"At the end of the game, the King and the Pawn go back into the same box."
I always liked that quote. Poignant, but pronounced. I almost wished I could claim it as my own.
There was a suggested truth to it that ponies had ignored for generations. A simple little thought that would ultimately change the symbiosis of Equestria for the rest of time and beyond. An Equestria where there was no ignorance, no damage, no change, and no difference.
An Equestria where we all came from, and went back into the same box.
I had built that box.
It was an extremely long, often painful, arduous process. It had taken half a lifetime, a plethora of magic, perpetual speeches, and more than a few helpings of gruel. But I had gotten there in the end. I had made my dream a reality. I had made it the reality.
Equestria was a land of equality.
Everypony was equal.
As I stripped the last known cutie mark from a Canterlot citizen, the crowd let out a roar that shook the earth. It was done. There would be no more longing or heartache, there couldn't be, it was now an impossibility. You couldn't yearn for more if you could not be more than anypony else.
When I retreated into my study that night, I cried for hours. Not tears of pain of course, but tears from the knowledge that it was finally done. From the knowledge that I could walk out the next day with the prospect that life was no longer a constant battleground for worth. With the knowledge that there would never again be a filly or colt whose life would fracture due to the burden of talent and purpose. There would never again be a friendship that would come to an end from envy or jealousy.
The box was built, and we were living in it.
No pony was better than anypony else. Our cutie marks symbolised it, and my tears were testaments of its truth.
However...
We weren't truly done yet. Somepony remained unequal. Somepony, who if they chose to could shatter the image of community and togetherness with their cutie mark, a branding that only glorified themselves and their differences. One cutie mark was one too many, and it needed to go, or else there was no point to any of this.
I looked in the mirror, and felt my now unrivalled magical strength gather in my horn. I wiped the make up from my flank and gave my mark one last look. I almost felt like saying goodbye.
Instead I just bid it good riddance.
I was found the next morning, sprawled out on the carpet like a rodent. I made the excuse of simply being so exhausted that I collapsed while grooming myself, which my company accepted with a laugh. He was once one of the castles royal guards I believe, now he was just a pony. Now he was no better than I, or I him.
As I looked to the mirror again, I observed my new mark, two lines of equal length were now embedded on my person. I no longer had to hide behind a facade. I was now free from the burden of creating harmony and from potentially dismantling it.
The sunlight hit my face through the window, it glowed so bright I didn't even notice that my coat had dulled from its usual shine. As it rose higher into the sky, I decided to complete one last order of business. One final detail to quench before I could finally move on with my life, and make friends of equal worth far and wide throughout the land.
The stair to the dungeon was putrid. The stone steps broke like gravel under my hooves, a side effect of their constant overuse. I paid no mind to the ponies who sat behind the barred cages, they were not worth my time. More than one was a common criminal, a petty thief, or a bungled burglar.
Others were worse, those who refused to change, those who actively fought against it. I stripped them quickly and left them at the mercy of my recordings. Even then they persisted. I carried on regardless. I wasn't here for them.
One prisoner was special. Special enough to be trapped in a box of azbantium. Celestia's own design. Magic absorbent, completely unbreakable, it would take eons to even make a scratch, time which my guest didn't have. I had already won after all.
I knocked on the transparent wall, the figure behind it shimmering like crystal. She didn't even raise her head to face me. Rude. The harness she was in didn't impede head movement.
"This is a bad habit of yours," I remember saying. She shook at my voice, but I continued. This was a necessary evil, one I wished she would just comply with, there really was not any alternative for her. But nevertheless, I had come here for a purpose. "I came to say... I'm sorry."
The air seemed to thicken, and in that moment I praised Celestia for her ingenuity, her prison was my salvation. Even with all my previous magical talent, I could not strip my prisoner of her mark, only the prison protected me from her might.
"Do. Not. Speak."
I averted my gaze, avoiding any potential eye contact. It was a moment of weakness that I couldn't avoid. "Princess... I."
Celestia yelled, and I raised my head in fright. Thankfully the bonds on her body and horn held. She lunged forward, but then halted herself, as if she was unconsciously restraining her own movement. Holding her head high, she bore into my soul, and I looked away again. Even after all this time, seeing her like this had not gotten any easier.
"One day, Starlight Glimmer..." Celestia spoke, in a harrowing tone reminiscent of her previous regality. "You will realise just how wrong you are."
