The Equestrian Honor Guard

by Honored Service

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Other, Romance, Original Character, Comedy
Length: 97486

A military college student is thrown into the land we all know and love.

A military college student named Johnson is thrown into Equestria during a routine training operation. He is a dedicated Brony, but must decide how to live in a world of peace and friendship when he is in training to be a solider.

Will he run to the town we all know who lives in.

Or run to the Princess to gain diplomatic immunity

or will he become a hero to stop an ancient evil that has returned to complete its unholy task.

Published 2012-06-07 07:34:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-03 20:12:14 UTC

The Crunch Time

The Crunch Time

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 2
By Honored Service

Patterson, Ryans, Jacobs and I moved up to the designated start position before the training drill would begin.

Looking over my shoulder at my fellow cadet recruits I asked, "What do you think Boomer is going to plan today?"

Ryans laughed adding, "Same thing as always man. He's just going to lay down as much fire on the front of the building until the judge says all the bad guys are dead, or it's more than likely that a few bad guys will sneak out of the back of the building while he is raping the front of it with fire."

Everyone was silent as we thought about another failed training exerciseby Boomer and the men he was in charge of, another great leadership exercise that had a very shitty leader.

An idea hit me while we were all grumbling and complaining about upperclassmen.

"Yo squad, I have an idea that will get this training op wrapped up in 10 seconds flat."

I know that is an overused brony term, but any brony would know it, and I still clung onto some hope that there was another brony in my class of freshmen.

"What's the idea Johnson?"

"What we goin' do?"

"Please tell me it involves actually doing something?"

Well it was worth a shot. I'll have to try again when some more freshmen were around.

"Ok so here's the deal," I grabbed a stick and made a crude drawling of the building and the surrounding woods we were currently in, "Now Boomer always just attacks the front right?"

All 3 heads nodded in unison confirming my good, no, brilliant idea.

"Then when the other squads start attacking the front, we could loop around the back and snatch the plans without the enemy noticing or get them all pinned down from behind."

"That's what she said"

"Shut it Jacobs. This is somewhat serious," I threw the drawing stick at him, "So what do you guys say? Sound like a plan?"

Ryans picked up his M249 and cocked it back, "Hell yeah, let's actually go do something in this useless training time."

"Ok Ryans and Jacobs, you two will stay outside behind the building and cover Patterson and myself while we breach the back of the building. If anyone besides myself or Patterson leaves, open up on them and keep them down. We can't have the plans leave the building."

Jacobs picked up his own gun and moved with Ryans to a spot farther away to give cover once we moved out and towards the rear of the building.

"Alright Patterson, I want you right behind me till we hit the wall, and then you kick that shit in, and I'll spray it clear if necessary."

He reached over and patted me on the back, "You know I got your back J. Now let's do this."

Looking over to Jacobs and Ryans I gave them a thumb up.

"Wait until we hear the front guys open fire and then we will move around-"

BANG BANG CHHHHHHHCHHHHHHHHH

Before I could finish, a massive volley of fire was heard to our left side.

I looked to my watch, 11:00 on the dot.

"Ok Ryans, prepare to cover us if needed."

"Will do Johnson!"

I looked behind me to Patterson, "Let's go Pat."

We dashed off out of the woods on a long beeline sprint to the rear of the building, that was being used by the enemy as their strong point. It was a good 50 yard dash from the tree line and we were pretty easy to spot, if the leader of the enemy troops had bothered to put a sentry on the rear point of entry.

In their defense, Boomer always attacked the front, but I wasn't Boomer.

We hit the back of the building without being noticed. I could still hear an ungodly amount of fire coming from the front of the building, Boomer must be doing his standard tactic; throw enough force into one side and it will break.

Patterson moved in front of me onto the other side of the door. We were across from each other waiting for my signal to breach and clear.

I gave a single nod to Patterson.

In what felt like slow motion, Patterson stepped back and planted a hard kick right to dead bolt of the door and the frame splintered and cracked throwing the door open. He stepped to the side and I maneuvered around him stepping into the dark building.

I swept left while Patterson swept the right side of the room.

"Are they really all in the front room?" Patterson whispered to me.

"Are they really all in the front room," I whispered back, trying not to squeal with excitement, "and did they really leave the plans right here unguarded?"

Right in front of us was a steel brief case with US Army stamped on the front. I moved to it and slowly opening it saw that inside were fake plans for a base to be built on, 'your mothers pussy'.

"How appropriate Captain Rogers."

"Patterson, take this bad boy back to the judge on our side." I handed him the briefcase and moved to the door, my rifle still at the ready.

"Wait, Johnson what are you doing?" Patterson stopped right outside of the door frame. "Not to be cliché or anything but I'm not leaving you behind."

"I appreciate that you care Pat, but someone does have to stay and cover your ass out of here. Now get moving or we won't win this pointless exercise."

Patterson gave a quick wave and sprinted back towards the tree line to return the briefcase to the judge to signal our side winning the War Game.

I moved to the door way leading deeper into the building because I was bored as hell. And getting to pop a cap in some bitches would be a fun way to end the training exercise. I moved into another empty room, but the gunfire from the blanks was definitely a lot louder now.

I looked down at my watch, 11:06. Almost time for my daily ritual.

I slowly leaned my head into the next room and jerked it back immediacy. Behind door number 3 was a room full of my fellow classmates dubbed enemies. They were all facing the windows looking out to the tree line were, even from this far away, you could see the muzzle flashes from my allies' rifles.

I checked my mag, 30 plus one in the chamber, I know they were just blanks but this useless training we all took as a joke was really good practice for what most of us would be going through once we left the corps of cadets and entered the military.

I slowly brought my rifle to my shoulder and took a deep breath, carefully creeping around the corner I aimed down the sights. I lined up the shot on the crouched enemy the farthest away from me. I clicked off the safety and gently lowered my finger onto the trigger.

The time was 11:09

More Thanks to Slip Kid for using his magic of editing.

The Big Bang

The Big Bang

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 3
By Honored Service

I slowly squeezed the trigger of my rifle, preparing myself for the light kick that would follow.

Bang

After the first shot, I unloaded what felt like half the magazine of blanks into the room sweeping it left to right. Then I ducked behind the door way waiting to see what would happen.

"What the fuck was that! Who the fuck did I assign to guard the back door?!"

From where I was resting, I could feel the anger radiating off of the upperclassman. He was truly pissed that he had just got pinned from behind.

"Well Captain, that well placed flanking fire killed these four men and wounded these three. Please have six of your unharmed men take them to the designated feild hospital area. You four KIAs lie down and rest or something."

The judge for the enemy team was being pretty fair I guess. Even though I should have gotten at least six kills.

Six fellow freshmen walked next to me and out of the building offering me whispers of good job for showing up the upperclassman and getting them out of he training excersise. The three guys being carried out as wounded men thanked me even more for being a bad shot.

I stepped around the corner and asked the judge if I was killed or wounded.

"What," He laughed and then put a hand on my shoulder, "Kid, no one returned fire to kill you or wound you, you're still in this. Get back behind that wall before I start the op again."

I quickly ran back behind the same wall I had just fired from.

Well fuck. Now everyone knows I'm here, and I can think of one junior's gun that isn't loaded with blanks; but with rubber dummy rounds, and at the range I would be shot with, they could be potentially lethal.

Double fuckity fuck fuck

"Please continue." I heard the judge say, oblivious to the immense amount of pain I was about to be in.

I looked at my watch, 11:11

I wish I could live in Equestria. I don't care what part of it, just send me to Equestria. Please God, Allah, Buddha, Vishnu, who ever is In charge of this sort of thing.

With that daily ritual completed I was ready to focus o n the matter at hand... which happened to be a silver cylindrical shaped object rolling through the door and coming to a rest next to my boot.

Triple fuckity fuck fuck

•••

"Here's a little surprise for you, ya freshman pile of shit." The very agitated junior pulled the flash bang grenade out of his back pouch and pulled the pin on the blinding device.

"Sir I thought those weren't allowed anymore, you know, after the last time sir." Butterscotch (his real name was Timothy) was a very quite freshman. Seniors often overlooked him because of this trait. Of all the times he needed to yell, this was the most important, but then everyone would look at him... including the junior who was about to use a flash bang that was defiantly not allowed to be equipped on training ops. Better to just stay quite was Timothy's conclusion.
Avoid all the attention.

The judge turned around just in time to watch the grenade arch its way into the room the freshman had ducked into.

"What the fuck do you thing you're do---

CRACK BANG

••••

All I could do was stare at the small object. I thought those weren't allowed anymore... Oh goddamnit

I looked at my watch, still 11:11.

CRACK BANG

••••

The Location Shift

The Location Shift

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 4
By Honored Service

"This shit for brains used a flash bang during the training op. I am recommending harsh punishment if not immediate tours around the field. At least 50."

"Thank you Mr. Allan. I'll make note of your recommendations for this cadet's punishment. How's the victim doing?"

This was a worst case scenario that the Army ROTC Captain was dealing with. One cadet messing up another cadet; and the victim actually had a bright future in the Officer training program.

The judge shifted uncomfortably where he was standing in front of the long wooden desk. He scratched the top of his balding head trying to come up with his next statement.

"Sir, we couldn't find him."

"WHAT?!" The Captain pounded his fists on the desk causing a stack of papers to cascade onto the floor. "Where did Johnson go? He would be blind for Christ sakes; at least for a few minutes. He couldn't have wandered off into the woods with everyone right there."

Captain Rogers had been in action. A lot of action. He knew what flash bangs could do; blind someone but they should have fallen down in shock, not run off into the woods surrounding the building.

"Ok so he's missing, is that what you're telling me?"

Mr. Allan moved closer to the desk to try and offer some support to the Captain. Johnson had had a promising outlook in the Army, he was a good leader, everyone enjoyed him, he could keep moral up, and we was brave when it truly counted.

"He just couldn't have vanished Rogers. He is just out there in the woods, a little dazed and shook up from the flash bang. That's all. He'll navigate his way back in no time at all."

"I hope so Allan. You know what happens to a cadet that isn't back by 12:00pm. Expulsion."

••••

To a degree Allan was right. Johnson had ended up in some woods. But he hadn't wandered into them; he more off fell into them. And the woods certainly where not the woods near the training grounds.

"HOLY SHIT THAT'S BRIGHT MOTHER FUck...." I slowly turned around in a circle observing my surroundings. I was not in the asbestos infected building I had just been in. I was in some woods, but not the woods I had just walked through with my training squad.

This wooded area was dark. And gloomy. And really fucking creep and or scary. I could feel the dark, dank feeling of the forest just creeping into bones. It sent a shiver through my spine and cut into my soul.

"Fuck this place." I began to move off in a direction. I just wanted to get out of here. Or at least get moving and stay moving.

"Just keep your cool Johnson. Remember if they can make it through this, so can you, and I'm a killer... In training. A solider, you can make it through this."

My little pep talk made me feel just a bit better. If the Mane 6 could do it, so could I.

I was defiantly in the Everfree forest. Anyone who had seen they pilot could tell by the gloomy shadows and the sinister trees.

But if I was in the Everfree forest then...

"OH MY GOD IM IN EQUESTRIA!"

At the thought of that I collapsed against a tree to think. If I'm in Equestria, how could this play out. I needed to think this through and plan accordingly.

I reached into my inside chest rig pocket and pulled out the ops manual that Ryans had given to me. Removing a small golf pencil I made a list of possibilities on a blank page.

Things to Do... Carefully
• Go to Ponyville- meet Mane 6. Let adventures ensue.
• Go to Canterlot- cause chaos and declare myself the new lord of chaos...No just no- Try to meet the Princesses and find a way home. Possible, if i wasn't a six foot tall human.
• Camp out in the Everfree and observe the ponies and determine further action.

With my list made, I picked myself up from the tree and moved out to establish a camp for the night. Assuming that my watch was right and night and day followed the same time frame as it did on Earth.
The sun (when I could see through the canopy) looked to be nearly overhead.

The time was 11:50.

The Backpack Inventory

The Backpack Inventory

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 5
By Honored Service

I slowed my jog to a brisk walk as I moved through the dark foliage of the Everfree forest. 15 minutes of traveling and i was covered in sweat, dirt, leaves, and other bits of the damn forest.

"I need to find a path or something. Playing jungle explorer is hell here. Actually I would imagine playing jungle explorer would be hell on earth too." I pushed another arm thick vine out of the way onto to be semi choked by another one right behind it.
"Uggghghhhhh."

Stopping for a brief moment I pulled out my canteen and took a pull from it, thankful for whatever had put me in this new world had been merciful enough to leave with all of my things.

It was actually time to make sure that was true. I pulled of my backpack and sat in down in front of me.

"Time to take inventory." flipping open the top flap I began emptying everything out onto the forest floor in front of me.

"Ok what do I have...
4 standard issued MREs, of the rice and tuna variety. My least favorite. Fuck me.
3 Nonstandard Pop tarts of the brown sugar cinnamon variety. My favorite.
1 canteen. Now half full thanks to that thing called thirst.
1 flashlight with 4 different colored lenses. So fabulous
A compass. That at the moment was spinning very quickly and not pointing north. You had one job compass!
Binoculars with handy neck strap. Sweet
3 Emergency flares. Red color. Of the red variety
A bedroll. Not very comfy, more of a layer to put between me and the yucky ground.
An extra pair of military issued OD green socks. Because socks. That's why.
2 Smoke grenades. One red the other white. For when I decide to feel Smokey
1 First aid medical kit. Actually nothing to joke about, this one is pretty important.
7 and half magazines of 5.56 blanks = 225 blank rounds
5 clips of 9mm blanks = 75 blank rounds
My beautiful M16A2 with 3.4x zoom Ecotech hologram sight and a fore grip. To help be badass
My 92F Berretta with the name Spike scratched into the barrel, because it was my number one assistant.
My combat clothes. A tactical vest with 6 pouches for ammo and other necessities.
Digital camouflage uniform under the combat vest
Tan combat boots
And the last item under inventory. A knife. A bad knife. I named her Bad Bertha.

I made her myself. After senior year at high school (4 years of doodling well spent) I paid for a forging class were I designed and forged my own knife. A graduation present if you will. Showing how I was ready to take my future and CARVE my own fate. Get it... Like with a knife... Fuck you that was funny
Bad Bertha (BB) was 10 inches of cold steel. Serrated on one side. Nice and sharp on the other. The handle was black, with an easy to grip rubber coating. And while crafting it my imagination ran a tad bit wild. The handle itself was hallow, but with a quick twist and pull, a small 5 inch spike blade would come out. I did this so I could stab with BB and the rip out the steel spike to deliver the final blow in a close range battle.

I’m Sick, I know. But listen fighting was something I was good at. And I was doing it as job on Earth. Or at least I was training to.

Ok so that's all I have to my name in this new world. Not really screaming love and tolerance, but I was in the middle of the freaking Everfree forest. Kinda hard to tolerate manticore, timber wolves, and whatever else that lurked in the death trap.

Putting everything back neatly into the pack and strapping the knife onto my belt next to the holster, I stood up and began to plot my next course of action.

"Let’s see, assuming that the tv show was right, I need to find a landmark of some kind. Every HIE fanfic I read had something to do with that long named castle in the middle of the forest. The castle of the alicorn sisters... Nope fuck that to long. I like the Castle. Boom. But Johnson what about the castle in Canterlot? Isn't that the castle? No STFU, that will be called the... The Modern Day Castle of the Regal Alicorn Sisters. Boom problem solved. TMDCRAS for short.

The only other thing in the forest that the show had shown was Zecora's hut. And her home was on a path from Ponyville.

"That's it! I need to find that path. At least then I would have some bearings out here in the forest." I looked around hoping that I would step right onto it and have completed today's mission.

But with no such luck, I was met with only more damn dreary forest.

"Ok. So that is first objective. Find the path. Second objective, find a clearing or cave or some kind of area I can use to establish a base camp." I thought about the cave Spike has ran into that had an angry dragon in it. I could take a dragon.

"Yo what up dragon? Oh this is your cave? That's nice, how about some FUS RO DAH all over your face?"

Ok so maybe I would do that if I had some actual bullets. That's objective three. Now with three things I needed to do, I pulled out my ops manual and started a new list next to the list of options I made earlier.

Mission Objectives
1st objective- find path that leads to Ponyville.
2nd objective- find a base camp (not a dragon filled cave until 3rd objective is complete)
3rd objective- make blanks into bullets. Find some kind of metal substance and make some bullets. FSU (fuck shit up)

I looked at my watch, 1:30. It was going to be a long day.

i know that this wasn't the most eventful chapter, but i wanted to establish what Johnson had with him in Equestria. Now you know, so when he pulls out some poptars for a snack you don't think he just pulled them out of his ass.) Enjoy. more chapters to come. I right these chapters at work before people show up at the pool i lifeguard at. Just so ya know. interesting fact

The Working Trial

The Working Trial

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 7
By Honored Service

“Awwwwwwwwwwwwww.” I sat up from my bedroll and cracked my back while stretching to the sky. I looked and saw the fire was beginning to die out. I hurriedly ran to the edge of the forest and collected a few more branches and laid them down on the hot bed of coals. Soon enough I had a cozy little fire to eat my breakfast next to.

“Ok what’s on the menu this morning,” I reached over and grabbed my pack back and began to open it, “Show me waffles!” No waffles were shown. I had the options of my last pack of pop tarts or a delicious MRE. Now I noticed that I was actually beginning to run low on sustenance. Two MREs left and the pop tarts.

I scooped up the pop tarts and ripped open the package and ate the two delicious brown sugar bastards in what felt like seconds.

“Well shit, now I’m all out of breakfast food.” I sat up and brushed off some crumbs and stretched again. The sun was just beginning to crest on the horizon covering the landscape in a warm glow. I walked over to the river and plunged my face into the cold water to help wake up.

Only I open my eyes to see a large black pupil staring back at me.

“HOLY SHIT SNACKS!” I yanked my head back and fell backwards onto the river bank. My heart felt it was going to explode out of chest.

“You are sooooooo lucky I’m a vegetarian serpent or I could have just eaten you up! Nom nom nom Burp.” Reginald slowly brought himself out of the water and propped himself up on his elbows as he had done the previous day.

“Haha yeah you could have. God Reginald you gave me a heart attack. What were you doing anyway?” I picked myself off the ground and brushed the dirt of my uniform. Actually that dirt wasn’t coming off. Man I needed to wash this damn thing.

“Oh well I couldn’t just let you stay out here all night without some serpent to watch over you.” He flicked a rock into the river.

“The Everfree does have some non-vegetarian creatures in it, who would just love to try some Human. I hear it’s incredibly rare, only one in all of Equestria.

“Really? You would stay and help me even though I’m some unknown creature from another planet?” Either Reginald was being entirely to nice, or the show was right, everyone here is just trusting and nice to you. (Unless you’re a Zebra of course.)

“Well yes Johnson.” He bent down closer to me, “If you were some horrible creature from another planet that was here to cause destruction and death, would you really do it alone?”
He cocked and eyebrow at me waiting to hear what I was going to say to that.

I walked up to him and placed a finger on his scaly chest. “How do you know I’m not some immortal monster from another world able to send lighting out of my hands and rain fire and brimstone from the sky?”

“Hmmm I wouldn’t,” Reginald drummed a finger on the ground, “But would an immortal monster from another world that can shoot lightning from his hands and call down fire and brimstone from the heavens; run screaming from a mosquito?”

“Oh you say that, I mean I don’t know what you’re talking about Reginald.” I backed up just a tad from the 20 foot tall river monster.

“Of course you don’t immortal god.” He reached over and with one finger pushed me over onto the ground. “Haha although I’m sure you are positively terrifying thought.”

I picked myself up again, I was falling over way to much here in Equestria, “Listen Reginald, I need some help; something that you could possibly help me with?”

“And what else do you need Johnson?” He started playing with his hair and straightening his moustache.

“Well two things really. I’m running low on food and I need some metal to melt down and make into something that will make me able to protect myself here in the Everfree. Would you be able to help me with any of that?”

The purple serpent moved back into the water, so that only his head rested on the bank. “Well I know I can get you some metal things. Ponies will sometimes drop things into this river. I can look and see if any of that useless stuff is metal. As for food, I eat river weed and grass from the bottom of the river, would that work for you?”

I sat down and removed my digital camouflaged jacket and took off the patches on the chest and arm spots. I then began to wash it in the river. “The metal you’re talking about would be amazing. But the food, no. Any way you could get me fish? Or would you be totally against bringing me other river inhabitants?”

“Hmmmm I guess I could bring you a few fish.” Reginald raised himself out of the water and began moving downstream. “I’ll see what I can bring you back. Don’t run off anywhere…or get eaten. Tata Johnson, I’ll be back.” And with that, he slipped under the water and was gone.

Well now it was just me and my thoughts here in the camp. I finished washing the jacket; getting most of the stains out of it. I laid it on the bed roll next to the fire to help it dry faster. Next were the pants. Off came the pants and I began to scrub the stains out of those. The knees were the worst. I always seemed to crouch in mud or something when firing or more recently falling.

“Exxxxit light, enteeeer night,” I sang a jolly little tune to myself as I finished the pants and put them next to the jacket to dry. “Take my hannnnnnnd, where off to never never land.”

“Ok clothes are done; now let’s clean the rifle that doesn’t work yet.” Sitting down I pulled over my rifle and began to break down the weapon. Bolt, receiver, trigger mech, feeding system; shit dropped that pin where is it, fuck, ok here it. Whew that could have been bad.

With the rifle complete stripped I cleaned every little piece and part in it. Running through the forest and my constant failing had gotten it very dirty. Dirt and grime were in the ejection port and the receiver had bits of vines on it. Wiping everything clear, I began putting it back together, like a puzzle; a puzzle that can kill.
With a satisfying click, the rifle was complete once again. Checking my watch I noticed…

“WHAT? It’s only been 10 damn minutes!?” I almost hurled the rifle across the camp, but remembered I just cleaned it, and if it broke I would be losing my primary weapon.

“I guess Humans aren’t a very patient species?”

I whipped around to see Reginald behind me in the river holding some junk in one hand and dangling 3 fish in the other. He was giving me an amused smile.

“Oh hey there Reginald, I didn’t notice you over…um… yes Humans on a whole are not a very patient species. We are more of the nothing is fast enough kind of animals.”

He dropped the pile of junk on the bank of the river near me. I walked up to it and found some pieces I could melt down. There were parts of an oven and a refrigerator along with random bits of scrap metal. I could only use small pieces that would fit in the bowl so the larger stuff I made a separate pile out of for other uses later in my stay in the forest.

“Thanks Reginald! This is perfect!” I walked over to the fire and dropped a handful of nails, screws and other small bits of metal into the bowl. Now I just had to wait for them to melt down and I would be in business.

“And I brought you some fish. This was all I could actually find. So you may need to find another source of food. May I suggest a fruit tree or something plant like?”

“Yeah I guess I’ll have to get on that won’t I, Reginald?” I scooped up the fish I carried them over to the fire. I would have to cook them soon. Could you make fish jerky?

“Please call me Reggie, Johnson. No need for the whole name thing. We’re friends.” Reginal-Reggie moved back into the water sinking down a little bit into it. “Is Johnson your name?”

“Yes, it’s my last name. Where I come from, I was known by my last name. Well actually everyone is referred to by their last name were I came from. The military.”

“Ah yes you mentioned that yesterday. The army was it?” What is it exactly?” He perked up a bit in general interest at this.

“Well that’s what I’m in, the Army. It is a militarized force of soldiers, kind of like the Guards here in Equestrian. And I was an officer in training, until I was brought here.”

“And the last name?”

“The school I went to used the last name, as does the military on the whole to identify everyone. It created a professional atmosphere where it wasn’t friends, but fellow soldiers. You can know everyone by first name, but the last name is professional and creates a bond. So I was Johnson.”

“Your whole name? Reggie was very interested at getting to know me. And I was trying to be good friend to him. After all he had given me food, metal and his scales.

“My full name is-“

A bubbling sound came from behind me near the fire.

“What was that?” Reggie stretched his head up to see near the fire. I was also pretty curious to see how this metal melting was going to turn out, if I would be successful or not.

“This is the metal I’m melting down, so I can get my weapons to work and be effective as it’s supposed to be.” I looked down into the bowl and saw a glowing yellow liquid in it. It would bubble up occasionally. Looked pretty damn hot, I didn’t want any of it to end up on my arm. Or anything attached to me.

I picked up the 5.56 mold and dipped one in slowly into the bubbling concoction. I placed the top half of the mold back onto the other. I pushed it together and held it like that, I could feel the heat from the metal inside of the scales, but it wasn’t burning me. Good, trying to do this without using my hands would just be short of impossible.

We both waited for the metal to cool. Once the metal cooled I pried the mold open using BB. Inside of it, was a copper colored bullet that had a swirl of purple running along its length. Not sure why that was there, but it was a bullet with the correct shape and form of a bullet.

“All that work for this little thing?” Reggie backed up and moved into the river. “Seems like a waste of time for that.”

“I know it seems insignificant, but this bullet will make a huge impact when fired from this.” I picked up the rifle showing it to him. Taking one of the may blank rounds I had, I began to work the bullet into the end of it. I had already prepared this blank using my knife to open the firing end of the blank round. Then using two hard rocks I pressed the metal around the bullet, locking it into place creating my first bullet.

“HA it’s done, and it only took 16 hours to make.” I grabbed the rifle and opened the receiver and slid the one bullet into the chamber.

Now was the time to put all the work to the test. This would either fire and I would be a soldier armed and I would be able to protect myself. Or it could explode. Or destroy my rifle. Or it could do both, while harming me as well.

I shouldered the rifle and aimed down the sights at a tree cross the camp. I looked at Reggie, “Cover your ears, this may be loud.”

I closed my eyes and slowly squeezed the trigger.

Click-

BOOM

The gunshot was 5 times as loud as it should have been. Fuck was all I could think. The rifle had exploded in my hands. I cracked my eyes open to see the damage. The rifle was still clasped in my hands so tight my knuckles had turned white.

Reggie was still near me, and his jaw was hanging wide open.

“What? Was it that loud…” I turned and saw the tree I had fired at.

When a bullet of that size strikes a tree, it should go in and stop. No exit opening, it was just supposed be stopped by the density of the wood. But if that what was supposed to happen, why was I staring at a 3 foot hole in the tree. I looked at the rifle, it was fine. A small trial of smoke was still leaving the barrel. I did notice the shell lying next to me; it was glowing red with heat. That’s new.

“Um Reggie, are your scales magic?”

Honored Service here, I hope yall are enjoying this story, i'm enjoying writing it for yall. I Revived a message yesterday asking if i would post a picture of Bad Bertha. Would yall like to see her? Yes she is real.

The Second Encounter

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 8
By Honored Service

“And then the primer is struck causing the explosive to propel the bullet out of the gun through the barrel at an extremely high velocity.” I explained to Reggie as I pried another bullet from the mold. For the past 9 hours I had made 220 of the 224 bullets that I could make. Reggie had stayed around and just asked questions about Earth, Human culture and other small talk topics.

“So Humans themselves have no magic, but are incredibly advanced in mechanics and technology?” Reggie was very interested in the technology that we had Earth. Submarines were by far his favorite. I guess that because he spent the majority of his life in the water that would be his favorite topic.

“That’s…ugh…right Reggie.” I grunted as I pried apart the mold that held the last and final 5.56 round. Using the same rocks as I had for the last 223 bullets, I clamped the metal of the shell around the copper and purple sealing it shut. “There we are Reggie. That’s all of the bullets for the rifle. Now I can defend myself. And I dub these new magic bullets, Wonder Rounds©.

Reginald had explained that he was magic. But his magic was like earth pony magic. It wasn’t able to be seen directly, but it allowed him so survive under water for immense amounts of time without having to surface for air. His scales were also nearly impenetrable, “Just like a dragon’s,” he had explained, “But I at least have some class and sophistication.”

So I pieced two and two together. The metal I melted in the bowl made of his scales, absorbed the ability to be nearly unstoppable. Regular 5.56 bullets don’t leave that kind of exit pattern; let alone go through an entire tree.

I picked up the empty magazines and began to load them all with the new Wonder Rounds© and put the full mags into the pouches on my chest rig.

“Well Reggie, now I only have to do this 75 more times for the pistol rounds.” That surely wouldn't take as long, I had gotten the hang of this bullet making very quick and I had only cut my hand 5 times and pinched my fingers in between the rocks 4 times; pretty good for someone who only had a rough knowledge of bullet making. Thanks Uncle Leo. (You crazy redneck bastard.)

“Ah about that human… Since you now have some protection, I may head off and do my own serpent thing for a bit. Not that I haven’t enjoyed our time for conversation, it’s just getting late and I'm ever so tired.” Reggie stretched up and yawned, falling back into the river up to his nose.

I looked up from my 9mm mold and noticed the sun was almost completely set. The dark sky was creeping over the forest one again and I would have to brave the night once more. But this time… I had an old friend ready to go. She was clean and fed with new ammunition. The forest could throw whatever it wanted at me, and this time, I would be ready.

“Of course Reggie. Get out of here ya’ crazy river serpent thing. I do appreciate all the help you’ve given me, and you staying here all day keeping me company. Go do whatever you used to do, before an alien came an interrupted your life.” With that I waved good bye to my friend, that happened to be a giant purple river monster, and Reggie slipped into the water and was gone, swimming out of sight.

“I hope I haven’t been taking up too much of his time. I would hate to be a burden.” I grunted as I pulled open the 9mm mold. Inside was another copper and purple bullet. Now that I looked at it, I noticed something very strange. I mean the fact it was a magic bullet was pretty strange. But the other strange fact was that none of the metal I was using was copper. Why were the rounds coming out copper colored? Then again im asking this question and not how I ended up in Equestria; a land of colorful talking ponies that used magic… Screw it, they are now copper bullets. Fuck logic.

Alright it’s getting late. My watched beeped- 11:00. The sun was completely set and I noticed that the forest was dark. Very dark. And my fire was getting smaller. Wait what? Shit! I forgot to get more sticks for the fire. I know I have a rifle that works now, but I need light to see what I’m shooting at.

I scrambled up from the camp and with my rifle in hand I moved towards the tree line to find some more firewood. The woods nearest my camp had already been picked clean. I should have started to gather wood farther away as to avoid situations like this one.

Crack

“Fuck, Whos there?” I spun around to see nothing. “Just the shadows playing tricks. That’s all. Just find the wood. Get out. Find wood. Get out. Find wood…”

Crack

“Ok fuck this!” I ran back towards my humble little camp. From this distance I could just barely make out the dimming camp fire. And on the bed roll was the chest harness. “I’m putting that on asap!” The extra magazines and protection would make feel a lot safer in these woods.

RRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRR

I stopped dead in my tracks and slowly turned around. My heart was beating very fast after it had nearly stopped beating because of that sound. As I came to look behind me, I saw a huge ferocious beast. This time it wasn’t a mosquito. I was staring at a manticore; dark blood red mane, long powerful lion body, sharp deadly scorpion tail, and massive claws. And it had its eyes locked on me. It licked its chops at me. A large drop of drool rolled over its lips and landed on the ground.

Fuck.

“That’s a nice kitty. Good kitty. I’m just looking for some wood…no need to get violent or anything.” I was slowly backing up. I don’t know why I hadn’t shot the damn thing. I just couldn’t seem to raise my arms and shoulder my weapon. This manticore was at least 13 feet tall. And the whole claws and deadly tall thing was pretty intimidating.

It lifted one paw and took a step closer. It had this look of hunger in its eyes. And I was what it called for to fix that.

“Goddamn it.” I looked to my right, the dark and gloomy forest. I looked to my left, a wide deep river. Option 1 it is. I bolted to the right and into the forest, the horrid nightmarish monster giving chase. I was smaller and hoped that the big fur ball would get caught in between the trees or held up by the vines. I turned my head and say in horror that the trees were simply pushed aside and the vines broke like glass as the manticore followed its next meal deeper into the forest.

“Of course, I can’t get a fucking break.” I jumped a fallen tree like a hurdle. On the bright side I had a weapon this time. Two weapons really, Bad Bertha and the M16A2 now with kickass ammunition. I ran into a clearing and stopped. This was the same clearing that a day and half ago I had fallen into. I walked to the edge of the clearing and paused. I turned just as the monster manticore entered opposite of me. We stared each other down.

“If this is where I came into this world, this might as well be where I leave it if I have to.” All of a sudden I found that confidence I was lacking earlier. The rifle was shouldered and I took my firing stance. The manticore pawed the ground, ready to pounce forward at me.

Click, safety off – semi auto engaged.

I took a deep breath. The mythological beast hurled itself at me with amazing speed. I jumped out of the way landing on my side as the monster charged by me. I aimed down the sights as I lay on my side; lining up the shot. The beast turned around wondering where its prey and vanished to.

“I plan on staying here fuzzball.” I squeezed the trigger of the rifle.

BANG BANG BANG
Tink Tink Tink

The red hot shells landed on the ground next to me. Smoke curled out of the barrel and the ejection port. I stood up and kept the rifle at the ready as I approached the pile of fur and flesh that had attempted to make me its next meal. Two massive holes covered its side and one large hole and cleaned out half of its head. Bits of skull and grey matter were scattered everywhere behind the creature. Blood was pooling around the dead creature; shining in the moon light.

I slowly turned away from the beast. Many emotions were running through my mind. I had just killed an animal in Equestria. It was just trying to eat. Yeah, but it was trying to eat me. Only the strongest will survive. But you aren’t strong. You are just a human.

I looked down at the rifle in my hands. This weapon was dangerous without magic bullets. Now with Wonder Rounds©, it was nearly unstoppable. That manticore was huge and I had just scattered its brains across the clearing in seconds.

“I will only use my weapons for self-defense or protection of sentient life here in this world. And if anyone tries to take this weapon, ill disable it some way so they can’t use it.” I was going to have take some piece of the weapon off of it whenever I wasn’t using it, to insure that it couldn’t function unless I was the one using it. Same thing for the pistol. Which means that BB needs upgrading, in case I can’t get the weapons working in time.

“Now I just need to find my way back to the camp. GODDAMNIT” I hollered at the canopy of the forest. I was lost in the forest and had 27 bullets left and a knife and no food of any type. “Why does nothing ever seem to work in my favo-ahhh”

I tripped over a root and fell down a hill. Rolling end of end I landed flat on my face at the bottom of the hill. “Oh for the love of Pete.” I pushed myself up and picked myself out of the field of blue flowers I had landed in. These flowers looked familiar; light blue petals with dark blue inside designs…oh fuck me sideways.

I stumbled through the Everfree just trying to find the river I had made camp next to. If I could find the river, I could follow it back to the camp, if I didn’t end up going the wrong direction. No, happy thought, happy thoughts, everything is going to be alright. I survived a manticore attack and so far the poison joke had done nothing to me.

“I think.” Nope same voice. Ok so nothing different here. I grabbed my crotch, “Yup, Johnson’s Johnson is still intact,” I continued plodding through the forest trying not to panic about losing my way to my home camp.

My watched beeped- 6 am. A low glow was cresting the top of the forest. Wait I could see the sun, I must be getting out of the dense forest. And with that thought I burst out of the Everfree and onto the clear stretch of land running next to the river.

“And now to find my camp,” I came face to face with my wonderful bedroll and the fire bit without a fire, “What is this, something actually went right!” I collapsed on the bed roll next to the chest rig and closed my eyes. Oh I’m going to sleep so well. This nap is going to make Rainbow Dash proud. I remembered the fire was out and saw that the metal that I needed more the 9mm bullets had solidified in the bowl. But it wasn’t copper and purple; it was silver and red. Fuck logic once again.

“I’ll worry about it after this nap.” The sun rose over the horizon as I was settling down for another nap. All of a sudden I was blinded by a bright light, I tried to shield my eyes from the light, but when I moved my hands, the bright light would continue to blind me. Squinting my eyes, I tried to find the source of this damn light. I looked down, and noticed that my hands were sparkling. I ripped off my jacket and under shirt and my entire chest was sparkling like it was covered in glitter.

“FUCK SPARKLEY VAMPIRES!” I fell back onto my bedroll and just went to sleep. The last thing I herd before unconscious sleep took hold of me was Reggie saying,

“Oh looks who’s back, and look at how pretty you are!”

Really? Fuck me. Fuck the Everfree. Fuck poison joke. And FUCK SPARKLEY VAMPIRES.

as always, any corrections, drop them in the comments or a message. Peace ya'll i got some BF3 to go play.

The Stalker Games

The Stalker Games

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 9
By Honored Service

"Ughhh." My entire body was sore from the run through the jungle while being chased by the now dead manticore. I woke up from my nap to see the sun at the highest point in the sky.

The beeping from my watch confirmed the time; 1:00. The previous night's activities were still fresh in my head as I sat up from the bedroll; rubbing the sleep from my eyes.

"Alright let's finish making some bullets. I had one bullet made for the 9mm and that one was copper and purple, while the metal to craft my bullets from had now harden into a silver and red combination. I started the fire up again and waited for the metal to liquefy again.

"Well, well, well, look who is up. You were out like a light. And still just as sparkly. Is this some type of human mating ritual to attract a mate?" Reggie was lying on the bank of the river with a reflector sheet and sunglasses and was apparently sunning himself.

"No Reggie, I fell into a patch of poison joke and this is the result. I sparkle like a diamond in the sunlight." I kept my hands ticked at my side to avoid the blinding light show that would result from bringing them out into the daylight.

"You know Johnson, for an alien from a different world, you sure do know a lot about the landscape and this world in general." He lifted his sunglasses and narrowed his eyes at me.

"Umm well about that." Oh god. I had thought about explaining this multiple times, but now that I actually had to do it I was drawing a blank.

"Well human? How do you?" Reggie was slowly starting to rise. His usual happy demeanor was gone. He was scary serious and at his full height, he was pretty intimidating. I know my rifle with Wonder rounds would give him a run for his money, but I know if I could kill a friend like Reggie.

"Ok Reggie, I'll tell you but you have to hear me out all the way." He crossed his arms and nodded, but didn't let up his death stare. "The world I came from knew about this world. But not many details. In my world, this world is fiction. Made up. A fantasy world. This land of Equestria is the setting for a TV show called 'My Little Pony'. That's how I know about certain things, broad general things, but really I know little about the culture beside friendship and peace." Whew. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I waited for Reggie's answer. Hopefully I wouldn't have to run from a huge purple river monster.

"My Little Pony? That sounds girly, like something for a little filly." Just like that, Reggie was back to normal.

"Wait, out of everything I said, that's what draws your attention? Everything else is just whatever?"

Reggie just nodded and said, "Yup, and I think that's just fabulous. And your sparkles compliment it quite well."

"Oh shut up!" I yelled throwing a rock at him. But in doing so, I was blinded by my shiny hands and caused me to fall forward onto my face.

"Hahaha!" Reggie fell into the water laughing so hard and slipped under the water where bubbles rose to surface and popped carrying out the laughter above the surface of the water.

Pop

"Ha"

Pop

"Ha"

Pop

"Ha"

I ignored the giggling river creature and went back to the bubbling liquid metal. I began to press the new 9mm rounds. After a couple bullets I was in crafting mode, functioning on auto pilot. I was a bullet making machine.

I dropped some more wood onto the fire. (I now had a stack of wood near the camp. Learned that lesson the hard way) I was preparing to mold another 9mm, but realized I was out of shells to pack the bullet into. I had crafted all 74 pistol rounds in an afternoon. This calls for a celebration; a loud one.

I knew what the copper and purple bullets did, but what about these new silver and red pistol rounds. I picked up the Berretta with Spike scratched into the slide and slid one of the new bullets into the chamber.

"Ok here we go... show me mini nuke bullets!"

I gripped the pistol in one hand and steadied it with the other. Aiming at another tree across the camp I clicked off the safety.

"Please don't explode in my hands."

I squeezed the trigger and felt the pistol jump on my hands. Then I heard the gunshot.

BOOM

A glowing, red hot casing fell to the ground with a soft thump. The Berretta was smoking in my hands as I looked at the tree I had fired at. No massive gaping hole in this one. I moved to the tree to inspect the damage this Wonder Round© would deliver.

Ok this was new. Well I mean everything was new but this was cool. These new silver and red rounds broke apart in flight to the target. I think. I was staring at 5 holes scattered throughout the trunk of the tree. This pistol had now just became a hand shotgun. Sweet.

So I now had exploding rounds for my rifle and 5 shot pistol rounds. Now what to do to BB...

There was just a small amount of liquid metal in the bowl left. Just enough for one more bullet; or enough to coat the sharp end of my knife. Using a flat rock, I smoothed on some of the liquefied magic onto the blade. Then I let it harden for a minute and while it was still somewhat malleable, I sharpened it using my grinding stone. Once this baby was sharp I left it alone to finish drying undisturbed.

I began cleaning up the mess I had created while making all these new bullets. I clean camp is a happy camp. The only problem was that now it was late in the day and the sun was nice and high in sky, causing me to light up like a Christmas tree. I kept blinding myself with my hands.

"Ok this shit has to end. Look out Reggie, I'm coming in!" I one swift motion I ran towards the river while stripping off my jacket, pants, boots, and under clothes. I jumped high and cannonballed into the river. Under the water I scrubbed at my arms and chest just trying to remove the poison joke. All the ponies did was take a bath, right? So in theory I was taking a simple bath that would wash it off.

Coming up for air I swam back the bank of the river and climbed up onto the shore; and was immediately blinded by light coming off my hands and arms. And feet. And legs. And chest. And fucking everything.

"What the hell?" I spoon around causing the camp to look like a disco ball was spinning. "That should have worked. All they did was take a bath that Zecora had made for them... Aw shit."

Pulling out my slightly tattered ops manual from my training exercise , I started a new mission.

Stop fucking sparkling.

Ok seemed simple enough. Find Zecora's hut. Convince her that I'm not an evil space alien. Obtain ingredients for her herbal bath to cure the poison joke side effects. See simple.

I was so fucked.

I had decided not to venture out into the forest that late in the afternoon. So I had a dinner of my last MRE and slept for a wonderful 9 whole hours. Something that was unheard of at the military college. This morning after waking up, I packed up most of my things from the camp and suited up like I was going to war. Which I kind of was. Which brings us to now.

I was staring at the depths of the Everfree forest. Now I had been in there before, but only because I was running for my life; not because I willingly wanted to wander through that hell hole. I checked my rifle again, 27 rounds in the clip (same one from the manticore encounter). Spike was full of new shotgun bullets (which would back a massive punch at close range). Bad Bertha was as sharp as ever with the new blade. The edge of the blade was now red and silver from the added metal. I hadn't used it yet; but a knife is a knife, right?

I took my first step into the forest and shuddered as the shadow of canopy came over me. I moved into the foliage in search of a certain hut that was home to a certain zebra.

"So I'm an alien from another planet. But don't worry I'm alone, and I'm totally not dangerous to ponies. Or zebras. I just need a poison joke cure. Oh I know that because your world is a fake story on my planet." Hmmmm something about that just didn't seem quite right. Maybe I should just take one step at a time. It worked out with Reggie easily enough.

I maneuvered around another fallen tree. I had no clue where I was going. I should have fallowed the river towards Ponyville and the crept around the edge of the town till I hit the path that lead through the Everfree, but I just didn't want risk being seen before I was ready. Like have a story made up as to why I was here and such.

I was about to step out of a bush when I heard something move close by. Shit!

I ducked down to the ground. Hugging the earth, I slowly crawled forward to observe what was making the noise.

"Carefully there Applebloom, don't go taking off with a zoom." No fucking way. Was my luck changing? Did I happen to just wander in to Zecora and apparently Applebloom too? My favorite character's sister?

In the most adorable southern accent I have ever heard, and growing up in South Carolina I have heard a lot, Applebloom responded, "Come on Zecora, ah want to see the Heart's Desire flower field. Why ah bet it's the most prettiest thing ever!"

"You are quite right little one," the rhyming zebra spoke back; "It is especially gorgeous under the sun."

I wonder how hard it is to always rhyme. I could try doing it for a day... Nah I was bad at poetry. Roses are red, violets are blue. This poem doesn't rhyme, fuck you. Wait, damn it.

The pony and zebra moved off to the right moving down a skinny worn path through the forest. Slowly, I crept along behind them; making sure to stay out of sight but not lose the pair from my field of vision. This continued for what felt like hours, my watch told me it was 1 in the afternoon. Yup, hours of playing stalker. I hope they didn't find me, this would be rather awkward to explain.

They stopped on the edge of clearing. From this far away it was hard to make out what they were saying. Applebloom was bouncing up and down pointing at the field of flowers. It was a very pretty sight indeed. The wind rolled over the clearing causing the flowers to bend and move like waves on the ocean. An ocean of pink and white flowers. Even from this distance, I could smell the wonderful fragrance that the flowers created. Strawberries with a hint of... Mangos? No peaches? Some type of sweet fruit.

I watched safely hidden from view as Zecora picked a few flowers and Applebloom walked around through the flowers. I figured they would return to Zecora's hut to drop off the flowers she just picked. I would fallow them back to the hut and wait to make myself known to Zecora.

But with how everything has gone for me so far, I doubt it will go that smoothly. I pulled out my canteen and took a long pull of cool water from it. Half full, I would have to find more water soon. I hope that wouldn't be too hard. Shit just jinxed myself.

I looked back to the field to see Zecora and Applebloom heading my direction on the path. I scooted back under some heavy brush and waited for them to pass my position, so I could follow them.

"What kinda potion are ya gonna whip up today Ms. Zecora?" I could see the little filly's hooves skip along the path as they passed by my hiding spot.

"Today we are creating a magical brew, to help the Cake foals chew. They are beginning to teeth, causing the parents much greave."

"Well let's get mixing," Shouted Applebloom. The rest of the conversation was lost as the moved down the trial. I carefully began my slow and steady pursuit until, sure enough, I came her hut. The creepy masks were hung all around her home. They all were multicolored and had distorted expressions on them.

"Ugh, got to agree with Rarity on this one. Simply horrid." I found a suitable hiding spot and hungered down, to wait for Applebloom to leave. I know a young foal wouldn't stay quiet about an alien living in the forest.

My watched told me that it was now 6 in the evening. The sun was setting and the forest was starting to get even more dark and gloomy. I heard a door open and close. “See ya Zecora! I’ll be back tomarrow to help finish that potion!” Applebloom raced past my bush and down the path that must lead to Ponyville. I made a mental note of this path. Somewhat important.

I waited a few minutes to insure that she would come strolling back and interrupt the alien greeting that was about to occur. I moved from the foliage and walked up to the door of the hut. I stood in front of the door for a few seconds, but it felt like hours. I slowly extended my arm and balled my fist.

Alright, here it goes. First contact with a pony…zebra- close enough

I let out a deep breath. God please let this workout.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

The Tea Time

The Tea Time

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 10
By Honored Service

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

I waited for a few seconds as the tension continued to build as I stood there in front of this door. My first interaction with a pony. This could go either really well or really bad; no middle room here.

“I thought we were completed and done,” Voice spoke from the other side of the door, getting closer. “Or have you forgotten something little one.” The door swung open revealing a very startled looking Zebra. She had pure white strips and black stripes running along her body. Her large dark teal eyes grew wide as she stared at me.

Zecora took one step back from the door into her hut, but other than that she didn’t show much fear. The zebra came about chest high, with her Mohawk mane reaching my chin. So that would make ponies about 5 feet tall. Something close to that.

“Hum, hello. My name is Johnson and I need some help.” I was still standing outside of her home, waiting to judge her reaction. Hopefully once she saw I was sentient and not harmful, she would allow me in and help sparkly ol’ me.

“Excuse me for staring stranger, but for a moment there I feared I was in danger. My name is Zecora, and I live in this area of flora.” She lowered he head a bit and relaxed herself. “Please come in and make yourself at home, I would like to hear of your roam.” She trotted off towards a pot and kettle on the other side of the room.

You know that feeling when you go to a friend’s house, and they are being super nice but you still feel awkward and unsure of anything…yeah I was getting a lot of that right now. Where do I sit? Do I sit? Should I stand? Maybe I’ll set across from where ever she sits.

“Oh my, please have a seat here, I did not mean to disappear. I have prepared us some tea, so let’s talk shall we?” Zecora moved over to a large rug which had black and yellow patterns all over it, stepping onto it, I was amazed at how soft it was. Even through the combat boots I could feel the plush carpet. I sat down taking a cup of tea off the tray Zecora was holding in her mouth. She set the tray down next to her and picked up the cup between her two front hooves and took a sip. I slowly took a drink of the hot liquid and tasted a wonderful minty sensation in my mouth. By far the best mint tea I have ever had.

“Now what solution do you seek, for the help you speak?” Zecora cocked her head to the side staring at me. She had a somewhat confused stare about her. Someone like her must have a lot of knowledge on animals, I wasn’t from here.

“Ah well first Zecora, I need some herbs and plants that you use to cure poison joke. You see while um *cough* running through the Everfree forest, I fell into some of the blue flowers. And I would much appreciate it if you could stop this.” I raised my hand into the some light coming in through a window. Thousands of lights danced around the room causing Zecora to through a fore hoof over her eyes.

“Oh dear what a show, you do set the place aglow. But first I must pry, and please do not lie. What are you, creature, with such strange features?” Zecora stood up and move around me, examining me with extreme detail.

“Oh well you see I’m a Human.” I began to explain, but was cut off as she placed a hoof on my mouth and stared me down. She had a serious look on her face and moved her head closer barrowing her eyes as if to see me better.

“This had best be no joke, you better not be pulling my yoke.” I nodded and she let me go and walked over to a book shelf and pulled a large tome from it. She walked over placing the large orange book in front of me. “Turn to page 573, something there you should see.”

I was now curious. Very curious. This wasn’t how I had imagined this interaction going at all. Zecora was just watching me as I turned to the correct page. The front of the old book had a title I could read. It looked like a combination of pony symbols from the shows, Russian and English letters. Ωпlоegnнedиs. The lettering was very bold, but I could understand it.

“Zecora, what does the tittle say?” I looked up at the zebra was sitting across from me sipping on her tea.

Dunking her tea bag into the water she spoke in calm manor, “Pony Legends is the title, but I guess being able to read is vital.” She moved over to a shelf and grabbed three jars and placed them on her back, she walked to a counter with more bowls and jars and hanging plants above it. I heard scraping and the clinking of pots and the scraping of a mortar and pestle. Could she really make a potion for anything? Even making someone/pony able to read.

“This concoction will make it so you may read, but do it with speed. For it won’t last long, then it will pass along.” Zecora placed a cup in front of me. A black and white solution swirled inside of it. What was so important that she had to make a potion for me? Couldn’t she just tell me what the book said? Nothing venture, nothing gained.

I picked up the cup and sniffed it…YUCK, I cringed at the smell. It smelled like a rotten dead animal and week old seafood. One. Two. Three.

I pounded that drink back and found it to taste a lot like a chocolate chip cookie dough milkshake. Wow that tasted a lot better than it smelled. Like 69% better. And it even left a pleasant after taste.

I looked at Zecora who just smiled and looked down to the book still resting on the floor. I flipped to the cover.

Pony Legends
Author Wild Tales

Might have not been the best name to write under if you wanted people/ponies to believe you. But hey, in this world the legends came true. I mean Nightmare Moon is all the proof I need.

Flipping to page 573 as Zecora had instructed my jaw lowered itself to the floor as I read the title.

573
Bipedal Striders: The Rare Humans

The Human is a creature that lives forever in the annals of legend. These creatures were said to once have lived in the area south of Equestria that once was called Hum-gia. But now is known as the Manejave Desert.

The Human lacked magic in all three forms we ponies have, but they had a talent that we could only dream of; innovation. These Humans were able to create machinery and technology that was beyond anything we could hope to build. For centuries the Human-Pony relations were that of peace and trade, until 100 pnmm* when the Humans stopped contacting their pony friends and neighbors.

For almost 3 years nothing was heard from the peaceful bipedal creatures. Both of the Royal Canterlot Sisters decided that an expedition be made to find out what had occurred to the Humans that use to border the southern land. The expedition returned 8 months later to tell of the complete and utter destruction of the Human species. The once lush fields and farms of the nation were gone. Only sand and ash could be found. The once thriving Human cities that had building that could touch the sky were nowhere to be found. Burnt ruble and ash was that could be recovered, but in 2 pnmm a shocking discovery was made. Researches from the Canterlot University Human department found a small journal with writings dating back to 101 pnmm.

“The time has come. We do not know what this thing is, but it seems to take over its host and cause emotions to go wild. Mainly anger and jealously are the emotions stricken with the plague; as the doctors and scientist have come to call it. The military is going on full alert and order 66 has been authorized. The least we can do is protect our northern equine neighbors. They would be defenseless to this plague. We die as to protect them.
Colonel J. SheildStrong
Hum-gia National Army
13th Green Month, 216 pep**” –An excerpt from the final chapter of the journal found in a destroyed building; believed to be SheildStong’s home or a military stronghold.
*Pre Nightmare Moon
**Human dating technique. Post Electric Power

This is the only information that was found about the disappearance of Humans and…

I slowly closed the book and looked up to Zecora. She was still watching me drinking another cup of tea. She moved over and collected my empty cup of tea. “Would you care for another cup, I’m sure you need it to loosen up.”

“Oh. What? Yes thank you Zecora.” She walked off to get more tea for me while I was still in a state of disbelief. Humans had existed in Equestria? And they had sacrificed themselves to save ponies. I’m not sure what I should be feeling. This was quite the bombshell. And I thought I would be shocking Zecora, but now the shoe is on the other foot. Or horseshoe is on the other hoof I should say.

Zecora came back in and placed another cup of the minty tea next to me. This time I tasted a hint of lemon mixed in with the sweet mint. Certainly a very teariffic combinations…fuck you that was funny.

