Chapters Starlight Glimmer kept her eyes closed.
As long as she kept her eyes closed, she could pretend she was still asleep. She could pretend that everything she'd been through was some horrible nightmare. She could pretend that the crushing weight enveloping her was merely a collection of blankets and sheets, not a mixture of listlessness and guilt. She could pretend... she could pretend that she was back home. Back with the ponies she considered her friends, back... back in the village they had built together.
She could pretend that she wasn't a monster.
The door creaked open. "Hey Starlight! Breakfast is ready!"
Her illusion was shattered by the young voice. True, there had been foals in the village, using stencils to eagerly paint their flanks, and they did on occasion walk into her home to tell her that yes, breakfast was ready.
This voice wasn't one of those.
She lifted her sheets with her magic, straightening them absently as she slipped out of bed. "Alright, Spike. I'll... be there in a moment." It was hard for her to smile these days, but she did manage a small one; behind her, the pillows lifted as each sheet was placed precisely, before descending in an even arrangement. "I just need to clean myself up."
Spike's eyes narrowed. "You're not going to try to run off, are you?"
Starlight let out a small, measured laugh. "Where would I go Spike?" She turned to look at the drooping eyes reflected in the vanity mirror. "Where would I go..."
"Well... alright, I guess." The dragon frowned as she automatically levitated a comb and a few hair clips. "Just... try to get out here before Twilight starts worrying, alright?"
"Alright. Sure." Starlight nodded absently, shooing Spike away with a half-hearted hoof. "I'll be out there momentarily..."
After a moment, she heard him walk away.
The comb maneuvered through her mane in the usual, even strokes, each lock carefully put into its place before she bound it up. It was rote, routine, regular... comforting. And yet... despite how well groomed she looked, there was something about the pony in the mirror that felt ragged and... wrong.
Maybe it was because it was the face of a lie. The promise of love and care, founded on hate and rage.
Starlight Glimmer shook her head, turning away from the mirror. She would change. She had to change. The princess had, explicitly, told her she was to be her new student; she would follow her tenants with the same zealous vigor she had followed her own. Otherwise... well, there would be no point to it all.
Hooves weighted by the guilt of her own ignorance and stubbornness, she trotted out of the room and down the hall.
Starlight didn't break stride, walking quickly down a series of staircases to the ground floor; it didn't take her long to reach the dining room. With a steadying breath, she knocked on the door.
After a few moments, Spike opened it and rolled his eyes. "You're living here now, you know. You don't need to knock."
Starlight winced. "...Sorry..."
"Nah, it's fine. Come on in." He stepped back, waving her toward an empty seat with a plate of... waffles. Not crepes or other high class pastries, but waffles. It was honestly quite incongruous with the golden table, golden chairs, and fancy decorations everywhere. At least Spike seemed comfortable, hopping up to his own seat easily enough...
...his own seat, on Twilight Sparkle's right.
Starlight stepped cautiously into the room, walking to the empty chair--set to Twilight's left. Twilight herself was giving her a casual smile. With a motion somewhere between a nod and a bow, she took her assigned position, levitating the fork and knife.
"So, Starlight." Twilight idly cut up her own waffles. "Did you sleep well?"
The unicorn sighed. "...well enough. Your beds are... comfortable."
"I'll have to tell Davenport about that stunning review." The alicorn brought her fork up to her mouth. "Mmmmmm! Pinkie Pie is an excellent baker. I'll have to remember to to thank her for making these."
"It wasn't a problem at all!" said the pink pony suddenly at Starlight's left.
"GAH!" Starlight jumped in her seat. "What in the name of Celestia?!"
"Pinkie does that sometimes," Twilight explained simply. "It's just... Pinkie being Pinkie."
"Wait, you mean that an earth pony has linked their magic to the aetherial plane instead of the material one, and you just pass it off as normal?"
Pinkie gasped a gasp that took ten whole seconds to run through its tune. "THAT'S what's been going on?! Hokey smokes, I had no idea!"
Twilight blinked. "Wait, what?! How did you figure that out?!"
Starlight bit her lip. "Well... my, uh...." She flinched, eyes darting to her flank for a moment. "My special is in alteration of magic. It's easy for me to see when a pony has their own magical field different from... normal..."
An awkward silence descended on table.
"Well!" Twilight managed. "That's... impressive!"
Starlight fidgeted in her seat.
"No really, it is!" the princess insisted. "I mean, my special talent is magic in general, but I know how difficult it is to study new spells to cast. Being able to adapt as easily as you can, that's amazing."
"...yeah, sure." Starlight prodded at her waffles. "Amazing."
Twilight Sparkle frowned, looking at her for a long while.
"So!" She clapped her hooves together. "Friendship lessons. Now, I could subject you to a series of lectures and study books, but from my personal experience the best way to learn about friendship is out in the field." She levitated up a scroll with a checklist. "For today, we'll be running a generalized overview with my own friends, discussing their own views on what friendship is and how it should be applied."
"OOO! OOO!" Pinkie waved her hoof eagerly in the air. "Can I go first? Can I can I can I pleeeeeeeeeeease?!"
Spike rolled his eyes. "I don't think she's going to take no for an answer, Twilight."
"Alright, Pinkie," Twilight acceded with an indulgent chuckle. "You can go first."
"YAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
Pinkie jumped in glee, hanging in the air for just a moment too long before darting out of the room. Mere seconds later, the lights went out. And then a spotlight shone on the table, where the pink mare stood in a labcoat and goggles next to a projection screen.
"Friendship," she said seriously, "is the application of mutual interest in another's wellbeing to a long-term relationship." She pointed to the image of two smiling faces on the screen. "It exists within all species capable of observing separate identities in other individuals, and will generally form the bedrock of all group activities and interactions for that species. The level of friendship varies between relationships, from merely giving a polite nod to outright marrying a pony, but the defining aspect is choosing to care for a self that is not the self of oneself with no outside force enforcing the engagement. This results in appreciation from the other self, and generally ensures a like-minded reaction in the other self to the original self, resulting in a positive feedback loop that can best be described as 'tons of fun'."
The lights suddenly snapped back on, and Pinkie pulled her goggles up with a grin. "So OBVIOUSLY the best way to apply friendship is to just go out and make friends! You'll figure out the rest on the way."
Twilight blinked, partially out of surprise, and partially to adjust to the suddenly changed light level. "Wow, that's... actually a well thought out definition. How long did it take you to come up with?"
"Eh, half a minute, give or take." Pinkie kicked at the projection screen, and it folded up into a simple rod. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to friendship over at Sugarcube Corner for my day job. TTFN!" She jumped off the table and tail-hopped out the door.
Twilight shook her head with a grin. "There we go, then. Oh, Spike!" she said suddenly, turning to her number one assistant. "Do you want to give any friendship advice?"
The dragon shrugged. "I'm still trying to figure out where Pinkie got the spotlight. If I come up with anything I'll tell you."
"Alright." Twilight pulled a quill out. "Pinkie Pie, CHECK!"
Starlight blinked at her. "You eat breakfast with a scroll and quill next to you?"
"...yes?"
"...huh."
"Speaking of which, as soon as you're done we can head out to talk to the other four bearers!" Twilight grinned. "It'll be great!"
"Yeah...." Starlight poked at her waffles again. "Great...."
"Hyah! Yah! And hiya!" Rainbow Dash bucked her last cloud, brushing off her chest with a smirk. "That's all of them. Cloudkicker, what's the number?"
"You managed to get it down to eight point five seconds."
"What? Only eight point five?" Rainbow shook her head. "It was eight point two last time...."
"You win some, you lose some." The purple pegasus put her stopwatch down. "And after that big storm Sunday, getting the sky clear at all is impressive. Look, it's been fun, but I've gotta go check on my lil sis, you know?"
"Right, right." Rainbow waved her off, smiling. "Guess I'll just have to work myself harder next time."
Cloudkicker rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, Dash." She unfolded her wings and took to the air. "Oh, hey princess."
