The Honorable Discharge of Lieutenant Rainbow Dash

by lola2901

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Sad, Romance, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Adventure, Maud Pie, Pinkie Pie
Length: 8242

After years of fighting in the war against Sombra, Lieutenant Rainbow Dash passes away, leaving behind broken friends and family. But there is more to her story. She was not at war with the Empire. She was at war with herself.

Sometimes, you have to begin at the end.

Rainbow Dash has been called to serve in the war, and she's eager to defend her country. But it turns out, war isn't glory or honor like she dreamed. War is death, destruction, friends, foes, and falling in and out of love. The war she's fighting isn't as easy as it seems-because sometimes, the enemy isn't behind you. It's inside of you.

Mature for themes of war and occasional mention of wounds.

Published 2015-12-04 00:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-09-28 00:57:07 UTC

Chapter One; Five Years Earlier

Five years earlier

Clearly it was an attempt on her life.

The lanky pegasus paced down the train aisle for at least the seventh time, letting out a long, slow, frustrated breath. She couldn’t even look outside to occupy herself, the windows each blacked out. Forget the worry of the light being spotted-the bomber pegasi could probably hear her pacing.

Closing her eyes, she slumped into her seat, counting to thirteen and reaching for her happy place. All she felt was a spring in her side.

Obviously it was some sort of plot to have her die of cabin fever before she ever even reached Manehatten-she was going stir crazy already.

Some of the others on the train sat huddled together, eyes cast upward, as if they might see the bombs drop through the ceiling. Others folded in on themselves, lips moving as they silently sent a prayer for Celestia to save their soul. They were terrified for their lives. And so was Rainbow Dash-but she was used to that. Bomb drills and raids were a dime a dozen back home. Terrifying or not, they were familiar, and so the aching frustration had set in.

It probably wasn’t even real bombers-just another flock of geese, or a wayward cloud, or some pony lost out after dark. They’d probably stopped the train for nothing, and now she was going to be late. Some impression that’d make. Her fuming was cut short by the first blast.

In some ways it was comforting. At least now she knew this whole mess wasn’t for nothing, that they weren’t pointlessly hiding from no one.

Her heart was racing.

She could hear the blood drumming in her temples, beating loud enough to rival the distant explosion. Could they hear that? Had they somehow heard her pacing the aisle? Rainbow bit down hard on the panic, glancing around the train with a forced expression of relaxed casualty.

A mother was trying to keep her baby from crying, and an old creaky stallion had passed out, slumped down in the aisle. No one move to help him. No one even stirred but the mother and her tiny colt.

It was only heartbeats before a pony colored like lemonade stood, stepping gingerly out into the long space between seats. Crouching, she gently shook him, worry lining her face. “Um, excuse me? Sir? Sir are you okay?” she asked, her voice high enough it broke, strained with fear.

Before he could answer, before she could ask him again, there was another blast, much closer than the last. The train rocked hard, and everyone stifled screams and sobs as it shook. Rainbow braced herself against the wall, shutting her eyes hard until the rocking faded, and the heat from the blast began to dissipate. How close would it hit next? One train car over? A few rows behind? Right on their heads?

The small yellow pony shook fearfully, eyes pricks of blue. “He-he’s not breathing,” she said, straining to raise her voice loud enough to hear. “Please, does anyone know first aid? Please, anyone-”

“Just sit down and be quiet before the bombers hear you!” snapped a stocky unicorn, eyes wavering with fear.

Eyes wet, she backed away, looking miserably to the old stallion in the aisle. Finally, she paused, looking around for an empty seat to disappear into. None were empty here-but there was one that wasn’t quite so crowded.

She looked to Rainbow Dash hesitantly, ears back as if she might strike her. “If you don’t mind, I-I’d like to sit here, if that’s alright with you, that is,” she said, looking back up the aisle.

Rainbow paused, wondering when she’d opened her eyes to watch the yellow pony. “Plenty of room for everyone,” she said, forcing a smile that felt as fake as it was.

The pony sat, sinking into herself, her pastel mane falling over her eyes. They sat in silence, without even the chugging of the train or the bomb fall to accompany the wordlessness.

It was Rainbow Dash who broke it.

“I’m Rainbow Dash, by the way,” she said, keeping her voice down as not to stir up the more skittish ponies in the car. “I’m going to Manehatten since Cloudsdale’s there-I’m signing up with the army. You?”

The small pony paused, offering a shy smile. “I remember you. My name’s Fluttershy. I think we went to flight camp together, remember?”

Rainbow’s face flushed with shame as she remembered, and she grimaced, looking away. “Yeah. Sorry about losing the race-I swear I don’t know what happened,” she said, sinking back into the seat.

To her surprise, Fluttershy’s smile only relaxed. “Oh, I don’t care you didn’t win. No one’s ever tried to defend me like that. Even just the idea that you tried that for me-” her words were cut off by another blast, this one so near she could feel the heat radiating through her coat, warming her skin-the train didn’t rock much to this one, as if it were more in front than behind. It was quickly followed by two more blasts, and with one fierce heave, they train went over.