“A human you are; there is no doubt, but they had all been snuffed out.” Zecora put a hoof to her chin and rubbed it deep in thought.

“Zecora, thank you for your hospitality but I never finished telling you about myself. I’m a human, from another world. I wasn’t born here in Equestria or this Earth; I was thrown into this world by accident. I don’t know how, but here I am.” I put the empty teacup down on the tray and waited for her rhythmical response.

“From another planet you say, this doesn’t happen every day. An alien you are, yet your species lived not far.” She spoke to herself in a language I wasn’t familiar with as she gathered more plants and pots. She stepped in front of the cauldron and began to mix up something.

“What is that you’re making?” I got up from my resting place and moved over to the cauldron with her. I adjusted the rifle as I got up so it hung off my side from the tactical sling.

“This is the solution to the poison joke, something for you the poor bloke.” She picked up a large wooden spoon in her mouth and began to stir the green liquid. It smelt different. Not bad, but not good something with and herby order. Zecora placed the spoon down and added one more leaf into the black cauldron.

“Be more careful in the forest within, so you won’t return with sparkly skin.” With a final nod she moved away from the pot. “We can add this to a pool, once it is cool. Then you will wash, and you will be cured by gosh.” She blew out the fire under the pot and the mixture slowly began to become more transparent till it looked like sudsy water.

I helped Zecora move the cauldron to a small pond near her home. It was perfect to pour the herbal bath and cure me. We dumped in the cure and I stripped down to my underclothes and waded into the water. I scrubbed quickly and watched as the sparkling slowly stopped.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh” I sighed, leaning back into the water. I was finally back to normal. You know, other than being trapped in a cartoon world. But that wasn’t a bad thing. Not at all.

Zecora hadn’t moved from the side of the pond, but had watched with curiosity. She had looked at my tactical rig and backpack, asking if she could see some of my human artifacts.

“Sure,” I said, moving over the edge of the pond I pulled out the binoculars and flashlight. She picked both of them up and examined them closely, amazed with the flash light and its different colored lenses more so than the binoculars.

“I know of a pony who you should meet, she would think this of a great treat.” She placed the flash light down and sticking her whole head into the backpack.

“Um, about that Zecora; I don’t know if the pony kind is ready to know that a human is alive and living so close to a town. At least not yet. The time and place for my existence to be known will make itself available. I’m sure you understand what I mean, right?” I did want to meet the ponies everyone knows and loves, but this human legend stuff seems a bit confusing. And I know who was around when it happened that I need to talk to. Stepping out of the pond I dried off and began to dress again. I was going to move camp closer to Zecora’s hut. Being closer to a new friend with lots of remedies and potions would be nice.

“I can speak from personal story, that ponies can be made into worry.”

As I finished getting ready, I asked Zecora about any fields or clearings nearby that I could set up a new camp. And as much as I was going to miss Reggie, it was about time I got out of his fabulous hair. Zecora pointed me in the right direction to a small clearing that would be close enough I could get to her quickly, and still be hidden from wandering ponies.

“And before you leave, barrow these.” She trotted up to me with two books clasped in her mouth. One was the legends book with the information on humans. The other had a leaf with a fork and knife on it.

“Read the human one first, as the potion is getting worst.” Tapping the second book she spoke, “Read this one last, as its picture make it fast.” The second one just had pictures with check marks and x’s. So easy a Human can read it.

“Thank you Zecora. I’ll bring them back tomorrow!” I waved and moved through the brush to my new camp; collecting leaves, roots and berries that the book said were ok as I went.

At least food wouldn’t be a problem anymore. But this human legend was a mystery I wanted to look into. And this book was the first clue.

Dear Princess Celestia,
Today i learned that having your wisdom teeth pulled bucking sucks.
Your faithful fanfic writer,
Honored Service a.k.a Johnson

The Mystery Continues

The Mystery Continues

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 10 ½
By Honored Service

I laid down on the bedroll that I set up in my new camp. This camp was in the middle of a ring of trees and had a few berry bushes in the circle of tranquility. For being in the Everfree forest, this camp was very cozy and I felt safe. But then again having some kick ass guns and a badass knife doesn’t hurt. My fire was burning at a nice level and I had the Pony Legends book out in front of me. I was still able to read the book for now so I was going to continue read about the humans that had inhabited Equestria before Nightmare Moon.

579
…and what actually happened in the final days of the Human civilization will remain a mystery to pony kind till new discoveries are made.

Ok so that all that this book held about what happned but what did it say about the humans themselves? I flipped forward a few pages, oh here we go.

The Human Culture
The Humans were a proud race of technological advanced warriors. These human were gifted fighters in many different types of combat. Humans were known for their ability in hand to hoof and hand to hand combat techniques which are still the foundation to Canterlot Guard of today. The humans also were known to forge the best swords and spears in the entire world. Humans had bows and arrows that were able to travel at extreme distance, more so than any other race in the world. The Griffons of Griffmeny were always jealous of this talent.

All of these unique abilities of the Humans made them the greatest fighters Earth has ever seen. Ever sentient race, excluding the Dragons, had human fighters in their police or military forces. The Equestrian Honor Guard* was the Royal Canterlot Sister’s personal guard. Each sibling was in direct command of two elite Human fighters. These Human were registered Equestrian citizens and had all the benefits of citizens.

* No record of the Equestian Honor Guard ever being involved in open conflict has been recorded.
The Humans that lived in Equestria were peaceful; all Humans were peaceful until provoked. Humans were extremely defensive fighters, choosing to never start a fight, but to end it. (See Griffon Human war of 250pnmm)

The main theory behind the Human disappearance is believed to i Л5erуtнnа Кhjkошмар или чуdfмы, котоfnhрые затрgheонули ее. О the game на бfrыла лsdeидером в экhспcdедhиtции вy чrеgehловечесfsdeкую зhyемлю

Well I’m guessing the potion finally wore out. I’m still certain I know who I need to talk to somepony that has been around for a long time. Or two ponies I should say.

Pulling out my ops manual I crossed out
Stop fucking sparkling

And added a new objective.

. Talk to Princes Celestia and Princess Luna, about humans. Maybe Lyra if time permits

The Timber Wolves

The Timber Wolves

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 11
By Honored Service

“That had to have been one of the best night’s sleep I’ve had since coming here.” I stood up from my bedroll and stretched. I mean sure I had just found out that some ancient humans had lived in Equestria, and they had sacrificed themselves to protect their pony neighbors, but this is where I became confused. If the humans had given everything to protect ponies, wouldn’t they be more than a legend? Shouldn’t they have a monument or holiday? I guess I’ll have to ask Celestia or Luna about that.

“Ok enough lounging around. Let’s go give these books back to Zecora before it gets too late in the day. I don’t want to be there when Applebloom shows up.” I grabbed the books and a few berries from one of the bushes in my new home camp and walked down the rough trail back to Zecora’s hut. I would have to come back another way though. I don’t want to wear a path into the forest floor; attract as little attention possible.

“Hey Zecora, I brought back your books!” I called out to the Zebra before knocking on her door. I was raised with manners and no matter how well you know someone you always knocked before entering.

“Ah how wonderful of you to return, but much you have to learn. There is no need to knock, just come in and talk.” Zecora took the books back and placed them on the bottom shelf of a fairly large book case. “I hope the plant tome; will help you on your food roam.”

“Oh yes, thanks to that book I was able to find some berries and roots nearby my new camp to eat. I guess I’m going to have to adapt to a primarily vegetarian diet here in Equestria. As much as I will miss meat, it would have to happen.”

“Indeed being a vegetarian will help, the ponies will not yelp. But if you wish for meat, then I know where you should treat. The land of griffons; they will not stiffen. Meat eaters they are, you will not have to look far.” She walked over to her large cast iron cauldron and began to stir a purple solution that bubbled and gave off a very delightful scent.

“I should be fine; I can find a new source of protein other than meat. Sure I’m going to miss it, but I can make do without it.” I inhaled deeply of the potion. It did smell very good; like mixture of apples and pears, a fruit smoothie kind of fragrance.

“Well that shouldn’t be trouble, this potion serves you double. It contains the nutrition you seek, but without the meat reek.” Zecora scooped out a bowl full of the delicious smelling liquid. She hoofed it to me. I accepted it and brought it to my lips.

“Wow this…this is really good Zecora!” I drank the rest of the serving of magical brew. Something that had all the protein I needed without having to eat meat. This just made everything a lot easier, although I’m still going to miss that amazing bacon. Oh God the bacon.

I pulled out the canteen and held it above the cauldron, “May I?”

“Take no heed; take as much as you need.” Zecora gave me another large pot to fill with the liquid food. “Return this once it is empty, I will have plenty.”

With both containers full of my new substance, I bid the rhyming zebra farewell and moved out back to my camp. Taking a slightly different route. I placed the pot of food next to the bedroll and used a vine to secure the lid closed.

“There, hopefully that will keep out the bugs. What else should I do today?” I pulled out the ops manual. “Hmmmm well everything is done except for solve the mystery on humans. And I need to be in Canterlot to do that…I’ll just have to hold off on that one. Maybe I can make a tent. So far the weather has been on my side, but who knows how long that will last.”

I wrote a new objective into the ops manual.
-Make some kind of shelter. Something to keep my person and belongings dry

I decided to make a simple lean-to. I found a long stick and secured it horizontally in-between two trees. Using smaller sticks, I made a simple roof that I could attach leaves onto to use as shingles. Layering ferns and large leaves from a plant I found, I created a layered roof that would flow water down the back of the lean-to. Using more logs and sticks a created a small wall in the front of the lean-to so I could build my fire in the shelter and have it protected from the wind; and it would keep it somewhat hidden from prying eyes.

I stood back from my new home. This was much better than just a bedroll and the stars. Laying the bedroll inside of the new shelter, I felt a great sense of accomplishment. Hell, maybe if I can find an ax I'll make a log cabin out here. I could have Zecora pick one up for me. I’ll trade some physical labor for it or something. I don’t have any bits or anything I could trade.

I checked off the current objective and wrote a new one down,
-go exploring. Not too far as to not get lost

Grabbing my tactical vest and rifle, I headed out into the Everfree. It was time to become more familiar with my surroundings. I was a human in Equestria. Simple math told me that it had been at least 1,100 years since a human had walked this Earth, and I was going to learn how to walk it without trip-

SPLAT

I picked myself out of the mud. “Ok now I’m going to learn how to survive and walk here without tripping. Starting now.” I wiped the mud off my face and continued on my mini adventure through the Everfree.

I reached the edge of the forest and peered out at the town across the large grassy field. This had to be Ponyville. It looked exactly like the TV show, only real. And I was staring right at it. I got into a prone position and pulled out my binoculars. Sighting them in as far as I could get them, which was about 750 meters, I could make out pastel blobs moving to and fro in the town. Shapes would move from building to building, while some would take to the air and swoop onto balconies and roofs. I couldn’t see the details of the ponies this far away; just colors. I saw a pink and green combo, tan and dark brown, orange and yellow, purple and pink, blue and rainbow… wait I turned the binoculars on the last one. I would recognize that color combination anywhere. Rainbow Dash was zipping around the town in the sky.
Damn, I wish I had gotten some stronger recon binoculars. These ones were good, but nowhere near good enough to see the awesomeness of the rainbow blur flying around Ponyville. I shifted my line of sight to a group of ponies that were coming straight towards me. Shit.

I scooted back a little more under the brush of the forest. Closer inspection revealed a tall earth pony with a creamy purple body and a pink purple curled mane. Light green eyes. Cheerilee. Following behind her was a group of school of kids (foals?). Three of them I recognized right away; an orange and purple Pegasus, a white and purple pink unicorn, and last but certainly not least, a yellow and red earth pony with a large pink bow.

Madre de Dios. I knew some of the other foals but these were the three that everyone loved. So. Fucking. Cute. I couldn’t believe I was watching this group of foals. Cheerilee was leading the class near the Everfree forest. Man, I miss field trips. College is fun and all, but my last field trip was a nine mile run in full gear through the surrounding city. Fuck that.

I swiveled my binoculars ahead of the group to see where they were heading. I guess that small pond at the edge of the field. That was the only thing out here; other than those glowing yellow eyes coming from the forest near the pond. Wait. What?

I focused on the eyes, slanted yellow eyes. What had those; cockatrice? No. Hydras? Yes but not this low to the ground. What else lived in the woods? Woods. Timber Wolves. Damn it.

The group of foals were bouncing along happily trotting right towards the group of hungry eyes. I counted eight pairs of glowing evil yellow eyes. I had seen these eyes before. Eyes of a predator that was hungry. A now dead manticore had had the same look before I blew out its brains.

Well, I had told Zecora that the time and place to make myself known to pony-kind would reveal itself. I just didn’t think the time would be so soon, or in front of a group of schoolfoals. The eyes vanished. I scanned the edge of the Everfree but couldn’t find them. Shit. I had lost track of the Timber wolves.

“Fuck.” I stood up to a crouch and moved along the Everfree towards the group of ponies. I needed to stay nearby incase the worst happened. I’ll be damned if anything attacks the CMC…or the other ponies. Even Diamond Bitch Tierra and Silver Snotty Spoon.

“Now class, stay together. We are nearing the duck pond, but stay away from the Everfree forest. I know some of you like to explore it.” I was close enough to hear Cheerilee talking to the group of excited school foals. The class had now gathered near the duck pond and was looking into the clear water. Cheerilee picked up a lily pad and was explaining something about it. I was too busy looking at the evil eyes that had appeared behind the group on the other side of the Everfree forest. I was directly across from the group of Timber Wolves; Eight eyes, four Timber wolves I had already taken on a manticore and won. How hard could 4 of them be?

The Timber Wolves leapt out of the forest all at once; if I had blinked I would have missed it. They moved fast. Shit snacks. Alright. Let’s save some foals.

***************************************************************************

“Now girls pay attention, this will be on the quiz. This lily pad has a pink flower and Zecora pointed out last field trip, it can be used for… anypony?” Cheerilee scanned the group of colts and fillies.

A yellow earth pony spoke up, “Is it added to aloe plant to create a burn lotion?”

“Very good Applebloom; yes when added to aloe it creates a very soothing burn ointment, very useful for a future chef.” She winked at a small chubby colt named Chowder; who shuffled his hooves.

“This is added…” A loud growl interrupted Cheerilee as four large Timber Wolves jumped out of the Everfree forest and began to slowly circle the group of innocent ponies.

“G-e-e-t-t-t...be-be-hind me class.” Miss Cheerilee said as bravely as possible. She had though that coming her in the middle of the day would be safe, the Timber Wolves were night hunters.

As the class grouped up behind the shaking teacher, the wolves moved in for the kill.

Cheerilee braced herself to try and buck the wolf that made the first attack but it never came. She opened her eyes to see all the wolves staring at something behind the class. She noticed that the group of school foals were also looking behind them. She risked turning her head from the Timber Wolves and couldn’t believe what she saw; some tall bipedal creature stood behind them. It was at least 6 feet tall and held some black rectangular thing in its claws. It was wearing some type of armored clothing that was different shades of green and tan coloring. It had this look of determination in its eyes; ignoring her group of foals, the tall creature moved towards the growling and snarling Timber Wolves.

***************************************************************************

I stepped out of the forest as the Timber Wolves all moved to the front of the class. My heart was pounding in my chest and my rifle was at the ready. My pistol was cocked and readied in the holster should I need it. And I hoped it didn’t come down to using the knife. The wolves noticed me and stopped staring at the group of ponies.

That’s right, look at me. Come at me. I took a step forward. From my peripheral vision I noticed some of the foals cringe from me. I ignored them, hoping that if I didn’t pay any attention to them; they wouldn’t believe that I was here to hurt them; but to protect them. Put myself in danger to save them…why does that sound so familiar?

The Timber Wolves all began to growl and snarl at me. What looked like sap dripped off their wooden fangs? Those would leave some nasty splinters. I moved around the shaking group of foals and their teacher so that I was now in front of them and facing the wolves head on.

I clicked off the safety on the rifle, “Leave them alone.” One of the wolves took a step closer to me, opening its jaw letting out a deep growl that sent goose bumps along my arms.

“Wrong move, timber bitch.” I squeezed the trigger.

BANG

Tink

That wolf leapt at me as I pulled the trigger. I dove out of the way as a now headless wolf slammed into the ground; sap was leaking out of the stump of its head, pooling onto the ground. I looked up in time to use the rifle as a shield as another Timber wolf jumped at my throat. Holding it back with one hand on the rifle, I fumbled with the holster cover and drew Spike. I placed the barrel against the wolf’s temple and jerked the trigger three times.

BANG BANG BANG

Tink Tink tink

The wolf’s body thumbed to the ground along with three red hot glowing shells. The exit wounds from the pistol rounds had caused half of the wolf’s head to go missing. Holstering the pistol and shouldering the rifle I faced down the last two Timber Wolves that stood side by side. They charged at me together.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

Tink Tink Tink Tink Tink

That one fucking wolf ducked behind the other so it absorbed all five rounds. It broke apart into thousands of splinters and chunks of sappy wood. The last wolf dove at me once its comrade fell to the ground.

I shoulder rolled out of its path and raised the weapon at its back.

Click-tink-click

Of all my luck, God jam it. A red hot casing was stuck in the ejection port along with a piece of sappy wood. I dropped the rifle and tried to draw the pistol but it was too late. The Timber wolf latched its jaw onto my right arm.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH” I hollered as the wooden teeth broke through the jacket and into the skin, plunging their way to the bone. Using my left had I yanked out Bad Bertha and made a slash at the creatures neck. A clean miss. I hadn’t even felt the knife make contact with the wolf’s neck.

THUMP

THUMP

I looked down to see the decapitated wolf twitching on the ground. Blood dripped of my right arm and joined with the sap coming out of its body. My knife had a coating of gooey sap on its blade.

Well shit. That wasn’t a miss. Bad Bertha had just cut through its neck of wood like a hot knife through warm butter. Damn. I guess the magic metal coating had really made this knife sharp.

The whole fight had lasted maybe 45 seconds. The group of ponies still were rooted to the spot near the pond.

I sheathed BB and leaned over picked up my rifle in the bloody hand. I pulled back the charging handle and the brass shell and wood came out. I clicked the safety on.

“Um, stay safe, y’all.” And with that I nodded to the ponies and wandered back into the woods towards my camp. I felt bad leaving them with their jaws on the ground; but I needed my first aid kit, some tweezers, and a lot of rest.

That was one hell of a mini-adventure.

And this shows that humans are in no way invincible in the World of Equestria.

The After Bloom

The After Bloom

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 12
By Honored Service

I staggered back into my camp and collapsed onto my bedroll in the lean-to. I reached over with my good arm and dug the first aid kit out of the backpack. I rolled up my tattered sleeve and inspected the wound the Timber Wolf had given me. 4 deep bite marks covered my forearm.

“Ughhhhhh this is a bitch.” I found the pair of tweezers and got to work on the gruesome wound. I’ll skip the morbid details. All in all 13 splinters came out of the 4 bite marks. One had definitely hit the bone as it caused the most pain to remove. I made a quick bandage and tied up the wound, I was going to have to go see Zecora sooner than I thought. I’m sure she had something that could heal this up real quick.

I looked at my rifle; it had never failed me before. Well it didn’t fail me. It killed two out of the four wolves and had saved my neck literally from another one. But the jam wasn’t all the shell’s fault. I remembered the piece of wood that had flown from the Timber had clogged the ejection port. 21 bullets left in that clip. I still had a good bit of ammo for the rifle and I still had 72 pistol rounds. And now I had this ungodly sharp knife. Very fucking sharp.

I picked up the rifle, now completely unclogged, and trudged through the forest to the friendly zebra’s hut. It was quiet when I arrived and I knocked on the door. “Zecora, it’s me Johnson. Are you home?”

I heard the clopping of hooves and the door opened. Zecora stood there looking relived. “Johnson it’s good to see you are safe, I have heard some noise that caused my ears chafe. It was loud bang and boom; that surely meant our doom.”

“No Zecora, I caused that noise. Those loud explosions came from my weapons.” I patted the rifle that hung across my chest. “I was exploring the woods and a group of Timber Wolves tried to attack some ponies near the edge of the Everfree forest. So I stepped in and kind of saved the day.” I shrugged at the last part, finally realizing that I had saved the day.

Zecora paced over to a window and looked out into the woods. “I’m am very glad to hear this, but your arm is amiss.” She trotted over and nudged my arm with her snout. “What happened here, did this occur out there?”

I slowly undid the bandage wrapped around the injured area of my right arm. “Yea, one of the Timber Wolves bite me. I managed to get out the splinters, but I was wondering if you had something that could help heal it.”

“Hm I believe I have this potion, it was wise of you to have this notion. An open wound in this wood, it is surely no good.” She picked up a clay pot and placed it on the floor. Zecora patted a spot nest to her, instructing me to sit next to her.

I removed my rifle and laid it on the ground, and I sat next to zebra. The smell coming from the pot was foul. Not as bad as the potion that allowed me to read, but it was still pretty bad. Zecora dipped a hoof into the green sludge and held it above the teeth marks.

“This may cause a pinch, but please do not flinch.” She lowered the mixture onto the bites and I immediately almost tore my arm away from her. It was like thousands of ants had just crawled into my arm and were stinging every inch of my forearm. I was about to start screaming, but then it stopped. I looked down and noticed the holes in my arm were gone. 4 scares now adorned my arm. The teeth marks had healed and scared over in seconds.

“Thanks Zecora!” I threw my now healed arm around her and pulled her into a one armed hug. She returned the gesture by placing a fore hoof around me as well.

“Johnson you are most welcome, saving ponies is seldom.”

I was about to ask Zecora if there was anything I could do to pay the kind zebra back for her generosity to a stranger when the front door swung open.

“ZECORA you will never believe what ah just saw happen! This creature that was 10 feet tall saved me and my class and Miss Cheerlie!” Applebloom bounded into the room, to excited to notice me sitting in the corner of the room.

“More like 6 feet.” I said calmly from my spot across the room.

“Yea that’s right, it was…” She finally stopped her bouncing and locked eyes with me. Her pupils grew wide and she just stared at me. It felt like minutes before anything happened. This little filly was frozen in place and I was too afraid of scaring her to do anything.

The next moment I was lying on my back with this adorable filly hug tackling me onto the floor. I couldn’t comprehend what was happening until it was too late.

“You saved me and Sweetie Bell, and Scootalo! Everypony in my class was saved thanks to you! You were so brave and awesome! Even Scootalo couldn’t deny that it was awesome the way you were all like pow pow pow, bang bang bang to those evil bad Timber Wolves.” The yellow filly finally stopped talking and sat on my chest staring at me with the most adorable smile ever.

“Um yes. You’re welcome. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.” No I was just spying on Ponyville when you ponies walked by.

Applebloom hoped of my chest and strode over to Zecora who had been watching the whole time with a goofy smile on her face. “Well human you seem to have an admirer, and others will also inquirer.”

Yeah I guess that is bound to come up now. You don’t just save a group of foals and then just disappear into thin air. Besides 2 of the mane six’s sisters had been in that group. I was bound to get some attention now.

Applebloom looked at my arm. “Is that where the wolf bit you?” She pointed a hoof at the 4 milky white spots on my arm.

“Oh these little scratches? Yeah it was no big deal, just a little blood.” I shrugged it off. I was the badass human; I couldn’t seem weak in front of a new fan.

“Applebloom he almost cried silly, like a small filly. When I applied the healing solution, you would think he was in constriction.” I glared at the zebra who only laughed. Applebloom giggled as well.

She walked over to me and wrapped her forelegs around my right leg and gave it a squeeze. “Thanks again… um creature. My name is Applebloom.”

She looked up at me with damn adorable face. “Well Applebloom, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Johnson and I’m the only human in Equestria.” Actually I liked that. Johnson, Equestria’s only human. It was mysterious and very solemn. Just like everything else about humans in Equestria.

“Well thank you Zecora thanks again for the medicine. I’m going to leave before anypony else shows up. Now Applebloom tell you sister about me. Make sure everypony you talk to knows that I am 100% peaceful and I’m not dangerous. Deal?”

I was thinking if Applebloom told her sister, Applejack would tell her friends, Twilight Sparkle would certainly send a letter to Princess Celestia and badaboom I had my contact to find out about what happened to humans 1,100 years ago.

“Oh you don’t have to worry about that Johnson.” Applebloom waved me off with a hoof and a shrug.

“And why is that Applebloom?” Ok now I’m intrigued. Did she already do that?

“Because by now all of Ponyville knows about you, we all ran back to town screaming about a creature that saved us. Miss Cheerlie went straight to the Twilight Sparkle, who is a personal pro-tege…protegae…student to the Princess herself. So everyone already knows about this mysterious creature that saved the day, and me and Zecora are the first to meet ya!” She smiled wide and nodded to Zecora who was busy making some other concoction in her cauldron. She looked up and smiled and went back to stirring.

Well that went a lot faster than I thought. Actually this whole thing was going a lot better than I thought it would. Applebloom wasn’t afraid of me, but then again she wasn’t afraid of Zecora. I guess I need to visit Ponyville and really see how I am received.

But maybe not yet, I might wait a few days till venturing into town. Day of the saving might not receive the best results. Now I had made first contact with the ponies, maybe I should wait and allow them to try and contact me. Give and take.

Yup I like that idea. Time to play the waiting game and by that I mean im going to sleep and eat in my camp.

“Well goodbye you two. Zecora, you know where to find me if you need me for anything. And Applebloom, I promise to see you again, so here, hold onto this for me till I come back.” I reached around my neck and pulled off my Army dog tags. I disconnected one of the small metal discs and held it out to Applebloom. I put the other one back around my neck. She took it in a hoof and stared at it.

“What does this here thing say?” She tried holding it at different angles to read the stamped metal; but it didn’t seem to help her at any.

“It is called a dog tag, and it has my name on it. Along with my address and blood type.” I didn’t really feel like explaining what that all meant today. Another time I figured.

She held it close like it was a precious toy or lifelong friend. “Ah promise I’ll keep it safe Johnson.”

I smiled and bent down and patted her head. “Stay safe Applebloom. Zecora, walk her out of the forest tonight, okay?” I moved towards the door to the hut ready to head to my home in the small clearing. Sleep sounded excellent right now.

“I’ll walk her out and into safety, this is what counts mostly.” Zecora and Applebloom waved goodbye as I closed the door and headed of into the woods. Hopefully tonight would pass without any interference from the local wildlife and things would return to as close to normal as it can get.

******************************************************************************

I awoke to the sunlight streaming through the canopy of the forest. I yawned and stretched cracking my back and neck as I rose to sitting position. I reached for my canteen and took a few gulps of the sweet protein enriched solution that Zecora had made me.

My watch read 10:30. Wow I slept for nearly 10 hours. I felt completely refreshed and energized. Yesterday’s actions were still fresh in my mind. I ran my hand over the 4 small bumps that now were permanently engraved on my skin, a reminder that I wasn’t completely invincible to the fauna that inhabited this forest. I would need a real home one of these days.

As I continued to wake up; I smelt something, something sweet, like frosting. I looked around for the smell and my eyes came to rest on a bright pink cupcake resting on top of my backpack. I slowly picked it up to find a note attached to the side of it. I pulled it off and read the very pink card.

You are here by invited to Pinkie Pie’s
Thanks for saving the school foals and Miss Cheerlie from the Big Bad Timber Wolves Party
At Sugar Cube Corner
6 o’clock
~Pinkie Pie

Well I’ll be damned. My first interaction with Pinkie Pie and I had been asleep for it. I took a bite of the Cupcake. Wow

Like wow.

Like triple amazing wow.

Take the best thing you have ever eaten, and throw it out the window. This was the God of all food I have ever eaten. I picked up sprinkles from the ground that had fallen off. That fucking good.

Well now I knew how I was going to meet the ponies of Ponyville. At least it would be a party and I could get it done all at once. Quick, like a band-aid. I could explain everything once to everypony and not have to repeat myself a thousand times in one day.

I left my lean-to and walked to the small pond that I had bathed in to get rid of my sparkly skin from the poison joke. It has been 2 days since I last bathed. I removed my tactical vest and belt with holster on it. Then I took off my now slightly blood stained and ripped jacket and threw it into the pond along with my pants. Time to wash these bad boys. I left the rifle and boots on the edge of the pond so I could grab them if needed. I needed to wash up for my first pony-human social interaction.

After I was squeaky clean I redressed myself taking extra special care to make sure my uniform was in tip top shape; other than for the ripped right sleeve. I put my rifle in my lean-to after removing the firing pin. I placed that in my breast pocket for safe keeping. I put on my belt with BB on the left side and my pistol on the right side. All 4 clips were attached in to the belt in nylon mag pouches next to the pistol; with the 5th clip in the pistol. I know I was going to a party, but I did have to walk through the Everfree to get to it. And better to have it and not need it; then to need it and not have it. Survival tip #1

My watch beeped letting me know it was 4 in the afternoon. I decided that I should bring a guest with me. And I knew just witch pony to bring. Or should I say Zebra. She has earned the right to go with me after everything she has helped me with. The only other being that deserves to go is Reggie, but he cant leave his river. I'll pay him a visit soon enough.

The Pinkie Party

The Pinkie Party

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 13
By Honored Service

I marched up the zebra’s hut and knocked on the old wooden door. “Zecora, it’s me again.” I waited for the all clear that I could enter. Still had some type of manners.

“We have been over this again and again; you are quite welcome in this domain.” Zecora spoke as the door open inward into her familiar home. Although there was a lot of black residue that seemed to cover almost every surface of her home something that certainly hadn’t been here yesterday when I left.

“What happened here?” I stared in shock at the mess that had once been an organized home. Seriously it was bad.

“Applebloom tried to make her first healing potion, but it seemed to have a different notion.” The zebra hung her head and mumbled, “It is not an easy fix, as the solution has a trick. It is hard to clean, something so sinister and mean.” Ah Applebloom had created a paint bomb by accident.

“Well Zecora you wouldn’t be too busy to attend a party with me? I woke up this morning to find a bright pink cupcake with a note attached to it.” I pulled out the note from my breast pocket and handed it to her.

“How am I not surprised, that she wrote this Pinkie Pie.” She smiled and nodded turning away from the mess behind her. “I believe I have earned a break, something from this to escape.” Zecora moved over to a sink in the other room and began to scrub off the black mess that was all over her hooves.

I looked at the invention again. How had Pinkie Pie known where I was staying? Zecora wouldn’t have told her; I don’t think. Maybe Pinkie Pie really is like the show. Super crazy and spontaneous, I’m ok with this.

I waited patiently for Zecora to finish. I didn’t want to make her walk through the forest alone. But having some company wouldn’t hurt. I heard the sink turn off and the Zecora came back out looking all cleaned up and ready to go.

“All set?” I moved towards the door ready to embark on what would certainly be a night to remember. At least for good things I hope. Not getting chased out of town by an angry mob of ponies. That would kind of be the opposite of what im trying to establish here.

“Yes I am ready to depart, let’s go see this party of art!” Zecora followed behind me out of the hut. I realized I had no idea how to get to Ponyville from her hut. I could from by camp, but I was unsure here. But I mean it was a straight path cut through the forest; it couldn’t be that hard to navigate; could it?

Somehow we managed to reach the edge of the forest without getting lost. And I didn’t trip once. Perhaps me saving the ponies had given me so much good karma that it had affected my luck and would make me not trip or fall every few minutes.

“Which way to Sugar Cube Corner, Zecora?” No, I wasn’t playing stupid; the TV show never gave street by street instruction on how to reach the many different buildings that were all over Ponyville. I would like to think I had a general ide on how to navigate this town, but that would be a lie.

“We turn here and continue straight, and we won’t be late.” We turned down the main road in Ponyville and dead ahead was the house made of candy. It looked quite delicious. I wonder if it was really made of candy… I’ll find out soon enough. I looked at my watch 5:50 pm.

“Is it always this deserted at this early at night?” I was trying to hang on to the idea that I would be accepted with open arms…hooves.

“No, usually it is quite busy, but we might have sent them into a tizzy.” Good point. Zecora had been feared for a while and I was a 6 foot tall creature that was different from anything the ponies had seen. We may have cleared the town out without intention.

“Here we are guest, let’s hope this works out for the best.” And with that she stepped aside leaving me to open the door.

Gulp. “Yup, lets get this over with.”

I pulled on the door.

Nothing happened.

I pulled again. It refused to budge.

“What the…?”

“I do believe you push in, I won’t speak of this again.” Zecora snickered as I pushed the door open. It swung open allowing us entry into the dark room.

“Um, Hello? Anyone here?”

“SURPRISE!!!” A pink pony shouted from right next to me. I jumped at least 3 feet into the air where I then had a heart attack. I know I should have been expecting it, but come on, it didn’t say anything about a surprise party on the damn invitation.

“Oh im sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you, just surprise you. So you must be the creature, what did Twilight say; Hu-mon, that saved Applebloom, Scootalo, Sweetie Bell, Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, Chowder, Twist, Feather Weight, Snips, Snails, -mhmphmphmmhmmhmmh.

The pink ball of energy was silenced as an orange hoof planted itself in her mouth.

“Sorry ‘bout that pardner. Pinkie Pie here just gets so excited when meeting new ponies…I mean things… I mean humans; she kinda’ just forgets when to breath.” I almost died right there. My favorite pony in the show was talking to me. Applejack. So much cuteness was in this room.

With the lights on I could see the party in all its glory. The mane 6 were all present and standing closest to me while a lot of the commonly known background ponies stood father back. They all were eying me with curiosity and interest. Maybe a few looks of fear here and there.

“Hello everyone, I mean Everypony. My name is Johnson and I am a Human.” Okay so now that the ice is broken, what do?

Immediately the questions came. It was like an avalanche of questions landing all over me. It was very overwhelming.

“Where are you from.”

“Are you a Human from legend?”

“Did you really stop 4 Timber Wolves?”

“What are you wearing?”

“What did y’all do with that boom thing from earlier?”

Ok I could answer everything like this. I was slowly backing up towards the door. I thought the ponies would have been more startled by me; not showering me with questions. I was about to make a break for it when a calm voice spoke up over the crowd.

“Okay everypony, let Johnson have his space. I’m sure it would be better to give him the spotlight and he can tell us what he wants.” I followed the voice to her. The tall, regal leader of the land I now inhabited. Princess Celestia herself moved through the crowd of ponies; still she stood in front of me. She stood at 7 feet tall, dwarfing me. She was intimidating, yet at the same time she carried this motherly grace that made you feel safe.

She smiled and nodded towards a spot in the back of the room that had stool already prepared. This was more like it. I liked being at the center of attention, but only when I had everyone’s focus. I majored in theater for 7 years. (The middle and high school I went to required you to have a major. Mine was theater- that is why Rarity is my tied favorite pony, but I digress)

I walked over to the stool and sat down. I took a breath and looked at all the faces of the ponies that were eager to hear of my tale up until now. Well better not keep them waiting; hopefully I can answer a lot of their question this way. Sure is better than being stormed with questions.

“My name is Johnson as most of you know, and everything started a week ago back on my home planet Earth…”

*********************************************************************************************************************************************

“And once the last Timber Wolf fell, I left so I wouldn’t scare the foals any more than they already were.”

It was silent for a moment after I finished the story explaining everything from the very beginning of time in Equestria. I hoped I had answered everything well enough to satisfy everypony.

A purple coated unicorn raised a hoof into the air. Twilight Sparkle, how did I know she would have question that I would have to answer.

“Yes, purple unicorn?”

“Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle and my question is, how did you know what posion joke was if you have never been here before?”

Oh shit. Error 404. Brain doesn’t know how to answer. This is the worst case scenario right now. I can’t answer this without ruining some possible friendships. “I…um…well”

“Johnson, if is alright with you, I believe I can answer this one.” Celestia rose from the pillow she had been seated on since the beginning of my story and made her way next to me in front of the room.

“Sure Princess,” I leaned in and whispered into her ear, “What are you talking about?”

She just gave a light chuckle and patted my back with a large wing. I took that as my cue to exit the stage. I sat down in between Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash. Both of whom stared at me and then back the Princes.

Princes Celestia coughed and cleared her throat. “Some of us here have heard of the ancient legends of Humans that used to live south of us.” A few ponies mumbled agreement around me. “These legends are very true. The Human race used to live here on this Earth. But something terrible occurred. The entire race was destroyed in a war against a plague that we know as the Nightmare.”

The Nightmare, of course. The journal from StrongSheild had said that it took over emotions, mainly anger and jealously. How could I have not made the connection? But Nightmare Moon had happened. The Humans before me had failed.

“The early Humans did everything they could to protect the world from this plague that called itself the Nightmare. The same one that affected my dear sister Luna. For this sacrifice the Humans made I felt that I had to repay them somehow. So I thought of spreading the ideas that we have here on this Earth to the other Earth were the new Humans live.”

Many ponies were quietly talking to one another. Right now, my brain felt like it was about to explode. Princess Celestia had sent My Little Pony to Earth to try and teach about love and friendship? And if Luna had be affected by the Nightmare, than the original Humans had failed.

“Now Johnson here knows a lot more about us then he is letting on. He knows all about the Elements of Harmony, Nightmare Moon, Discord and some aspects of everyday life in Equestria. Isn’t that correct Human?” She gave me a comforting smile and stepped to the side, giving me room to stand back up in the front of the crowd of pastel ponies.

I looked at the sea of eyes that followed my every movement. “That is right Princess Celestia. I know all of you to some degree. Twilight Sparkle the Element of Magic, Rainbow Dash the Element of Loyalty, Applejack the Element of Honesty, Rarity the Element of Generosity, Pinkie Pie the Element of Laughter, Fluttershy the Element of kindness, You all saved the day multiple times. And I know a lot of things. Winter Wrap Up, Pegasus weather patrol. Rainbow Dash, you want to be in the Wonderbolts. Rarity you had a huge crush on Prince Blueblood that failed horribly. I could go on, but I think that this is sufficient to prove Princess Celestia point.”

It was deathly quiet. You could hear a pin drop in the room.

Applejack broke the silence. “Well he ain’t lyin’ that’s for sure. He really does know all about us.”

Pinkie Pie jumped up and rushed up to me. “Don’t you guys get it? It’s like we have had a new friend all along! Now we have this Hu-mon as a friend! Oh this is going to be so exciting new hu-mon friend. We are going to make cupcakes, and play games, and sing lots of songs, and-mphmpmhphhmh”

Rainbow Dash quieted the rambling party pony with a hoof and spoke, “What she is trying to say, is that if you stay cool, you are more than welcome to stay here with us. But I got my eye on you bub.” With that she hovered over towards the snack table.

Everything began to calm down. Thanks to Princess Celestia’s small speech it seemed that I would be accepted in Equestria even though I knew a lot about everypony. I began making my way to the snack table when I felt a tug on my pant leg. I looked down to see the CMC all standing around me. I believe I may have contracted type two dibetus from the sweetness these 3 are.

“Ah hung onto you metal thing for ya’ like you asked Johnson.” Applebloom held up the metal dog tag for me. I lifted it from her hoof and attached back onto the other one hanging from my neck.

“What does it say mister?” Sweetie Bell asked in a polite quiet voice. She was very sweet, true to her name.

“Well it has my full name on it. Johnson, Ta-“ I was interrupted as Pinkie Pie let lose a wild scream and began to play music from a speaker system.

Everypony began to dance and jump around. I was alright at dancing, but I wanted to get some fresh air for now. I made my way outside where I sat down on the steps and looked up to the sky. Thousands of starts twinkled in the night. I did wonder where Luna was. I hope this wasn’t like season two where we only saw here for like 23 minutes.

“Howdy there Johnson” I recognized that drawl anywhere.

“I hope we are not interrupting anything.” I knew that refined voice anywhere too.

Applejack and Rarity trotted up behind me and joined me on the steps in front of Sugar Cube Corner.

“I would just like to extend my personal thanks for what you did yesterday out there near the Everfree forest. If you hadn’t been there…I just don’t know what would have happened to my little sister Sweetie Bell.” Rarity bowed her head.

“Ah wanted to also say thanks. Me and Macintosh and Granny Smith owe ya’ a lot for what y’all did. Ya’ put yourself in danger to protect ponies that couldn’t defend themselves. Me and the family talked it over, and we figured if ya’ don’t have a home, y’all are welcome to stay in the guest room at Sweet Apple Acers.” Applejack removed her hat and held it in front of her.

“And I would be happy to fix that sleeve and maybe make you a new ensemble to wear around.” Rarity perked up at the thought to design new clothing for another species.

“Well gosh Applejack and Rarity. I don’t know what to say. Thank you. Applejack I would love to stay in your home. But it probably won’t be till tomorrow. I have some things I need to collect form my camp in the Everfree. And Miss Rarity I would be honored to wear something designed by you, just maybe not covered in sparkly things. Remember the poison joke.”

They both agreed to my requests. Applejack would see me tomorrow afternoon and help me get moved into the new room, and Rarity would see me the day after to design a new outfit more suiting of Equestrian life. I already had an idea in mind. Can you say Combat Ranger?

I wouldn’t have her make the helmet, but the brown duster was a must. And the extra layer would add some protection to my body. It would also cover my pistol and knife well. And it just looks freaking badass. And I was all about badass.

I looked back into the night sky. Sure things hadn’t gone exactly to plan, but then again I was in a magical world of talking ponies that wasn’t supposed to be real, but it was. And My Little Pony had been plated on Earth by Princess Celestia as a way to repay the original humans that had lived on this Earth.

I stood back up and headed back into the party, I was dying to score some more of those cupcakes.

As I ate my 6th cupcake in a row, Princess Celestia handed me a rolled up scroll. “Read this when you are alone. And Think about it carefully Johnson. This is very important.” She smiled and walked out the door and onto a chariot being pulled by a team of Canterlot Guards.

I put the scroll in my pocket. Still have one mystery to solve about the original humans, and now a mystery scroll given to me by the Princess herself. Awesome, I have some missions to complete. The current one; eating this 7th cupcake.

The Apple Cider

The Apple Cider

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 14
By Honored Service

The party went on late into the night. The ponies all seemed to warm up to me to some degree. I wasn’t feared as much as I had been, but I still wasn’t accepted by most. They treated me as a neutral being. The mane 6 did treat me as a friend while other ponies just treated me as an acquaintance; but I expected this. I was a 6 foot tall, never been seen in thousand years creature. So I considered this whole thing to be going over quite well.

I told stories to the group of ponies about my adventures in the Millennium Falcon and how thanks to me the universe had been saved from an evil Empire. I also told the story of a robot that came from the future to kill me because I was going to save the world in later in my life. Yes I did rip of Start Wars and Terminator, but it was all in good fun and I think that they all knew I was making it up. Everypony was having a good time until Pinkie Pie brought out the Apple Cider.

Now in the show the apple cider had been nonalcoholic (I hope), but it was defiantly alcoholic at this party. I watched ponies start drinking the stuff and 2 cups later they would already be tipsy. Not drunk, but getting close to it. Either it was really strong stuff, or the colorful ponies just couldn’t handle their alcohol beverages.

“Hey *hic* Johnson. Why don’t y’all try some *hic* some of mah family’s special hard cider? *Hic*” Applejack had managed to stumble up to me with a mug of the beverage balanced on her head. It would be oh so rude of me to turn down a drink from a friend.

“Sure Applejack, one mug couldn’t hurt?” I gripped the mug in my hand and raised it up. “To a new life in a new wonderful world!” A round of stomping hooves echoed my statement. I tilted the drink back and downed it in one go. Hmm tasted just like soda. I smacked my lips; it tasted just like some kind of apple soda.

“Wow that is some good stuff Applejack.” The cowpony was just staring at me in disbelief. “What? Do have something on my face?” I wiped my hand across my mouth to make sure that I didn’t have any foam on my lips. Nope all good here.

She trotted off and came back with another mug. “Do that *hic* that again.” I picked up the mug and drank it just like the first. It honestly did taste like alcohol. Now I’m not a heavy party drinker, but I have been to some high school parties and I can handle my alcohol; but this wasn’t Earth alcohol. Like maybe .05%. Budweiser is stronger than this and that beer is like horse piss.

Applejack just stared at me after I finished the second mug and waved to Rainbow Dash across the room. “RD, get over here *hic* ya’ gotta see this fella *hic* drink this.” Rainbow flew over, nearly crashing into the celling twice, and landed next to Applejack.

“What is it AJ?”

“Rainbow, hoof him cider.” She nodded to me once Rainbow Dash hoofed me the mug of the frothy drink.

I downed it just like the last two. I was starting to wonder what was so amazing about me drinking this hard cider.

Rainbow’s eyes grew wide as she watched me. She turned around and grabbed Applejack by the shoulders. “AJ do you know what this means?”

“*Hic* Nah, What?” Applejack shock her head side to side trying to clear her groggy mind.

“We can have Johnson here,” She pointed at the space next to me, “beat that heavy weight, Berry Punch!” Raibow flipped into the air and landed on her back. Standing back up, she looked at me. “Will you do a drinking contest human Johnson?” She hiccupped in the most adorable way. The way only a cute and colorful pony can.

“Um yeah sure. I mean honestly this stuff tastes like soda to me, but a friendly challenge never hurt anyone right?” I shrugged and followed the two intoxicated mares towards another side of the room where a group of ponies had gathered around a single table that held a dark pink and purple pony. A few empty mugs were stacked around Berry Punch. She sat there looking normal other than for the slight blush across her muzzle.

“Hey *hic* Berry, we got a challenger for ya’.” Applejack got behind me and pushed me forward with her head. Thank goodness she wasn’t a unicorn that would have hurt.

“Yeah, and he’s totally gonna win.” Rainbow Dash slurred her words as she fell against the side of the table, causing a few of the empty mugs to roll onto the floor. She was out cold. Damn pegasus ponies must me-shades on- feather weights.

Berry slumped back in her chair unimpressed, and placed a mug of cider on her head. “Is that so?” She looked me up and down, sizing up the strange human in front of her. “Alright, challenge accepted.” She stuck out a hoof, and I took it in my hand and shock my hand once.

I sat down across from her as Pinkie Pie came out of nowhere and placed 25 mugs of cider in front of each of us.

“Okay everypony…and everyhuman, the rules are simple. Whoever can drink the most without; fainting, passing out, throwing up, falling, sleeping, throwing up again or skipping a drink wins. READYSETGO!”

I watched as Berry Punch slipped a hoof through the handle of the mug and downed it as fast I had done. Well I’m not about to be shown up at my party. I repeated the gesture and downed another. I’m a smart person; I wouldn’t let this get out of hand or hoof.

******************************************************************************
“Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!” The crowd that had now gathered around the table had tripled in size since the beginning of the drinking game. Basically it was a game to see who could pound back the most drinks the quickest. Berry Punch had started of faster than me, but I had caught up and was about to pass her. She was having a hard time focusing on the mug she was trying to grab. We were each on our 25th mug. I still wasn’t feeling a thing. Maybe like a sugar high or something but this pony alcohol just didn’t affect my metabolism or head.

“See Twilight, I *hic* told you that he could really-“ Thump! There goes Applejack. Rainbow Dash and Applejack where out for the night. Pinkie Pie was still bouncing around. I really wouldn’t want to challenge her to this game. I know that she could physically drink more than me, I would burst from the amount of liquid I would consume trying to beat her. I haven’t seen Twilight Sparkle or Rarity drink anything. And really I have only seen Fluttershy at the very beginning of the party. I guess she wandered off somewhere. I’ll talk to her later, since she didn’t stick around.

“Hm the human body must be extremely tolerant to the chemical makeup of alcohol.” Twilight pulled out a note pad and scribbled something down.

“Or it’s the fact, that to me, this is soda on my world.” I slammed down my 25th mug of hard cider just as Berry Punch put hers down.

“Howws that even posssssible? I can’t bel *hic* believe that you drank this much-“Thump! And down went the previous drinking champion. The ponies around the table stomped their hooves shouting, “Human! Human! Human! Johnson! Johnson! Johnson!” I stood up and bowed. I only wish that Berry was conscious so I could congratulate her on drink just as much as I did. Don’t want to be a dick to the ol’ girl.

“Really? This is like soda on your Earth? Very interesting. I wonder if that is just hard cider, or if all alcohol on this planet is like that?” Twilight made another few notes and trotted off. Most likely to plan some sort of experiment to test this new theory.

The party slowly began to die down after my drinking binge. Pinkie Pie gave me a small box filled with cupcakes. A note was attached to it.

Enjoy the Cupcakes!

Okay I needed to solve this mystery now. “So Pinkie, how do you know how to write in human?” I was very curious on how she possess the ability to do so.

She rolled her eyes at me and snorted. “That’s easy! All you have to do is take out the pony lettering and leave the funny human English lettering, duh.” She skipped off like nothing had happened. Really? Was it really that simple?

I walked over to a shelf that held a lots of cook books on it. The cover read; HunСdredто РReецcipептesов. After a few attempts I managed to cross eliminate the spelling and remove the non-English lettering and was left with, Hundred Recipes. Well I’ll be damned. Pinkie Pie had managed to break the Human-Pony writing barrier. It would just take time to read pony. I wouldn’t be able to speed read like Twilight, but I could at least read pony books and notes.

I followed a group of slightly intoxicated ponies out of the building and down the road back towards the woods. They waved good bye as they turned down another street. Now it was just me strolling to the Everfree forest.

“How was the party? Did everything go hearty?” Zecora trotted up behind me; joining me on my walk back to my camp in the dark forest.

“Well once the ponies got over the initial shock’ everything went quite well Zecora. I may still be just an acquaintance to most of the population, but it sure is a lot better than being feared.” We moved into the forest, the moon light being lost to the canopy of the trees.

“Yes I heard that it went well, that the ponies were under your speech spell.” We turned down the path heading straight for the zebra’s hut.

“Well I am a good public speaker. I just calmly explained everything, and told them stories from my home planet. They seemed to enjoy it.” We reached the door together. I bid the rhyming zebra a good night, and she did the same. Once she entered her home and shut the door, I walked off towards my lean-to camp. I placed the box of sugary treats near my half empty pot of protein solution and removed my holster and belt.

I replaced the firing pin in my rifle that was still resting against the tree where I had left it. I took of my jacket and hung it on the branch near my lean-to opening. Time for some sleep, tomorrow I would move my stuff to my new room in Sweet Apple Acers. So far, my life among the ponies was going well. As I laid down I felt the scroll crumble in my pocket.

“Oh yeah, what is this?” I was alone so I guess it was safe to read it. I wonder if I would have to take the time to translate the scroll first. I pealed of the royal seal which was a horseshoe, how appropriate, and unrolled the rough paper scroll.

Dear Johnson the Human,

I hope that you are finding your stay in Equestria to be pleasant. I would like to extend my thanks, along with my sister’s, for saving a group of my little ponies. I was elated to hear that they were saved by an unknown creature that walked on two legs and put itself in danger to protect them.

I’m sure that by now, you have heard of some of the ancient legends about the original Humans that once walked the Earth, and I’m sure that there are many questions you have regarding this. I will be happy to answer as many of them as I am able. Please have Spike (I know you know who this is) send a letter letting me know when you are able to meet. I will arrange a transport to the Castle, here in Canterlot.

My sister and I look forward to your response and hope to see you soon. It has been over a thousand years since I have spoken to a human, and the last time was full of grief.

Your friend,

Princess Celestia

P.S: If you are interested, perhaps we can work out a citizenship agreement for you.

Well it looks like I would solve the mystery of ancient humans sooner than I thought. And I wouldn’t have to sneak into the Castle to do it either. Things were going good…maybe a little too good. This letter seems to promise me answers, but I know answers are never free.

The Cutie Crusaders

The Cutie Crusaders

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 15
By Honored Service

I awoke to see the sun cutting through the heavy canopy of the Everfree forest. Even though I had almost been eaten by some of its natural creatures, I would miss the forest and its dark, gloomy setting. The Everfree was where I had been born anew in Equestria. It was dangerous and full of adventure; something that I had longed for, but I knew that I would have to leave it. I needed to continue my new life with the ponies, not the creepy forest.

I rolled up the bedroll that had been my bed for the past 9 nights and clasped it to the top of my backpack that was lacking a lot of the original supplies I had started off with. Looking around at the makeshift camp, I collected the few remaining belongings I had with me: my backpack, rifle, belt, holster, tactical vest and Army uniform. That was everything I had in this world. I was able to hold everything I owned on my person. It was a sobering moment to say the least.

Even though I knew I had few worldly possessions, I knew that great things were bound to happen to me. I was Equestria’s only human and that had some meaning behind it. I was going to discover what it meant to be an Equestrian Human.

******************************************************************************

“Thanks again for letting me borrow this pot to hold the protein drink Zecora. It really came in handy. The Apples have room for me in their home, so I’m not really going to need it anymore.” I was returning the clay pot back to the zebra, just as I had promised to do. I owed her more than she knew. Zecora had given me food, a suitable camp sight, and had healed me from a horrible wound that I had sustained from those damn Timber Wolves.

“Think nothing of it friend; I am glad to have met you in the end.” Zecora was hard to understand sometimes with her constant rhyming, but she always spoke true. I hoped that I would see her around Ponyville more often. She was a good friend and I hoped to repay her someday for her many acts of kindness she provided to me. I waved goodbye and headed off down the path towards Ponyville.

I came out of the Everfree and stepped into the warm sunlight that poured down from the heavens. The whole world seemed to emit a joyful vibe as a strolled down the dirt that lead to a farm nestled in the surrounding hills. I could see the tops of the apple trees bearing their delicious harvest, ready to be picked. I mean bucked. Ha-ha got to start adapting my vocabulary to match the local residents I would be living with.