"Hello Cloudkicker. Am I interrupting or...?"
"Nah, we just got done. I'll leave you to it."
Rainbow grinned, coming down for a landing as Cloudkicker took off. "Twilight! What's up?" She frowned, tilting her head to look behind her friend. "And, uh, why'd you bring her ?"
Twilight glanced back at Spike and Starlight. "Oh, well, I figured I'd start Starlight's friendship lessons with a general overview."
The blue pegasus frowned. "Really. I kind of figured 'don't use magic ever again' would cover the basics."
"That's... pretty unreasonable, Rainbow. Magic is part of her special talent." Twilight gave her a pointed look. "It'd be like asking you never to fly again."
"Well, yeah, but I'm an awesome hero."
The purple alicorn sighed. "Look, Dash, she's really sorry and she's not going to do that again. Can't you have have a little trust in her?
"Trust her? Twilight, she stole our cutie marks and nearly destroyed Equestria, like, seven times!"
"Those are alternate timelines," Twilight pointed out. "None of that happened in any reality we can readily access, and furthermore Starlight was not made aware of the results of her actions until the very end."
"Well... yeah, but still--!"
"Rainbow, if we don't help her, who will?"
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth, shut it, narrowed her eyes... and finally kicked at the ground. "Fine. What do you want me to do?"
"Well, I figured you could tell Starlight what you think friendship is and how you apply it."
"Yeah, sure. Hey Glim!"
Starlight Glimmer looked up from her conversation with Spike as Rainbow flew over. "Ah... hello, Rainbow Dash. I like what you've done with the sky today--"
"Yeah, sure whatever. Look, the friendship thing? That's when a pony is willing to drop what they've got going and do stuff with you, like go on a big adventure or watch sports or stuff. Flipside is you've gotta be willing to do the same for them when they need it. Got it? Good. I'm out."
Twilight sighed as Rainbow zipped into the sky. "I'm sorry about that. She... might have taken the whole 'stop my first rainboom' thing a little too personally."
Starlight sighed, folding her ears back. "Well... it's not like I don't deserve it."
"You're not the first pony who's made mistakes that hurt others, Starlight," Twilight assured her. "Nightmare Moon, Coco Pommel, Silver Shill... heck, you were spying on me for my reunion with Moondancer, you know how I messed that one up! As a matter of fact, all of us have made big mistakes sometimes." She gave the unicorn a gentle smile. "What matters is that you're trying to become a better pony."
Starlight Glimmer kept her eyes on the ground as she walked.
"Uh, Twi?" Spike gave her a look. "Might not have been best to mention the whole spying thing."
"Oh! Right. Sorry, I didn't mean to imply--"
"It happened," Starlight said flatly.
"...right. Uh, well, this is Fluttershy's cottage!" Twilight waved a hoof at the grass-covered building across the footbridge. "She's probably inside, taking care of her animal friends. I'll just go get her." She trotted up to the door and knocked, her eyes darting back to the unicorn.
The door opened just enough for a yellow pony to stick her head out. "Oh! Hello Twilight. And... Starlight, Spike." She opened the door a bit wider, stepping aside. "Would you like to come in?"
"We're not staying long," Twilight explained. "I just brought Starlight here so you could explain what you think friendship is and how it should be applied to day to day living."
Fluttershy rose an eyebrow. "Well... I'm sure you know what you're doing. You're the princess of friendship after all. I just wonder... do you really think friendship is something that can be, well, taught? "
"...Yes? I mean, I did make all those friendship reports, and there's the friendship journal."
"Oh. Right."
Starlight cleared her throat from beyond the footbridge. "If this is a bad time, we can go."
"Oh, it's not a problem, really. I was just... well." Fluttershy stepped out. "I suppose I was gathering my thoughts, is all. Now, friendship..." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "I suppose a friend is somepony who... accepts you for who you are, maybe tries to help you work through your flaws but not to the point of trying to change you completely. So friendship is sharing kindness, just... talking, and helping others, and... well, being willing to listen, I suppose." Her feathers ruffled. "I'm sorry, I... well, I don't make many pony friends, but I treasure the ones I have."
The unicorn nodded. "That's... quite understandable. I think I'm the same way, really. Very... possessive, isolated."
Fluttershy frowned. "That's not how I would put it."
"Sorry, you're right, that's not what you're like." Starlight rubbed the back of her head. "I... wow. Just talking?"
"And listening. I find listening is more important."
"...yeah."
Twilight smiled broadly. "See? This is good, this is friendship happening right here!"
Starlight gave her a long look.
"...what?"
"Nothing." Starlight shook her head. "It's nothing."
"And here we have Sweet Apple Acres." Twilight swung her hoof in a wide gesture that encompassed an enormous number of apple trees. "This is where my friend Applejack lives and works. It's been in her family since... well, since Ponyville was founded actually." She shot Starlight a sly glance. "Her Granny Smith was actually present for that. And she's still alive!"
Starlight looked up, startled. "Wait... seriously? I thought this town was at least a century old."
"It might be older! I've never asked how old Granny Smith is, though."
The unicorn stared at her. Then she rolled her eyes. "You want me to check her magic for anything weird."
"It's for science Starlight! Please?"
"Aren't we here to talk about friendship, though?"
"Well..." Twilight sighed. "Yes. I'm sorry, I just thought, after Pinkie... I'm just curious, you know?"
Starlight opened her mouth... and shut it, suddenly, looking at the ground. "...if you really want me to--"
"I don't want to force it. You shouldn't have to do anything you're uncomfortable with."
They stood in silence for a few awkward moments.
"Oh hey! There's Applejack!" Spike jumped up and started waving. "AJ! OVER HERE!"
Twilight grinned as the orange mare trotted up, wiping sweat off her brow and trotting up to them. "Hey Spike. Hey Twi. Hey... Starlight." Her smile wavered, but didn't disappear. "How are ya?"
"Oh, we're good, mostly. There was this... thing with Rainbow earlier," Twilight mentioned with a grumble. "But I think beside that we're doing alright."
Starlight flicked her tail and kicked at the ground. Applejack glanced at her. "Really."
"Yes." Twilight's eyes flicked toward Starlight, and she stepped forward. "I just want to give her a chance to learn what friendship means," she whispered to Applejack. "Can you not make a scene?"
"Ah'll give her a chance, Twi, but she's the one that has to decide what tah do with it."
"Thanks." Twilight leaned back and cleared her throat. "So! We were wondering what you thought of friendship. Specifically, what it is and how to apply it."
"Huh. Let me think... Well, Ah know a good friend is faithful and strong, willin' tah stick with ya through thick and thin. It's all about... well, friends and family are basically the same thing. You lean on them, and they lean on ya. Ya support each other, no matter what comes up. Least that's how Ah always thought of it."
"...Well." Starlight Glimmer nodded. "That's something I agree with, at least..."
Twilight beamed.
"...So..." Applejack glanced around. "Did ya need anything else? Not to be rude, but Ah'm in the middle of checkin' mah trees for bark rot. Kind of want ta get that done afor' sunset."
"Oh! Right." Twilight chuckled. "Sorry for taking your time like that--"
"Not a prob, Twi. Anythin' fer a friend." With a friendly wave, Applejack returned to her duties.
"And that's AJ done," Spike commented. "Only one more to go." A starstruck smile grew on his face. "Saved the best for last..."
"Oh come in, darlings, please!" Rarity led the group into her botique, levitating various scraps of paper. "Do excuse the mess. The Canterlot Carousel has gotten quite popular, you see, so I have to handle quite a number of commissions and other logistics. Speaking of, Twilight darling, do you have any idea what a 'N-180 form' is? Apparently I haven't filed one, which means I'm being taxed on some fabrics I bring up from Ponyville--"
Spike cleared his throat. "Technically speaking, the N-180 form was phased out fifteen years ago, but the infrastructure still exists so some nobles will try to take advantage of new businesses by upping the price of 'low-class' imports. Just report that to the guard, you'll get your bits back."