I looked up, my expression hardening. I had made myself perfectly clear many times before, if she accepted the way, I would free her. There was no need for this, but she made it a necessity, even if it was one I regretted. Equestria needed a Princess, it needed the day and the night, and she was the only one who could bring it. If it had to be forced, that was her own fault.
"You know what I wanted. Which as of today? I have," I couldn't suppress the grin on my face, even though it felt ill timed. "Equestria is equal. I brought about the change that has ended disharmony. There will be no more Sombras, no more Discords, no more Nightmares! We'll all live in friendship and harmony until the end of days!"
I placed my hooves on the impenetrable wall, I realise now that I was literally on my knees pleading. Pleading for her to end her resistance. "Why can't you just stop? Why can't you just accept that this is the way? That we can all be happy as equals?!"
Celestia approached me, struggling against the harness and tubes that bound her. I couldn't help but shrink at the still indomitable presence she possessed. She leaned towards the glass like wall, towering over me in height. "I would rather see ponies flourish as villains, rather than punish them with the fate you have granted my subjects."
I wanted to retort, but Celestia continued, unfettered by my presence. "I would rather lose my sister a thousand times more to envy, than have her live as a broken husk of a mare like you! Like a walking corpse with no other purpose in life other than to wait for the inevitable!"
Magic sparked from Celestia's horn, but was quickly drained up the helmet she wore. None of her magic was allowed to go anywhere else, every bit of it was needed to raise the sun and moon.
"You failed, Starlight Glimmer!" Celestia screamed, her composure breaking like never before. I was undoubtedly afraid. "You brought about nothing!"
I bang my hooves on the wall. How dare she say that to me. "I will be remembered as the pony that ended pain!" I relaxed, one hoof held to the wall, almost as if I was reaching for Celestia. "You can be there too. Yours is the only cutie mark I need. You're the only one who can bring about the day and night." My vision blurred, I could feel a dampness on my checks. "Please... Don't make me have to keep doing this to you."
Celestia rose on her brittle legs, struggling but ultimately succeeding in turning her back to me. With a deep sigh, she spoke once more. "You will not be remembered at all, Starlight Glimmer. If you continue on this course of action," she paused, shaking her head, as if she was attempting to reassure herself. "I beg of you. Stop this now. Or you will suffer along with the whole of Equestria."
She had threatened me, after everything I had subjected her to. She was either insane or stupid. "I must be sucking more than magic out of your head if you think this is going to end with an idle threat. I'm not the one in the cage, Princess!"
Celestia coughed, then crackled. I was unnerved, with the feeling only growing when she refused to stop. After a while she managed to get some words out. Giggling all the way. "How wrong you are, Starlight Glimmer!" She sputtered out, before collapsing to the ground, her voice breaking between laughs and wails.
I had offered her the chance, and she had refused yet again. With no other alternative I left her in solace. There was nothing more I could do for her if she refused to accept the path laid out.
She was found dead later that day, her horn shattered into a thousand pieces. It had to have been self inflicted, not that any of us could know for certain, the examiner was no better than anypony else after all.
After that, everything started to crumble.
The sun never set from that day onwards, even now I can see it behind the dust, barely. Ponies started to become restless, it was difficult to adjust to sleep with the light constantly shining in your face. No collection of unicorns were able to budge the sun or moon, like they could in the tales of old. No pony was good enough, or more accurately, no pony was better than anypony else.
It only got worse from there.
No clouds could be created strong enough to hold rain, no earth could be farmed to grow crops. Plants died, pets died, buildings crumbled, and ponies started to revolt.
I was their target. They wanted their marks back, and they thought I had them. I told them I didn't of course but they didn't listen. They just frenzied and attacked. Those who still believed fought beside me, but it was fought to a stalemate. No side was stronger or weaker than the other.
Some ponies retreated into the Everfree, where the weather and plants still sprouted and flourished untamed for a time. Others simply ran from Equestria itself, hoping for a land where they could be provided for, a land tended to by someone better than themselves.
I have no hope for them.
In Canterlot proper, after the fighting had quelled. Everything became quiet. No pony went out anymore, no pony did anything anymore. What was there to do? Play a game? Why? There was no winners or losers anymore. Create something? Something that was never of exceptional quality. Cook? Clean? Sing? Love? Hate? Live?!
None of it existed anymore!
At some point I hid myself away, too afraid to face anypony else. Too afraid to find my friends, my friends who were the same as me in every way, and exactly the same as everypony else.