The road leading into Sweet Apple Acers was just as the show had depicted. A white fence stretched its way along the front of the farm with a sign post displaying a large apple wrapped in a vine pattern. So this is it, my new temporary home. First had been the fire circle and stars. Second had been the lean-to in the forest. And now it was a guest bedroom with the Apples. I was making progress. And progress is good.

“Well howdy there Johnson!” Applejack came trotting up next to me from the apple orchard. She came up to my chest with her hat on. Ponies weren’t that much smaller than humans, about 4 ½ to 5 feet tall, mid chest level. Well except for the Princesses. Princess Celestia was a good foot taller than me.

“Hey Applejack. I hope I’m not too early.” I slung my rifle over to my other shoulder and continued to walk with the orange coated earth pony.

“Nah. Y’all are right on time. Is that all ya’ got?” She gestured to the backpack that was strapped to my back.

“Yes, this is it. I wasn’t really given a warning to pack before I was transported here.” I laughed at my little joke. Applejack just smiled politely and nodded.

“Well we’ll get you settled in the room. I know Applebloom has been excited as a pig in a mud hole to see ya’. She’s out back with her other two friends.” Applejack climbed swung open the screen door leading into the apple family abode.

I followed her in taking in my surroundings. I was finally getting a good look at my favorite pony’s home. So awesome.

The walls were adorned with lots of pictures and newspaper clippings that involved the Apple family one way or another. ‘Apple Helps Save the Day’, another read, ‘Most Dependable Pony’; it was a very family oriented home. I continued to follow Applejack down a hall to the last door on the bottom floor. She pushed in on the oak door and it swung open to reveal small cozy room. A double bed rested against the wall with a dresser across from it. Another door lead to what I guessed was the bathroom.

“Ah hope ya’ find this to your liking. Ah know it ain’t much for what ya did and all-“

I raised a hand to silence the hard working pony. “It’s perfect Applejack. Thanks for opening up you home to a relative stranger. I’ve been sleeping outdoors for over a week; this is like heaven to me.” I looked down to her and smiled, trying to show her that I really meant it.

“Well shucks Johnson. Applebloom trusts ya, so it’s easy for me to trust ya’. Y’all get settled in, and ah’ll call ya’ for lunch.” She turned and walked back down the hall awayr from my new room.

I sat the backpack on the bed and opened the back. Well let’s unpack and get moved in.

After 5 minutes, I had already emptied the backpack and sorted everything into the dresser. Considering that I only had the uniform I was wearing as clothing, it would be beneficiary to take Rarity up on her offer and get some new clothes. I could imagine that I was beginning to stink, even if I did wash the thing nearly every day.

I hung the tactical vest on the corner of the bed and rested the rifle against the head board next to where I would be sleeping. I kept the belt with my holster and BB on, deciding that without my weapons, I would be nearly useless. I was naked without them.

I was about to sort through my meager belongings again, when I heard laughing and giggling coming from the window next to the dresser. Looking out, I saw the CMC running around with their little red capes on in the backyard of the house. Time to go have some fun.

I walked out of the house only to be attacked by three adorable fillies.

“Johnson! See ah told ya he was moving in with me!” Applebloom ran around my legs dodging and weaving inbetween my steps and Sweetie Bell and Scootalo ran along beside me.

“That is so awesome Applebloom!” Scootalo jumped into the air as her wings made a buzzing sound.

“You are so lucky! Rarity said that he could have stayed at our place, but she said something about it being scandalous or something.” Sweetie Bell pouted a bit.

“Well Sweetie Bell, I’ll be coming by tomorrow, because your sister is helping design me some more clothes.”

Scootalo stopped in front of me with a questioning look on her face. “Why do you wear clothes anyway? Do you have nasty scales?”

“No, it’s because he has secret alien weapons under ‘em” Applebloom jumped onto her hind legs and motioned holding a rifle. “Like the big fire stick he used at the duck pond! Pew Pew!”

Sweetie Bell collapsed pretending to be hit by invisible bullets. I swear that id I stayed her any longer I would get sick from the levels of cuteness these 3 were producing.

“If you want to know the real reason, I’ll tell you.” I crouched down to the ground so I was on their level. I waved them in closer. The three ponies inched closer. I waved them closer again. They scooted closer.

“The real reason I wear clothes is…” I looked around acting to check if to see if we were alone; “Is because humans don’t have cutie marks. And I don’t want anypony to know that.”

I stood back up and watched the girls all smile up at me.

Applebloom spoke up first. “Johnson, we are all blank flanks too!”

Sweetie Bell and Scootalo nodded to each other and turned sideways so I could see their blank sides.

“While I’ll be, I guess I’m not the only one!” I knew that I was just messing with the 3 of them, but they were having fun thinking they were helping me break out my shell or something like that.

“In fact, ah bet we can make you an honorary Cutie Mark Crusader.” Applebloom waved the other two fillies into a huddle. I could hear them whispering to themselves and occasionally looking out of their circle to look at me, and then dive back into the discussion.

Applebloom coughed and trotted up to my legs. I took a seated position in front of the little foal so she stood at my eye level. “We will welcome ya’ into the Cutie Mark Crusaders…if you can complete the initiation ritual.” She gave a sideways glance to Scootalo and Sweetie Bell who both giggled.

“Oh boy, here we go.”

******************************************************************************

I found myself hiding in a bush alongside the road leading towards Ponville from Sweet Apple Acers.

“Are you sure about this Applebloom? I mean I’m still pretty new around here, what if I offend her or something?” I wasn’t exactly 100% into this initiation ritual I had to do. But I didn’t want to see these 3 fillies pout. God help me if I see them pout.

Sweetie Bell patted me on the back. “You can do it Johnson; you just need to wait for the signal. That’s all. When Scootalo has her in position, just scare her somehow. It will be priceless.” She rubbed her fore hooves together like an evil genius plotting a well evil scheme.

“Ok, but if I get bucked or hurt in anyway-“

“Shhhh she’s coming” Applebloom shoved a hoof into my mouth to silence me, before I could give away our location to the target.

I watched as Scootalo crested the hill being followed by Rainbow Dash. Aw shit. I had to prank the Queen of pranking. Well at least it wasn’t Pinkie Pie.

“It was over here in this ditch Rainbow Dash! But it was to fast for me to catch, so I figured someone as quick as you could get it.” I had to give it to that filly, she sure knew how to get Rainbow Dash’s attention.

“Rainbow rubbed a hoof across her chest. “Yeah, I could see that. So where is this bug?”

Scootalo pointed to the ditch opposite from where Applebloom, Sweetie Bell, and I were hiding. Oh God, I had to scare her. Hahaha somehow starring down the maticore had seemed easier than this.

Rainbow Dash flew over and landed in front of the ditch sticking her head down into it. “I don’t see anything squirt.”

“Oh it’s there, just keep looking Rainbow Dash; I really want to see you get it.” Scootalo pointed at me and nodded.

I slowly crept out of the bush and stepped lightly on the sides of my combat boots to avoid making as much noise as possible. I was almost right behind the rainbow manned pegasus. I slowly extended my hand till it was hovering right over Rainbow Dash’s back. With one finger, I traced down her spine till she slowly turned around.

“Boo.”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” She tore off so fast, that I was thrown backwards by the force of her take off. I raised my hand to my head to feel that my short hair had literally been blown backwards by the power of her wings.

The three little devils that acted like innocent fillies were rolling on the ground laughing. Scootalo was wiping a tear from her eye.

“That was amazing Johnson. You are definitely in.” She hopped up onto my left shoulder, while Sweetie Bell climbed onto the right one and Applebloom gripped onto the front of my chest, holding onto the breast pocket.

“Yup, ah say that Johnson is now a member of the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”

“I for one second the motion.” Came the response of the whir unicorn from my right side.

“Here, here.” Echoed a third from my left side.

“Welcome to the group Johnson. We all have a gift for ya’ back at the farm. Let’s get a move on!” Applebloom pointed a hoof off towards the direction of Sweet apple Acers.

“I’m going to have to carry y’all all the ways back; aren’t I?” Three nods confirmed this burden, but somehow I think I would manage this extra cute weight.

I was given directions to the Cutie Mark Crusader’s club house that was tucked into the corner of Sweet Apple Acers. I carried them into the clubhouse ducking low to avoid hitting my head on the celling. They jumped of me and stood in front of me waiting for me to take a seat.

“Please sit, and close yer eyes!” Applebloom commanded.

“And no peaking either!” Sweetie Bell added.

“Okay I promise.” I covered my eyes with the palms of my hands and waited for the okay to open them. I heard some shuffling around and something tip over. I started to lift one palm up.

“Hey no peaking!” Scootalo called out.

I shut my eye closed and covered it in the blink of an eye.

“Okay you can look now.” All three voices sang out to me.

I removed my hands and opened my eyes to see Applbloom, Sweetie Bell, and Scootalo all holding a patch up to me. It was the Cutie Mark Crusader patch. The little filly rearing up on its hind legs in a heroic pose. But the patch wasn’t on a cape, it was on a piece of Velcro.

“Rarity said something about that material on your arm being something like this. So I figured that we could make you a patch to fit there.” She pointed at the spot on my left arm that held the patch from my old battalion at the military college. I gently pulled that patch off and placed it in my chest pocket. And in its place I put the insignia of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

I smiled at the girls as we all headed back to the farm house. It was nearly lunch time, and I was starving. Time to get some apple treats.

Credit to this awsome military brony for the actual patch seen above. I want this one and the Celestia one for my uniform for next year. I’d be able to get away with it as a sophomore.

The Apple Farm

The Apple Farm

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 16
By Honored Service

The table in the Apple family kitchen was a bit crowded with its three extra guests. Sweetie Bell, Scootalo, and myself packed onto one side of the table while Applejack and Applebloom occupied the other side, leaving Big Macintosh and Granny Smith on the ends of the table. This was the first time meeting Big Mac and Granny Smith. Big Mac had given me a nod and simple thanks for saving Applebloom, but the look in his eyes has summed everything up quite nicely. I know he wanted to say more, but this wasn’t the place. Granny Smith welcomed me like another pony; she didn’t even seem to notice that I was 6 feet tall and gripped things with fingers.

The lunch we had was amazing. Every dish had some time of apple base in it. But this was the Apple family, so that was expected. Apple Salad with raisins and nuts. Apple pie with a light buttery crust. Apple cobbler that melted on your tongue. And the sweetest apple juice that I have ever tasted. It was a meal that I could eat every day and never get tired of it.

After the lunch I helped Applejack and Big Macintosh clean up the kitchen. Granny Smith sat in a rocking chair in the living room and was out like a light a minute later. The three fillies ran off to try and get their cutie marks. I would have to tell them that humans couldn’t get a magical mark on their body by figuring out what their calling in life was. Sure I had planned on getting a tattoo cutie mark when I finished freshmen year at the military college, but that wasn’t magical.

“So how do y’all like the farm?” Applejack asked me as she placed another dish into the cabinet above the sink.

“It’s amazing Applejack! The fresh air and the down to earth lifestyle is something I always loved. I always wanted to live on a farm and work with my hands. I may be human, but I’m an Earth pony at heart.” I pounded on my chest for emphasis.

Applejack and Big Mac looked at each other and shared a laugh.

“What? Y’all don’t think that I can do some hard labor? Back on my planet I was a hard worker. All through school I was nicknamed Work Horse, because all I did was physical labor.” This is true. I would always be the one that had to move desks and in theater major class time, guess who had to move all the sets and heavy props. This fucking guy.

Big Mac walked towards the back door leading out onto the far. “Well I guess we’ll just have to put that to the test; wont we?” He smiled and slowly trotted out of the house.

Oh hell no. I wasn’t going to live at Sweet Apple Acers and not harvest some apples. I had no source of income in Equestria. And where did every Fan/Fic human get their first job at…that’s right, Sweet Apple Acers. So now it was my turn.

I followed behind the large red pony towards the barn. Big Macintosh was actually at my eye level. I know that he had more muscles than me, but I was quicker…I think. We seemed to be getting along well enough. I mean I had saved his little sister. So hopefully I could call this stallion my friend. Eventually.

Applejack stepped in front of me and began pushing me away from the barn. “Hold on there pardner. Ahm going to teach how to buck an apple tree, then we’ll see if ya’ are made of the right stuff to work here with us.” We plodded up to a tree that was first in line on a row.

“Now apple bucking isn’t all about strength. It’s where ya’ deliver the kick. That’s what gets all the little apples out of the trees.” To demonstrate Applejack lifted one back leg and kicked the trunk of the tree. A few dozen of the red fruit rained down onto the ground. Man, she made that look way to easy.

I walked up the tree and examined it. Now I didn’t have hard hooves like her, but I had combat boots, and those were kind of the same…right?

In a motion that would have made the original Karate Kid proud, I stood on one leg and lashed out with a fast kick to the center of the tree, delivering a flat foot kick to the trunk. 5 whole apples fell to the ground. I turned and looked at Applejack desperately seeking her approval of my work.

“Well ah’ll be. For a first timer that was pretty good. We may just need to adjust your approach, but I figure we can keep you around.” Well it wasn’t exactly a standing ovation, but at least I had gotten some recognition for my work.

After an entire row of trees bucked I had truly found my technique to buck tress. And it wasn’t actually bucking. A human just isn’t physically strong enough to buck a tree and clear it of it apples; but I found a way that helped clear all the trees faster than before. Climbing into the branches of one tree, I found that by jumping from one tree to the next in a continuous motion would cause the branches to shake so much that the apples would come falling to the ground.

I couldn’t attack the trunk of the tree to get the fruit down, but by attacking the branches, I could harvest apples as fast as Applejack working the row nest to me. So to sum up by harvesting technique, I would Assassins Creed Free Run tree to tree not stopping till I finished that row. Momentum was my ally in this apple bucking game.

Applejack was pleased with my method of harvesting; even though she called it a, “fancy circus act,” but I knew she was jealous that she didn’t have hands to climb the trees with my grace and skill. Okay so it wasn’t exactly the true earth pony way to harvest apples, but I was doing my best.

By the time the sun had begun to set Applejack and I were moving through the rows of apple trees collecting the fallen fruits. I was good at pulling the large wagon. I pulled the wagon, while Applejack and Big Macintosh would toss apples into the back of it. We made a pretty good team. Big Macintosh said I was good enough that I could work with them this apple bucking season. Sweet, dreams do come true.

Supper at the Apple family homestead was again all apple based products but man oh man was it good. Apple tarts with lots of milk, and apple sweet rolls with apple jelly. I don’t think I’m ever going to get sick of apples.

After everpony had finished eating, we began to settle down for the night. I retired to my room and removed my jacket and pants. Oh yeah it was time for new clothes and armor. I walked into the bathroom and turned on the shower. After a few failed attempts of adjusting the water temperature; I was finally able to get it to a reasonable setting and began to scrub off the dirt and sweat I had acquired from the day of work and play.

I shut off the water and stepped out into the steamy bathroom. Using my hand, I wiped off the condensation and looked at myself for the second time since coming to Equestria. Wow. I forgot how much I had really changed. I looked that same, but with more bolded…outlines? Yeah outlines. My hair was shaggier but still relatively short compared to the manes all the ponies had. It didn’t even reach the collar of ACU (Army Combat Uniform). It was still brown, but with that wired combination of red, yellow, and orange streaked in it. Results from whatever caused me to come here maybe? I was still just as buff as I had been on Earth at the military college. It was a military college. Just imagine Full Metal Jacket and that’s about my daily routine; but with more professors and classes. About 200 pushups and 9 mile runs were just standard fun activates we got to partake in every day.

I rubbed the rough stubble that had developed on my chin. That would defiantly get me chewed out by some upperclassmen if I was still on Earth. I open the bathroom door to get my slightly smelly boxers only to see Applejack standing there getting a full look at an unclothed human.

“Shit Applejack!” I dove back into the bathroom slamming the door with a loud bang. “Can’t you knock or something! I was naked!”

“Well sorry, we don’t normally wear clothes! Ahm sorry, here ah’ll leave and come back in a second.”

I heard the mare close the bedroom door, and walk down the hall. I stepped out into the bedroom; making sure that I was alone this time and getting dressed in boxers and pants. As soon as my pants were on, a knock sounded on the door.

“Okay it’s all clear this time.” I was just going to laugh this off. Accidents happen. Applejack opened the door, her face was a bit red, but I’m sure mine was too. We were kind of stuck in an awkward quiet moment. Involving a lot of looking side to side and hoof shuffling.

“So that’s what y’all humans look like, huh?” She laughed a bit. I laughed too. She was trying to make it better. Give and take.

“Yup that was a full-fledged naked human. *cough* so you wanted to talk about something?” I sat on the edge of the bed ready to move over this whole ‘I just saw you bare ass naked’ thing.

“Oh yeah, haha forgot about that for a moment there. Ah just wanted to say thanks for the help did today. Me and Mac really would like to have stay here and work with us. Ah mean you don’t owe us this or anything. We owe ya’ for saving little Applebloom and yet here ya’ are working just as hard as us.” I held up my hand to get her to stop talking. I didn’t like taking handouts. I needed to explain to her that I wanted to work for my staying here.

“Applejack, I want to work. I want to build a relationship with everypony in Ponyville. I need to be accepted and by working like a pony I hope to achieve that goal. I still need to prove that I’m a good creature and not an enemy.” I laid back on the bed as Applejack sat on her haunches at the side of the bed.

“I also really want to get to know everypony better. I mean not like Pinkie Pie know everypony, but enough were I can be seen as a friend to a lot of ponies.” I turned and looked at her. “Ya know?”

“Ah think I understand Johnson. You want some friends that know you.” She nodded her head after he sentence.

“Yes exactly! I want to be accepted. Not a new creature that’s different, but as another creature that just lives in Ponyville.”

“Well human, keep up that attitude and ah know that yer going to be loved by everypony. You got half the town behind you because of saving them foals. And the party Pinkie threw showed that yer publicly nice.” She stood up and began moving towards the door.

“Ah’ll wake ya’ up nice and early to help on the west orchard tomorrow. And after lunch ya’ need to head into town and see Rarity. She wants to make yer clothes or something.”

“Okay Applejack. Thanks again for everything.” I watched the door shut and her hoof steps faded down the hallway.

I laid awake just staring up at the celling. This was going perfectly. I had a job and a home. Well temporary home. I was making friends and I would get new clothes tomorrow so hopefully I wouldn’t stink so much. And then I would get some answers from the Princess. Maybe my luck truly had changed for the better since saving the group of foals.

I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and walked to the window. I stared at the Everfree forest and could have sworn I saw something with glowing red eyes stare back at me. But I blinked and it was gone. Probably just my mind playing tricks on me.

I climbed back into bed and closed my eyes. Yeah everything was going just great.

****************************************************************************

“Wake up Johnson! It’s time for Breakfast!”

I slowly cracked my eyes open to see a yellow filly bouncing up and down on my chest, trying to kill me with this level of cuteness so early in the morning.

“Ugh ok I’m up. I’m up.” I sat up as Applebloom bounded of my chest and onto the floor.

“Ya’ better get ready so we can eat and get to work ya’ sleepy head!” And with that the filly dashed out of the room and down the hall.

I rolled out of bed and groggily made my way into the bathroom to splash some water on my face.
“Ahhh, much better!” I picked up my ACU jacket and belt and walked down the hall putting everything on as I entered the kitchen.

“Morning everypony.” I called out to the assembled Apple family.

“Mornin’ sonny.”

“Eeyup.”

“Howdy.”

“Good mornin’ again Johnson!”

After a delicious meal of apple pancakes with lots of syrup, I joined Applejack in the west orchard to begin harvesting more apples. I stretched for a minute and then began my custom apple harvesting style. I was a little sloppy at first, but I was still waking up. It took two passes on the same row to get back into my rhythm, but then I was on fire. Knocking apples down left and right. Before I knew it, Applejack and I had already half of the west orchard done by the time Applebloom came trotting up to us with a picnic basket balanced on her head. We had a lovely lunch of apple sandwiches. They were simple, but damn they were good. Apple slices with caramel and honey in between some bread, so simple and yet it tied everything together so well.

“Alright Johnson, now get movin’ to Carousel Boutique. If yer late, Rarity will never let me live it down.” Applejack waved me off as I headed down the long road leading to the small town that was bustling with midday activity.

Ponies didn’t run from me, but they did tread carefully around me. I understood this, I was still pretty new here, but I was making some forward progress. At least nopony was running in terror from me.

Now where is Carousel Boutique? It’s a tall white and purple building. How hard could it be to find? I spun around in a circle and saw Big Mac standing next to the apple cart.

“Hey Big Macintosh!” I waved at him from across the market square. Jogging up to him I asked him which way to the fashionista’s business. He simply turned and pointed a hoof towards the correct direction.

“Thanks Big Macintosh.” I called out to the stoic farmer as I made my way down the cobblestone road. Sure enough I saw the pointed top of the clothing store and quicken my pace to reach the pony that was tied for first with Applejack. Miss Rarity.

I promise that things will pick up soon. Johnson is going to meet up with the Princesses and alot of background information will be cleared up. And then time for some action.

The Dressing Up

The Dressing Up

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 17
By Honored Service

I reached the elegant white and purple building in the shopping district of Ponyville. Compared to the surrounding buildings Carousel Boutique was a lot taller than everything else. From the show I knew it had at least two stories, but here it looked like it had three at least. I'll find out soon enough.

I saw a small white button next to the regal purple door.

Ding Dong Dong Ding

I could hear the bell melody from out here as it rang throughout the shop. I removed m hand from the door bell and waited.

"Coming darling! Just a moment." The trotting got louder and the door was finally opens by the shop's owner.

"Good afternoon Rarity." I bowed ever so slightly. I could always respect Rarity's attitude and manners. I was raised down south were chivalry and manners still meant something. (And that the Civil War wasn't over) "I hope that I have arrived at the appropriate time."

Rarity returned my bow and stepped aside allowing me entrance to her store. "Of course Johnson, right on time. Dear Applejack said she would send you over after lunch and she didn't lie." Rarity smiled and laid down on a large red velvet couch.

She nodded to a chair across from her. I took the hint and placed myself in it.

"Ok darling, please tell me everything about fashion from your world! What colors are in? What style is mainly never out of make? Do humans wear those clothes all the time? What is the average price on personal styled attire? Who designed that... um lovely ensemble you are sporting?" she cracked a large smile and fluttered her eyelashes at me.

Wow Rarity had totally just pulled a Pinkie Pie rant there. Well let's try to answer some of the girl's questions.

"Rarity I may not be able to answer all of those questions because for the last 6 months I was issued a uniform to wear every day. My personal fashion wasn't up to me. What I'm wearing now is the Army Combat Uniform. It was my standard uniform."

Rarity nodded and pulled out a large sketch pad and began to draw on it. I tried to look over it, but she pulled it closer against her chest keeping me from seeing what she was designing.

"Well I'm sorry to hear that dear. Being told what to wear all the time. How boring. Now do you have any ideas to what you want or should I just guess for you?"

Oh I had some ideas alright. First I needed this right sleeve stitched up. I was keeping this Army uniform. It was a part of me. It helped remind me of what I was. A protector.

Second I needed a more fiction type of armored clothing. Something that would look more cartoony badass-ish. And the Fallout New Vegas NCR combat armor was what I had in mind. Badass brown duster covering my holster and ammo belt as well as Bad Bertha. I could also just wear the tactical vest under the duster as well. It wasn't black, but maybe Rarity could dye it gray blackish for me.

And thirdly I needed some clothes that didn't look so scary. Maybe some jeans and a button up shirt. I didn't want to look threatening all the time.

I explained to Miss Rarity what I had in mind. The tears in my Army uniform were fixed in literally a second. She smiled as she let my arm out of the telekinesis grip that had held it still while she stitched it.

"Wow! That was fast Rarity, thank you."

"Oh think nothing of it darling. Now how about something challenging?" She smirked at that last part. Rarity was having fun designing clothes for a new species.

Using a piece of sketch paper, I made a very crude drawing of the duster and belt that I wanted her to try and make. I made sure she knew that I wanted Velcro patches on the sleeves of it like my Army uniform had. She made a note of it on her sketch paper.

"Now pants to go with it? What would you like?" she looked up at me from her couch.

I scratched my chin stubble. Aw what the hell. "Whatever you think would look intimidating and tough Rarity. I'll leave it up to you. But the belt needs to be strong. Everything on this outfit needs to be tough so it protects me as much as possible."

Her eyes widened and she immediate scribbled feverishly for a few minutes before smiling up at me and turning the page.

"And last thing Rarity." She beamed at me. She really was enjoying this cross species clothing designing. "Could I have some normal clothes? Somethings that isn’t scary or intimidating. Jeans and some button up shirts. You know normal things. Some socks and boxers would be nice too."

She drew some more in her sketch pad; but then bit her lip and looked at me with a questioning glance.

"What are boxers darling?" She turned her head at an angle and looked me up and down.

"Um boxers are basically thin pants that I wear under my regular pants." I was trying to not get into too much detail. I had already been exposed to one pony. No need to try and have Rarity faint in the description of this true purpose.

"But why would you wear pants under pants? I understand layers when it's cold and wintry but why now in summer?" oh my gosh she wasn't going to let this go. Dear God why do you do this to me.

"Okay how can explain this delicately." My face was turning a bit red at this point. "Humans reproductive organs don't go inside of them like stallions."

Rarity open and closed her mouth like a fish. She turned red and nodded her head furiously.

"Oh ha-ha okay. So sorry darling that I made you explain that." She picked up a paper fan from a shelf with her magic and began to fan herself.

"It's fine Rarity. At least you didn't walk in on me naked." I laughed and saw Rarity raise an eyebrow at me.

"Now this is a story that will need some tea darling." she trotted through a door to the rift and into the kitchen. After a minute or two I heard a tea pot whistle and Rarity came back in levitating a tray with cups, sugar, milk and a steaming pot of tea.

"Now about this story dear...?"

**************************************************

"And she says, 'but we don't normally wear clothes!" We both shared a laugh over our tea.

"Oh that sounds just like our Applejack! Well I guess she learned her lesson the hard was darling." Rarity levitated her cup to her lips and sipped some of the wonderful tea she had made. It was a type of strawberry tea. It was pretty good, and it was incredibly sweet.

I looked down at my watch and saw that it was nearing 4 in the afternoon.

"Alright Miss Rarity, I'll depart soon. I'm sure that you have work to do. I'd hate to keep you from it." I stood up and placed the tea cup back onto the tray.

"Well thank you Johnson for the story. And I'll begin working on your new ensembles tonight. You should be able to get them in a day or two." Rarity escorted me to the door and the door handle glowed with her light blue magic as it opened.

"Thank you for the tea Miss Rarity, and thank you for my new clothes. I'm sure they will be magnificent." I bowed to her and stepped out into the street.

"Ta Ta darling!" the door closed shut behind me as I walked back towards the market. I wonder if Big Macintosh was still at the apple stand.

I rounded the corner and ran into a cream yellow pony.

"Oh I'm so sorry!" I scrambled up and helped the other pony up.

"It was my fault really. I... I wasn't looking where I was going...sorry again." I had just ran into Fluttershy. She was slowly backing away from me. I was towering over her. I kneeled in front of her, putting me on her level.

"Well sorry again. Hey, we haven't properly meet yet." I stuck out my hand; maybe a little to fast because the easily startled Pegasus flinched from it. "My name is Johnson. And you must be Fluttershy."

She carefully put her hoof in my hand and I gently shook her hoof. "Yes. I'm Fluttershy. Um thanks for saving the foals from the Timber Wolves. I... just wished you didn't....have to kill them though."

Ah that's why I hadn't seen much of Fluttershy. She must be truly terrified of me. She worked hard to help animals and I had ended the life of 4 wolves. I wonder if she knew about the manticore. Oh man I hope that wasn't the same manticore from the pilot.

"I'm sorry about that Fluttershy, but I had no choice. They were going to attack the foals." Come on Johnson don't get all soft. You are a solider...in training.

"I just wish that I had been there. I could have tried using reason or my Stare on them. That way nopony or nowolf would have gotten hurt." Fluttershy is just too sweet for her own good. Unless her stare really is that powerful to stop 4 Timber Wolves.

"Yea me too, Fluttershy. I don't like having to kill unless it's absolutely necessary."

"I better get back to Angel Bunny. He wanted some special radishes for a dish I was making for him." Fluttershy waved good bye and continued on her errands.

I
'm glad I was able to finally meet another one of the mane 6. Let's see here, I met Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Twilight Sparkle, and Rainbow Dash; but that was very briefly. I still need to see if she is okay from the scare I have her yesterday.

"Hey Big Macintosh. Everything going good?" I spotted the large red stallion from across the market square.

He waved and said, "Eeyup. Y'all see Miss Rarity?"

I leaned up against the side of the stand. "Sure did. We talked about some new clothes that I'm going to get. It should help me not stink so much, wearing the same thing day after day."

He chuckled, "Ah wondered what that smell was."

"Oh excuse me for not packing more clothes when I was pulled into the world!" I lobbed a bruised apple at him, which he
caught and placed under the stand. Good reflexes.

"So ya' gonna stick around here and help me close up the stand?" He removed a half empty basket of apples from the shelf on the stand and placed it on the wagon behind the stand.

"Sure, why not? I don't have anything else to do." Big Macintosh would hoof me a basket of apples and I would stack them on the wagon. Soon I noticed a small crowd of ponies gathering a small distance away watching the two workers packing up the stand.

"Hey Big Macintosh; do you usually get this kind of audience when closing shop?" He looked up from his work and saw the group of ponies standing across the square.

"Eenope. Must have come to watch ya I reckon." he picked up another basket in his mouth and carried it over to me. I grabbed the handle and placed on top of another empty container.

"Well what should I do? I'm just working."

The red pony just rolled his shoulders as a shrug and continued to pack everything up.

"Hi everypony." I waved at the gathering of pastel ponies.

Some of the ponies turned the other direction and trotted off talking quietly to themselves. While two ponies walked over to me. A sea foam green unicorn and a tan earth pony. Lyra and Bon Bon.

"Hello there human!" Lyra was speaking loudly and very slowly. Oh boy, this was going to be fun. "My name is Lyra Heartstrings and this is my friend Bon Bon. I studied ancient human culture at the Canterlot University. Do you understand me?" she waved her hooves a lot while she was talking. I guess she thought that would help me understand.

I looked at Bon Bon and smiled at her, making sure that the sharp canine teeth were seen.

"Excuse me ma'm, but this unicorn is communicating with me, could you please be an interpreter for us?" Bon Bon laughed and Lyra blushed a little.

"Yes Lyra, I can understand you. How are you two mares doing today?" I asked them while loading the last of the empty apple baskets onto the wagon.

"Well we were on our way to get some dinner at the Four Horseshoes, when Lyra here wanted to stop and talk to Equestria's only human." Bon Bon turned to her friend who smiled and nodded in conformation.

"Well I'm flattered that I have caught your attention Lyra. What can I do for you?" I could recall so many FanFics revolving around the human crazed pony, but so far she seemed normal.

"I was wondering of you could read over some papers I have written about human emotions and culture. Having a real live human co-editor would be a dream come true!" The smile on her face would have made Pinkie Pie break into song.

"I would be happy to help you Lyra; but I'm not an expert on Equestria's humans. They were here over a thousand years ago. I've been here for 10 days." I didn't see how I could help her with her research. Lyra probably knew more about the Equestrian humans than I did.

"Oh I know that," she said waving off my comment, "These papers are focusing on the new species of humans. Well human."

"I can help with that. So you just need me to explain about my species of humans?"

"That's right! Simple and easy! Will you do it?" She scooted closer to me than I was comfortable with.

"Absolutely! I'll do anything to get my species into the history books. And having ponies know more about me will hopefully change some opinions. When are you going to be working on these papers?"

"I'm working with Twilight Sparkle on them. Stop by tomorrow and we can start the first paper."

She started cantering off with Bon Bon in tow.

"First paper out of...?" I hollered after the pair of ponies.

"55!" Lyra called back rounding a corner down another street.

"Fuck." What have I gotten myself into.

I heard a deep chuckle come from behind me.

"Looks like ya' just bit off more than ya' can chew."

"Oh shut up Big Macintosh. How was I supposed to know it wasn't going to be a one shot?" I walked alongside the red work horse.

"What the hay does that mean?" Big Macintosh said as he pulled the wagon back towards Sweet Apple Acres.

"Ugh never mind. Let's just get home and eat. I'm so hungry I could eat a hor....hornet. So hungry I could a hornet. Yup."

"Ya' humans have some weird sayings."

The Ancient Ones

The Ancient Ones

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 18
By Honored Service

Big Macintosh and I walked up to the kitchen door just as Applejack was joining the rest of the Apple family for dinner. Taking the seat next to Applebloom and across from Applejack we dug into the meal that Granny Smith had cooked for us. Apple fritters with apple fries. I swear, by the time I leave Sweet Apple Acres, I’m going to be overweight from all the delicious apple products that they make.

“So did y’all have a productive designing session with Rarity?” Applejack asked in between a mouthful of apple fritter.

“We sure did. I got this jacket fixed and am having her create a few new outfits that should allow me to have a variety of things to wear.” I popped my final apple fry into my mouth and savored the flavor of the crisp treat.

“Glad to hear that. Ah bet Rare was mighty excited to make something for another species.” The mare said before grabbing her class of apple juice and drinking it down.

“Sweetie Bell told me that Rarity started working on it *burp* as soon as ya’ left Carousel Boutique. She said one of the outfits looked kinda’ scary.” Applebloom turned and looked up at me. She had crumbs from her dinner all over her muzzle. God this filly was too cute.

“Yeah, I told her to make one of them scarier than the others. It’s going to be my new armor that I’ll wear around town.” I wiped my mouth on my napkin and leaned back in my chair. Ahhhh yeah, that was a good supper. It hit the spot after a day of working and walking around Ponyville.

“Applejack tomorrow I need to see Twilight Sparkle and have Spike send a letter to the Princess for me; something about citizenship to Equestria or something.” Okay I wasn’t exactly telling her the whole truth, but I would tell my friends about what happened to the original humans once I found out myself.

“That should be fine Johnson. We just gotta finish the West orchard, but that shouldn’t take too long. Ah reckon you can head into town after breakfast. Twilight should be up.” Applejack picked up her plate and carried it over to the sink. Just like after last night’s dinner, I helped Applejack and Big Macintosh clean up the dishes and put everything away.

After the kitchen had been cleaned, I moved down the hall to my bedroom. Removing my jacket and hanging it up against the bed post I made my way into the small bathroom to shower before bed. I was able to get the water just right this time around without freezing myself or burning myself. This time checking to make sure the coast was clear I got dressed for bed and settled down for a long nights sleep.

While I tried to fall asleep I kept feeling like something was watching me. I made sure that my rifle was close by. Sleeping with my rifle isn’t some insecurity, I just was a little lonely that’s all. I wasn’t scared of anything.

******************************************************************************

I woke up slowly this morning. No adorable bouncing filly as an alarm clock today. I threw on my pants and jacket and walked down the hall to the sounds of breakfast.

“Well morning’ there Johnson!”

“Eeyup”

“Was ah supposed to wake em’ up?”

“What needs to be washed up?”

“Good morning Apples!” I think this was a pattern that I wouldn’t mind falling into. Today’s breakfast consisted of waffles and apples. And more pancakes. I was definitely going to ve to step up on my physically activity. I didn’t want to get sluggish with all this fattening food in me.

Leaving the kitchen, I returned to my bedroom and got dressed for the day ahead of me. I had no idea if I was going to meet the Princesses today, or just arrange the meeting. I’ll prepare just in case I do go today. I buckled my belt that held my holster, knife, ammo, and canteen. I also through on my tactical vest, but I left in unzipped. No need to be completely professional today, I wasn’t roaming the Everfree. Lastly I slung my rifle across my back and headed for the front door.

“Have a good day Johnson. Supper will be ready at 6!” A southern voice called out to me as I walked down the road leading to Ponuville.

“Okay, thanks Applejack, I’ll be back for it!” I waved at her over my shoulder and continued on my way towards the center of Ponville. I think that’s where the big library tree thing is.

I only had to ask for directions twice, but I finally found the Ponyville Public Library. I walked up to the door and knocked three times on it.

“It’s open! Spike, did you change the sign to open?” I heard Twilight yelling at the poor, overworked dragon from this side of the threshold.

“Not yet Twilight, and it’s not even 8 yet.” I opened the door to see Spike standing on a large stack of books. He took one look at me walking into the library and yelped while jumping back. This caused the stack of books he was perached on to become off balanced and send him toppling to the floor.

“TWILIGHT! A hairless diamond dog is attacking!” I soon found myself diving for cover as books sailed over my head and crashed into the wall behind me. I dove behind a large wooden table as more books and scrolls landed all around my position.

“Spike! Spike! SPIKE!” I heard a loud Pop and a fizzle as Twilight magically appeared on the table I was hiding behind. “This is the human I was telling you about. Honestly, did you not read those tomes I pulled out? This is clearly a bipedal, lightly haired sentient creature that does not have claws.” Twilight hopped off the table and strode around to face me.

“He-he sorry about that Johnson; are you okay?” She began to levitate a few of the books turned weapons and place them back on their shelves and stacks.

“Oh yeah, I’m fine. The Timber Wolves did more damage.” Spike sheepishly stepped around the edge of the chair he had been using as a base.

“Um sorry about that Johnson. I was just a bit startled by you.” He scratched the back of his head while looking around the room.

“Don’t sweat it Spike. I’m fine. Everything is ok other than the fact; I dove out of the way from a few scrolls.” We all shared a light laugh as the rest of the thrown objects were lifted into the air by Twilight’s magic aurora.

“Well now that that’s out of the way, what can I do for you Johnson?” Twilight trotted over to me and sat herself on her haunches staring at me.

“At the party, Princess Celestia gave me a note that said to contact her when I had some free time. I need to talk to her about citizenship since I’m kind of an alien still here.” I did want to become a citizen of this land. The chances of me wanting to return home were -100%. I was going to make my new home in Equestria.

“Ah well that shouldnt be hard to do. Spike, take a message for the Princess…” I waited for Twilight to dictate the letter to Spike.

*cough* “Aren’t you going to tell him what to write?” Twilight pointed towards the purple dragon clutching a piece of parchment and a feather quill.

“Oh me? I get to tell him what to write?” Was this really going to happen? Wow another dream coming true. How exciting!

“How should I start? I don’t want to seem rude or bossy.” I looked at Twilight pleading for help. I didn’t want to mess this up. I only got one chance to send a letter to the Princess.

Twilight rolled her eyes and cleared her throat. “Dear Princess Celestia.” She then looked back at me and trotted out of the room.

Ah, that was an easy way to start.

“Dear Princess Celestia,
This is Johnson the human. I am answering your invitation to attend a meeting with you and your Sister to discuss my citizenship into Equestria. I wait for your response.
Your alien friend,
T. Johnson”

I waited for the scratching to stop as Spike looked up to me to confirm that was all I wanted written.

“Okay Spike, send it please.” I nodded as he blew green fire onto the rolled up scroll and it vanished up into the sky.

Wow that was…pretty easy. I thought it would a bit more dramatic. Whatever, it was still a small dream that came true.

“So what does the T stand for Johnson?” Spike asked as he climbed up onto the chair next to me examining my uniform and rifle. He reached out a claw and tried to grip the rifle. I simply turned away a bit so it was out of his reach. I didn’t want a hole through my foot.

“Oh it stands for Ta-BURP- wow that was a quick response!” I grabbed the scroll that was hovering in the air over Spike’s head.

I peeled off the royal seal and unrolled the parchment. And read the message allowed to the reptile next to me.

“Dear Johnson,
My Sister and I look forward to seeing you momentarily. We will be arriving to collect you in person in…now.
Princess Celestia”

“What the hell does that mean?” I looked at Spike who just shrugged his shoulders and bounced off the chair and headed into the room Twilight had wandered away to.

I was about to go ask Twilight when a blinding white light caused me to back up and cover my eyes to avoid long lasting blindness.

“What in the world?” I called backing up against the wall of the library as the light slowly faded out. And I was left staring at Princess Celestia and Princess Luna on the other side of the room.

I hit the ground in a bow faster than you can blink.

“Please rise human; you are not bound to Equestrian manners yet, and you don’t need to bow to me…yet.” I heard the regal motherly voice of Celestia call out to me.

“Tia, I though you said that he was taller?” I listened as Luna tried to whisper to Celestia.

“Not now Luna.” She lightly pushed Luna back as she stepped forward and extended a hoof towards me. I reached out my hand and shock her hoof. I repeated the gesture to the slightly smaller dark alicorn.

“Well human, let’s not waste time! There is much that we would wish to discuss with you!” Luna didn’t speak in the Royal Canterlot Voice, but she did speak with some enthusiasm.

“Twilight, I’m going to barrow your friend Johnson for a bit!” Celestia calmly called out to the other room.

I guess Twilight didn’t get all worked up about the Princess as much as she did in the show. I mean she had been basically here daughter for her foal hood.

“Okay your majesty; just remember that he hasn’t ever teleported before.” Twilight responded from the room next door.

Wait why should she remember tha----------------------

“WHAT THE FFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKK! SWEET MOTHER OF GOD! WHAT KIND OF Hell is this….” I collapsed onto the cold marble floor of the throne room. At least I think that’s where I am. Right now I was seeing 13 Celestias and 11 Lunas all dancing around me. And I tasted fish sticks and banana custard for some reason. I never wanted to teleport again. It had felt like my body had been put into a taffy machine and stretched in a thousand different directions while simultaneously getting curb stopped in the balls.

“Oh quiet now Johnson. You are causing a scene.”

When the room stopped spinning and I saw only two alicorns, I picked myself up off the white floor.

“Can I have some warning next time please?” I still wasn’t really in a good mood.

“Nah! Because then thou would have expected it, and your reaction to teleportation wouldn’t have been as honest!” Luna smiled and pranced by me to join Celestia in walking towards to large thrones at the end of a long red carpet.

“Now Johnson, I believe you have some questions about the ancient ones before we discuss you position in Equestrian society.” Celestia seated herself in her throne and watched me with patient eyes. Luna joined her in a throne on her right side. Out of nowhere; a chair popped into existence behind me and scoped me up. I flew and landed right in front of the two immortal Goddesses.

“Yes. What happened to them? That’s what I really want to know. If I know what happened then I think I can piece everything together and know what it means to be an Equestrian human.” I waited for the Princesses to let me in on the answers that I so desperately wanted.

Celestia looked to her sister and then back to me. “We cannot tell you Johnson.”

WHAT! Why the fuck not, I was screaming in my head. I was so close to finding out some answers and now this shit happens. I swear if this some bullshit soul journey quest-

“—But we can show you.” I looked up to see her giving me a little smirk. Wow, she really is fucking Trollestia. Damn it.

“Alright. Show me.” I was prepared to see the answers to my questions I have had since reading that excerpt from the book Zecora had lent me.

Celestia got up from her throne and moved forward till she was standing in front of me. She lowered her horn till it came to rest on my forehead and I felt a sensation of cool water running over my head.

******************************************************************************

I found myself standing on top of a mountain staring at a large grassy field with a city far off in the distance. From this far away it looked like the skyline to New York City. Tall buildings stretching up into the sky. That must be Hum-gia, the ancient city of the Equestrian Humans.

My shadow had a flowing mane, wings, and a horn. I was watching this unfold through the eyes of Princess Celestia. A voice spoke next to the Princess. I/She turned her head to gaze down at a human. He was roughly my size. He had a look of authority on his face. Long flowing brown hair blew in the breeze as he placed a bronze helmet over his head. It looked very similar to a ancient Greek Spartan helmet.

“This is the only way Celestia. Your defenses are no match for it. I know this because we are unable to stop it.” He wore bronze armor all over his body. It was layered like samurai armor from Japan in the 18th century. Two long swords were attached to a sash that was wrapped around his waist. Two smaller blades were attached to his thighs. He looked epic. I was amazed at this ancient human that stood next to me in this memory.

“We could join forces, SheildStrong, together we could stop the Nightmare.”

“We both know that would end disaster Princess; we have decided. The council agreed to this decision. We made this choice as a whole species. Not just a government.”

I felt a hand come to rest on Celestia back, behind her wings. She turned to look at the human that stood next to her. It was hard to make out details because the Princesses’ eyes were blurry with tears.

“I know Strong. But an entire species to save one? It doesn’t seem fair.” She bowed her head as a few tears landed on the ground in front of her.

“We all have a place in this world Celestia. The Human place is to ensure that everything else gets to live. The Nightmare must be stopped. And this is how it will be.” Not once had the human showed a break in emotion. Not once had his confidence wavered. He was a soldier through and through. No. not a soldier, but a protector.

“Good luck Princess. I’ll see you on the other side. Give Luna my regards.” The human moved in front of Celestia and embraced her in a hug. Her horn glowed bright and then flashed. A spot of light far off in the distance appeared on a building. It flashed twice. Celestia flashed her horn twice in its direction.

She stood there rotted to the spot watching the city. I noticed the sun began to set. Or I thought it was beginning to set. I looked closer and saw that a black mist was steadily closing around the city like a blanket. Soon the whole city was gone, covered in a veil of black mist.

“Good bye, my little human.” Celestia whispered.

All at once there were 5 bright flashes where the city had been. It was as bright as 5 suns. The light poured out and over the city and onto the surrounding landscape that Celestia was standing on. I felt her horn glow as a light gold wall erected in front of her, shielding her from the light.

Celestia heard massive booms that shock her to the bones. She wavered in place and then collapsed on the ground staring out at what had once been a massive fertile field with a city in the background. Now all that was there was a brown and tan sandy landscape with a city of skeleton buildings falling to the ground.

5 large clouds of smoke rose from the city and mixed into the sky, where they all swirled together. Through the gray smoke a few rays of sunlight broke through and landed near the fallen Princess.

“Thank you humans. No one will forget what you did to protect us.” Celestia whispered to the sun spots that danced around her. She slowly stood up and flapped her wings, taking to the sky, flying away from the destruction that rested behind her.

******************************************************************************

I took a large gasp of air and pulled myself back from Celeatia. I was back in the throne room staring at a teary eyed alicorn in front of me.

“That is what happened to the ancient ones. An entire species gave their lives to protect us Ponies from a force of evil. The original humans were Protectors. They were the Equestrian Honor Guard.” Clelestia paced back to her throne and sat down in it. She had this look of grief planted on her face.

That’s when things became clear to me. “But they failed, didn’t they Princess?”

Princess Luna stood up and trotted up to me, just as her sister had done. “We know that you want the answers, but they are hard to take sometimes.” She lowered her horn to my forehead and I felt the familiar cold water wash over my mind.

******************************************************************************

I found myself standing in the middle of a group of ponies in an ancient street. Buildings were fallen all around me. My shadow was just like Celestia’s but a foot smaller. I was viewing this memory through the eyes of the Princess of the Night.

“Your Highness, Hawk Eyes believes she found something in the building on grid A3.”

“Well then, lead on! Let us discover something truly magnificent for our sister!” My host bounded forward following a group of ponies decked out in exploration gear. They were moving through the destroyed city of Hum-gia.

If I remember the dates correctly, this was one hundred years after the destruction of the human race in Equestria. Luna must be looking for some kind of human artifact to bring to Celestia to cheer her up. A Centaury gift or something.

“In her your majesty,” Called a silver coated and red manned mare waving the Princess into a large building. It had a dome structure on top, half of which was missing, “We believe that this building housed the council your sister liked so much.”

The group trotted up to a large gold door that held and interesting insignia on it. A hoof, a hand, and claw all came together over a planet that I guess was Earth in this universe.

“This is it subjects! We have found it! Return to the wagons and retrieve the excavation materials. We must begin with haste!” Luna turned and watched the ponies nod and rush up the stairs and out of the building. She walked up to the door and placed a black cladded hoof against the cold, dusty surface.

With a grunt, Luna pushed opened the door. It swung open revealing a large open room. A massive oak table rested in the center of the room. It had at least 50 chairs surrounding it. The council chamber the other pony had spoken about. At the back of the room something caused Luna to stop and stare. A solitary figure stood against the wall. Even from this far way, I could recognize the bronze armor. SheildStrong. Or what had been SheildStong.

Luna slowly maneuvered her way around the toppled chairs to the skeleton that was pinned against the wall. A long black spear with a wicked design was imbedded through the human and into the wall.

“Oh for any creature to die this way.” Luna reached a hoof out and tapped the spear. With a clatter it fell to the ground, along with the remains of the ancient human.

“Sorry!” The Princess cried running forward to the collapsed body. A small piece of the spear moved in front of the Princess. She stopped dead in her tracts and watched as the very tip of the spear floated itself into the air. It hung there, suspended by some unknown force; as it began to spin. As it spun, the tip of the spear became a black blob, a black blob with glowing red eyes.

“Stay back vile beast!” Luna slowly backed away, but the creature followed the Princess as she scooted back. She hit the edge of the table as the black blob launched itself straight at her face,

“Princess is everything alright?” Luna twisted her head toward the open door that lead into the council chamber. “We heard a crash, are you okay?”

“Yes my loyal subject. We are…quite fine now.”

******************************************************************************

Luna pulled herself back from me. I sucked in lung full after of lung full of air.

“We were foolish to have explored the ruins by thyself.” Luna turned and sat back down in her throne. “A small piece of the Nightmare had survived all that time. It had used the dead body of SheildStrong as a dormant host till we disturbed it.”

Luna hung her head in shame. “We caused the night mare to return. An entire species died in vain. We brought it back, even if it had been and accident.”

It was deathly quiet in the large room. The humans had killed themselves to protect the ponies from an evil creature called the Nightmare. And it had worked, almost. While looking through the ruins of the ancient city, Luna had become infected with the Nightmare. Then she became Nightmare Moon. It all came together.

“Thank you. Both of you. I know it must be painful to re-watch those memories.” I stood up bowed to the Princesses.

“Yes, enough with this sad topic. Let’s go and discuss a much lighter topic. Johnson, we would like to re-establish the Equestrian Honor Guard, with you at its center. What do you say?”

“Let’s talk about some armor and pay and then we’ll see!” I cracked a toothy smile at Princess Celestia who laughed in return.

“We will join you momentarily Johnson.” Luna nudged me forward towards the door and I walked into a smaller room that held 4 large plush couches. I sat in one and waited for the Princesses to join me.

***************************************************************************

“Sister, when are we going to mention to him about Queen Chrysalis?” Luna turned to her sister and asked?

“Not yet Luna, we first must get the defense ready. Then we can tell him.” Celestia nodded her head to the door the human had just exited out off.

“We feel if we aren’t telling him everything sister.” Luna placed a hoof on the door about to open it.

“No Luna. She is still too weak to be a problem. The Nightmare may have found a new host, but is too early to worry him about it yet. But I promise we will tell him. He won’t be a pawn in this world’s game. No human will be pawn in this world again.” Celestia held back one tear and opened the door to see the new human sprawled out on a couch smiling at the two sisters walking in.

Well here is a monster of a chapter. I'm back to working again, so expect one update every 2 days. I know, im sorry, but i have to pay for the mentioned military college somehow. Uniforms are not cheap.

The Enlistment Bonus

The Enlistment Bonus

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 19
By Honored Service

"And I'm asking for at least two weeks paid vacation!" I pounded my fist against the table I was seated at.

"Thou should be great full for a week and half of this paid vacation!" Luna smashed her hoof down opposite of my hand.

"Luna, times have changed, I do believe that two weeks is fair." Celestia explained calmly to the dark colored alicorn. "Okay, so are we all in agreement to your contract Johnson?" Celestia looked at me, levitating a large piece of parchment that had my contract written on it.

The Equestrian Honor Guard

Johnson the Human

This contract is established to give Johnson the rights of citizenship to the land of Equestria in exchange for his service in the guard. The Equestrian Honor Guard (EHG) will act as an elite attachment of the standard Canterlot Guard, under the direct command of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna. Johnson will hold the rank of Lieutenant once training is completed under Captain Shining Armor. During the training period, Johnson will be paid a sum of 80 bits per week till completed. Once graduated with the rank of Lieutenant, his pay shall increase to the monthly rate of 1,000 bits for the next year. This contract is binding to the Royal Seal and can only be disregarded if both Royal Sisters are in agreement to its end.

Signed with upmost honor,
Princess Celestia
Princess Luna
Johnson the Human

I laid the piece of parchment on the table. It was short and sweet. No gray area, just a black and white contract. To gain citizenship in Equestria, I would just have to serve the Princesses. Something I wouldn't mind doing. And I got paid to do it! I had no idea if the pay was fair or not because I knew nothing about Equestrian monetary value. I hoped the Princesses didn't just rip me off.

"There is only one small problem." I looked back at the contract, something just didn't look right.

"Ugh what else could not be correct?" Luna laid back in her chair stretching her wings out behind her. She had been arguing with me nonstop since the beginning of the meeting.

"Shouldn't an Equestrian citizen have a more appropriate name? Johnson the Human seems so... alien. You know?" I turned to Celestia who nodded. At least she didn't mind my complaints.

"You are absolutely right!" Luna say up straight and smiled. "I vote for his new name to be Hot Head!" Ouch. That hurt girl. Celestia laughed lightly with her sister, as I fumed across from the immature royalty.

"I for one think that Peachy Skin is a good one." Of course Celestia had to get her two bits thrown in.

"Shouldn't this be my choice!?" I said looking at the two alicorns that were having a hard time not laughing at the names they were coming up with.

I was about to raise my voice when a knock sounded at the door. An armored pegasus walked in and bowed. He presented a scroll to the Princess and walked out of the room.

"Why it's a letter from the Element of Laughter. What could Miss Pinkie Pie need." Celestia said as she slowly unrolled the scroll in midair.

