Crooked Stems

by Cadejo Jones

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Horror, Romance, Derpy Hooves, Flower Ponies
Length: 6058

A heart-to-heart between Derpy Hooves and Lily the flower pony turns to a cat-and-mouse game of life and death.

Derpy called Lily here for a reason. A very important one.

Lily probably thinks it's about something else, but it's really a matter of life and death. Derpy knows what Lily's been hiding. The secret can't be hidden forever. There's lives on the line.

There's a monster lurking around Ponyville, and Derpy will do whatever it takes to destroy it.

Published 2015-11-30 14:00:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-30 14:00:02 UTC

Behind Petals

It was 14 to the door. The cross-eyed mare made it in 5.

She had to be ready. It was going to be long. It was going to hurt. Truth hurts. She learned that long ago.

Lies feed things they shouldn’t.

She ruffled her wings and hair. Let her smile take a break. Glummer the better.

The pink pony from the flower shop was behind the door.

“Hello, Lily.”

“Hello, Derpy.”

They went to the living room. Drinks were offered. Tea taken.

The pot took 15 seconds longer than normal to come to a boil. Maybe it was her anticipation. Maybe the burner’s going on the stove.

Leaves steeped. Not a word passed.

Sip. “You have me worried, Derpy.”

Look dazed, like always. The eyes helped by looking that way on their own. She had to lose focus in the muscles of her face as well. That still took practice.

“Oh, I’m sorry, do I?”

“Yeah, you do. What’s up?”

“The ceiling.” Giggle, but make it nervous as hell.

“You didn’t call me here to look at your ceiling, honey.” sip.

I’m not going to tell you what you’re here for, honey. You have to work it out of me. That’s how this works.

“I just wanted to catch up with you is all. Haven’t really seen you since before Cranky and Matilda’s Wedding.”

“Can I be frank?”

Give her a smile. “You can be whoever you like.”

“Bullshit.”

Hell. Was it all blown already? Did she know? Or—

Swig this time, not a sip, then—“I mean, to the first part. You’ve been around town plenty. We talked a week after the wedding for an hour at my—the girls and m—at the shop. You’ve been hanging around, asking about me. What’s this about?”

“I—”

“Are you in love with me, Derpy?” —cup polished off in a final swig— “Is that what this is about? Just can’t work up the feelings to tell me? Is today the day? I’m flattered, really, but I’m not sure how to take it. You’ll have to give me a couple days to—”

“I’m—Jeez, I-I’m not in love with you. T-that’s not it.” Blush for effect. Still caught off guard. Supposed she shouldn’t be surprised. Not a hard leap to make given the shape of it.

But Lily had slipped, more important. Work up the feelings? It might be an odd turn of phrase. A tripped word. Might be. With someone else. Derpy tried to ignore what one eye was telling her about what the other one was missing. She ended up hushing them both.

Not yet. I know, I know, but not yet. This has to build, or it’s all for nothing.

No need to see, either, that Lily’s guard was up. Her voice betrayed her on that count.

“I want to know what this is about then.”

“More tea?”

“To hell with the tea! Why am I here?”

“That’s the big question, ain’t it?” Sly. Grin in your head, so she can’t see it.

“It is. Answer or I’m leaving right now.”

Steady, Steady—

“Lily—”

Her guest pushed the saucer to the center of the table. Cup was still clattering on it by the time she was at the threshold to the room.

—Pounce!

“Is that your name?”

The one at the door froze. Hoof never touched handle.

“Your actual one, I mean.”

If you watched close, the shadow of the one near the door grew just a bit.

The owner of the shadow didn’t turn when she spoke. It came out flat, hollow. “I’m afraid I don’t understand, Derpy. What do you mean?”

“W-w-well, I just—” It took the bait, but jerk the line to make sure it’s hooked.

Lily turned from the door. There were too many emotions in her glance for Derpy to read at once. Didn’t matter. She knew the ones were there that she needed.

“What do you mean, honey.” It came out like a board out of a mill, and ‘honey’ in particular bounced and rattled on the floor.

“I-I just don’t know how ch—if changelings have their own names.”

The shadow stretched a full foot. Derpy wondered if Lily knew.

Probably not. Lily was blank as a slate. Tip her over and she might shatter. Or explode.

She needed it to be neither. She needed to reel Lily in, and take the prize that came with her.

“We should—um, we—we should really talk, Lily.”

