Of Symbols and Ciphers

by Joker the Hedgehog

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Anthro, Dark
Length: 18491

Jason Edwards is Displaced on his deathbed as a human version of the mischievous dream demon Bill Cipher. How will Discord take to a challenger for his title of the "King of Chaos"? And more importantly, will Equestria survive?

Main Theme: It's Gonna Get Weird
Jason Edwards was going to die, here in this hospital bed, of Mercer's Syndrome, there was just no other way around it. But, just as he was about to bite the dust, a mysterious man offers him and his wife, Jacqueline, a new lease on life. Accepting this offer, Jason is Displaced as a human version of the mischievous dream demon Bill Cipher. Join Bill as he goes on adventures with the Mane 6, faces down Discord for the title of "Master of Chaos," and protects his new home from sinister forces from varying versions of the Nightmare Realm all while searching for his wife.

Set in PyraFlare's Nightmare-verse continuity. Contains Sparity and Fluttercord.

Co-Written with PyraFlare

Featured on 1-13-16. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-03-10 22:53:06 UTC

Welcome To Ponyville

Inside a small hut in the middle of the Everfree Forest, a female zebra wearing a set of dirt brown robes along with various bits of jewelry was putting together a potion of some kind in a large cauldron. This was Zecora, and she was the only one brave enough to live in this strange forest.

As Zecora continued to work on her potion, adding more ingredients to the mixture, someone knocked on her door.

“I will be with you soon, first I must add the Essence of Moon,” said Zecora, adding the contents of a small, dark blue vial to her mixture before she made her way over to her door and opened it. There, she was greeted by the sight of Princess Twilight Sparkle, her friends, and…

At the sight of Bill Cipher, Zecora cried out as she fell backwards onto her ass and began to scoot herself away from the yellow and black clad being until she hit the far wall of her hut.

“Have you all gone mad?! What you’ve unleashed will bring results far beyond bad!” said Zecora, terror evident in her voice.

The six ponies and dragon all gave Bill looks, to which he just shrugged. “Zecora, what are you talking about?” Princess Twilight asked the zebra on the floor, although she had a pretty good idea what the zebra meant.

“That being in yellow is no ordinary fellow! He is Bill Cipher! A sinister trickster and devious monster!”

“Aww, c’mon that's a little unfair dontcha think? I haven't done anything to hurt anyone *cough* yet *cough* so there's no need to be afraid.” Bill said as he moved his head to avoid a small empty bottle thrown at him.

“You are never one to fulfill your promise. How do I know that you are being honest?” The zebra asked with hostility.

“Look, I'm gonna be serious here for a moment, all I want is the location of my wife's temple then I'll be gone.” Bill floated down to Zecora. “That's all, I have no interest in you or these ponies, all I want is my wife.” His voice was now demanding. “I know you know the location of her temple, it's the only thing I don't know, so tell me where it is and I'll leave.”

Zecora took a moment to think. “I do indeed know the location of the house. You really only want the location of your spouse?”

“Yes,” said Bill, seriousness in his voice, “There is nothing more valuable to me in the multiverse than her.”

Zecora sighed. “Very well, I will tell you where your wife dwells,” she said, getting up off the floor and making her way over to the cauldron and adding a few more ingredients to the mixture, causing an image of a large temple and six keys of some kind to appear.

“Your wife lies within those stone walls, the keys however I do not recall. The temple is north of the mountain of Canterlot, although guarded by a demon-like juggernaut.” And image of a huge being made of dark purple mist was shown in front of the temple, it's glowing yellow eyes staring off into the distance.

Bill nodded in understanding. “Thank you, Zecora,” he said, floating out of the hut.

Twilight and her friends just stared at him as he left, then turned their attention to Zecora. “What's with him? When we met he was like Discord with a dash of Pinkie Pie, now he's calm and determined.”

Zecora sighed. “Love can do many things to a creature, even demons it seems have soft inner features.”

Rainbow Dash pushed through the group. “Wait a second, you mean that there is another one of him out there?” She asked in slight panic.

Zecora shook her head. “There is indeed another being off in the distance, but you would be a fool to not notice the difference.”

Twilight pushed Rainbow back and turned to Zecora. “How do you know so much about them?”

“Stories of my homeland with traditional tales, of a lone demon in search of his female. However, among them there is a cautionary tale that warns of the male,” said Zecora, using her fingers to make a triangle over her left eye. “‘When Gravity Falls and the Earth becomes the Sky, beware the beast with just one eye.’”

Twilight and the others gulped and looked amongst themselves in fear of what that Bill character might do to not just Equestria, but the entire WORLD if somepony didn’t keep an eye on him.

Twilight turned to face her friends. “Well, girls, I think we know what we have to do,” she said, her voice full of confidence.

“And… that is?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“We have to go after Bill and help him find his wife. But, more importantly, we have to keep him from destroying the entire world if it comes down to that,” said Twilight, earning nervous looks from her friends. “Oh, come on, girls. He’s no different than Discord when push comes to shove. We can handle him, I know we can.”

“I wish what you say was true, but an assumption like that you will rue,” said Zecora, shaking her head. “Bill Cipher may act similar to the Chaos God, true, but his power is far greater than him, the Canterlot Royalty, or any of you. And what’s more, keeping him in line will be no easy chore. Bill is not known for his meekness. He only has one true weakness.”

“And, what, pray tell is that flying fashion disaster’s weakness? We’ll need to know it if we’re going to be able to rein him in.” said Rarity, to which the others nodded in agreement.

“I’m afraid the knowledge is not mine. Bill’s weakness has been forever lost to time,” replied Zecora, resulting in a facepalm from the six ponies and the dragon present.

“Well, we may not know what Bill’s weakness is, but I suppose if all else fails we can just get the Elements of Harmony from the Tree and use them against him,” said Twilight, to which the others nodded in agreement. “Now, then, I suppose we should go find him before he destroys a small country or something.”

After saying their goodbyes to Zecora, the six ponies and their dragon assistant headed out for Ponyville in search of Bill Cipher.

…

So, this Ponyville, thought Bill as he floated through the town, twirling his cane as he checked out the scenery. Very quaint and peaceful, actually. Boy, is THAT gonna change once I-

Bill stopped in mid-thought, having started to pick up chatter from the townsfolk via his telepathy… and it was all about HIM.

What is that big yellow and black creature?

How’s that thing flying without wings?

Is it dangerous?

Let’s follow it!

MUFFINS!

As the chatter inside Bill’s mind began to increase, so did the number of curious ponies that were following him, until, finally, he had at least two herds of whispering two-legged Unicorns, Earth Ponies, and Pegasi following him.

Well, it’d be rude just to ignore them, so I guess I’d better introduce myself! thought Bill before his entire head turned a full 180 degrees to face the crowd following him, causing a few ponies to jump and cry out.

“Hey, everypony! My name’s Bill Cipher, dream demon extraordinaire and Master of The Mind!” Bill said. He turned his body around tipped his hat to them. “Now! I'm sure you're all wondering what I am and what I'm doing here. Well I'm just looking for a place to build my home while I look for something. Don't worry I'm not here to hurt any of you, I may pull the occasional prank now and then but mostly I'll just try and liven things up around here, starting with,” Bill put a finger to his chin in thought, “oh I know!”

