asked again. Trixie lowered her into the box and closed it. Twilight's head was sticking out of the hole at one end, and her hooves hung out of the other.

"For Trixie's final illusion, she will CUT A PONY IN HALF!" Trixie brandished a comically-large wood saw. Twilight's eyes went wide. Trixie brought the saw to the seam in the box. Twilight screamed in terror. Trixie stopped and rubbed the bridge of her nose. "It's an Illusion! An illuuuuuuuusion! The saw is just for show." Twilight sighed when Trixie put the saw down. She, instead, picked up a large metal slat, and before Twilight could even react, slammed it down into the seam of the box, clearly bisecting the space Twilight's body was occupying.

But Twilight felt nothing. No pain. Whatever sort of 'illusion' this was, it clearly worked. It must have been a trick slat or something, Twilight decided. Trixie took her magic wand from her bag and tapped the box with it.

"PRESTO, CHANGE-O, REARRANGE-O!" she said theatrically. And then, she pulled the two halves of the box apart. Twilight couldn't tell what was happening, but the look on her brother's face had her concerned. Trixie had gotten him to somehow turn a whiter shade of pale. It wasn't until Trixie brought the other half of the box around and showed Twilight her own legs hanging out with no upper half. Twilight kicked her hoof. The detached leg in the other box moved.

"AHHHHHHH!" Twilight screamed. Trixie smirked, clearly pleased with herself that she was able to impress Celestia's prized pupil.

"It's magic, Twilight! You're fine!" Trixie tried to reassure her.

"How are you doing this!?" Twilight screamed. "You barely passed magic kindergarten! And that was only because you cheated! Put me back together! Now!"

"In due time, my little bookworm." Trixie said.

"ME NEXT! ME NEXT!" Shining was practically hopping up and down.

"Of course! Come right up!" Trixie said, opening the other box.

"Why do you even have two?" Twilight asked.

"It was buy one, get one... HALF OFF." Trixie said with a grin.

"Ah ha! I get that! I get that joke!" Shining said as Trixie levitated him into the other box. "That is good, you should totally use that."

"I just did," she said putting the metal slat through the other box. Twilight cringed. It looked very convincing from the outside.. Trixie tapped the other box with her wand.

"PRESTO, CHANGE-O, REARRANGE-O!" she said theatrically. And then, she pulled the two halves of the box apart, pushing Shining's upper half beside Twilight's. Shining lacked any visible fear, despite what he'd just seen happen to Twilight. He just had that goofy grin that he usually wore when they'd go on carnival rides. He looked over at her, beside him.

"Isn't this exciting?" he asked.

"Yeah, it actually is." Twilight said nervously. This was beyond mere illusion. This was actual alteration magic. Twilight had only studied it in theory. They were still at least a year from practicing it in school. How could Trixie possibly know how to do this? "Um, Trixie, could you please put us together now?"

"Of course!" Trixie said. "What magical feat would be complete without its dramatic conclusion?!"

"The sooner the better," Twilight said, her voice a bit shaky. Trixie obliged, bringing the bottom halves to the tops. She tapped the boxes with her wand.

"PRESTO, CHANGE-O, REARRANGE-O!" she said theatrically. And then, she opened the boxes, letting the siblings climb out.

Twilight and her brother both got out, and onto their hooves. Their lower halves had been reattached.

"AAAAAAAHHHH!" Twilight shrieked.

"AAAIIIIIEEEEEEEHHHH!" Shining shrieked also, somehow with a higher pitch.

Trixie just grinned a wicked grin.

Their lower halves had been reattached. But to the wrong ponies. Twilight watched Shining panic, trotting in place frantically his two front, white hooves, and her back, lavender ones, complete with her Cutie Mark. Twilight looked back at her own hind quarters. Her brother's flank and tail moved at her command, a part of her now.

"It worked! It actually worked!" Trixie said triumphantly. "Trixie truly is the most powerful, most magical equine that has EVER LIVED!"

