Two Background Ponies Revisit Season Five

What About Discord?

Incarlsistency Presents: "DASHING & DOOFUS"

[Small cartoon of a suave, neat, and smiling-friendly pony and a sloppy, rough, and sheepishly-shrugging pony]

Dashing invites left-out friends on fun activities.

[Cartoon of the neat pony and his buddies dressed in soccer uniforms at the door of another pony's house, asking him to come along.]

Doofus purposely encourages his friends to leave out others so he can watch them get jealous.

[Cartoon of the rough pony grinning darkly over his shoulder as he and his buddies are off playing soccer, while a lone pony to one side is frowning and stamping his hooves.]

Dashing doesn't bother his friend when they have their relatives in town.

[Cartoon of the neat pony reading a book at a park bench while two other ponies are laughing and talking in the background.]

Doofus fakes being sick to try and stress his friend and their relative to the breaking point.

[Cartoon of the rough pony lying in bed surrounded by needs such as soup, medicine, tissues, and clear soda and grinning while the other two ponies argue over him.]

Dashing is polite and friendly to his friends' own friends.

[Cartoon of the neat pony shaking hands with another pony while a third smiles and stands in between them.]

Doofus tears a hole in the fabric of space and time and tries to throw his friends' friends into them so he can have his friends all to himself.

[Cartoon of the rough pony angrily trying to shove a pony into a cosmic gate in thin air filled with tentacles and multi-eyed creature while another screaming pony is trying to stop him.]

Dashing admits when he's made a mistake before anypony gets hurt.

[Cartoon of the neat pony looking sorrowful as he points out a loose wheel on a wagon to a friend.]

Doofus sits back and watches things play out because he's a sadistic bastard.

[Cartoon of the rough pony eating popcorn and smiling as a pony is screaming in terror from his wagon losing a wheel and now going out of control down a steep hill.]

Dashing has a tea party with his friends.

[Cartoon of the neat pony and friends having tea.]

Doofus uses the tea party as a pretext to sell out his only friends in the world to demonic entities in exchange for power and dominion.

[Cartoon of the rough pony's friends crying out in agony and torment from flaming cages while he himself laughs insanely.]

Dashing accepts his help not being needed gracefully.

[Cartoon of the neat pony calmly walking away when a group of ponies are working on building a parade float.]

Doofus gets revenge for being snubbed by introducing his friends' species to the Borg.

[Cartoon of the rough pony smiling smugly as a giant bionic cube begins to scoop up large sections of the town while the group of ponies flees in terror from cyborg ponies with white skin.]

Dashing goes bowling with a friend.

[Cartoon of the neat pony and a friend at the bowling alley.]

Doofus burns down his friend's house, covers the remains in a truckload of fresh manure, and then dumps a bucket full of ground up pet entrails on them.

[Cartoon of the rough pony laughing at the gory mess this all would leave.]

Sam was left staring rather wide-eyed at the last panel that Carl drew. Both were seated once again for a cookie outing, and the green stallion was producing his latest creation for the blue one to view.

"So I figure, 'I used to read those things in 'Gaslights' when I was younger'. Maybe it would do him some good to see some new ones."

Finally, Sam's face twisted into a frown as he flung the entire book over his shoulder into the street. "Sam, these things are crazy...not to mention explicit and inappropriate for foals! Besides, are you nuts? Look, I know you have problems with your own nephews, but do you think any kid is dumb enough to get these 'responses confused'?"

Carl gave Sam a look at that. "...Clearly you haven't been paying enough attention to the girls' 'Special Friend' lately."

"Well...I know he kind of helped drain the talent out of us back when Tirek was around, but...he's better now, right? I mean...it would make sense that now he'd be actively making an effort not to bring misery to other ponies, much less his friends, right?"

Carl only continued to give him the look. "...I think I'm rubbing off on you at last, Sam."

"Oh, come on!"

Both ponies turned and looked at that, and recoiled in shock as they saw a draconnequis standing behind them, having picked up their book. Currently he was using his ability to morph his body by growing extra limbs to hold several cans of gasoline, a dump truck full of steaming manure with flies buzzing around it, a gigantic sausage grinder, and Owluiscious and a rather panicked-looking Spike all at once...along with the discarded book, which he was now glancing over.

"Now suddenly that's bad too?!" Hissing in disgust, he let his arms go and dumped everything on the ground (the owl and the dragon immediately running for it), before he began to eat the book like a stale cookie. "This 'friendship' thing is getting more confusing all the time... And they say I don't make sense..." He turned and began to float away, pinching the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Alright, Discord... Baby steps... Baby steps float to Fluttershy's..."

Both Sam and Carl were left staring in stunned silence and unease.

"...I really hope he read the one about the cyborg ponies...or that nopony leaves him out of any activities."

You know...aside from that one bit, there really wasn't much in that episode to do with "What About Bob?" Which is a shame because that had a lot more comedic possibilities...

A bland Discord episode... What is Equestria coming to?

Actually, after the whole incident, Discord did try out a bit of that "death therapy" to cure Twilight of her jealousy...

...And...how'd that work out?

Who is John Galt?

That's a phrase I could have gone without ever hearing again...