He snapped his fingers and the children in the crowd floated into the air. Everyone gasped and glared at the dream demon.

“Give it a second.”

The children started to float about on their own, laughing and smiling as they flew. The townsfolk calmed down and smiled as their children played in the sky. “See? I'm just here to bring a little bit of fun into your lives. Don't think I left all of you out.” With a snap of his fingers all of the grown ups were placed in bouncy castles. A few of them looked unsure, but one decided to have a little bounce and smiled as they relived some childhood memories.

Soon the rest began bouncing and a smile was on every face.

There, that should put me on their good side for now. Looking around he nodded in satisfaction.

“Hey Bill!” The mane six and Spike had caught up to him and looked around in confusion. “What's going on here?” Twilight asked as she looked around. Bill slowly rose up from the ground behind the group and wrapped an arm around Twilight's shoulder, causing the mare to jump at his sudden appearance.

“Oh I was just floating around when I noticed that things were a bit boring around here, so I decided to give the ponies here a little bit of fun. Looks to me like it's working.” Bill floated up to the front of the group and twirled his cane. “So, what do you lovely ladies and dragon want to do first?”

Twilight looked at him cautiously. “Why don't we show you around?”

“Nah that won't do, I know almost everything, including the layout of the town.”

Twilight then thought for a moment. “How about I show you the ruins of Golden Oaks Library?” Bill shrugged and motioned for the group to take the lead. Smiling at the townsfolk one last time he followed Twilight and company onward.

…

Meanwhile

Deep inside a forest far from Ponyville there lay a small purple sphere, giving off a dark aura.

As the sun moved to a position where it was no longer shining down on the orb, it began to crack and deep a dark purple mist. The orb disappeared and what was left was a small cloud of the dark mist that began to form the shape of a body. As the body was completed four tendrils grew out of its back. It's eyes were lifeless yellow circles that glowed in the darkness.

Everything in that area of the forest started to turn black and grey, the small plants on the forest floor dying as the darkness spread. “Finally… a world far beyond the reaches of my destroyer.” The creature began to trudge forward with its back slouched, it's arms dangling. “Now… how should I go about destroying this place?”

Messing With The Mind

“Wow. When Tirek wants to blow something up, he doesn’t hold back,” said Bill as he, Twilight, and Spike stood before the charred tree stump that had once been the Golden Oaks Library.

“You can say that again,” said Spike.

Bill examined the tree stump. “You know something, though? This looks like the perfect place for me to set up my new castle!” he said.

“What?!” cried Spike and Twilight in shock and surprise.

“What? You’re not jealous that you won’t be the only one with a super-cool castle anymore, are you?” asked Bill in a teasing sort of manner. “Besides, if I’m going to run around this country willy-nilly looking for the keys to my wife’s temple, I’m gonna need a place to crash in the meantime. Now, let’s get rid of that problem area.”

Before Twilight or Spike could say anything against him, Bill snapped his fingers, causing the ruins of the library to disintegrate into sawdust and get blown away by the wind.

“And now for the potentially destructive part. You two might want to find a relatively sturdy structure. There’s no telling what could happen with the tectonic plates underneath the town considering what’s about to happen,” Bill told the stunned dragon and alicorn before he snapped his fingers again.

Almost instantly, the Earth began to shake and rumble as a gigantic black pyramid erupted from the ground. Before long, it stood higher than any building in Ponyville, including Twilight’s own castle. Finally, once the castle had reached its full height, a small mailbox labeled 618 popped up from the ground not far from the large front door.

“Well, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” asked Bill, looking up at his handiwork.

“How… wha…?” stammered Twilight as she and her assistant stared at the black pyramid before them in shock.

“Well, now that my castle’s built, I think I’ll go and get myself moved in! See you in your dreams!” said Bill, tipping his hat before he flew through the wall of his castle, leaving a hole shaped like him for all of five seconds before the castle fixed itself, leaving the dumbfounded Twilight and Spike behind.

“Spike?” said Twilight, still staring at the pyramid before her in shock.

“Yes, Twilight?” said Spike.

“Make sure I keep Discord and Bill far, far away from each other. I have a funny feeling that Equestria won’t survive if those two come into contact with each other.”

“The feeling’s mutual, Twilight… the feeling’s mutual.”

…

Later that evening, Bill was lounging on his throne, playing Gravity Falls: Legend of the Gnome Gemulets on his custom yellow-and-black Nintendo 3DS XL.

“Ooh, plot twist,” muttered Bill as he continued to play his video game.

“Having fun, Cipher?”

Bill stopped as he heard a young voice come from behind him. Turning his head around he saw a young boy standing there. He looked about twelve years old. He had slick black hair, he wore a butler's outfit and his eyes had reptilian slits for pupils with no irises. “Who the heck are you? How'd you get in here?”

The body chuckled and gave a polite bow. “My name is Symph, son of Symbol Shattered and personal agent of Roden Godswell, at your service.” He straightened himself. “As for how I got in here, that would be Rodens doing.”

‘Roden? Haven't seen him since the hospital.’ Bill floated out of his throne and shook the boy's hand. “Well it's a pleasure to meet ya Symph, so old man Roden sent you huh? How's old green doing these days?”

“He's doing fine, he's just a little busy nowadays with a few of his other displaced, my father is his apprentice so that's taken a lot of his time.”

Bill nodded and floated down to the ground. “So what does Green want you to do here exactly?”

“Master Roden sent me here to assist you, be a sidekick of sorts while you search for Miss Jacqueline.”

Bill scratched his chin in thought. “I don't know, what can ya do?”

Symph smirked and his body became all black, the White of his eyes glowing. His fingers shaped into claws and he grew four black tendrils out of his back, his hair also became spiked. “A little something passed down from my father.”

Bill smiled wickedly and summoned a group of Timberwolves. “I'm feeling a little bored, see if you can destroy those things.” Bill floated in the air and summoned a bucket of tooth shaped popcorn.

Symph glared at the wolves before disappearing. He appeared beside a wolf and swiped a claw at it, leaving a white scrape Mark in the air and slicing the wolf. He turned to a charging wolf and shot a tendril into it, smashing it to pieces.

A wolf jumped him and clamped its jaw onto his torso. Symph grunted and punched it, shattering it into splinters. As he stared down the last two wolves he opened his hands and summoned a white fireball in each palm. Within seconds the wolves were devastated by two magical blasts.

Bill clapped his hands in approval. “Oh yes, this I can use!”

Symph returned to his normal self and dusted off his outfit. “Well, that was a nice little exercise.” He looked down to the bite mark on his torso, multiple tiny holes in his skin that were filled with a black liquid that repaired his flesh.

Bill noticed this and raised a brow. “What are you exactly? You definitely aren't human.”

Symph smiled. “I am indeed no human, nor am I a displaced. I am a Symbiote, my father created me while researching the creation of other Symbiotes. My body is made of black liquid and I can merge with another being's body to regain strength and give that person a power boost if need be.”

