Wartime, Pt. 2

"Colin's! Were the fuck is my porn!?"

"Its in the tank. Hey, I'm going to the local Taco Bell, do you want anything?"

'Oh fuck. Please don't come over here.'

"Let me just get you your shitty porn, fucking prick."

'No..no!'

'Oh God his hands are so fucking greasy!'

*wack*

"A shit! That fucking hurts!"

"What happened Colin's!?"

"I hit my head on the fucking tanks cannon!"

'Heheheheehehe'

"Anyway, I'm going to go get some burritos you sure you don't want anyth-"

"PORN!"

'Humans and their porn, I'll never get used to it.'

-----Military base Alpha, central Pakistan. Mechanic bay 4.------

It wasn't an unusual day. No. Just a normal day of doing nothing.

My cannon was prepped, my machine gun was loaded, theal sights are cleaned and checked, and what am I doing?

Waiting.

For my fucking driver to get back so we can blow up people.

He's getting Taco Bell, apparently Pakistani humans love that shit, and American, and Mexican...

OK the whole fucking planet.

Anyway, I was supposed to be on a scouting mission about 2 house ago but I'm still sitting here.

"Colin's!?"

'Who's that?'

'Oh, it's just another human calling my driver'

The human I was watching suddenly swung around to me.

"Hello.."

'...'

He looked around, and noticed a taco bell bag next to a ammo crate.

He looked through it to find two unopened bean burritos.

Then looked around to see if he was being watched.

And at me.

"Well, I got nothing else to do..."

'No, no. Nonono!'

He walked over to me and opened the commander hatch.

And climbed in.

'Aw, for fucks sake!'

Then he proceeded to eat the bean burritos.

"As my God! Its like sex! But with no hair!"

"It feels like my wife shit in my mouth, but it taste so good!"

"I could masturbate to this burrito!"

'........I fell violated.'

I heard a rumble, earthquake? No, we are in the middle of fucking Pakistan.

"Aw shit! Smells like my son shit in some tinfoil and eaten it and vomited!"

My thermal vision became blocked with a certain gas that emmited from inside me.

'Oh come on! I just got cleaned!'

The human got out of me, and then ran to the other end of the garage.

I saw some sparkles on my cannon, at first I thought it was just lenses flare on my normal sight.

But it got brighter.

*poof*

"What the- aw fuck! I need to get a cleaning team in her to decontaminate that smell!"

-----Equestria---

Warthog was currently checking over himself when a giant puff of air out of nowhere knocked him back from his wheels.

Warthog then used his thrusters to re-level himself.

"Who the fuck-"

Warthog cut himself off when he saw a M1-Abrams sitting there.

With it's cannon aimed straight at Warthog.

"Woah, easy Abrams. Friendly."

"You can fucking talk?" Said Abrams.

"Holy shit, I can talk to!" Abrams said in surprise.

"Well, looks like your convenienly next to me. Witch will make everything easier to explain."

"What do you mean by that?" Abrams asked, confused about the statement.

"Well-"

----One annoyingly long explanation that I'm to lazy to type and I know you heard enough from other stories to get the point later-

"And that's how you got here."

Abrams had no expression, but warthog could sense a very confused aura.

"So let me recap."

-well shit, I'll be nice then-

"I'm on a separate planet called Equis with resemblance to Earth except the population consist of multicolored ponies that have other races called unicorn, alicorn, pegusus, and earth that have special talants that judge their destiny and is bound by laws of friendship?"

"Yeah."

"And this country that we are in now is called equestria and is ruled over as a duel monarchy with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna who control the celestial bodies the sun and moon and are looked up to?"

"Yup, pretty much."

"And other species liver to like Diamond Dogs, Minitor's, Dragons, bug ponies-"

"OK you get the point, anyway we need to move, we can't stay in this location." Warthog said impatiently.

"Why?" Abrams asked.

"If you haven't noticed, it's going to storm. We are lightning magnets here if we stay."

"Where should we go then?" Abrams asked as the first raindrop fell on to his cannon.

"There's a forest nearby, we can take some sort of shelter there." Warthog began to taxi himself twords the forest with Abrams following after him.