You’re not free yet.

So Lily sat back down.

“M-more tea?”

The look should have been one of anger. Maybe it was. By the time it lined up with the grey mare, it washed out with the silent tears. The guest nodded.

Kettle took only 3 seconds over the average. It felt like more. Always does. Time gets bent when these things go down. No amount of force will bend it back to shape.

Leaves steeped. Tears rolled. Truth was out. Hurt wasn’t done. Lies came next. Easy to lie. Trick is to keep from believing them. Fake it too hard, might make it. Had to puff out the truth, not make it something else.

The question that had to come did so and broke the silence.

“How did you know? How long?”

“It’s—um, it’s hard to explain.” no it isn’t. “Sometimes what my eyes see doesn’t quite match up. One will tell me the other’s missing something.” That one was complete truth. “Other eye, I mean. And I dunno.” Stared off into space. For effect. “I think it was sometime after the wedding, or something.”

First outright lie. Derpy noticed the first day she met Lily. She didn’t tell anyone. Thought everyone else saw it like she did. Saw everything like she did. That’s not true. Learned it young. Part of her wished she hadn’t. It put her ahead and behind at the same time. Lily had never hurt anypony. Was it a problem?

No. Yes. She didn’t know. Time to lie.

“That’s why—it’s—it’s the reason I watched you. I had make sure you didn’t hurt anypony. What did you do with Lily? The real one?”

“There is no real one.”

Yes there is. She’s sitting right in front of me. “Oh.”

“I—I’ve been here for as long as I can remember, Derpy. I was here—here living with all of you. Peacefully, I might add! I never hurt anyone! I—I…”

Time to lay it on thick. Sticky as pitch.

“I hope that’s true. I hope so, because when they find out—”

“When? Derpy, Listen—“

“—when they find out, they’ll want to pick you apart. Like—like you’re a piñata, or something. They’re going to go over everything. They’re gonna ask everypony in town if you’ve ever done something, and it’s not fair but some of them are gonna lie and say you did, just because they can.”

Lily wept. Derpy didn’t like this part. Never would. But the misery had to be complete.

“If you’re lucky, they’ll just run you out of town—” Usual act was starting to slip. Didn’t matter. Chase is on. “—but if they do that, they’ll warn other towns, too. That’s the best version.”

“…Please.”

“They could hurt you, try to make you talk, cough up other changelings around here—”

“Please. Please! Stop!”

The Pegasus wanted to. It hurt her as much as it hurt the poor bewildered thing before her. No dice. It’s a matter of life and death. The pain Derpy felt she’d need at the turn. Had to make it look convincing.

“—But it could be once they find out, they just kill you.”

Lily wailed. The room darkened.

“I’m sorry, Lily, but the longer I try to keep this a secret, the worse off I’m going to be when they find out. And they will. I can’t take any more chances on this.”

The room was soaked through with shadows. That’s it, get greedy. She reached down beneath the coffee table and placed a dagger between them. It looked like the hour hand off a huge grandfather clock.

Lily went pale as death.

Derpy could hear it at the back of her head. That tearing sound the air makes right before Rainbow Dash does her Sonic Rainboom. She took one last look at Lily. Let the guilt soak into you. She thinks you’re going to kill her. Let that screaming voice at the front of your mind tell you how wrong this all is.

Now shut your eyes.

Time for the switch.

“So I’m going to kill myself.”

All the shadows in the room bent. eyes shut, she still heard it. Felt it. Saw it.

Lily wasn’t slack anymore. “—WHAT?”

Tears ran down her face. “If—I—I couldn’t live with ratting you out, and it’d be all my fault. I can’t take it. I can’t I just can’t I can’t.”

“Derpy! Derpy, wait—”

“I’m sorry, I’m so bucking sorry, this all my fault.”

“Stop. Stop right now you don’t have to do this we could leave together DERPY NO—”

Lily suddenly became aware of everything at once. The room was near pitch black, and roaring like a hurricane. Nothing in the room, save the two of them, looked like it was being blown by the hellish wind she felt pounding against her. Something was stirring from her shadow. Derpy, eyes still shut, already had her hoof to the blade. Through her tears, she had a devilish smirk.

“You’re mine.”

