Chapters We all come screaming into this world, no matter what our race. Be it Pony, or Griffin, or otherwise. I had no idea what an impact I would be on the world, and yet, it seemed that my parents named me very wisely in spite of everything.
I used to think that they were sick, mad ponies. Soon though, I was about to be known even by the two sisters! The great Alicorns that we all perceive as gods in pony form! But before that, it's best that I talk about where I originate. As I said, we all scream in this world, but it's where we first start screaming that we call forever our home. Most of us are born in great cities, among the suburbs, but not me. I was born on a farm. It wasn't very big back then, only a few orchards and livestock. When I asked my parents about that day, they said "You were born in the farmhouse, with all your family present." Both of them smiled. "Your grandmother was the happiest out of all of us, making sure that we should be happy too!" To say the least, our family was big. "But where were they now?" I would ask, from time to time. Curiosity killed the cat, after all...
They would grow melancholy, only saying tidbits of information, like the odd cousin or two. Their main excuse was "They were... in a better place." I think that's one of the main reasons behind my choice today. Maybe I'll finally be able to greet them in the flesh after everything is said and done. The strangest part of my birth was that I wasn't the same as they were. I could still help and work on the farm, but because of my oddity, I wasn't able to do much without potentially blowing up a tree on the orchard.
It wasn't but 3 years after my birth did I begin school. Being raised on a farm, the only logical conclusion to my parents were to teach me at home, being as there were no other places nearby they could send me to. On one of their trips to a nearby settlement, my mother brought back some reading material and volunteered as the "Teacher". She wouldn't be one forever, but for the time being, she taught me the basic fundamentals of pony life. She began with the 3 ponies found on Equestria: The Earth, Unicorn and Pegasus ponies. Like any young one would do in school, I raised my hoof, eager to fill my head with knowledge. I asked what type the princesses were. She chuckled and said "Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are Alicorns!" She explained what Alicorns were after that, how they embodied attributes of all 3 types of ponies. My imagination got the better of me that day, and I made that childhood vow that I would be an Alicorn, just like them. That night, I pranced around in a silly costume, pretending to order around my parents as if they were my very own Royal Guard. I wasn't that wrong, for they guarded me just like any other parent would their young ones. My mother played along, though she needed to convince my father to participate. That whole day, I laughed with her, and went to bed happy and full of imagination.
She regarded life with such enthusiasm. Every day she would teach me, her smile shined like Celestia's sun, ever radiant and always showing the light.
...No matter how hard I try to picture her nowadays, I always just see a blur of her face. In this ripe old age of mine, I discovered that, given time, all memories eventually fuzz out of your mind. They die, just like I would. Emotion, however, never eluded me. Her warm smile and kind words were with me all my life, even when I began to get noticed by the two sisters.
Aside from the education and "book smarts" as my grandmother put it, I had a lot to learn from Father. He taught me "street smarts" that I would have to use, despite all the other knowledge I had gained through the textbooks and lessons taught from Mother. Sometimes when running to settlements to drop off crops from our farm, he would bring me along to "Show me how the world really works". I learned much from these small adventures, and when in a playful mood, I would pretend to battle dragons and rescue ponies in danger, all in the service of the Princesses on our way. He laughed and played along sometimes, but in general, he was a very serious stallion. "You can't always pretend things are different" he exclaimed one morning whilst I was "vaporizing evil parasprites" in the trees. In all honesty, I climbed those timber giants more than anything else he had me do on that day. Mostly I helped feed the animals and water the plants.
The family member I got along with the most was my grandmother. On those cherished Saturdays and Sundays away from the lessons and the work, I would be playing with her. I would play Hide-and-go-seek as well as other calm activities that wouldn't strain her body too much. She could hold her own when it came down to it, but she didn't have much energy left in her when I was born. It always gave about a sense of tranquility and peace to my young mind.
...I still remember the funeral for her. Friends of the family, and of her showed up, but instead of greeting myself, I just stood next to my parents, constantly keeping my eye on the wooden box her dead corpse was in, hoping to the heavens above that some miracle would happen in order to bring her back. My gaze never left sight of the coffin, but the most unsettling part of it was the cold emptiness my eyes gave off at the end, when I realized that she would never wake in this world again. It felt like my entire body just turned to stone. My parents were in no better condition either. My mother couldn't stop weeping, and my father just stared at the ground, the brim of his hat covering most of his facial features in a dark abyss of a shadow. I was 8 years old on that fateful day...