“Sounds to me like you are gonna make a great sidekick.” Bill looked around and frowned. “Nothing to do, c’mon Symph, let's go mess with these ponies in their dreams.” Symph rolled his eyes and his body became black, he collapsed into a puddle of black liquid that jumped onto Bill and faded into his body.

‘Try not to cause too much havoc Cipher, we don't need to be on the Princess's bad side this early on.’ Bill could hear Symph inside his head.

“Fine fine, doesn't mean I'm not gonna cause a bit of chaos though.”

…

Spike stood on a rocky cliff overlooking the ocean, the dragon himself looking grand and triumphant in battle armor with a sword at his waist and a red cape fluttering in the breeze behind him. He finally had everything he’d ever wanted; respect, glory, and most importantly, his parents and the girl of his dreams, Rarity Belle, who was clad in her own battle armor and who he was now holding in his arms.

“You’re my hero, Spikey-Wikey,” she whispered to him with her eyes closed, apparently listening to her lover’s heartbeat.

“We’re so proud of you, son,” a gruff voice said from nearby.

Spike looked over his shoulder to see a red dragon with green spines like Spike’s and a soft blue dragoness with Spike’s eyes were standing right behind him, pride evident on their faces.

Suddenly, time stopped completely. Confused, Spike looked around, trying to figure out what was going on. He didn’t have to wait long, however, before an all too familiar voice rang out.

“Ugh, this dream makes me want to puke up my new sidekick. Why must there always be a happy ending?”

“Where are you, Bill?” asked Spike.

“Down here.”

Spike looked down at Rarity, only to find Bill there instead, which needless to say, scared the crap out of him and sent him sprawling to the ground as the dream changed around him into a black void.

“H-how did you get in here? How did you get into my dreams?” demanded Spike.

“Haven’t you been paying attention to the story, Spike? I’m a dream demon, the Master of The Mind. Getting into people’s dreams is what I do,” explained Bill. “And you know what else I do when I’m in people’s dreams, Spikey-Wikey? I MAKE THEM NIGHTMARES!”

With wave of his black-clawed hands, Bill turned the black void into Spike’s worst nightmare. Gone were his parents, battle armor, and physique, and instead he wore his normal clothes. It was suddenly the middle of the night during a powerful thunderstorm. Spike’s belongings were piled up outside the front door of Twilight’s castle, where Princess Twilight herself stood.

“...you don’t know how painful this is for me, Spike, to have to fire you and kick you out of the house,” said Twilight, her eyes shut in determination. “But, ever since Bill Cipher rolled into town, he’s been so much more enjoyable to be around. And well, he needed a job, so I gave him yours.”

“Wh-what?! Twilight, please, don’t!” begged Spike.

Bill walked up beside Twilight, snapped his fingers and made a cup of tea appear. “More tea, Miss?” asked Bill, casting Spike a wicked grin that Twilight didn’t seem to notice.

“No, thank you, Bill, I’m fine,” said Twilight.

“As you wish, your majesty,” said Bill before he entered the castle.

“My point is, Bill’s just so much more useful than you are, and plus I don’t have to feed him and take care of him. I’m sure you’ll understand what I mean. Good-bye, Spike.”

And with that, Twilight turned on her heel and returned to the castle, locking the door behind her. Spike ran towards the door and started banging on it. “No, Twilight, please, don’t do this! I don’t know what I did wrong, but I promise you I’ll do anything to make it right! Twilight, please don’t leave me!” cried Spike, finally falling to his knees.

“I need you…”

…

Three Hours and Five Nightmares Later…

Princess Twilight was sitting in a vast library, reading a mountain of books in hopes of finding something that would help them keep Bill under control, but so far she had found nothing that would help… at all.

“Princess Twilight, are you all right?”

Twilight turned around to find a tall, dark blue alicorn with a shimmering dark blue mane and tail wearing full combat armor with a fluttering blue cape behind her.

“Princess Luna? What are you doing here?” asked Twilight, noticing the concerned look on the elder alicorn’s face.

“We’ve sensed someone or something very powerful running loose, turning your friends dreams into nightmares, forcing them to experience their deepest, darkest fears while they sleep. They may come after you next,” explained Luna. “In all my life I’ve never heard of a being powerful enough to actually manipulate the mindscape in such a way. I may be able to enter the dreams of ponies, but I can’t actually alter them.”

“You can’t… but I can.”

Luna and Twilight looked behind them to find Bill walking down a nearby staircase, a smug look on his face.

“Nice subconscious you have here, Twilight,” said Bill. “Very fitting for a nerd such as yourself.”

Luna drew her rapier and aimed it directly at Bill’s chest. “Who or what are you?” she demanded to know of the strange creature before her.

“Oh, forgive me, Princess Luna, where are my manners? Name’s Bill Cipher, dream demon extraordinaire and the undisputed Master of The Mind,” said Bill, tipping his hat to the Lunar Princess, and as a result, caused the entire world of the dream to turn sideways and caused a lot of books to fall on top of the two Princesses, burying them. While Luna managed to pull herself out of the book pile, Twilight on the other hand was a little dazed and confused as her head poked out of the pile.

Luna again aimed her rapier at Bill. “I suggest you leave this dream immediately, unless you want to be forced out in pieces,” she threatened the man in yellow, who merely chuckled.

“You really think you can defeat me? I’m the Master of The Mind. I can predict your first move before you even-URK!” said Bill as Luna impaled him on her sword.

YEOWCH! Watch the swords, there, Bill! I told you not to get on the Princesses’ bad side! yelled Symph inside Bill’s mind.

Well, too late for that, Bill replied in his mind before he spoke aloud. “Oh, will you look at that? I’ve been impaled… AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA! PAIN IS HILARIOUS!” he laughed causing a look of concern to cross Princess Luna’s face for a brief moment. “In any case, it is so on!”

And on that note, Bill’s cane turned into a gleaming black katana, which he aimed at Princess Luna, who used her magic to pull her sword out of Bill, leaving a hole in his chest that quickly healed itself, leaving only the small patch of blood and the hole in Bill’s suit.

“Shall we dance, your highness?” sneered Bill as he and Luna glared into  each other’s eyes.

“Gladly,” said Luna, making the first move and swinging her rapier at Bill, a blow he almost casually blocked. Backward and forward the two immortals dueled, neither one of them gaining an edge over the other, all while Princess Twilight watched in awe.

“Time to change things up a bit!” said Bill, snapping his fingers with his free hand and summoning two duplicates of himself as he ran up the library. “Let’s see how you deal with multiple foes, Lunie!”

“Don’t you dare call that!” snarled Luna as she began to fight the doubles while Bill watched in amusement. Lucky for Luna, the doubles weren’t nearly as skilled as the original and went down fairly quickly. Once the last duplicate vanished in a puff of smoke, Bill started to get concerned as he began to sense the raw power coming from Luna.

Run! Damn it, Bill run! urged Symph as Luna advanced on Bill and swung her sword again, cutting deeply across Bill’s chest, a wound which quickly healed itself. Luna then used a spell called the “Sword’s Dance Spell” which caused at least seven swords to appear out of thin air. With a point from Luna’s rapier, the swords launched themselves at Bill, each on finding its mark, causing Bill to fall onto his knees.

