I Wish I Hadn't Told You So
Nothing--there was...nothing. The land was bare, and the air was cool. Darkness was Equestria’s only inhabitant. There were no plants, no animals, no ponies...There was nothing.
Starlight’s eyes scanned the plain, where there lay nothing but torrid, cracked soil, covered in volcanic ash, stretching for miles and miles. She trembled: “What is this--”
“--It’s your’s.” Twilight said.
“Impossible, you can’t tell me that this is real--” She accused angrily.
“--It is.”
"No--" She yelled.
"--Yes"
"Liar--" She shouted louder.
"Really?"
Starlight froze.
She dropped to the ground. Her face drooped, her jaw hung agape. Her cheeks crinkled, and her skin flushed; even she didn’t stand out among the barrens. She ran her shaky hooves through her mane before collapsing to the ground. Streams of sorrow flowed down her flushed cheeks, her weak head buried into her forelegs. Her stomach wrenched, and she wailed, “How…!”
She wept uncontrollably, screaming and jerking from side to side as she writhed in agony. Her puffy eyes; blurry, glossed, prevented her from seeing the devastating woe that was Equestria. She was grateful. She couldn’t tolerate seeing it; not like this.
Twilight leaned on the edge of the ravaged, near unrecognizable Cutie Map. Such a beautiful map, it used to glisten under the lights of memories, in a massive castle, amidst a sea of, deep violet, world-class designer carpet in the most alluring castle in all of Equestria. Now, it was dead. Nothing more, but dead. Cities that used to breath abundant, joyous life were now useless statuettes.
Twilight stared at the naked, fractured earth casually. Her face was blank, covered by explicit bareness. From far away she could have been mistaken for a carcass, waiting on the vultures that would never arrive.
Starlight’s profuse sobbing endured. She didn’t even bat a glance. Her eyes were glued to the terrain.
Starlight choked on tears. “How could this happen? This doesn’t make sense, this can’t be real. It can’t be. You can’t convince me otherwise, Twilight Sparkle: this isn’t real. Whatever you’re doing, it isn’t going to get to me.”
Twilight didn’t answer.
“Did you hear me?” she shouted. She stared at the murky figure of Twilight. “I said, did you hear me!”
Silence.
Starlight’s temperature started to rise, a vein bulging in her head.
She planted her forehooves into the ground and struggled to pick herself up. When she pulled herself over to Twilight, she moved right in front of her, placing her hooves in Twilight’s peripherals. “I said! Did you hear me!” she cried, tears still streaming.
Twilight didn’t budge. Starlight’s eyes sunk even further. Like glass, they shattered even more as tsunami tides came pouring onto her face. Once again, she crumpled to the ground, lying against Twilight’s legs.
Starlight pleaded, “Please, say something…”
Her vision lingered over to the mourning mare. She ogled at Starlight. She had every reason in the world to hate her for what she did: she told her this was the future, but she didn’t believe her. She told her that she was being honest, but she didn’t believe her. Her negligence was the reason Equestria was in such a disdainful state. It was all her.
She took everything away from her: her books, her castle, her crown, her mother and father, her brother, her teacher and her friends. She took away her worth. She took away her meaning. She took away life. She was stuck living when she wasn’t alive. All the pain, the mental trauma, the heartache, and the inconceivable thoughts that nopony should ever have to encounter were hers.
She should hate her, hate her with all her might, all her will, all she had--but she didn’t. She was too tired. She was drained; she didn’t have it in her to show such emotion, or any emotion for that matter.
Starlight said, “Fine…If you don’t want to speak with me. I understand.”
Twilight looked at the pitiful mare. With a impassive tone she said, “It’s real.”
Starlight whimpered and wiped tears from her eyes. She tried to steady her breath, and clear her throat. It hurt badly, because of all the shouting and aridity. Her throat was coated in a thin layer of ash, causing her to cough and wheeze like an elder pony who took a smoke twice everyday.
She sucked in tears momentarily to speak, “I know…”
She barely managed to keep herself from crying. It was quiet, and all they could hear was the powerful winds off in the distance, whisking away, howling like a wounded timberwolf.
Her eyes lingered nonchalantly, arriving at Twilight’s cold, rock-like face. A shimmering tear formed in Starlight’s eye, and she curled her lip. “I’m sorry…” She said.
Twilight heard her, but stood still. Her whole world stood still, as if time had ceased to exist. No going forwards, no going backwards, just the present. Her mind went numb as she bit her down on her lip hard, drawing speckles of blood...She sighed and said, “Don’t be…”
Starlight could sense something off about the young alicorn. In dire times she never quit, never surrendered and always found a way out even if there was none. She’d either make one or wouldn’t stop until she was dead. But the mare that stood before her wasn’t the resilient fighter she’d seen. She didn’t know who she was. From all of her studies of Twilight, from all she’d witnessed her do, she couldn’t fathom her quitting.
They’d only been stuck here for five minutes, and she hadn’t even moved an inch. “This isn’t like you…” Starlight said, “I know you; I’ve seen you. I’ve read about you; I know about your triumphs, your victories. I’ve seen your track record; I’ve memorized it, how can you quit now?”
Twilight stood unmoved, regardless of Starlight being right. She had never abandoned hope, never. Yet, she remained.
Starlight couldn’t believe it. Chance or no chance, Celestia’s pupil, the Princess of Friendship, and the strongest pony she’d ever met wasn’t even going to try. Starlight began to weep again. Her blurry vision was directed at Twilight as she wailed, “Can’t you at least try?”
Twilight twitched, the first movement she’d made the whole time. Her soft voice rung in Starlight’s ears as she said: “No.”
Starlight asked with a slur, “Why not?”
Twilight leaned her head down and put her hoof on Starlight’s shoulder. Starlight looked into her darkened, apathetic eyes and trembled as she spoke faintly, “Because...It hurts...To know no matter how good you are, what spell you can cast, and how hard you try…It’ll never...be enough…”
Author's Note
Well, I felt inspired to write this after the new episode and the insanely recent passing of my Grandmother.
Thank Gala for editing, check out her underappreciated writing here
Leave a like, review, comment and whatnot. Love y'all, God Bless everyone.