"Ah, I see. Thank you." The white unicorn took one of the papers and placed it in a red bin. "Honestly, with what some of these ponies try to pull I'm sometimes amazed that Canterlot is still standing."
"You're telling me . You know, some ponies tried to take me to court when I was five for 'vandalizing private property' because I ate a few gems that Twilight gave me in public?"
Twilight rolled her eyes with a small grin. "That was a fiasco."
"Mmm, yes." Rarity let her eyes drift to Starlight Glimmer for a brief moment. "We seem to attract those, don't we?"
The smile left Twilight's face. "Rarity, please. She's trying to become a better pony."
"Oh, I'm not going to deny that. She did cast a spell on the cutie map, though." Rarity sighed. "I'm not a magical prodigy like you, darling, but if there's one thing I've learned it's that messing with magical artifacts can be dangerous. Still, you're right, the past is in the past." She turned to Starlight and gave her a gentle smile. "I'm terribly sorry if I offended you."
"No, you're right. I nearly doomed Equestria just because a childhood friend moved away." Starlight's head drooped. "That has to be the most petty reason for trying to doom the world I've ever heard."
"Not really," Spike commented. "Nightmare Moon tried to bring about eternal night out of jealousy, I'm pretty sure Discord did everything he did because he was just plain bored, Tirek and Sombra both wanted power for power's sake I think... oh, and Chrysalis claimed to be doing her invasion for the good of her people, but I kind of think she just wanted to throw her weight around or something." He shrugged. "Really, losing a friend is kind of the most sympathetic of the bunch."
Starlight stared at him, wide eyed. "You're kidding."
"No, I'm pretty serious."
Rarity cleared her throat. "Yes, well. Past exploits aside, might I ask why you've deigned to visit moi this fine morning?"
"Well," Twilight explained, "I decided to take Starlight around and ask you girls what you thought the definition of friendship is and how it should be applied. We've already talked to Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Applejack." She gave Rarity a broad, eager grin.
"I suppose I can induge you for a moment," Rarity replied, giving Twilight a small smile before turning back to Starlight. "Let me be frank: friendship is many things, depending on the pony. All ponies have a beautiful heart of their own, a unique identity which might shine brightly or be almost lost among the crowd. What matters is what you give and how you give it, be it material things like dresses or the immaterial like care." She flicked a hoof toward Spike. "Or legal advice, as the case may be."
Starlight Glimmer nodded, biting her lip. "I... well. I guess you have a point. I just--"
All of them jumped when a ringing noise started to reverberate through the room. Twilight and Rarity looked at their shimmering cutie marks; Spike winced and clutched his vibrating ear-spines.
"Uh..." Starlight held up her hoof. "What's going on?"
Twilight looked at her with an expression of utmost seriousness. "The Map is summoning us."
The doors to the map room burst wide, seven sets of hooves and one set of scaly feet pounding against the crystal floor. They all skidded to a stop in front of the table, eyes widening at the seven images spiraling above the scale replica of their homeland.
Pinkie Pie gasped. "OHMYGOSH! The map called us all ! It hasn't done that since it sent us to Starlight's village!" She blinked, turning to Starlight Glimmer. "I still haven't learned the name of that place by the way. You're going to have to tell me later."
"Let's not go off on tangents," Twilight insisted, looking at the detached images of their cutie marks and Spike's earspines hovering above the table. "We need to figure out where the map is sending us."
"And how are you going to do that?" Starlight asked.
"Well, the image will shrink down and hover over the location we need to go to spread friendship!"
The hovering symbols suddenly vanished in a flash of light.
"...or not," Twilight managed. "I... guess it was a false alarm?"
Applejack shook her head. "Ah dunno, Twi. Something about this seems off."
"Did somepony cast a spell on the map again? " Rainbow Dash demanded.
Starlight backed up. "I swear, I haven't been in this room since Twilight made me her student!"
"Let's not start pointing hooves," Fluttershy suggested. "I really don't want to have a fight--"
Rarity gasped. "Look, the map!"
Rings of white light were rising from the edge of the map, gathering above it and spinning in many different directions. With a sudden flash they coalesced into a translucent sphere, the outlines of stars and pentagrams rotating across the surface bound by great circles. One oriented itself to the ground, twisted, and widened; an impossible tunnel of pale green energy was visible for but a moment.
And then something fell out, landing on the Map with a loud CRUNCH.
The great sphere flashed out of existence, leaving the group to focus on the being that had appeared in their private sanctum. For a moment, it seemed as though it would not move, would remain standing in a still position for all eternity. And then the strange portent of doom snapped its head up, looked over them all, and giggled.
"HEYUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Previously, in Equestria....
"You're living here now, you know. You don't need to knock."
"My special is in alteration of magic. It's easy for me to see when a pony has their own magical field different from... normal..."
"Trust her? Twilight, she stole our cutie marks and nearly destroyed Equestria, like, seven times!"
"Well... I'm sure you know what you're doing. You're the princess of friendship after all."
"Ah'll give her a chance, Twi, but she's the one that has to decide what tah do with it."
"I'm not a magical prodigy like you, darling, but if there's one thing I've learned it's that messing with magical artifacts can be dangerous."
"OHMYGOSH! The map called us all!"
"HEYUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
And now, the continuation.
The seven ponies and one baby dragon stared, flabbergasted, at the creature that had just fallen onto the Map from a now-shut time portal. She looked like an ordinary purple-pink pony, albeit one with a crazy plumwhite swirly mane, an unusually large and wide grin, and a cutie mark that consisted of a screw and baseball. Her few accouterments, though unusual, weren't abnormal; the camera around her neck seemed pretty ordinary, a bag of multicolored marbles hung from its strap, and a simple beanie cap valiantly tried to hold the mane in.
The eyes, though, weren't like normal eyes; they were not a ring of color around a black pool but, rather, solid heliotrope spirals.
"I have GOT to say!" the creature declared, "that it is an honor! A pleasure! And a wonder to be here with you all today on this day! It's just amazingly incredibly fabulously astounding! The only thing that would make this even better is if I had a clue who any of you were."
"Oh!" Twilight blinked. "Um. I'm Twilight Sparkle, and these are my friends, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Spike, and Starlight Glimmer." She gave the creature an encouraging grin. "And... who might you be?"
"I?" The marething reared onto her rear hooves, camera bouncing against her chest. "I... have many names! Names of great power, renown, and sheer raw invokiness! But I've forgotten most of them, so you can just call me Screwball." She hopped off the Map and, quick as a wink, was laying a friendly fetlock around Twilight's shoulders. "Can't help but notice you're double-dipping. Horns and wings, huh? Not common where I come from, who do I have to bribe for that deal?"
"Well, I became an alicorn after I created a new kind of magic--"
"Oh, so it's achievement based. Gotcha!" Screwball leapt back, rebounding off a wall and skidding to a stop in front of Twilight's throne which she promptly swung herself into. "Nice place you got here. And a very nice table!" She put her hooves on the Map, peering over the geography. "Does this update in real time?"
"We haven't quite tested that," Twilight admitted. "I'm sorry, but you just... came from a time portal?"
"Really? I'd have called it a reality bubble." Screwball giggled. "Time and space, past and future, outside and inside--it's all relative, you know. Or maybe you don't. I didn't, but now I do!"
"It's just that, recently speaking, I saw a portal like that," Twilight explained. "A time spell changed history multiple times before it was... stopped." She glanced at Starlight, who sagged a little. "The last I ever saw of the spell was it falling into one of the time portals, and I thought that would be the end of it."
The marething looked up at her.... and burst out into crazed, wild laughter. "HOOOOhwohooowowhowhooohohoshohohohooo! You thought it would be that easy?! Really?!"
Screwball vaulted out of the throne, her beanie propeller spinning as she hovered around the throne room. "Reality isn't so cut-clean crisp, Sparks! A river diverted will fill a pond, and even when the river goes back to its usual flow the ponds will keep a-leakin' till they make new baby rivers! Those alternate timelines may not have existed before, but they certainly do now!" She floated upside down in front of the pony. "Ayyyyyyyyye should know, I'm from one of them!"