That night, I had a revelation. I would protect all I call home, no matter how old or frail it was. Life should be preserved, all forms, and in order to do that, I would have to go to the Castle of the Two sisters, just on the edge of the Everfree forest. I needed to learn so much more to protect those I loved. So, that night I packed a rucksack with all I needed to make my journey there. It included the texts from Mother, the earned allowance(50 Bits) from Father, and most important of all, Grandmother's walking cane. It was in her will, entrusting me to it only. The will said that her cane held a secret that was to be passed down to the worthy of the family. Both my parents seemed upset at it, their muzzles adorning a look of surprise when it was read aloud. I was there, upon request of the will and testament. In its entirety, it read:
To the respective family members know that this last Will and Testament of Grandmother(I never remembered her, or any of my family's names) will serve as official and legal documentation of heirlooms and royalties to be passed to respective beneficiaries:
I, Grandmother, do hereby give the life insurance funds saved to the head of the household, Father, to use to whatever needs the farmland should require. For mother, she is granted the enchanted sewing kit I have recieved so many moons ago by the sisters themselves when in servitude as their Royal Dress Designer, as well as the secret recipes and various drafting techniques kept in my lock-box hidden behind the bookshelf. The key is located in the book titled "Fate, and its Irony", a personal favorite. Finally, to the youngest of the house, do I bestow my most cherished possession: My walking cane. It has many uses, and many more secrets hidden behind its wooden exterior. May it help you later in life, as it did me. Do not lose it, as it is an heirloom and one-of-a-kind. It is said that it can only be used by those who are worthy...
The cane was very odd in shape- It was made of a wooden variety, but not like any associated within Equestria. There were no knots or splits, and it all looked like it flowed up until the knuckle of the cane, which was the only spot where the wood swirled.
I tied all I wanted to carry in a bundle right under the cane's knuckle, and scurried quietly down the steps, that is until I overheard Mother and Father arguing amongst each other.
"You can't take it from the child! It is the only sole thing the poor little one has left of Grandmother!"
"You know how much luck it poured into this family, Mother! When we started to lose our yield, do you remember what Grandmother did with that piece of wood?! She raised the crop anew! With buds already forming on some of the branches! We can use that to our advantage!" It was clear who the selfish one was.
"We have money, and plenty of it! That...THING sucked the life dry of her when the child was born! It would've been another one of countless numbers of stillbirths we have encountered, but she saved the baby's life! It is only fitting that the cane goes to the little one!"
It pained me to tears at this new realization. I was too young to understand what "Stillbirth" meant, but the tone Mother used made the whole thing sound like I was more of a burden than anything in their lives. I ran away from home still crying...
I trotted for the first few miles, still staining my coat with fresh, hot, tears. The next few, it was already approaching nighttime, and I was soon to be bathed in darkness. I stuck to the side roads, trying to avoid any large traffic. After all, seeing a little kid roaming the dirt roads raises suspicion. Despite my age, I learned much from Father when handling situations involving the outdoors. Sometimes, we would go on long hauls to major cities far away, my father hoping to attract the attention of anypony willing to hire a contract with him. We made a decent amount of earnings from the nearby settlements, but it gave little in the way of "Spoiling one's self". The wages earned would be used for the sole purpose of keeping the farm running. In my later years, I admired him for keeping a level head about it.
...I had almost broken down again, reaching the point where I considered sprinting back home to be in the loving embrace of my parents. My father's stubbornness never let me out of its grasp, however, so I wiped away my tears in a frenzied swipe, angry at the defiant drops of sorrow, and began to set up camp. I hadn't brought along a tent or any provisions that would provide comfort and ease on the road. My bedding was my mother's books, one opened to act as a makeshift pillow, a small bottle of Torchbugs to keep the darkness at bay, a blanket that everything was nestled in, and Grandmother's walking stick to keep me company. I never lost sight of that cane, even in my prime. Its mysteries and closeness to family it brought me was always the ever silent companion in my many travels.