"Hmm how quaint."

"What is it sister? We are curious." Luna tried to look over the edge of the paper to see what was written.

"All it says is, Honored Service. What do you think that means?"

"That's my name." I said quietly from behind the two princesses.

They both turned to me.

"Come again Johnson?" Celestia said placing the paper down on the table.

"Yes what is Honored Service?" Luna returned to her seat at the table.

"On earth that was my oc's name." It was true, just look at my name.

"What is an oc?" Luna asked me.

Celestia leaned over and whispered into the Princess of the Night's ear. Her faced morphed into one of humor and then to understanding.

"Ah well we think that is a suitable name, even of we would like to name you Hot Head." Luna willed a quill into the air and brought it over to my contract lying on the table. A few scratches later the contract was fixed.

Johnson: Honored Service

"You can keep the human name, and have a more Equestrian name." Luna smiled and placed the quill back into the ink well.

"I think that it is a lovely name. It suits you just fine Johnson. It matches your choices in life; both on your old world and here in Equestria."

You know, it really did. Now I just needed a cutie mark and I would be happy.

"I wonder how Pinkie Pie knew that." Celestia looked back at the paper that held the two words on it.

"It's just Pinkie Pie." I shrugged, that seemed like a valid answer.

"Well Johnson, I mean, Honored Service; when will you start your training? I'll leave it up to you." Celestia carefully rolled up my contract and slipped it inside of a metal tube.

"Anytime would be fine. But I would like to say good bye to some friends in Ponyville before I begin." I wanted to make sure the ponies in Ponyville knew I wasn't abounding them, just leaving for pony boot camp. Compared to the military college, I was sure it would be a snap to complete.

Luna nodded and flipped through the pages of a small red book. "Ah here we go, the next batch of recruits for the Canterlot Guard begin training in 2 days. Will that be enough time to say your good byes?" Luna looked over the edge of the book my response.

I thought it over for a minute. Rarity would have my new clothes and armor done today or tomorrow. Spend tomorrow saying good bye. "Yes your majesty that should be plenty of time."

Celestia stood up and smiled. "Then it's settled. Johnson we shall have a chariot pick you up in two days’ time. Then you shall begin your training to become an Equestrian Honor Guard. Shining Armor will be your personal trainer." She gave me a devilish smile. Why did I feel like Trollestia was striking again?

"I look forward to it ma'm." I bowed and stood up.

"We shall much enjoy watching your process Human. Good luck Honored Service, see you in two days. Don't scream." Luna said smiling as her horn began to glow.

Celestia's horn also began to glow. Wait why shouldn't I scream-

"AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" The familiar blinding sensation and taste of fish fingers with banana custard filled my mouth as I slammed down onto the ground.

"HOLY SHit." *cough* I stood up awkwardly as I turned to face Twilight Sparkle and a group of school foals all seated in a circle on the library floor.

"Um hello everypony. Just keep reading. Books are good for you." I said as I slowly backed up towards the door leading to Ponyville.

Shutting the door closed behind me, I breathed a sigh of relief. Damn those to evil Princesses. They did that on purpose. I bet the idea of me in awkward situations gave them fits of laughter.

********************

"So where did he end up?"

"In the middle of Twilight's weekly reading camp."

"Ah good choice sister. Next time, let's send him into the school house at arts and craft time."

"Oh that's a good idea."

******************************

"Stupid Royal Sisters." I kicked a rock out of my path as I plodded back towards Sweet Apple Acres. I would say good bye to the Apples and thank them for giving me a place to stay. It felt like I had just settled down in Ponyville, and now here I was moving to Canterlot for training.

"Fuck." That’s what I forgot to ask. How long is training going to last?

I knew I had forgotten something.

Well it wasn't like I had just signed away my life... Oh wait yes I did. Shit.

"Afternoon Applejack!" I waved at the country pony from the road leading up to the farmhouse.

"Howdy there Johnson! How'd that meeting with the Princesses go? Are ya' a citizen now?" She trotted up to me from the row of trees she had been bucking.

"It went great Applejack! I got a job, a name, and I'm a citizen of Equestria now!" I beamed at the friendly earth pony who stopped walking.

"Y'all did all that in one morning? Ya' must be one fierce negotiator." She caught back up to me. "So what's the new name?"

"Well actually Pinkie Pie reminded me of it. My Equestrian name is Honored Service. I'm going to be a part of the Canterlot Guard. I start training in two days." I puffed up my chest in pride.

"Well ah'll be! Good for ya' Johnson, ah mean Honored Service." She patted me on the back as we entered the house.

"You can call me either name. I use them both." I walked into the kitchen to help Applejack make lunch for the family. I pulled out some apples and began to slice them with Bad Bertha. She sliced through them with no problem.

"It feels like ya' just got here, and now yer leaving. Better not tell Pinkie or she'll throw ya' another party. I still don't think Berry Punch has walked off that hangover yet." Applejack laughed to herself as she added some crushed pecans and raisins to the bowl of chopped apples.

"Haha. Nice. Applejack, I can't thank you enough for being so kind to me. I really appreciate-" She cut me off with a look of seriousness.

"And we can't thank thank ya' enough for saving Applebloom." I nodded and smiled as Applejack rang the dinner bell outside of the kitchen door.

A few minutes later I was seated at the Apple family table telling everpony about my meeting with the Princesses and my citizenship in Equestria. Applebloom was excited to hear about my new name and thought that since I could get a new name, then I should be able to get a cutie mark. I didn't have the heart to tell her humans didn't get cutie marks, so I just let her believe that I would work hard to get one while at training camp.

After lunch I finished the West orchard with Big Macintosh. We talked a little about Ponyville and the fall harvest season.

"Are y'all going to be back in time to help with the big harvest?" He asked while chewing on a piece of wheat.

"I think so. I mean on Earth, training lasted anywhere from 12 weeks to 5 months. And I'm sure that I can get some leave time to come and help."

Big Macintosh nodded and placed a hoof on my shoulder. "Yer a good friend Honored. I'm proud to say that ah know Equestria's only human." And with that, the quiet earth pony lumbered off towards the barn to begin working on his next task.

It was compliments like that, which made me, feel good to be who I was. Equestria's only human. A protector.

***************************

I woke up bright and early and ate breakfast with the Apple family. After cleaning up the breakfast dishes I made my way into Ponyville to see the creations that Rarity had made. I hope they would last me through training.

I walked up to the door leading into Carousel Boutique and rang the door bell again.

Ding Dong Dong Dink

I opened the door to Rarity stitching some lace onto a white flowing gown.

"Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where everything is shique, unique and, ah good morning Johnson! How lovely to see you today. Twilight mentioned that you had an audience with the Princesses. You must tell me how everything went."

Before long I was seated with Rarity discussing yesterday's events over tea. Today's tea was a strange blueberry kiwi blend. So different, but good none the less.

"And so then she says it's from Pinkie Pie and Ta da, I've got my new Equestrian name."

Rarity placed her cup onto the table in front of her. "That does sound like something she would do. Pinkie Pie, you just can't explain her."

I raised my tea cup up, “Here’s to that."

"Well I'm sure you're interested on seeing how your outfits turned out. I personally am very pleased on how the ensembles came out. And I did leave out the sparkling jewels and gems." Rarity added as she walked over to a brown chest at the edge of the room. Clicking it open she levitated 6 boxes out of it and a large wrapped bundle of cloth.

"The regular day to day outfits were the easiest to produce. I made you six of them, seeing as washing the same 3 would get old so quick." Rarity floated the boxes to me and I began to open them up carefully making sure I could repackage them for carrying purpose.

Inside the boxes were 6 pairs of pants. Two of them dark green cargo pants with large pockets on the side of the legs. The other four pants were jean material in different shades of blue. They felt as strong as jeans, but more comfortable like felt or soft cotton.

The shirts were all button ups in different colors. Red and blue. White and gold. Black and royal purple. Green and brown. Red and white. Yellow and orange. Each shirt had Rarity's cutie mark on the right side of the collar. They were extremely nice shirts. And felt like the same material the pants were crafted from, but lighter.

"I hope you like these. I made such a variety of colors because you didn't instruct me on what colors you wanted." Rarity was awaiting my response to the clothes she had made for me.

"Rarity, these clothes are amazing! And you even made boxers and socks!" I held up the said articles of clothing. They were white socks and simple blue boxers.

"I'm glad you think they are nice." Rarity was positively beaming with pride.

"Nice?" I looked at her. “These are amazing! You did a fantastic job!"

"Well then I hope you think the same thing about the other outfit you wanted." She levitated the large bundle into my hands.

I grasped the bundle out of her magical grip and untied the brown string holding the wrapping together. I unraveled the gray cloth. Inside was the most beautiful uniform I have ever seen. And I loved my Army uniform.

I was staring at a brown long coated duster. It came down to my knees and had a split in the back so it would swirl around me without bunching up in between my legs. It had two large Velcro spots on the bicep area so I could attach my current military patch and the hoof made Cutie Mark Crusader patch on it. The shoulders of the coat were toughened with some kind of flexible yet sturdy material so that they wouldn't wear out.

Moving down the coat I noticed that the area that covered my forearms was stronger. On the outside of the sleeve Rarity had added some strong metallic material that would protect my forearms. She must have seen the scares from the Timber Wolves and got that idea herself. This duster was amazing.

Also in the package was a new tan belt. The belt wrapped around my waste and had another loop that would reach up under my armpit.

"Rarity, is this a holster?" I pointed at the pouch that was connected on the belt that reached the left armpit.

"Yes darling it is. I didn't want the coat to get caught up on your current holster so I made one to tuck under your arm. Is it to your liking?"

"Of course Rarity! It's great! And there is even a space for my current ammo belt to attach."

The belt had notches on it where I could hook Bad Bertha and my clips for my pistol onto the new belt. The last thing I pulled out from the package was the under armor to wear under the duster.

It was a dark grey and made out of the same material my forearm bracers were constructed from. On the left side, right above my heart, was Rarity's cutie mark in very small blue gems.

"I know you said no gems, but I couldn't resist adding my trademark symbol to it." She waited for my response.

"Rarity, this armor is... It's just fantastic! I can’t even describe how perfect it is! I'll be the envy of ever guards pony in Canterlot. A custom Rarity outfit that looks badass and works."

Rarity blushed at the compliment and turned her head. "Oh it was nothing darling. Just a little thanks for saving my dear sister. I was happy to craft it. I had a lot of fun designing something for another species too."

After a few more minutes with the generous unicorn, I left Carousel Boutique to begin working on a research paper. One that hopefully wouldn’t take forever to complete.

The Down Time

The Down Time

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 20
By Honored Service

As I came up to the door of the Ponyville library, I heard a loud crash and an scream of agony.

"Ahhhh!"

I dropped all the boxes of clothes I was carrying and jerked my rifle up from the side of my body where it was hanging and kicked in the door.

"I'm here Twilight! What's wrong?" I yelled as I swept the room left to right with the rifle at the ready. I slowly lowered the weapon when I saw Twilight and Lyra both grasping the same book with their magic; frozen in mid struggle with looks of terror on their faces.

"Oh. Sorry." I dropped the rifle back to my side and relaxed my stance. The two unicorns dropped the book onto the floor. Twilight let out a breath and came forward.

"Johnson you scared the living daylight out of me." She said, levitating a few unused scrolls to the table.

"I heard a scream and I just reacted. I didn't mean to scare y'all." I felt bad for scaring them. I mean yeah I had scared Rainbow Dash, but that was just a prank. I had really scared Lyra and Twilight with my sweep and clear on the library.

"It's alright Johnson. Lyra was just refusing to let me read the information collected on ancient humans." At the mention of the other unicorn, Twilight sent an angry glare in the direction of the sea green pony.

I looked over at Lyra and saw she was still just staring in shock at me. Slowly a smile spread across her face until it looked as if she would break her mouth if she kept it up.

Twilight noticed this too and waved a hoof at the unicorn. "Lyra? Hello? Anypony home?"

All at once Lyra jumped into the air and began writing things down while talking a mile a minute.

"Twilight did you see the determination on his face? When presented with a situation of danger or protection it seems that humans have some kind of natural instinct to protect. This was a great experiment. The scream triggered Johnson to enter this protector mode and try to help the being in need." Lyra looked up at us from the paper she was writing furiously on.

"What?" She asked levitating another piece of paper slowly in front of her muzzle and added another note.

Twilight turned back to me and gave an apologetic look. "She has been like this for the last two hours. Anything related to the ancient humans as been read by her and then annotated for future use." Twilight let out a sigh. "Now I see what it looks like when I get caught up with something. Lyra, why are you so focused on this?"

Without glancing up from her current work Lyra said, "I spent 4 years at Canterlot University majoring in Ancient Human Studies. I was told that it was a useless thing to learn. Well look who's laughing now mom!" she raised a hoof into the air and waved it back and forth.

"And because the ancient legend of humans has some end of the free world."

"Um wait, what was that last thing?" I hadn't quite caught that last thing the crazed unicorn had said.

"4 years of college?"

"No."

"Who's laughing now mom?"

"No! The last thing about end of the free world!"

"Oh that, it's just an old legend." She waved me off with a hoof and continued to scribble on a note pad.

"Lyra... I am just an old legend... And here I am." I was not really in the mood to be lead around without knowing what was happening.

"Good point. One... Second...." Lyra began digging through piles of papers and books. She final popped up with an old dirty scroll and unrolled it.

"Ah here we are. On the 1225th year after of the fall of humans, an ancient evil will reclaim its strength and reclaim the world it use to rule. Yada Yada Yada blah blah blah friendship.... Training.... Something about a magic sword.... Magic armor.... And one human will stand alongside his pony brethren to defend against the evil as the protector of freedom." Lyra closed the scroll.

My mouth was hanging open. Besides the fact she had skimmed the whole fucking scroll, I had another damn bombshell dropped on my already messed up head. What. The. Fuck.

"So what it sounds like is Johnson needs to understand friendship, complete his training, find a magic sword and armor, and confront the ancient evil which sounds like the Nightmare." Twilight pulled up a large sheet of parchment and made a list on it.

Johnson's to do list
• friendship
• training
• magic sword
• magic armor
• save world from ancient evil- should win said battle

Twilight smiled as she pinned the list up on the wall. "And you already have some friends made! You're making great progress Johnson!"

I fainted.

I slowly came back to it too see Twilight's muzzle inches from my face.

"Make note that humans can be easily agitated with words. Emotional reactions can be high." Wait why was my back cold. Why was I staring at the celling. And why couldn't I move my arms or legs.

"Um Twilight? Lyra? Why can’t I move?" I tried moving my head but only saw bookshelves and wires connected to a funny looking machine that was beeping in rhythm to my increasing hear beat. Fuck.

"Ah well after you fainted, we received a letter from the Princess to give you a full medical examination for your training." Lyra stepped into my view and pulled a rubber glove on her hoof with a snap.

"Now turn and cough!"

***************

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"

"What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know! I just made a list of things he had to do and then he fainted. Now he keeps flailing around and screaming."

"Please no!" I screamed slowly coming out of my nightmare. Twilight and Lyra were both looking at me with looks of confusion.

"I had a bad vision. Yeah a real bad vision. About evil. Yeah, the evil Nightmare. So scary. Haha." Good cover Johnson.

Once I had settled down I explained to Lyra and Twilight what had happened in Canterlot with the Princesses. I did tell them about the memories; they may have had some connection with the Nightmare that was returning to Equestria.

Twilight finished writing another page of notes and closed the journal. "Well it is the Nightmare you will be fighting."

"I knew that. Celestia straight up told me." So far I hadn't learned anything new about what I was going to have to do. I was just going to pull my trigger and hope for the best.

"And after looking through these records," Lyra spoke up from across the room, "I found the we have exactly 364 days left till the Nightmare will return in strength. Yesterday was the 1224th year after the fall of humans."

"So I need to get to work." I stood up and looked out the window and saw the castle city of Canterlot in the distance. "I leave tomorrow for training, I'll get through that and then save the day or something like that."

"Well good luck Honored Service." Twilight trotted up behind me and patted me on the back. "If my brother starts getting too hard on you, let me know. He kind of owes me after the whole Cadence thing." I looked down at the purple unicorn.

"Thanks Twilight, but if I can't handle one officer, then how am I going to defend against an entire evil force of nature. I'm sure whatever Shining Armor has planned won't be able to stop me."

Famous last words.

"Have fun in Canterlot!" Lyra called out to me as I left the library. "If you lose some of your blood, please save it for me to experiment on!" I heard Twilight gag and start yelling at Lyra as the library door closed shut.

"Wow, what a day." I looked at my watch, and it wasn't even time for supper yet. I tucked my boxes of clothes and armor under my arm and walked off.

I headed towards a shop that looked to be made of candy, unaware of the rose colored eyes that watched from the clouds.

The bell above the door jingled as I walked into the bakery/sweets shop. A few ponies were seated at tables and gave me a few nods or scooted about away from me. Same reactions as before, but at least they weren't running in fear.

"Oh my gosh! I knew you would be stopping in today Honored! My back legs got all straight and I couldn't bend them, which means I'm going to see my human friend today. But I have to work all day, so I knew that you must be coming into Sugar Cube Corner so I baked you a special cupcake with extra frosting and chocolate." Pinkie Pie bounced around happily explaining the finer points of how to make cupcakes.

I sat down at a table as the pink party pony placed a pretty pink pastry in front of me. She smiled as I picked it up in my hand and sniffed it. Smelled like sugar and sunshine!

Pinkie Pie leaned in and watched with intense blue eyes as I not into the flaming hot cupcake... Wait? Flaming hot?

I looked and saw that the inside of the cupcake was filled with peppers and red sauce that smelled like hot sauce. And right about now, my tongue felt like it was coated in magma.

"HOT HOT HOT HOT!" I gasped for air trying to find something to drink. I ran around the shop trying to find any type of liquid I could use to douse the fire raging in my mouth. Upon remembering I had a canteen filled with water on my belt, I ripped it off and chugged the whole thing down.

"Bwhahahhahhaha!" I spun around to see a blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane rolling on the ground laughing her head off. Pinkie Pie bounced over and joined her. Seeing the two of them laughing it up reminded me that I had had this coming. Rainbow had gotten me back. Touché

My mouth still ached but I knew how to lose with some kind of pride.

"Alright you got me Rainbow Dash. That was a good one." Might as well just let her have this one.

The still giggling pony picked herself up off the floor and wiped a tear away. She smiled and ate the rest of the cupcake I had dropped on the table. She didn't even flinch. Damn. She's. So. Smooth.

"Thanks for being such a good sport Johnson. I had to get you back for the scare you gave me." She eyed the Cutie Mark Crusaders patch that was on my arm. "Is that why you did it?" She raised a hoof to the adorable emblem.

"Yeah, the girls had fun. And they liked bossing around a new member of their club."

Rainbow hopped up into a chair as Pinkie Pie brought out another plate with cupcakes on it. I took a seat across from the Pegasus and ripped off a tiny piece of a cupcake to inspect it for hazardous materials before eating this one. It was fine. Super fine. Super-duper spanticular.

"Twilight and Applejack were telling me about your citizenship." Rainbow flipped a cupcake into the air and caught it in her mouth. Through her mouth full of cupcake she continued to speak. "I guess of the Princesses think you're good enough to be a citizen then I guess you aren't bad." Gee thanks Rainbow.

"And I hear you're going to be in the Canterlot Guard."

"Yes I am, bit it's actually a different branch called The Equestrian Honor Guard and it's an elite-" Rainbow cut me off with a burp.

"That's cool! If you happen to meet any of the Wonderbolt Officers, could you mention me or something?" She leaned forward and eagerly nodded her head.

"Yes, sure Rainbow." I sighed; she was so just like the show.

"Woohoo!" Rainbow yelled as she dashed out the shop and took to the sky.

"I just don't get that pony half the time." Pinkie Pie said as she picked up the empty plate and cantered back to the kitchen.

Wait, what? God, today was weird.

The Good Bye

The Good Bye

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 21
By Honored Service

For my last supper with the Apple family, Granny Smith made an amazing feast. Apple tarts and the staple apple salad that I have come to love. She also made an apple pie of epic proportions. It was the picture perfect apple pie. Light buttery flakey crust and a filling of the sweetest apples ever. A great way to end my brief time in Ponyville.

"So when exactly are y'all heading out?" Applejack asked while carrying a stack of plates to the kitchen sink.

"I'll be leaving first thing in the morning. A chariot is going to pick me up outside the farm." I said as I scrubbed another plate clean. How did non unicorn ponies do this stuff? They would have to hold the brush in their mouth but then how would they hold the plate? Whatever, thank God for hands.

"Well shucks, when do ya think we're going to see ya again?" Applebloom asked, looking up from her school papers she was working on.

I turned away from the sink to the little filly. "I'm not sure Applebloom. I don't think it will be to long though." I finished with a smile, so she wouldn't get sad again. Applebloom and I had gotten close over the last few days. She was a lot like the little sister I had left behind on Earth. I wonder how she was doing?

"Aw now don't be sad AB." Applejack trotted to her younger sibling, "Honored here will come and visit us soon as he can." She looked at me for something else to say.

"Yeah! I sure will. And maybe I'll bring back a sword or something for you." Applejack shock her head back and forth quickly. But it was too late. Applebloom's eyes lit up and she bounced up onto the table.

"Awesome! Then me an’ the girls can try and get our cutie marks in sword fighting! Or maybe in evil creature slaying!" The little earth pony galloped off from the kitchen with Applejack close behind yelling "No!"

"I reckon y'all gone and started something." The deep voice said behind me.

I sighed and turned around. "Yup, my bad, Big Macintosh." He gave a calm smile and slowly plodded off in the direction of what sounded like some WWE smack down coming from the other room.

I made my way to my small bedroom and got ready for another night of sleep before heading off to training in Canterlot.

*******************

I woke up to a small beeping coming from my wrist. "Okay I'm up. I'm up." I silenced the watch and sat up. Today was the day. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little nervous about being trained, but I had just trained on Earth for the last 6 months as a freshman at the military college. So I was ready for whatever these little ponies could throw at me.

I rolled out of bed and stood up stretching up to pop my joints. Let's try on my new armor. That would be my regular clothing from now on. Sorry army uniform, but this one was made by a magical unicorn. It wins.

I put on some new boxers and an under shirt. Picking up the armored chest piece I slipped it on. It fit snugly on my body covering my entire chest and part of my stomach. I latched it in place to the back piece and clasped the straps on my sides. Once that layer was on, I put my tactical vest on over it. This would add double the protection and storage room. Okay, one part down, three to go.

The pants went on next. They were the dark gray material that felt like metal yet was soft like cloth. Magic I guess. That's the only explanation.

I picked up the multi part belt and slipped my ammo pouches, canteen, and knife onto the waist section of the belt. I put it on and attached the shoulder holster next. I pulled my Berretta out of the old holster and put it into the new one under my left armpit. Wow I felt bad ass already.

I made sure everything was secured and in place before tying the knife down to my left thigh. It wouldn't move around or get caught on anything this way.

And now to add the piece de resistance. The duster. I slid my arm through left sleeve and then the right arm through the right sleeve. I pulled it up and aligned the collar so it would fit comfortably over the under armor and tact vest. And it did. I moved my arms in various directions to make sure that I wasn't constricted in anyway. Better find out now rather than in a fight of I can't move.

Once I was happy that I could move everything, I stepped back and looked in the bathroom mirror. Wow. I felt like I was staring at an in rebuilt hot stranger. A stranger that looked a lot like me. I don't have an ego problem.

I examined my new deadly, yet sharp, looking apparel. It was perfect. The armored brown duster really brought everything home.

"I forgot to piss before putting this all on."

Fuck me.

After removing everything and using the bathroom and then putting everything on again, I put on my near empty backpack and slung my rifle. I double checked my room to make sure I left nothing behind. It was spotless.

I quietly made my way down the hall and through the kitchen. I noticed a small brown box sitting on the kitchen table. There was a note attached to it,

Johnson, here's something for the road.
Love,
Applejack
Applebloom
Big M
Granny Smith

Inside the box were three apples, an apple fritter and a slice of apple pie. I closes the box and tucked it into my backpack. That was sweet of them I would definitely have to bring them all something back from Canterlot.

I walked down the road away from the farm. I knew that the chariot would stop somewhere along this way to pick me up, but where. I saw a group of ponies not to far away. I guess this was them. They may have parked the chariot in town.

As I got closer to the group of ponies, I noticed a lack of armor. Then I began to see some details. Purple and pink, white and purple, orange and yellow, yellow and pink, pink and more pink, and blue and rainbow. Haha well what do you know, the mane 6 had come to see me off.

"Wow Honored, from far away, that outfit makes you look pretty scary. That's cool!" Rainbow rocketed forward and began to examine the baddassery that was my new outfit.

"Yes darling, I do believe it is, what did you say, 'bad flank'?" Rarity covered her mouth and giggled at using a 'bad word'.

"Oh yes....very um scary." Fluttershy didn't back away from me, but she definitely wasn't going to be getting much closer.

The girls walked with me till a golden chariot appeared off in the distance. It came in fast and low till skidding to halt in front of our group. Four pegasus guards pulled the chariot. They stood proud and with a stern look; never changing. A tall, white coated blond manned unicorn stepped down, but not until a red carpet had unrolled from the side of the carriage. Fucking Blueblood.

Rarity gave a little snort and turned away from the approaching Prince.

"I am Prince Blueblood" A collected sigh was heard from my group of friends. "I was sent by my aunts, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna to retrieve the one called Honored Service, Equestria's only human."

The dumb prince looked around. Twilight slapped a hoof to her face and then pointed at me. I took a step forward. Prince Lameblood was at my eye level, I stared him down. "That would be me."

He took a step back towards the carriage, brushing off himself as if I had just thrown dirt on his chest. "Ah. Well then let's not keep me waiting." He sat back onto the chair in place on the chariot.

I turned back to the girls. "Thanks for everything girls. I'll come back as soon as I can to see you!" before I could stop them, I was tackled to the ground in a wave cuteness and hugs.

"Go on and get out of here ya human."

"Do write to me darling!"

"Stay cool in Canterlot!"

"Have fun... If you want to."

"I'll be sure to ask the Princess about your progress."

"Get back soon so we can have a huge party celebrating your new job and graduation as a guard pony. Guard human. I said human!"

I waved goodbye to my new friends as I stepped onto the chariot. Blueblood looked at me and levitated a scroll into my hands. "Auntie said to give you this once you were on the chariot."

I unwrapped the scroll as the chariot began to move forward. I could hear my friends shouting final good byes over the guard's wings flapping.

Honored Service,
Enjoy the flight.
Celestia

What does that mean? The chariot took off into the sky. This wasn't so bad. FanFics had always made it seem like chariots were scary. But this was cool, I could see for miles on end. Everything was so green and vibrant with colors.

"Now that we are away, I'll tell you of how I got my mane to stay this gorgeous. Because honestly, yours needs a lot of work."

Oh right. Enjoy the flight.

Fuck you Trollestia.

The Welcome Wagon

The Welcome Wagon

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 22 (Dubs)
By Honored Service

The chariot touched down lightly on a large platform located in the Royal Gardens. I threw myself off of it and unto the ground.

“And I made it perfectly clear that I had asked for a Vin Délimité de Qualité Supérieure and yet that lowly server brought me Vin de Table. Can you believe the nerve of her? So that’s why I had her fired and sent to Ponyville. My wine specialist should have known better.” Blueblood stepped down lightly onto the platform and stared at me. I was too busy to notice as I was slamming my head onto the marble landing area.

“Well I know humans are strange, disgusting creatures, but don’t ruin anything with your brutish ways.” He flipped his hair and turned away from me. That. Was. Fucking. It.

I raised myself to my full height and walked up behind the snooty unicorn. “Hey asshole!”

“Excuse you! You will apologize at once you barbari-“ I shot out my arm and punched that damn unicorn right in his jaw. Now it wasn’t a full out K.O. punch, just a punch to shut him up.

“Listen here buddy.” I grabbed his little collar and pulled him closer to me. “I just sat and listened to you bad mouth have the fucking city of Canterlot. You have no respect for anyone other than the Princesses and that’s only because for some unknown reason they give you what you want!” Prince douche bag’s eyes had shrunk to pinpoints and sweat began to break out across his brow as I held him in place so I could vent on him.

“You are the most stuck up, pompous, jack ass on this world! And I came from a world filled with people like you. And they always were hated by everyone around them.” I pushed him backwards which caused him to stumble and fall onto his back. He began to crawl away from me, but I wasn’t done yet. It had been a long flight.

“If you don’t fucking get your act together Blueblood. Then we are going to find out if your name really is true.” I finished by smashing my balled up fist into my other hand with a satisfying SMACK.

“I….I….” Blueblood bolted like a frightened little girl. I mean he ran off quicker that Rainbow Dash, it was crazy fast.

“Hey, did you really mean that?” I turned around to face the group of guards that had been pulling the chariot. The four of them had gathered behind me in a square pattern. Their armor shined in the early morning sunlight. They ruffled their wings and tucked them up to their sides.

“No. It was meant to scare him silly.” I looked back to the direction the cowardly prince and vanished to. “And I’d say it worked pretty well.”

The lead Pegasus reached up and removed his helmet. As he took it off, his white coat shimmered and turned light brown. A short cropped red mane covered his head and he looked me over with his teal eyes.

“Thanks for that. We had to listen to that on the way to get you. We can’t tell him off. Doesn’t fit with the whole ‘serious guard’ thing we have to do. The names’ Fast Trail, Sergeant Fast Trail and you just made our day.” He gave a smile, and began to trot off with the other three white Pegasus.

“Hey Sarge!” I hollered after the group.

“Yeah?” He stopped and looked over his shoulder.

“You all have enchanted hlemets?” I always wondered why the guards had looked copy/paste in the show.

“Sure do, it helps keep the officers hidden. No enemy far away would know who was leading.” He continued off with the other guards. I watched them go until they were out of sight. Now it was just me and the garden. Well better take a look around.

I strolled through the garden, just waiting for somepony to come and get me. I thought that Celestia would have been waiting for me, but I guess I was wrong. Wait, what is this. Oh no way.

I found myself starring up into the statue of chaos. Discord. Now I respect the man, I think that he had gotten some bad rep. He wasn’t all that bad, just a little over the top with chaos and things.

“So you're Discord. Got to say I'm kind of a fan. I mean not the whole take over Equestria part, but your ability to have fun. Rules can be boring sometimes.” I walked up to the statue and noticed a sign planted near the base of it.

No Fighting Near The Draconequus

“Oh yes, that will keep everything safe. I hope you don’t come back buddy. I’m going to be in the guard you know. And with me in it, let’s just say the Elements of Harmony won’t be working alone anymore to save the day. I'm going to be saving the world with them. Because this place is my new home now.” I sat on the base of the statue and leaned back against the frozen creature’s leg.

“Yup, my new home.”

“I hoped you would think of this place as that.” Ah right on cue. I cracked one eye to see the flowing pastel rainbow mane of Celestia in my view.

I stood up and gave a slight bow to the Princess. “Good morning mam.”

She smiled and looked up to Discord. “I hope the flight wasn’t too bad.” She gave me a look from the corner of her eye. A tiny smile appeared on her lips.

“Oh yes. It was a pleasant flight; although I could have done without Prince Stick up his Ass.” I was still a little pissed about that. That had been a terrible flight.

“Now Honored, that isn’t very nice.” Celestia walked beside me and put a wing around my shoulder. “So are you ready to begin training?”

We walked out of the gardens and began heading towards the rear of the castle. As we neared the destination I started to hear the sound of hundreds of hoof steps and the muffled sound of yelling.

“As ready as I’ll ever be Princess. Am I going to be training with other ponies, or is it really going to just be me and Shining Armor?”

We rounded a corner that lead to a massive gate opening into the barracks of the Canterlot Guard. “Youll be with other ponies Honored Service, just have some…special circumstances.” We stepped into what I would forever call ‘the pony army’ camp. Ponies were everywhere preforming physical activities in ever section of the base. A group of ponies were being pushed to do pushups while a tall armored unicorn counted off their progress.

“120, 121,122,122”

Groups of Pegasus were being chased around track field by another officer. They were flying low and fast trying to stay in front of the yelling Guards.

A group of unicorns were levitating boulders across a huge field and then throwing them right back to the starting position where another group would perform the same task.

“Princess Celestia.” A voice came from behind us. We turned to face Shining Armor who was wearing his purple colored armor minus the helmet. He stopped and bowed to Celestia and then looked me up and down. “This is the human that you and Twilight have been telling me about?” He walked in a quick circle around me, coming to stop on my right side.

“He doesn’t look like he could take on Timber Wolves and live to tell the tale; kind of tall and lanky.”

What? After six months of grueling freshman year and to him I was tall and lanky? I had to to do 216 pushups at a time! This is bullshit. Sorry Shining that I'm not some huge rage monster covered in muscles. I am a precision warrior.

“Oh but I assure you he can. His species is able to craft extraordinary things.” She nodded towards my rifle resting at my side.

“Prove it.” Shining Armor had a smirk on his face. For a moment there, he looked exactly like Prince Blueblood with blue hair. OH IT’S ON MOTHER FUCKER!

I smiled as nonchalantly as I could and brought my rifle’s but to my shoulder. Keeping the barrel pointed at the ground I walked casually over to a group of unicorns that were shooting arrows at targets a hundred feet away. They all stopped mid draw and stared in awe at this creature that waltzed near them. They then hit the ground as the Princess and Captain of the guard came behind him.

“You may want to cover your ears.” I said to the Princess and my soon to me impressed trainer. I brought the rifle up to firing position and pulled the charging handle.

CLICK

The safety came off and I breathed slowly as I aimed for the center of the circle target down range. I squeezed the trigger on my beautiful weapon.

BOOM
Tink

The target that was down range exploded into bits of wood and straw. All the unicorn archers shrunk back and cringed at the loud noise that my weapon had emitted. Princess Celestia and Shining Armor both were awe struck at the now obliterated target down range.

“Well is that good enough?” I was feeling a bit cocky now. I had entered the guard camp and blown away everypony with my weapon. And they hadn’t even seen my pistol Spike, or the knife Bad Bertha.

“I’ll admit that is a very…unique weapon.” Shining Armor trotted up next to me. “And welcome to the Canterlot Guard. I’ll lead you to the barracks where you're going to stay while in training.”

“Honored, I must depart back to the castle, but be assured that my sister or myself will stop and check in on you. And don’t hesitate to come to us if you need to. For anything.” Princess Celestia smiled and bowed her head. I returned the gesture to her.

“Thank your majesty. You have been the most welcoming host to me. I owe you my life as a guard.” She walked off towards a set of golden doors leading into the castle. As soon as she was away from me, a group of golden glad ponies appeared beside her to escort her.

“And now you're mine.” Shining Armor said with a hint of joking in his voice. “Come on, let’s get the pack of your dropped off. Your real training starts tomorrow. Today I’ll get you settled and ready. Tonight you rest, tomorrow you work. Hard.” I agreed to him and we moved out to a series of small rectangle building tucked away into the left coroner side of the camp.

“Are you really going to be my personal trainer?” I asked him, it seems a little unofficial for one recruit to be placed under one officer; even if I was Equestria’s only human.

“OH no, you'll be with the other recruits for basic training. But when the time comes to make you Honor Guard, you’ll be with me specifically. And any other ponies who qualify.”

We rounded a turn and head straight for the building in the back. “Wait, ponies can be in Honor Guard too? I thought it was just humans. You know four humans, two to each Royal Sister.”

Shining smiled and replied, “It was like that, but no pony has been able to meet the standards that the human guards established to be an Honor Guard. They were the toughest, or so I'm told. I’ll let you know tomorrow what the standards are. I'm sure you'll make them.”

He opened the brown wooden door leading into the rectangular building. Above the door was a sign and it gold lettering it said сsaедddлleо. Um…I did the quick translate trick pinkie tought me, and ah Saddle. That must be the pony version of the NATO phonetic alphabet. Instead of Sierra it was Saddle. Clever ponies.

“Captain on deck!” I heard a voice scream as we walked into the large room. I saw five multi colored ponies scramble out of beds and chairs and to attention along the rows of beds.

“At ease ponies.” The Captain walked up to an empty cot, and patted the small matress. “This is your bunk, recruit. Get settled in. Tomorrow you work.”

“Squad leader.” An orange unicorn with a light brown and black mane ran forward and stopped in front of the Captain.

“Sir squad leader reporting as ordered sir.”

“This is Johnson, or Honored Service. He is a human and is in traning to become an Equestrian Honor Guard. Explain to him the basics, so tomorrow isn’t a day in Tartarus for him.”

“Sir yes sir!”

Shining Armor turned and walked out of the barracks leveling me alone with this new group of ponies to meet.

“Well hi.” I gave a small wave to the five ponies who gathered around me. They all had a look of anger and malice in their eyes. “So, what are you guys doing?”

“So we get to be the company with this thing in it?” Said a large blue earth pony, he had an image of hammer striking an anvil as a cutie mark. “Command is going to ride our flanks with him here.” He gave me this wicked evil eye.

Great, not even here for 5 damn minutes and I was being hated by my fellow recruits.

“I think we need to show this human his place here.” A pegasus, a mare pegasus said while slowly flying towords me said. She got in front of me and raised a hoof into the air.

Fight back, or just take it? My body and mind had already taken this for 6 months on earth delivered by upperclassmen at the college, but this was a fellow recruit this wouldn’t stand okay in my books.

I caught her hoof in mid-flight, before it had made connection with my face. I then pushed her back to give me some room and widened my stance to give myself balance. If they wanted to brawl, then I was going to brawl damnit.

“Woo okay stop guys. He’s cool.” The unicorn squad leader came forward. He was smiling now and seemed happy. He stuck a hoof out, “My name is Short Blade.” His cutie mark was the image of a sword being slashed upwards.

I cautiously extended my hand and wrapped my fingers around his hoof and gave it a firm shake.

“We didn’t meant to scare you so badly, it’s just we wanted to see what kind of recruit you were going to be. Shining came to us and told us that we were the company getting the human guard, and well we wanted to be sure we were getting a solider and not some recruit that would take hits from fellow recruits. Good to see ya passed!” He smiled and trotted over to his bunk and flopped onto it.

Clever ponies again. “By the way, that’s Hammer Strike, Fast Skies, Battle Plan, and Quick Flurry.” Short Blade pointed to each of the ponies who had returned to their bunks.
Hammer Strike was the big blue earth pony. He had a short cropped dark blue mane. He nodded at me.

Fast Skies was the mare that was going to hit me. She had a sleek light red coat with a slightly long orange mane that curled at the bangs. Her cutie mark was a bolt of lightning slicing through a cloud.

Battle Plan was a sage colored unicorn with a silver mane. He had a pair of glasses on. His cutie mark was of a queen and a king chess piece. Somehow, I felt that he was the one who came up with that scheme.

Quick Flurry was a yellow pegasus with an orange and yellow mane. His cute mark was of a snowflake being chased with a zig zag lightning bolt.

“Welcome to Saddle Company, Honored.”

Sorry if there are a few more mistakes than previous chapters. i dint have to re-re-read as i had to pack for BRONYCON! If you feel like finding me if you are going, ill be the guy cosplaying as Braeburn. and ill have the name tag JOHNSON I know, im sexy.

The Mess Hall

The Mess Hall

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 23
By Honored Service

"Yo human wake up! It's time for breakfast." I cracked open my eyes to see Short Blade standing next to my bunk. He was tapping his hoof impatiently against the wooden floor. Hammer Strike was standing near the door waiting too.

"Alright." I kicked myself over the edge of the bunk and stood up. "Do I wear armor or what?" I picked up the under armor for my bad ass outfit; about to suit up.

"No you don't need the armor; we only use it for drills and inspection or formations, things like that. So just throw something on."

Hammer Strike snorted from the doorway. "Why are you wearing something anyway? The training camp doesn't require clothing to be worn." He gave a grunt and nodded his head out the door. I quickly slipped into my blue pants and a red button up shirt. I almost forgot to grab my belt belts with Spike and Bad Bertha along with ammo and my canteen on it. I followed the two ponies out the door and towards the mess hall.

"Well in my culture on Earth, the planet I'm from, we humans always wear clothes. We are really only naked for cleaning ourselves and...um... you know... doing it."

My nervous and slightly embarrassing answer drew a laugh from my two squad mates as we crossed a large grassy field that had an obstacle course towering over it. Massive towers and rope walls and a large pit filled with mud. This course looked similar to a human military one. Wait how would a pony go about climbing a rope net? Pegasus have an advantage here, clearly.

"So clothes all the time?" Hammer Strike wiped a tear from his eye and collected himself to his calm, bored looking expressionless self.

"Yes. Clothes all the time. Fancy ones, simple attire, you name it, we wore it." Short Blade pointed a hoof towards a large stone building with a large flag flying over it. The flag was the seal of Equestria, the Alicorn sisters flying opposite of each other over a luscious green planet.

"Wow that must have cost a lot of bits having that many clothes to wear day in day out." Short Blade wiggled his flank right in front of me. "No wasted money here!"

Hammer Strike gave a cat call whistle which sent the two recruits into another fit of laughter. I joined in; apparently subtle gay jokes were just as common between males here, as they were on Earth.

We opened the door leading into the massive mess hall. Ponies trotted to tables from counters loaded with food of all types. Armored guards sat at the ends of the tables, watching over the recruits who placed trays of food down before seating themselves to begin eating.

"Honored, over here." Short Blade called out. He was in line holding a tray in his magic field. He levitated a pale green plastic tray to me. I reached out to snag it from his light blue aurora. As I grabbed the tray I felt a tingle in my hand.

It felt like my hand was asleep. I transferred the tray to my other hand and flexed my hand. It was still tingling and slowly stopped.

"Short Blade, you feel anything?" I looked at my hand, nothing different about it.

"Yeah. It was like I almost lost control of magic there for a second. What did you do Honored?" We stepped closer the delicious smells wafting from the line of food.

"Me? I didn't do shit. But my hand felt like it went to sleep." I wiggled my fingers to find the sensation had passed. Ugh, I hate that feeling.

"Hmm, yea I got nothing. Oh you have to try the hay fries, they are amazing!" he nodded to a tub filled with French fries. Really skinny French fries.

I looked at the buffet laid out before me. Hay, grasses, flowers, oats, and other plants. All of the pony food was cooked in oils and spices that smelled heavenly bit I knew that I couldn't eat any of it. What I wouldn't give for some Apple family delicacies or even Zecora's protein potion.

"So what you gonna get Honored? That daffodil and daisy cucumber sandwich has my name on it!" Short Blade levitated said sandwich onto his try along with a large spoon full of oats.

"Umm I can't eat this stuff. Humans can't digest this grass food." But at the end of the buffet line I noticed something I could eat. A platter of melons. There was a cantaloupe waiting for me to devour it.

I picked up the melon and waited for Short Blade and Hammer Strike to finish up piling their trays with food. They trotted up to me and we walked towards a table that displayed a large S on a banner. This must be Saddle table.

"Where are the others?" I asked, seeing the lack of the other two company mates. I unsheathed Bad Bertha and sliced the melon in half with such ease that I nearly sliced the table as well. Both Hammer Strike and Short Blade stared in awe at the power of the knife.

I picked up half the melon and stuck my face into it and began to eat hungrily of the sweet fruit. Damn, it's like anything here in Equestria is sweeter and more delicious than anything on Earth.

"Oh they had to pull guard duty at the gate today. They should be joining us soon, if their relief isn’t late. Bucking Charlie Horse Company can be really slack."

On cue the three other members of Saddle Company trotted up to the table. Fast Skies trotted up to the table and placed her try next to mine and seated herself next to me. Battle Plan levitated his try across the table and sat down facing us. Quick Flurry swooped low overhead and landed next to Short Blade with a soft thud and began to munch on some apples he had brought with him.

Battle Plan watched me for a moment as I bit into a large chunk if melon. He continued to watch me as I chewed. I noticed his staring eyes and slowed my chewing till I stopped.

“What?” I mumbled through a mouthful of sweet fruit. Holding out a chunk of the melon I asked him, “Want some?”

“Ah, no thank you. I was just observing you eating habits. Seeing a human eat is very different from a pony.” He watched me again and so did eveypony else at the table.

“Hey, can you ponies not stare at me that much while I eat, I'm starting to feel uncomfortable here.” I brought the orange fruit back to mouth and bit a large chunk of it away, tearing it from the brown rind.

Fast Skies gasped and pulled her head back. “Battle Plan I totally see it!” She scotted closer to me and said, “Do it again.”

“Do mhat amgan?”

“What?” She asked, raising an eye brow at me.

I swallowed my mouthful of melon, and wiped my mouth on my sleeve. “I said do what again?”

“Oh, eat the melon again; I want to see if you do the same thing?”

I rolled my eyes and ate the melon just as I had been doing for the last five minutes. I don’t see what could be so darn interesting about me eating some fruit. I know I'm amazing and all but I'm not that amazing.

So maybe I am.

“Battle Plan, I think I know what you're talking about.” Fast Skies leaned across the table and whispered into his ear. He nodded.

I looked at Hammer Strike, Short Blade, and Quick Flurry, “What are they talking about?”

“I don’t know. Probably about which one of us is cuter.” Short Blade rolled his shoulders and continued nibbling on his flower sandwich.

“No, because they already decided that I was the cutest.” Quick Flurry slumped against the table and flipped another apple into the air and caught it in his mouth. He bit it in half and placed the uneaten half back onto the table.

“Wait,” I asked, “Battle Plan is…gay?”

Quick Flurry sat up straight and took another bite of the apple. “What? Oh no, he just is more connected with his filly side than us. So he and Fast Skies are pretty tight friends. She is the only mare in Saddle Company… and in the most of this training camp. So they can talk about filly things.” He ate the rest of his apple and burped.

“So Honored Service,” Battle Plan and Fast Skies were both staring at me with goofy grins plastered on their faces.

“Yes?” I was a little nervous; I didn’t like the look that was spreading on their faces.

Battle Plan moved closer down his side of the table so he was directly in front of me. “What are human diets primarily made of?”

I gulped and thought about this. Tell the truth about meat? Or lie? So far being truthful has gotten me far. Might as well continue that streak.

“Humans are omnivores so we can eat fruit and vegetables along with meat.” None of the ponies showed any emotion to that statement. “You know, like living creatures.” Still no reaction. “That doesn’t bother any of you?”

“Fast Skies spoke up. “No, why should it? Do you eat ponies?”

“No. I did eat beef, pork, fish, and chicken.”

“Well as long as you don’t turn and start eating us, I don’t see why it’s a problem. Griffons eat all that, and they are somewhat civilized.” Fast Skies turned her attention back to watching me eat the remainder of my melon.

“Okay, seriously, what is so interesting about the way I eat?”

“Your teeth.” She said bluntly as she turned away from me and back to her tray of oats and hay.

“What about them?” I was now curious as to what was interesting about them.

“Those ones,” She pointed at my mouth with a red hoof, “Are sharp and pointy.”

I placed a finger on my canine teeth. “Yeah, these are the teeth that were used for eating meat.”

Battle Plan coughed and held out a hoof. Fast Skies sighed and placed three shiny bits into his out stretched hoof. “Thank you.”

“Wait, you made a bet on my teeth?” What the hell I wanted in on this game. I would make so much bank.

“Yes, we did. You see I bet Fast Skies here that your sharp front teeth are used for ripping and tearing of substance while she believed that they were for-“ He was cut off as a hoof full of hay hit him in the face.

“I said something silly and there is no need to repeat it. Isn’t that right Battle Plan.” Fast Skies gave him a look that could have frozen a cockatrice.

Wiping of his classes with his napkin, Battle Plan nodded. “Yes, I suppose it would be your choice to enlighten out friends here to your side of the bet.” He placed the glasses back onto his muzzle and sipped on his drink,

“Well Fast?” Short Blade leaned in to hear.

“No.” Skies, turned around with her back to the table.

“Fast, don’t make me do it.” Short Blade narrowed his eyes and gave a smirk. Fast Skies looked at him.

“You wouldn’t dare.” She narrowed her eyes at him, staring off at the unicorn.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a fork levitate itself and come up behind Fast Skies. She was unaware of the floating eating utensil that was moving closer to her back. I watched with amazement as the fork placed itself at the base of her mane and in a quick motion slid all the way down her back.

“Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!” Fast Skies screamed, except it came out as a loud groan. She slid out of the bench and landed on the ground. She quickly righted herself and sat back at the table. A light shade of pink was developing along her muzzle as she stared down at her tray.

“Well Skies, are you going to tell us, or do I have to use a spoon next time?” Short Blade wiggled an eyebrow at the blushing mare; who then covered her face with her wings.

“no.” Was softly heard from under the feathers. “I bet that he used them for…mmhmmhm mhmmhm mhhm hmmmhmh.”

“One more time, I didn’t quite catch that.” Everypony, and myself leaned in closer to listen to the red pegasus.

“I said, I bet he used them for latching onto…a mate. During mating.” Fast Skies had now created a wall around herself using her wings.

It was deathly still for once at Saddle Company’s table. Then an explosion of laughter rang out across the entire mess hall 4 stallions and one human were shaking with fits of laughter. One blushing red mare was the center of attention.

Short Blade was the first to recover. “Okay, that’s enough guys. It was an honest mistake, we know literally nothing about humans. Thank you Skies for being a good sport.”

She waved a hoof at him, as her muzzle returned to its normal color. “Sorry Honored if that was a little embarrassing.”

I flashed a smile at her, and I made sure to show all of my teeth. “It’s alright Fast Skies. I’ve had worse happen.”

I really liked this company, I felt truly at home. Almost as if I had never left the military college in the first place.

"Alright, lets go do some drills. First up, the fun park." Dun Dun Duuuuuuuun

The Ffffuuuuun Park

The Ffffuuuuun Park

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 24
By Honored Service

“Welcome recruits to the fun park.” The gruff drill Sargent strolled in front of the line of multicolored ponies and one tall human, all who had dreams of becoming members of the royal guard. “You worthless excuses of ponies…and um a human…are going to be able to complete this course in under 2 minutes by the time you graduate. And if you don’t, then you are going to back up and get the buck off of my training course. Are we clear?”

“Sir yes sir!” cane the echo from the throats of the assembled ponies and one human.

“Let’s see who the lucky company is that’s going first…Saddle Company, step up to the starting point, the human is running this first.”

I stood at the front of the line staring at the impressive course laid out in front of me. There was a 50 foot rope wall that o had to climb first, after that was a 30 foot plank wall, how a pony claimed that I have no idea, and then the giant mud pit, then to finish it off the ungodly course was a barbed wire crawl and a mad dash to the finish line. Piece of cake. Fuck.

“Hey, don’t sweat it human.” Quick Flurry patted me on the back. “I heard that the drill Sargent is the only pony that has completed it on the first try.” I swallowed and took a deep breath.

“Well, I'm not a pony.” I crouched low the ground and waited for the signal to begin. The drill Sargent looked at me and raised his whistle to his lips.

TTTTTTTTTWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTTT

I bolted from the starting line and rushed up to the rope wall. I leapt up onto the rung I could reach by jumping which was about 4 feet above my head. I hauled myself up the rope wall with amazing speed. Hand over hand I pulled my way to the top of the wall, I swung my left leg over the top and followed with my right leg. I then lowered myself down the wall fast. So fast that I could feel the ropes burning my palms. I was going to feel this in the morning.

I jumped down the last 10 feet and preformed a shoulder roll to absorb most of the impact. I sprinted towards the plank wall while rotating my shoulder to make sure I hadn’t damaged it in any way from the roll. Nope all good here, lets climb this wall. Again I jumped as high as I could and slipped my fingers into the cracks between the boards, and kicked up with my feet repeating the process till I reached the top. Kicking my left leg over the top I shimmed my way down till I could kick myself off the wall, Assassins Creed style and shoulder rolled again; coming up running to the large pit of mud.

I jumped as far as I could over the pit of brown gooey liquid and struggled to walk through the mess of mud. There was no trick to this, just sheer will power to get through it. I trudged my way through the muck till I reached the other side and leapt out through the mud, landing on my feet and zoomed to the barbed wire overhanging section.

I dropped to stomach and crawled as fast as I could to under the razor sharp wire. I pulled myself along the ground grunting as I moved one arm in front of me just a little too high and felt the pain of metal slashing through my sleeve and into my flesh. “Fuck!” I continued till I was out from under the wire and stood up. I saw the finish line 50 yards away. Time to end this.

I gave it my all as I sprinted the final stretch of the fun park. My lungs were on fire and all of my muscles were aching in pain as I pushed myself to cross the finish line in the shortest amount of time possible. My arm was bleeding profusely as I ran the last leg of the sprint. I saw the white line pass underneath me. I stopped just after the line and collapsed to the ground panting like a dog.

Pant “Piece” Pant “Of” Pant “Cake”

TTTTWWWWWWEEEEEETTTTTTTTTT “TIME” I heard the gruff drill Sargent yell out.

“1 minute 26 seconds.” Said the timid Corporal that was following the DS around the course keeping record of recruit’s time.

“WHAT?” Barked the Sargent as he spun to face the Corporal. “HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBILE? SHINING BUCKING ARMOR COULDN’T EVEN DO THAT TIME. TARTAUS, I COULDN’T EVEN DO THAT!” Every recruit cowered in fear from the exploding ball of rage that was the Sargent at this time.

I stood up on shaky legs and walked over to the drill Sargent. He stopped screaming as I neared and just stared me down. “Sir, permission to retrieve medical supplies for my arm sir?” He grunted and gave a simple nod.

I wandered off towards a building that had a large red cross on it. As I passed by the line of recruits; all of them watched me go with jaws on the ground or expressions of awe on their face; everypony but the members of Saddle Company who were all cheering and screaming for the success of their newest company member.