And yet, Bill Cipher was somehow still alive, although Symph had certainly seen better days.

Oh, why did I let myself become your sidekick? the symbiote groaned.

Because Roden told you to. In any case, I think I’ve had my fun for now, said Bill.

Thank God!

With that, the bloodied man in yellow snapped his fingers, causing the swords, Bill’s injuries, the damage to his suit, and even the library itself to vanish, leaving behind nothing but himself, Luna, Twilight, and a white void.

“I’m impressed with your skills in swordplay, Luna. You might actually come in useful later. But, for now, I think I’ll take my leave,” said Bill a shimmering white glow surrounding him. “Remember: reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, BYE!!!”

And, in a flash of white light, Bill disappeared.

“That was amazing, Princess Luna,” said Twilight.

“Thank you, Twilight Sparkle. Hopefully this is the last we’ll see of that Bill Cipher character,” said Luna, sheathing her sword.

“Actually, Luna, I kind of doubt that… he’s just set up his own castle on top of the ruins of the Golden Oak Library in Ponyville.

“WHAT?!”

Twilight began to explain what had happened earlier that day. As she finished, Luna grabbed Twilight by the shoulders.

“Listen to me very carefully, Twilight Sparkle. You MUST find out what Bill Cipher’s weakness is. And until you do, do not let him out of your sight. Do you understand?” said Luna.

“Yes,” said Twilight.

“Good. I will return to Canterlot and alert my sister to Bill’s presence. In the meantime, Twilight… sweet dreams.”

And with that, Luna vanished into thin air.

Meeting Princess Celestia

The following morning, we find Twilight Sparkle sitting at the breakfast table with her five very exhausted friends and her faithful dragon assistant, talking about the nightmares that had transpired the night before.

“I simply can’t get over what that awful Bill Cipher creature did inside my mind! Making my worst fears come to life! Such horrific fashions! And to make matters worse, he made S… no, never mind,” said Rarity, rubbing the circles under her eyes.

“It was so mean of him to jump out of a bush and yell ‘Boo!’ like that!” said Fluttershy.

“I never thought I’d live to see the day that cake would be outlawed and replaced with tofu! TOFU!!!” yelled Pinkie.

“And Ah can’t believe he’d force me into takin’ the blame for the whole of Sweet Apple Acres gettin’ wiped out in a fire!” said Applejack

Rainbow scoffed. “Well, I feel sorry for you girls. When Bill tried to mess with my head, nothing he did worked, because I fear nothing!”

“Oh, really? You’re not afraid that you’ll lose your ability to fly and therefore never get the chance to become a Wonderbolt like you’ve been dreaming about since you were six?”

The gathered ponies turned around to find Bill Cipher standing, or rather, floating, right behind them.

Rarity and Twilight both charged up their horns while Rainbow and Applejack got ready to charge and Pinkie pulled out her party cannon from seemingly nowhere. Fluttershy and Spike, on the other hand simply decided to run and hide.

“What are you doing here, Cipher?” demanded Twilight.

“You girls seriously still aren’t sore about last night, are you? I was just having a little bit of fun! Although, the whole sword through the chest thing was admittedly not fun at all,” said Bill defensively.

“Hate to break it to ya, Bill, but our definitions of ‘fun’ are two totally different things,” said Rainbow.

“Potato. po-ta-to,” said Bill dismissively as he sat down on a nearby counter. “In any case, I suggest you seven hurry it up if we’re going to catch the train to Canterlot so I can properly introduce myself to Princess Celestia and figure out where those keys to my wife’s temple are.”

“Hold on a gosh-darn minute. If yer all-powerful like ya say ya’ll are, then why can’t ya just teleport us to Canterlot?” asked Applejack, raising her eyebrow as she spoke.

“Well, first off, just teleporting into someone else throne room unannounced is just plain rude, even by my standards. Secondly, the script says we’re supposed to take the train, so therefore, we’re taking the train,” said Bill matter-of-factly.

The Mane 6 and Spike all stared at Bill, having no idea what he was babbling about.

Finally, Twilight spoke. “Well, if you REALLY want to take the train, then I guess there’s really no harm in doing it. But, I’m warning you, Bill,” Twilight said sternly, giving Bill a piercing glare. “If you so much as THINK about doing anything on or to the train, so help me Faust I’ll see to it that you’re turned to stone faster than you can say ‘oops.’”

“Yeah, sure, whatever, so I suggest you finish up here and meet me at the station. I, meanwhile, have to round up my new sidekick. Laters!” said Bill, before he flew out of the castle through an open window, leaving the six mares and drake behind.

“Forgive me if I heard wrong, but did Bill just say that he had a sidekick?” asked Rarity.

“Ugh, like having to put up with him AND Discord wasn’t going to be enough of a nightmare!” groaned Rainbow.

“That doesn’t matter right now. We need to get ready to go to Canterlot and make sure Bill doesn’t destroy the town,” said Twilight.

The others nodded in agreement, before cleaning up their breakfast mess and getting ready to journey to Canterlot.

…

“...and this Bill Cipher character has the power to warp other ponies dreams to his will, making the victims dream of their worst fears,” Luna explained to her sister, Princess Celestia, who was a white alicorn with a sky blue, pink, and light green mane and tail wearing a small tiara, an elegant dress made of what appeared to be golden silk, and matching heels.

Celestia frowned in thought. “This Bill Cipher creature sounds like he could be trouble, to say the least… from what you have told me, little sister, he sounds like Discord with drastically amplified powers that may even exceed ours combined, or perhaps ours plus Twilight and Cadence’s combined. And to think that his weakness is completely unknown…Discord has several weaknesses, and even we immortal alicorns aren’t completely invulnerable,”

“Oh, don’t you worry, Princess. Bill Cipher has not just one, but TWO weaknesses. As much as he likes to pretend to, he isn’t invincible, even with a physical form.”

Celestia and Luna looked over to the castle door to find a man clad entirely in green and a metal sash with matching hair stylized in the fashion of Vegeta's from the Dragonball anime standing there.

“And who might you be?” Celestia asked in a hostile tone.

Roden registered her voice and started emitting a calming aura. The two sisters settled down, most of their hostility gone as the magic aura calmed their nerves. “I can assure you I am a friend. My name is Roden Godswell, pleasure to meet you Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.”

The two sisters looked to each other and smiled. “It is very nice to meet you too Roden. Now, what were you saying about Bill and his weaknesses?”

Roden shook his head. “He does indeed have two weaknesses, however I am unable to give you that information and I have taken steps to insure that those weaknesses are to never be called upon.”

Celestia's smile faltered. “And what would these steps be exactly?”

“I have brought one of my agents here to keep Bill under control and to make sure that he doesn't hurt anyone, however it is highly unlikely that Bill will actually try to hurt someone on purpose unless provoked.”

“Then how come he attempted to strike at me while I was in Princess Twilight Sparkle’s dream last night?” asked Princess Luna.

“Bill is a lot like Discord is most respects, in that they have a deep enjoyment of chaos and mayhem. So, odds are his antics within the dreams of the Mane 6 and Spike were merely games,” explained Roden. “In any case, my agent informs me that he’s currently on his way here, to ask if either of you know anything about the keys to the nearby temple where his wife is currently entombed.”