...I want to be... buried with it. Please. I have no kin to share it with, and wish to keep it within my family, though I doubt that will happen. One day, you may find one just like myself, and on that day, tell that wonderful pony where I am buried. If there is no heir, I want somepony to pass it into their families. I want them to read this story as well. They need to know why I made my decisions- why I am leaving this world. I am a very old, and fragile, pony. My name shouldn't be in the records, at least, not how I was; I don't want them to know of my misdeeds, only to know that I was a great pony. I give my regards to the one reading this note. It might be centuries old, still preserved within my coffin, and yet, it should feel ancient upon first glance... It does to me...
I hadn't experienced many nightmares in my youth, but when I had, Mother was there to comfort me. She would curl up with me in my bed, and either read me a story or sing a lullaby to ease my passing into the dream world. Tonight, I would have neither. I awoke in a frenzy, sweat dripping off my coat as if it freshly rained. I was scared. More than that actually; I was terrified beyond belief. I shouted into the night for my mother, wishing I never had to make this perilous journey... But I couldn't risk it. No matter what, my objective was clear: Ask the Princesses for tutelage under their wings, no matter the cost. Reminding myself of what needed to be done, I shook the tears away from my young face, and pulled out a map of Equestria. Our farm was just on the outskirts of the Undiscovered West. Not many ponies would risk starting a farm out in this territory, and was widely considered Uncharted and Dangerous. We were mostly dependent on the scarce settlements that were between Los Pegasus and what is now known as the Smokey Mountains. We would trade every once in a while between those two heavily occupied areas, but none of the Nouveau Riche, and even the more established nobles and dignitaries would even give us a second glance.
They were the only source of business we could survive off of. The middle and lower classes at the time could barely afford ends meet, so it would be wrong to try to convince them of giving up a sum of their money. Father and Mother both despised the upper-class citizens of Equestria. They were "Too snobby" as it were. In my case, I adopted Grandmother's philosophy: They don't know unless you teach them. Once I was taken in by the two Princesses, I began to attract attention of the nobles, and that's when I began to use my grandmother's philosophy to better the upper echelons of society. They all wanted to "get in my good graces", which, in laments terms, just means buttering me up to get me on their side. Every time they tried, however, I shook my head. They were astounded that someone would reject their offers of money or more personal gifts, and every time, I offered the same bit of advice, hoping that my lesson I try to teach would stick to them like a strong glue, binding them to good morals for generations to come.
"Spend your time among those unfortunate to have luxury," I would tell them. "Then you will understand why such gifts dissuade me."
Most snorted in annoyance, and went about the same as usual, bribing some other official related to Celestia and Luna for a higher position in their deluded hierarchy.
I'm sorry, I seemed to have rambled on. My journey was halted this night for rest, and my stopping point in this hour was just before the fork in the main road, leading to the nearby established areas I described earlier. I marked how far away I was on the map, with a bit of crayon I brought along with me. Marking my progress... helped. It was a coping mechanism I suppose, to help rid me of a terrifying nightmare. Smiling after marking the distance I've made, terrifying nightmares haunted me no more, and was replaced with warm thoughts and imaginations that only a small child could have within their mind. I went to bed happy, even more determined than ever to make my way to the two ponies I would soon consider my closest friends...
It was barely dawn the next day when I awoke, and, regretfully, it wasn't of my body's choosing. It was shocked awake by a flurry of ponies screaming nearby on one of the main roads. At first, I thought it was another nightmare- ponies dying most painful and gruesome deaths by creatures only my terrified mind could conjure; But all the same, what I was hearing was a very real, and very dangerous, scenario. The sounds of agony, and the danger it foretold was, in fact, genuine. In my childlike mind, there was only one solution left: be the hero you always pretended to be. So, I charged towards the noise, abandoning all of my supplies, and even my grandmother's cane, all "for the good of ponykind". How wrong was I, to just think I could save the day, like anypony in the Royal Guard, prepared to fight... and die, for "Princess and Country". I didn't have their experience, or their loyalty. I wanted to fight to protect what I loved, not for two alicorns whom I only know because of Mother's lessons. I never met them, never saw accurate portraits. I only knew they raised the sun and moon, and were dedicated to serving the populace, or so I was led to believe.