Ponies did their best not to cry out as the motionless trained landed on it’s side, shattering the glass in more than just a few windows. Rainbow caught herself on her wings, but Fluttershy only kept from falling by locking her hooves around the seat, quivering as she held on.

Rainbow grabbed her hooves, gently lowering her to stand on part of the wall that didn’t have much broken glass. “You alright?” she asked, landing carefully.

She was shaking like a rattle, and looked ready to cry, but Fluttershy nodded. “Y-yes I’m fine,” she squeaked. “We need to help the other passengers,” she said, looking to a pony staggering to her feet, looking for her dropped son.

Rainbow took a deep breath, nodding. Someone had to take charge here. She knew all too well she was too rash and impatient to be the sort, but it looked like tonight it was up to her and miss Fluttershy, and somehow she got the feeling the quiet pegasus wasn’t much of the rallying sort either. “You take the front end of the car, I’ll head this way,” she said, turning briskly to assess the damage to the ponies. There were a handful others trying to help as well, doing what they could to check for wounds, make a head count.

The cyan pegasus started forward, kicking aside toppled luggage to clear some semblance of a walkway along the wall. She paused in front of a still warm stallion, his dark ginger coat blacked with silky blood. It nearly blotted out the half moon of his cutie mark, staining his light blue hair. The way his head twisted back on his neck in a way that told her everything she needed to know. It was already too late for him. She stepped over the cooling body and moved on.

A mare huddled with her husband next to a bench bolted into the now-vertical floor, trying gingerly to wipe at the cuts on his face, quietly begging him to wake up already. Rainbow decided he was unconscious-it was better than the alternative.

Passing them by, she approached a small filly, eyes wet as she huddled under a coat at least seven sizes too big for her, more the size of a large stallion than anything else. One of the tiny filly’s eyes was a soft pretty purple. The other was a bloody socket.

“Shh, shh, don’t cry, the salt in your tears is gonna make it hurt worse,” Rainbow said. She wanted to be comforting. She wanted to be soft-but that wasn’t something she knew how to be. “I’m going to rip off part of this coat to bandage your eye, okay?”

The filly started crying more, pulling away. “No, this is daddy’s coat, I have to keep it safe for him,” she said holding it close.

“What’s your daddy look like? I’ll go get him,” offered Rainbow, hoping the tiny girl’s father could convince her to sacrifice the coat.

Sniffling, the tiny creature nodded, looking up at Rainbow Dash with one hopeful eye. “He-he’s a dark orange kind of color, with a blue mane, and his cutie mark-it’s this curvy half moon,” she said, hugging a loose sleeve of the coat to her stomach.

Rainbow closed her eyes, wincing at the description. Only a few rows away, the stallion with the broken neck continued to grow colder as the blood stains set. His life was gone now, off into the vast unknown of whatever was next-and he’d left his fragile daughter behind.

It was going to be a long night.

Chapter Two; Waking the Dead

Daylight and the stench of death filled the train, casting long crooked shadows through the windows on the wall overhead. It was early, that much Rainbow Dash could tell clearly-even the light had shadows, and the air was still cool.

She didn’t remember falling asleep, but she must have, somehow-after all, she was awake now. She stirred slightly, and then paused. In the crook of her hoof was the little filly with the lavender eye, curled up into her side, coat wrapped around her. She lay on her side, almost hiding the jagged cloth wrapped around the eye she lost.

As she gently as she could manage, Rainbow pulled herself free of the sleeping filly, shaking out the pins and needles she felt in her wings. Sticking her tongue between her teeth, she flew up to the wall overhead, carefully pulling herself through a window that had lost nearly all the glass in it’s frame.

Lightly, she stood on the wall of the train car, glancing out. It was a bit of a wasteland, dry and hot, no towns as far as she could see. The bombers had been targeting the railroad then, maybe to stop reinforcements and supplies from getting through. They’d done a bang up job of hitting them, even in the night.

Behind them, only one train car was left, and it was still smoldering, walls bent out of place from melting and hardening after the blast. Ahead was the engine, but it hadn’t managed being knocked over as easily. From the looks of things, any survivors outside of their car hadn’t lasted long.

Her ticket had been for one of the back cars. She’d only survived because she’d gone up front to ask the conductor how much further they’d had to go.

Shaking her head, she tore herself away from the morbid thought, looking down along the line in the direction they were heading. There was no sign of the city on the horizon, and no weather patrols flew across the skies. It would take at least a day to fly there, maybe even longer, and that wasn’t even considering the earth pony and pegasi, or those who’d been injured.

Rainbow Dash let out a long low sigh of frustration, brushing a few stray strands of crimson hair from her eyes, glancing towards the sun, low and amber on the horizon as it began it’s slow steady flight into the sky. They’d need to start out soon if they wanted to make it to Manehatten. She’d get everyone up and going in a few minutes.

As she walked back to the broken window, she paused, frowning. Dropping down through, she flew parallel with the upended walkway as not to wake the little filly. She glanced down the long narrow train, eyes sweeping the still forms. Some stirred softly with the early breath of morning, but others lay still as stars. They were the ones who wouldn’t be moving again. The smell was suffocating.