“Way to go Honored!” Quick Flurry did a flip in mid-air.

“Damn!” Hammer Strike pumped a hoof in my direction.

“Good job little human.” Fast Skies said as she waved a wing at me.

“Your strategy of conquering the rope wall was brilliant.” Battle Plan said as he scribbled something down into a blue notebook.

“Excellent work Johnson.” Short Blade trotted up to me. “You may be a human, but you have the strength and endurance of a damned earth pony.” He slapped me on the back and walked with me to the infirmary to bandage up my arm.

*********************************************************

“Sarge, are you okay?” Corporal Hayseed asked his slightly dazed and angry Sargent.

“Kid, I have been training guards for 40 years. and that, that was something I can’t even describe. They way that creature carried out the obstacle course was insane, He was a precision machine that was made to do it.” The Sargent spun around and looked at the Corporal. “Did you see what happened when he sliced himself on the wire?”

The Corporal shock his head.

“All he did was curse and move on. He was bleeding a lot and didn’t even let it affect him. That wasn’t a recruit; that was an artist.”

*****************************************************************

“There we go, those stitches should heal it up nice and clean. But it is going to leave a wicked scar.” Dr. Careful said as he finished the last stitch on my arm.

“Thanks Doc!” I said as I got up from the reclining chair I had been seated in during the quick fix procedure. Now I had bad ass scares on both arms. I was going to get all the ladies…mares?

“Let’s move back to the barracks Honored, the others from Saddle should be finishing soon.” Short Blade trotted in front of me and opened the door. I followed him back to the barracks, I could sure lie down for a while and rest. The fun park had left me feeling very drained and tired.

“So, how’d I do Blade?” I hadn’t been focusing too much on my time, more on breathing and stopping the bleeding that was occurring on my arm.

“Well Service, you just set a new record for the time it took to complete the fun park. The drill Sargent that was leading us had set the record at 1 minute 45 seconds, almost 43 years ago when he was a recruit. You dethroned the king, so to speak.”

“Wow, really? Damn, it felt like it had actually been a lot longer to me.” We walked up to the door leading back into out barracks. Short Blade, slowly pushed opened the door and we stepped in.

I was greeted by my new friends cheering and gathering around me to throw me into the air. They set me down and continued to congratulate me on a job well done.

Maybe this pony training wasn’t actually going to be too hard. If I had just broken a pony record without even trying, than maybe this whole royal guard thing would be a snap.

That night during dinner, I watched as Captian Shinig Armor walked over to a large board on the side of the mess hall wall that displayed the times and names of ponies that had completed to fun park in record time. The drill Sargent, Gallant Banner, was lowered to spot number 2, while a new named was placed at slot number 1.

Johnson, Honored Service. – 1min 26sec

I had just made my first mark on the Royal Guard training camp, and I was sure that it wouldn’t be the last.

“Attention Companies; Charlie Horse, Saddle, Bridal, Equine, and FoalTrot you are to report to hoof to hoof training at 0930. Weapons of any type are not allowed as this is hoof to hoof, not close combat. That is all.” Shining Armor walked off, but not before nodding at me and giving me a sly wink.

Shit, what was that for.

*************************************************************

“Listen my subjects, my minions. We may have been stopped, but rest assured, that I your Queen, have found a source of power that will rival that of the entire population of ponies that stand against us.” The dark shelled leader stood atop her castle as she addressed her loyal followers. She carefully and gracefully cantered her way over to a door and opened it removing a small white orb from inside the room. Holding it above her head in a sickle green magical aurora she showed it to the thousands of insec-toid ponies bellow her.

“This is the object of immense power, once it is opened; I will be unstoppable and then not only will Canterlot fall, but all of Equestria.” The entire population of the hive, exploded into evil, maniacal laughter. The pearly white orb, slowly turned pitch black and began to swirl as two dark red eyes formed looking out into the see of shelled creatures.

For the first time since being stopped by the Elements of Harmony over 2 years ago, the Evil that was known as the Nightmare felt something stir inside of it; a feeling that it hadn’t felt in thousands of years. Hope. Hope for another chance, to rule and ultimately destroy this world.

The Lightning Strike

The Lightning Strike

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 25
By Honored Service

"So am I not going to have to do hoof to hoof training since I don't have hooves?" I was walking in a simple formation with the rest of Saddle Company as we marched towards the designated training area. We marched in two rows of three. The unicorns in front, the Pegasus in the middle, the earth pony and the human in the rear. The company had decided that I was the other earth pony since I couldn't fly or use magic. #earthponyswag

"Oh no Honored, afraid to get your delicate human hands dirty?" Fast Skies turned and winked at me.

"No, I just don't want to have to show everypony up, with my insane mind blowing skills of a true warrior." And yeah, hooves were a lot harder and tougher than hands.

"Whoa, somepony's getting an ego." Short Blade called back from the front of the line. "You had better check that in before one of the instructors sees it. They love cracking egos. Especially the hoof to hoof one, Lightning Strike."

"Is he that tough?" I was a little nervous about this hoof to hoof stuff; I could do hand to hand, but that was for fighting humans, not four legged ponies. That could use magic. Who could also fly.

Hammer Strike turned to me, "It's not that he is tough, he's actually small by earth pony standards, it's that he is the best at what he does. He trained in Trottingham with many different masters in the hoof to hoof stuff."

"So he's a bad ass? We should get along just fine." Saddle Company entered the building right behind FoalTrot Company. Time to kick some flank as it twere.

"Oi listen up lil' recruits. It's my job as your instructor to make you angle to kick some arse and send bad ponies crying home to their mums. When in this buildin' I am your master and leader. Hoof to hoof is different from any other course here." This Lightning Strike spoke with some kind of British accent as he paced in front of us. Hammer was right, he was small. He must have been at least a head smaller than other earth ponies. But he must be good if he's in charge of the training for hoof to hoof.

"You will learn to counter and attack your combatant, along with how to avoid getting your flank smashed by some lil' wanker. Any questions?" he scanned the room looking for hooves. Upon seeing there was none, he stood in the center of the class. "Well then lets dive right in. Honored Service front and center."

I moved out of formation and stood in front of the short earth pony. He had a dark grey coat and a mane and tail that was the bright yellow white of lightning. His cutie mark was strange, it showed a horseshoe with a boxing glove? Wait how did ponies know what boxing gloves were, they wouldn't fir a pony, I mean I guess they could it would just be lose. What the hell logic?

"Sir Honored Duty reporting as ordered." I stood at attention.

"Aye I can see that. Drop the guard formal shit. You won't be doing it on the battlefield so don't be doing it in here. That goes for all you lil' recruits." he yelled at the formations of ponies behind me.

"Now recruit, I have had the joy to fight griffons, ponies, mules, even a changeling, but I have never fought a human. Now I hear you are a solider from your world?" He gave me a dead stare waiting for my response. I think I knew where this was leading to.

"Sir yes... I mean yeah I was."

"Great. Head to the left and into the ring mate, it's time to see what humans are made of. And this is a good way to see how that training of yours does against me." He gave a wicked smile and ushered the formations of ponies into some seating area that looked into a ring. Or more correctly an octagon. Fuck.

I followed some stairs down into the octagon and removed my shirt, pants, and my holster belt combo and found some shorts that were next to the entrance. That bastard had planed this from the time I came to the training camp. He even had some damn shorts ready for me to use.

Lightning Strike entered the ring opposite of me wearing a matching set of shorts. "Listen up Suise, rules are simple, no groin shots or strangling with your open claws."

"Hands."

"Hands, claws same thing. Use whatever technique you want to in this ring to survive against me." I nodded to him letting him know I understand these rules. "Okay Corporal, start his time and count the hits."

"Gottcha Lightning." Hey that was the same corporal from yesterday.

"Best of luck to ya' mate, you're goin' need it."

A bell sounded nearby and the match began.

We slowly began to circle each other keeping some distance from each other. He was waiting for me to strike first, but I was sticking to my morals. I wasn't an attacker, I was a defender, a protector; a force of -

I hadn't even noticed that Lightning moved up and swiftly to his left and jumped. I saw him out of the corner of my eye before I felt a hoof make contact with my jaw.

SMACK

I stood there and lifted my arm to feel the spot that I had just been punched. I could already feel it swelling up. Lightning had retreated to opposite side of the ring, where he paced slightly. He had a look of slight confusion on his face, "Bloody Tartarus, that was a KO right hook. Thick skull mate, good on ya."

We began to circle again, but now that he had thrown the first punch, IT. IS. ON.

He lunged at me, but I was ready this time. I side stepped just as he flew by me. I lashed out with my right fist and connected into his side, just as he spun around threw out his left hind leg. We both connected at the same time. My punch and his kick. I staggered back shaking my head as he fell onto his side and groaned. He slowly got back up as I leapt at him.

He slid out of he way as I came down on the spot he was at with fist. He dashed around behind me and sprung at my in protected back. I dropped to my back just as he passed over me. I saw my opening and took it.

As he passed over me, he looked down into my eyes. And I looked up at him; and gave my trademark smile, flashing my teeth. With that I kicked my legs up Ito his gut and kicked him up and over into the side of the octagon.

CRASH

"Bloody, that's gonna hurt." Lightning coughed as he righted himself up and continued to stare me down. He had a look of furry in his eyes now as he watched me. He knew what I was capable of now.

He rushed forward and stepped left, I moved to right to avoid him, but I watched as I moved right he quickly spun and delivered a round house kick to my head as I tried to side step him.

CRACK

I saw he ground rushing up to meet me as I fell forward onto the floor. Damn, that was a Buck Norris kick. Get it?

"Oi, you alright human?" I opened my eyes to see a sweaty Lightning Strike standing above me. He extended a hoof to me. I took it gratefully as he helped me back onto my feet. I may have lost, but I knew how to lose with class.

"I'll tell you recruit. No one has ever hit me twice in this room. Except for Shining Armor, you're the first." He walked with me to the exit of the octagon. "You're training from Earth seemed to do alright here, just a few adjustments here and there and you'll be all set. Good match Honored." He stuck a hoof out to me. I took it in my hand and have him a hoof/handshake.

"I look forward to learning more from you Lightning." I may have been beaten, but I was glad it was by an instructor and not a true enemy. I wasn't an invincible human, but a humble recruit in traning to be a Royal Guard and then an Equestrian Honor Guard.

"And I look forward to teaching you mate." We both stepped back in front of the other recruits. The nearest one hoofed me my clothes, belt, and holster. I walked back to my spot among my company and received some smiles and nods from my friends.

"Now that I'm done playing around, we're going to pair up and practice some basic stances and counters. Honored, sit this out and get some ice for your head. That leaves us one pony short of even pairs. Ah you there, Hammer Strike, your flank is with me. Get on it wankers pair up."

For the first time since starting training, I saw a look of brief fear on Hammer's face. Priceless.

"I thought I said I didn't want to see you in here again." Joked Dr. Careful as he placed an ice pack on my swollen head.

"Sorry Doc, I just couldn't resist your charm and smile. Ouch!" I flinched as the ice pack was pressed down harder against my swollen jaw and temple.

"Oh sorry." He gave a fake smile. "Now keep that pressed there while I fill out some paper work."

The cream colored unicorn trotted to his desk and levitated a folder out and a pen over to it. "Now let's see, large bruising on the jaw and temple area of the head. Now how did this happen Honored?"

"Lightning Strike."

"Ah I see, hoof to hoof." I heard the scratching of a pen as he wrote down my information. The door leading into the room opened.

"I'll be right with you, I just need to finish with this recruit." Dr. Careful said without looking up from his paper work.

"Oh that's quite alright Dr. I'm here to see my little human anyway." I recognized that motherly calm voice anywhere.

"Ah your majesty!" The doctor dropped to floor and bowed. I gave a salute and a simple bow.

"Howdy there Princess Celestia!" I walked over to her while keeping the ice pack against my head.

"Doctor, would it be alright if I borrow this patient from you!" The princess smiled and looked at the trembling stallion.

"Oh course Princess, I'm finishing his paper work anyway." He turned and looked at me. "And you keep the ice on that, and try not to get hit there for a couple days. I mean it when I say I don't want to see you in here again Honored."

As I walked out with the princess I turned and said, " At the rate I'm going Doc, I'll see you after every training course."

The princess and I walked through the infirmary and out onto the street. Ponies stopped and bowed or saluted to her as we continued to walk to the massive doors leading into the back of the castle.

"So would you care to explain why you have reported to the infirmary twice in less than 24 hours?" Celestia raised and eyebrow at me. She had a slightly annoyed look on her face. "Are other ponies treating with hostility?"

"Oh nothing like that your highness."

"Johnson, we have been over this, Celestia please."

"Of course Celestia. The first time I cut myself on the razor wire on the obstacle course," I rolled up the sleeve on my shirt and showed her the freshly stitched cut, " And this time was for ice after sparring with Lightning Strike." I pulled the ice pack away to show her the bruised jaw line and temple.

"And how did you do?" She asked as we passed through the doors leading into the throne room.

"Well I passed the obstacle course in 1 minute and 26 seconds. And I landed two hits on Lightning before he round house kicked me into oblivion."

"Wow." The princess was taken back my already impressive feats. "I remember humans being tough but I guess I forgot how tough. I'll need to write to Twilight and let her know how you're doing."

"Thank you princess. I would appreciate that. To know how my friends are doing." We walked past the throne room and up some Starks leading to a tower. We reached a door that had drawings on it held in place by tape. The pictures showed a crescent moon and stars. While another drawing showed a white alicorn with a big red x over here. And after translating the writing I saw that it read, No Tia Allowed. How mature Luna.

I looked up at the princess. And gave her a 'what the fuck' stare. And gestured to the door.

"My lovely sister and I had a slight disagreement about something so she is now pouting. I was hoping you could help solve this situation." She lightly knocked on the door.

"GO AWAY SISTER WE KNOW IT IS YOU!" I was almost blown back by the shouting the came from the room.

"Sister, please calm down. I brought Johnson here, so he can end this little argument."

The door slowly cracked opened and One dark blue eye peered out into the hallway. I waved at her and door open up to allow us entrance into princess of the night's room. As we stepped into the room, Luna stuck her tongue out at Celestia.

"So what seems to be the problem?" I could feel the tension in the room as Luna shut the door.

"We... I designed armor for you to wear upon completion of your Royal Guard training, but Tia said she didn't like it. So she then designed her own armor after me and says we're using here design. And it's not fair!" Luna sat down hard and crossed her forelegs in front of her.

"Well why can't I just keep my current armor that why there is no arguing?" I liked my current armor and duster, it suited me well.

"NO!" Both princesses shouted at me at the same time.

Luna plodded forward and poked a hoof against my chest. "We... I have designed an amazing suit of armor and we... I want you to wear it." Her horn glowed a light blue and a piece of paper levitated itself to me. I snagged it out of the air.

On it was a masterfully drawn picture of myself (looking as gorgeous as ever) wearing a suit of armor. It was crafted much like an ancient Roman solider. The suit itself was drawn to be crafted out of a dark metal that was colored on different spots with blues, black, and purples. All dark colors of the night. The helmet had a large frilly top that was colored with blues with specks of white in it. Just like Luna's mane.

"I told you that he wouldn't like it." Celestia's horn glowed yellow and a second sheet of parchment flavored through the air and levitated in front of me. "Mine is clearly more suited for him."

This armor was constructed much the same way. Ancient Roman style. But this design was colored with bright oranges, yellows and gold. The frilly top of the helmet was red. Both princesses waited with large eyes and smiles on their faces to see which one I liked best.

"Listen princesses, both of these are really good. But Luna, yours looks like it is designed for a night guard, and Celestia yours looks like it is made for a day guard."

Celestia coughed, "Dawnguard."

"Whatever same thing, the point is that I'm neither one of those. The Equestrian Honor Guard is commanded by both of you. So the armor, if I even wear any, needs to be designed by both of you together. Working together. I'll leave you to it." With that, I bowed to the princesses and saluted while making my way to the door. As soon as it closed I waited to hear how my speech went over with the royal sisters.

"I want it to have a cape!" Celestia hollered at her sister.

"Please sister, those went out of style before I was on the moon!" Luna retorted in an equally loud voice.

"Ah sisterly love." I said while walking down the hallway back to the training camp. It made me happy to see that the all powerful leaders were normal behind closed doors.

I reached the barracks and headed to the flag at the back that had the large S on it.

I opened the door only to be tackled backwards onto the ground by Quick Flurry.

"Honored all you alright? Word got around that Celestia came and took to the castle and that somepony's heard lots of shouting and screaming. We thought you were being tortured or something! You should have seen Fast Skies, she was freaking out the most."

Form inside the barrack I heard Fast Skies, " No I wasn't! I was just worried that we would lose our number six! That's all nothing else."

Quick Flurry just rolled his eyes and shock his head. "So what happened?"

"If you get off of me and let me walk into the damn barrack I'll tell everypony what happened."

Quick Flurry stepped off of me and trotted into the barrack. I followed after the excitable Pegasus and shut the door behind me. I walked over to bed and collapsed on it, still holding the now melted ice pack against my head. I heard the shuffling of hooves an opened my eyes to see all Hammer Strike, Short Blade, Fast Skies, Battle Plan, and Quick Flurry all packed together around my bed.

"Ugh fine." I sat up and the ponies gathered in front of me like children getting ready for a story. "The princess just wanted to check up on me. I have been in the infirmary twice in less than 24 hours so she just wanted to make sure I wasn't being harassed by scary ponies like ya'll."

A collected series of "Ohhhs" was heard from the group of squad mates.

"Wait, but somepony said that they heard shouting and screaming was coming from Princess Luna's chambers. What was that?" Short Blade asked while looking at me.

My turn to finally be a troll. "They did." I looked at him and winked, while flashing a smile. All the stallions were quiet for a second and then burst out into laughs and other suggestive noises. Even Battle Plan got the joke and laughed along too. Except Fast Skies, who made a scowl and trotted off to her bunk.

I noticed her acting upset and followed her, leaving behind the group of rowdy stallions.

"Hey Fast Skies, are you alright?". I asked standing next to her bunk. She had her back to me and rustled her wings while tucking them against her sides.

"Yeah. Just fine. Something didn't sit right al lunch that's all." she still didn't turn around.

"Okay, we'll I hope you feel better, Sky." I walked away back to my bunk not noticing that Fast Skies had rolled over and watched me walk away while mouthing 'Sky'.

"Come on everypony, time for final formation." Short Blade called out. We all scrabbled from our bunks and ran outside were we all lined up outside of our barrack. Every other company was also outside as Captain Shining Armor and the drill Sergeants following behind him. He was checking to make sure that each company was accounted for and no ponies were missing.

He got to our company and stepped up to me. "I heard about what happened with Lightning. Good show I was told. I look forward to training you Honored Service." He saluted me. I was so stunned that I almost forgot to salute back. An officer never salutes a lower rank. I must have really impressed him.

Royal Guard training was turning out to be tough, but I was actually enjoying it, except for the new scare and bruised head, I was passing with flying colors.

Yo, what's going on y'all? I'm hoping that you're enjoying the story so far.

For those that have been paying attention, i start the military college in 3 days, so you will see a decrease in chapters, but have no fear, i will still be writing and still posting.
Peace-
Johnson

The Short Sword

The Short Sword

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 26
By Honored Service

"And I said that if you want me to do that, it would cost a few extra bits!" Quick Flurry finished his joke and waited for the laughter, but it never came. "Oh wait, I messed it up. Okay so Princess Celestia, a human, and a griffon walk into a bar. Well the pony trots and the human walks, and um... What does a griffon do? Hold on guys, this is a good one."

"Give it up Flurry, your talent isn't telling jokes." I laid back on my bunk, crossing my arms behind my head. We had all been listening to the Pegasus trying to tell the same joke for only the last hour.

"Yeah you're right; I just need to stick to being a fast an agile flier." He launched himself into the air, where he performed several loops and spins.

"As if Slow Flurry. Everypony knows I'm faster and all around better!" Fast Skies cantered her way to the center of the room and bowed. Everypony stomped their hooves in approval.

"That's not fair! You all are just supporting her because she's a mare!" Quick Flurry whined.

Battle Plan laughed at the sad Pegasus, "Actually she's my friend, but yeah, that too."

The door to our happy little abode swung open to show Captain Shining Armor standing there in his purple gold suit of armor.

"Captain on deck!" I hollered and we all stood at attention next to the end of our bunks.

"At ease recruits. I'm here to let you know that Saddle Company will be training with Drill Sargent Sword today at the Buckington Field in melee weapons. Swords and knives to be exact." He looked at Short Blade and smiled. "Some of you may be more practiced than others. You are to report at 1030. Understood?"

We all responded at the same time with an energetic, "Yes sir!"

"Good, I look forward to hearing about the training, Saddle Company is moving up in the ranks. I dare say when the Company Competition begins; this company could easily win top three." And with that Shining Armor saluted and spun around and exited the barracks, shutting the door on the way out in his light purple magical grasp.

We all returned the salute and waited for him to exit. As soon as the door shut, the five ponies all started whopping and hollering with joy.

"Can you believe it? Top three!" Yelled an excited Short Blade.

"I must say I had believed the odds to be against us from the start, but this is certainly a welcomed development." Responded Battle Plan as he cleaned his glasses with a small piece of cloth.

"Pretty cool." Came the calm and steady reply from the large earth pony.

"Oh my gosh! Saddle Company never makes top three! And yet we might! All thanks to me!" Five pairs of eyes stared at the hovering yellow pegasus. "I mean, we all did this together. Hehe sorry"

"I think this is awesome guys! But I do think we owe some credit to our own little human!" Fast Skies swooped over to me and threw a foreleg around my neck. "He's the one who shattered the fun park record, and landed two blows on Lightning Strike."

I was blushing now. I know I joke about being egotistical, but really I prefer to have my deeds go unnoticed and admired from afar. "Oh please y'all, besides today is going to be Blade's time to shine." I extended a hand to the unicorn I was talking about.

He nodded and rubbed his flank with his elbow. "Sure is, this little baby here wasn't just given to me!" He was rubbing his cutie mark like one might rub a precious gem for cleaning. The sword on his flank did seem to get brighter as he did.

"I remember like it was yesterday." He stared off into space.

Fast Skies leaned into my ear and whispered, "Grab a seat Honored, this is gonna be awhile."

I plopped myself down onto my bunk and listens to Short Blade's tale of how he acquired his cutie mark.

************** Short Blade's Story *****************

"But mom, all the other foals are getting to go play!" Whined a small orange unicorn trotting behind his mother through the stalls at the Sunday market. "Please!" the little colt bounced around his mother.

"Oh alright Shorts. But I want you home for dinner. We're having cabbage soup." She leaned down and rubbed the messy yellow and orange mane of the fussing foal.

"I told you not to call me Shorts! I'm Blade, the evil creature slayer!" He jumped into the air in attempt to kick an unseen enemy but only succeeded in tripping and landing on his belly.

"Whatever you say big brave Blade, now run along and play. Remember back by dinner!" The gray unicorn mother called out to the disappearing foal. She smiled to herself and continued shopping.

"Hey guys!" Shouted the young Short Blade as he entered the small park located in the residential area of Canterlot. "I get to stay till dinner!"

"Awesome!" Yelled a brown colt with a green mane. "We are just about start playing cowponies and buffaloes."

"No we played that yesterday." Said a small pink coated filly. Her white and pink mane bounced as she trotted up to the group of foals. "Let's play house!"

Collectively all the colts sighed and groaned save for one sage colored unicorn colt who nodded so excitedly, that his glasses fell from his face.

"How about knights and dragons?" Short Blade spoke up.

"What’s that?" Asked a light red Pegasus filly with an orange mane, who was hovering a few feet off the ground.

"There are the knights who have to defend the princesses from evil dragons!" Short Blade stood on his bid legs and gnashing his teeth like a dragon would. "I read about it in one of my fantasy books."

The group of school foals all agreed to this game.

"So who are the knights?" Asked a large, light blue earth pony colt from the back of the group.

"Ummm." Short Blade tapped a hoof to his chin. "Umm you, you, you, and me!" He pointed to a bouncing yellow Pegasus, the large blue earth pony, a unicorn with glasses and himself.

"Hey, I want to be a knight!" Said the light red Pegasus.

"You can't be a knight, you're a mare, and you can be the one of the princesses." Responded the yellow pegasus.

"But... I want to fight dragons." The filly slowly dropped to the ground and hung her head while walking away.

"I say she can be a knight too!" Short Blade smiled and stepped up to the filly. Her mood snapped back into happy as she leapt back into the air, where she stuck her tongue out at the other pegasus. He just crossed his forelegs and returned the gesture.

The other fillies climbed to the top of a small hill that was declared the castle, while the rest of the colts took off in different directions to be the evil, nasty dragons.

"Okay knights! Let's defend the princesses!" Shouted Short Blade as he levitated a small stick in his weak orange magic field. He nearly dropped it, but kept it up.

One 'dragon' made a rush towards the little colt. He smiled at his easy prey and leapt at the young hero. Short Blade nimbly side stepped out of the incoming hostile's path and lightly tapped him with the stick.

"Oh man! I am slain!" said the evil dragon, as he rolled over onto his side with his tongue flopping out of his mouth. "Bahhahahhah"

"I have beaten you evil creature! Hehe good attack dragon." Short Blade said the now dead beast.

"Hey thanks!" Replied the dead beast, who laid his head back down.

Dragon after dragon attacked the castle but the band of knights kept them at bay. But slowly the knights numbers began to dwindle as the dragons were able to capture the valiant heroes.

"I need some help over here knights!" Shouted Short Blade as he waved his massive sword at a ferocious dragon that was preparing to attack. No response came to the lone hero. He turned to see he was alone, facing this dragon.

"Your fellow knights have been imprisoned in our dungeons! Surrender your princesses to me!" roared the great beast!

"Never!" Cried Short Blade as he lunged at the dragon, prepared to give his life to guard the princesses.

"Then prepare to be defeated!" the dragon rushed at the charging knight. The knight jumped through the air, his sword spinning with him as he landed behind the ferocious beast. He blocked a claw with his sword and jumped aside as the beast made another lunge. Using his trust weapon he blocked another slash from the sharp claws and plunged the weapon into the dragons chest.

"Ahhhhh I am defeated! Curse you brave knight!" screamed the young colt as he kept the stick held in place under his foreleg. He collapsed backwards onto the ground giggling.

Short Blade walked over to slain 'dragon' and pulled his stick sword from the slain beast. "Have no fear princesses, for Blade has saved you!"

There were several gasps and awwws as something shone brightly from Short Blade. He turned his head to see that now resting on his orange flank was a sword slashing up through the air. Short Blade bounced up and down repeatedly giddy with excitement at his new found mark.

“Wow that’s amazing!”

“You're goning to be a real knight!”

“I wish I had my cutie mark!”

Short Blade said his farewells and ran all the way to his home to show his parents the cutie mark that now adorned his flank. His symbol of bravery and skill with the sword.

***************************************************************

I looked at the still spaced out Short Blade. He had a dopey smile on his face, while everypony else was in different stages of sleep and or boredom. “Wow, I can’t believe you all knew each other before coming here.”

“Wait what?” Short Blade shock his head to clear up his old memories. “What are you talking about? We meet here a little less than a week ago.”

Fast Skies and Quick Flurry both hovered in front of me, “Yeah, what are you talking bout?” Asked Quick Flurry as he landed down in front of my bunk, the red pegasus mare joined him.

“Well in the story, the five knights that defended the princesses had descriptions just like the five of y’all.” I gestured to each one of them.

Short Blade tapped a hoof to his chin. Slowly his eyes grew wide and he opened his mouth to say something, but just closed it. Finally he spoke, “I think hes right.”

“What?” was heard from four other ponies.

“Well think about it, we all came from Canterlot, and you all matched the descriptions from my memory. I guess I just never pieced it together, till Honored here caught on to it.”

“I do think I remember it!” Quick flurry jumped into the air and hovered above me and pointed a hoof at Fast Skies, “Besides, I would never forget a face like yours.”

Fast Skies turned on him quickly, “Was that a ‘I'm pretty’ or ‘I'm ugly’ joke?” She wore a neutral expression on her face waiting for Quick’s response.

“Um can’t it be both?” He tried to make a convincing lie.

SMACK

He rubbed the spot where the red mare had slapped him. “I may be a recruit, but I'm still a lady damnit!” She ‘hmphed’ and wandered out the door towards the training field.

“I guess we should get moving,” I said getting up from my bunk and began to suit up in my armor, “Let’s get after here and make Saddle Company look good.” I clipped the belt together, and holstered Spike and sheathed Bad Bertha. I slipped on my armored duster and flipped the collar up. Swag. Let’s go play with some swords.

“Alright listen up, this training course will run for the entire time you're in this camp. This is a no fooling around class. One slip up and instead of falling into a mud pit, you'll slice off somepony’s head.” The instructor Sword marched in front of Saddle Company. Since melee class was so important, the instructors made it a one company training class more one on one time with the Drill Sargent to master the blade.

“Some of you have your own weapon to use, but untill I'm confident in everpony’s skill, you will be using these dummy swords.” He tipped over a barrel and a dozen wooden swords spiled out and onto the grassy field. “Any question? No? Good, then pair up, and we will begin with the basic stance in close range bladed combat.”

I watched as my friends picked up their chosen weapon in their mouths or magical grip. I walked over to the only remaining dummy sword. It was about four feet long and hand a grip I could hold with both hands. It looked like an Italian two handed broad sword…oh this just got a lot better. I actually took an Italian two handed broad sword class on Sundays when I got leave. Kick ass. Watch out Short Blade, I got some skill.

“Well looks like you're with me human.” Short Blade trotted up to me, twirling his sword behind him in his orange glow. Show off.

“Alright, go easy on me Shorts.” I smirked at the new knick name he had given me to use on him. And judging by the reddening of his face, he didn’t really like it.

“Oh that’s gonna cost you.” He said while wiping the sword around and brandishing it.

“Totally worth it.” I smiled and took a broad stance holding the sword at my side dipping towards the ground at a 45 degree angle. The fact that apparently I was holding the sword with some type of knowledge behind it, caused Short Blade to stop his advance for a second. It seemed that he couldn’t really float the sword to far from him, or it would be disconnected from his magical grasp. I’ll keep that in mind.

He made a quick thrust at me, which I countered by making an ‘n’ shape with my sword and sending his off to the left side of me. I then brought the sword up intending to strike across the chest and neck. But as I moved up he side stepped around my wooden blade. I swung around bring my sword to a straight up and down stance and blocked his slice he made while moving around me.

“Good block Honored.” Short Blade panted as he backed up a few steps to gain some distance from me.

“Good side step and return strike.” I replied equally out of breath. I followed him as he moved away, I was going to keep my distance, not let him get away.

I was hatching a plan in my mind on how to beat him, and it would involve getting his fake sword, out of his magical grasp. As long as he had it in his magical field, he had more control and striking ability than I did with my weapon. I lunged at him hoping to take him by surprise, but was only blocked easily and Short Blade passed by me with ease.

I noticed out of the corner of my eye, that everypony else had stopped their practicing and were now fixated on watching the two of us spar it out. Even Sword had stopped to watch. He ran a hoof through his gray hair and watched with intensity at the duel taking place.

Short Blade circled around me as I prepared to put my new plan into action. It would have to get me within an arm’s length of his horn. That’s right, I was going to hit his horn and disrupt the magical flow just as Sweetie Bell had done to Rarity. That should cause his weapon to fall and give me the opening to end this match.

I moved to the left than immediately cut right and slipped past his sword which was coming in to get me from the left. I found myself closer to him and moved in to deliver the tap to the horn. I saw Short Blade’s eyes go wide as he noticed what I was doing.

TAP

I slapped his horn with enough strength to see the glow around it flicker and fail. The wooden weapon fell from his grasp. I made my move. I tilted my own weapon down so that it came to rest against the back of his neck.

But to my surprise I saw that I had me fake blade’s tip resting against the front of his neck, while I felt a point pressing against mine.

Short Blade was panting hard through his nose while clamping his mouth on the grip of his wooden sword. He had caught it in midair and turned so fast that we had ended up ‘killing’ each other at the same time.

We stood froze in that ending position for what felt like hours until Sword stepped forward and stomped his hooves against the grassy worn out training field. “I’ll say recruits that that was one of the absolutely best sparing matches I have ever seen in my entire training career. Shining wasn’t lying when he said that Saddle Company was becoming something great. I’ll make sure a report gets to him. Good work everypony, next course, make sure you bring your assigned weapon, as next class is live metal.” The dark green unicorn turned around and cantered off towards another Company that was stepping onto the training field.

“Well human, I guess nopony should ever underestimate you. That was the first time someone ever tied with me. Good show.” Short Blade levitated both of our weapons to the barrel and extended a foreleg. I reached out my hand and bumped his hoof with my balled fist.

“You were amazing Blade. That was a lot of fun, but I sure could use some rest.”

“Yeah, I second that.”

The new and improved Saddle Company marched off to the mess hall to get some dinner and to retreat to their respected barracks for a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow would be another day rigorous training.

The Dusty Trail

The Dusty Trail

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 27
By Honored Service

“Rise and shine recruits!” The booming voice of one of the many Drill Sergeants woke us all up from the restful sleep we were in.

“AHHH,” Screamed Quick Flurry as he landed face first on the wood floor, “I’m up.”

We all lined up at the foot of our bunks as the Drill Sargent walked in front of us. “Now I hope you all had a nice rest, because today’s exercise is a simple, easy going, 14 mile trail adventure through the Canterlot Mountains. Sound good?” He stopped back at the door leading into the barracks waiting for any complaints or questions.

“Should I pack my parasol?” I said quietly from my spot in line.

“WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT!” The angry stallion raced up and down the line, spittle landing on all of our faces at least once. “HUH? WELL WHOS THE FUCKING WISE COLT?”

I slowly moved forward out of the line, so I stood alone. I was feeling a total sense of Déjà vu right about now. The brown coated stallion slowly trotted right up to me. His light silver armor made an intimidating clinking as he came to a stop in front of me. I gulped and stared down at him.

“DON’T FUCKNG LOOK AT ME! LOOK STRIGHT AHEAD!” I refocused my attention to the wall straight ahead. “Now tell me why the Tartarus you decided to speak out of turn in my presence?” Wait, no rifle but to the stomach. No forceful beating? What is this place filled with so many wonders.

“I was just trying to lift the spirits of my teammates. I meant no disrespect to you sir.” I kept my gaze straight forward as I waited for the beating to occur. But it never came. Instead I heard…laughing?

“Hahaha, yeah I was the joker when I was in training. I’ll let it slide this time recruit, but only because I know what you were doing for your company.” He started trotting off to the door and opened it leading out into the early morning bustle of the training camp. “But there is one thing you have to do human.” He smiled and walked off.

Why did I feel like I just got a punishment worse than death?

*********************************************************************

“Hurry up back there Honored!” Fast Skies zipped in front of me and back to the front of the line. I swear, she has been checking up on me every few minutes. It wasn’t like carrying the entire company’s saddle bags. Like all 200 pounds of them… fuck my witty comedy genius.

Oh and on top of the entire ungodly amount of shit I had to carry, the Drill Sargent was sure to give me a yellow and pink parasol to carry with me. Currently it was open and shielding me from the hot sun that beat down on Saddle Company as we climbed the long winding trail leading through the Canterlot Mountains.

“Dude, how are you doing that?” Quick Flurry asked as he floated next to me. He was lazily flapping his wings, floating on his back. I could only give him an angry glare at the fact he didn’t have to carry the literal weight of the company on his shoulders.

“Do what.” I asked through gritted teeth as I stepped over a fallen tree trunk.

“You know…” He jerked his head in the direction of the red pegasus flying ahead of us, talking to Short Blade.

I just stared at him with a ‘the fuck?’ face. What was this energetic flying pony talking about.

“Oh I guess humans are just clueless.” He shrugged his shoulders and took off ahead of me and joined the others of Saddle Company ahead of me. Fuck all of them for not being able to share some of this weight.

“Alright everypony, stop here and rest for 5 minutes. We got a climb ahead of us to reach the point of the mountain, and then back down.” Short Blade said as he sat down and removed his canteen and began to drink. The others followed suit as I came up to them and dropped the shit load of canvas saddle bags on the ground.

“Damn these things!” I yelled as I flopped myself down onto the slightly rough and rock path. I pulled out my canteen and drank the sweet, sweet water that was in it. I was so focused on the life giving liquid that I didn’t even hear the slow steps approaching from behind.

“Ssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhh.” From behind me came a slow sinister hiss. A shadow passed over me and landed in the center of our little company. A creature stood before us, something that I had never seen before, and only heard about in ancient Greek legends. The creature had the body of a bull and the head and tail of a snake and stood at least 7 feet tall. I think it was called an Ophiotaurus What the fuck? Seriously, what perfect, peaceful world had things like this running around in the woods.

I reached to my side to bring my rifle to bear, but found that I only groped at air. Shit that’s right; I left it next to my bunk, since this was a simple little hike through the woods. I watched as the creature moved its way to the paralyzed Fast Skies who stood opposite of the creature. Her mouth was opening and closing like she was trying to scream but couldn’t.

I did the only thing I could think of at the time. I reached over and picked up the silly parasol I had to carry, and hurled it at the back of the ferocious creature. It slowly turned and faced me. Its serpent like tongue flickered out at me.

“Hey scaly, leave the mare alone!” I was standing now, and wondering what the hell I was doing. The serpent eyes followed my movement as I inched my way away from the others and towards the edge of the woods around the path leading up the mountain.

I stared the creature down for what felt like hours, and then I bolted into the woods. I heard the monster dash after me, and I could have sworn I heard a female voice yell, “Johnson.”

What felt like a repeat of my first few days here in the wonderful world of Equestria, I ran through the trees, while some hell spawn creature thundered behind me. Except this time I didn’t have rifle to save me, just a knife and pistol; and the fangs on that bitch behind me were longer than Bad Bertha.

I reached down and un-holstered my Berretta and continued to race through the trees, ducking and leaping over branches as I went. I looked over my shoulder to see that the creature was gone. I slowed my pace and brought my sidearm in front of me. I slowly began to move forward as I looked for the demon in flesh.

SNAP

I swiveled around and immediately ducked down as the Ophiotaurus hurled itself at me. I popped back up and fired at the creature as it turned for another run at me.

BANG BANG BANG

Tink tink tink

The red hot shells scattered around me as I backed up still firing into the raging monster as it opened its jaws wide.
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG

Tink Tink Tink Tink Tink Tink Tink

I side stepped around the monster as it slammed into a tree behind me. I turned to see that the magic bullets in the pistol were doing some type of damage to it. There was a large amount of blood pooling around the Ophiotaurus. I slowly moved up to it to inspect the damage.

“Sssssssshhhhhhhhh.”

“HOLY SHIT!” I screamed jumping backwards.

BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG
Tink Tink Tink Tink Tink Tink

The slide on the pistol stayed back as the last shell fell to the ground and a small wisp of smoke left the barrel and ejection port. I stood panting over the dead body of the slain bull/serpent hybrid.

I made my way back through the woods to where the company hopefully still was. It was easy to find my way back; the damn monster had created a path while he had chased me through the woods. It was at least 5 feet wide and 7 feet tall. Branches were snapped clean in half making it an easy walk back.

“Honored are you alright?” Short Blade asked as I came out of the underbrush and back to the company.

“Yeah, a little tired, but I think I'm okay.” I sluggishly made my way to him and sat down on a log nearby.

The large blue stallion that was Hammer Strike saw me and gave a sigh of relief. “Fast Skies is going to be happy.” He turned an trotted off at a brisk pace towards a large tree. A few moments later a red and orange blur rocketed towards me and knocked me off the log I was trying to rest on.

“Honored Service, you're alright! Thank goodness, I was so worried and scared that… I mean we are all so worried that you wouldn’t be coming back from that awful creature.” She walked in front of me and smiled.

“Thank you, for saving me. I.. I… was just so scared that I couldn’t move.” She looked everywhere but at me as a slight pink blush spread across her muzzle. “So thanks Honored.” She unfurled her wings and hovered away to all the saddle bags I had dropped and she picked up hers and threw it over her back. I watched as all the other ponies did the same thing and collected their own bags.

“What are y’all doing? I have to carry those. Drill Sargent said that.” I stood up to protest but immediately felt weak and light headed. I fell back onto the log. Fast Skies saw me fall back and flew over to me to help me back up.

“Honored are you o…” She was midway helping me up when she pulled her hoof away. I saw that it was coated in a dark red substance that shone in the mid-day light. It clashed with her light red fur coat. She looked up at me in shock and worry, that face would be the last thing to run through my mind before I felt too heavy to move and passed out on the log I was resting on.

*********************************************************************

I peeked open my eyes to a blinding whit light. I shut them quickly and now tried opening them again but this time much more slowly. As I came to my sense I heard the faint beeping of heart monitor and once my vision cleared, I saw I was in a hospital room. I had an IV hooked into my arm, and I was lying in a bed covered in thin white bed sheet. I scanned the room and saw nothing out of place for a hospital room. It smelled super sanitized and honestly I hated that smell.

I watched as a few ponies trotted back and forth in front of the door leading into my room. My favorite doctor entered the room with his nose buried in a folder. He didn’t notice I was awake.

“Hey Dr. Careful!” I called out cheerfully to the unicorn. He shrieked and lost his magical grip on the papers he was holding, they went flying in every direction as he stood there panting looking at me.

“Ah Honored, I thought I had told you I didn’t want to see you in here again?” He said as he began to levitate his papers back into the folder.

“But Doctor, you said that while I was in your office, not here in this hospital room.” I gave an innocent smile and watched as he huffed and placed the folder in a spot at the foot of my bed.

“You're very lucky to be alive, Honored. Not many ponies…humans could claim to have been attacked by an Ophiotaurus and live to tell the tale of it. By what your company reported in, you risked your life to save them; or more specifically one member of the company.” He smirked and raised an eyebrow at me.

“Yeah, that monster was going to attack Fast Skies, so I lead it away.” I pulled the bed sheet back and examined my chest. There was a large amount of bandages and gauze wrapped around my side.

“Hammer Strike and Short Blade carried you all the way down that mountain. They rushed in here and screamed at the staff till you were promptly treated. Very convincing, especially the big blue one. We just didn’t believe them at first about some creature like that attacking them, but we did find that they weren’t lying. If they hadn’t gotten here as fast as they did…well…”

“It’s ok Doc, I’ve nearly been killed twice now. You can say it.” I traced a finger along the four teeth marks that covered my right left forearm. I then placed a hand one the new wound inflected on me. Another cruel reminder of what protecting others cost me. But it was worth it. I was a human, I was a protector.

“Honored!” Fast Skies, Quick Flurry, Battle Plan, Short Blade, and Hammer strike all charged into the small room and gathered around my bed. They all looked extremely tired, but happy at the same time.

“It’s good to see that the amount of ant venom the hospital had was adequate enough to treat the portion that was in your system.” Battle Plan said as he patted me on the shoulder.

I reached my hand up and ran it through my still dirty hair, and I brushed against something. I pulled a large light red feather out from behind my ear. Now what was this about?

I saw Quick flurry gasp and look at Fast Skies and grab her foreleg and pull her out of the room and into the hallway.

“What was that about?” I asked still holding the feather in my hand. It was a long primary feather and it sparkled and glistened in the light as I twirled it in my fingers.

Short Blade and Hammer Strike just shrugged while Battle Plan tapped a hoof to his chin.

“Ah, so that’s what all the fuss has been about. Oh it’s something that Fast Skies will tell you eventually.” He smiled, but that sounded like all I was going to be getting out of him on the subject.

“Whatever Battle.”

My friends told the story of how once I had fainted from the venom in my body; they carried me down the mountain and into the Royal Guard hospital. I was “leaking blood everywhere” as Quick Flurry put it; once he and a blushing Fast Skies reentered the room.

“And here you’ve been for the last 2 days.” Hammer Strike finished very bluntly.

“Wait, I’ve been out for 2 whole days?!” I sat straight up in bed, only to fall backwards as pain ripped through my midsection.

“Now Honored, you have to move carefully and slowly for the next few day, if you want to make a quick recovery.” Doctor Careful said as he floated over a thermometer to me. I opened my mouth and he placed it under my tongue.

“You are going to be allowed to check out of here today, but no training, fighting, or really anything that puts strain on yourself in anway, do you understand me? The venom is out of your system, but the physical wound is still there, so don’t reopen it.” The Doc pulled out the thermometer and checked it and wrote something down in his folders and trotted out of the room.

“Well company, who has my stuff?”

**************************************************************

I walked slowly up the god damn stairs leading to the castle in Canterlot. So. Many. Fucking. Stairs. My company had made sure that everything was returned to me. My armored clothing, belts, holster, canteen, ammo, knife, and my beloved pistol, but now I was down a clip for the pistol, putting me at only 59 rounds left for the sweet little killing machine.

My beautiful duster had a large gash in the side which I stitched up with some black thread. Not perfect looking, but it added character. And I was all about character.

“Honored we…I am glad to see that you are making a good recovery.” The slightly loud voice of Princess Luna came from above me as she landed next to me and walked with me up the ungodly amount of stairs.

“Afternoon Princess.” I grunted as I climbed up another flight of these never ending stairs.

“Are you still suffering from the fight we…I heard about? Allow me to assist you!” She then violated my personal space and yanked me up and into the air in a magical field of energy.

“Put me down Princess Luna!” I screamed, but the Royal Guard ponies we passed just stared and didn’t bother helping a recruit. I would have struggled more but I couldn’t really as too much movement caused me pain in my side.

So I just hung limp in the blue aurora field as the Princess trotted through the castle humming a tune as we went along the way. I'm glad I didn’t have to walk, but this felt somewhat degrading. I was going to be an Equestrian Honor Guard, not some play thing to be picked up and carried around like-

“Sister we are here!” Princess Luna shouted at Princess Celestia who was sitting on her throne with a bored look on her face. I was dropped on the ground, right onto my hurt side.

“Ouch.” I grunted out through clenched teeth. I stood up and attempted a bow, but I wasn’t able to dip down to low as the pain returned to my side.

“Oops, sorry Honored.” Princess Luna brushed my shoulder off with a wing and walked next to her sister.

“Well Honored Service, it’s good to see that you are recovering from your latest adventure.” Princess Celestia perked up in her chair and smiled at me. “So you saved a friend by leading away an Ophiotaurus? Again, your bravery has saved the life of another one of my little ponies. At the rate you’re going, I might as well just give you the throne.”

We all laughed together, I would never want that kind of job. I would prefer to be on the ground doing it myself.

“I had Luna here, go and fetch you because I just wanted to check on how my favorite little human is doing. And I know that you’ll be back into shape in no time Honored.”

The Princesses and I talked for a little while about little things. The bad food at the mess hall, the conditions I was facing in the camp. She was especially curious about the red feather I had tucked through the top button hole on my duster. I told her that the pegasus I saved had given it to me. She seemed taken back by that, but wouldn’t tell me why. Same answer as Battle Plan.

Princess Luna escorted me back to the barracks before dark, this time I was able to walk on my own and avoid the humiliation of floating around the Princess.

“Why did you do it?” She asked all of a sudden, breaking the silence of the late afternoon.

“Do what?” I responded as we stepped through the gate of the training camp.

“Put yourself in danger to save Fast Skies. There were others there that could have helped you.” She stopped walking and turned to me.

“I…I really don’t know Princess. I guess I just didn’t want to risk any of my friends getting hurt by that monster. By leading him away, I insured that if anypony would be hurt it would me.”

Luna seemed satisfied by that answer and we resumed walking towards Saddle Company barracks.

We came to stop in front of the door leading into my temporary home while at the training camp. The Princess looked around and nodded to me before leaping into the air and unfurling her wings and taking off into the setting sky.

I opened the door and walked into the barracks to see all of my friends laying around and doing whatever they wanted, enjoying their free time. “So what’s up for tomorrows training everypony?”

Short Blade looked up from his sword he was shining and said, “Well look who’s back! Tomorrow is ranged combat training. Bows and arrows and things like that.”

I smiled knowing that my ranged weapon would put everpony else’s to shame. But I quickly decided not to use my rifle as I only had a finite amount of rounds left for it. I think I was in the 220 something range, I’d have to count tomorrow and do a weekly equipment check.

I guess I need to work on my archery skill anyway. Well I'm sure I’ll be good at it, how hard can shooting an arrow be?

The Dream's Aspirations

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 28
By Honored Service

I took another deep breath and slowly exhaled as I gained control of my heart rate. I stared at the simple red and white circle target down range, the bow was drawn and tight in my hands. Another deep breath. Peace, calm, tranquility, then let the arrow fly and strike its target down.

"Hurry up Honored!" Screamed the energetic yellow Pegasus as he hovered near by.

I eased the tension off the bow string and lowered the bow. "Listen Quick Flurry, this takes patience and skill not quick shots placed here and there. The arrows from a bow need to strike vital spots on the target to stop it."

That silenced Flurry as I readied myself once more for my shot. Deep breath, peace, be the arrow.

I pulled the arrow back till the string was as tight as it could be. Let's show these ponies why humans were natural fighters.

SNAP

"Ouch! Fuck!" I dropped the bow and cupped my hands on the slash that ran across my check. That cheap fucking bow string, it had popped and whipped across my face. My money maker.

I pulled my hands backed and saw a thin line of blood running across both my palms. Just fucking great, another damn injury.

"Fuck this!" I reached to my side and brought my rifle up to my shoulder and aimed at the unlucky target down range that had evaded all my arrows.

BANG

Tink

The wood and straw target exploded into chunks and pieces of wood and littered the entire range. I clicked the safety back on and let the rifle drop back to my side. Fuck you archery.

I ran a hand across my face and saw that it was still bleeding. Damn it, looks like I get to go see my new favorite pony again. I started off towards the infirmary for the third conscious trip.

"You okay there friend?" Asked the silver and green unicorn who trotted up next to me.

"Oh hey there Battle Plan, yeah I'm fine, my pride is hurt more than my face." I placed another hand across the gash and saw it was still bleeding a bit.

"I saw it happen Honored, sometimes after extended use, these bow strings become rather worn and should be replaced but they don't." We turned a corner and headed down towards the building that held the infirmary. A light breeze rolled over us and my duster flapped behind me as we walked. The cool breeze was welcomed on this warm afternoon.

"How did you do it so well Battle?" Battle Plan was never one for boasting or getting cocky but I had watched him fire 10 arrows dead center on his target less than an hour ago. He used his magic to hold the bow and arrow, but his shots were perfect, once they left the bow.

"Well the trick is really quite simple Honored. You see when you use the bow, you take your time and concentrate, but what about on an open field. Are you going to have time to take a deep breath and wait 15 seconds to control your heart rate? No you just need to... how did you put it... be the arrow. Let the force of yourself and the arrow become one and... oh how is it said... let it fly?" The smart unicorn looked up at me, the sun glinting off his glasses.

"You know what Battle Plan; I'll try that next time. Thanks." I patted him on the shoulder.

"No problem Honored, I'm glad I was able to offer you assistance. A story for the foals one day."

"What?" I asked as I opened the double doors leading into the infirmary. The nurse behind the counter saw me and sighed. She lifted a hoof and pointed down the hallway to the right; I waved a hand at her and walked down the corridor to Dr. Careful's office.

"Once I start a family, I'll be able to tell them I trained with Equestria's only human, and that I was able to help him." Battle Plan smiled at me as I knocked on the door into the office.

"Honored I swear if that's you!" Came the reply from the other side of the door.

"Oh darn Doc, how'd ya know it was me?" I opened the door and sat down on the table in the center of the room.

"Because, ever other patient is escorted by the nurse, and you are the only one that knocks." He trotted in front of me and stared at the gash across my face.

He levitated a cotton swab over and rubbed it across the cut.

"Hssh owwww that stings!" I recoiled from the evil white cotton swab that levitated in front of my face.

"Oh come on Honored, this is what hurts you? Not a bite from a Timber Wolf, not a punch from Lightning Strike, not a stab from an Ophiotaurus , but a little alcohol to sterilize the wound is what does it?" I just smiled weakly at the doctor. He didn't seem amused and just pressed the swab back against the wound.

Battle Plan gave a little laugh from the corner of the room from behind a magazine he picked up. I shot a glare at him.

"There, that's all I can do Service. It isn't deep enough to need stitches but it is going to leave a little scar."

I let out sigh. Another mark on my body showing my progress towards the ever looming fight between myself and this 'Nightmare' I knew almost nothing about.

"Well your side is also healing well, since you were able to walk here with little difficulty. The healing solution I put on it is working quickly. Please take it easy for another day at least." Dr. Careful levitated a bowl of lollipops over to me, "Now for being such a good patient you can have one." He cracked a smile at his attempt to humiliate me... but jokes on him because I walked away from the infirmary with two handfuls of lollipops.

*****************

"I still don't see why you took so many of the lollipops." Battle Plan trotted next to me as we made our way back towards the training field. My right breast pocket on my chest rig was filled with lollipops.

"You see, the kind doctor thought that my pride wouldn't allow me to take one since he was hinting at me being a little foal. So I took more." I popped a red strawberry flavored sweet into my mouth and looked down at Battle Plan. He just stared at me. "Whmt? Wamt onm?" I held out a nasty green apple one to him.

"Ah no thanks, you can keep them." But he was smiling and laughed a little bit at me and my crazy antics.

"Honored can you believe that only a little over a week ago we were just starting out training?" I shook my head at him. Damn this was some good strawberry flavoring or I guess it was natural here in Equestria.

"Yeah Battle Plan, and only 7 more to go!" We walked onto the training field and back towards where Saddle Company was still practicing with the bows.