Lily won’t forget what happened next, long after she’s forgotten her own name, and the faces of those closest to her. Derpy opened her left eye, and as Lily told Derpy later, “It was glowing the purest gold, bright as a floodlight.” She winked her right eye at Lily “—that one was like—like a spark. Kind of bluish—” then with one swift motion tossed the blade up, caught the handle in her teeth, and lunged over Lily’s head. Whatever had been haunting Lily’s shadow was caught mid-pounce by the gray Pegasus. Lily couldn’t describe it, if asked, because it wasn’t around long enough for her to get a good look at it. The last things she remembered were the noises it made as the clockwork dagger tore it in half.

When Lily came around, she was still sitting on the couch, and realized she was talking.

“—I—I—I’ve been this way f—for so long that I—I—I don’t know how to change back I don’t even know if I really am a changeling anymore or if—if I’ve been stuck so long that...that I’m something else…and….w-where am I? Derpy…what…what just happened?”

She also realized that she was wrapped in a quilt, and she was holding a mug of hot cocoa, and that the hoof on her back, rubbing her soothingly through the blankets, belonged to her savior.

She took a long sip of the cocoa, then set it down with shaky hooves. She pulled the quilt tighter.

“Derpy, what was that thing? And how did you—when—I just…”

“Just try to relax, alright? You went into shock. Not surprised after a scare like that—I’ll explain everything. Least as much as I can. You warm enough? More cocoa? Okay. That thing—hiding in your shadow—was a kind of parasite. It latches onto you, usually by way of your shadow. Doesn’t feed off blood or flesh, but instead, despair. I noticed it on you, just after the wedding. Cranky and Matilda’s, I mean, not the Royal one. I had one of those things myself at one point, but I was aware of it and got lucky by way of a stranger who knew how to exorcise them. That’s why I’ve been on your tail so much lately. I was trying to keep track of the thing. This whole day was a setup to catch it.”

“How long have you known?” Lily asked, then swallowed. “I mean, about…about me?”

“From the first day we ever crossed paths. I wasn’t lying about my eyes.” She put a hoof under her right eye. “This eye sees the world as you see it.” that was the blue one, thought Lily. Derpy shifted her hoof to the other eye, the one that had shone like a lighthouse. “This eye sees the world without the veil. Speaks to me. Tells me what the other didn’t or maybe can’t catch. It’s been that way for as long as I remember, but it wasn’t until I was in grade school that I really understood. That’s when I realized I was alone. Ridley B—the…uh, the stranger that saved me, she called it the seventh sight. Yeah, I know, I asked her the same question, and she insisted it was ‘seventh,’ not ‘second.’ Either way, as a filly, I thought everyone could see you were a changeling as I did, so nothing ever came of it. When I was older and realized that I wasn’t the only different one, I figured you had your reasons for not saying anything. By the time everything went down at the royal wedding, I knew that changelings weren’t all that way, because you wouldn’t hurt a damn fly. To be frank, I couldn’t give less of a shit.”

“Then why—”

“Why did I put you through the ringer? I am sorry about it, but you know now it wasn’t without dire cause. See, I need it to expose itself in order to destroy it. It hides in the shadows of its victims. Not like I can run around with a weapon slashing the ground around ponies, can I? Never mind I’m not sure it’d work, there’s a few out there who think I should be in the nuthouse already. I need it to slip, to get greedy. I needed it to leap from its host to me. So I drove you down as far as I could—and it was painful, but better you be hurt than dead—and then spun the table. Gave it the illusion that I was the one in despair, and it bit hard. I bet both our lives on you, and you came through.”

Lily stopped staring at her hooves and looked the other mare in the eye. “What—what do you mean?”

“Do you think of yourself as a changeling, or a pony? Which one are you, each time you pay for your groceries? Each time you go to some civic celebration, or you’re trapped in a line in town hall just to do some paperwork for the flower shop? When you’re half-awake in the morning, putting that flower behind your ear each day, straightening it in the mirror, who do you think is looking back at you? It’s not a changeling, is it? You’ve got that little voice, sure, at the back of your head that says, “I’m different, I’m not one of them,” but she’s like the buzz of a fridge by now. You tune her out without realizing it. As far as our little world is concerned, you’re ponyfolk. Doesn’t matter what innards you have, you act pony, you talk pony, you are pony, when the cards are down.