Finally, she saw what she was looking for; a spindly small figure, curled up against a paisley suitcase, the morning light shining lightly of her soft peony pink hair.

Rainbow Dash landed lightly, folding her wings into her sides. For a moment, she stood in the silky silence, watching the rise of Fluttershy’s side as the pegasus slept, eyelashes fluttering softly as she curled in on herself. She stirred slightly, and Rainbow wondered what the quiet mare was dreaming about. Was it something happy? Was she relieving the crash?

She watched for a while longer, wondering if she should wake her, or at very least comfort her. But no-they hardly knew each other, and everyone would need as much sleep as they could to make the walk to the city.

She wasn’t sure how to explain the guilt, though.

Rainbow paused, wondering what to do next, before she woke the other survivors. She glanced back to Fluttershy, curled up against the suitcase, then back up to the ceiling. Maybe she’d go to the car behind them and check to see if any of her own luggage had survived, or some sort of supplies for the walk into the city.

Hesitating, she glanced around the dimly lit train car. Shadows of people slept between corpses, too exhausted to have even moved away from the bodies before falling asleep. Some times you could hardly even tell the living and dead apart.

No, the other cars had been hit by the bombs-they’d be far far worse. She suppressed a shiver, walking quietly back down the way she came. Even as softly as she stepped, the metal rang beneath her feet, echoing faintly before absorbed by the dust choked carpet and the mix of warm and cold bodies. She moved slowly as she could without growing impatient, careful to kick aside any broken glass that had snapped free from the windows.

The chill of early morning was slowly giving away to the warmth of a day in the vast barren desert, and though her coat still stood on end with the faint cold, no doubt the metal walls would turn the upended train as hot as the sun. Somehow she got the idea the conditioner might not exactly be working.

She couldn’t stand doing nothing any longer. The need to do something, anything, had swollen like a tick gorging itself on blood, annoying and painful in a way that was more in the skin than anything else. She had decided to let them sleep a bit longer; but her mind was changed. They had to get up and moving and some point.

“Everyone wake up! I’m going to lead a group towards the city in half an hour if you’d prefer not to rot here with the rest!” she yelled, her voice echoing off the walls. “Grab your stuff and anyone in your group who isn’t a corpse-we don’t have time to burry the dead! Thirty minutes! I’ll leave behind anyone who isn’t on time!” That was lie. She knew herself well enough to know she could never live with the guilt of leaving anyone.

A few shadowy figures stirred, and some sat, rubbing blearily at their eyes. Slowly, painfully, the wreck of the train car slowly dragged itself back into the world of the living.

Striding past the still figures, she padded back over to where she had spent the night with the lavender-eyed filly. The tiny mare was still asleep, silent as she lay curled up in her daddy’s oversized coat. Ignoring any creepings of guilt for waking her, Rainbow but a hoof on the filly’s shoulder, shaking it gently. “Hey kid, wake up. We’re gonna head to the city soon.” She waited for the pale purple eye to blink open and look to her, the weak voice asking for far from the first time where her daddy had gone. But she didn’t. “Come on now Scout, it’s time to get moving.” No matter how much she spoke, no matter how loudly she asked the tiny filly to wake, she stayed still, head lolling to the side as Rainbow shook her.

She knew what she’d said to them. She knew some might be angry an exception was being made, that they might argue, but it didn’t matter. Her hooves grew sore quickly-she spent more time on her wings, and her legs quickly began to throb. But she ignored it all.

In the early light of the morning, she dug a shallow hole in the rough earth, a place for a little girl to go meet her daddy.

Chapter Three; Lullabies for the Lost

The waste was endless. Long stretches of near desert, empty all except for the occasional scrap of trash, and the train tracks that wavered in the distance, bent and curved by heat you could nearly see.

Her feet were sore, covered in a patchwork of narrow shallow cuts from digging, and aching with a constant pain that begged her to find shade and rest. But there was no shade, and if they stopped to rest, she doubted anyone would drag themselves to their feet again. If only she could fly, up into the empty sky, all the way up where the air was thin and cool on her face, or at least just to give her feet a rest. But one of her wings strained now, aching like a hidden bruise, one that she’d only recently come to discover. She could fly, sure; but she was better off walking for now.

They’d already lost two ponies, so wounded by the crash eventually their legs and lives gave out, and they just fell to the ground. Glancing over her shoulder, she could see the distant black specks of buzzards circling-the more recent of the two hadn’t been all that long ago.

Nearer, though, was Fluttershy, dragging the paisley suitcase, wheels squeaking slightly. A wounded stallion lay curled up in the empty open bag, breathing the uneasy sleep of the dying. Small as she was, a foreign sort of determination lurked in her eyes as she pulled the sleeping stranger as best she could.

Looking back ahead, Rainbow Dash squinted against the sun. When she looked as hard as she could, she could see it-where the land slowly came back to life, and dry brittle grass grew. It was only a lick of faint color on the horizon, but it was something. Once they got out of the dry waste lands, they’d be all that much closer to the city.