THUNK

Another one of arrows hit the target in the second ring. I wasn't as good as Battle Plan, but I was damn good with the bows. I took Battle's advice to heart and stopped trying to use the bow like a sniper rifle and more like a point and click weapon, and it was working.

My training was once again back on track and steadily moving forward as I got better and better and as Saddle Company got better and better.

****************************

Three thousand miles away from the human in training, another force was at training. And it too was getting better and better.

The tall shiny black figure blasted another boulder with its sickly green magical energy.

BOOM

Chunks of stone rained down all around the lone fighter. "Muhahaha! This queen has more magical possibilities than that alicorn." Another rock was hit with green energy.

BOOM

"So much extra energy. So much potential. I'll make us stronger Queen. And I'll have my power and you'll have all of Equestria for yourself and your armies." the figure spoke to itself as no other creature was present with it.

"The human won't be a threat. An entire species couldn't stop me, let alone one. Oh no Queen, you can fly and use magic, I chose you to be my host. You found my prison and set me free, gave me a home, so I gave you this power."

BOOM

A rock the size of an 18 wheeler exploded like a firecracker. "Hahaha nothing can stop us alone, and combined with your armies; the whole world will fall prey to our might.

"And the best part Queen, is that fool Celestia thinks it will happen in a year."

The echoing of the evil laughter could be heard for miles but it nopony was around to hear it.

***********************

I woke up and jumped to my feet while grabbing my armor and duster and weapons. By the time I got to the door and opened it I was dressed and armored with my rifle slung across my back. I threw open the door to see the entire city of Canterlot on fire. Green and yellow flames covered everything; I stood frozen as I saw the castle of the Royal Alicorn Sisters crumble and fall off the side of the mountain to the land below. Changelings and ponies ran every direction chasing each other and fighting. And at the center of this hell I saw a creature that made me want to vomit with fear. A two legged creature wielding a rectangular weapon which fired in the direction of changelings and ponies alike, stood atop a flipped over market cart. A long duster flowed behind the creature as it turned to face me. It had glowing red eyes and a wicked evil smile. And a scar running across its cheek. It was me.

"Wake up Honored!"

I bolted upright in my bed covered in cold sweat. Fast Skies was standing next to my bed with a hoof on my shoulder. I looked around the room, everpony else was still fast asleep. Quick Flurry was snoring heavily and Hammer Strike rolled over.

"You were mumbling and started screaming." Fast Skies looked really concerned.

"Don't worry about it Sky, I just need to grab some air." I pulled myself out of bed and got dressed. I almost grabbed the rifle, but the dream was still fresh in my mind. I waved to Fast Skies who was still sitting near my bed and stepped out into the cool night.

I walked along the edge of the training camp, just thinking. That wasn't me in the dream, but yet it was. And that wasn't a dream, it was a nightmare.

"Halt!" I heard a voice command from behind me. "Oh it's you Honored." I turned to see Lightning Strike in his armor for guard duty.

"Good evening sir." I sad giving a crisp salute.

"Now what are you doing out here at this time of the night?" He stood next to me and sat down.

"Just needed to get out and get some fresh air."

"Alright Honored, stay safe." Lightning got up and trotted off to continue his rounds around the training camp.

I walked out the main gate and headed towards the gardens behind the castle. The lush green foliage and flowers were very calming to my running mind.

"Why does this happen. As soon as things get normal, one thing has to go and mess it all up!" I shouted at nothing in particular.

"I hope you don't mean me." I heard the soft voice say from above me. I looked up to see Fast Skies floating overhead.

"No I'm not talking about you Sky, it's just... It's nothing." I leaned forward against a railing that outlined a large flower garden. None of the flowers were in bloom, but the buds looked nearly ready to burst open. "Wait why would you be causing me trouble."

The Pegasus mare dropped lightly to the ground and rested next to me. She let out a long sigh. "Battle Plan was right, you are dense or just clueless."

"Okay what are you talking about Sky?" I was super confused. What is this crazy made on about?

Fast Skies turned to face me. She had on eye shadow? She never has worn that before... Oh. My. God.

My mind was trying to process what was going on.

The extra attention, the physical contact, the pouting when I had made a sexually innuendo, it finally makes sense to me.

Fast Skies had a crush on me! Or she was at least interested in me. Fuck. None of the FanFics I had read prepared me for a situation like this.

"Judging by the look on your face, I'll take it you finally figured it out." She let out a dry chuckle. "I guess humans are really dense."

"I like you Honored. No point in being subtle about it. I guess I forgot that you didn't know about pony traditions or stuff like that." She turned away from me and sat down and hung her head. I swore I heard her sniffle.

"Sky I..."

"No, let me finish Honored, I need to get this off my chest. All of it."

She sighed again, "Well you know I like you now, I guess you just couldn't read the signs. So I figured that after a while either you would realize it and confront me or that I would stop liking you. But then you put yourself in harm’s way to save me, and well then I realized that I wouldn't be able to simply stop liking you." I just stood there and listened to this strong mare who I had trained with break down and open herself up to me. It was so different to see her act... so emotional. It was a good kind of different.

"And once you passed out from the venom and weren't waking up... well we all assumed the worst. I was devastated. The guilt I felt knowing you were dying to save me directly. I... I felt completely alone Honored. And I hated you for protecting me. You didn't even know I liked you and there you were dying in front of me on the hospital bed." She broke down and began to cry into the bed of flowers. I moved over to her and placed an arm around her shoulders. Wow this was something she really needed to talk about. And I feel so bad for doing this to her, even if it was unintentional.

"So I gave you one of my primary feathers. It's... It has a deep meaning with us pegasus. Something really special."

She turned her head away from me and sniffled. I kept my arm around her. She needed some comfort.

"The primary feathers in Pegasus don't grow back once you lose them. And in Pegasus culture a female gives the male a primary feather showing her... commitment to her mate." Fast Skies stopped talking and turned to look up at me. Her eyes were still wet from crying and the fur around her eyes was wet with tears.

"Oh... And you want me... to be your mate?" My mind was still a little slow at processing all of this information.

Fast Skies simply nodded at me without looking away.

Oh god. What the hell should I do? I... I just couldn't really comprehend what was happening, but I knew what I had to do.

"Sky, look I... I think that you're an incredible mare but I'm a human and you're a pony. And we're both recruits and I... I just don't see how it could work."

A new stream of tears started coming from the young mare. I reached over and placed my hand on her cheek and lifted her head so I was staring into her large sea green eyes. I swept my hand over her face and brushed some of her orange mane off her face; she sniffled again and blinked away more tears.

"But I am willing to give it a shot." I gave her a smile and flashed her smile.

"Really Honored Service?" She sniffled and wiped a hoof across her nose.

"Sure Sky, I'll give it a chance, I'm here in Equestria to stay. And you are a great mare. I mean it Sky." I stood up and pulled Fast Skies to her hooves. "Come on Sky, let's go back to the barracks and get some sleep. We can talk more about... us... next time we get leave."

Sky gave a genuine smile, "I like that idea Honored."

The Royal Guards

The Royal Guards

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 29
By Honored Service

************************The Changeling Hive*************************8

“In only a few short weeks we will march through the streets of Canterlot and bring with us a new rule to the land of Equestria. For far too long us Changelings have been shut away in these caves and tunnels, and now with my newfound power, the time has come to end the tyranny of the ponies!” Queen Chrysalis stood atop a large plateau and spoke down to her massive army that waited patiently for its chance to once again cause destruction and mayhem to the pony world. The crowd of insectoid like ponies cheered and screamed with joy and pent up rage as the Queen nodded to her subjects and walked back into the opening of a large gave that was sprucely decorated with rugs and strange objects that resembled insect models.

“That went well Queen. They will be ready, just as we will be ready. Apart we failed with our plans, but together we shall succeed and watch Canterlot burn to the ground. And Equestria will know our might and tremble at our name.”

In a voice that had two tones, one female the other of a deep bass, the name, “Queen Nightmare”, rang out through the cave and spilled across the land causing the celebrating army to shudder under the evil hisss that came with it.

************************Back in Canterlot*************************************

“Oh come on Honored just once, for me at least?” Fast Skies pouted looking up at me.

“No, I won’t do this! It is wrong on so many levels I wasn’t made for to do this!” I wasn’t budging. Sky had been barking up this tree all day and there was no way in hell I was going to do it.
“It will be fun, I promise. And it feels like nothing else in the world.” She spun around and leapt into the air and landed softly next to me.

“Do we have to go so fast?” I gripped the metal bar in front of me and shifted my position.

Sky trotted behind me and tightened the harness that was around my chest. “Of course not Honored…. But that’s the only way!”

“Wait what-----AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I felt her back legs kick me and I stumbled forward right over the edge of the cliff. The hang glider I was gripping on was struggling to support my weight. Sky had said it would be strong enough but I was having a lot of second thoughts right now. I could see it now in all the papers, ‘Equestria’s only human dies when marefriend tries to get him to fly’, fucking terrific.

The wind was rushing by my face and the air was stinging my eyes as I fell faster and faster towards the ground which was coming up to greet me rather quickly. I heard a voice next to my ear screaming. It was Sky shouting something. I turned to look at her. She was falling with me, her wings tucked in at her sides and her mane and tail were wiping around behind her as she dropped with me.

“Pull up on the damn bar!” She shouted again. Oh right I needed to control this thing. I yanked up on the bar and the hang glider responded by coming out of its death fall and leveling out. So that’s why she had wanted me to wear the harness, so I didn’t get jerked out when I pulled up, that smart mare.

“And you can stop screaming, you're not falling…” Sky gave me a deadpan stare as I closed my mouth and blushed in embarrassment. Free falling to my death wasn’t exactly my favorite thing.

I looked around and saw that I was flying! Well gliding, but same thing. From this height I could see Ponyville and the Everfree forest spread out as far as the eye could see. Behind me the city of Canterlot was just waking up on this Saturday morning. The air was cool and crisp as it blew by me. The hang glider dipped a little as I eased up on the bar. I quickly readjusted my grip so I won’t spiral downwards out of control.

“See? Didn’t I tell you this would be fun? Nothing in the world compares to the feeling of flying!” Fast Skies did a loop de loop around me and pulled up in front of me flying backwards. She smiled and did another back flip.

“Pfffft, show off.” I rolled my eyes and continued to look around. It truly was something else. Being up here was amazing. The sights and the feeling of such freedom was simply breathtaking.

Fast Skies and I had been dating for two weeks now and to say I was enjoying would be an understatement. She was the one that made me do all this crazy adventure stuff. She had been pushing for this hang gliding session for days now and I really wasn’t to set on trusting my life to some cloth and metal bars. But somehow that damned crazy mare got me too. And I'm glad I listened.

“Thanks for doing this Honored, I just wanted you to know what it’s like being a pegasus. And I enjoy flying with you.” Sky turned around and leveled out next to me as we continued to just glide along taking everything in.

“Well thanks for getting me up here Sky. It’s truly something else.”

“Follow me Service, we can ride some upward drafts back towards Canterlot so you don’t have to carry the glider up to the city.” She winked and tilted her right wing and dipped off to the right. I shifted to the right and followed suit. I could get use to this flying stuff.

*****************************************************************

“Okay now you need to slow down or you’re going to hit the ground to fast.” Sky tried to give me advice but I could only see the ground behind the castle getting closer really fast.

“And how do I slow down!” I yelled back to the red mare who was rushing from side to side trying to offer me advice.

“Flare your wings!” She called up to me.

I simply turned and stared at her giving her the ‘are you kidding me’ look. The wings on this glider were fixed. I was simply and scientifically speaking, fucked.

As the ground came closer I unhooked the harness from the hang glider rig and prepared to jump. I leveled out about 5 feet above the ground and wait for it, wait for it, now!

I let go of the glider and shoulder rolled onto the ground. It wasn’t the most effective way down, but I hadn’t gotten too badly hurt, just maybe a bruise.

“There see, I had it perfectly under control!” I put my hands on my hips and stroke a heroic pose.

CRASH

I slowly turned to see the back end of the hang glider sticking out from a large stained glass window that was on the castle. And I think I recall seeing that window in the-

“HONORED SERVICE!” Boomed a loud voice. A pissed off motherly voice.

-throne room. Shit.

“And once you finish picking up all the pieces, then you can go back to the barracks. I will personally let Captain Armor know why one of Saddle Companies’ members isn’t at the formation.” Princess Celestia hadn’t really been mad about the window; she had even said she was looking for a reason to get a new one. But she was more upset that I could have hurt myself hang gliding, but in reality I thing she was just annoyed that I had scared her and caused her to upturn an ink well on her 2,000 year old book.

I reached down and picked up another piece of the seemingly millions of pieces that were scattered around everywhere in the throne room.

“Sorry again Honored, if I had thought ahead to landing… well you wouldn’t be here.” Sky was hovering outside of the broken window. She had explained to the Princess why I had been flying but I took the punishment. Flying had been worth it to spend an hour or two just picking up pieces of glass.

“It’s alright sky, don’t worry. Head back to the barracks and I’ll be there whenever I finish up here.” I waved good bye to her as she left. That mare, I swear she’ll be the death of me.

*********************************************************************

So maybe 2 hours had been a far off estimate. 5 hours later and I was finally done picking up all the damn glass. At least it’s all over now. And I won’t be trying to land anywhere near the castle again.

I began pulling on my regular armor and noticed the wear and tear training has put on my outfit. All the armor was still attached, but new scratches and dents covered the chest piece and arm bracers. My duster was now faded and had new cuts and holes in it, which I did always try to sew up, but I wasn’t talented in sewing. Even my rifle and pistol were now scratched up and worn, while practicing at the range weekly had cost me ammo. My original 225 rounds had dwindled to only 150 or 5 magazines of 5.56 and my original 75 pistol rounds and dropped to 45 rounds or 3 clips.

The only thing that hadn’t changed was the sharpness of Bad Bertha, who could still cut through just about anything with ease.

“Honored you almost ready man, this is it!” Short Blade was bouncing next to me. He was acting more like Quick Flurry now, but given the circumstances I could see that. “Well why aren’t you more excited human?” Short Blade asked while sitting down as I laced up one of my combat boots.

“I am Blade, it’s just y’all are done with your training after this and get to go be guards, and I still have another 4 or 5 weeks of advance training with Shining Armor before I'm done. Remember, Equestrian Honor Guard?” I finished lacing up my boots and draped my duster over my body covering most of my chest rig and holster.

“Well at least you'll have a high rank right?”

“Yeah I will. But with that rank comes more responsibility and rules, no more clowning around with you and Quick. No more chess with Battle Plan. No more discussions with Hammer Strike. And certainly no more time with Fast Skies. I’d be so busy with being an elite guard that I wouldn’t have any time for her, and shed find somepony else!” I sunk to my bed and placed my head in my hands.

“Oh come one Honored, is this any way for an Equestrian Honor guard to act?” Short Blade walked in front of me and poked me in the chest. “What’s this.” He pointed at the large red primary feather still tucked in the button hole on my duster.

“Sky’s primary feather.” I looked up at my unicorn friend.

“Exactly, that means she ain’t leaving you until one of you are dead. So suck it up and let’s get out there for our final training course run and knock the horseshoes right off the Drill Sargent’s hooves!” I stood up and looked down at Short Blade.

“You're damn right Blade! Let’s go get Saddle Company up to the top three on the score board!”

This was it, the final run through. A massive obstacle course was spread out across the parade field. Walls, pits, crawls, and jumps you name this course had it. There was no time limit, your company got points based off of how quickly and correctly your company completed the course. You could use any tactic you wanted so long as it dint involve flying around or skipping a course, so pretty much free reign to do anything. And for the last 5 years, Trot Company always won first place. But this year Saddle Company would make an appearance on the score board.

*********************************************************************

“Saddle Company your time starts…now!” The Drill Sargent blew on the whistle and our 5 pony 1 human member company sprinted out towards the rope wall.

I was the fastest at climbing so I was supposed to reach the top and then help pull the others up and over it and drop down behind them once everypony else had finished this wall. I jumped up and pulled myself up the way with amazing speed just as I had done so many weeks ago when I first started the training camp. I reached the top and reached down and yanked Short Blade over the top, and he began climbing down the other side. I repeated this process for everypony except for Fast Skies who when I pulled over I quickly ran a finger down her spine which elected a gasp and an angry glare but also a smile. Once everyone was halfway down the rope wall I followed suit until I jumped off the rope wall and shoulder rolled (making sure not to use the bruised one from hang gliding) and continue on to the next course.

We reached a large pit that was filled with green goo. That goo would harden like a rock if it left the pit so one had to cross it without touching it or else you would be slowed down for the rest of the course. I quickly got to thinking and hatched an idea.

“Battle Plan, use your bow when I tell you to.” We were all in full armor and gear which meant whatever we had, we could use. I sprinted back to rope wall and unsheathed BB and sliced away a long length of rope. I'm sure I could hear the Drill Sargent cursing me from across the field. I ran back to the group and tied one end of the rope to the arrow Battle Plan was holding and the other end to a post that was outlining the pit.

“Alright Battle, let it fly!” I yelled while giving him thumbs up. I ducked and slid under him as I heard the ting of the bow string release and the thump of the arrow striking something across the pit.

“Quick, you’re the lightest and fastest, get over the rope quickly and secure it for us heavier ones!” He saluted and shimmed across the rope.

“So you're calling me fat?” Fast Skies said while cocking her hip to one side. She had a playful smile on her face.

I was about to retort when Hammer Strike spoke up, “Now is really not the time for this love birds.” We both blushed but nodded to the earth pony who turned to watch Quick Flurry jump off the rope and land on the other side.

But his jump caused the arrow to come unstuck from the post and begin to slide towards the green goo pit.

“Quick, grab it!” Battle Plan screamed while pointing at the arrow that was about to drop into the goo.

With a dive and dive, Quick just barely caught the last feather of the arrow in-between his teeth and pulled back onto land. He quickly trotted over and wrapped the rope around the post and secured it with a knot. He waved at us to begin coming across.

“Alright; Sky, Short, Battle, and Hammer Strike get across this rope! GO! GO! GO!” I stood next to the rope and waved them across as they shimmed along the rope.

“Space out some guys! If you don’t the rope might snap into the goo!” Now that they were properly spaced out they continued till they reached the other side, at which point I followed suit and hand over hand pulled myself across the rope. Upon reaching the other side, I jerked the knot out and let the rope slide into the green pit.

Everypony stared at me. “What, you want another group using it?” A collective group of, “Ohhhh,” followed.

WE raced to a series of jungle gym like monkey bars that really just required your company to maneuver them without touching the ground once you started. A Drill Sargent was nearby to insure that if you did touch the ground, it would be recorded.

“Everypony across!” Hollered Short Blade. Everypony but Hammer Strike leapt onto the bars and continued swinging and grabbing their way across the bars.

I looked back and saw the large blue Earth pony just standing there. “Come on Hammer, we need you!”

“I can’t, I can’t swing like that, I'm too big!”

“I’ll be right here to help you Hammer!” With my encouragement, Hammer Strike began to slowly maneuver the course. We were losing time on this, but everpony had to cross the finish line together or your company was forfeited.

We were nearly done when I turn and see Hammer Strike slip from the bar. “No!” I shout and I jumped to catch him before he hit the ground. I grabbed his foreleg with one hand and the bar above us with the other. It felt as if I was being stretched in to. Hammer was a big mother fucker.

“Hammer, I'm going to swing you, and you're going to have to land on the other side, okay?” I grunted as he began to slip. He nodded. I slowly began to swing him back and forth till I felt he had enough momentum to clear the other side.

“1, 2, 3!” and on three I threw the large earth pony to the other side. He skidded onto his back and sat up. I made my way back across the bars and jumped onto the other side. “Let’s keep moving everpony!”

We raced towards the final obstacle, the log carry. A large log at least 10 ponies long was resting on the ground. A company had to get the log from one end of the field to the other. Without dropping it or coming to a rest until they cross the finish line.

“Hammer and Blade, you'll be the ends. Quick, Battle, Sky, take the middle. I’ll be behind you Blade!” We all got onto opposite sides of the log and got ready to pick it up. “On my count!” Blade yelled.

“1”

“2”

“3”

We all heaved and picked the log up until it rested on our backs. I had to bend over significantly so that I was on level with the ponies. “Lets…urgh….move forward!” We lurched forward at a steady pace as we carried the massive log to the other end of the field.

“I…urgh…don’t….think I can…. Carry it much longer!” Fast Sky grunted out through clenched teeth.

“Come on Sky, we only got a few more feet to go, just think about flying with me!” I called back to the struggling mare. “Were nearly there, just a few more feet!”

The finish line was coming up, only about 50 feet away. With a final push of adrenalin, we all crossed the checkered black and white line. The log rolled onto the ground with a massive thump. We all fell to the ground as well panting.

“Saddle Company, your time was 12 minutes and 36 seconds.” We all gave weak cheers and stayed collapsed on the ground panting for breath.

**************************************************************************

Princess Celestia and Princes Luna both stood on a large platform looking over the new batch of guards that had just finished their training. I stood out the most, not because of my size but because of my armor. It was brown and black, while everpony else was covered in gold and blue armor of the Royal Guard. We all stood still and faced straight ahead waiting for the princess to begin her speech.

“I stand here before you and I see so much. Weeks ago you came with the aspirations to become Royal Guard, and here you are. Full-fledged Royal Guards. I am so proud of you my little ponies, and my little human. You have all passed the training and so I commence to you Captain Shining Armor, your newest batch of Royal Guards.”

Shining Armor took that stage and saluted the princess. Everpony in the audience stomped their hooves as he stepped center stage. “And now I’ll give the results of this year’s final obstacle course run times. Trot Company with first place at 10 minutes 12 seconds.” Damn and I thought we had actually beaten them. Oh well we still had a great time. Trot company took the stage as Shining Armor placed a ribbon on their armored chest pieces.

“Saddle Company in second place with 12 minutes 36 seconds!” There was a thunderous round of applause as we all moved up on stage next to trot Company and Shining Armor placed a silver ribbon on us. My first ribbon in Equestria.

“And in third place, Clydesdale Company with 13 minutes 43 seconds.” More applause as that Company took to the stage to receive their bronze ribbons.

Sky brushed a wing across my back and I placed hand on her shoulder. We had made it. Our Royal Guard Training was complete.

We all marched together back to our barracks to back out things and move to our new barracks located in the Canterlot Castle. I was still going to be a part of Saddle Company, just on reserve till I finished my next 4 weeks of advance training. Hopefully that will go just as well as this training.

************************************************************************

“Soon Queen, soon. Everything will be ours. And that will happen very soon. Nothing can stop us once we begin, Not even the human will be able to cope with the awesome power we wield."

*************************************************************************

The Quick Change

The Quick Change

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 30
By Honored Service

“And I'm saying that we need to step up guard patrols here, here and here.” I pointed to three separate locations scattered around the map that showed the outlines of Canterlot Castle. I looked over to Shining Armor to confirm that I had made the right choices.

“Correct Honored. Very good, you are catching on very quickly to strategic planning.” He rolled up the map of the castle with his magic and tucked it back on the shelf. “Report back to you barracks; tomorrow we will continue this lesson.”

I saluted and walked out of the room and down the hallway that lead to the basement area of the castle that held the dungeons (never been used) and the barracks for the Royal Guard. The Barracks were just large rooms with bunks in them and storage areas for storing armor and weapons. Simple designs covered the walls in gold and blue colors. Officers got private rooms attached to the larger rooms and really high ranging officers got their own house in the high class section of Canterlot.

“Hey Honored!” Short Blade called out from his bunk as he placed his helmet down and laid a cloth on top of it. Must be time to shine everything, and this is why my armor and uniform didn’t require shining. Good old duster and body armor you haven’t failed me yet.

It’s been a week since Saddle Company had graduated from the Royal Guard training camp and we were all still together. At first we had been assigned to low level jobs, guarding the back gate, or simply patrolling the castle gardens. But after a few days of this Saddle Company was moved up to handling more important jobs. Quick Flurry and Fast Skies were both assigned to the Princess’s chariot squads and Battle Plan was given a position to work directly under the Princess of the Night. He acted as a late night consultant to Luna. Short Blade was actually going through some more training to become a sword instructor at the camp we had just graduated from. Hammer Strike found himself in a rotating shift at the Royal Armory where he helped craft the weapons and armor that the Royal Guard used daily. Saddle Company may be small, but we all held high positions throughout the castle.

“Honor!” Fast Skies tore through the air and knocked me to the ground. She immediately got up and blushed as Quick Flurry made kissing noises from the back of the room. She shot him a glare but then turned back to me and put on her adorable face with those big eyes of hers. “Sorry, I just haven’t seen you much with the whole chariot squad and your training lessons with Captain Armor.”

I sat up and began to run my hand through her orange mane. “It’s alright Sky, I missed you too; but maybe you can try to not tackle me every time I come in here?” She nodded and walked back to her bunk where she lifted herself up and laid down.

I walked over to my bunk and removed my duster and placed it on the rack next to my bed. I unzipped the tactical vest and hung it up as well. The belt and holster came off next and hung beside the vest. Already with all that weight off I felt more comfortable and I relaxed. Whenever I was wearing all my armor I just couldn’t really relax, I was always alert, always ready for something to happen, but once I removed everything, it was as if nothing bad could happen.

*********************************************************************

“The time grows close Queen, are you ready?” The lone figure stood atop a crest of a hill and faced the slowly setting sun.

“Yes, I am ready, as is my army. We will travel for two days and then reach Canterlot. This time there will be no mercy, no feeding, just destruction.”

“Good Queen.” The figure leapt into the air and took off into the sunset. A thunderous sound of thousands of wings buzzing became deafening as the Changeling army took flight to follow their leader to the city of Canterlot.

**************************************************************************

“Rise and shine Honor.” I felt Sky nuzzle my neck. I sat up and looked down to see her sitting there waiting patiently for me to get ready. Why was she doing that…oh yeah today is Saturday, and we both get leave on Saturday.

“Okay I'm getting up see?” I stood up and walked over to my storage locker and pulled on some dark blue pants over my boxers. A simple gold colored long sleeve shirt went on after that. I walked back to my bed and put on my belt and holster and reached over to the duster that was hanging up on the rack. I heard Sky cough.

“I can’t wear it?” I pulled the duster close to my chest like a small child would hold a comfort blanket or a small stuffed animal.

“Not on our dates. You know that.” She rolled her eyes and cantered over to the door. “Come on, put on your boots and let’s go; I want to get to Four Leaf’s before it gets too busy!” Sky took off like a bullet out the door as I slowly followed behind her.

This had become a Saturday morning routine for us. We wake up and got to Four Leaf’s to have breakfast, and then go for a walk in the Canterlot gardens. After that we mainly just walked the city and enjoyed being in each other’s company. We were still a young couple, but all in all I think we were handling it very well.

I exited the castle and exited the main gate, retuning a salute to the two board looking guards. I felt their pain, I had had gate duty before, it freaking was 8 hours of staring at ponies walking by, and the occasional punk that tried to get you to break the stoic expression you wore. Little bastards.

Fast Skies landed next to me as we walked down the cobblestone street. The shops were just starting to open up and a few ponies milled about the edges of the street. Down the road I saw the familiar sign of Sky’s favorite restaurant in all of Canterlot, possibly all of Equestria. Honestly I didn’t see what was so great about it. She said the grass and oat omelet was the best in the world, but seeing as I was unable to eat grass I would just take her word on it.

“Ah good to see you again Fast Skies, and Honored Service. Would you like your regular seats?” The owner of the restaurant, Four Leaf, ushered us to the corner booth that Sky liked so much. We have only eaten here twice together now, but apparently this was our regular spot.

We took our seats and Sky placed her order (the grass and oat omelet) and I ordered a cheese and pepper omelet, extra cheese. We talked about small things as we waited for our food to be served. I noticed that Fast Skies was being a little extra fidgety today. “Sky, is something up? You seem a little nervous about something.” I cocked an eyebrow at her; which only caused her to fidget more and give me a shifty smile.

“Sky?”

“You're the best right.” She looked everywhere but at me.

I crossed my arms in front of me as the server came with our food. He placed it down in front of us and Fast Skies immediately began stuffing her face with her omelet. If I wasn’t as curious as to what she was hiding from me, this would have been the most adorable thing ever.

“Weff my mofh is full so I canmt talk!” Sky proudly declared sending chunks of eggs and grass across the table. I just gave her a deadpan stare. She sighed and swallowed the food and looked at me.

“Okay Honored, in the last letter I wrote to my parents I may have mentioned that I had a coltfriend. And I may have lied and told them all about my strong earth pony coltfriend. I didn’t know how to tell them that you were a human so I kind of lied. But only a little bit!” she laid her head down on the table and brought her wings around her head to try and hid her shame. I could only laugh at this silly mare.

“Is that why you're so upset? Because you lied to your parents about me being a pony?” I laughed and put a fork full of omelet into my mouth.

“No, but because there coming to see us tomorrow.”

The forkful of omelet found its way all over the table as I coughed violently. Once all the egg had been cleared from my wind pipe I just stared at the mare across from me. “Okay, this isn’t that big of a deal. We can just say I got pulled away on a guard duty.”

“That might work.” She slowly got back into eating her food, while I began to think about how I could fix this situation.

As I lifted another cheesy bite of omelet off of my plate as an idea struck me. I dropped the food and stood up and leaned over and gave Sky a quick peck on the cheek. “I’ve got an idea Sky; I’ll be back at the barracks tonight if everything goes well!” And with that I dashed out the door (after throwing some bits on the table of course, I wouldn’t make Fast Skies pay for the meal) and raced towards the castle. I think that the Princesses owned me a favor for saving some lives. Let’s cash in on that now.

I climbed the stairs 2 at a time and skidded to the left and ran down the hallway to the throne room. I threw open the door and jogged up to the throne where Princess Celestia and Luna were staring at me. Granted I could have come in a little slower but this was an emergency.

“One…second….gotta…catch…my…breath.” I kneeled over and sucked in lungful’s of air. Once I had composed myself I approached the Princesses and bowed.

“My Honored, what brings you here in such a manner?” Princess Celestia asked while stepping down from her throne and gracefully making her way over to me; Luna following behind her.

“Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, I need a favor.” I scuffed my feet against the marble floor.

“Now Honored, I thought you would know that I can’t show special treatment to just anypony that would be unfair.” She looked down at me and frowned.

“No it’s alright Princess, I understand.” I turned around and began making way to the large doors to exit the castle. Maybe Zecora had a potion that could temporary turn me into a pony for a day or something like that. I could always try Twilight and see what she could do.

“But it’s a good thing you're not an anypony, but an anybody.” I spun around and stared at the white Princess who wore a smirk on her face. She fucking was toying with me since day one. God. Damnit. Princess Luna, you were about to become my favorite Princess if this shit keeps up. “What do you need human?” Luna walked in front of her sister and glared at her. She placed a wing on my back and ushered me away from the evil trickster.

As we walked out into the hallway, Luna magically shut the doors on Celestia who yelled from the other side of the large doors. “Oh sorry Tia, but I do think that it is still Day Court right now, ill handle the human. Come Honored, we will walk to the observatory, and you can tell me about your needs on the way.”

************************************************************************

“Okay, so she told her parents she was dating a pony, and they are coming to see him, and you want me to do what again?”

I looked up at the sky as a few clouds rolled by being chased by some pegasus. “I was wondering if there was any way that you could turn me into a pony for just a day. Or half a day. Just long enough so that Fast Skies’s parents would believe that shes dating a pony.”

“You know you will have to tell them that you're Equestria’s only human-“

“Yes I know we’ll cross that bridge when the time comes. So can you?” I looked at hear with pleading eyes, begging for her to perform this magical task.

“Honored we…I. I raise the moon every day. The thing you ask of me is something even a foal alicorn could perform. Of course I shall help you!” Luna stood on her hind legs and shouted into the air. I covered my ears to avoid going deaf and smiled at her.

“Thanks Luna you have no idea how happy you made Sky.” She nodded, “Wait you don’t even care for yourself?”

“No Princess, I'm doing this so that she will be happy and her parents will be happy too.”

Princess Luna smiled and said, “You are doing this for the right reason Honored. This spell will wear off at sunset tomorrow. So that gives you a little over 24 hours to be the best pony you can possibly be. Now stand over there, and remove any clothing that you don’t want ripped apart.” The Princess pointed to a spot next to a large telescope. I walked over and removed my shirt, belt, holster, pants, and my boots. I folded them and sat them over to the side near me. I stared at my clothes and pistol.

“Don’t worry; I’ll have them brought back to your locker.”

“Thanks Princess, let’s do this!”

“Oaky now try not to move.” Luna’s horn began to glow a bright blue as she pointed it at me.

“Wait what?”

BBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTT

“Mmmmmooooooo!”

“Um hang on, let me try again, it’s been awhile since I did this.”

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTT

“Meow! HHHHIIIISSSSS!”

“No need to be so rude! It was an honest mistake!”

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTT

“I swear to all that is holy that if you mess…up…” I looked to where Luna was standing and saw that she was taller than before, not by much, but definitely taller. I got up and tried walking over to my stuff but immediately tripped and fell forward.

“Ow shit!” I sat up and stared at my hooves. Yup hooves. Good to see that Luna got it right, although the cat was pretty neat, everything looked so comfy and purfect for sleeping on.

Luna stepped next to me and brought a mirror to rest in front of a confused looking pony. A gray stallion with a red and orange streaked mane stared back at me. Holly shit, I’m a pony. My bright green eyes stared back at me as I moved a hoof along my muzzle. Sure enough I was a pony an earth pony at that. I slowly sat back up and raised myself to a standing position.

“Well you don’t look that bad.” Celestia said as she walked up behind her younger sister. “I think you could have made him taller and a bit more…whats the word… muscular? Fast Skies is only going to have him like this one day right; should have gone all out.”

I was blushing a bit as I tried to walk once more. On shaky legs I moved forward. One hoof, then another, followed by the opposite one. Okay I got this, just but one hoof in front of the other and move onward. I caught the hang of walking, but running would just not happen. At least not for another few hours.

“Let’s walk Honored Service back to the barracks, something tells me the guards won’t just let a pony claiming to be a human into the barracks.” Luna and Celestia moved to either side of me and escorted me all the way to the barracks and cleared me with the guards. I shouldn’t have trouble getting around now.

I opened the barrack door and walked over to the bed that I had used as a human. I felt the eyes of my company on me as I climbed up onto the springy mattress and sit down.

“Hey buddy, you lost or something?” Short Blade called over to me. I moved a hoof over my lips and made a, “ssshhh”, noise. He just cocked and eyebrow but didn’t say anything. I was waiting on one pony, a pegasus to be exact to see me.

“Hey who are you and what are you doing in Honored’s bed?” Fast Skies demanded hovering right over my face. She had an angry look plastered on her face. I waved a hoof motioning for her to come closer. She cautiously moved down a little ways so she was within reach.

I then reached up and stroked a hoof down her spine. She spasmed and jerked in midair and crashed landed on the foot of the bed. “Hey Sky, glad to see your doing good!” I smiled and winked at her.

“Honored? Is that you?” She asked staring in disbelief at me. Everypony else in the company stared as well at the gray earth pony that was resting on the bed.

“Honored? Do I look like some incredibly handsome human?” I raised a hoof to my chest and shined it against the fur. “I do believe I am Honored Service in pony form!” I jumped from the bed and landed on all fours and trotted around the room displaying my new form for all my friends to see.

“Wow”

“Fits you well.”

“I really like your mane!”

“You're… you're… you're perfect!” Fast Skies tackled me onto the ground and held me I a hug. She buried her head into my chest and inhaled. Alright…kinda weirding me out here Sky.

“You mean I wasn’t perfect before?” I could never say no to a chance to get Sky all flustered.

“What? No I mean you were nice as a human, but you're pony form is so normal.” She stuttered out her answer while some pink made its way across her muzzle.

“Relax Sky, I'm just messing with you. I know what you mean. It’s alright, I now you like me just as much.”

“You did this just for me? So that my parents would believe me?” She had some tears beginning to roll down her face. She was so happy she was crying, I'm such a good boyfriend…I guess coltfriend now.

“Sure did Sky. Now who wants to teach me about being a pony so I can fool Sky’s parents tomorrow for our date?”

For the rest of the day, and most of the night Saddle Company stayed up helping me learn about pony culture and simple pony ways so that I would pass for a pony long enough to get through the day with Fast Skies’s parents. The hardest thing was using utensils. I really missed my fingers. I got the hang of it by balancing the fork or spoon or knife in a small notch that was on my hoof. How well placed, I wonder if it was done like that for that purpose.

Once the moon reached the middle of the sky, we decided I was as good as I was going to get. We all backed it in and went to bed. Sky gave me a kiss on the lips and another thank you for everything I was doing for her.

I went to sleep dreaming about having a great life with a family here in Equestria.

**********************************************************************

“Come; do not slow down my minions! We are only a day away! By Monday we will reach Canterlot, and this time we shall have total victory!”

The massive dark cloud moved through the night sky blotting out the stars as they travelled. Thousands of wings beating filled the air with a hum that could be heard for miles around, but the warning would come far too late to the ponies of Canterlot and Equestria as they were waking up on that fateful Monday morning.

“Onward to Victory,” Yelled Queen Chrysalis as she flew in front of her swarm of changelings, “It will be a day that ponykind will never forget!”

“And don’t you forget what you have to do Queen.”

“Of course not Nightmare.”

“He must die, or things could become…complicated.”

“It shall happen swiftly and painfully.”

“Good. Good.”

The Perfect Date

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 31
By Honored Service

“But what if they don’t like me?” I asked Fast Skies as we trotted together through the streets of Canterlot. “Or what if they catch me in a lie and then find out I'm a human? What is I mess everythin-mhmmhmmh!” I was muffled by Sky stuffing a hoof into my mouth and stopping in front of me.

“Listen Honored, you're going to do fine, just calm down and relax. Remember everything we went over okay?” She cocked her head to the side and removed her hoof from my mouth. “There see much better.” She leaned in and gave me a kiss to help pick me up. And it did.

“Alright my name is Honored Service. I'm from a small town found on the coast of the Trotlantic Ocean and I grew up in a small family and moved to Canterlot when I decided I wanted to be a Royal Guard.” I looked at Sky to make sure my story was matching up to the one we had rehearsed last night. “And we meet each other during training and started dating once you worked up the courage to ask me out because I was so awesome that I didn’t notice you from afar.” I received a swift punch to the shoulder. “Okay alright, sheesh, you asked me out because I was too dense to notice the signs you were throwing at me.”

“Perfect, Just stick to that and improvise if you have too, but keep it believable. I know how you like to stretch the truth every now and again.” She bumped my hips with hers as we walked up to the door to the restaurant we were supposed to meet Fast Skies’s parents at. I slid a bag off my back and into some bushes near the exit of the restaurant. Inside it were some pants, armored chest piece, belt, holster, and good ol’ duster. Incase Luna’s spell went haywire, I wanted something to change into so I wasn’t running around naked.

“Oh Fast over here!” Called a high pitched voice. We both turned and saw what I guess was Fast Skie’s Parents. They were both pegasus and flapped their wings at us. Her mother was a light blue color with the same colored mane as Sky. Her mane was done up in wild hair do that was a hair don’t, but she was smiling at us the entire time we walked closer. Her father was a large stallion and had a light red coat (just like his daughter) and a tan brown mane. He stood up and hugged his daughter close. He gave me the ‘look’ that only a father could give when staring down a boy (colt) dating his precious little girl (filly). Sky took her seat next to her mother and her father stuck out his hoof.

“I’m Fast Streak. You must be Honored Service. My daughter has told us a lot about you. I would have imagined you being taller.” I placed my hoof against his and moved up and down along with his; just as the company had showed me yesterday. You hoof-bump when with friends, and shake with both hooves in an informal family manner.

“Good to meet you sir. And she tells me all the time she wishes I was taller.” I looked over at Sky and winked at her. This caused her to blush and her mother to giggle at her daughter’s embarrassment.

“Aren’t they just the sweetest thing Streak?” She laughed again and raised a glass to her mouth. It was filled with a dark pink liquid…resembling the punch like alcohol I had had at the Pinkie party. “And where are my manners, I'm Bright Skies, and it’s a pleasure to me you Honored. Our daughter’s letters are always filled with stories about you.”

I took her hoof and gave it a gentle shake. I then sat myself next to Fast Sky and across from her father, who still hadn’t taken his eyes off of me. I gulped and gave a weak smile.

“Haha yeah that’s me. Sky and I had some adventures in training camp.” Her father was still just giving me this deadpan stare.

“Oh leave the poor colt alone Streak. He seems harmless to me.” Bright Sky waved a hoof at her husband and took another sip of her drink as a waiter came by and dropped off four salads. All covered in grass and oats. Something I haven’t eaten before. Technically I should be able to eat that now, but still with my mind that of a human, grass just didn’t seem that appetizing. The three other ponies at the table started on their salads immediately while I just stared at mine.

I picked up a fork a speared some grass and a cucumber with it. I brought the green food to my mouth and paused, trying not to think about eating grass as a meal. Mr. Streak was watching me, so I quickly shoveled the food into my mouth. UGHUGHUGHUGH a thousand times UGH!

I don’t know if it was because I had never eaten grass before or it was my human mind, but this was the single worst thing I have ever had. And during freshmen year at the college I had had mayonnaise and hot sauce for 3 meals straight. And that was better than this.

“Oh this place always has the best salad, don’t you think so Honored?” Fast Skies gave me a quick nudge under the table with her leg.

“Yes!” I said a little too loudly. “I mean yes I find this salad to be…the best I’ve ever had” I swallowed the bite of food and felt the dry blades of grass get stuck all the way down my throat. God I hate pony food. And I still have an entire salad to go.

**********************************************************************

“There it is my minions! Canterlot.” Queen Chrysalis pointed a holed hoof at the city off in the distance. The changeling army was resting in a large clearing in the Everfree forest. “Now rest my army, we will need all of our strength for tomorrow’s fight. Rest for the day and tonight, for at sunrise tomorrow we launch our attack.”

“Good Queen. Everything is going to plan. We shall take the city my storm, and neither the human nor the Princesses have idea we are arriving so soon. It will be a slaughter.”

The possessed creature threw its head back and cackled at the sky with a piercing evil laugh.

*****************************************************************

“And she falls off the cloud bed and right into the bowl of pudding I had left for her!” We all burst out laughing, except for Fast Skies who blushed and looked down at her empty salad bowl. I still had a nearly full bowl of food, but forget it, I couldn’t stomach that stuff.

“So Honored how did you come across that cutie mark?” Sky’s father took a sip of his drink and raised an eyebrow at me.

“My cutie mark?” I looked back at my flank and there it was. A large white star with a yellow and black outline. The United States Army symbol. Except this one had rounder edges and looked brighter. FUCK! I knew I forgot to check something! How the hell did I forget to look and see if I had a cutie mark? And how did Sky or the rest of Saddle Company forget to mention it.

“Um excuse me for just a moment; I have to locate the restroom.” I got up from the table and quickly made my way towards the bathroom. I paced back and forth trying to come up with a story that would fit the mark. I can’t use anything relating to an army, since that didn’t happen Equestria. And I couldn’t say something about stars since I knew next to nothing about stars or astronomy.

God I knew something was going to go wrong. How could this get any worse?

“Hey, you thought of anything yet?” Fast Skies trotted around the corner and stopped in front of me. She had a worried look on her face.

“No! How could we have forgotten about that! The single most important thing in a pony’s life and we just skipped over it.” I paced back in forth in front of my marefriend.

“Wait that’s it! Okay I got it!” I grabbed Sky by the shoulders and planted a kiss on her lips and trotted back to the table with my head held high. I sat down and smiled, “ah much better; now where were we?”

“You were going to tell us how you got your cutie mark?” Bright Skies asked me as she wipped her mouth with a napkin.

“Well it started out just like any normal day for a colt like me. Having fun with friends and being a pain in the flank to my parents.” Bright Skies laughed and Fast Streak just kept staring at me. Damn there was just no way to get on this guy’s good side. Fast Skies rejoined us at the table and seated herself as I flashed her a smile.

“Some friends and I were exploring the mountains nearby when, while climbing, a rockslide occurred. One of my younger friends wasn’t quick enough to get out of the way so I dove and pushed him out of the way.” I smiled and crossed my forelegs across my chest as the waiter arrived with our main course. I swear if it’s some type of grass I'm going to vomit.

Show me hamburgers- nope just some hay sprinkled with seasonings and garnished with different fruits and vegetables. FUCK MY DAMN LUCK. I sucked it up and ate the fruit and other stupid healthy things first. They weren’t bad at all; they were actually very good. But the hay was unimaginably horrible. Like the driest and saltiest thing I have ever eaten.

“And you weren’t hurt during this?” Sky’s father stared at me, unimpressed by my story of fake heroism that never happened.

“I mean I got banged up by a few rocks, but that was it. And that’s when I realized it was duty to be a shining star, a hero to ponies.” I stood up and proudly stuck my flank into the air that got a laugh out of Fast Skies and Bright Skies.

“Oh Fast, you picked a funny one! So unlike your father.” Sky’s mother nudged her husband who just humfphed and crossed his forelegs across his chest. “So did you give him a feather yet or are you saving it?” Sky blushed and her mother laughed and gave her daughter a hug. This caused her father stare at me even harder. He had a scowl locked on his face.

“Sir, Mr. Streak, I feel if you don’t like me. Is something wrong?” I wanted to get this out now, because I was crazy for this mare and her dick of a father wouldn’t stop me.

“Yeah, something is the matter. A rockslide occurs and somehow you escape without any major damage even though you jump straight into it to save some friend. And if you grew up in some town near the ocean, please explain to me a geography teacher, how mountains where present.” He smirked at me. I slowly leaned over to Fast Skies and whispered in her ear.

“Why didn’t you tell me he was a geography teacher?”

She hissed back, “I didn’t think it would matter.”

“Sir it was a rocky coastal town that had mountains not far from it.” I gulped hoping that he would believe me.

“And just what was the name of this town?” He squinted his eyes and smiled. Oh he thought he had me beat? Oh well think again dick.

“Horsetown.” Come on, it had a pony/horse term in it, there had to be a town called that.

“Horsetown? I thought your accent sounded different. Sorry for being so hard on you Honored. But I can never be too careful for my little filly.” He smiled for the first time that day, even if it wasn’t at me, but it was still a step forward. Hopefully the rest of the meal would go smoothly.

“Here is your tables grass cakes with hay dressing and dandelion crème side.” The dark blue waiter said as he levitated plates over to our table.

Fuck grass and all pony food. I want a hamburger.

***********************************************************************

“Well it was nice meeting you Honored.” Bright Skies gave me a hug and looked at her daughter and her chosen mate standing next to each other. “I swear you are the cutest little things.”

I turned to the side and rubbed my hoof against the ground. Fast Skies blushed and groaned, “Alright mom, you haven’t said that like a thousand times today.”

“Now you to stay safe, and we’ll see you soon. Honored a word with you?” Fast Streak motioned for me to step aside with him. I followed him a short distance away till we were out of earshot of the mares.

“Now listen here Honored, if that’s even your real name. If you hurt my little filly, I will make damn sure that you will know a new meaning in pain. I don’t know where you came from because Horsetown doesn’t exist. I can only assume that my daughter and you have been lying to us the entire night; and I just want to know why.” He moved in front of me to block the path leading to the mares.

“Sir if you wait,” I looked up at the sky and saw that this lunch had dragged on to nearly dinner, “just a few moments I can answer your question. But you may not like it.”

“I could care less if you're a bucking changeling, I want to know what…the…tartarus-“

I felt the transformation begin so I moved over to the bush and pulled out the bag. I felt my body begin to length. I felt my hooves split open and hooves turned into hands and feet. My normal shaggy brown and red orange hair replaced the mane that I had had; my tail disappeared into a muscular back as I slowly stood up and pulled on my pants. I looked down at the jaw dropped Fast Streak.

“Yeah, I tend to have that effect on ponies.” I slipped my arms through my armored chest piece and attached the holster to my shoulder sling and draped the duster around my shoulders. I cracked my knuckles and felt right. Being a pony was awesome and all, but being a super kick ass, bad, mean mother fuck-

I turned around and threw up bits of grass and vegetables into the bushes behind me. Damn it, what perfect timing.

I came back around to see Fast Streak galloping off towards the two mares. Fuck.

I ran after him trying to catch him and explain to him what I was. But it was too late, four legs beat two any day in a sprinting contest.

“Honey, Fast, Honored was killed by some monster and it replaced him!” he turned and pointed at me as I ran up to the three startled ponies. I looked with pleading eyes to Sky to help me out here.

All she did was fall over onto her side and start laughing.

I just looked at her parents who were both frozen in fear and confusion.

“Look Mr. Fast Streak, Mrs. Bright Skies, I am Honored Service. This is my true form. I am a human and so I had Princess Luna transform me into a pony so that you could meet me and be happy for Fast Skies. This was all my idea.” I bowed my head and waited for the scolding and yelling to begin; knowing that once her parents got over the initial reaction of me being who I am I’ll never see Sky again.

“Fast, is he telling the truth?” Bright Skies turned to her daughter and asked her with a trembling voice.

“Yes mom. It’s true. Everything. I like- no I love him. I gave him my feather and I want to be with him forever.” She didn’t falter once and just stared her mother down.

Then her mother reached over and pulled her daughter into a tight hug. “Sweetie you two didn’t have to lie. As long as your happy and have found that special some..pony then I'm happy for you.” Her mother released her with tears in her eyes. “I'm so proud of you Fast.”

“How can you support this Bright?” Sky’s father stepped in between sky and her mother. “He isn’t even a pony. I’ve heard about this human. He’s violent and dangerous and kills creature.” He stared me down again, but this time, I’ve had enough of being a little bitch to this bully.

“Listen here sir.” I stood right in front of him so he was looking up at me. “Yes I'm violent and I have killed creatures, but you want to know why? Once was saving a group of school foals. The other time was self-defense and the most recent time was saving your daughter’s life. I don’t take life, I protect it!”

I spun around on my heel and marched off in the direction of the castle. I have taken all I could take today from the pony. I needed to cool of alone. I walked along the emptying streets back to the castle just thinking about the night had gone wrong. If only the damn spell had lasted for another five minutes. If only her father hadn’t been such a dick. If only I hadn’t fallen for a damn pony.

“You oaky Honored?” Fast Skies flew down and landed next to me. We kept walking in silence for a few minutes as we turned onto the road leading to the side entrance of the castle.

“Yeah, I'm fine. I'm sorry about exploding on your father like that. But he just wasn’t giving me a chance.” I hung my head and kept walking feeling like I failed Sky. This was the only chance for a first impression and I blew it.

“Don’t worry about it. My father can be a feather brain sometimes, and besides my mom is chewing him out right now for being such a jackass at dinner and afterwards when you came clean. Thanks for saying it was your idea all along, that was sweet. It’s a shame that spell hadn’t lasted longer.” She looked up at me with a sly smile.

“And whys that?” I asked as I opened the door leading into the castle. The guard nodded as I walked by. He didn’t need to check my ID as I was the only 6 foot human walking around the castle.

“Because… well…” Sky hovered up to my ear and whispered something that caused me to blush furiously and trip up and nearly fall on my face.

I coughed and pulled on my armor’s collar as I recovered from that statement. “Let’s get some sleep Sky, tomorrows a new day, and I got a good feeling about next week.”

***********************************************************************

“Fly my army! Go! Hit Canterlot just as the sun rises, tomorrow will be the end of the pony tyranny!”

Thousands of instectoid ponies took off into the night traveling towards the city in the distance.

Author here: You all know whats about to happen, don't you? Im going to combine the next three chapters into one to avoid shitty cliffhangers because i for one hate it when things just seem to end. So be prepared for a few days of a wait as the epic climax occurs.

Peace-
Honored Service

The Massive Fight

The Massive Fight

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 32
By Honored Service

“Sweet Celestia.”

“This can’t be happening.”

“Honored what do we do?”

“Honored!”

“Honored Service snap out of it!”

I stared at the next wave of changelings charging at our position on the top watch tower. They poured up the stairs and were coming in fast and low from the sky. The burning city of Canterlot light up the early morning. Ponies crowded behind us as they waited for the next evacuation chariot to arrive. I slammed another clip into my rifle and shouldered the powerful beast.

“We stand and go down swinging Saddle.”

***************************** 3 Hours Earlier *********************************

The door to our barracks was thrown open by a gruff looking Lieutenant whose armor was gold but not shiny. His spiky red mane was messy and he was missing his helmet. His dark brown coat was matted like he had just woken up. “GET UP SADDLE COMPNAY! ON YOUR HOOVES!” He spun around and began galloping out the door but stopped just outside of the door. “Honored Service, report to the Princesses immediately after you have suited up in full combat gear. Code yellow and blue.” He took off to the next room to wake up the other companies.

“Shit!” I scrambled out of bed with my fellow guards and began throwing on our gear. My usual gear was donned but I also but on my tactical vest over the armored chest piece. I loaded all the magazines I had left for rifle in the chest rig pockets. I slipped my Berretta into my shoulder holster along with the all the clips for it. Bad Bertha found its place strapped onto my left thigh and I put on the dark brown duster. My name tag and military patch were still attached along with my Cutie Mark Crusader patch. I picked up my rifle and pulled the magazine out. Only 17 round left in this magazine. From the Manticore, Timber Wolves, and that damn target at the archery range, I was down to 207 bullets for the rifle, and only 3 and half mags left for the pistol. About 59 9mm if I remember correctly.

“I’ll meet all of you down on the line after I see the Princess.” I waved good bye to the company and ran to the throne room. Ponies cladded in armor raced past me in different directions running to and from. Some were carrying swords and spears while others carried quivers full of arrows.