“And while some ponyfolk might not get that, Lily, I do. I bet on it. I bet that when I made it seem that I was going to end my life, you would be horrified. Angered. Full of empathy and vigor and benevolence. I bet both our lives that you would try to save me. That the second you saw me reach for this blade that all of your sorrow wouldn’t matter to you. In that moment, you could have just let me rip my own throat out, cover it up, claim something had attacked us both, used it as a chance for your own gain. Those thoughts never occurred to you. I could hear it in your voice. See it, even with my eyes closed. You reached for that dagger because you didn’t want anyone to get hurt. You were selfless, and the shadow, having lost its sustenance from its host, leapt for the one offering it a banquet. You did the pony thing to do, maybe the changeling thing to do, the right thing to do. I and had no backup plan if you didn’t. Never doubted that you would stop me before I hurt myself.”

Lily looked away, but it wasn’t enough. Tears still came. After a while, she took a deep breath, sniffled, and finished the cocoa she’d set down earlier. Still warm, somehow.

“I don’t understand why you let ponies think you’re dumb.”

“Having this crooked sight does make me a bit un-coordinated, to their credit.”

“Listen to you! The way you speak, it…you’re super smart. You care. You have such a brain. Why do you hide it?”

“Because it gives me the upper hand, letting p—”

“Sweetie, that’s not why.”

“You know how much it hurts? Some ponies treat me like a foal, others, like a dog. Treat me like I’m a burden. Like I’m not taking care of myself, and I’m their unwanted and unwarranted responsibility. Too different, too strange, always tripping over herself, she must be messed in the head. Saw things as a foal that weren’t really there, or maybe she saw a stallion or mare do something that they shouldn’t, knew some secret that she couldn’t possibly have known and they resented her for it. It’s not all ponies, and it’s not the way ponies are at their core, but they do it because it’s easier that way. Never show her a splinter of respect.

“But then, oh, then, the Changelings come and the Griffons come and Zebras come and suddenly, I’m their best bud in the whole of Equestria. I’m not one of those filthy Changelings, or greedy Griffons, and those Zebras are downright evil, you know Derpy, not like us ponyfolk, and you shouldn’t associate with them. I grew up knowing you were a changeling, seeing the world both as you all see it and everything you can’t see, and you never acted different from any of us. You didn’t follow the mad Queen, you didn’t drain ponies to a husk, just did well enough with the excess emotions that pour out of Ponyville’s populace every day. They have group they think is the enemy, and just assume I’m on the team. No. Buck that, and buck them.”

The Pegasus slumped against the armrest of the couch. “I’m giving the wrong impression. It’s the upper class. Most of Ponyville’s not like that, even if they think me slow. Never…Never Twilight and her friends. Maybe Rainbow Dash a little, but you know how it is with her—everypony else is just a cast member in the Rainbow Dash show. Cheerilee knows. Can’t keep things secret from a teacher that good. Especially a bright mind. Chief target of her radar. Apples, I think—definitely Granny Smith. There must be some power that comes from being that old. How often do you see her leave the farm, much less talk to younger ponies like me? Always seems like she’s not all with it, but I’m still not sure if it’s that her mind’s just become a bit untethered with age, or if it’s a better front than mine. No, it’s not most ponies. Only the ones at the top of the heap, so to speak.”

Lily set the empty mug down. “Derpy.”

“Yes?”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

Derpy looked at one of the corners of the room, whichever was furthest from the two of them. “Yeah, well, don’t really care to, now that I think about it.”

Silence settled like dust. Lily’s head was still spinning, and the excess emotions pouring off of the other mare didn’t help straighten things out. At least she wasn’t hungry anymore. She realized that the reason she hadn’t absorbed the waves of raw feeling that had rolled off of Derpy like a tide before was the thing that had possessed her shadow. It either jammed her in some way, or consumed them before she had a chance. The only conclusion she came to was that somewhere, she had a warm bed and very much wanted to be in it. Her host had disappeared at some point, but returned now with extra quilts and a few pillows on her back. She set them down at the end of the couch.

“You look like death. Besides, I didn’t want to walk home in the dark, either. After—after the stranger chased off mine, I mean.”

“But it’s—” Dark outside. Still a bit of twilight on the horizon, but not much. “—What? But I got here at noon—”

“Closer to ten, actually.”