She’d been watching the remainder of the group, taking in the steady movement of their weak steps, eyeing them as they strode toward the city they couldn’t see. These ponies were hardened, scared solid by the death they’d seen and the fact they might be next. Even the wounded seemed strong as a manticore, empowered by their fear. These were the survivors. These were the afraid.

Rainbow knew she had never had the good sense to be afraid. But she was now. She was lucky, that much she knew with certainty. But how long would that luck last her? All the way to Manehatten? On to the battlefield?

The sun flew brightly overhead, soaring like a comet that had grown sluggish with exhaustion, tired enough to rival the ragtag wanderers far below, following the tracks religiously. Even the hours could not stand the heat, melting into one another, boiling painfully. No clouds passed overhead for relief, and the distant smudge of brown grass stayed extremely distant.

It was noon, perhaps, or maybe a small bit earlier, but the sun had nearly reached it’s peak, and the heat had never been so thick and unbearable.

Little had been said among the group, each saving their lungs for breathing rather than mindless chatter. Rainbow had begun to wonder if her voice might shrivel up for lack of use, and the next time she opened her mouth, it would blow away like a dead leaf.

No one expected the fragile silence to shatter.

“Lu lay, lu lay, the night and the day, times wheels keep turning. Lu lay, lu lay, we’ll meet on the way, the sun continues burning,” sang a soft high voice, strong and gentle as she crooned the classic lullaby. Rainbow whipped her head around, blinking in surprise. Many pairs of eyes wandered back, drawn by the soft sweet voice.

The color drained from Fluttershy’s voice, and she paused in her walking, bending her head, as if ashamed to have been singing to her wounded charge. The pause was thick enough to choke on.

Pausing, Rainbow cleared her throat, then in a raspy voice, deep for a mare, began singing. “Lu lay, lu lay, the Wendigos bray, their breath as cold as night.”

Hesitantly, Fluttershy joined in, and bit by bit, other straggly voices, dry for lack of use, sang as they walked, sharing between them the old song with it’s lilting unsettling melody. They weren’t exactly a quire of angels. Some were off tune, others sang the pacing wrong, and the voices clashed and melted together. Their voices fell flat on the dry empty landscape, thick with dust.

But it was the most beautiful thing Rainbow Dash ever head.

When the lullaby ended, there was a moment of silence, and then a lanky stallion near the front began to sing. It was a silly children’s song, but no one cared. They sang anyway, holding themselves together with the music. When a baby cried, they shared in lullabies, and between they sang songs of wandering, of home, of smiling, of love and heartbreak. They sang Hearth’s Warming Carols as the trudged through the summer heat, and songs about polka dot puppies as they thought of their loved ones, laying dead and unburied in the wreck of the train.

Even in the sound of voices they couldn’t forget, but at the very least, they could pull away, distance their heart. They could wait to mourn, and wait they would.

Eventually, however, they ran out of songs that most everyone knew, and grew tired of repeating songs they’d heard before. They slipped, and fell, back into the suffocating thoughts that came with the quiet. But the silence hurt less now, even if you could only hardly tell.

No one said when they would stop for the night. As if they shared one mind, they eventually trickled to a stop, hesitantly laying down, as if afraid they might not stand come morning.

They all lay close, curled up with strangers to keep each other warm come the cold of night. After a time, they began to drift off to sleep, some dreamlessly, others to face nightmares or memories.

Rainbow couldn’t sleep.

Lifting her head, she glance back over to Fluttershy, curled up small, eyebrows slanted upwards, lips parted slightly as she slept. How did she do it? How did she make everyone feel so safe, so at peace, when all of them knew all to well they weren’t? A stab of jealousy struck at her heart, and looking away, she laid back down, shutting her eyes. For a moment she lay in the silence, listening to the orchestra of soft breathing all around her.

And she hummed herself a lullaby.

Author's Note

For anyone who want's it, here's the full lullaby;

Lu lay, lu lay, the night and the day, times wheels keep turning.
Lu lay, lu lay, we’ll meet on the way, the sun continues burning
Lu lay, lu lay, the Wendigos bray, their breath as cold as night.
Lu lay, lu lay, we must away, for these wrongs can never be right.
In the bright of the day in the dark of the moon
Spread your wings, I’ll be their soon
Breath in the world and let the stars burn your lips
We’ll travel the world on sinking ships

Chapter Four; No Goodbyes

To the city, it was only another wave of refugees, another crowd of mouths to feed and broken hearts to litter the streets. But to them, it was a miracle.

Rainbow Dash watched with a hollow smile as the last clumps of the group walked down the streets, off to search for family, to find a place to sleep, to try and make a difference. Things were still far from okay, but at the very least, it was salvageable.

“I guess this is goodbye?”

Dash jumped in slight surprise, turning to glance back to Fluttershy. The small yellow pony was smiling, despite the dark shadows under her sad eyes. “What do you mean?” she asked, her tone coming off almost accusatory.

Fluttershy paused pulling back slightly at the sudden question. “Oh, well, you’re going to go register for the army, right? I mean, Cloudsdale is supposed to move out soon, at least, that’s what I heard, and I’ve volunteered to help with the effort here in the city. And I’m already a few days later than I told them I’d be,” she said, shuffling her hooves.

