WHAT HAVE I DONE!?
Distrance, Owlor and Lucedefu agreed to meet for breakfast at Waffle House. Owlor arrived first in an old nineties Buick. He looked at the Waffle House. It looked just like any other Waffle House, yellow roof, unconscious person inside at a booth. Owlor grinned. He was going to get to meet some of his friends. Tytyvm and CosmicAfro both said they were busy, but Distrance and Luce both agreed to come.
Next up was Luce, he drove up in a Ferrari. He removed his Oakley sunglasses and walked up to Owlor.
"Owlor! How ya doin' buddy?"
"Doin' good, doin' good. You wanna wait inside for Distrance?"
"Yeah that sounds cool, let's go."
They both entered the Waffle House. Their shoes stuck to the brown tiled floor. They sat at a booth that appeared to be clean and waited for Distrance.
And Distrance came quickly. In a spaceship. Distrance landed in the parking lot. He opened the bay doors and exited. He removed his Oakley sunglasses and trotted up to Owlor and Luce. The old woman behind the counter fainted. Distrance's hoof steps could be heard throughout the Waffle House. He walked up to Owlor and Luce and sat down. Luce and Owlor were both shocked. Luce spoke first.
"Distrance?"
"Yeah?"
"You're a pony."
"Yeah. You know how expensive it is to rent a spaceship from Equestria to Nevada? Good thing I'm a billionaire."
Owlor spoke up "So could I borrow some money?"
"Sorry, bits don't convert to human currency."
"Damn."
A waitress approached the trio and asked them for their orders. Of course they all got loaded hash browns. The waitress quickly fetched the hash browns from underneath a heat lamp and brought it to them.
There the trio sat. Eating Waffle House hash browns. Distrance spoke
"Who wants to go have sex in the bathroom?"
Owlor and Luce both raised their hands.
They all stood up, leaving their half finished hash browns behind. They crossed the Waffle House towards the bathroom. Distrance had picked up the check like a bro.
At the bathroom, Owlor knocked on the door. There was a man inside, but he soon finished. Owlor, Distrance and Luce all piled into the one person bathroom. It smelled like shit. The toilet hadn't been flushed and someone's diarrhea remained. There was a puddle of urine on the ground, but the worst part by far was the lack of soap in the hand pump.
Owlor died from the nastiness in the Waffle House bathroom. He collapsed onto the floor in the puddle of urine. Luce removed Owlor's clothes that way Owlor's dead body could feel like it participated. Luce then removed his own clothes. He looked to Distrance, who had pulled out a camera and took a picture of Luce and Owlor. Distrance then left the bathroom, shook that polaroid picture, pulled out an envelope, and mailed the picture to the nearest news station.
The headlines that night read "Insane gay man murders friend in Waffle House bathroom."
Distrance smiled in his spaceship as he watched the police take Luce away. As Distrance flew away, he spoke to himself
"Nopony can know the truth."
A few minutes later, he arrived at Overdonefictions's house with a laser gun. He knocked on the door. Overdone saw the silhouette of a pony outside and eagerly opened the door. Distrance turned him to a pile of ash. Distrance returned to his spaceship once again. He entered it and flew away, content that now nopony knew the truth.
I'm sorry for this
Tytyvm sat in front of the gleaming monitor of his computer, chatting it up with CosmicAfro about adminy stuff. It was midnight at Tytyvm's house and he was alone. He looked over his desk , he had his mouse and pad, he had his computer, and he had a cup of coffee and a bag of cheezy puffs. Tytyvm took a sip of coffee, he wanted to stay awake with Cosmic. He had a beating in his chest. He felt so close to Cosmic, he couldn't bear to log off. They were close friends but Tytyvm wondered if they could become something more.
Tytyvm made another comment to Cosmic about the homepage banner. Cosmic replied...strangely. He asked Tytyvm a question. A weird question. Tytyvm did a double take and read
"Tytyvm, did you know that I'm not real?"
Tytyvm made a confused face, but replied "What do you mean?"
"You remember when you made the Writers' Group account? Well I'm the real deal. I'm a collection of the Internet's pony stuff into a being. And I'm lonely."
Tytyvm got excited. Not only was he talking to the internet, but the internet was lonely, and only Tytyvm could cure this. He replied
"What can I do?"
At that moment, the embodiment of CosmicAfro burst through his computer screen. If you're wondering what that looks like, it's his Swaggatar. So Cosmic's Swaggatar now sat on Tytyvm's computer desk. Tytyvm was surprised, but he calmed himself.
"So here you are Cosmic, what do you want to do?"
"I want to have Trollosex with you." She spoke with a saucy, sultry voice. Tytyvm couldn't resist.
Cosmic slowly moved from the desk and sat in Tytyvm's lap. Tytyvm groaned an unmanly groan, but Cosmic paid him no mind. He/she/it reached down with her hooves. Cosmic stopped.
"Uuuum, Tytyvm?"
"Yeah?"
"I can't undo zippers with these hooves."
"I'll get it."
Tytyvm reached down and undid his pants, he smiled at Cosmic. Cosmic took the hint and bent down. Cosmic pulled down his pants all the way. Cosmic was shocked. Where Cosmic expected to find Tytyvm's love stick, there was only a trollface sticker. Tytyvm made his own trollface. Cosmic spoke to him
"So what do we do now?"
Tytyvm grinned even wider "MONOPOLY!"
And so, they played strip Monopoly until the sun came up. Tytyvm won, since Cosmic's Swaggatar doesn't wear any clothes. Except for sunglasses. Using them, Cosmic bought Boardwalk and almost won.