Celestia and Luna looked at each other. “You mean the old ruins with that big door with six locks on it?” Celestia asked.

“My sister and I have always sensed a great power behind that door. But, of course, without the keys, we were unable to investigate it,” explained Luna.

“The very same. My suggestion is that you direct Bill and the Elements of Harmony over to the temple. They should be able to figure out where to go from there,” said Roden. “Well, I must be off. When you’re someone like me, keeping tabs on everyone whose consciousness you and your friends have transferred into the bodies of fictional characters and teaching the future saviour of the multiverse tends to keep you busy. Farewell for now, your highnesses.”

And with that and a bow, Roden disappeared into thin air, a faint ripple in his wake.

…

Meanwhile, on the train to Canterlot, Rainbow, Twilight, Fluttershy, Pinkie, Applejack, and Bill all sat together, discussing their plans for when they arrived in Canterlot in a few hours, while Symph sat quietly looking out the window and Rarity and Spike sat in their seats, shifting uncomfortably and glancing at each other as though both of them were afraid to speak to each other.

“Remember Bill, be on your best behavior, or else we’ll have to use the Elements of Harmony against you, and you won’t like how that turns out,” warned Twilight.

Bill laughed. “You really think those rocks can defeat me, don’t you Twilight?” he said, before he shrugged. “Eh, I guess I’ll indulge the fantasy for a while. And speaking of fantasies… the ones running through Spike and Rarity’s minds right now are really quite… interesting.”

Applejack narrowed her eyes and glared at Bill. “Okay, Cipher, what’re ya goin’ on ‘bout now?” she asked, suspicion in her voice.

Bill grinned his devious grin at the five ponies. “Well… you know how Spike’s so deeply in love with Rarity that he even went and made a plushie of her? Which, I might add isn’t creepy or stalker like AT ALL,” Bill said, sarcasm evident in his voice. “I mean, look at me, I’m a major league cuckoo clock and you don’t see me snuggling up to a plushie version of my wife. Not that it’d matter since I only sleep a week every 618 years-”

“Get on with it, Bill!” yelled Rainbow Dash impatiently.

“All right, all right,” said Bill, snapping his fingers, casting a spell to prevent Rarity and Spike from overhearing them talk. “Riddle me this, my little ponies: what if I told you that Rarity has the hots for Spike almost as much as he has the hots for her?”

“WHAT?!” yelled Pinkie as the other four ponies raised their eyebrows in doubt.

“An’ where would ya’ll go and get an idea like that?” asked Applejack.

“Exhibit A: just look at them,” said Bill pointing up to where Spike and Rarity were still sweating and squirming with anxiety. “Either they’re trying to see who can hold off going to the bathroom the longest or they’re too afraid to speak to each other without embarrassing themselves.”

“Uh-huh…” said the five ponies listening to Bill, who could easily tell they still didn’t believe him.

“Exhibit B,” said Bill snapping his fingers.

With a weird whooshing sound, the five ponies and Bill found themselves in a grayscale version of Rarity’s bedroom.

“What is this place? Where have you taken us?” demanded Twilight.

“I physically didn’t take you anywhere. Your minds, however, I brought here to Rarity’s bedroom, hence why everything looks like something out of an old movie,” explained Bill, who then started looking around for something. “Where did she put that… ah! There it is!”

Bill snapped his fingers again, and out from under the bed came a small safe with a combination lock.

“Let’s see here… 11...14...95. Huh, weird, that’s Joker the Hedgehog’s birthday,” muttered Bill as he punched in the combination and the safe door creaked opened.

Inside the safe were numerous love letters addressed to Spike, drawings of Rarity and Spike wearing wedding attire, and even a well-crafted Spike plushie.

“Need anymore proof?” asked Bill before he snapped his fingers again, returning everyone to the train, where the ponies faces expressed shock and surprise.

“I know what I must do,” Pinkie said, a look of determination on her face.

“And what’s that?” asked Twilight.

“It’s up to me to get Spike and Rarity together, and I don’t care how many parties or set-ups it takes! For nothing is stronger than the power of-”

“Love?” asked Applejack.

“... Pinkie Pie,” said Pinkie.

“Well, whatever it is you’re planning, it’ll have to wait until after we get our information from the Princesses, seeing as we’ve arrived at Canterlot Station,” said Bill as the train creaked to stop.

…

At Canterlot Castle, Princess Celestia and Princess Luna sat on their side by side thrones, anticipating the arrival of Princess Twilight,  her friends, and that Bill Cipher character that being in green had told them about.

Finally, a guard pony came running into the throne room. “Your majesties! Princess Twilight, her Council of Friendship, and two strange beings in suits have arrived and wish to speak to you,” he said.

Luna and Celestia glanced at each other. “Send them in,” said Celestia.

The guard bowed and left to do his princess’s bidding. A moment later, Princess Twilight, her friends, Symph, and Bill entered the throne room.

“Hello, your majesties! Name’s Bill Cipher!” said Bill, taking a bow and taking off his top hat, thus causing the whole of Canterlot to tilt sideways as though the planet had fallen over, causing the Elements of Harmony to knock each other to the ground and causing Celestia to plow into Luna, knocking both of them out of their thrones, as well as causing wanton property damage to the castle and city beyond it. Symph just stuck to the floor with normal gravity and a slightly amused expression on his face.

“Whoopsies. Sorry, that tends to happen whenever I take my hat off,” said Bill, straightening up and putting his hat back on, setting the world right again as his cane appeared in his hand, which he began to twirl. “Anyways, I had a couple of questions I wanted to ask you two about the location of the keys that unlock the temple my wife is in.”

Celestia didn’t answer Bill right away. All she could do was stare at him in pure shock and disbelief at what he’d just done. She was going to need a strong drink after this was over. Finally, after a moment, she spoke. “Uh, y-yes, we were told by a being who was completely dressed in green that you’d be coming this way,” she said, disentangling herself from Luna.

Bill smiled. He knew that description anywhere. “And… what exactly did ol’ Rodey say to tell me?” he asked the Princesses.

“He told us to tell you to go to your wife’s temple from here, and that you’d be able to figure out where to go from there. The temple is due north from here, smack in the middle of the mountain range,” said Celestia.

Bill frowned. He’d actually thought the Princesses would be a bit more helpful than this. However, at least he had something to go off of. “Thank you for your assistance your Highnesses,” he said, taking a bow. “Come along, Symph. I’m sure the Princesses and the national heroes have some talking to do.”

“Yes sir,” said Symph, following Bill out the door, leaving Celestia, Luna, and the Elements of Harmony alone.

“Knowing you, I take it you have plan in case Bill decides to unleash Tartarus upon our world?” Celestia asked Twilight, who nodded.

“Should Bill get out of control, we will head to the Tree of Harmony, remove the Elements, and use them to imprison Bill in stone before putting them right back where they were,” explained Twilight.

“And… you are certain this will be enough to defeat him?”

Twilight looked confused. “What do you mean?” she asked her former teacher.

“When the being in green arrived, he told us that Bill had two weaknesses, and that he had taken steps to avoid having them be exploited, such as placing an agent to keep Bill in line. However, I feel as though we should know what these weaknesses are, just in case.”