Pausing, Rainbow blinked, wilting slightly. “Oh. Right.” There was a moment of tense silence, and they stood on the corner of the sidewalk, glancing at each other. “You wouldn’t mind-you wouldn’t mind if I wrote you letters? See I-” Rainbow Dash grimaced, hating how awkward she was coming off. “I don’t have any family to write to. If not, I mean, it’s cool, just, yeah.”

The pastel yellow pony blinked in surprised, then smiled, nodding slightly. “I think I’d like someone to write letters to too.”

They waited a while longer in silence before getting everything in order, each hesitant to go back to facing what lay ahead on their own. But finally they managed to go their separate ways with an awkward goodbye.

Time passed faster than it had in a while, or maybe it simply felt that way after the seemingly endless trek to the city, but all the same, she hardly payed attention as she flew up over the city to the massive cloud where her home city loomed. Soon she was registered, assigned, and on her way to the barracks.

Hesitant, she landed on a small stray cloud next to the weather factory. In the warped metal walls of the factory, she could see her own reflection, and if it weren’t for the bright colors of her hair, she wondered if she would have recognized herself.

Her mane was cut short now, which was strange in and of itself. She’d worn it long as far back as she could remember, but it wouldn’t have been well-suited for what was to come. It was probably better short, so she wouldn’t have to worry about it getting in her eyes. Pausing, she turned, eyes tracing the curves of the pegasus division uniform. The blue-gray cloth was skintight, the armored torso, unbearably uncomfortable. She straightened, adjusting her posture. She looked the part of a solider.

But she didn’t feel like one. How was she supposed to protect her country when she couldn’t even protect one pony?

“Hey Soarin’ I was wondering-oh, wait,” an unfamiliar landed on the cloud next to Rainbow Dash, snickering. “Sorry, sorry, thought you were a guy I know! Geez I sure can be dense. You one of the new cadets?”

Rainbow shrugged, managing a grin in greeting. “Yeah. Hey, don’t sweat it, not the first time someone mistook me for a guy! The name’s Rainbow Dash, you?”

“Officer Lightning Dust, but everyone calls me Dusty. I’m captain of the seventh division Thunderheads,” she said with a bright grin. “We handle the weather based combat. You?”

“I think the stallion said I was signed up as a Striker, I wrote the division down somewhere,” Rainbow said, annoyed she’d forgotten. “That’s air to ground, right?”

“Yep,” Dusty said with a nod, shrugging. “Too bad we aren’t in the same division Rainbow Dash, you seem like you’d be fun to fight next to. You got started on training yet?”

They took off, flying in the direction of the stadium where everyone was being put up for the night while the barracks were reconstructed. “Not yet, only just got here today, actually. There was an accident with the train,” Rainbow admitted with a wince.

“I think I heard about that. Huh. Anyway, you’re in for a real treat,” Dusty said with a teasing grin. “We get up at four in the morning, eat mush, don’t go to bed until you feel ready to die, then do the same thing for what, nine months? Conditioning to make sure you’re battle ready is one thing, but I’m glad I’m done with that,” snorted the pegasi. “Word of advice, keep your head down, don’t argue. A couple instructors I know make you do night watch if you don’t listen, and nothing’s more miserable them sitting awake in a dark stinky room after training all day.”

“Thanks for the tip, but I think I can handle myself,” Rainbow said casually as they flew down into the open roof of the stadium. She shivered slightly as they passed through the magic field, static shock tingling through her. Ugh, maybe she had magic allergies.

Dusty smirked, raising a friendly eyebrow. “That’s what everyone says when they first show up. Me included. I don’t expect you to listen, but you really rather oughta.”

Chapter Five; Writing Home

“Everything is fine,” she wrote, trying to keep the sweat and blood from dripping onto the paper. “Cloudsale is still a week away from the main war zone, and they’ll be dropping me and the other cadets still in training off at a camp just south of the border.”

“Miss Dash, stop fidgeting,” interrupted the nurse, muttering swears under her breath as she adjusted the cloth. Rainbow hissed through her teeth as the bandage was pulled tight, pressing painfully against the gash in her back leg. “Oh don’t be a baby about it,” huffed the nurse as she tied it off, shaking her head. “It’s not even going to scar, and you’re going to get plenty of worse when you get to the real fighting.”

Lifting her head from the letter, Rainbow grimaced. “I’m just trying to push myself to do the best I can-”

“Yes, and accidents like these really prove your skill,” the nurse said, rolling her eyes. “You’re not to leave the building until tonight. Someone will bring you dinner,” she explained before leaving, still mumbling to herself.

Taking a deep breath, she ignored the stinging, looking back tiredly to the half-written letter. Picking up the quill, she crossed out her assertion that it was fine before starting again. “Everything is great here, really, I’m already pretty much a pro. But never mind me, okay? I’m gonna be some kind of war hero someday, you’ll see. A hero is always fine.

“But how about you? Have you been settling into Manehatten okay? Be careful. Just because there’s a war doesn’t mean all the thugs and muggers take a holiday. Sorry I haven’t read your letter yet. I’ve been busy.”