Starlight Glimmer's eyes widened.
"Well, if you are from one of those alternate timelines," Spike asked, "what are you doing here?"
Screwball landed, her hoof over her chest. "I have come," she intoned gravely, "as the most foul and hideous creature ever to travel. I have come," she added, shutting her eyes, "to perform horrendous acts within this reality. I have come," she growled as shadows gathered around her, "in order to begin something so shocking and terrible that history will mark this day as the day all things went wrong...
"...I have come..."
She grabbed her camera and reared up, her grin managing to somehow widen even further.
"...as a tourist!"
She snapped a picture of the group's utterly stunned faces. And then she spun the camera around and stood in front of the Cutie Map, waving brightly as it flashed again.
Twilight stared at her as she started giggling. "...Girls, huddle."
Instantly every pony but Starlight was in a circle.
"Okay." Twilight took a breath. "We're dealing with a pony from another reality, another Equestria. Thoughts?"
"Well, despite her unusual choice of headwear, she certainly seems very... cheery," Rarity mused. "If a little off the wall. Maybe she just treats reality in an unusual way?"
Pinkie Pie shook her head. "The smile is real, but it's... empty. It's not forced, but there's nothing fueling it. Icing without cake. She's happy, but not for any reason I can tell, just... poof, smiles."
"Isn't that a good thing, though?" Fluttershy asked. "I mean, some ponies are just naturally good tempered, right? She's a little dramatic, but I don't think she's trying to cause problems.
"Ah dunno. The way she switched from casual ta laughin' ta creepy..." Applejack shook her head. "Ah'm with Pinkie on this one. That filly has somethin' rotten in her noggin."
"And besides, Twilight told us all about the other timelines she went through," Rainbow Dash pointed out. "Do you really think anypony living in one of those dumps could come out being so happy?"
"Well it's all a matter of perspective," Screwball explained.
"GAH!" The ponies all jumped back when they realized she'd somehow pushed herself into the huddle.
"And by the way, it's rude to talk about somepony like they're not there!" she added. "I'll forgive you though, since I know I'm just so very FASCINATING to think about!" She giggled, hovering into the air and swatting at the crystals hanging from the tree roots with small meowing noises.
Twilight shook her head, before turning back to the others. "We still need to figure out what we're going to do about this."
"Can I say something?"
All eyes turned to Starlight Glimmer as she stepped cautiously forward. After a moment, Twilight gave her an encouraging nod.
"The other timelines... they're my fault. Whatever happened to Screwball, whatever made her the way she is, it's because of what I did with that spell. I... don't think I can change that, if what she said about how time works is right. But..." Starlight straightened up, schooling her expression into something resembling determination. "If I can help her, if I can do anything to fix the damage I've done... I want to try."
Twilight looked from Starlight's face, around at her friend's expressions, up at Screwball snapping pictures of her own tongue, and back to Starlight. "...That is actually... a very good idea."
Rainbow's jaw dropped. "What?! "
"I don't think you'll be able to do it all on your own," the princess continued, "given the level of mania that Screwball is displaying. But I know that one thing everypony needs, no matter what they're suffering from, is a friend. You can be that friend, Starlight, and we'll all help. Right girls?"
"Oh certainly," Fluttershy agreed readily.
"Of course we'll help!" Pinkie chimed in.
"Ya got it, sugarcube," Applejack added.
"I shall strive to do my best," Rarity vowed.
"...yeah," Rainbow groused, "I'll help out too."
A gentle smile grew on Starlight's face. "Thank you. Thank you for giving me this chance, I promise you won't regret it!"
"OOOOOO promises!" Screwball cried as she popped up from behind Starlight. "I love promises! What kind of promises are we tikity takity talking here?"
Starlight turned her smile to her. "Miss Screwball, how would you like me to be your friend?"
"Firstly, it's Mrs . Screwball, thankyouverymunchies. But more importantly, I WOULD BE INCREDIBLY HAPPY! To accept your hoof in friendshiperry!" The purple marething wrapped herself around Starlight, snapping a picture of them together. "OOO I have an idea! You can show me around town or village or city or whatever the place you put all the buildings is called!"
"A tour of Ponyville? Well, I'm new in town," the unicorn admitted, "but I think I can do that."
The sun shone brightly down on the colorful group as they trotted out of the palace, Screwball letting out appreciative ooos and aaahs and snapping pictures of random things. "The things! The people! The places! There's so much of it all!"
"Ponyville is a very friendly and well-developed place," Starlight agreed, leading her down the road. "I've only been here a short time, and already I feel as though... as though this is a place I could call home."
"Awwww, that's so saccharine!" Screwball cooed. "I remember saccharine. Good times. Gooood times. Is that still Canterlot up there?" she asked, pointing at the distant spires hanging off a mountain."
"...yes. Yes it is."
"It's still here in this world. WOW." Screwball snapped a picture. "Lotta bright shapes, bright minds, and bright jewels, all dazzling each other until they're blind. WHEEEEEEEEEE!"
Starlight quirked an eyebrow. "That's... one description I've never heard of before."
"You'll find that I'm an endless barrel of unheard-of descriptions. And also random subject changes. Are there chainsaws anywhere in Ponyville?"
The unicorn shook her head. "I... think maybe? You might have to look into the local construction crew's warehouses--why do you want to know if there are chainsaws here?"
"There are zombies where I come from."
"...I never saw any zombies," Twilight Sparkle protested. "And I went through every new timeline!"
Screwball twisted her neck impossibly to look at her. "Did you explore every new timeline?"
"...well, no," Twilight admitted. "After the first three, I just took a glance around and cast the return spell."
"Well there you go then! All the zombies were in places you didn't look." Screwball looked forward again and gasped, galloping over to a stall selling carrots. "OAH MAW GAaAaAaAaAaAaAWSH! You have a functional economy! "
The stall pony glanced from the marething to Twilight and her friends; Starlight shrugged with an apologetic smile, quickly trotting up to her. "I know, it's quite impressive, especially in a country as big as Equestria."
"You know, I actually do have a few coins back home. I like to watch them glitter, that's all they're useful for now. Usually I just take what I want from wherever. Oh, whatever, the past is not the current, after all!" Screwball grabbed two of the carrots, stuck them on her teeth, and started hovering again. "AI AHM A VAHPAR!"
The mare behind the stall gave her a flat look. "Are you going to pay for those?"
"A-heh heh..." Starlight quickly tossed a few bits on the wood, lightly pushing Screwball along. "Maybe we should continue on to the town hall! It's pretty impressive."
"Asking for chainsaws and stealing in plain sight?" Rainbow Dash commented dryly. "Yeah, that's not a suspicious at all . Anybody else think that Screwball's up to something?"
Rarity rose an eyebrow as the group followed after the duo. "A little... inexperience with normal society is to be expected, if what Twilight said about the other timelines is true."
"She did say she was from a world with zombies and no economy," Fluttershy reminded Dash. "Oh, the poor dear must be filled with so much fear and sadness..."
"VEEEEEE!" Screwball hovered upside down, snapping photos of the town hall as she spun around in the air.
"You seem to be having fun," Starlight commented with a small grin.
"I remember this building! It was one of my favorites before things happened! I did so many things here, with so many papers..." She gave Starlight a huge grin. "There was this one time I brought my husband here too. BOY did we get in trouble for that ."
The unicorn flushed even pinker than usual. "Really?"
"Misfiling tax forms! Serious business." Screwball sighed, flipping over and landing. "And then later I blew it up with a wafflecone and a tuba. Ah, memories. Never can tell which ones are real. Have you ever helped run a town?"
Starlight cleared her throat. "Well... I was a sort of leader for a little hamlet, once. It... didn't end well."
"Reeeeeally?"
"I may have gone a little mad with power."
Screwball nodded. "Makes total sense. Certainly more practical than going mad without power. It's fun at first, but once you realize you can't send the hallucinations out for groceries it kind of becomes an annoyance."