…

“Do you have to bend gravity every time you meet someone?” Symph asked as he walked with his hands behind his back while walking alongside Bill.

“I'll keep doing it until it stops surprising the ones I meet, so most likely I'll never stop.”

Symph rolled his eyes and looked around the castle corridors. “Wonder how Ashley and Abi are getting along in their Equestria.”

“What was that?”

Symph just smiled. “Abi is my aunt and Ashley is one of my father's displaced, I haven't seen my aunt in a few months so I was just wondering what they were doing is all.”

Bill looked at him with a raised brow. “I have a feeling that there's more to you than you let on.”

“Even for you Bill, if I told you about it you wouldn't believe me, so we'll just leave it be.”

Bill shrugged and looked down the hallway. “Hey, you mentioned on the train that I'm part of this huge family of people like me right? Y’know, people who are put in Equestria as fictional characters.”

“I did yes.”

“Well what kind of people are they? What did they get turned into?” Bill asked while floating upside down.

Symph raised a brow. “Since when are you so interested?”

Bill smiled. “What, I just wanna know some stuff about the people in my new family is all.”

Symph rolled his eyes and began listing the members of the family. “Ok, there's a Metal Sonic, Mecha Sonic, Auldin from Skyrim although he chooses to spell his name differently, a Slenderwoman, a group of galactic rangers from Ratchet and Clank 3, Master Chief, gender swap version of Fire Fist Ace from One Piece, Alucard, Lelouch and C2. There are also a number of others that aren't displaced like my father, some are symbiotes like me and some are just creatures from other worlds.”

Bill laughed. “Seriously? I'm related to all of those people now?”

“Yes, it is quite a strange bunch, the head of the family is my grandfather, Roden’s boss Author.”

“Hmmm, you continue to amaze me sidekick.” Symph nodded and the two reached the Canterlot Gardens. “Alright, let's get going, the sooner we get my wife back the better, I'm already missing her delicious gingerbread biscuits that she bakes.” Bill whimpered like a puppy before floating higher into the air. “Hey! You want to fuse to travel there?!” Bill called down.

Symph was about to answer when he stopped and looked around. “You go on ahead, I'll catch up.”

Bill didn't question him and nodded, teleporting away. Symph's eyes narrowed and he began walking towards a statue, a small cloud of dark purple mist coming from behind it.

“Was wondering when one of you would show up.”

The Nightmare

Bill appeared on the front steps of a large stone temple with a large stone door that had six locks shaped like various symbols on it, thus preventing Bill from getting past it even with all of his power… not that he didn’t try, of course.

Well, that sucks! What good is almost unlimited power if it can’t break down a simple stone door? thought Bill to himself as he approached the door to get a better look at it. As he did so, he began to realize that there were markings around each of the locks, possibly indicating where each of the symbols were to be found. “What language is this? Even I don't know it, it's just a bunch of squiggles to me.” He said while scratching his head.

“That would be Nighronen, an ancient language not of this universe or any other for that matter, it belongs to the creatures known as The Nightmare Fuels.” A voice said from behind.

Bill smirked as he recognised the voice, turning his body around first and then his head he saw his displacer. “Ah! Ol’ Green! I haven't seen you since your little visit at the hospital, where you been all this time?”

Roden rolled his eyes and spoke through his scarf. “If you must know I've taken on an apprentice that has taken on most of my time, and his development is of dire importance. I believe you have already met his son?”

“Who? Symph?” Roden nodded. “He did say he was here on your orders, so what have ya got the little fella doing then? Looking for artifacts? Hunting someone? Trying to get him to be independent or just trying to dodge babysitting him?” Bill asked while floating in the air.

“I have him here to monitor you and keep you under control, as well as a private mission that you have no business knowing about-” Just then the two sensed two dark forces clashing in the direction of Canterlot. “Ok, maybe you do now.”

“Should we be worried about that?”

“No, Symph can handle himself, he's stronger than he demonstrated when you first met.” Roden shook his head and walked over to the door. “Now, would you like me to translate these for you?”

As Bill was about to respond when an idea came to him. “Oh! Can you make it that they translate themselves one by one as I collect each key? That would be fun!”

Roden just looked at him with an unamused expression. “It's your wife in there you know, not treasure for an RPG side-quest.”

Bills smile faltered as he remembered who was at stake. “Sorry, just spouting random things again. Just go ahead and translate it for me, thanks.”

Roden nodded and turned to the markings. “To find what you seek you must first seek another, destroying the guardians of the keys shall light the way, only then will you find the way to your other, and let your true inner emotions sway.” Roden looked at it confused. “Why in the name of Cavros would a Nightmare make a rhyme out of this?”

“So basically it means that I have to hunt down each guardian of the keys, kill them and bring all the keys here to get my wife back?” Bill asked while he floated with huge nerdy glasses and a notepad in his hands as he took notes.

“That would be my guess, I may know a lot of things but this is new to me, I've never seen a Nightmare do this before…”

“Ok Green, what's a Nightmare?” Bill asked annoyed.

“It's like a parasite, there are thousands if not millions of them out there in the multiverse, they target Equestrias specifically because of the magical energy there, they hunt and destroy everything they come across, while most are mindless drones there are intelligent ones that are harder to defeat than most others. If you find one and defeat it, it will transform into a purple orb, bring that orb to Symph as soon as possible before it regenerates. Understood?”

“Why can't I just destroy it though?” Bill asked.

“Because you have to have a very specific power to completely destroy them, Symph had that power. Now I must be going, good luck on your journey Bill.” With that Roden was gone.

“Boy, he just comes as soon as he goes doesn't he?” Bill shook himself and looked to the first symbol. “Ok, it's in the shape of a mountain and it's red…” He floated up into the air and looked around, spotting a red volcano in the far distance. “Guess I know where I'm going first. Although I'm sure the ponies want to tag along to make Celestia feel safer about me wandering around this place, so I'll have to wait.” He groaned and looked back to Canterlot and noticed a lot of black tendril like objects in the gardens. “Uh oh, better get there before any maids take a wrong turn if you know what I mean.”

…

Twilight, Celestia, Luna, and the other Elements of Harmony could only watch in awe as Symph and the strange creature made out of purple mist continued to battle each other, the young sidekick’s black tendrils reaching all over the gardens hunting down the beast that he had come face to face with. Symph's entire body was black save for his eyes, along with his tendrils he stretched his arms to attack the Nightmare Fuel that had appeared.

As the Nightmare charged him he teleported out of the way, reappeared behind it and shot a tendril in its back. The Nightmare grunted and pulled away, swiping a claw at Symph and leaving a glowing white mark on his torso that disappeared.

Symph retracted some of his tendrils and used them to trap the Nightmare in a black sphere. He glared at the ball before crushing the Nightmare inside. He retracted his tendrils but left the black cage that he had created over Canterlot until he was sure that there was only one Nightmare.

The Nightmare had formed into a small purple orb that Symph crushed under his foot. “To think I actually considered you a threat.”

As he said this he heard a growl come from behind him. Turning around he saw a small horde of the monsters appearing, all glaring at him with their dead black eyes with only red dots as pupils.