Busy. That was one way to describe it. At first she’d thought she’d slip in the time at night. But the night didn’t really work out. Too many dreams. Too many dark trains fallen on their sides. Too many one-eyed fillies in daddy’s coat, cold, sleeping, never waking up. Nothing she could do but dig a hole, keep digging, a hole to nowhere for no living soul.

She assured herself she’d get over it. Eventually.

“I haven’t made any friends yet, but it’s seriously not a problem. I didn’t draft to make friends, remember? Officer Lightning Dust—everyone calls her Dusty—she’s alright I guess, but I don’t think we’re exactly ‘friends.’ We’re in different divisions. She’s with the Thunderheads, who use the weather in battle. I’m with the air–to–ground Striker force. I looked up the division, finally. Fourth. Most the other ponies in my division have been fighting a while. They aren’t much fun.” There. That wouldn’t worry her too much, right?

“So things are fine here, really. I got to see Spitfire, you know, the Wonderbolt? I thought it would be so awesome to see her for the first time.

“But she was bringing back a dead teammate. I figured I probably shouldn’t bother her. The war’s been pretty hard on everyone. Write me soon, okay Fluttershy?” Pausing, she read through it again with a grimace. Hopefully that was enough to keep her from worrying. Finishing, she signed off the letter and set it aside, resting her chin on her hooves absently.

What kind of real soldier hurt themselves like this in training? A real soldier could protect ponies, keep them safe. A little bit of training wouldn’t be a problem. Maybe she wasn’t as cut out for this as she thought.

She glanced back to the door the nurse left through, her gaze steely and frustrated. She’d said not to leave the building, but she hadn’t said anything about walking around inside. Carefully maneuvering herself out of the bed, Dash slowly stretched her hind leg, wincing as she rotated it carefully. That nurse had been right. Accidents like this didn’t make her a better soldier. They made her a careless idiot. If she was careless in a real fight, that would mean the end, wouldn’t it?

Biting her lip to keep from crying out in pain, she began pacing past her bed, trying to pump the energy into her legs as best she could. She’d figure this out, eventually.

She would be a soldier to make her folks proud some day.

News Clipping; Seventy-Three Dead in Ambush, Survivors Wounded

Another great loss in the Crystal War! Last monday at three in the morning, an attack was made on a large training facility just south of the border, three weeks after Cloudsdale passed over. Seventy-three soldiers and cadets were slaughtered in the attach. Their bodies were paraded around the compound before being buried in a mass grave, a horrid sacrifice to the monstrous tyrant King Sombra. Rumors abound about torture or ponies taken prisoner, but there has been no official confirmation of these stories.

Only thirteen ponies survived the attack. Two, badly mauled and thought to be dead by the attacking army, managed to survive long enough to receive medical attention. The remaining eleven survived by hiding in the drawers of the facility’s morgue.

A statement was released by Fleetfoot, who trained cadets at the facility and was one of the survivors.

“I was woke up in the middle of the night by one of the cadets. I was going to yell at her, but she grabbed me by the throat. Once I was quiet, she warned me that on her way back from an early shower, she’d seen enemy soldiers coming out of one of the nearest barracks, covered in blood.

“Fighting back wasn’t an option [Commander Fleetfoot had seriously wounded her back leg, which was why she had been assigned to training duties] and I was woozy off pain medication. Cadet Rainbow Dash led me and nine other ponies out of the barracks. It was her idea that we hide in the morgue. Can’t go looking to kill what’s already dead, right? She wouldn’t let anyone fall behind. But they started coming closer. So instead of hiding, she ran off in another direction to lead them away. Her quick thinking and loyalty saved all our lives.”

Cadet Rainbow Dash also survived the attack, and was found lying in the electrical closet. Although seriously wounded, she managed to avoid capture. Due to the severity of her wounds, however, we were refused an interview.

There has been discussions of a promotion or reward to honor Cadet Dash’s service to her fellow ponies, but due to heavy invasion fronts to the west, any discussion was tabled for a later date.

The survivors of the attack are being reassigned with no further training. The military would like us to remind readers that the Crystal War is a threat to the happiness of all Equestria. Remember to do your part by joining the armed ranks, donating food drives, or coming out to the front lines to work as a nurse. Equestria needs you! (More on supporting the war effort, pg. 4)

Author's Note

Long time no update! Like, really long time! I wanted to add a few newsclippings/letters/files etcetera to add a little contrast to the rest of the POV. There will still be mostly chapters following Rainbow Dash in a traditional story format, but I wanted to include shorter bits like this as well

To Cadet Rainbow Dash of the Fourth Striker Division

Dear Rainbow Dash,

I read about what happened in the newspaper. Celestia knows when I saw that headline, I nearly had a heart attack. I was so scared something had happened to you. But instead, you ended up being the hero. Just like on the train. You’re really incredible.

I don’t know how you deal with it all. To be honest, I still have nightmares about the trainwreck. There was this pony who smashed into a steel rod when it happened. It blinded her. She was bleeding so much, and screaming, “I can’t see, I can’t see!” She wasn’t one of the ponies to survive to Manehatten. I have nightmares about her a lot.

