Or Maybe Dis Place? I Dunno
"But I must say, I'm surprised you all forgave me so easily," Starlight Glimmer said as she sipped tea with her new friends.
"Eh, we've forgiven ponies for a lot worse," Pinkie Pie said. "Another cookie?"
"Oh yes, please!" Starlight gratefully accepted another cookie. She smiled at the group of friends around her: Twilight Sparkle, the Princess of Friendship. Spike the Dragon, capable assistant. Pinkie Pie, the party pony extraordinaire. Fluttershy, the kindest and most gentle of all ponies. Applejack, the dependable workhorse. Rarity, whose fashion flair was beyond compare. Rainbow Dash, the fastest flier in all of Equestria, and the one ultimately responsible for the unique bond this group of friends shared.
Ever since she was a filly, ever since that fateful day when her one and only friend got his Cutie Mark and left her behind, Starlight had spent her entire life obsessing over proving that Cutie Marks were terrible, evil things. That friendship could only exist if all ponies were equal. And when her grand experiment, the village of equality, was ruined by Princess Twilight and her friends, all Starlight could think about was revenge. Revenge against the ones who had ruined her life, stolen her happiness, and destroyed her grand plans for Equestria. Her powerful magic gave her the means, her formidable intelligence showed her the way, and her obsessive determination to ruin Twilight Sparkle had given her the opportunity.
And if she'd succeeded, Equestria would have been laid waste.
Now, she had friends. She had a place in Equestria. She had...
"Wow, all that spellcasting must've left me more tired than I thought," Starlight said. "I'm...I'm getting really sleepy."
"Well, it has been a long couple of days," Twilight said. "Why don't you go ahead and take a nap? Tomorrow's a new day!"
Starlight smiled. "Yeah. A new day. Thank you, Twilight."
Once Starlight left the room, Twilight looked around at her friends. Rainbow had a stern frown on her face. Applejack looked upset. Fluttershy's ears were folded back, and her lip was trembling. Pinkie Pie's hair had drooped. Rarity's eyes were clouded. Spike looked glum.
"Ah don't know, Twi," Applejack said. "Ah still think we shoulda handed her over t' Celestia an' let her deal with this."
"Yeah," Rainbow said. "Canterlot's got dungeons, and then there's Tartarus. If anypony belongs in Tartarus, it's Starlight."
"I don't like that we've convinced her we want to be her friends," Fluttershy said. "I feel dirty."
"I know," Twilight said sadly. "I don't like it either. But we all agreed this is what we have to do. Starlight's too dangerous to be set free, but she's also too dangerous to try to contain in a normal dungeon, and I don't think I can really plead a case for sending her to Tartarus. The only thing that makes sense is to send her to a world without magic."
"So we're just gonna dump her on Sunset Shimmer?" Pinkie asked. "Because that kinda sucks."
Twilight shook her head. "There's magic in that world now too. Besides, there's no way I'd inflict a dangerous, unstable psychopath like Starlight Glimmer on my friends at Canterlot High."
"Then what exactly do you propose to do?" Rarity asked.
"I'm going to open a one-way portal to a different world," Twilight said. "I've been studying Starswirl's notes and I watched Discord do it at the Gala, so it shouldn't be too hard. But I'm going to need your help."
Twilight's friends looked around at each other, then back at her.
"What do you want us to do?" Rainbow asked.
"Pinkie and Rainbow, I want you two to keep an eye on Starlight. Don't let her leave the castle. If she wakes up, get her to eat another drugged cookie."
Pinkie frowned at that. "I can't believe I let you talk me into baking drugged cookies."
"I'll make it up to you...somehow." Twilight looked to her other friends. "Spike, I'm going to need your help when I make the portal. Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, I have something special I need you to do."
* * * * *
Rarity and Fluttershy removed the last pins from the orange felt and peeled it off Applejack. Applejack shook her head and stepped out of the cloth copy of herself, staring at it balefully. "Okay, Ah git why you needed a live pony t' cut th' pattern an' all, but why'd you hafta go an' make this thing look like me?"
"Style, darling," Rarity said simply.
"This seems...excessive," Fluttershy said, frowning at the pile of orange and yellow felt.
"It does," Rarity agreed. "Still, better safe than sorry, I suppose. With or without magic, Starlight Glimmer is dangerous. Binding her before sending her on her way makes sense. Now, come along, help me carry all this up to her room."
* * * * *
Twilight's horn strobed. Black sparks arced along its length as sweat streamed down her face. Arcs of magenta and black electricity connected her horn to the mirror in Starlight Glimmer's bedroom. Slowly, gradually, the mirror became a rippling, swirling portal. With one last bright pulse of light, the portal stabilized, and Twilight stepped back.
Behind her, Rarity and Fluttershy finished stitching up the magically binding cloth that now covered every inch of Starlight Glimmer. Applejack scratched her head as she stared at Starlight. "You even put mah Cutie Mark on there?"
"No garment is complete without the proper accents," Rarity said. Applejack rolled her eyes and sighed.
"Alright, bring her over here," Twilight said. Rarity's horn lit up, lifting the unconscious Starlight off the floor and onto her hooves. Rainbow and Applejack began frog-marching her toward the portal.
"Wait a second!" Pinkie said. She swept Applejack's hat off her head and placed it on Starlight's. "Okay, go ahead!"
"Hey now!" Applejack said angrily.
"Oh, come on," Rainbow said, rolling her eyes. "You've got dozens of hats."
"Girls, hurry," Twilight said. "This portal's only going to be open a few more seconds, and Starlight could wake up any time now!"
With a grunt of effort, Rainbow and Applejack heaved Starlight the rest of the way to the portal, then turned and, solemn expressions on their faces, bucked her into it. In a bright flash, Starlight vanished; a second later, the portal winked out, becoming an ordinary mirror again.
Twilight sighed. "Well...that's that," she said. "That's the end of Starlight Glimmer."
Seven morose friends trotted out of the empty room, hearts heavy.
* * * * *
Everything was dark.
Starlight Glimmer tried to open her eyes, but couldn't see. She tried to move her legs, but they wouldn't respond. She tried to cast a light spell, or a flight spell, or any spell at all...and couldn't. Her magic was gone.
*What...what's going on...?*
Muffled voices carried on air she couldn't feel, as though she was hearing them through cloth.
"Where'd you find this thing?"
"In that thrift store down on Haber Street. Pretty cute, huh?"
Starlight felt herself being lifted.
"I guess. What's it supposed to be, some kind of...cowgirl rodeo pony?"
"I was thinking I could make a Halloween costume out of it. You know, cut open the back here, take out some of the stuffing so I can put my feet in the back legs, make a little pair of felt legs and a saddle that match my cowgirl outfit..."
"Blythe, you come up with some of the silliest, funniest things! I so love that about you."
"Now we need to talk about your costume, Youngmee..."
Author's Note
I've been wanting to do a satire of "Displaced" stories for a while now, because I hate them.
And after the way the season finale ended, this kind of Starlight Glimmer story is almost obligatory.
So I decided to kill two birds with one stone.
Try not to take it too seriously. Pretty much wrote this for lulz.