“How long was I out of it? Derpy, I just…I just…”

The mare was next to her, hoof over her shoulder before tears even came. “Sssh. Sssh, hey. Hey, listen to me.” Derpy put a hoof to Lily’s chin and turned her head so that eyes met. “Listen to me, it’s going to be okay, alright? Look at me, just—you’re okay. You’re going to be okay. I wouldn’t have brought you here—let all of this go down—if I didn’t think for a second that this was—is—a safe place. Time gets weird when we’re pushed to the limit, even without all the hell we just went through.” She drew Lily into a hug. “And you made it, alright? You were strong, you are strong, you’re here, and you made it. You lived to tell the tale, and once you get rid of one, they won’t come after you again. They’re too afraid. That’s all they are, stupid and afraid. You’re safe. You’re fine. You can let go.”

And she did. Derpy stroked her hair while Lily cried into her shoulder. Derpy cried too, Lily thought. Just for a moment. All that talk and all that action, but she’s still a pony like me.

After some time, Derpy let Lily out of the hug. “You want me to stay down here tonight? Don’t mind sleeping in the chair, if you want me to…keep a watch.”

“No—” Sniff. “No I—I’ll be fine.”

“If you need me, just call, and I’ll come to you, Lily. I’ll only be upstairs.”

“Okay. I’ll be okay. I promise.”

She wasn’t.

It wasn’t blackness, not dark, but the absence of light. She’d heard speculation, probably from Twilight, about what deep space must be like. Like this. It felt—It felt between worlds. Imagine apples in a basket. One might say the basket is full of apples, but is it really full? What fills the spaces between, where the apples don’t touch each other, to make it full? It has to be more than just emptiness, it’s not just air. Something sits there, takes the place of absence, gives the basket the quality of a whole and complete thing. So too it is between the endless planes.

And the thing before her!

Height was hard enough to judge in the void, but it would trample mountains underfoot like highway dust. It had the shape of a pony, more of an Alicorn than anything else. Twelve legs—six front, six back. A long, trunk-like tail that split into six fronds at the end, maybe half the length of the tail itself. No cutie mark—but down each side, three outlets, evenly spaced, that each billowed out a glowing black smoke, illuminated from within by flames of black and green and white. Somehow, the body itself was darker than the nothingness around it. The mane of the thing was endless sheets of onyx rippling as if in a wind. From its head, six horns in a circle stood like monoliths. Each horn, upon closer inspection was actually six smaller horns woven like a braid—no, a bramble until they all met at a single point at the top of the horn they made. And each of those were woven from smaller horns, too. Six wings (three sets) stretched outwards, made of leather and feather and skin and bone and fully spread would have spanned galaxies. As they rustled, the stars must have moved from the force.

But the Eyes! Almost in the shape of a horseshoe, a set of six eyes, each widening from a razor point to a full circle and back again in perfect symmetry, and they glowed white and green and black. The colors stirred between each other and each eye like mist in the morning sun.

Its jaw was terribly wide, stretching back to what must have been six ears, naturally. Thousands upon thousands of glittering teeth cast shadows, as its abysmal gullet glowed with the same white-green of the flames licking out its sides.

Its voice (voices?) shook every inch of her being.

“Black. Over White. Over Red. Over Black. Over White. Over Red. Turning
Ever over, an endless circle. So too has it always been. One
Seeks to stop the cycle. Bring all that is to end. This
Must not come to pass. Your kind cannot gain the sight. Yet
You have been conscripted nonetheless. Against the Voidstar you must fight. Seek
Out a child of Orion, for all existence hangs in balance. BEHOLD

Within the circle of Horns on its head, a seventh eye opened, and stared through her soul.

This is a dream.

I know this is a dream.

wake up. Wake up wake up wake up wake up wake up wakewakewakewakewakeWAKEUP

She did. Screaming. She was soaked in sweat, and felt around with her hooves.

Am I out? This isn’t my bed where am I? Voidstar. Six horns, six eyes

No, seven—

“I saw it too. The first night.”

Lily screamed again.

Derpy sat across the table from the couch. Upright, but the shadows of the room weren’t enough to hide the lines on her face or the fact her lids were heavy. The lantern on the table hissed as it burned.

“Haven’t seen it again. Don’t want to. Get the feeling Ridley has a few times too many. Part of why you had to stay. Wasn’t sure if you’d see it, too.”

Lily still felt her insides vibrating with its voice. She couldn’t catch her breath.

Derpy went on. “That—that thing. What else could you call it? That mouth, six eyes—”

“No—Not—Not six—” gasp “—Seven. Has—huh—has a name—” gasp “—Om—Omni—Omnichron.”