Sometimes, when I wake up and open my eyes yet, I think I’ve become her. I think I’ve been blinded, and I’m bleeding, and dying. I was screaming, once, but the other ladies I room with got mad at me. I sleep with a rag in my mouth now, just in case I wake up screaming again.

I wish I knew how you dealt with it all.

My brother Zephyr Breeze came to Manehatten. I haven’t seen him in years. But he just showed up at the apartment one day, and told me he’d wanted to come see me one last time. He was conscripted into the army. I can’t remember the division. But if you meet him, please protect him for me. There’s no one else I trust so much as you.

I’m scared of what will happen to him. I’m scared of what will happen to you, too, I always have, but you’re brave. He’s cowardly, and lazy, and sometimes, a little stupid. I’m scared of losing anyone else.

In my last letter I mentioned that my parents died, and you asked if I wanted to talk about it. No, not really. My father was a front line nurse, and my mother was a cadet, early in the war. They both died, and so now I’m scared for you.

Okay, I’d done talking about that now.

In your last letter you joked about feeling as cramped as a can of sardines. I hope it’s not weird, but I included a can of sardines in the care package I’m sending with this letter. Sorry if it’s weird. I thought it might make you laugh.

The care package will also have a jar of apple cider (it might be a bit flat by the time you get it) a quilt I stitched at the donation effort, and the newest Daring Do book. You might have already read this one, though. They don’t come out very quickly because of the war.

It might not matter, though. I heard from Butter Daisy that the packages arrive later than letters do anyway, so you might not even have it yet.

Did you get enough training? The papers said that after the attack, the survivors would be sent off to their new assignments without further training. I worry you won’t be okay. I’m probably being silly, though. You’re so strong, you'll be fine. You have to be.

The paper also said you refused comment because you were badly wounded. If it was too bad, though, wouldn’t you have been sent home? I’m really worried about you. I think about you a lot more than I should. ~~I actually stitched my mane to a quilt by accident because I was so busy thinking about you.~~

~~I wanted to tell you because I hoped you’d think it’s funny, but now that it’s down on paper it sounds kind of weird.~~

Last letter you mentioned you’d send me a souvenir from every place you go. You were probably joking, but I know molting season is coming up soon, so could you send me one of your feathers? It would make me feel less worried to have it be around. But if you think it’s weird, you don’t have to send one. Sorry I asked. Just worried.

Please write back soon. Stay safe, and please don’t take any risks. ~~I can't lose you~~

~~Love~~
~~Thinking of you~~
Sincerely,

Fluttershy

Author's Note

A little peek at what Shy's been up to, and a bit more . . . ship fuel :yay:

Chapter Six; Eye of the Storm

Rainbow Dash adjusted her trajectory, trying to keep a closer formation with the other pegasi. Ahead of her, Fleetfoot yelled, “ETA THREE MINUTES! GET READY!”

Swallowing, Rainbow pulled her goggles down over her eyes, forcing herself to breath steady through her helmet’s gas filter. The landscape rolled past below, snowy and scarred with months of battle, but for the time being, serene. No, the conflict was some miles ahead.

She hadn’t been in an actual fight before. Her heart was pounding in her chest, her breath coming short and fast. She’d been excited for this, before. Before the train wreck, and the attack on the training camp. Before facing it all down. She wasn’t excited anymore.

She just wanted revenge.

Fleetfoot barely gave the command when Rainbow dived. She pinned her wings to her side, leaning into the wind, searching the battlefield as she fell. She locked her eyes on a pony in heavy crystal armor, swinging a thick staff. She twitched her feathers, redirecting her fall towards him, gritting her teeth.

Three feet before she hit the ground, she swerved, the tips of her wings just brushing against the snow. She through herself at the crystal pony, wrapping her hooves around him and rocketing into the air in one deft movement.

Rainbow hadn’t expected the pony to be so heavy. She grunted, straining her wings as she flew higher and higher, fighting back as the pony wrestled anxiously in her arms. She kept on flapping, flying as hard as she could, up and up, until they peaked the clouds, past the Thunderhead division.

Then, just like she’d trained for weeks on end, the dive, the tackle, and last, the drop.

She didn’t mean to. Once she was in the air, it finally hit her what she was doing. She was going to kill a pony. Sombra was controlling these ponies against their minds, forcing them to fight, bending their wills to suit him. She changed her mind. She didn’t want to do this anymore.

But the pony in her arms struggled too hard.

After seeing so many die at the hands of the crystal army, she was expecting some sort of satisfaction. Or at least to know that she was doing the right thing.

But instead she felt sick, staring at a crumpled blot of red in the snow, miles and miles beneath her. The ponies fighting below didn’t even notice one more body. They stepped over it and kept fighting, kept going, kept killing each other.

Rainbow tried not to vomit, but it was hard to hold it in.

She let herself have seven seconds. Three second to breath in. Four seconds to breath out. No time to accept the horror of what she had just done.