They all held out one hand and blasted him with multiple blasts of dark energy, the ponies watched in horror as the young man was bombarded by the beasts, unable to see what affect they had on him because of a dust cloud that had formed around him. As the dust settled a large black wall stood, it then transformed into a tendril and retracted into Symph's body who was completely untouched by the attacks.

Symph turned his body slightly to the right, reached his left hand up to his right shoulder before throwing his hand forward causing an invisible force to blow the monsters away, some forming into orbs. With the survivors Symph formed multiple more arms, the tips of the fingers being sharp claws he stretched them out and destroyed all of them with furious swipes.

He then blasted all the orbs that they had left behind before taking down the cage around Canterlot, returning to normal and looking around at the damages. “Oh dear, I seem to have made a mess during that brawl, I should probably start tidying up before going after Bill.”

As he grew multiple black arms out of his back he began repairing the statues and fixing the flowers that had been destroyed in the battle. The ponies just looked at him, mouths open and their eyes wide.

I thought having to keep Bill in line would be difficult enough, but if his sidekick is almost as powerful as him… Gaia will be lucky to survive the week, thought Twilight, a shiver of fear running through her as she looked to her teacher and friends, seeing similar reactions on their faces.

“You don't have to worry about me Miss Sparkle, I'm not here to cause trouble, only prevent it.” Symph said causing her to jump.

“Um, did I say that out loud?” The alicorn asked.

“No, but I heard it from your magical energy.” Everyone looked at him confused. “I possess the ability to read someone's mind by analysing their magical aura, with this I can also tell what they are feeling, how powerful they are and see a little into their memories if I wish, don't worry I didn't look.”

At that moment, Bill appeared out of thin air right beside the group, causing Fluttershy to jump about a foot in the air. “So, what’d I miss? Where’s the bad guys?” he asked looking around.

“You’re a little late to the party, Bill. I already dealt with the Nightmare while you were off checking out your wife’s temple,” said Symph. “Speaking of which, did you by any chance find out anything?”

“Yeah, I had a run-in with Roden who translated some of the markings on the temple door. I also got a lead on where one of the keys are. It’s inside a volcano not that far from here, so I guess that’s where we’ll be heading a chapter or two from now,” said Bill, twirling his cane as he spoke while everyone just raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Wait… why aren’t we heading there in the next chapter? I mean, if you know where one of the keys are, shouldn’t we be heading there like, right now?” asked Pinkie.

“Well, Joker and PyraFlare wanted to do a Christmas/Hearth’s Warming chapter, but they weren’t able to get this one done in time to make the deadline, so they’re doing it next chapter. Besides, I’m pretty sure ponies wouldn’t last long inside a volcano, so there’s that.”

“Please don't mention my creator Bill, whenever a character does that they usually end up being the butt of every joke.” Symph stated flatly.

“Huh, didn't know you had fourth wall breaking abilities too sidekick, when did this happen?”

“I dunno.” Symph's eyes suddenly became half lidded and his smile turned to a frown. “I'm sorry...I'm feeling...rather...sleepy…” Symph's eyes closed and he fell limp on the ground unconscious. There was a dark purple dagger in his back, giving off a dark aura that tried to enter Symph's body but was failing.

Bill floated down and turned Symph on his side, inspecting him and his wound after taking out the dagger which disappeared. “Well that's not ominous at all.” He turned his attention back to Symph whose breathing was slow. “Well, I guess he does deserve a rest after that fight. Gotta get that wound looked at, hold on there little buddy.”

“Is he going to be alright?” Celestia asked looking to Symph concerned.

“Since when do you care about either of our well beings, and yes he looks fine I think.”

Celestia was taken back by his words. “W-What do you mean?”

“I know about your little plans Celestia, and I'm gonna say right now that if I wanted to destroy Equestria, kill you or cause worldwide chaos I'd have done it already. I mean, it’s not like your Elements of Harmony can actually DO anything to me. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to make sure my sidekick doesn't kick the bucket.” With that Bill floated down the hallway with Symph in his arms.

…

Meanwhile in Symph's subconscious

Symph opened his eyes and sat up, looking around at the black abyss that was his mind, bare as nothing was currently functioning other than his natural reflexes. Getting up, he snapped his fingers, causing a scene to appear before him.

He stood on the tiny island in the middle of the sea of stars looking up at the sky. Each of those stars represented a memory, his memories and his father's memories that were transferred to him through a fusion. He looked up as new stars started appearing, representing Bill’s memories.

He began walking towards the water, as his foot touched the starry liquid it acted like a solid surface allowing him to walk across it. With each step a soft, relaxing dinging sound emitted through the air as Symph hummed a little tune to himself as he walked across the ocean.

He eventually reached another figure standing in the ocean, looking out at the horizon. “I wasn't aware that someone else had entered my mindscape.” He said to the figure.

“Sorry, I just needed to get out of my own body for a change.” The female replied.

“I won't tell you to leave as long as you don't go diving into my memories or attempt to take control, but answer me this…” The woman looked back to him. “Why seal yourself away in that temple...Miss Jacquline?”

Symph's Valentine's Day (Hearts and Hooves Special)

Symph opened his eyes slightly before fully opening them. Getting up he looked around, finding himself in Bills castle. Shaking his head he swung his legs off the side of his bed and rubbed his eyes, thinking about what he had heard in his mindscape. He knew the reason for Jacqueline trapping herself in that temple, he knew how to open the door without the keys...but he wouldn't let Bill know, he couldn't let Bill know, I’m not going to let any of you know. Why? Because I love hiding things from my readers, well I should say mine and Jokers readers but you get the point.

He looked to his body to see that his wounds had healed and his bowtie was placed on a table across the room as it had been damaged but was now repaired. Placing it around his shirt collar he nodded in satisfaction before walking out the door of the room to find Bill.

The castle would have seemed like an endless maze to anyone else, but Symph had been made to specifically counteract things that bent reality, as such he was able to navigate through the castle normally. How else did you think he wasn't affected by the gravity change when he and Bill met Celestia?

As Symph approached one of the many living rooms of the castle he sensed Bill inside...and he was distressed.

Opening the large black door he sa Bill slumped on the couch. Walking up to him Symph cleared his throat to get his attention. “Oh, hey there sidekick, feeling better?”

“My injuries are healed yes, but I'm the one that should be asking you how you feel, you seem upset. I didn't think I'd ever see Bill Cipher sulking.” Symph looked at him with concern. “How are you feeling?”

Bill groaned and slumped back in his seat. “Do you know what today is Symph?”

“To be honest I don't know how long I was out, so care to enlighten me?”

“It's hearts and hooves day.” Bill stated with sadness. “And I can't even spend the day with my lovely wife. I may be Bill in body, and in ways in mind, but I'm also human, I WAS human. I still care for things, I care for people, I feel sadness and I feel joy. I'm not some heartless monster because I'm NOT the real Bill Cipher...I'm me. And I miss my wife, I wanted to spend the day with her, just me and her, together…”

Symph started to feel guilty, partially for the knowledge he had that could fix Bills problem, but mostly for something else.