Derpy leaned forward. “How do you even know if it has a—Seven? You saw seven?”

Lily could only nod. Her chest pounded a bit less, but still struggled to get enough air. Even in her exasperated state, she couldn’t help but sip off of the new emotion rising in her host. Derpy had her chin rested on a hoof, still bent over the lantern. The shadows made her look tiny. It was some time before a sound other than Lily’s still-labored breathing entered the room.

“Do you want me to stay down here, for the night?”

Lily shook her head, but— “L-Leave the lantern, if you could, please. Just—hah—just dim it a little, thanks.”

When she fell asleep this time, she didn’t dream.

Lily was aware as she woke that she wasn’t at home, but she couldn’t quite remember where she was. She remembered

Shadows—

— A golden eye

Hot Cocoa in a mug——

——Voidstar—

A mare of gray

—Screaming

that she had met Derpy for tea at the pegasus’s house, but

Your kind cannot gain the sight

after the first cup, things were

Conscripted nonetheless

a bit fuzzy and

seek out a

“Child of Orion.” Her own voice sounded strange to her.

This was Derpy’s living room. None of last night could be real. No way. Nothing ever happens to Lily, besides the occasional maimed stem or clipped petal. She’d probably just stayed the night since they’d been talking so late. Hot cocoa right before bed was bound to give anypony nightmares—

—But couldn’t make a dagger appear out of nowhere. It lay next to the empty lantern. There was a blanket slumped over the arm of the armchair across the table, and a pillow. She came back down. Even after Lily had shooed her away, her newfound guardian angel came back and stood guard.

It feels nice, she thought, to be cared for.

The smell of blueberry muffins wafted out from the kitchen. An oven opened. There was a crash. “Ah, motherBUC—” The sound of a hoof clapped over a mouth. Something hit the counter with a rattle. Lily put her head back down and shut one eye. She peeked through the other as Derpy poked her head through the doorway. “Thank Luna. Didn’t wake her.” Mumbled profanity leaked from the other room. An oven door shut, burners clicked as they cooled. The profanity continued “—ia that hurt. Where’s the damn first aid—” and Lily snuck out of the quilts to peek through the threshold to the kitchen. Three full trays of muffins lay cooling, one missing a muffin. In its place was a sizeable dent. By the oven, the floor had a fresh dark stain. With her back to the doorway, Derpy was locked in battle with a roll of bandage, cursing under her breath every time it touched the burn on her foreleg. Lily crept up to the mare’s shoulder.

“I can help you with that, if you want.”

Derpy jumped straight up. Her exact words are lost to the sands of time, and more importantly, completely unprintable.

Lily fell down laughing. “Keep talking like that, and the muffins will go bad.”

“Starswirl’s bearded bucking ghost, filly, don’t you ever sneak up on me like that.”

“Jumping at shadows are we?”

“Not. Bucking. Funny.”

“Pretty sure one of those doozies left a stain. Raised by sailors? Carpenters?"

“I am in an excruciating amount of pain at the moment, and I was trying—”

“To make breakfast in bed for a lady after she stayed the night. What a gracious pony.”

Derpy surprised herself by blushing. “That’s, um, I mean—”

Lily already had the injured hoof, and was finishing the gauze. “I’m not joking, hon. It means a lot. You should take this by Nurse Redheart later, just in case.”

Derpy held up the wrapped hoof. It already felt worlds better. Maybe it was all in her head. Maybe.

“You’re quite the quick hoof at this. Lot of injuries at the Flower Shop? Awful dangerous work.”

Lily giggled. As she tossed the scraps in the trash, she noted the crushed muffin with a hoofprint in it laying on top. “No, no. Just picked it up over the years. Ponies are often very thankful for a skilled hoof in times of need.”

“You’re quite candid this morning.”

“You’re quite curse-y.”

“How does thankful taste?”

“Warm. Little sweet. Like fresh muffins.”

“Keep forgetting somehow. I guess I made these for nothing.”

“That’s not true.”

“How does it work then? For changelings?” Derpy tried to casually lean on the counter. Winced. Picked the wrong hoof. Pretend it didn’t hurt.

“Do you eat at Hayburgers much?”

“Hell no. Terrible stuff. Tasty? Sure. Fills you up, I guess, but there’s no nutritional value to any of it. Lot of empt—oh. Huh.”

“I still enjoy the taste of things, same as anypony else.”