"I'm... sure it is?"
"Which is a big part of the reason I'm happy Master found me!"
"Master?" Starlight tilted her head.
"Uh huh!" Screwball giggled, spiraling around. "He gets me all sorts of things like houses and marbles and cameras and all I have to do is everything he tells me to do!"
"That's... okay, that sounds like a dangerous relationship."
"Oh, it really is. But he's wealthy! I mean, this camera is a Gyrate-brand extendolens with colorific and adjustable focus! Do you know how expensive it is?! Do you really think I paid for it on my own?"
Starlight held up a hoof. "I thought you said your world didn't have a functioning economy anymore?"
"Which means things this complex don't come cheap! I have NO IDEA how this thing even works! I couldn't put it together if I tried! But Master, well, he's got the knowhow and the whoknow to craft these things." Screwball flicked her eyes left and right. "Still, he's not all that predictable, exactly."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I mean he's the guy who made the zombies in the first place. But hey, it's a living." She giggled. "And being a minion has its perks! I'm here now, on a working vacation! Pretty swanky. Also I get a lot of cool toys."
Pinkie's ears perked. "Cool toys? I wonder what she means by that. Does she mean cool like they look cool or they do cool things or does she mean they're made of ice?"
"Well, given how crazy she's acting," Spike mused, "I'd say her master is Discord. And since we're talking about, you know, the alternate reality evil Discord, he'd do a lot of weird stuff."
"Ah dunno," Applejack grumbled. "Somethin' about the way Screwball's tellin' things... Maybe it's just me, but Ah'm feelin' like she's not tellin' us everything. Just enough to keep us on the wrong path."
"Ommynommynommynoms!" Screwball leaned back, picking up her plate. "That was a great baked good."
"It was a scone."
"ANOTHER!" The pink marething shattered her plate against her head.
Starlight sighed, giving the waiter an apologetic look. "Screwball... just because we have more things here doesn't mean you can just go smashing them. It's considered wasteful and rude."
"You know what? You're absolutely right. I should not have smashed that plate, I could have used it as a snowboard."
The unicorn shook her head and chuckled. "I actually knew a pony who did that once. Apparently it was how he earned his... cutie mark." She sagged in her seat. "Sorry, I... I've made so many mistakes, Screwball. And I just want to stop doing that. To be, you know, a good pony. But I don't want you to think I see you as some sort of redemption quest, because I... I don't see you as just that. I see you as a very, very interesting pony who... who I really want to befriend, want to trust and... help, you know?"
Screwball stared at her. For a moment, her smile seemed to shrink.
"Wow. This is actually going to be really horrible then."
Starlight blinked in confusion. "What is?"
She took the bag off her camera strap and poured the marbles onto the table, keeping them from rolling off. "You know what these are?"
The unicorn frowned, looking at them and then up at Screwball. "I can feel some sort of magic in them... it's strangely familiar."
"Well, you were the one that cast the original spell," the marething allowed. "Master tweaked it though, attached the result parameters to a functional quantum alteration thaumic bridge. Then he copied each of those, and tied them to these."
Starlight's eyes widened. "These... these are portals to the other timelines!"
"Mmmhmm. Smash one, and the bubble floats." Screwball swept most of them back into the bag, leaving only one orange sphere. "My master gave me orders, and I have to follow them."
Starlight looked from the marble to the marething. "Screwball... please. Whatever your master told you to do. You don't have to do it. You can find redemption here. We want to help--I want to help you! I don't care what you did!"
For some reason that got Screwball giggling. "You think... you think I care what you think of me? Girl, I've got news for you. I don't care about anything in this world." She picked up the marble and grinned. "Although you were nice enough that I'll give you the warning to run."
"No wait --!"
Screwball spun and threw the glass sphere into the road. It exploded into glass shards and white light, which blew into a massive sphere covered in the same stars and sigils Starlight Glimmer had seen on her own spell. And then, with a sudden flash, it was gone, replaced by an imposingly large figure with four thick black hooves, two meaty red arms, and glowing yellow eyes of rage.
"WHAT HAS BROUGHT ME TO THIS PATHETIC TOWN?!"
"Whoa-oh." Pinkie Pie got up quickly. "That's not good."
"Spike, Princesses! Girls, diversion! Don't let him drain your magic!"
At Twilight's command, the six of them charged toward the massive beast, rushing to keep his attention as ponies all around rushed off.
"Ima gonna go do a thing," Screwball said suddenly. "Wanna come with?"
The unicorn stared at her, wide-eyed. "You just unleashed a fully powered up Tirek on an unsuspecting world!"
"That is indeed an event which has occurred." Screwball rolled her eyes. "Look, Glimglim, if you're really that worried you can stay behind and help the doubledipper do what she's doing. Won't hold it against you. But it's her or me."
Starlight Glimmer looked from the battle, to Screwball's smiling face.
"I..." She bit her lip. "This is the right thing, Screwball. I'm sorry."
She turned and rushed toward the centaur. The marething watched her go, shrugged, and flew away.
"RAAAAAAH!" Tirek's magic lanced out, almost hitting Applejack as she darted around his massive hooves. Starlight Glimmer managed to reach out her magic just in time to transform the beam into harmless glitter, panting as she galloped up.
"What--?"
"Magical alteration. Cutie mark." She gasped, shaking the glitter off her mane. "That was... really high power though! I can keep doing that... just not forever."
The earth pony glanced up as Rainbow buzzed Tirek's horns. "Huh. Good to know. If he starts draining magic, could ya change that?"
"I don't know, if it's a spell I could, but if it isn't my best bet would be to change the drained magic into something volatile on the fly--" Starlight jumped and pushed Applejack out of range of a descending hoof. "And there's that to think about too!"
"Well, just do what ya can!" Applejack yelled, standing and galloping back towards Tirek.
The unicorn reached out with her magic, turning a great blue bolt lancing toward Rainbow Dash into a stream of flowers. "Can't you six just do whatever you did to stop him the first time?!"
"We haven't figured out how ta trigger that at will just yet!"
"What?! I thought it was just harmony magic that you did every time you saved the world or something!"
Applejack managed to somehow shrug while dodging another magical lance. "Don't ask me how it worked, Ah ain't no magical prodigy!"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAooof." Twilight collapsed on the ground next to them and groaned. "Uuuungh."
Starlight's eyes fell on her blank flank and widened. "Oh no."
"Twilight!" Applejack galloped forward---and was caught in Tirek's draining magic, falling as her own eyes faded.
Starlight's eyes darted around as, one by one, the centaur took the magic from each of her new friends. It happened so quickly that she couldn't even comprehend how he was doing it. At last she was the only pony standing, and Tirek turned his gaze upon her.
"I... don't suppose you'd like to hear about the power of equality?" she offered weakly.
"No, I don't believe I would."
"Figures." The unicorn took a breath and steadied herself, glaring up at him. "Do your worst."
"You would give yourself up so quickly?"
"Well, I don't think there's any miracle coming."
"HEYUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Tirek whirled, glaring at the hovering purple marething who waved at him with a grin. A beam of magic launched from the fiery globe between his horns.
Screwball sidled sideways, narrowly dodging the beam with a giggle. "Oh dearie me! What a naughty little boy we've got here. I suppose I have to punish you, since your mother isn't around to do it."
"I HAVE CRUSHED THE GREATEST DEFENDERS OF THIS REALM!" bellowed the centaur, gesturing to the weakened element bearers. "HOW WILL YOU DEFEAT ME, WHEN NOT EVEN TOGETHER THEY COULD NOT?!"
"There's a difference between them and me. You see...."
Screwball flipped back, revealing the two chainsaws duct taped to her rear hooves.
"I went shoe shopping! "
"What," said Starlight Glimmer.
"What, " said Twilight Sparkle.
"What," said Tirek.