Shaking her head, she dived again, angling herself out of the path of a thrown spear. She couldn’t keep hold of her enemy this time; they slipped out of her grasp barely five feet off the ground.

She probably hadn’t been holding tight enough.

Her third time, she held tighter; she got another kill. Then another. Kill, kill, kill, miss, kill, miss, miss, kill, kill, kill.

It was easy. Why was it so easy? It shouldn’t be so easy to do something so awful? She pretended it was their fault. That they were letting her do these horrible things, making her do them, even. She knew they weren’t, but pretending, it made it just a little easier.

It got easier when she pretended.

It got easier when she didn’t watch them fall.

It got easier when she got her kill saving an ally.

Why was it so easy? Why was it so easy? Why was it so easy? It had been hard to hide in the morgue, to run for her life, to escape to the electrical closet with her ear torn. But this was not so hard.

As if led by some internal command, the crystal battalion turned and began to ran, fleeing the onslaught, overwhelmed by the surging of ponies. She couldn’t let them run. They’d recover, then head for another battle, killing more ponies, more allies. Fluttershy wanted her to keep her brother safe. She couldn’t let them get away.

She dived seven more times. She got six easy, clean kills. One after another, each time flying higher, each time diving faster. Rainbow screamed with each dive, biting back tears as she dodged arrows and spears, angry at them all for being such easy targets.

Her seventh dive was not so easy.

She was high. Not to cloud level, but high enough for a kill. She didn’t see it coming, just felt it split her skin, crack her bones.

The crossbow bolt tore through her head. The crystal soldier fell from her grasp, and though she remained aloft a few seconds later, Rainbow was falling too.

She was blind. Was this what it was like, being blind? Her vision was full of red, swimming, stinging. She choked, shaking as she fell, crying out weakly. “I c-can’t see,” she croaked, kicking wildly against the air rushing around her. “I can’t see.”

Thump.

She landed in a warm pair of hooves, nearly dropped. She could feel someone touching her eye, but she could only see the shadow in the red. “Cadet Rainbow Dash? Can you hear me? Cadet Dash, if you hear me, please give a sign.” She felt herself moving through the air, flying, but her wings hung limp.

Were Celestia’s angels carrying her away? No. No, they couldn’t, she had so much left to do. She needed to go home. She needed to see it one last time. She was breaking her promise to Fluttershy. She was going to let down Lightning Dust. “Please,” she croaked, moaning. “I can’t see, I can’t see.”

“Officer Lightning Dust!”

“Commander Fleetfoot, what—Oh Celestia! What happened to her? That’s a lot of blood. Is she—”

“She’s still alive, but she’s out of it, and she’s losing blood. You’re one of the fastest fliers. I need you to get her to the nearest medical tent.”

“Her eye—Oh Celestia, I can see bone—c’mere Dash, c’mon.”

The wind whistled around her. Rainbow blinked, squinting through the red, making out a flash of golden lightning, the sound of a soft, anxious voice. “You idiot, I can’t believe you. You shoulder have just let them retreat, you almost got yourself killed—Oh Celestia that’s a lot of blood, you’re so stupid.”

“Dusty?” Rainbow asked, leaning in close. “Dusty. . .is that you?”

“I—Rainbow? Hold it together Rainbow, keep it together, it’s only a few more miles. If you die on me who am I gonna brag to?” she asked, trying not to sob through the forced smile.

Rainbow leaned into Lightning Dust’s coat, breathing coarsely into her side. “Dusty. . . I think I’m in love with you.”

“Sh–shut up,” Lighting Dust said, her jaw quivering. “You barely know me, a–and you’ve lost a lot of blood, you don’t know what you’re talking about. R–right?”

She barely landed outside the medic tent before the nurses rushed Rainbow Dash inside. She was one of the worse off soldiers still breathing, so they hurried around her, yelling for bandages and disinfectant.

“Her mane’s in the way,” one of the nurses snapped. With a deft slash of a surgical knife, she cut Rainbow’s hair short, while another nurse tried to mop up the blood.

Taking a few hesitant steps, Lightning took off, making a sharp turn as she flew back towards her field, a strange pit weighing unevenly in her heart.

Author's Note

What's this? Trouble in ~~paradise~~ a miserable war zone? Is not the ship of this fic FlutterDash? Is Rainbow going to die four years before I said she would? Find out next time on. . . *drumroll* THIS FIC

Obituary

October seventeenth at approximately midnight, Lieutenant Rainbow Spectrum Dash suddenly passed away of an infection of old wounds, according to the official report.

Equestria will always honor her service to her country as Wonderbolt captain and her dedicated improvement of the EUP. For her four years of loyal military service and fearless leadership at the decisive Battle of Mule’s Creek, there has been consideration of posthumously honoring her with the Celestial Medal.

She is remembered through her family, friends, and fellow soldiers still fighting in the war. Our condolences go out to the Wonderbolts, her fiancé Fluttershy, and her two year old twins, Down Draft and Storm Splitter Dash.

A public funeral is to be held on the eve of Nightmare Night, at Halter Cemetery. As a show of respect, is is requested each attendee bring something to donate to the war effort.

Rest in peace Lieutenant Dash.