As I sprinted towards danger, the yelling and screaming of terrified ponies grew louder and louder. This only raised questions in my mind, rather than red flags. What am I going to face? Have I read about it? Will they congratulate me afterwards? ...Will I die?
That last question made me slow down, for a minute and no longer, it felt like. I was just a small child; I had no strengths. I was charging into battle at the drop of a hat, and had no defense strategy planned, only one command for my body and mind: Save them, no matter the cost. That was it! Just save them, don't worry about anything else. They will mark down your name, even with this small event, and even if my heart ceased its lifelong beat. They will know I tried to protect those I cared about. I had no request for delusions of grandeur, or even medals to bear.
I wanted to protect. I needed to protect.
I left everything useful to this fight behind, not for lack of strategy, but for appraisal of protective skill. No trinkets or baubles would hinder my future reputation I was dead set on making for myself, however childish it may be. It made sense! Just protect, no heroism. I wasn't craving the life of a hero during my imaginary battles on the farm, I was dreaming of being one who protects.
A Guardian...
It made sense now! I wish to guard those in need. As a small child, this is what I desired, what I craved from life's juicy nectar. Be a guardian, protect those worth it. I sped up my heroic charge, only to come one step closer in realization of Life's true nature...
A few minutes later, I witnessed my first bout of carnage in reality- a Manticore attack on a traveling caravan. There were only two attackers- a male and female, respectively. Their den was ambushed by scavengers from the party, not realizing it was from a highly territorial species of animal. According to one of Mother's textbooks, the Manticore is normally neutral outside its territory, but anything that stepped within its bounds was fair game. Their only weakness was their behavior when injured. If you manage to heal the wounded Manticore carefully whilst respecting its nature, supposedly, it will consider it a "Life Debt" and will remain neutral until either it saves your life as equal payment for your heroism, or you release it from its service. Many old tales talk of a young bard, who saved a Manticore from dying (the tales all differed on how this was done. Some say it was saved from freezing during a hard winter, while others say the bard bandaged an otherwise fatal wound), and they later became great allies. Later in life, I would learn the significance of this old mare's tale, as well as several others that would help kick-start a lifelong pursuit to study something very strange found in this world.
...My work isn't complete yet. There are many questions left unanswered to the nature behind this elusive abnormality in the world. I will not know what comes of my research, but hopefully, desperately, The Princesses will find one who can unlock its mysteries. That is the only true regret I will have after committing what I am about to do...
Moving onto the attack, what I witnessed was pure carnage- everypony within sight of the two creatures were instantly and easily ripped asunder. I couldn't handle it at that young of an age. Entrails were ripped from the stomach. Heads were severed. Limbs scattered, ponies eaten alive, mass death. I vomited everything I ate, and then some. I cowered in fear at the sight of real carnage, all whilst my mind was thinking that it should have been different. Deep down, somewhere at the pit of my gut, I knew better, but I couldn't help but think that real life should have still been censored from me, just as my parents tried to do back on the farm. Make life nicer looking, and it isn't so hard to bear.
I couldn't stomach it. The violence, the senseless death. It made me physically spasm before emptying the contents of last night's meal onto the already blood soaked grass and dirt. What follows in the next part of my note is... Is all I could think of the scenes thrown before me:
Why? (Another dead body thrown asunder)
Why them? (One tried to put up one last fight, before the Manticore couple ripped him in half)
They didn't deserve this!
An endless cycle of death. Look at them, and you're dead! Try to reason, and you're dead! Nothing but death!
(After that thought, all I remember is an intense pain, and then a sheet of darkness cast about my eyes...)
......Even to this day, I cannot remember what happened next. There was death, screaming... And then silence. I had no inkling or clue of what occurred. A fuzziness clouded my mind after I recovered. I looked around me, and was in the middle of a road. I didn't recognize it, nor remember why I was on a road in the first place. In fact, I couldn't remember who I was, or where I came from... All I knew was I wanted to walk... East? I remember I had a camp nearby, maybe that will tell me more. From what it looked like, the camp was untouched, and everything was there, or so I thought. I had no memory of what should and shouldn't be there, only that it was provisions and not much else. I had a map, books from... someone, and a staff. Or was it a cane? Regardless, I had to set out East, towards the Everfree.
It was my fate to walk that way after all...