Screwball revved up the chainsaws and dove straight at him, whooping with glee as she dodged the multicolored blasts whizzing at her. A massive red hand rose to swat her out of the air, but she swung underneath and twirled up till at last she was face to face with the great monster. And with a wink, she grabbed his eyebrows in her forhooves and swung her rear legs up in a split, grinning as the chainsaws made contact with the massive black horns.
Tirek's great cry of pain echoed as the two ebony spires detached from his head and clattered to the ground. He reached up and tore Screwball off his face, fury in his eyes as he fixed them on her innocent smile. "HOW DARE YOU DEFACE MY GLORIOUS IMAGE?!"
"Actually, the question you should be asking is 'what happens to a high-energy magical system when the primary guidance stabilizers are removed?'"
The centaur blinked. His gaze drifted upward to the sphere above his head; already it was cackling with lightning, great multicolored cracks causing flares and flickers all across its surface.
He returned his eyes to Screwball. "You are a foul and loathsome abomination."
She smiled sweetly at him. "Flattery will get you nowhere, honeyknuckles, but thanks for trying."
A bolt lanced from the sphere and lashed into Tirek's skull. His hands unclenched and dropped his captive as a great shout of pain echoed through the land, streams of magic spreading through his skin and gleaming in a cracking pattern. For the briefest of moments his eyes shone with multicolored light as Screwball grabbed the fallen horns and sprinted a short distance away. Then, with a great boom, his form was enveloped in a column of sheer magical energy that spiraled up and out into the atmosphere.
Screwball leaned back and clapped gleefully. "OOOOOOOO! Pretty colors!"
Just as suddenly as it had started, the great magical eruption ceased, with no trace of the centaur left but the very horns Screwball held. She giggled, pushing them up like posts.
"You just..." Starlight turned to her, eyes wide even as the magic flowed back into her body. "You just chainsawed off Tirek's horns to blow him up!"
"Uh, yeah? I do things like that."
"You're a maniac!" Starlight cried.
"You just noticed!" Screwball replied in exactly the same tone.
The unicorn backed away, shaking her head. "Screwball... why? Why did you do this? Why'd you bring Tirek, why--why all this? You could have hurt ponies!"
"Could have? You mean nopony actually got hurt?" The marething tapped her chin. "Wow. Master will want to hear about that!"
Twilight Sparkle groaned, standing and shaking her head. "Ooooh. Mrs, Screwball, after what you just did... I think I would be remiss if I did not take you into custody."
Starlight's eyes darted between princess and marething. "What? But I thought I was supposed to befriend her..."
Twilight sighed. "You were. But that was back when she wasn't a threat to Equestria. If she's able to bring in forces from the other timelines, I'm afraid I have a duty to keep her contained."
Screwball giggled. "Oh, I'd love to stay at your palace, princess, but I'm afraid I have other obligations. Still, it was lovely meeting you!" She revealed a grey marble from behind her back and blew them a kiss.
Starlight held out a hoof. "Wait--!"
The marething smashed the marble into the ground and grabbed Tirek's horns, dragging them with her into the resulting portal with crazed laughter.
The unicorn's hoof lowered. "I... this... I shouldn't... this is my fault. I shouldn't have trusted her. I..."
"No." Twilight gave her a firm look. "This isn't your fault. Ponies make mistakes sometimes. You wanted to help her, and she took advantage of that."
"I just... wanted to be a better pony."
"Well... you can learn from this." Twilight smiled. "In fact, why don't you tell me what it is you did learn from this?"
Starlight rolled her eyes. "...I'm a horrible judge of character?"
"No. Positives, Starlight!"
"I... can transform Tirek's magic?"
"Positives that have to do with friendship."
"Uh... that... I... I don't know."
"You stood up for what you thought was right," Twilight offered. "Even when me and the girls were suspicious of Screwball, you tried to help her out. You didn't give up even when things got hard. And after she tried to force you to decide between her and what was right... you chose the right thing." She patted Starlight on the shoulder. "I think you're off to a good start with that."
"...yeah. I guess..." Starlight hesitantly smiled. "I guess I am."
"Aaaaand done!" Twilight's horn stopped glowing, and she stared at the Map with a ragged grin. "That... that should work!"
Spike nodded and smiled, standing by with a handkerchief. “Yep, you definitely did a thing there.” Twilight nodded, and for a few seconds the two just stood there, Twilight panting and Spike waiting for her to say something. “So, what does it do?”
Twilight smiled and took the handkerchief, wiping off the sweat from her brow. “Well, remember how Screwball managed to get in here using a portal?”
“Yeah. I’m still trying to figure out where the whale came from, by the way.”
“Good for you. But anyway, this is a thaum-field oscillation spell that I’ve adapted to redirect any quantum-based intrusions outside the palace before their manifestation is allowed to completely form!”
Spike stood on his tip-toes so he could examine the map. “Did you remember Clover’s Revolving Paradigm this time? The mayor keeps sending us letters about the thing in the records department.”
“Obviously.”
"Well, I guess that covers it. No more portals. I'm sure Starlight will be happy to hear that." Spike took the handkerchief back and checked to see if the thrones needed dusting. "You know, she’s been pretty down since that whole stunt Screwball pulled with Tirek."
“Where is Starlight, anyway?” Twilight looked around the room, as if expecting her student to be lurking in some isolated corner. “I didn’t see her at breakfast.”
Spike opened his mouth to tell her where Starlight was, but shut it again when he realized he didn’t know. “Huh. That’s kinda weird. I mean, I definitely woke her up, but I don’t think I’ve seen her today. Like, at all.”
Twilight made a sound halfway between a chuckle and a sigh. “She probably just got lost in the castle again...” A sudden sparkle sprang into her eyes. “I have an idea!”
Her horn began to glow, its aura encircling the map and settling over every peak and valley of the miniature Equestria. The map began to spin, picking up speed until its features seemed to blur into a single uniform disk. Twilight’s purple aura darted and sparked, sketching rough lines into the pristine crystal. When the map finally came spinning to a stop, the image of Equestria had been replaced with circles upon circles. With a flick of Twilight’s enchantments, the circles rose up into the air, with lines of light spreading out from each and connecting them together.
Spike stared, not sure whether to applaud or gasp in horror. “Twilight. What did you do to the map?” he asked quietly.
“What? All I did was temporarily set the scanning matrix to show us the castle’s interior.” Twilight ran a hoof over part of the map. “Frankly, I think it’ll appreciate having a bit of a break from monitoring the entire kingdom.”
“Twilight, it’s just a map, it doesn’t...” Spike stopped talking as the map hummed, almost sounding like a purr as Twilight petted it. “So, um, you mentioned using this to find Starlight?”
“Oh, right. Well, assuming I’ve done this right, I just have to input Starlight’s basic mana structure and...” Starlight’s cutie mark appeared in one of the circles. “There she is! Right in... her bedroom.”
The two of them looked at each other, then at the map, and then back at each other. Spike was the first to speak.
“Okay, so she spent the whole day in her room.” He sighed. “This is not going to be good, is it?”
“Probably not,” Twilight agreed as they started towards Starlight’s room. “I just hope it’s not too bad.”
"Starlight?" Twilight knocked hesitantly on the bedroom door. "Are you okay in there?"
She and Spike stood in the hallway, anxiously awaiting some kind of reply. They waited for her to start cursing, or for something to clatter against the door as it was thrown, or even for screams of distress, but they heard nothing.
After a few seconds, Spike awkwardly cleared his throat. He beckoned Twilight away from the door, until they were both huddled against the opposite wall. She leaned down until her head was level with his mouth, and he began to whisper.
“Do dead ponies show up on the map?”
Twilight went pale with shock. “I don’t know. But surely there’d be some kind of alert if she was attacked?”
“Twilight, we don’t even know how to get the doors to lock in this place yet. How would we know if there was a security system?”
“Fair point.” Twilight turned to look at Starlight’s door again, chewing her lip nervously. “What should we do?”
“Well, we’ve got three options. I can go get a therapist, I can go get a mortician, or I can go make a couple of mugs of cocoa.”
“And what would I be doing?”