It went on. Muffins cooled. Coffee percolated. Breakfast eaten. Drift like a breeze back to the living room. Lantern stowed away. Hope it’s for a while.

“I’ve still got some questions,” Lily said. “If you’ve got the time.”

“Lot of time on my hooves,” Derpy said. She looked down at the clockwork dagger. “Too much, even.”

“You saved me. Who saved you?”

Derpy kept turning the dagger over. Looked at it a while. Started talking when she set it down. “The Doctor—you know him, right? Always hanging out with Rose? He called her the Smiling Mare. Didn’t like her. I think that for once, Doc made a bad call on character. Her name was Ridley Box. Pegasus, normal build, maybe a little tall. Orange coat, midnight blue mane. Her wings, though—that’s how you know it’s her. They’re a mess. Like shredded blankets, spread over wires. Never said what happened to them, but you can tell they’re dead as stone. You got lucky, really, because you only had one of those suckers on your shadow. I had about five. The craziest part of it was, it was like they recognized her, because when she showed up they went berserk. She had the minute hand to this” —she tapped the dagger for effect— “and made it an abattoir. Brought me back here, stayed the night, taught me how to fight those things.”

“And here I thought I was your first lady guest.”

Derpy laughed. “You are, in a way. That night, I was a guest in my own house. Saw that thing in my sleep. Cried like a newborn foal, I think. She told me I shouldn’t be worried by what I saw. Remember what doc called her? The ‘Smiling Mare?’ She must have seen that being many times. She was kind, but whenever she smiled she kept her lips shut. Which is for the better. I caught her full smile only twice, and the first time I thought I was just seeing things, as it was during the fight. Second time was when I woke up.

“And I’ll never forget it, Lily. I won’t. You called it the Omnichron. I think…I think in some old language, it sort of means the ‘all-time.’ Sort of makes sense. The reason I bring it up is because Ridley’s smile looked like it was a thousand miles long. It looked like she had switchblades for teeth. Lily, it looked exactly like the one that monstrous thing had.”

Tick Tock, went the hall clock. Otherwise silence kept a vicegrip. Outside, the had been up almost two hours, but still hid behind the dim gray of the season.

The words, again, came to Lily’s mind. Child of Orion. This Ridley Box must be one. Maybe that’s to figure out later. She ran her hoof along the blankets piled next to her.

“These quilts are very nice, Derpy. Very warm.”

“Uh, thanks. Had them a while now.”

“You know, you should come out with me and the girls one of these nights. We go to the fancy restaurant on the other side of town, dress up and make a whole shindig out of it.”

“I…I don’t really have any dresses, or anything.”

“Not suited to your roguish image?”

“More that they’re a huge tripping hazard for me.”

“Well, it doesn’t have to be for that, then. Drop in more often! You’ll always be welcome.”

When had they gotten to the door? And why did she wish Lily wouldn’t go?

“Remember to see Nurse Redheart now. Can’t have Ponyville’s secret hero crippled, can we?”

“Th-This afternoon. Of course.”

“You know? It’s funny.” Lily turned back. It was snowing. She could see her breath. “When I came, I was sort of hoping this all was because you did like me.”

A million different ideas made a mad dash for Derpy’s mouth. Only one escaped the gridlock, not entirely unscathed:

“W-why?”

“All of us deserve to have somepony. Somepony to take care of them, a ‘special’ somepony.”

Lily came closer.

“Especially you.”

A hoof on one cheek. A quick kiss on the other. Then she was gone, only hoofprints.

Derpy smiled, and rubbed her cheek as she went back inside.

14 to the door, yes, but why count on the way back?

Author's Note

Originally this story ended right after Derpy slayed the shadow. But, as it usually goes, the story had other plans. I really like the idea that what we see through the show is a distorted version of their reality, through the eyes of Twilight or Spike, and that so many of the characters we see are actually very different ponies, capable of so much more than what we are lead to believe.

I think we'll see more of these two in the future. No—I'm sure of it.

as for that monolithic deity in the middle there, I don't know what else to say. For years, I've seen it every time I shut my eyes.

EDIT 11/30 10:40 local time: Didn't realize this until just now that this story was probably inspired by the song "By Crooked Steps," by Soundgarden. I haven't heard it in months, maybe a year, but given the eerie parallels from the titles on downward, I have no doubt some chunk of it has been percolating for all that time.