He's A Demon, He's A Devil, He's A Doll

by Hood

Rating: everyone
Tags: Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 991

Celestia and Luna talk about Discord, the past, and decide what to do with him.

Taking place just before Discord is again released, but this time for reformation, Celestia and Luna have a little chat that leads to these happenings.

Inspired by He's A Demon - He's A Devil - He's A Doll by Betty Hutton

Published 2015-11-30 22:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-11-30 22:40:01 UTC

HE'S A DOG

On a particularly dreary day, Luna awoke to a few odd rays creeping through her window and past her face, and into her quiet, dark room. She rose from her bed, only to ask aloud, "What's this?"

A few minutes would pass, but soon enough, she'd come out and into the light. She could see the sun had already been up well before she was even ready to greet the day. Luckily, the clouds overhead kept things dim enough for the late night princess. There she stood on her stony balcony overlooking the now daytime lit city of Canterlot wondering why her sister would possibly be up so early.

She looked over to the tower opposite her’s to see if her fellow princess was there, but it didn't look like she was. Like always, Celestia left her window open a bit, and from what Luna could tell, the room was vacant. Luna had the faintest feeling that her sister wasn’t in the castle, but instead, down below somewhere. Why else would she be up? Luna began looking around, and then, she saw her right in the midst of all those historic statues. Again.

Princess Luna rested her hoof on her muzzle with closed eyes, and squinted them. “Everyone’s already told her he’s no good. Way back then he didn’t act friendly like he should. If he were a regular pony then maybe things could be understood.”

She watched her sister closely, and sure enough, she returned to the same figure of Discord, and even far off, Luna could hear Celestia trying to whisper ever so silently, “I would forget you, Discord… if only I could…”

From way up above, Luna shouted down to Celestia to remind her, “He’s a demon! He’s a devil!”

In reply, Celestia shouted back, “Yeah, and he’s also a DOLL!”

At that, the youngest sibling teleported Celestia right back to the castle, away from Discord so that they could discuss this in private. She appeared in a puff of luminescent smoke, and before she could speak, Luna began, “Remember when we were young? You felt as though spring had sprung, and then he came along!”

“He came followed by a pink overcast, and I hoped that it wouldn’t last, but the journey, Luna... wasn’t it a complete blast?!”

“And though I won’t argue there,” Luna voiced, “his shenanigans weren’t fair.”

“But when I was alone and hungry, he showed sympathy, the kind that back then was rare.”

Looking down at him, Luna continued on. “Discord could look me in the eye, tell the biggest, sweetest lie…” She looked away. “But even I know he’s not that bad of a guy.”

Celestia smiled wide and childishly. “But Luna, you said it yourself. He’s a demon! He’s a devil!”

“Let me put it like this,” Luna sheepishly attempted, touching the tips of her hooves together nervously. “When he wants to be, he’s a doll.”

“Think back in the middle, when he fooled both you and I, into thinking he wanted to be…”

“A friend who wanted to be free.”

Celestia rolled her eyes. “I had made up my mind, that I’d stop being so blind. I was, Luna. I was ready to just… tell him off real bad!”

“But then he put on those charms, and I remember even seeing you in his arms.”

“I had forgotten why I was so mad.” Celestia was blushing by now.

“You ought to tell him to DROP DEAD,” Luna screamed more than said.

“But both you and I keep wanting to love him instead.”

“Speak for yourself,” Luna sneered.

“Oh, Luna… My momma must’ve dropped me on my head! Like I said. He’s a demon. He’s a devil! He’s a-”

“Doll?”

“Yes, or something like it.”

They giggled some more before Luna spoke up. “And I’ll be honest, it was still… ‘fun’ in the end, the thrill he put us through. Don’t get me wrong, sister, I know that sometimes he can be sweet, and true, too… More times than I can count, though, I simply wished he were in Timbucktu.”

Celestia laughed a little bit more at that last line. Together this time, they both admitted it. “He’s a demon. He’s a devil. He’s a doll!”

Then, Celestia started making some pretty outlandish suggestions. “I had this idea last night, to release discord and give him the chance to reform.”

Luna gasped at that. “Next thing you know, he’ll be kicking up some chaotic storm!”

“But, Luna… He’s a darling… and, he’s a dreamboat…”

Luna looked up to see her elder sibling with her eyes closed, daydreaming. “HE’S A DOG!”

Of course, Princess Celestia kept on with the idea. “If things got out of control, we could turn him back into stone, and how could he stand being so alone?”

“Because patience is what delivers onto one the throne!”

“But maybe with a delicate touch.” Celestia looked at her sister seriously. “Oh, Luna, I want him back so much!”

“Celestia, please, he’s a brute. He personally drove me crazy.”

“Wasn’t he cute?” Luna made this face, like she couldn’t believe what she was hearing, and Celestia knew why. “Oh, you’re right… Why do I love a guy I ought to royally execute?”

“Because,” Luna said. She knew what the answer to that was as well as Celestia. “He’s a demon,” she started for her fellow princess.

Celestia nodded. “He’s a devil…”

Together, “He’s Discord, and he’s a doll.”

Celestia finished, “Mostly my doll.”

Luna could only sigh. “It would take some serious determination on both our parts. Are you sure you don’t want to reconsider.”

Celestia shook her head. “No, I know what needs to be done. Besides, I think in the end, his chaotic magic will be of some use to everypony."

Needless to say, Discord would be set free, only to ask later on why Celestia had called him a doll back in the courtyard.