Spike looked at Twilight as though she had grown another pair of wings. “You’ll be going in there to find out which is the right option. And then probably yell at me when I show up with the wrong pony.”
Twilight glared at her assistant for a few seconds, and seemed to be tensing for an argument. Then she looked at the closed door, and sighed. “You’re right. I guess we’ll start with the cocoa plan.”
“My favorite plan,” Spike agreed, already turning on his heels to leave Twilight to her business. Twilight took a deep breath, and knocked again. When there was no answer, she turned the knob and stepped into Starlight’s room.
Starlight hadn’t gone in for any lavish furnishings when she picked her room. It only held a simple bed, a nightstand and one or two empty wardrobes, despite having enough space that it could easily be a room in a museum. The windows in particular were enormous, and if thrown open would probably be able to fit four pegasi stacked on top of each other.
There was a bedsheet tucked into the window at one corner, as though Starlight had tried to make curtains without a rod. More than half of the window was still letting sunlight through, but it cast a long shadow on the bed.
Of all of the things that Twilight could have found on the bed of a silent mare, perhaps the least distressing one was Starlight, unharmed and breathing normally but curled up like a bored cat. Twilight was torn between relief and confusion, and she approached the bed cautiously.
“Starlight? Are you okay?”
Starlight unfolded a little, staring at Twilight as though she were an interesting bug crawling along the floor. “I’m fine.”
“We missed you at breakfast.” Twilight put a hoof up on the bed, trying to get Starlight to look her in the eye. “And lunch. And basically the entire day. What’s going on, Starlight?”
Starlight sighed and rolled over, turning her back to Twilight. “I ran into the Cake twins the other day.” She must have felt Twilight’s concern somehow, as she quickly amended that statement. “Not literally. I was just wandering around town, and we struck up a conversation.”
“And how did that go?”
“Pretty good.” Starlight’s voice took on a nostalgic, mellow tone. “They’re making good progress on learning how to speak. Little Pound Cake actually said ‘Hello, Starlight!’ to me and everything.”
“Did he really?” Twilight asked, as invested as she could be while still being deeply worried.
“Well,” Starlight chuckled hollowly, “it came out more like ‘Hewwo, Staw-wight!’, but it was still pretty impressive. And adorable.”
Twilight nodded, both front hooves now firmly on the bed. “So, why has this got you feeling... down?”
Starlight tossed and turned until she was facing Twilight. “Because I started thinking, and realized something. Those twins should be dead.”
Twilight stared into her student’s eyes, torn between fear and curiosity. “I’m afraid I don’t quite follow.”
“One week ago, a crazy centaur packed full of literally all of the magic in the world showed up in the middle of town. One wayward blast, and Sugarcube Corner would have been a smouldering pile of glass and gingerbread. A few months ago, a slightly less powerful version of the same monster had a battle against four alicorns in the same body, and quite a few earth-shattering spells missed their mark and wound up dangerously close to the defenseless civilians. An infestation of plunder vines with no limiters on how much force they exert on their prey. An empire of traps designed by a devious mind with no capacity for mercy. Undetectable infiltrators at every level of society during one of the most heavily secured events in recent history. The literal embodiment of chaos, and an attempt to completely shatter Equestria’s ecosystem.”
“It’s a fascinating theory,” Twilight said, crawling up onto the bed. Perhaps things weren’t as bad as they appeared; she could remember many a time that she had lain in bed well into the middle of the day, simply because she had stumbled upon an interesting idea and didn’t want to do anything that could distract her. True, Starlight didn’t seem to be toying with the most pleasant of notions, but science was very rarely all sunshine and rainbows. “I’m pretty sure most ponies wouldn’t even think of how unlikely their own existence is.”
“Most ponies haven’t lived and breathed proof.” For a moment, Starlight’s horn sparked with magic, but she let the spell go before Twilight could tell what she was doing. “Of course, we’ve all imagined what life would be like if we had never been born, but we never ask how different the world would have to be just to stop us from being born.”
Twilight leaned in, now fascinated by the slightly macabre concept. “Please, go on.”
“Name a pony. Not anypony special, just someone that you’d probably notice if they went missing.”
After a few seconds of thought, Twilight decided on Davenport.
“That’s the quill and sofa salespony, right?” After a nod from Twilight, Starlight nodded back. “That’s a perfect example. At first glance, you wouldn’t think that a world without Davenport would be all that different from our own. You’d probably just buy quills from the department store, or get them on special order from Canterlot. But what would have to happen in order for Davenport not to exist, or even not live in Ponyville? He might have discovered his cutie mark while travelling abroad. He might have moved to another town, or even never have visited Ponyville. Maybe he died young, or his parents didn’t fall in love in the first place. But even that is far too simple.”
Twilight nodded in silent encouragement, wanting her student to demonstrate her new thought process in full.
“There are no effects without causes. None of these changes could happen on their own. But what would have to change in order for his parents to not come together? It could be anything from a distracting noise to a dramatic shift in the political climate. What sort of situation could a quill and sofa salespony possibly die in, and for what reasons? What effects would that have on the way his town worked? And how would that changed town affect the rest of Equestria? In almost every case, a world without Davenport is a very different world from the one that we know.”
Twilight couldn’t help but clap her hooves together in awe as Starlight finished. “That’s amazing, Starlight. This theory of yours is spectacular.”
Starlight seemed to stiffen, and her eyes narrowed as she turned to Twilight. “My... theory ?”
“Yes, your theory! What, you think I’ll try and take credit for it?” Twilight patted Starlight on the back with her wing, and teleported a notepad into the room. With a flick of her magic, a quill began feverishly scratching its way across the page. Within seconds, a cloud of smoke was rising from her notepad from how fast she was writing. “Oh, just imagine the implications this’ll have! It works on so many levels, even the social sciences will have a field day with this one! But what are you going to call it, that’s the real question!”
“What am I going... to call it?” Starlight’s teeth were bared and her hooves were trembling, but Twilight was too caught up in her hypotheticals to notice.
“Well, yeah! Every big theory needs a name! Ooh, how about ‘Glimmer’s Cascade’? Or maybe the ‘Starlight Ripple Effect’? Or you could go the more clinical route and call it Starlight Glimmer’s Theory of Mutable Destiny, or something like...” A small spike in the room’s background magic made Twilight look up.
“This isn’t a theory, Twilight.” Starlight’s horn was crackling with energy, and tears were beginning to bead in the corners of her eyes. “This is a provable part of how the universe works, and the last thing I want to do is plaster my name over it for all of eternity.”
“Wait, this is provable? Since when?”
Starlight’s horn sparked and sputtered until it completely stopped glowing. “Seriously? Have you actually saved the world so many times that it’s just the sort of thing you forget about after a few weeks?”
The lights started to flicker on inside of Twilight’s brain. “Oh. This is linked to the alternate timelines, isn’t it?”
“No, it’s linked to the Lost Idol of Boreas. Of course it’s linked to the alternate timelines! What else would you call everything that happened, if not a series of radically different worlds that all resulted from one seemingly inconsequential change?”
“Well, one might call it evidence that the Elements of Harmony are very important to the continued survival of Equestria.”
Starlight snorted in derision. “Ego aside, that’s hardly mutually exclusive. If we stop one filly from reaching a certain speed at a certain time, world-saving superweapons fail to activate, and any one of a million nightmare scenarios unfolds. Equestria tears itself apart in a war against Sombra, or the Everfree Forest is allowed to consume half the kingdom in order to hide survivors of the changeling invasion. Eternal darkness, eternal fire, eternal cherry pie, or just... nothingness, stretching on forever. If Rainbow Dash doesn’t perform a sonic rainboom, then Equestria falls.”
“We don’t have any proof that those other timelines are doomed,” Twilight protested. “The war against Sombra was still going strong when I saw it. Nightmare Moon seemed to have a working government in place. I mean, I didn’t really get the chance to look at an overview of each world’s politics, but most of them looked like they had a pretty good chance of surviving.”