What was going on? It was like we were going to war or something.

“Honored! Over here!” Shining Armor called out from a table near the thrones. Both Princesses were near him looking down at the table.

I saluted as I approached the table. Captain Armor returned the salute. “Honored I'm sorry to have to do this, but we are going to have to cut your training short on the Equestrian Honor Guard. We need you now.”

“Sure I can finish it later, but what’s going on?” I placed my rifle on the table next to a map that showed the outline and blue prints of Canterlot.

“No I mean I'm giving you a promotion now. There isn’t time for more training, it’s now or never. Do you accept?” The normal kind and honest Shining Armor was gone and replaced with a serious and stoic one.

“Of course I do.” What else do you say to that? No? No thank you? Something was up and I wanted to know.

“Then I hereby promote you to the Equestrian Honor Guard. Congratulations.” He reached under the table and pulled out a helmet. It was shaped for my head. It resembled the gold ones the guards wore except it had a green feather plum along the top of it instead of red or blue. I reached out and picked up the shiny helmet and slid it onto my head. I imagined it to be heavier and more uncomfortable, but it felt snuggly and it felt weightless.

“Now you truly look like a guard.” Celestia smiled, but the smile looked forced. Luna carried a neutral look on her face as she consulted the map.

“Alright what’s going on, why does Canterlot look like it is preparing for war?” I laughed at my joke but nopony else did. “Princesses?”

“We are going to war.”

“Come again? It sounded like you said we are going to war.” I stared at the princesses, but they didn’t break down and laugh and pat me on the back congratulating me for catching onto the joke.

“Early this morning, one of our look outs spotted a large group of flying creatures heading straight towards Canterlot.” Celestia said grimly.

“We confirmed that the groups of creatures were changelings. And they were being led by Queen Chrysalis, except she had a dark power around her. One that is all too familiar to me.” Luna hung her head and sighed.

“You mean…the Nightmare is coming?” I tensed up a bit. I was supposed to have another 10 months to get ready to fight this monster. I was unprepared, under trained, and was scarred shit less to fight the Nightmare.

“Honored, I need you to keep calm and keep cool. I need you during this.” Captain Armor put a hoof on my shoulder. He smiled up at me.

I swallowed my fear and puffed up my chest. “What do I need to do?”

“Get down to the line with your company. Saddle Company is going to be in charge of the west tower evacuation sight. Helping keep ponies calm and protecting them if need be. Short Blade is in command, and you will assume second in command for the time being, but I don’t think there should be a problem with orders. Your squad works well, that’s why you get an evac site. Now get over there, the first group of ponies will arrive in 15 minutes.” Shining Armor saluted me. I returned it and ran off towards the line to get Saddle Company and head to our area.

I raced out of the castle just in time to look up and see the sun cresting the horizon. Then a large black spot moved in front of the sun and grew closer. Changelings. Thousands of them. And they were heading straight here.

I stepped on it and made a beeline to the line of companies along the wall that wrapped the entire way around Canterlot. I spotted the large S flag and ran to it. My company was there and was looking at me as I stopped in front of them.

“Let’s move Saddle. We got control of an Evacuation site on the west tower. Short Blade, you're in charge for now.”

“I... alright, everypony lets move out and get there!” He took the lead and I fallowed behind while the two pegasus took to the sky to our left and right. Hammer Strike and Battle Plan brought up the rear.

“Honored is everything okay?” Fast Skies dipped down and flew next to me.

“No, that shape in the distance,” I pointed at the black spot in front of the sun that was getting closer every second, “is an army of Chagelings, and they’re coming straight for Canterlot. We’re going to be evacuating ponies out of here.”

“Well lets save some ponies, it’s about time the Royal Guard did something!” Quick Flurry said as he tucked his sword off his belt and slashed it through the air.

I was about to respond when I heard a loud whistling coming from above. I looked up to see green balls of fire screaming down from the sky and heading straight for us.

“FIND SOME COVER!” I yelled over the increasing volume of the whistling. I dove under an awning as the rest of the company dove into the store to avoid the incoming hostiles. I watched as the changelings struck the ground with such impact that they created holes where they hit. They had some velocity behind them. Shit, and that shell must be pretty strong to survive a hit like that.

I aimed down the 3.4x scope on my rifle at the nearest changeling and squeezed the trigger.

BANG
Tink

I watched as the side of the changeling exploded sending chunks of black chitin and green goo everywhere. It staggered for just a moment before collapsing in the same hole it had crashed into.

Never mind, I guess that shell couldn’t stop my Wonder Rounds®. More sickening thuds of the invaders hitting the ground surrounded me as I moved to the door of the store to check on my friends. I immediately brought the rifle up when I saw that Hammer Strike was engaged in hoof to hoof combat with a changeling. I watched as Hammer got a few good right hooks on the damn bug, but the bug had one thing on Hammer; wings. He would take off into the air and swop down and try to gore Hammer with its horn. I let the rifle fall to my side and gripped the handle of Bad Bertha and let the knife slide out of the sheath.

“Hammer catch!” I threw the knife across the room to the blue earth pony.

He looked over and caught the knife in his mouth and turned his head just as the changeling swooped down low to him. The changeling never finished his attack as its head feel to the floor beside its body. Hammer trotted over to me and dropped the knife into my outstreatched hand.

“Thanks for the assist.” He said as I placed BB back into my sheath.

“Where’s the rest of the company?”

“They headed out the back and I got attacked by this guy here.” He pointed a hoof at the twitching body of the changeling.

“Come on, let’s catch up to them.” We both dashed out the back door and towards the west tower in the distance.

As we came out of the back door we slowed down as I noticed 10 hovering changelings above us. “Hammer,” I whispered out of the corner of my mouth, “get behind me and don’t get in front of me.” I slowly reached down and slipped my finger around the trigger of my rifle. Hammer slowly shifted behind me. I shifted my weight to my left foot. Then the first changeling attacked.

It dropped low to the ground and flew straight at me. I smirked and leveled the rifle at the incoming insect.

BANG
Tink

I dove to the right and shoulder rolled as the dead bug crashed into the wall behind me. As I came up, I brought the rifle up to my shoulder and began aiming at the remaining changelings that seemed frozen by the act of violence they had just witnessed.

My rifle barked at the enemy as changeling after changeling dropped to the ground, large pools of green gooey blood seeped onto the grass and cobblestone street.

“Get some!” I screamed as I fired point blank into another changeling as he attempted to spear me at the end of his shiny black horn. Gore splattered across my chest and duster. The body twitched once in front of me. I reared my leg up, and brought the heel of my boot down hard on its head.

SQUESSH

It sounded just like a cockroach. I looked back to Hammer Strike who was standing there with his jaw in the ground. “Let’s move Hammer, we don’t want the others to have all the fun.”

As we moved up the west tower I followed a trail of bodies. Most of them were changelings. But a few were ponies. Some were guards and others were normal ponies. I was furious. Dead ponies in my Equestria? This would not stand for. Chrysalis better watch out, there’s a pissed off human after her.

I jumped around the corner leading to the top and brought my rifle up. I came face to face with Fast Skies who had a sword pointed right at my throat. I lowered the rifle quickly as she tucked the sword away onto her belt. Her shiny gold armor was now dented and smeared with green goo. In fact, everypony was looking pretty roughed up. There must have been more resistance up here than originally thought. At the top of the tower I had complete view of the city. And it didn’t look too good. A lot of the buildings were caught on fire, with some sickly green and yellow fire.

Behind Battle Plan and Short Blade was a group of scared ponies. They were all huddled together and some of them were crying. Except for one little filly. And she was staring right at me. I slowly walked over to the group of ponies to try and comfort them, but they mainly just cowered more as I got closer.

Then that one little pink filly said, “It’s okay mommy, thats the human. Trick Shot said that he’s gonna protect us; like a super hero.” She smiled at me. Now I remembered why I did what I do, to save and protect the innocence that these ponies have that I’ll never have.

I kneeled down in front of the filly and in the calmest voice possibly said, “That’s right sweetie, I'm not going to let those bugs hurt you or anypony, okay?”

“Honored you better come look at this.” Quick Flurry called out as he landed next to me and took off his dented helmet.

******************************Present********************************

“Sweet Celestia.”

“This can’t be happening.”

“Honored what do we do?”

“Honored!”

“Honored Service snap out of it!”

I stared at the next wave of changelings charging at our position on the top watch tower. They poured up the stairs and were coming in fast and low from the sky. The burning city of Canterlot light up the early morning. The ponies crowded behind us as they waited for the next evacuation chariot to arrive. I slammed another clip into my rifle and shouldered the powerful beast.

“We stand and go down swinging Saddle.”

The next wave of changelings was approaching fast as we all stood ready to defend the ponies behind us. I saw a glint of gold off in the distance. The chariot was coming, we just had to hold out for a few minutes, and then we could get these ponies out of here.

I turned to the group of evacuees, “Listen up, the chariot will be here in a few moments, just sit tight, and don’t panic.”

“Honored and Sky, guard the front. Quick and Battle guard the side. I’ll watch the rear and other side. Hammer gets the door. Nopony comes up unless they are cleared.” Short Blade barked his orders out like a true leader. Here we go, round 2.

I leveled out my rifle and selected semi auto fire and began to pick off changelings from long range as the approached the tower.

BANG BANG BANG BANG click
tink tink tink tink

I hit the magazine release button and dropped the empty mag to the ground. I slammed a new one into the rifle and hit the bolt release switch.

Click

Lock and loaded.

The changelings swooped in as I reloaded my weapon. One almost had me, but an arrow sprouted out of its chest and it plummeted to the ground below us. I turned and nodded to Battle Plan as he readied another arrow on his bow.

“Hold this spot!” I hollered at my friends as we held off the advancing enemy. A sneaky changeling leapt out of nowhere and knocked me flat on my back. My rifle was knocked loose from my grip and fell next to me on the sling. I rolled to the left as the horn speared the area I had just occupied. I jumped up and drew my pistol as I came around to face the changeling that was lunging at me again. I dodged to the right and hooked my arm up so that the pistol’s barrel came to rest right under its jaw.

BANG
Tink

The limp changeling fell to the ground next to me. I wiped the barrel of the pistol off as I tucked it back into my shoulder holster. I picked up my rifle and faced the ledge again just as 5 more changelings landed and began making their assault on me. I ran forward to meet them head on and fired my rifle simultaneously. 3 changelings feel before we clashed near the center of the west tower platform. I used the butt of the rifle to knock one back while bringing the barrel around and jabbing it into the other changeling that was approaching from the left.

BANG BANG BANG
tink tink tink

I let the barrel slide out of the mushy hole left in the now dead changeling and turned to get the last one, but it was nowhere to be seen. I looked all around and spotted the last changeling flying away towards the edge of the city. I raised my rifle and aimed down the acog sight.

“Damn.” I lowered the rifle. The little bugger was too far to try and waste bullets.

“Here comes the chariot. Everypony get on board once it lands. The drivers will take you to safety.” Short Blade waved the ponies away from the center of the west tower as the gold chariot touched down. The evacuees rushed on board and took their seats on the chariot. I looked at the 4 guards pulling it and yelled, “Okay you're all set, get them out of here!” The chariot slowly rose and took off into the distance. I relaxed for the first time in hours as the chariot disappeared from my sight.

I leaned against the wall of the west tower and sighed in relief. Saddle Company grouped around me and we all relaxed. I pulled out my canteen and drank some of the water that was left in it. Everpony else pulled out their canteens and drank too. The sun was directly overhead and was beating down on all of us, causing us to sweat and pant in the heat.

"Well that was a fun day!" Quick Flurry said as he put the cap back on his canteen.

"I must say that it was rather a good change of pace." Battle Plan agreed as he slung his bow across his back.

"No. No this isn't good." I said without looking up. "This is Equestria, it shouldn't be like this." I stood up straight and walked to the edge of the platform and looked out at the city. Dark black smoke billowed into the sky as the flames ate away buildings bellow us. "We need to get down there and stop this."

An armor clad Pegasus flew by and swung around and came to rest near our group. "Short Blade?" He asked looking around at the group of guard ponies.

"That's me."

He reached down and pulled a scroll out of a small pouch and hoofed it over to Blade. "An order from the Princesses. An Honored Service is to report to the throne room for further assignment. He is to reach the throne room using any means necessary. The code word to enter is Black Sun." I nodded to the Pegasus who took of back into the sky and dove down towards the center of town.

"Well company, I guess I'll see you back in the barracks for all-ins tonight." I cracked a smile and walked towards the stairway leading back down to the streets filled with pain and suffering. I stopped short and turned around and ran back to Fast Skies. I lifted her up and planted a kiss right on her lips. "I'll see you soon, I promise." I saluted Short Blade and ran to the stairs. I jumped up and landed on the railing and slid on the hand rail all the way to the bottom before jumping off and sprinting out the door.

Hammer Strike watched the human kiss the Pegasus mare, salut Blade, and slide down the stairs till the end. "Damn, he's smooth."

"I'll say." Said Quick Flurry as he watched the human sprint down the road dropping a changeling with a quick burst from his rifle.

********************The Edge of the City******************

"My Queen." The lone changeling bowed low to the ground in front of the tall figure.

"And why are you here and not out there fighting?" The dark Queen roared at the shaking minion.

"I mean no offense my Queen, but this creature that stood on two legs stopped an assault single hoofed on the west tower. We could not best him, I was the only survivor from the attacking group."

The Queen tapped a hoof to her chin. Deep in thought she planned her next course of action. She stood and moved next to the changeling and placed a hoof on its back.

"I'm sorry about your assault group. I'll handle this. But you have failed me." She locked the poor changeling's head in the crook on her foreleg and jerked the head back and to the left. The body spasmed for a moment before it stopped its convulsing. "Tomorrow we may have to make an appearance on the battlefield Queen. Deal with this, human, before he becomes a threat."

"I thought he wouldn't be a threat?"

"He won't."

***************************The Mane Street*********************

BANG BANG BANG

I let a burst fly into a changeling that leapt off a roof top in an attempt to stab me with its horn. I dropped another empty mag to the cobblestone and slammed a new mag home as I ran down the street leading to the castle gate.

I would never forget today. The images of fighting and violence was seared into my mind. The dead changelings. The dead ponies. I couldn't stop seeing them. I rounded a corner and stopped dead in my tracks at what I saw.

10 changelings were circled around a small group of ponies. I watched as they circle grew smaller around the trapped ponies.

"NO!" I screamed and dashed towards the ponies in danger. "NO!" I yelled again.

I wasn't fast enough. I headed the screams and looked away. Those screams. The screams of the innocent. I lost it. I ground my teeth and all I could see was red. I let the rifle drop to my side. I drew my pistol from my holster and slid BB from the sheath and rushed towards the changelings. They were to involved in their evil sickening task to see the charging human.

I was horrified to see what they had done to the ponies. I saw the blood. I smelled the blood. The stab wounds inflected on the ponies. The hoof prints covering the bodies. The teeth marks all over the throats. These. Fucking. Monsters.

I jumped over the dead bodies and changelings and landed in the front of the few still living ponies. Most of them were foals and mares that had been pushed to the center of the circle to try and protect them as long as possible. The changelings took a step back from me but didn't let up.

My blood was still boiling for the dead innocent ponies. I lunged at the nearest insectoid pony and plunged my knife through its skull with a sickening sucking noise. A changeling rushed at me as I turned and fired the pistol point blank into its face. The magic bullets the spilt apart shredded it's face into pieces sending green gooey blood and bits of grey brain everywhere. I yanked the knife out of the changeling's skull and ready myself for the next attack.

Two changelings leapt at me at the same time. I dropped to ground and rolled forward as they crashed into each other. I spun around on my knees and unloaded rounds into the two dazed buggers. Their bodies jerked as the rounds ripped into there shells. Green goo ran onto the street from the bodies. I kept myself in between the changelings and the ponies. I fired the pistol at another changeling and heard a screech next to my ear. I turned to see that the red hot bullet casings from my pistol had hit a changeling that was approaching silently from my side. I sliced my knife up and to the left and watched as the changeling's head fell to the side and the body collapsed to the ground. I smirked and kissed the side of my pistol, my number one assistant.

The last three changelings faced me all at once. They kicked their hooves up and charged. I fired the pistol till it was empty and holstered it. One changeling fell onto its face and stopped moving. I brought the rifle up and let a burst off into the chest of another changeling that jumped at me. I dove out of the way to avoid the last one. I leveled the rifle and squeezed the trigger at the last one.

BANG BANG BANG
tink tink tink

It collapsed in front of me, most of its right side missing from the explosive magic rounds. The remaining ponies were all still alive, but looked shell shocked. One pony pointed over my shoulder and screamed, "Look out!" I spun around and tried to bing the rifle up in time at the changeling that was speeding in my direction. It was using its wings to propel itself at me faster than I would have liked.

I could only watch in what felt like slow motion as my rifle was lifted slowly and the changeling charged faster. So this is how it would end, caught off guard and speared with a horn. Not exactly how I thought it would end.

A gray and blue blur interrupted my thoughts and knocked the changeling of course. Short Blade tackled the changeling and pinned it to the ground as Hammer Strike leapt out of nowhere and slammed a hammer against the struggling changeling's head. It stopped struggling.

The rest of Saddle Company entered the street and saw me. "Am I glad to see y'all!" I said as I recovered myself and helped Short Blade up.

Blade smiled and sheathed his sword, "You think we would let you get to the castle without some back up? Well then you humans really are dumb!" We all laughed.

"Actually I need y'all to do something else." I jerked a thumb to the group of scared ponies behind me. "Somepony needs to escort them to another evac point. And I need to get to the throne room. Divide and concur." I glanced at Short Blade, "Your call Blade."

He kicked a dead changeling and said, " Hammer and I will move with you. Sky, Battle, and Quick will move with the evacuees to extract Shetland 2-3. Let's do it Saddle."

Sky, Battle, and Quick all moved to the ponies and began to comfort them and offer them water from their canteens. I watched and noticed one of refugees narrow their eyes at Quick, and their eyes flashed blue green.

"Flurry down!" I called as I brought the rifle up. Flurry dropped to the ground as a bullet ripped trough the changeling's head. It's body flickered like a light going out and the pastel green pony became a shiny black corpse.

"Check the eyes, the change briefly if it's a disguise." I said as I let the rifle drop back to my side. I brushed some dirt and gore off the edge of my duster and fallowed behind Short Blade and Hammer Strike as we made our way to the large sealed gates of the castle.

"I'll see you soon again Sky!" I called out after the Pegasus. She blew a kiss at me and rounded a corner with the group of ponies and Quick and Battle.

Stay safe Sky. I need you.

As we approached the gate we could see piles of dead changelings lying around the gate. Most of them had arrows protruding from the bodies. An arrow impacted the ground right in front of us and we halted.

"Don't come any closer or you will be shot! What's the code?" Asked a magically amplified voice.

"Black Sun." I called out.

"Hold for magical scanning to insure that you are not a changeling in disguise." A slow spreading purple aurora moved toward us as we stood waiting to gain access to the castle. The aurora passed over Short Blade and the washed over me, but Hammer Strike collapsed when it hit him. I ran over to him and picked his head up and watched in horror as he morphed into a changeling. The gate opened and Shining Armor galloped over to us. His armor was scratched and dented in different places and a long scar ran across his muzzle. Join the club I thought.

The changeling in my arms began to stir. It cracked opened its eyes and tried to fly away; but I held tight.

"Where is Hammer Strike!" I screamed at the wriggling bug.

"I'll never talk to ponies or their allies!" The changeling hissed at me.

"Where is he!" I yanked out my knife and placed it against the base of one of its wings. The creature spit some green goo on my duster. "Wrong answer." I jerked the knife upwards and the wing fell off and onto the ground.

"Aaaahhhhhhhhhh!" The changeling hollered into the air.

"Where is he!?" I moved the knife to the other wing. "I'll ask one more time. Where. Is. Hammer. Strike." I held the knife steady against the wing base.

"Please no. He's... He's in the basement of some restaurant."

I let the knife begin to slip into the shell. The changeling jerked as I held it down.

"Four leaves! In the basement at Four Leaves!" The changeling screamed as I put the knife back into my sheath.

I let the bug go. It began to run away from us. I slowly raised the rifle to my shoulder and aimed down the sight.

"Captain Armor, tell the Princesses I'll be a little late."

What did I feel when I shot a wounded crying changeling as it ran away?

Recoil.

*************************Four Leaves**********************

"Shory Blade, you wana cover outside while I move inside?" I asked as I looked at the restaurant through my binoculars. I observed that the shattered windows would be the quickest way in. A few dead ponies littered the area showing how fast and savagely the changelings had attacked. Ponies had been enjoying a nice breakfast when the attack started.

"That sounds best." Short Blade levitated his sword out in front of him and I put my binoculars back into my pack and readied my rifle. "Okay you take left I'll move right."

We advanced down the street to the restaurant. This part of the town must have been hit first because there was nopony alive. And there were no changelings anywhere to be seen. We got to the broken window and we ducked through it. Inside the restaurant was worse. The stench of fresh blood was everywhere as we moved to the rear of the building. We came to a door. I nodded and Blade opened it and I moved trough scanning the left with my rifle. Stairs lead down and I made a fist to Blade and pointed down. He nodded and moved back to the front of the building and I moved down the stairs to the basement.

It was pitch black. I flipped a switch on the wall and the lights slowly flickered on. Along the wall and stairs was a trial of blood. It was still somewhat fresh and sticky. I pushed back the pestimestick thoughts and continued to a door. I opened it and moved into the room.

"Who's there?" A desperate voice called out to me. A deep desperate voice. Hammer Strike! He was alive.

"Hammer it's me! Honored. I'm here to get you buddy." I flicked on the lights and stopped dead in my tracks. I shuddered and almost vomited at what I saw. This nightmare just got worse.

Hammer Strike was lying in a pool of blood. He was cut and bruised everywhere on his body. One eye was closed shut because it was swollen so badly. But the worse part was his rear legs. They were broken at different angles making it impossible for him to walk. I could see bone protruding through at one spot. Oh god Hammer.

"It's okay buddy, I'm here, I'm getting you out of here." I kneeled next to him and placed my rifle down. I pulled out my canteen and held it to his lips as he drank.

"Short Blade! I need some help!" I yelled up the stairs.

I stroked Hammer's mane trying to comfort him. He whimpered and cried out of his one good eye. "Hammer how did this happen?"

He coughed and spoke softly. "You had just left. Blade decided that we should follow you and help. Quick and me turned into this building to see if we could help anypony. I came down here and a group of them little bugs jumped me. Hard. One of them took my place and... and I could hear it talking to Quick. And I couldn't do anything. They said something about me being useful for nourishment. Whatever that means." He coughed again and I told him to be quite.

"Is Hammer okay?" Short Blade asked as he stopped at the end of the stairs.

I looked back and shock my head. "He's hurt pretty bad. We need to get him out of here."

"Blade? Did you hear me? What are you starring..." I looked up at the ceiling to what Blade was looking at.

Gray green sacks covered the ceiling and corners of the basement. There were hundreds of them.

"Blade do changelings lay eggs?"

He just nodded.

"Well fuck." So that's what they meant by nourishment.

Egg sacks. We were standing in a new changeling hatchling site.

"Blade, can you levitate Hammer Strike out of here?" I couldn't carry this big earth pony out by myself, and I needed to take care of this new problem.

"I can, but not for long, maybe till we reach that hill down the road." Short Blade thought aloud.

"Just leave me. Get out before they hatch." Hammer coughed out.

"Fuck that shit!" I said down to the wounded guard. "Blade, get him out, I'll meet you on the hill."

The light magical sound was heard as Short Blade's magical aurora surrounded Hammer Strike and lifted the large earth pony up the stairs. I could hear Hammer groaning in pain. Tuff it out buddy. Tuff it out.

I saw a large tank in the corner of the basement. Several lines of piping ran out of it and into the kitchen above me. I could only pray that this was gas of some sort. I used the but of the rifle and brought it down on a valve located on the side. A rotten egg smell leaked out of the tank. Perfect. I grabbed a metal bucket and placed it on the edge of the small window near the ceiling of the basement.

I raced up the stairs and out the side door as the restaurant filled with combustible (I hope) gas. Once I was I the middle of the street I aimed at the metal bucket thought the window.

I gripped the foregrip and selected semi auto fire.

"Witty one liner about eggs and scrambling." I said and squeezed the trigger.

The restaurant erupted into a ball of flames as the bullet exploding on the metal bucket and ignited the gas. Derbies rained all around me as I walked away from the explosion. I headed towards the hill where Short Blade had propped up Hammer so he could watch the fireworks.

Hammer Strike clopped his hooves together in applause. "I think you were looking for, 'I like my eggs scrambled'." He coughed again and wiped some blood off his lip.

"Shut up you. Save your energy." I helped Short Blade get Hammer onto his back. We began the long walk back to the castle. The sun slowly was dipping under the horizon. Day one of the changeling assault was nearly over and night one of this nightmare would begin.

***************************The Castle*********************

"Black Sun." I said as we went through the magical scan again. This time we got through fine. Shining Armor greeted me.

"The Princesses weren't to happy when I told them you'd be late. But under the circumstances that occurred, they said they could let it slide. Come on, I'll get Hammer to the infirmary, you get to Princesses." The tired Captain and Short Blade moved away with the groaning Hammer to a large tent set up in the castle garden.

I climbed the stairs leading to the throne room. Injured ponies were laying everywhere. Guards and civilians alike. All stopped and watched me walk past as I moved through the wounded and scared. But this time ponies didn't cower in fear. They looked up and nodded to me. A few even mumbled their thanks to me. And one little pink filly ran up and leapt into my arms and hugged my neck.

"Thank you Mr. Human, for saving me and my mommy!" She jumped down and ran to a pale blue unicorn mare and hugged her leg. The mother nodded to me and cried into her daughter's mane.

"You're welcome." Was all I could say as I walked to the throne room doors. Two unicorns with spears guarded the door.

"Halt!" One of them pointed his spear right at my chest. "No entry to the throne room for anypony!"

The other guard looked over at the other one and said, "Silver are you stupid?! That's Honored Service, he's been out there all day. And the Princesses asked for him!" The guard swung open the door and stepped aside. As I walked through I heard him whisper to the Silver, "I heard from Rits, that he killed like a 1,000 bugs and blew up a nest. And you just-"

The door closed behind me cutting off the rest of the gossip about me. I saw both Princesses looking at the same map from this morning. They had solemn looks on their faces.

"Honored! It's so good to see that youre alright!" Celestia left the table and trotted over, Luna close behind, "Please tell us everything about today's events."

I spent an hour recalling and describing the events that unfolded. From the west tower to the rescuing of Hammer Strike. The Princesses were horrified at the brutal fighting that the changelings used and were sadden at the lost of their ponies. But they were happy that I has saved so many.

"Again Honored you empress me. You have leapt in front of danger to save ponies that would never think of helping you."

I waved her off, " I'm an Honor Guard. It's in my contract. Now I'm heading off to the artisan district to offer assistance to the guards there." I picked up my things and headed for the door.

"Honored, we called you here so you could rest. You have been fighting and running nonstop all day. You need to regain your strength." Celestia called to me as I opened the door.

I stopped and turned back to the Princesses. "I'll have time to rest once this is over."

I shut the door and marched out into the night. The horizon was aglow with green fire which casted an eerie shadow on everything. I slung my rifle across my back and faced the burning city as the wind wiped at my duster. I was dirty, sweaty, and tired; but I was a human, and I had protecting to do.

********************************6 hours later*****************************

I leapt over the destroyed fruit stand and rounded a corner as the buzzing got louder. Get in and kill the messenger they said, it will be easy they said! I turned and gave a burst from my rifle into another changeling. The changelings used messengers to transport orders to and from the Queen. Take them out and hypothetically we can stop the attack momentarily.

Killing the messenger had been easy as pie. I had jumped off a roof and landed right on its head crushing it into the street. Intimidating and bad ass yes, landing me right in the middle of the changeling assault group. Not so good.

And that is why I was running through the destroyed market and artisan district in the middle of the night. On the plus side, I was so tired I was no longer tired.

The buzzing increased as my pursuers gained on me. I slid under a leaning wall and spun around and emptied the rest of my magazine into the changelings. 5 of them ate every round and fell into pools of green gore. The last one ducked behind the destroyed building.

I dropped the empty mag and put a new one into the rifle. 5 mags left. Running a bit low. Time to conserve ammo. I let the rifle fall and hang off my side by the sling and drew my knife out.

"Oh no, I can't believe my weapon broke and I'm defenseless!" I walked out into the opening as the last changeling crept onto the roof behind me. I could hear him moving along the shingles as he prepared to pounce on me.

I twisted around and thruster my knife up into the stomach of the changeling. It gasped and gurgled, but still snapped its fangs at me, I reached down and yanked the short spike out of the handle of the knife and jabbed it in to the temple of the changeling still gored on the knife.

I yanked both weapons out of the changeling and let the body fall to the ground. I put the knife back together and sheathed it.

The last day and half had turned me into a changeling killing machine. Forget zombie apocalypse, these little buggers were no match for me. Even in large groups I was able to make a stand now. Their tactics didn't change and they didn't have weapons or magic. They could change forms, but they certainly weren't doing that very much.

If Queen Chrysalis was as powerful as her army, this would be a fucking cake walk.

I headed back to the makeshift command tent that was erected in the artisan district. A changeling poked its head out of a trash can as I walked by about to jump out and spear me.

I nonchalantly turned the rifle and hip fired one shot through its head; sending it sliding back down into the trash can. "One liner about taking out the trash." I know I didn't seem that upset about all fighting but I was. I was just masking the pain with humor. On the inside I was crying for every pony that I saw dead. For every pony that I hadn't been able to save.

The changelings had brought the fight to me. Ponies might show mercy, but news flash changelings, I'm not a pony.

I lifted the tent flap and strolled into the command tent.

"Honored, did you stop the messenger?" Asked the Lieutenant of the artisan district.

"And the entire escort." I said as I sat down in a chair and sighed. I took a swig from my canteen and drained the rest of the water. I refilled it from a pitcher that was sitting on the table. I looked at the map on the table.

Slowly but surely we were pushing the changeling army back to the edges of the city. Where ever I had fought you could see the large dent in the enemy lines.

"Honored you've done all you can do for now. Why don't you grab some rest? Celestia knows you could use it." The lieutenant said as he rolled up the map that showed my newest assault and hoofed it to a Pegasus to deliver to the Princesses at the command post in the castle.

"I'll rest once this battle is over." I stood up and moved to the tent flap.

"That wasn't a suggestion guard." The lieutenant growled at me.

Without turning around I tapped my dirty helmet, "I out rank you Lieutenant, only 4 ponies out rank me. The princesses, Shining Armor, and -"

"Me." That voice. Light and airy but with a bit of scratchiness.

"Sky!" I jumped out of the chair and ran to the entrance, throwing my arms around her and hugged her close.

"You know I don't really out rank you." She said giggling as I pulled back from her.

"But I value your word more than others." I smiled and brushed some hair out of her face.

"Well then Honored, I think getting some rest would do you some good." She turned and started walking back to the gates that lead to the mane street leading to the castle.

"Right behind you ma’am." I called out and ran to catch up to the mare.

We moved through the ruble filled streets. Nearly all the bodies had been cleared and disposed of (changelings) or properly buried (ponies). Barricades and defense positions had been created everywhere to help in the defense of the city in case of another main attack.

I don't know if I had enough ammo for another massive attack. 2 1/2 mags of 9mm ammo and 5 magazines of 5.56mm. Not an abundance of ammo left. I considered the possibility of saving the shells and refilling them with some type of propellant but that left trying to find a primer to ignite it. And I don't have a bag of primers just lying around. I was living by waste not want not.

The gate swung open and allowed us into the fortress that was the castle. They Princesses had ordered that this castle be turned into an impenetrable bunker, and they had succeeded. The changelings could fly over the wall sure, but the hundreds of archers would stop them once they touched down inside the walls.

All in all, this was as good a spot as any to get some rest. We moved together to the barracks of Saddle Company and went to bed. One large bed at the edge of the room was missing its occupant. A large blue earth pony that wouldn’t be joining us back on the field.

y'all getting pumped for the conclusion? I sure am.

The New Plan

The New Plan

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 33
By Honored Service

I jerked straight up in my bunk covered in a cold sweat and breathing heavily. Everypony else was sleeping soundly in their bunks. Those nightmares. I couldn't sleep without seeing the bodies or the faces of all those ponies I couldn't have saved. Those ponies I couldn't protect. I failed them. All of them. Every second that this battle dragged on, I was failing. I wasn't supposed to let this happen and yet here I was, stuck in the middle of a battle watching ponies die.

I got out of bed and slowly put on my clothes and armor. Holster and belts with ammo pouches and my canteen went on. I ran a hand across my face. My mind was numb from all the killing. Every time I shut my eyes I saw muzzle flashes and the looks of fear and pain etched onto every changeling's face as they fell to my onslaught.

I holstered Spike and slung my rifle. A clock somewhere in barracks rang out 5 times. I opened the door and looked back at the sleeping Saddle Company. I could only hope this would be over soon and everything would be at peace. Gently I closed the door and walked down the hall to the infirmary.

"I'm trying to find Hammer Strike." I told the nurse at the front station of the infirmary. The hospital had been filled to the breaking point so a lot of ponies had been moved all around the castle and surrounding buildings to try and accompany the amount of wounded.

"Ah yes here he is, room 2236. Down that hall and 6th door on the right, although he might not be up, it is rather early." The pale orange mare pointed down the hallway.

I gave her my thanks and walked through the white hallways to the room. Ponies limped to and from different rooms while doctors and nurses rushed stretches from chariots outside into operating rooms. The longer I stayed in this place the worse I felt. I was supposed to stop this, but I wasn't, I couldn't.

Room 2236. I quietly pushed the door open and stepped into the room while shutting the door behind me.

"I told you doc, that unless the sponge bath is down by MARE nurses I won't do it."

"I thought you like stallions." I said to the blue pony lying on the bed in the center of the room.

"Honored?" Hammer Strike slowly sat up in his bed and looked at me with one eye.

I moved to the side of the bed and put a hand on his shoulder. "Yeah it's me you big oaf." A lot of the cuts and bruises that had covered Hammer yesterday had been patched and covered. He wore an eye patch on his left eye and one of his rear legs was held up in the air by a series of cables and pulleys.

"It's good to see a familiar face. I must have asked 50 ponies yesterday if they heard any news about Saddle Company or a human. They could only say that some creature was bringing the hurt to the changelings." He adjusted in his bed and looked at me.

"And I guess those rumors are true."

"Yeah, they are." I retold my actions of the previous day starting from right after I dropped Hammer off at the castle to coming back to the barracks and going to sleep. "And then I came here to check up on you."

"I appreciate that you care so much, you must be going soft. And you were looking for, trash doesn't come till Monday."

"What?"

"Your one liner when you shot that changeling in the trash can, you should have said; trash doesn't come till Monday." He gave a light chuckle that led to a fit of coughing.

"So how are you doing?" I asked staring down to his legs and back to his eye patch.

Hammer Strike sighed and looked up at me. "The doctors say that I'll be able to walk in 3 months. And that's after a lot of physical work. And the eye, well they couldn't save it. Too much damage or something. I have a few internal problems but those should be healed in a few weeks at the most."

I patted him on the shoulder and smiled. "Well I'm glad to hear that the big strong Hammer Strike is expected to make a full recovery."

He turned his head so he could look at me with his one good eye. "Me too. Thanks Honored, for coming back and saving me."

"Of course, no man...pony gets left behind."

"No, you had to report to the Princesses and yet you disobeyed a direct order to rush back and save me. I owe you my life. I'll never forget about that you stupid human." One tear rolled off his chin and landed on the bed. I pulled him into a tight embrace.

"I know you would have done the same for me Hammer." I let go and stood up facing the wounded guard. "Get some rest and recover. I'll be back to check on you tomorrow."

"I'll hold you to that." Hammer said as he laid back down in the bed. I opened the door and began to step back out into the hallway.

"Honored?"

"Yeah Hammer?"

"Do you think we're going to win?"

I looked back at Hammer and smiled. "As long as I'm still breathing, the changelings don't stand a chance."

************************************************************

I grabbed a tray and piled fruit and cucumber sandwiches onto it. I took a seat in the temporary mess hall and began to devour the feast I had prepared for myself. I was in the process of attacking an apple when a pair of hooves wrapped themselves around my neck and squeezed me into a hug.

"Good morning Honored!" Fast Skies said as she hugged me and then flew across the table and seated herself opposite of me. "And where did you go so early this morning." She reached a wing out and snatched and orange off my tray and began to eat my precious citrus treat.

"I went to visit Hammer Strike and see how he was healing up." I said through a mouthful of apple. I swallowed it. "And he's doing better, but won't be fighting with us for a while."

"I'm just glad to know he's okay." Sky said as she swept the pile of orange rinds into a small pile and stared at me.

I was about to ask her if she was having any trouble sleeping when a loud voice interrupted my thoughts.

"Honored Service to the throne room. Honored Service report to the throne room." The magically applied voice of Shining Armor rang out through the mess hall. I got up and looked at Sky who was frowning.

"Come with me Sky, I want you to be there with me." I reached out a hand to her. She smiled and put her hoof in my hand. I pulled her up and we walked to the throne room together.

I walked up to the throne room door and was allowed in by the guards on duty. They tried to stop Fast Skies but I just glared at them and pulled her in with me.

"Good morning Honored and ah good morning to you Fast Skies." Princess Celestia said to us as we approached the table planning table. Luna was staring with intensity at a map with small flags planted around the city of Canterlot. She looked up and nodded at me as I approached.

"Well my little human, I have good news and bad news. The entire remains of the changeling army have gathered here, outside of the market district, and their numbers reach near 5,000 strong." Celestia pointed to a large flag near the outskirts of Canterlot.

"Alright, and the good news?" I crossed my arms and looked at the map.

"That was the good news." Luna looked up and moved next to her sister. "The bad news is that Queen Chrysalis has joined them and is prepared to led them in another attack on the city."

"Hmmmm" I scratched my chin stubble and pointed to a spot on the map. "What's this here?"

"That's part of the underground gave system under Canterlot." Celestia looked up at me, "What does that have to do with the Changeling attack?"

I cracked an evil smile at the Princesses and asked, "Do ponies have explosives?"

************************************************

Luna stared at me and Celestia rubbed her temples.

"Well I think it's a great idea!" Fast Skies shrugged and gave me a smile. Thanks Sky, I know you have my back.

"Honored even if we could do this, it would cause terrible amounts of damage to the city."

"And 5,000 changelings being led by a pissed of evil Queen possessed by an even eviler spirit thing won't do damage?" I know I was pressing my limit of free speech with the princesses but this was our only hope.

"You know sister, compared to your plan; I think this one has potential." Thank you Luna, I knew this plan had some backbone to it.

"The Elements of Harmony can work!" Celestia said while glaring at her sister. "They blast the changelings and Queen Chrysalis and they get rocketed out of here."

"Princesses Celestia, we aren’t dealing with one bad guy here. This is an invading army. The girls don't know how to fight in a combat situation."

"They handled themselves fine at the wedding invasion." Celestia shot back.

"But the changelings weren't killing then were they? Now it's free reign to them. I do think they should be here as a plan B, but not as plan A." I said staring at the princess. I didn't want to have to put more of my friends through this hell. Especially the mane six. I could only imagine what Fluttershy would do if she saw even one minute of fighting.

"Alright Honored. We'll go with your plan."

"Princess we need to go with my plan, the girls would be in- wait what?" I stopped mid-sentence and stared at the princess with an open mouth.

"I said yes. I'm giving your plan the go ahead. My sister and I will get everything in position and ready. Just be careful Honored, I want you here to guard the girls when they get here."

"Don't worry Celestia, everything will go perfectly and this will all be over soon." I saluted and marched out of the room to begin overseeing the preparations for Operations Downhill.

I opened the large castle doors and stepped out into the early morning sunlight. Fast Skies trotted behind me. "This is crazy you know that right?" She flew in front of me and landed.

"Yup, and I'm a crazy human."

***************************************************************

“Alright here’s the general idea for Operation Downhill. Saddle Company will move up Canterlot Mountain and place the explosive charges here, here, and here.” I pointed at the three red Xs on the map. “And I’ll move through the underground chambers and plant the explosives beneath the advancing army. Once they reach this spot, I’ll blow the charges sending most of the army underground, and at the same time the explosives on the mountain will be blown and send an avalanche of rocks and boulders into the massive hole, turning the changeling army into pancakes.”

Saddle Company stared at me as I grinned at the sheer geniuses of this plan.

Short Blade crossed his fore hooves and leaned back in his chair. “Alright I'm sold. What else do we have to lose?”

“Count me in. Explosives? Absolutely!” Quick Flurry leapt into the air and began filling saddle bags with sticks of TNT and long fuse wires.

“I’ll always have your back.” Sky nuzzled my chin and smiled.

“For something that was thrown together rather quickly, I will admit that this plane has a high possibility of succeeding if I am allowed to change a few placements of the explosives. To make them more efficient.” Battle Plan pulled over the map and added a few smaller Xs indicating where more explosives needed to be placed to increase the devastation.

“Well then Saddle; let’s go get this trap laid!”

**********************************************************

I travelled up the long twisting road leading to the top of the Canterlot Mountain. We had to place the 7 bundles of explosives to insure the maximum effect on the changelings once they had fallen into the pit.

“Alright, place another bundle here under this outcrop.” Battle Plan said as Quick Flurry soared up and wedged the TNT into a crevice running along the side of the mountain. He then attached the fuse that was running all the way down the slope.

“One more to go Saddle, and then Honored can go cave exploring.”

“Yayyyy.” I said from the back of the formation. I was running the fuse and detonation wires behind us and covering it with leaves and dirt just in case some changeling made its way up here. We didn’t want our plan being discovered.

“There it is Battle.” Sky pointed a hoof at the last spot that the explosive needed to be planted. I large ledge was sticking out from the side of the mountain. Placing the TNT there should cover the entire pit with ruble, sealing the changelings in their new grave.

Sky took off and plated the TNT securely at the base of the ledge. “Is that going to be enough explosive to bring down the top of the mountain?” Fast Skies asked as she rejoined us.

I twisted the fuse together and connected the last fuse to the demolition charge wire. “It should be, I quadrupled the amount of TNT necessary. The more the merrier, right?” I smiled and buried the last of the fuse under some dirt and leaves. “And that’s it. Now we need to get back to the castle, and I get to go explore some dark caves.”

“That’s what-“I ripped my pistol from the holster and aimed it at Quick Flurry.

“No. I’ve heard that enough today from you Quick; first with the long skinny fuse, then with the rock hard climb, and after that the whole slippery wet slope.” Quick Flurry was bitting his bottom lip trying not to laugh at the quotations from the day’s climb.

I sighed and holstered the weapon. “Fine get it over with.”

“Well I have to be set up; I can’t just do it without prompting.” He said while defensively holding his hooves in front of him.

Sky looked over at him and said in a deep sultry voice, “Come on Quick do it fast already.” She batted her eye lashes at him.

“Nope, sorry, I just can’t come on command.”

“That’s what she said!” Short Blade yelled from the front of the line as we walked down the slope to the caste gates.

“FUCK! Not you to Blade. You’re supposed to be the level headed, cool commander. Not the fucking comedienne.” I smacked myself in the face in a face-palming sort of manner.

“Sorry Honored, but you thought wrong.” Blade laughed as we trudged down the mountain side. I laughed along with him until I heard a rapid buzzing sound.

“Everypony down!” I hissed and we all dove into the underbrush and bushes along the trail. I looked up to see a trio of changelings land only about 25 feet away from us.

“I knew I saw something over here Juece.” Said the first changeling as it snooped around the surrounding area.

“Quiet Beetle, there is nothing her, just more woods and dirt, now let’s move and find that creature that has the Queen all flustered about.”

The two changelings began to take off when the third halted them. “Beetle, Juece; do you feel that?” It stared at the other two who shook their heads.

“It feels as if something is watching us.” Number 3 began to move closer to the bush I was currently hiding in. It moved slowly and cautiously towards me.

Shit go away.

Please go away?

Please kindly fuck off; so I dot have to kill again.

Pretty please kindly fuck off; so I don’t have to ram this knife through your head if you stick it into this bush.

The changeling lifted its hooves and parted an opening in the leaves so it could see into the dark foliage. I lowered my hand to my belt and very slowly drew Bad Bertha from her sheath. The changeling stuck its head into the bush and looked down.

“Wh-“ Was all it managed to get out before I lashed out and rammed the knife through the bottom of its jaw and out through its skull. I then yanked the body into the bush and held it tight as it slowly finished thrashing and laid still.

I jumped out of the bush and pounced on the back of the nearest changeling. I punched the knife into the base of its skull; severing its head from the spine. As it fell to the ground with me on top of it, I drew my pistol and fired once at the changeling that was attempting to take to the sky and retreat from the killing machine that was me.

The magic bullet spilt apart in midair and shredded the wings of the fleeing changeling and it plummeted back to the earth. It got up and coughed out dirt from its impact and began to sprint to the woods. It stopped dead in its tracks and fell sideways. An arrow protruding from its side marked its killer.

“Nice shot Battle.” I said as I got off the dead changeling and wiped my knife on a leaf.

“Thank you, I could say the same for you friend. That was an impressive shot. Nailing its wings in midflight.” Battle Plan said as he re-slung his bow across his back.

“Yeah…that was tricky…” Damn I was just trying to bring the little fucker down. But hell yeah I totally meant to do that.

“Come on Saddle, let’s get back to the castle so Honored can get ready to clear some dark holes.” Short Blade called out from the front of the formation as we started down the path again.

“Quick I swear to all that is holly.” I looked at the yellow pegasus, glaring daggers at him.

“What? I can’t do a, ‘that’s what she said’.”

I let out a sigh of relief.

“That’s a gay joke.”

“AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I screamed, throwing my hands into the air. I began contemplating that if the threw myself off the mountain would I die before I hit the ground or on impact.

The Operation Downhill

The Operation Downhill

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 34
By Honored Service

“Um I may be having second thoughts about this plan y’all.” I stood over the ladder that led down to the cave system underneath Canterlot. I shined my flashlight and the beam of light cut through the darkness. A small light in a massive system of dark tunnels, endless abysses, and God knows what else. I picked up a bundle of rope and threw it down the shaft along with a bag of extra torches incase my flashlight died. I’ve seen one to many horror movies to make that mistake.

“Well it may be too late for that Honored.” Short Blade said as he peered into the cave. “Time is running out and this stuff needs to get planted.” He pushed a satchel filled with bundles of TNT over to me. I picked up the bag and threw it over my shoulder.

“Alright, I’ll do it. In case something goes wrong…I just wanted to let y’all know that you have made the time here in Equestria the most amazing experience ever.” I turned and jumped down the ladder sliding down it till I hit the bottom. I wasn’t good with final farewells, so I’ll just have to make out of this hole so I can give a better one.

“Good luck Honored, see you on the north platform.” Short Blade hollered down at me.

“You can count on it!” I yelled back up at them. I reached down and picked of the large bundle of rope. I tied one end of it to the ladder and the other end of the long rope onto my belt. I also wasn’t going to get lost in this fucking cave. I’ve played enough minecraft to know that rule.

I slung the sack of torches and other assorted cave explore essential…some extra water, red paint, bread, and more water. Okay so maybe I was a little paranoid about getting lost down here. I just couldn’t imagine getting stuck down here and not being able to truly help on the surface.
I pulled out the old map of the cave system and began navigating the series of tunnels and caves. Pulling myself over a collapsed rock I entered a large cavern. I was about to move out into the center of the area when I heard rocks moving. I ducked behind a large boulder and waited.

“We are to patrol this area and report anything to the Queen. She believes that the ponies are up to something and she wants to know what.” I heard the changeling say to the other one. Well fuck, now I got enemy patrols in these caves that are on the prowl for something suspicious.

I crept up on the rock and steadied my rifle in my hands and aimed down the 3.4x scope, where I could see the shiny black shells of the changelings moving around in the large cavern. I lowered my finger onto the trigger and was about to fire when I felt the rope go tight and pull me back a little bit.

“What is this rope for?” I slowly turned around to see two changelings examining my rope that would allow me to get back to the ladder. Damn it, this mission was failing already, and I hadn’t even planted the TNT yet. Could this get any worse?

The two changelings slowly began to follow the rope to where I was hiding. I moved back into the shadows, and drew my knife.

“it leads up here.”

“Well go check it out.”

“I am…I don’t see why you-“

THUNK

“You okay, what happened?” The other changeling walked to the spot where I had just clobbered the other with the handle of the knife.

I slinked out of the shadows and came to my full height in front of the trembling changeling. It began to move backwards and opened its mouth like it was about to say something. I lashed out with my boot heel and slammed it into the ground. The changeling coughed and tried to bit me. I grabbed it by the throat and brought it into a choke hold where I held it cradled in my arms as it thrashed and kicked. I jerked the head to the side and felt the crunch of shell breaking and the body stopped moving.

I let the dead changeling join its comrade on the cold floor and stepped over the bodies. I reached into my satchel and pulled out the TNT, I wedged it in place at the base of a large stalagmite.

“1 down, 4 to go.” I checked my guideline rope and turned on the flash light. Let’s get moving, I wanted out of this hell in the ground now.

**********************************************************************

“We haven’t seen any sightings of this ‘ho-mun’ yet my Queen.” The changeling hugged the ground as it bowed to the Queen who stood in front of the massive army.

“NO!” She smashed a hoof on the ground causing green flames to explode out and startle any changeling nearby. “He is in that city. And I need to know where!” She turned to a changeling behind her. “Step up the street patrols with the hidden changelings. Tell them not to be discovered, but to look harder for this human.” The changeling nodded and sped of into the sky towards Canterlot.

“And the rest of you, get ready to assault. We have given the pitiful ponies plenty of time to consider surrendering. Now we crush them once and for all.”

“Muhahaha!”

***********************************************************

“Now was I supposed to turn left or right at the rock formation that looked like a solider holding two bowling balls. Shit, I think I took a wrong turn.” I slumped on the ground and looked closer at the map. Nope I was right where I was supposed to be. Except the spot the TNT had to be planted was…

“How the hell am I supposed to get it up there!” I screamed at the ceiling that was about 75 feet above me.

“Whos down there!?” A voice called out from nearby. I jumped and hid as a changeling walked out from another tunnel. It began to search the area as I thought up an insane… no brilliant plan.

I crouched and waited for the lone changeling to walk in front of my hiding spot.

“A little closer. Come on… just one more step.” I whispered as the changeling moved closer and closer.

“I hope this works just as well as it does in my head.”

I jumped out and landed on the back of the changeling. “YEEEEEHAWWW!”

“HEY! Get off of me!” The changeling screamed as it ran around the cavern. Its wings lashed out and started buzzing as it tried to get some air. After a few moments the changeling took off into the air with me on its back.

“Oh no, please don’t fly up to the ceiling, I'm terrified or heights.” I said loudly so the changeling could hear me over the loud buzzing from its wings.

The changeling must have heard me because it immediately began to climb up to the top of the cavern. I quickly placed the TNT in a crack on the ceiling and dropped the fuse line down to the ground. The changeling rammed me hard against the roof of the cavern. My back to most of the impact thankfully.

“Ouch, well fuck you too.” I drew the pistol and placed the barrel against the back of the changeling’s head.

BANG

I dropped like a rock.

Okay so maybe I hadn’t planned the dismounting very well.

I tumbled towards the ground and off of the dead changeling. The ground was rushing up to meet me, and it was coming fast.

“SHIT! AHHHHHHHHHH!” I screamed as I covered my head to try and soften the blow and hopefully not damage something to important.

“I’M GOING TO D-“I felt all the air leave my lungs as I was jerked straight up into the air. I coughed and tried to breath. I regained my breath and looked down to see I was floating 15 feet above the rocky cave floor. I looked up to see I was dangling from the rope still tied to my belt. The rope had wrapped around a rock protruding

“Whew!” That was a close one. I reached to my belt and began to untie the knot holding me in place.

“That could have been real-“ The knot came undone and I dropped straight down onto the cold, hard, unforgiving rocky floor.

THUMP

“FUCK! That still hurt like a bitch!” I rubbed my back and stood up. My spine made a series of rather loud popping noises as a stretched up.

I picked up the end of the rope and began my trek back through the cave following the rope as I went along.

“You know Honored, out of everything you have done here; this whole cave thing wasn’t that bad. I got the jump on a few changelings, I planted all the TNT, I rode a changeling like a bull, and I survived a fall. All in all, I’ll say that this exploration was a success!” I pulled up the rope and grabbed empty air.

“What the?” I held up the rope and looked down to see that the rope had been cut cleanly through and the other end of it was nowhere to be seen.

“Fuck me sideways.” I pulled out the jar of red paint I had brought with me. “A lot of good you did me!” I threw it at the wall and watched with satisfaction as it smashed and sent red paint in every direction.

“Oh yeah, it helps to actually use the paint and mark a trail. Damn.” I sighed and looked straight ahead. Dark tunnel.

Looked left. Darker Tunnel

Looked right. Darkest Tunnel.

Straight it is! I dropped the useless rope and unslung my rifle. Well onward to freedom! (Hopefully)

****************************************************************

“Short blade trotted over to the red mare that was sitting near a hole with a ladder in it. “Skies, he’s going to be okay. Why don’t you go get some food, I’ll watch out for him for you.”

Fast Skies turned to her friend and sighed. “I know he’ll be okay, but trouble always just seems to find him no matter what. And now he’s down there somewhere in a massive underground labyrinth of tunnels and caves. I can’t help but be worried for my human.” Sky hugged herself and continued to stare at the dark hole in the ground.