"Great, sure! Now put us back the way we were!" Twilight demanded.

"Yeah, you've had your fun, now fix us." Shining said with an edge of anger to his voice.

"Very well. The Great and Powerful-"

"NOW!" the Sparkle siblings barked in unison.

"Okay, okay." Trixie lifted Twilight and set her back in the box, closing it again. She lifted Shining up over the other box.

BBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTT!!!

The timer alarm on the stove went off, startling Trixie and breaking her concentration. She dropped Shining in the box. But the fragile prop was no match for the mass of the falling stallion. It smashed to splinters. Trixie stared at the destroyed box under the bruised pony in abject horror. Her mouth fell open, as two whispered words fell out.

"Oh, shit."

Trixie's whispered words hung in the silent room. Twilight lifted herself up out of her box and looked at the scattered wooden carnage on the floor.

"What's the big deal? It's just a prop." Twilight said. "Hurry up and fix us."

"Trixie can't do it without the box!" Trixie said.

"Just say the words and do the spell and swap us back! Do it, or else it'll be presto change-o your face I'll rearrange-o!" Twilight threatened.

"Trixie- ugh, I- I can't!" Trixie cried. "I never could! The wand, the words, the spell! None of it's real! It's all for show! The boxes were enchanted to do all the work!" Trixie sobbed. Her mind raced.

"I don't have a permit for these!" Trixie thought, panicked. She was screwed. She could run. But Princess Celestia would find her. For this, for Twilight, she would scour Equestria with every resource at her disposal. "I've mutilated Celestia's prized protege with flesh magic. They hang ponies for that don't they?" She was SO screwed.

"Trixie! Come on, think!" Twilight put her hooves to her temples. "Okay, I've got it! What if you cut me in half, and then open the box and take-"

"NO!" Trixie shouted. "You can't! You can't open them when they're separated. It's a safety feature. If you opened them it would actually cut a pony in half! It would kill you!" Trixie cried harder.

"Okay. Come on, work with me here. Where did you get these?"

"A shop in Hoofington."

"Do these only work as a matched set, or can you get another?"

"Trixie could- I could get it repaired, or replaced!" Trixie's face lit up with hope. "That would work!"

"Okay! Good! We have a plan!" Twilight said. "We'll just go to Hoofington-"

"We?" Shining said, shaking his purple flank. "You and I are not going anywhere! Not like this!" Twilight looked at her own two-toned body and scratched her chin.

"Okay, Trixie, you go to Hoofington, and get this repaired, or replaced, then bring it back here. If you leave now..." Twilight quickly did the math, "you should be able to make it back by... Sunday."

"But-" Trixie started.

"But what?"

"But Trixie- but I... don't have any money." Trixie said.

"You don't have any money?" Shining asked.

"Not enough for this," she answered. Twilight ran upstairs, returning with a ceramic pig.

"Shining, I'm smashing your piggy bank," she said.

"But that's for emergencies!" he whined. Twilight's eyebrows furrowed as she grabbed him, glaring at him with a twitching eye.

"What the hell do you think THIS is!?" she growled, smashing the pig on the floor, gathering up the Bits from the broken pieces. Shining whimpered.

"Aww. Pigly."

"Is this enough?" Twilight asked, dumping the bits into Trixie's hooves. "Enough to get you to Hoofington and back, and get the box?" Trixie counted it out quickly.

"Yes," she answered, "You can count on me, I- I know what would happen if the Princess ever found out that I did this to you. Twilight walked her to the door, letting her out.

"Hopefully she'll never have to." Twilight said, calming down.

"Thank you, Twilight," she said, erring closer. They just stared at each other for a moment, into each others eyes

"Hurry back." With that, Twilight closed the door and Trixie hurried to the Canterlot Train station. Inside Twilight leaned against the door and groaned. "What else could go wrong?" she asked, tempting fate.

She smelled smoke in the house.

Fate obliged