We were all meant to be friends...
I retreated into the Canterlot castle, stocked up on food, locked the doors, and watched as the land I loved broke apart beneath me like sand.
At some point I believed we would be like phoenixes, rising from the ashes of our failure as we gave birth to new life.
Life didn't happen anymore, not even new life.
No pony was good enough.
No pony was better than anypony else.
At anything and everything.
One day I woke up, walked out onto the balcony, and just watched. Watched and waited. I heard nothing. Nothing but the steadily increasing wind. There was no pony there anymore, only specks and echoes. The remains of those who fought and those who fled.
It was so tempting... To take that one last step forward.
And yet I could not. I was too afraid to face the world beyond the castle doors, but also too afraid to face the other world beyond the castle doors, the one that involved the short trip down to the lobby.
Being the coward that I was, I ran away from the sight of the decaying Canterlot, feeling as if every speck of dust was a judging eye watching me. I hid under the bed like the ignorant filly I was, like I had done so long ago during my time with Sunburst.
That stupid little colt, I miss him so much.
I miss them all so much.
As I wept that day, I remembered a story from my youth, one I had found amongst Sunburst's family's many books. It never failed to creep me out. But given my current situation I deemed it quite appropriate.
"The last mare sat alone in a room, there was a knock at the door."
What if I heard a knock? Would I open the door? Would I be too afraid?
Looking over the dead remains of Canterlot from my haven, I decided on a solution. Instead of waiting for something to knock at my door, how about I go knock on theirs? Mix it up a bit.
What other options did I have left?
I packed light, only the essentials. The wind was heavy outside now, the air was abhorrent, and the dust was blinding. I donned some old guard armour and concealed my face for protection from the elements.
It was so dark now.
Oh Celestia... What did I do?
I stood before the locked door, I refused to open it despite my prompting thoughts. I was afraid. Afraid of what laid beyond it, afraid of what didn't lay beyond it.
I can't go out there as the pony was, a pony no better than anypony else. I was a living monument, shouting to the world how I was wrong about everything I ever thought. I was living proof that conformity and masking who I really was with a fake equal sign cutie mark brought nothing but pain. The very pain I sought to destroy.
Celestia had been right all along, she gave me a way out, and my stubbornness had all but destroyed Equestria.
I don't deserve to have lived this long.
But I was still too afraid to take that last step. I was the pony who killed Equestria. Maybe I deserved to suffer it rather than be granted the sudden exit so many more had chosen.
I can't make amends if I'm dead.
I will walk out that door and I will find somepony else, somepony different, vastly different. Somepony better. Actually no. I'll find a dozen ponies! All unique! Together in harmony but separated in everything else. Ponies who don't conform, ponies not just alive, but living!
A pony like me, a pony separated by a mark. A mark that didn't cause anything other than appreciation and prosperity.
For that, I will need my cutie mark.
I searched and searched. I had removed it in this room, from what felt like so long ago. It must be here. It had to be here!
I don't want to feel like this anymore. I want to excel, I want to feel superior, I want to feel inferior!
It was like it was calling to me. I smashed the floorboards open. I did not wince nor cry aloud, I didn't need to. Because I found it, hiding just out of reach, almost like it was hiding. I extended my hoof, and I kept reaching. I never stopped reaching.
I touched it.
A flash overcame my vision, it must have been visible for miles from the tower I was in. It was like a liquid, pouring out of every orifice. Magic. My magic was returning, every aspect that made me me was flowing right back into my body.
I liked being me.
With renewed vigour, I turned toward the still barred door. I charged my horn and let it loose, and the door burst open in a blaze of turquoise fire. Wrapping a scarf around my face, I walked out into the dust. Somewhere there was something, I just had to find it.
I probably don't deserve the luxury of company anymore, I deserve only the worst that can ever be conceived. My fate now is something that I would never wish upon anypony else, except myself of course, but hopefully, just maybe, there's somepony else out there, wandering amongst the ash, looking for another lost soul.
At the end of the game, the King and the Pawn go back into the same box.
Well the game's not over yet.
Author's Note
My entry for the Writer's Training Ground thing.
So my headcanon is that the bad bad barren timeline is the one where Starlight won, I just think it makes it more poignant if the one Starlight saw in the show is also the one she personally caused.
So yeah, comment, like, and stuff please. If it sucks be sure to swear. Thanks!