“Really?” The room began to vibrate ever so slightly as Starlight’s horn shone brighter. “A good chance of surviving? Tell me, what was the last you saw of Zecora in that one universe where she was the last beacon of hope for free-willed ponies?”
Twilight opened her mouth to give an answer full of hope and the sincere belief that Zecora had survived, but accurate memory got in the way.
“I don’t remember it that clearly,” she admitted. “It was a bit of a confusing day for me. When Chrysalis attacked, I ran. I didn’t dare to look back, because I was afraid that whatever I saw would make me too terrified to keep running. But I could hear, and I could smell. I could hear Zecora being thrown to the ground, and I could hear Chrysalis laughing. I felt her charging a spell, and I felt her fire it. I smelled...” She coughed into her hoof, trying to keep her stomach under control. “I smelled burning meat. I don’t remember if I heard any screaming.”
“Realistically, what are the chances that she made it out of that? Would you expect a zebra to be able to take a blast from the queen of the changelings, after she’s probably been feasting on half of the kingdom?”
“Zecora isn’t like other zebras. She might have made it out...”
“Even if she survived the blast, there wouldn’t be anywhere for her to run. That entire hidden village would be ash within hours. And in the extremely unlikely event that Zecora made it out alive and unharmed, that village was the last bastion. That version of Equestria was as good as dead when you left it. So many of them were on their last legs. And that’s not even taking the last world into account.” Starlight lit up her horn again, and Twilight heard something rattle behind her.
“The last world...” Twilight turned around, and noticed that Starlight’s turquoise aura was wrapped around one of the drawers in the nightstand. It was rattling slightly in her grasp, but she didn’t seem to care about opening it. “Starlight, what have you got in there?”
“Call it a souvenir, call it leftovers, call it an incomplete funeral. Whichever one you think suits it.” Starlight’s magic disappeared from the drawer, and she flopped down on the bed. “How many ponies are alive right now in Equestria, because of you? How many ponies have been born, or found their destinies because of Twilight Sparkle and the Elements of Harmony? How many ponies had their lives changed by the sonic rainboom, that wouldn’t be where they are today if that ring of color hadn’t passed over them all? How many deaths are on my shoulders?”
“There might not be any,” Twilight felt the need to remind her. “Your spell was breaking every law of time and space already. The timelines most likely collapsed into non-existence every time we did something different.”
“That’s not what Screwball said.”
“We have no idea if Screwball was telling the truth,” Twilight pointed out. “With how inconsistent she sounded, she could just be a prank from Discord, conjured out of our memories and fears. Or just an incredibly powerful conjuror. We have no way to prove that you’re guilty of all of that.”
“And if there isn’t any proof in that drawer, I’ll believe you.”
Twilight reached out for the drawer, pulling it open with a flick of her magic. The bottom of the drawer was mostly just a few odds and ends, the sort of things that she might have thought were Starlight’s few worldly possessions if she didn’t know that Starlight hadn’t owned a spare scrap of clothing since she fled the village. There were a few books, a balled-up cashmere scarf and a small vial of grey dust. “What’s in the vial, Starlight?”
Starlight let out a short, sudden burst of laughter. “You can still do scanning spells, right? So you tell me.”
After a moment of hesitation, Twilight nodded and cast her spell. There was a lurching moment of nausea, and then she watched every molecule spread out as an ethereal map in her vision. Subconscious labels attached themselves to every different cellular form, and within seconds she knew exactly what the dust was.
She wondered where the nearest bucket was, and if she could accurately grab it with a teleport.
“How did you get this?” she whispered in barely restrained disgust and horror. She turned back around to look at Starlight, who was staring at the vial with a far-away look in her eyes.
“When we got back from... that place, we had this dust in our coats. It was built up in our hooves, but most of that got left outside Sunburst’s house. I’m betting you had a shower when you got home, right?” Twilight nodded automatically. “I was too busy looking around my new room. I ended up trailing this stuff all over the place. I didn’t even notice it until after we had dealt with Screwball, and when I found out what it was, I didn’t know what to do about it. Should I burn it? Bury it? Or should it be carried with me, as a promise to myself that I won’t do something like that again?”
Starlight shoved the vial back into the drawer so fast that Twilight almost expected to hear it shatter. “And then there’s the thought that somewhere out there, right now, the pony who’s dead in that vial could be alive and well. What do you even say to somepony like that? ‘Hi there, I’m Starlight Glimmer, and I’m the reason why there’s a universe out there where you were ground into paste and left out to dry’? Would I even be able to look at other ponies like ponies anymore?”
Twilight felt something rising up in her throat, and swallowed it back down before she could think too hard about it. “So, how does this prove that those timelines are still out there?”
Starlight sighed, and her magic reached into the drawer again. “You know, Twilight, for somepony who’s really smart, you’re kind of stupid.” A storybook floated into view, and Starlight began to flip through the pages. Every two or three pages, a stunningly intricate woodcut depicted a scene from the book. “This is a story about a proud young foal who wants nothing more than to be a knight. He spends his entire life striving towards that unreachable goal, even going so far as to refuse the aid of his friends out of pride. Moments before the final battle, his hard work and unwavering determination is rewarded with a magical sword that makes him into the knight he always dreamed of becoming.”
She stopped flipping the pages, letting the book come to rest on a gorgeous woodcut of a masterfully crafted sword. “By gaining the sword, the entire story is changed. It ceases to become a cautionary tale about the dangers of ambition, and instead becomes a tale of determination and its rewards.” She turned her gaze from the antique pages, and fixed her eyes on Twilight. “Now pay attention, this is the important part.” She tore out the illustration of the sword, and flipped back to a few pages before. “If we continue the story from this point, but with that page missing, does he still have the sword?”
Twilight spent a few speechless seconds trying to recover from the shock of Starlight’s literary vandalism before answering. “Of course not. If you remove the event, then nothing tied to that event can continue to exist, especially if you go back in time.”
“Whereas if the hero of the story still finds the sword,” Starlight slid the page back into the book, undoing the damage with a flicker of magic, “but burns the bridge that leads back to the cave where he found the sword, then that sword continues to exist.” She closed the book and put it back in its drawer. “Do you understand yet, Twilight? If that other timeline had been erased by our actions, then that vial of dust would have disappeared.” The cold withdrawal in Starlight’s eyes was gone now, drowned out by her tears. When she spoke again, her voice was cracking on every second syllable. “How many ponies are alive in Equestria right now?”
Twilight tried to think of what to do, of how she could get Starlight to think about something more positive. But after about three seconds of watching Starlight try not to cry, she could think of only one thing. She remembered a time when she was just a very small filly, barely a few months into being Celestia’s student, and she had broken a vase so important that she had been taught about it in history classes. She had sat in the corner and bawled her eyes out, but instead of take her out for ice cream or assure her that the vase wasn’t all that important, all that Celestia had done was hold the crying filly tight against her and wrap those enormous warm wings around her.
Twilight inched forward on the bed, little by little, until she was finally close enough. She wrapped her hooves around Starlight and pulled her in close, her wings folding around to encircle the unicorn. There was a small gasp of shock from Starlight, but she soon relaxed and started crying into Twilight’s mane.
“It’s okay, Starlight,” she whispered as she let Starlight hug her as tight as she needed to. “I’m here, Starlight. You’re okay here. I promise.”
“Care for a glass of cocoa, Starlight?” she whispered. A muffled ‘mm-hmm’ was the only answer Twilight needed, and she waved Spike in.
Author's Note
This chapter and the following Author's Note were written by KingMoriarty .
AUTHOR’S NOTE
We also might have completely dropped the ball on the logistics of time travel, but with that being one of the most inconsistent fictional sciences out there, we feel we can get away with a few dodgy rules. Of course, there’s also the fact that the interpretation of time travel presented thus far has been entirely determined by the observations of characters who don’t actually know diddly-squat about quantum mechanics, so you can just hand-wave it as being the misinformed blitherings of silly ponies if you feel so inclined.
COMPILER'S NOTE