Short Blade let out a sigh and sat next to the saddened mare. He put a hoof around her and pulled her close. “Honored will be fine.” He turned away from Fast Skies and whispered, “He has to be.”

*******************************************************************

“Now I know I’ve passed this rock before.” I crouched down and picked up a small pebble and flicked it behind me.

“Face it Honored, you're lost down here.”

“Nope not lost, just temporally not found.”

“So lost?”

“Yeah.”

“Shit.”

I shined my flashlight now the darkest tunnel I could find. “It’s always darkest before the light.” Worth a shot.

I trudged through the dark tunnel. It felt as if the darkness was seeping into my skin as I moved through the underground cave system. I needed to get out of her soon. Operation Downhill needed me to be successful. At least I would help it be successful.

Far off down the tunnel I saw a flicker of light. I squinted my eyes and saw it again. Something shining down here, that meant, “Light!” I screamed and dashed off towards the glimmer of hope.

I pulled out another torch and lite it as I approached the shimmering object. It was a green gem and above me was a small hole in the ceiling. I looked around and saw that the wall was very rough and I could climb up it to the hole. I shimmed up the wall and looked out the small chink in the ceiling.

I saw the back of a red Pegasus and a light gray stallion. Short Blade and Fast Skies. The ladder must be right in front of me on the other side of this wall. I climbed down the wall and looked around for another passageway. Sure enough there it was, another small tunnel that ended right in front of the chamber I had started in.

I let out a sigh of relief and picked up the green fuse detonation wire that the TNT was connected to. I held it in my mouth and climbed the ladder. One hand over the other I slowly made my way up back to the surface.

I popped my head out of the ground to see Short Blade and Fast Skies leaning against each other asleep. I looked out the window and saw that is was midafternoon; they must have been sleep from the late nigh patrols yesterday. I connected the fuse wire to another long green wire and tied it off. Very gently, I nudged Sky’s flank with my foot.

She cracked open an eye and gave a yawn before seeing me and leaping into the air and tackling me to the ground. Her leaving caused Short Blade to lose his balance and collapse sideways, startling himself awake.

“Honored! Good to see that you're okay!” He got up and totted over to me. “Is everything ready?”

I was too busy hugging the adorable mare on top of me to pay him much attention. “Yeah…yes everything is ready.”

Sky planted a big kiss on my lips and got off of my chest. “I'm glad you're safe Honored.” She kissed my cheek and moved to my side.

“Me too, and now for phase 3 of Operation Downhill.”

Short Blade cocked his head at me. “Phase 3?”

“Oh yeah, I never told you about that part. Well it involves using me as bait for the changelings to be lured into the trap of exsplosives we have planted. Real simple.” I turned and began walking out of the basement of the castle to begin my insults to lure the changelings to their doom.

“So phase 3 is you risking your life, again, to save us ponies?” Sky caught up to me and landed in front of me, halting my progress.

“Yeah, pretty much.” I shrugged my shoulders and adjusted the rifle on my back.

“Sweet Celestia you're dense. But I still love you.” She smiled and flew with me as I walked to the balcony overlooking the castle gardens. Even though there was a battle going on, the gardens had remained intact and still just as calming and beautiful as before this whole mess started.

“Sky, I wanted to give you something. Just in case-“

“No don’t say it.” She placed a hoof on my side and I took it in my hand.

“Sky this is a very likely possibility, that after today I may not return. If I'm not fast enough, or brave enough or strong enough or-“

I felt Sky nudge my hand with her muzzle. I sighed and looked into those big eyes of green. “Sky I just don’t want to leave you with nothing. And before you say it, memories don’t count.” I reached up took off my helmet and put my hand under the collar of my armored chest piece. I slipped off the dog tags that were around my neck and held them in front of me. The sun glinted off the dull metal. The stamped information spun around before me.

I lowered the metal discs to Sky. She held out her hoof and I placed the tags in the outstretched red hoof. “These are something that I’ve had with me since I joined the military on my planet. I want you to have them. And you can give one of them back to me when I see you again.” I smiled and hugged Sky close to my chest as she wept openly into my shoulder.

She pulled back and stared at the two little pieces of metal. “Honored, what does that say?” She indicated to the top line on the dog tag.

“That’s my name. My human full name.” I looked out to the sun that was beginning to drop in the sky. It must be close to 3 pm. Time to get started on phase 3.

“What is it?”

“Johnson, Ta-“

“Honored if you're going to get moving it needs to be now!” Battle Plan raced around the corner of the balcony and stopped. “Oh sorry, I hope I'm not interrupting something.”

“I’ll tell you when I get back Sky.” I leaned down and kissed her lightly on the lips. “I promise.”

“You better,” She said as she gave me a smile, “And you better stay safe.”

I flashed her my trademark smile and hugged her again. “I will be. And you better be here with the rest of Saddle Company to welcome the mane 6 to the castle. Let the Princesses know I’ll be joining everypony after the operation is completed.”

I jumped off the balcony and landed on my feet and took off running towards the center of the city. Time for the final phase of Operation Downhill, and if this goes right then this should end the Battle for Canterlot, and stop the changelings once and for all. The Princesses may not like my idea that I have planned, but I can’t let any changelings survive. They escaped once and then just came back more pissed off than ever.

“Oh but Honored how are you going to kill all the changelings?” I asked myself as I vaulted over a pile of debris from a destroyed building.

“That’s easy Honored. Carefully!” I chuckled at my morbid humor and continued on my jog through the city. I ran down the center of the street not trying to hide or be stealth in anyway. The whole point of this was to be seen and get the Queen’s attention. And in doing that, hopefully get her to lead the army after me.

I stopped and entered a damaged building that overlooked the market square. I climbed a series of stairs that lead to a room with a blown out wall. I could see the entire square from this vantage point. I reached into my backpack and pulled out an antique looking plunger that was connected to the detonation wires below the square and the charges on the mountain side. This would be my first fall back point in the Battle for Canterlot. Once the plunger was in place, I moved out of the building and continued my jog to the market.

I slowed my jog to a walk as I strolled into the middle of the large market square at the edge of the city. I unslung my rifle and began sweeping and clearing the surrounding buildings. I wanted to look like I was actually doing something so that this whole thing would be believable. Okay into the next building.

I kicked in the door and leapt into the dark house to wait for the changelings to show up. Which would be soon…I hope.

****************************************************************

“Galax, did you see that?” A changeling turned to its partner and pointed a hoof at the building that they strange shaped creature had just entered.

“I did. I think that’s the, what is it called, humon. We need to report this straightaway. The Queen wanted and update on it immediately.”

The two lone changelings took off into the sky and raced to the massed army of changelings. Down below a face appeared in a window of a damaged building. A smile slowly spread across the face of the creature as he stood up and strolled out into the entrance of the market square. The tall bipedal creature shouldered his rifle and cocked the weapon. He stared off into the distance. Watching. Waiting. Ready to protect.

********************************************************************

“My Queen, we saw it!” The changeling gasped out, as it collapsed in front of Queen Chrysalis.

“Thank you my loyal solider.” She positioned herself at the head of the massive army. “We move out together, lets end this!” She took to the sky, 5,000 pairs of wings beating in anger as the changelings followed their leader towards the burning city.

*********************************************************************

I watched as the two clueless bugs flew off. Ha perfect.

I stood up and walked out of the house and across the market square. I readied my rifle and waited for the swarm to arrive. My heart was thumping in my chest and I wiped my brow with my sleeve. I was scared. Correction, I was scarred shitless. I was taking on an entire army, and the fate of the pony world rested of my shoulders.

I heard a faint buzzing in the distance. It grew progressively louder as I waited for the army swarm to get closer. I watched in horror as the army came into sight. The sun was literally blocked out as the entire remaining changeling army covered the horizon and descended straight towards me. And in the front was a large figure speeding rapidly at me. Shit.

I heard a loud hissing noise and dove to the right as a green fireball exploded right where I had been standing. A 4 foot deep crater was all the reminded of the street where it had struck. A loud piercing laugh echoed through the sky as the army of changelings dove straight at the market square.

I jumped up and sprinted away from the bugs that began to land all over the square. More and more of the changelings landed and began to follow after me. I looked over my shoulder to see at least half of their numbers occupying the square and the other half was either following me or hovering near the square.

I jumped through a shattered window of the checkpoint building and rounded a hallway. I ran up some stairs and into a large room that had the wall blown away. From this position I could see the square filled with changelings. I reached down and picked up the plunger I placed in the building and pulled the handle up.

“Well it looks like we’re going to have… wait for it…. A blast.” I slammed the plunger down and waited.

1

2

BOOM

The entire market square shook as a massive hole in the ground opened up and swallowed the landed changeling army. I heard their screams of shock and terror as they plunged into the dark void below.

BOOM

I looked up to see an avalanche of dirt and rocks speeding down the mountain heading straight for the market square. The rush of boulders and rocks would bury the changelings in the hole. This would be their grave.
I turned back to the square to see the changelings diving in and out of the hole in the ground trying to save as many of their comrades as possible. The okay changelings would fly down and begin bringing up the wounded that had survived the explosion and fall into the pit below. I shouldered the rifle. I couldn’t have survivors. Not changeling survivors. I aimed down the low powered scope to begin doing my grim work.

I targeted the large figure hovering above the crater. Queen Chrysalis was staring at the mass grave with nothing but shook and anger on her face. This changed to rage as the avalanche of dirt and ruble crashed into the market square. What changelings were left scattered at the wave of death that cascaded into the pit. Operation Downhill was a success. The changeling army was obliterated leaving only three hundred or so still able to fight and one very pissed of Queen who was staring at me. Her horn began to glow a sickening green.

Oh shit.

I leapt out of the building just a green explosion destroyed the top half of the building. I tumbled and rolled and came to a stop on my knee in a firing position leveling the rifle at a trio of changelings that surrounded me.

BANG BANG BANG

Tink tink tink

The three red hot shells hit the ground as the bodies of the changelings joined them. I turned on my heel and sprinted back towards the castle. My stomach was heavy with guilt. They may have been changelings, but I hadn’t expected my plan to kill that many of the little buggers in one go.

“THAT’S RIGHT HUMAN. RUN. RUN TO YOUR PRECIOUS CASTLE AND PONIES. FOR WHEN I ARRIVE YOU WILL DIE SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY FOR WHAT ATTRCOITES YOU HAVE COMMITED HERE!” The booming voice of Queen Chrysalis rang out through the streets and pounded into my ear drums.

Oh the atrocities that I committed? Should I bother showing her the hundreds of innocent ponies that are dead thanks to her plan for taking over Canterlot? I am merely protecting those who are unable to do it themselves.

I slowly ascended the marble steps leading to the castle doors. Along the way guards and civilian ponies alike congratulated me on my stunning plan. I could only mumble thanks. Still feeling guilty over the lives I had taken single handedly.

“Well I guess I should apologize for calling your plan stupid and ludicrous.” A motherly calm voice said next to me. I turned to see Celestia smiling at me. It wasn’t a happy smile, but a smile of understanding. “Come, I'm sure you have a lot to talk about. There is no worse thing to do than to keep this bottled up inside of you.”

I followed the Princess to the throne room and took a seat next to her in a chair she levitated over to her throne. I talked about my guilt and my confliction for what I had done. Celestia sat there and listened patiently as I told her about my feelings. How awful I felt.

“Feel any better?” She asked after I finished and just stared at the floor.

“A little I guess.”

“You know, I can understand how you feel. Being immortal my sister and I have witnessed more death than you have in your time here.” I looked up at her.

“Yes I may have not taken that many lives with my own will power and explosives, but I watched generation after generation die and move on. But I just accept that this will happen and move on. Don’t forget about it, but learn from it.” She gave me a genuine smile.

I returned it. I had learned from it. I wasn’t fighting just because. I was fighting to protect those I cared for and for those that deserved it.

I was a human. I was made for protecting.

And tomorrow I would protect these ponies from the final changeling. The last battle. The end of it all. These ponies deserved to live free, and I was going to insure that that happened.

Well my faithful readers, it has been fun and i have enjoyed writing for you, but all great things must come to end. Next chapter, chapter 35, will be the final CHAPTER of The Equestrian Honor Guard. There will be an epilogue, but that's not a chapter. So hold on tight, and be ready for a ride.

Peace-
Johnson

The Final Showdown

The Final Showdown

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 35
By Honored Service

I woke up from another fitful night of sleep. More dreams about explosions and dead changelings haunted my sleep. I tossed and turned in my little bunk but was unable to get to sleep. So I got out of bed and suited up just as I had done the previous day. I picked up my duster and put it on over my armor and chest rig. I double checked to make sure that Sky’s red feather was tucked in the top button hole. Still there. And it was still just as shiny and colorful as they day she gave it to me.

I grabbed my helmet and left the barracks heading out towards the north platform that overlooked the city of Canterlot. The moon and stars claimed the sky now and they shown brilliantly in the night. The green flames that had consumed the city had died down and the smoke had stopped billowing into the sky. It almost seemed peaceful. And I would believe that if only it weren’t for the few dark shapes that zipped back and forth across the sky in the distance. Survivors, that had made it through my onslaught at the market square.

“If you keep sneaking out like this, ponies are going to wonder where you're heading off to.” Sky said calmly as she landed on the railing next to me. She had a smile on her face, this one wasn’t forced but it was genuine.

“I just had some trouble sleeping that’s all. I’ll be better after today. I promise.” I placed a hand behind her ear and scratched lightly. She pressed her head back and I continued to scratch her. We stayed like this for what felt like hours; just enjoying each other’s presence.

“Oh here.” She held out a wing to me that had my dog tags dangling from the red feathers. “I saved them and well you're back so here.”

I reached out and picked them off her wing. I looked at the little metal disks. “No here Sky, you should keep them.” I placed the dog tags around her head and pulled them down around her neck. “They look better on you anyway.”

She blushed and turned away from me smiling at the ground. “Thanks.” She mumbled.

I put my hand on her check and turned her head to face me. I gave her a light kiss on the lips and whispered, “No thank you Sky, for being the greatest thing to happen to me here in Equestria.” This only caused her to blush more as I pulled her in close for hug and wrapped my arm around her.

“Honored?”

“Yeah Sky?”

“I'm never going to know your full human name, am I?”

“Probably not.”

“Can’t you tell me now? Nopony knows we’re out here.”

I looked around and saw the indeed we were alone. I moved away from Sky and checked inside the doorway leading back into the castle. I ran forward and leaned over the railing and searched around for anything that could interrupt our moment. Nothing.

“Okay Sky, my full human name is Ta-“

“Ah hello Honored Service and Fast Skies.” The voice of Luna came from above. I looked up with extreme annoyance as the princess of the night descended from the astronomy tower above us.

“Good evening Princess Luna.” I said through gritted teeth. Sky just chuckled and patted my back with her wing. She leapt onto the railing and laid her head on my shoulder.

“It’s alright Johnson. I prefer Honored Service anyway.” She kissed my cheek and closed her eyes.

“I'm sorry Honored, I wasn’t aware that I was interrupting something.” Luna cocked her head and looked at the two us.

“It’s alright Princess. What brings you here?”

“I was just keeping watch over the castle. You may have dealt a devastating blow to the changeling army, but there are still a few left. And the Queen is still out there, and right now she is more dangerous than seven armies of changelings.” She looked back out to the semi-destroyed city of Canterlot. “Are you going to be ready Honored, to face her?”

I sighed and looked to the city. The destruction Queen Chrysalis had caused. “No, but I have no choice. It has to be this way.” I stroked Sky’s orange mane and looked down at her. She was snoring lightly into my neck. “I’ll be ready Princess Luna.”

“I believe in you human. I know you will do what you have too.” With that Luna spread her wings and took off into the night.

I looked down at the sleeping mare. I gently slipped my arms around her and picked her up. I carried Sky back down to her bunk and placed her in it. “Good bye Sky. I mean it when I say I love you. You silly mare. I’ll see you later once this is all over.” I kissed her forehead and saw a smile spread across her face.

I walked down the main hallway and to the large gates outside of the castle. I passed a lot of guards that were patrolling the area. They all saluted me or moved quickly out of the way, I acknowledged them with a salute or a good morning as I walked by. I was about to exit the castle when I noticed a large chariot begin to descend into the courtyard. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna exited the castle together and made their way over to me as I continued to watch the chariot land.

“Ah Honored, I'm glad to see that you showed up to say hello to the girls. I know your plan went off perfectly, but I still want the Elements to be nearby if things should go downhill.” Princess Celestia said as we walked over to the door of the chariot. A guard pony opened the door and a ball of pink energy exploded out of the chariot and talked me to the ground.

“Oh my gosh, Johnson or is it Honored Service now? I know how about both. Honored Service Johnson. Or no, what about Johnson Honored Service! I'm so happy to see you! I mean we all are, but I'm the most happy since the entire ride over here I was asking the girls if they thought you would remember us and by the look on your face I’ll guess that you do remember us!”

“Pinkie… I…can’t…breath!” I managed to choke out from the bone shattering hug that the pink party pony was delivering to me.

“Opps sorry.” She immediately let me go as the other ponies came out of the chariot.

“Howdy there sugarcube!” Applejack called out waving to me.

“It’s so good to see you again darling.” Rarity said as she bowed slightly. I returned the gesture of course.

“What’s up Honored? Still looking cool I see.” Rainbow Dash said nonchalantly while leaning against the side of the chariot; brushing a hoof against her chest.

“I hope he has been making friends while at training.” Twilight Sparkle commented to Celestia who only chuckled.

“Um…hi…again…” Squeaked Fluttershy from the back of the group.

“It’s great to see you all again. I just wish it wasn’t under such extreme circumstance.” I turned to look over at the large gates leading into the castle, both of which were damaged slightly from the changeling assault.

“Well it just aint right for them changelings to do what they been doing.” Applejack said and nodded at me.

“When we heard about how the entire changeling army was stopped by one guard and Equestrian Honor Guard no less, we had to come and offer our assistance.” Rarity said as she walked around me. “And I see you didn’t take care of the outfit I made for you. All scratched and ripped up. And what is this ghastly smudge here?” she pointed a hood at the back of my duster. That spot was the spilled green blood from a changeling that had been blown apart by a well-placed shot from my rifle.

“Um…that’s some war paint.” I said through a halfhearted smile.

“Well we need to clean this up at once!” She stomped a hoof on the ground. As I watched the mane 6 talk to one another about the bad changelings or evil Queen Chrysalis, I noticed a dark shadow appear behind one of the guards in the distance. I watched as that guard turned a corner and continue on his patrol.

But for some reason he about faced and began walking right towards us, breaking the pattern all guards had been instructed to follow for just this occasion. He got closer and I watched as sure enough his blue eyes flashed shiny metallic blue for just a second.

“Princesses and Elements get behind me now.” I steeped in front of them and unsheathed my knife and grasped it in my hand. The guard continued on its path straight towards the girls and me.

“Halt Guard.” I called out. The changeling in disguise stopped but then bolted straight at me. It dropped the disguise and the girls gasped behind me.

“Honored look out!” Pinkie Pie screamed through a mouthful of popcorn. She was eating popcorn at a time like this!? Whatever fuck it.

The changeling jumped at me and hit me in the chest. I rolled backwards with it on my chest and kicked it off of me with my legs. The changeling soared through the air and crashed into a stack of boxes. I got up and sprinted towards the dazed changeling; as I ran I flipped the knife in front of me and caught it on the tip and pulled my arm back. I flung the knife forward and it sailed through the air and struck the changeling in the center of its chest just as it sat up from the crash into the boxes. I jumped forward and gripped the knife and yanked it out of the changeling and spun on my heel and sliced the knife sideways spinning in a circle. My duster swirled around behind me as I moved.

SHINK

I stopped moving and waited for the sound to confirm the lethality of my hit.

THUMP

I turned my head and saw the changeling lying dead in the middle of the boxes.

“Clear!” I yelled to the courtyard.

The Princesses and the mane 6 all were just staring at me with their jaws on the ground, except for Fluttershy who was shaking and looked to about break down.

“Honored that was…” Princess Celestia said as she came forward to me.

“AMAZING!” Rainbow Dash rocketed into the sky and flew all around me. She landed in front of me and just stared at me.

“Um thanks?” I said shrugging my shoulders. I didn’t like upsetting Fluttershy like that, but I was made to protect, and I had done just that.

“Don’t you feel that was a little extreme?” Twilight asked. “You could have skipped the whole throwing knife trick and just stopped him with the blade.”

“But then it wouldn’t have been anywhere near as cool!” Rainbow Dash shot back to Twilight. Thanks Rainbow, at least somepony understands what it means to be bad ass.

Luna stepped forward and open her mouth to speak, but just as she did a booming voice exploded all around us. The voice had to tones to it. A low pitched female voice and a monotone voice that sent chills down my spine. The Nightmare.

“YOU FOOLS! NOW THAT YOU ARE ALL GATHERED IN ONE PLACE, I WILL OBLITERATE YOU AND YOUR FILTHY HUMAN PET!” The voice seemed to shake the whole world around us.

“There!” A guard pony shouted and pointed a hoof up to the top of the Canterlot Castle. There on the tallest spire stood a lone figure. Queen Chrysalis looked down at us with hatred in her eyes. Green flames surrounded the air around her as she stared at us. I watched in horror as 4 guards ponies dashed off to attack her. She just laughed and pointed her horn at them.

“NO! BACK OFF!” I screamed and waved my arms at them, but it was too late. Green fire exploded from her horn and engulfed all 4 ponies. Sickening screams were heard from the ponies as they dropped from the sky and smashed into the ground with a disgusting thud. “NO!” I yelled and unslung my rifle. I aimed it up at the queen and pulled the trigger down.

Round after round left the barrel and sped through the air to strike down the evil queen. I watched as a bright green flash occurred and she had teleported down the spire, every shot I had fired missed completely.

“HAHAHA! You can’t win human. Nothing can save you or your ponies!” She began to teleport closer and closer to the group.

“Celestia, Luna, get the girls out of here and to the Elements. Get them ready in case I fail.” I dropped the empty magazine from the rifle and loaded another fresh mag into the weapon.

“I thought you wouldn’t fail.” Luna said desperately as they galloped off towards the castle door.

“I can be wrong sometimes!” I yelled after them.

They all ran inside, but Princess Celestia stopped just outside of the door and looked back to me. “Be safe my little human.”

“I’ll try Princess, but I’ll do whatever I have to too insure that this ends here.” I gave her a crisp salute. “It’s been fun Celestia.”

She returned the salute, “Thank you,” she said and shut the door behind her.

I turned to find myself staring into the evil reptilian slit eyes of Queen Chrysalis. She slowly curled her lips into an evil grin and said, “Now that you have said your good byes it is time to die human.” She lashed out with a lightning fast punch and caught me straight in the chest of my armor. I went tumbling backwards and skidded to a halt on my feet.

“Hmmm I thought you would be tougher than this.” She charged her horn and sent a bolt of green energy at me, which I dove out of the way to avoid. An explosion shook the earth as I got back to my feet just in time to dodge a jab from the queen’s horn.

“Stand still so I can kill you slowly.” She spat out in that weird double toned voice. “Humans stopped me once before, but this time I shall prevail.”

I spun around and whipped out my pistol and fired three shots at her. She teleported out of the way as the bullets impacted the wall behind where she had been.

“Nice try.” I turned around and fired again, but to only find that she was teleporting faster than I could shoot.

“Oh you are clearly bested human, just let death take you.”

“God, can’t you bad guys just fight without the damn talking!” I jerked the gun around and fired six more rounds at the queen as she teleported in an irregular pattern around me.

Click Click.

“Shit.” I hit the clip release button and dropped the empty clip to the ground and fumbled with another one and loaded it into the Beretta.

“Oh human, you are doomed. Why can’t you realize this?” The queen stopped in front of me and jumped at me. I dodged to the left and brought the pistol up just as she passed by me, I squeezed the trigger.

BANG

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” The queen roared into the sky as I saw green gooey blood begin to leak out of a hole on her abdomen. She turned and looked at me in disbelief.

“Not so powerful now huh?” I asked her and leveled the pistol at her head. Wrong choice of words.

An explosion of green energy radiated out from the queen and blasted me back and off my feat. I flew through the air and crashed into the wrought iron gate that led into the castle gardens.

“YOU WILL BE SHOWN NO MERCY. ILL SKIN YOU ALIVE AND MOUNT YOUR HEAD ON MY WALL!” The Nightmare screamed at me. Whatever had been left of Chrysalis was gone. The Nightmare now had complete control of her body, and was radiating so much magical energy that even with my magic absorbing ability I wouldn’t last long.

I got up and broke the lock off the gate with a swift kick. I holstered the pistol and dashed off into the gardens at a dead sprint, trying to get some distance between me and the enraged queen.

I rounded a corner and stopped running. I could go left through the rose gardens or right through a hedge maze. Fuck the maze. I started heading into the rose garden when a green explosion obliterated the area in front of me. I was thrown back wards onto the ground coughing and having trouble breathing. Through the smoke from the fire, Queen Chrysalis emerged chackling loudly.

“And so ends the tail of Equestria’s last human.” Her horn charged for another lethal blast of magical energy and she aimed at me. I dove to the side and came up running to the maze.

“You are only further delaying your doom! Just let death overtake you!” The double toned voice screamed after me as I ran through the endless twists and turns in the maze. I stumbled and turned another corner as a throne branch caught my right sleeve and ripped my precious duster.

I ran through another section of the maze as I my eyes darted every in every direction trying to find the monster that was lurking for me. I stopped running as I came into the center of the maze. A large fountain sat in the middle of the hedge maze. I unslung my rifle and slowly moved towards it, rifle aimed and at the ready to waste the queen.

“Muhahaha.” The laughter seemed to come from every direction around me. I spun on my heel and fired a burst into the bushes behind me.

“That’s right, feel the desperation of your situation sink in.” Another blast of bullets into the bushes.

“Do you feel alone? Frightened? How about terrified?” The voice echoed all around me. I fired a long burst from the M16A2 into the bushes all around the fountain. I panted heavily as the weapon ran dry and just made a clicking noise. I released the empty magazine and began to grab a new one off my chest rig. Only three left. 90 rounds. 90 chances to kill this queen. 90 chances to end the Nightmare.

“Oh we can’t have that!” This time the voice came from directly behind me. I spun around still reaching for a new clip. The Nightmarish Queen Chrysalis was right there. An evil smile covered her face. She licked her fangs and moved in to strike me. I dodged right and dodged left as she threw punch after punch trying to hit me. I tried to jab at her with the rifle butt, which she nimbly avoided each time.

“Just. Sand. Still.” She said as she jabbed at me with her long sinister horn. I jumped back and slung the empty rifle across my back. I turned and ran from the wicked queen. As I ran bolts of green energy ripped apart the bushes and leaves around me. I hit the deck as a blot of magical energy exploded the fountain raining bits of marble and water everywhere. I got back up and took off towards the exit of the hedge garden.

As I ran, the queen perused me shooting bolt after bolt of energy after me. I finally found the exit of the maze and dove out of the deadly trap. I sprinted across the garden as trees and flowers were burnt and blown up by magical energy.

I stopped immediately to find myself looking straight down to the ground far below me. I had reached the end of the royal gardens and had found the edge of Canterlot. A waterfall roared next to me and plummeted straight down to a massive lake that rested under the city of Canterlot next to the mountain the city was constructed on.

“Nowhere to run human.” The sinister voice calmly said as I turned to face Chrysalis as she slowly walked towards me. Her eyes were glowing blood red and the green fire swirled around her. My heart felt as if was going to explode from my chest as she moved closer.

I backed up another step and felt my heel slip on the edge of the ground. A few pebbles fell off the edge and tumbled the long way down to the lake a thousand feet below. I gulped and looked back Chrysalis. She moved closer, smiling that evil smile.

“It ends here!” I yelled and whipped the rifle at my back and leveled it at the soon to be dead queen. “Goodbye Nightmare.” I squeezed the trigger.

Click

I looked down to see I never finished loading the rifle. I quickly grabbed a magazine off my chest rig and brought it to the rifle and feed the new clip in. Click. Back and ready for action.

SHINK

Pain ripped through my stomach as I looked down and saw Chrysalis pulling her head back from stomach. Her horn dripping red blood. I took my hand off the fore grip and placed it on my abdomen. It came back sticky with blood. I fell to my knees, coughing up blood as I landed.

“And so this is how you die human. I promised I would make you die slowly, and that’s just what I'm going to do.” Queen Chrysalis moved in again and lowered her head placing her horn on my chest. “Any last words human?”

I mumbled something but it came out gurgled from all the blood.

“One more time human, I'm afraid all your blood made it impossible to hear you.” She lowered her head closer to me to hear my final words.

“This is how you die Nightmare.” I lifted the rifle up with my right hand and placed the barrel right under her chin. She tried to move away in time but it was too late. I squeezed the trigger on my beautiful rifle.

BANG

Tink

The bullet passed through her jaw and out the top of her head exploding its way out sending green blood and brain everywhere. The Queen’s lifeless body toppled forward and landed on me plummeting both of us over the edge of Canterlot and towards the lake below.

It was over. My short time in Equestria was at an end. I had stopped the Changeling invasion and saved the day. I had protected the ponies from being destroyed by the Nightmare. Humans were just naturally prone to dying in the process to save ponies.

Memories flashed before my eyes from Earth and from Equestria. My human and pony friends. My time growing up on Earth and the skills I mastered there that saved the world here. The faces of friends and family rushed by as I felt the wind tearing at my face and hair as I plummeted down. The Queen’s still form falling along with me.

And Saddle Company. My dearest friends that I had in Equestria. We trained together, and passed with each other through boot camp to become Royal Guards, I would never have forgotten them.

And Sky. Even now as I fell through the air I could see the red father sill on my duster. Its shiny red color glinting in the sunlight. I could only fell pain in the fact that I was leaving her behind, but I had to die to save the ponies. She would continue on living and just like Battle Plan be able to tell her foals that she knew Equestria’s last human.

I closed my eyes and reflected on the life I had lived. It was a good one, not long, but good still. And the best part of it, was I was dying as to protect the ponies of Equestria; just as the humans before me had done. I was ready; I could only hope that death wouldn’t be as painful as a horn to the stomach.

SPLASH

I hit the lake hard and felt the cold claws of death grip me and pull me under the surface. I was at peace. Then blackness came over me and my mind went numb. And everything just stopped.

The Epilogue

The Epilogue

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Epilogue
By Honored Service

*One year after the death of Honored Service*

Celestia stood on a platform overlooking the Canterlot gardens. Hundreds of ponies from all over Equestria had gathered to listen to the speech prepared by their leader in honor of the fallen human. A few griffons also decided to attend the gathering as they too heard about the amazing feats of this warrior biped.

The Princess of the Sun looked over the sea of pastel ponies. Her sister joined her and both royal alicorn sisters bowed their heads. All the ponies quieted and looked forward to their leaders in silence.

“My little ponies, today we are gathered here to pay our respects to a creature that deserved more than we could have ever given him. I am speaking about the human Johnson, or by his Equestrian name, Honored Service.

“This human came from a different world and put himself in the way of danger to protect us from many different threats. Whether it was Timber Wolves outside of Ponyville, or the creatures that roam the woods outside of Canterlot, he was always there to save us from something. One year ago on this very day, Honored gave the ultimate sacrifice to protect us once more. The changelings attacked this city with the intent to kill and destroy the pony population. They were led my Queen Chrysalis who was taken over by the Nightmare that had infected my sister.

This Nightmare wanted nothing but to destroy our way of life, but Honored Service had different plans. This lone human stopped the changeling army dead in its tracks and killed the evil queen. He was killed by the queen but had succeeded in stopping her.

So it is now that I declare this day to be a holiday celebrated with happiness in honor of the human that gave his life to stop the destruction of our species. Honor Day!”

The cheers of the ponies echoed across the entire city of Canterlot as the two alicorns pulled a large white sheet of a statue that rested underneath. A large marble carving of a bipedal creature stood on a base of granite. The human figure wore a duster that was flowing behind him as if caught in a breeze. The iconic weapon that the human used was held in one hand, pointed down and the other hand hung freely at his side. The smaller weapon and knife could be seen in its holster and sheath on his belts that crisscrossed his chest. A helmet that resembled the ones worn by the royal Guard rested on his head. And on his face he wore a smile that made everypony feel safe and cared for. A smile that seemed to say, ‘protected’.

A bronze plaque on the base of the statue read, This monument is of Johnson or Honored Service the last human to walk in Equestria. On the 23rd of Spring Rise 3,003 this human stopped the changeling invasion and gave his life to secure the safety of all ponies. May he forever be remembered as Equestrian Honor Guard Honored Service.

Ponies milled around for a while paying their respects to the statue by laying flowers at the base of it. Although a few ponies left smaller tokens at the base.

A trio of fillies laid a small red cape with a gold foal emblem on it, at the statues feet.

An orange earth pony and a large red earth pony left a basket of apples near the cape.

A pink pony left a cupcake on top of the apples.

A purple unicorn and a baby dragon left a book, entitled, The Story of Honored Service; Equestria’s Last Human, near the cupcake.

A blue pegasus simply nodded to the statue and placed a pair of sunglasses near the book and mumbled, “The coolest human there was.”
A white unicorn placed a half-finished hat that resembled a beret of red and gold next to the sunglasses.

A timid yellow pegasus crept up to the statue’s base and laid a simple bouquet of yellow and white flowers down.

The final group of ponies bowed their heads and said silent thanks to the dead and gone human that had given its life to save and protect them, and all the other ponies of Equestria. Together the group moved out of the gardens casting final glances in the direction of the marble statue.

Only one pony remained in the garden alone with the unmoving statue.

“Hi Honored.” The mare spoke softly to the figure.

A red coated mare with an orange mane trotted up to the base of the statue and looked up at the face of the human. “I wanted to come by and say good bye, since I didn’t get to when you were here.” A tear rolled of her cheek and landed nest to all the gifts laid at the statue’s feet. “I’m going to miss you Honored Service. I really did love you. There was so much more that I wanted to do but we never had the time.” More tears joined the first on the granite.

The mare reached under her wing and pulled out two small metal disks attached to a thin metal chain. “I’ve kept good care of these so I could give these back to when I saw you again. But…but…” Another wave of tears cut the mare off as she feel to her stomach and wept openly on the statues feet. “But you aren’t coming back are you Honored?” She looked up at the frozen smile etched onto the marble’s surface.

The red mare laid the dog tags silently next to the yellow and white flowers. “Good bye Johnson. I love you.” The mare closed her eyes and just thought about the short time she had had with her human.

“Now why are you sad?” A calm voice with a hint of playfulness called out to the crying mare. “I would expect somepony to be happy in front of such a good looking statue; although I think the jaw line is a little to round. Don’t you?”

The sobbing mare sniffled and wiped a hoof across her nose, turning to look at who was interrupting her mourning.

Behind her stood a tall bipedal creature that stepped out from underneath an oak tree. The creature had a smile on its face as he stopped in front of the statue. He had on a worn old brown duster that had holes and tears all along it. One sleeve was torn completely off, while the other still had a small red and blue patch with a gold foal on it. A series of belts held multiple knives along his chest and legs while a holster rested under his left arm. An armored chest piece that was scratched and dented covered most of his torso and a faded gold helmet with a green Mohawk rested on his head. A canvas satchel was slung across one shoulder along with a long rectangular weapon.

“Hello Sky”

okay, so maybe i told the tiniest little lie. There is indeed a sequel to this wonderful story. Be on the look out for Honor Above All Else. It tells the tale of what occured to Honored Service in the one year he was gone, leading up to the present reunion with Fast Skies. The updates will be coming a lot slower with this new story as the military college will be....confiscating all incoming cadet's electronics for a couple of days/weeks. And i am also in the process of writing some other stories that are not connected to Johnson in any way. Other fanfics. Thanks for reading, and hope to see you again in another story.

Stay strong,
Stay loving
Stay Tolerating,

-Johnson

Sequel is nearly up

Sequel is nearly up

The Sequel is under review!

Find it here once its approved

Honor Above All Else

The Training Op

The Training Op

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 1
By: Honored Service

“Wake the fuck up shit face!”

I am not a shit face. And i wasn't shit faced. I am a poor decision maker though. I currently am a freshman at one of the nation’s hardest military colleges. And as a freshman apart of the fourth class system, I am not human being, I am shit. Thus shit face.

I looked up into the eyes of a red faced junior all of us freshmen called 'Boomer'. He was pretty heavy for a cadet and screamed a lot... Like a boomer.

"Sir sorry, I am awake now and ready sir." I said, as he moved down the bed of the truck to torture some other freshman.

"I see someone finished that history paper late last night."

I turned to my right to see a smiling freshman, one of my best friends, Patterson. He was stuck in my company and Army ROTC class. Patterson was a good friend and was always there for you when you needed him, no matter what it was.

"Yeah man, 3 in the morning." I said as I gave him a punch on the shoulder. "What's today's training op?"

Across the bed of the supply truck, turned transport truck, was another member of my company, Ryans, he was an incredibly bright kid who was just able to get good grades right off the bat, and still studied for hours on end. Like a 4.5 GPA all his life.

He looked at me and shrugged.
"Same as last week's dude; enemy took the plans for the base and we have to either retrieve them or kill all the S.O.B.s who took 'em... " He paused for a second, then chuckled, "Or you know, blow them up."

"And knowing Boomer..."

"Yup," he said, "Boom."

"And Boomer is Captain for the day again?"

From the left side of me another voice spoke up, “You know it man, he just loves to have the power. Fucking asshole." That voice was Jacobs. He was an excellent guy and excelled to be the best cadet recruit possible, just a tad cocky and boastful but he deserved it. Not to mention he was one hell of an athlete; track, football, and basketball star.

"Awesome, I can't wait to do this op. So excited. What other companies are with us?" I asked trying to figure out what kind of fun today was going to be.

Ryans was digging into his pack, pulled out a notebook and handed it to me.

"We got Alpha, Romeo, Hotel and some regimental band guys. And the big scary enemy has F troop, Gulf, Lima, and Victor."

Tucking the notebook into my inside chest rig pocket and thanking Ryans for his foresight to bring an extra ops manual, I closed my eyes hoping to get a few more minutes of sleep before we hit the training field.

"All of you shits disembark and get your equipment from the Sergeant and then meet in the staging area." That was the fastest 5 minute break ever. Screw late night papers.

An echoed mass of "sir yes sir" was heard and all of us freshmen moved out to get fitted for today's training fun time.

• • •

"Name?"

“Sir, Johnson sir"

"Identification number?"

"Sir, 109716914 sir "

"1 M16A2 and 1 Berretta side arm. How many blanks ya want Johnson?"

"Sir,8 M16 mags and 5 Berretta clips sir."

"Ok and I want them all back. Don't go throwing them around everywhere. Pick 'em up, this shit costs money." This entire time the Gunnery Sergeant hadn't looked up once from his manifest and weapon deployment sheets. I picked up my equipment and stepped back from the table.

"Sir thank you sir."

As I proceded towards the staging area, i tried to get all of my equipment in order for the training op. this consisted entierly of filling my mag pouches with loaded magazines.

The time was 10:36 in the morning. It was shaping up to be a long day out on the field.

I jogged up to my squad mates just as Boomer started briefing us on the op that was being done today.

"Listen up you worthless wastes of space," barked the junior, "We are going to stop the enemy from making off with the intel to our base. We know that they are held up in the building 600 yards down range and they know that we are coming! Expect resistance!"

I leaned over to Patterson and whispered, "So, not only do they know we're coming to get them, they also have a building to hide in?"

"Who just fucking talked!?"

The junior jumped off the stump he had been on and walked into the middle of the group of freshmen.

"Well? Which one of you shits think they know how to do this better?"

I slowly moved forward and braced in front of the junior.

"Sir I was the one who spoke sir." I may have been trembling slightly. You never gave yourself up unless everyone was going to get punished. I was just being honest and fessing up before Boomer would punish anyone.

"Well I appreciate the honestly Johnson." He walked over to me and smiled. For a second there I almost thought I would be forgiven... almost.

"Well you little fuck up; guess whose squad gets to be forward recon and possibly suicide squad?"

Well so much for avoiding punishment, at this point I was screwed so why not play the game poke the bear. Try to piss off an upperclassman when it couldn't get much worse.

"Sir would it be Alexander's squad sir?"

I wasn't prepared for the rifle but that smashed into my lower gut and sent me toppling into the mud at the junior's feet.

"No you little shit stain, your squad. Now get the fuck out of the mud you worm and back into position. Everyone synch watches. We go on 1100."

As my 3 squad mates picked me up and helped me back to my feet, Boomer leaned over to me and whispered, "Hey, Shit face! Wanna know something? My friend is the enemy leader today. I'm going to make sure he 'accidentally' picks up dummy rounds in stead of blanks. Just for you Johnson. Have fun out there."

Now I'm in pretty deep shit right? It can't get much worse can it? Yes it can. I can just keep talking. Fuck my big mouth.

"Sir thank you I feel so special and lucky."

I wasn't prepared for the second rifle but to the gut either. I went down again into the mud.

With that, Boomer about faced and strolled over to the Army ROTC Colonel and Captain to discuss his plans to win the training battle.

Ryans picked up my rifle and brushed off some dirt that had gotten dangerously close to the firing port. "Dude, you really should shut that trap of yours." He said as he handed it back to me.

I pulled the charging handle back and put the weapon on safe. "Thanks Ryans, I was being honest. I got some awesome squad mates. Now let's go be the best forward squad ever."

The time was 10:56

Thanks to Shadowabsol Check em' for some amazing editing skillz. With a z, That awsome.)
Big Thanks to Slip Kid what a boss for more editing skillz

The First Encounter

The First Encounter

The Equestrian Honor Guard
Chapter 6
By Honored Service

I tore through the forest fleeing for my life. Another vine tried to slow me down, but was sliced in half with Bad Bertha in one quick swing.

"Move you fucking vines! I'm trying to stay alive here!"

I had woken up from my temporary camp (me sleeping propped up against a tree) to some horrible monster hovering inches from my face. From there on out it had all been downhill. I have been running through the forest for the last 30 minutes trying to escape my pursuer but to no avail.

"Sweet Celestia, just give me a break please."

I tripped over another root, one of many this morning, and scrabbled back to my feet. Only to meet that damn creature again as it made another stab at my body.

"SHIT FUCK!" I screamed dodging another attack; I slashed at it with my knife, seeing as that was my only weapon.

"Fuck me! I’d give all my pop tarts for one goddamn bullet."

My guns, which I dubbed 'human magic’, were completely useless without bullets. And with blanks they were just glorified cap guns.

My swift attacked missed leaving an opening for my opponent to strike. I nimbly countered it with another dodge and took off through the forest again, still being chased by this fucking monstrosity.

"What do you want? I taste horrible, honest!"

Actually, I would imagine I would taste really good. Maybe spicy. Or something with a pleasant after taste. Like hot buffalo wings. Shit now I'm thinking like my chaser.

I fell onto the ground thanks to another root. Nope, this time it was a rock. The forest wanted to mix things up before I die. I crawled on my back, trying to escape my impending doom. I turned my head to see a raging river behind me, making further escape impossible.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I watched the flying creature of death inch closer and closer to me. My breaths came out fast and ragged as I struggled to delay the inevitable; after the run through the fucking shitty forest.

"Fine you got me, you sunavbitch. If expect me to go down easy then think again. Come on and get it!"

I stood up on shaky legs. If this is how it was going to end, I was going to take it standing. Like a man.

"Come on hit me! I want ya to! Hit me. Hit me!" I shouted at the bastard as he came in for the final kill.

The biggest fucking mosquito you have seen lodged itself onto my arm and began to drink heavily of my precious life giving blood.

SLAP

"Ew gross. You were full of me, you little prick."

I brushed off the dead insect and looked around the clearing I had ended up in. I was standing next to a river that was raging with rapids. The bank I was near was pretty barren save for a few rocks here and there.

"You know this isn't a bad spot for a more permanent camp. Better than sleeping against a tree. Thanks bug for bringing me here, may you rot forever."

I shrugged off the back pack and set it on the ground. I moved over to the bank of the river and collected some rocks to create a fire circle in my new camp. I began placing the rocks into a circle to help maintain a fire once I gathered some sticks and twigs.

I rolled out my bedroll near the circle and placed my rifle and backpack on it. Walking to the tree line I had come out of during my struggle for survival; I began to collect branches and leaves to start a small fire. It wasn't dark, but the smoke would help keep away the damned monsters that were disguised as Mosquitos.

I came back to my new camp and striking to rocks together began to create some sparks to try and ignite some wonderful flames...

Skipping ahead to when I made a fire. (Let’s just ignore all the cursing and broken rocks) I sat down and started picking off all the twigs and leaves that were covering me from the romp in the forest.

"Oh my. What a quaint little camp you have here!"

I feel over backwards; scrambling to grab my rifle and level it at the thing that was talking to me. (I know it was useless but anyone else didn't know that)...(and that shit was loud)

Slowly rising out of the river was a purple serpent, with orange hair? How could I have not seen that this river was the very same one from the pilot? This river was home to the fabulous serpent, Steven Magnet; well that’s what the fandom called him.

I slowly recovered from my crouched firing position and put the rifle down. No need and make an enemy when I could easily make a friend.

"Um hello there. Can you understand me? My name is Johnson." I asked him slowly hoping that English was the same as Equestrian or pony or whatever it's called over here in this world.

"Johnson? Of course I can silly. I was having the most wonderful nap, when I heard this screaming of a young filly. Have you seen one around here?" the serpent was pointing right at where I had made my camp.

I may have been turning red and shuffling my feet a bit. I also may have screamed when I was being chased by the bug. That thing was like 6.9 inches long.

"Ummm nope. Can't say I have sir."

"Oh my goodness? What is that abomination you are wearing?"

Wow my first experience with sentient life in Equestria and he didn't like what I was wearing.

"Oh this? This is my Army uniform." I explained while pointing at the digital camouflaged sleeve. I was a bit dirty, but I certainly wasn't an abomination.

"Army? Wait a second, what are you? I thought you were that pony that likes to walk around on her hind legs all the time. But she has some sense of fashion. And I don’t think her name is Johnson. Lyre or something like that." the serpent was tapping a finger to his chin and playing with his mustache, twirling it around his other fingers.

"I'm a human. From Earth. And are you Steven Magnet, a serpent right?" I know it was a long shot but maybe; we had been right about some stuff here. We were right about Lyra apparently.

"Well you're right about the Serpent, but who is Steven Magnet? My name is Reginald." He ended with a slight bow.

Well we Bronies can't be right about everything. Well now I have the potential to make my first friend in Equestria and having a giant serpent as a friend could certainly come in handy while living in this forest.

"Oh just a mistake, Reginald. I'm kinda new here. I just dropped in as it were. Like literally dropped in. I'm from another planet and now I'm living here."

I'm going to experiment here and try being honest upfront with him. If all goes well, maybe this will be my strategy when it comes time to meet some ponies.

"An alien? Oh my, this is just so exciting! Tell me about your planet. No wait; tell me about fashion on your home world. No wait; tell all about this tacky outfit you're wearing!" Reginald had now propped himself up on his elbows onto the river bank.

"Well this is the standard... This isn't tacky Reginald. It is designed to make me harder to spot in wooded areas and urban centers at a distance." I was a little hurt; I liked this uniform very much. Maybe the combat tact vest was a bit much, but it did offer some protection to my chest and back when I was wearing it. Enough to stop a 9mm bullet, so hopefully some claws and teeth couldn't get through it.

"Well it certainly doesn't match the woods of the Everfree." The purple serpent flipped his head and ran his hand through his hair.

"Ok so maybe it isn't that fashionable, but it wasn't made with fashion in mind. Wait. Why am I talking about fashion with you? I need to know which way is Ponyville please?"

I took of the tactical vest and realized that I was sweaty, dirty, and I had a nice stinky smell on me.

Reginald also noticed it, and backed off a little ways. "Ponyville is that was down the river; it actually runs through it, just not as wide or deep. It's a quaint little town. Just fabulous. If you're heading that way, stop by a shop called, Carousel Boutique and say hello to a unicorn named Rarity for me."

Reginald stood back up to his full height and began to submerge back into the river.

"Wait Reginald!"

He paused and raised an eyebrow in my direst ion. "Yes Johnson?"

"Thanks for your help, but could I trouble you for one more itty bitty thing?" I was thinking about trying something. Something that should work in a cartoonish world. "Could I please have a few of your wonderful scales? You know to try and improve my... Um outfit?"

"Of course you can! Anything to help you look more fabulous!" And with that he reached under the water and pulled out 5 shiny purple scales and handed them to me. He then disappeared under the surface of the river and was gone.

"Thanks!" I called after the nice serpent. The scales were as long as my arm and were very hard and about an inch thick but with a slight bend to them. Perfect.

Pulling out my ops manual, I scratched out two of the three objectives of my current mission in Equestria. Find the way to Ponyville. Check. Find a place to establish a base camp. Check.

My watch said it was 3:30. Still had plenty of daylight left.

Now to work on number three. Make some real bullets. And these scales would certainly help.

I walked to the fire circle and put some sticks over the fire making a small rack. I then put one of the scales over it and waited.
I was waiting to make sure that these scales were fire proof. I was going to need them to be to melt some metal into bullet shapes. And then I would have objective three nearly complete. Making me much safer in this forest or at least I could sleep a little better at night knowing I had some real protection near me.
I reached down and picked up the end of the scale that wasn’t in the fire. Observing the surface of the scale I noticed it was still in perfect condition other than being pretty hot.

“Kick ass! Something is actually going right!” I placed the scale next to me on the ground to cool. I was going to use this one and one more to mold the bullets. Taking the three other scales I began to wonder how I was going to make these into a bowl of some sort, to hold the metal in until I was able to melt metal down into a liquid form. Assuming forging was the same here as it was on Earth.

“Brian Blast!” Grabbing some rocks I planted them into the ground creating a small triangle next to the fire. I put one scale in the middle in between the rocks. Then I taking the other two scales I bent them around the rocks creating a make shift bowl on the ground.

“Fuck. I won’t be able to move the liquid metal when I need to.”Damn, and here I was thinking that this would be easy. Just when things were going my way, this small problem could ruin everything.

“Whatever, I’ll cross that bridge when the time comes. Right now let’s focus on the present. Now I have something to heat up and melt some metal. Now for a mold…”

Picking up the other two scales I used my knife to saw one in half. That took at least 10 minutes to do. Fuck these scales are strong. But that’s a good thing. Now comes the trickiest part of this process.

“If I use BB to carve out the chape of a bullet… this can work, I just have to be perfect with the mold shape. If it isn’t exact to the millimeter then I can just destroy my gun… FUCK!”

Throwing the two pieces of the scale down and picked up my almost empty canteen. I stood up and walked over into the river. Bending over the bank I dipped the canteen into it and began to fill it up. I stopped and almost dropped it into the river.

My reflection.

I looked like me, but at the same time I was different. Definitely cartoony looking, like color wise, peachy skin and a rough 5’oclock shadow covering my chin and check, I must say I liked that. My shaved head (as was required by my college of choosing) wasn’t shaved any more. Well it was crew cut, but I had hair! Brown hair but it now had streaks of red, orange and red through it. My eyes on Earth were green with gold flakes in them. But here, they were brilliant green with bright golden flecks that looked like miniature stars. Pretty boss.

I whistled and stepped back from the river closing up the canteen and attaching it back onto my belt. I moved back to the fire. I knew what I had to do.

“Just take your time Johnson. Use a blank cartridge to measure the diameter of the bullet. And use the space left in the magazine to make the length. And guess on the point of the bullet…just try to be perfect.” Taking out BB I slowly and painstaking carved out the mold for the 5.56 bullet using anything I could to make the shape perfect.

I checked my watch, it was 5:30.

“What the FUCK! Two hours went by already!?” I then realized that I had just finished the 5.56 mold.

“That’s great, now just to do the 9mm mold.

Fuck. It was going to be another long night without proper protection. Just BB and me and a small fire. Tomorrow I would find some metal to melt and make some bullets.

I finally laid down on my bedroll at 10:30 according to watch after completing my 9mm mold. It took longer as well; I messed up twice and didn’t want to ruin my gun. Better be right then fucked.

Here ya are, a long chapter (by my definition) just for you. You know who you are. you asked for it.

*UPDATE*

*UPDATE*

Hey my gorgeous readers. Might i say you are all looking wonderful today...yes i need something from you.

I would like to eventually submit this to EQD, but i have a slight problem. English inst my strongest class. I need someone to help me with editing and pre-reading my stuff. If you would like to help (i only two of you amazing bastards) I would greatly appreciate it!

Most chapter wont be thousands of words long. Just 2,000 or around there, so easy to manage.

Im just asking ya'll before i head over to ponychan and as them.

and as payment you can have 3 wishes, i mean 3 question that i will answer...within reason. What is you address doesn't count.

And sorry for making you think that this was a chapter, there will be one up tomorrow night. No work, so all day writing session
/thread

*Bad Bertha*

*Bad Bertha*

They say a picture is worth a thousand words. Here is 4,000

Bad Bertha Sheathed and Spike and Wonder rounds

Full Length BB

Blade and the Handle Spike

Point towards enemy

Now whenever you read about BB, that's what she actually looks like.

An update for you

An update for you

An update for y’all readers. Yes I'm still alive, I just have been busy with the military college to write a chapter in one sitting. And I don’t want to give you amazing readers a 1,000 word chapter at a time, so when the story does update, expect it to be slightly bigger than normal. I just wanted to say to you all that I'm still writing, and Johnson’s adventures will continue for a while!

Peace and Honor-
Johnson