I'm Sorry

~Celestia’s P.O.V~

It was just another night, it did not differ from the others. Ever since I used the elements to imprison my sister in the moon, I have been writing and sending countless letters, displaying the emotions I have felt, and continue to feel after the punishment she did not rightly deserve.

I assumed that she would’ve disposed of all the letters I’ve sent in the past, but I couldn’t help but advance.  I needed to stay in contact with her, even though we now lived in two separate worlds, two separate planets.

Now, it was that time again, for me to raise the moon, and I couldn’t help but remind myself of what I’ve done. My very sister converting from once was a ecstatic, upbeat mare, to a isolated, wistful soul.  I’ve seen the change with my very own eyes, but yet, I haven’t.

I’ve heard my subjects worship me, since the day I was born, to today. I take all of the admiration exhibited to me to heart, especially those from neighboring leaders.

“Princess Celestia, might I say, you are one of the most wisest souls I’ve ever met. It’s an honor to be in your acquaintance.”

This is what one would say, and I didn’t think of it as something they really meant until now.

I adore all of my subjects, but what they don’t realize is that I’m just a pony, just like them. I’m no god. And I know for a fact that I’m not as wise as they say I am.

“Princess Celestia,” A coarse voice interrupted my thoughts.

I had forgotten that a guard was always required to roam the Canterlot gardens at night. I felt the unconditional sorrow in my lungs as I turned around, facing the panic-stricken guard.

“It is quite bitter tonight, and forgive me for observing but, you do not usually stay out this long. Especially when raising the moon. Is there something troubling you?”

I felt my heart stiffen, a strong feeling of warmth, starting from under my hooves, and reaching up to my chest. The stinging sensation that came from the frosty winds had withdrew, as if the feelings that were stored inside of me made an adjustment to the climate. I could still feel my mane dance alongside the gusts of wind, revealing most of my face.

I smiled to myself as the guard's eyes widened, his mouth agape. Nopony had seen this side of me before. However, I was glad that the winds had done this, it was as if the deepest depths of my mind were controlling it, if that was possible.

I could tell that he was uncomfortable, my common sense was yearning for me to tell him to return to his observant post. Although, I had another purpose for him.

“No, nothing is bothering me tonight, Emerald.” I paused, the statement becoming more as a question. He realized what I had meant, and nodded. I continued on, “Thank you for tending the garden. I don’t think anypony has thanked you yet, am I correct?”

“No, nopony has.” He admitted, a little startled by my forward question, but casually shook it off. “I appreciate the courtesy, your highness.”

“Is it a-appropriate,” I cleared my throat, a little nervous, “If you joined me? It’s your choice. Don’t think of it as a requirement.”

“I-I wouldn’t mind at all.” He smiled kindly, before sitting beside me as I began to pay more attention to the star-filled sky.

Then, there was a silence. The only noise that could be heard was the sound of the grass being shifted by the wind, most pieces being torn from the ground, joining the traveling breeze. We didn’t speak directly to each other at first, but instead let the open-sky do the talking, until I heard a barely audible whisper,

"Princess?"

“Yes?” I spoke, at a normal tone.

“You are troubled, aren’t you?”

I looked over to him, speechless. My tongue couldn’t escape my mouth.

“I know what it is like,” He sighed, making sure we were making eye-contact. “Losing somepony close to you. It’s devastating. I’ve heard about the story about Nightmare Moon, and how you were forced to send her to the moon,” He paused, looking away. He turned back to face me seconds later, but his eyes were different, they were glassy, break-able. Not like I’ve ever seen before. Or maybe I have.

An image of a young filly passed by, who I cared so severely for, and who I promised to protect.

“I can see the loss in your eyes.”

I took in a deep breath, hoping to withhold the pain my eyes so strongly wanted to release. I was about to ask, before he interrupted,

“2 years ago. My younger sister, Indigo. Only 8 years old.” It was at this moment that Emerald had bowed his head, tears streaming down his cheeks, struggling to regain his breath.

I wanted to look away, to avoid the need to sob alongside him. Fortunately, I was able to resist the urgency, but instead, I had pressed one of my hooves comfortably onto his tough shoulders, that didn’t feel so tough anymore, as he sobbed his heart out in front of me.

“I’m sorry.” I apologized. I couldn’t say anymore, before I felt a wetness stain onto my cheek.

“You shouldn’t be crying, not because of me,” He hiccuped, meeting my gaze. I looked deeply into his irises, which were bloodshot from the previous scenes.

I swallowed harshly, reminding myself that I should’ve raised the moon about an hour ago, but right now, it didn’t matter, nothing mattered.

“Emerald, you may return to your post.” I exhaled, watching him as he stood, his legs wobbly, but he didn’t stumble as he made his way back to the entrance of the castle.

-       -

What I had remembered the most about the previous night was that how he glanced backwards at me as he was trotting back to the castle. It was nothing like a glare, but it had an hidden emotion inside that I couldn’t recognize.

I didn't write a letter that night.

For the first time ever.