“Oh well, guess it's just me and you sidekick, what's say we go flirt with the single mares in town eh?” Bill asked in a cheery voice, no back to his normal self.

Symph looked away slightly. “Well…” He didn't like what Bill was suggesting, but to avoid his feelings being hurt further he decided to go along with it, just to keep Bill under control and to not go too far. “Alright.” He replied. ‘Zeri please forgive me for this!’

…

Symph watched as Bill tried and failed to flirt with the mares in town, resulting in a slap to the face each time.

Bill walked over rubbing his right cheek that was now red from the slaps, even a being that was essentially a God was no match for female slaps, no man was. “Damn, the women in this town are really sensitive.”

“You're going about this wrong.” Symph stated.

“What?”

“You're just pointing out their physical features, you're letting those chaotic thoughts of yours tale over, you aren't acting like you care because you don't, you already have a wife so you purposely make yourself screw up.”

“Oh really? If you know so much about this why don't you give it a try, and why not make it a bet?” Bill asked with a smirk.

“Challenge accepted. If I can successfully gain a positive reaction from one of these mares you have to be the sidekick for as long as I feel like it.”

Bill thought for a moment. “Alright, if you can't you have to cater to my every whim.”

“Deal.” The two shook hands, their hands being coated in blue fire, and Symph began looking around for a potential target. Spotting one he changed his body to be a few years older, specifically twenty years old as to not creep any mares out with him being a young boy. His hair was now long, reaching past his neck, his boy was well toned but still thin and his teeth were slightly sharper, but still smooth enough to not intimidate.

He walked over to his selected mare, Octavia Melody, and tapped her shoulder gently while she was looking through a music shops window. She turned around and raised a brow. “What do you want?”

‘Remember, you need to make her feel wanted, show her that you care.’ He thought to himself. “What I want is irrelevant my dear, what you want is far more important in this situation.” He said politely with a small smile. “I couldn't help but notice that you seem to be staring at a certain chelo in that window, highest quality instrument on the market I take it?”

Octavia looked back at the instrument and smiled. “Yes, I almost have enough bits to buy it. I need to have the best at my disposal when performing.”

Symph nodded. “I understand, only the best quality for the best kind of person.”

Octavia blushed slightly at the comment. “I b-beg your pardon?” She asked in shock.

“I'm sorry, did I say something to offend you?” Symph asked with legitimate concern. “I assure you I was only complimenting you.”

Octavia shook her head. “No no, you didn't offend me...it's just, I've never been given. compliment like that before.”

“Well I'll admit I'm surprised, with how you look and how much confidence and talent you have I'm wondering why stallions are not throwing themselves at your hooves.”

Octavia blushed brighter and smiled. “Well...thank you...um, what was your name?”

“Symph, pleasure to meet you.” He said holding out his hand, but not to shake. He held in his hand a small purple rose and handed it to her.

“Oh, why thank you Symph. I am Octavia, and the pleasure is all mine.” She took the flower and to a sniff. “Um, don't get me wrong Symph, but is this an attempt at courtship?”

Symph smiled and shook his head. “I'm afraid it's not my dear, I merely saw that you looked a little lonely and thought I'd come up to brighten up your day a bit, I know that today of all days is the worst time to be alone, so I thought I'd give you at least some love on a day like this.” He replied. He then walked up to her and whispers on her ear. “I'm also trying to win a bet with Bill to see if I can get a successful reaction from flirting.”

Octavia's eyes widened and she smirked, her meal was ruined when Bill had summoned his castle and her food had spilled on her good clothes, now she had a chance at revenge. “We then consider your bet won.” She stepped forward and planted a kiss on Symph's cheek before walking away while looking at him with half lidded eyes.

Bill just stood in shock, his jaw dropped. He wasn't able to hear what had been said but he saw the end result. Symph turned around slightly and looked to Bill with half lidded eyes and a smug smile before reaching into his tux, pulling out a microphone and dropping it. “...what…”

“Pick up the mic...sidekick.” Symph smirked as he taunted Bill.

…

Symph had returned to normal and ran through the Whitetail Woods until he came to a circular clearing. He quickly made sure he was presentable before giving a sigh of relief. “I made it on time.” He said to himself.

He waited a few more moments before a dark purple portal appeared a few feet away from him, a figure jumping out before it closed.

Symph smiled warmly at the new arrival and held out and open hand. The figure placed her hand in his and they both closed. “Hello, Zerlinda.” He greeted with a loving voice.

The girl, that looked around the same age as Symph, had long dark purple hair, her eyes red, tiny fangs poking out from under her upper lip, she wore a black hoodie, jeans and shoes, three black tendrils growing out of her back. “Hello again, Symph.”

The two looked to each other with care in their eyes before walking hand in hand through the woods. “Happy hearts and hooves day.” They both said in unison.

Round One With Discord

Symph was walking through Bill’s castle, whistling cheerfully to himself. Bill was out running errands, Faust knows what those could be, and he had the whole place to himself. To top it off, he’d had such a wonderful time with Zerlinda on Hearts and Hooves Day that he seemed to be in a perpetually good mood.

As he passed by the throne room, Symph heard a weird whooshing sound, followed swiftly by a series of violent coughing. Curious, Symph entered the throne room to find Bill there, coughing violently with his suit and top hat covered in what Symph recognized as volcanic soot and burned holes.

“Cough, cough Hey, Symph. I think I just learned a cough downside of having a physical human form,” said Bill. “cough, hack Volcanic soot really does a number on the lungs. Don’t take up smoking, k-kids.”

Symph raised an eyebrow. “What happened to you? Get caught in a fire?”

“In a-cough, hack- manner of speaking. Hang on a second,” said Bill before snapping his fingers, restoring his suit and causing a glass of water to appear in his hand, which he downed in one gulp. “That’s better,” he said, before tossing the glass over his shoulder. “Now, you were asking what happened to me?” Symph nodded. “Well, if you must know, I was investigating that volcano were one of the keys to my wife’s temple is.”

“Did you find anything?” asked Symph.

“Of course I did. I found a great big temple in there. And it doesn’t take an all-seeing eye to figure out that that’s probably where the key is,” explained Bill as he climbed up and lounged on his large black throne.

“So, did you get it?” asked Symph.

“Unfortunately, I couldn’t even get INSIDE the place. There’s some kind of magical barrier set up that needs a key of its own to lower. I’ve tried everything to get it open, leaving my body, hitting it with a blast the equivalent to 47 nukes, everything, but I can’t get it open.”

“Well, then, what’s the next move, boss?” asked Symph.

“The next move? Simple: we start looking for the guy who has the key to lower the barrier around that temple, and stop at nothing until we’ve found it. If we have to burn all of Equestria to the ground, we’ll do it. If we have to rip apart the very fabric of existence to get through that barrier, we’ll do it,” said Bill.

Symph was about to say something, but before he could say it, he was cut off by the sound of a pubescent male’s agony-filled screams. Symph frowned as he recognized the voice. “Isn’t that Dipper Pines’-” he started to say before Bill’s eye turned black and red and his arm stretched out to place a finger on his lips.

“Hush, sidekick. We don’t say Pine Tree’s name under this roof. Or his sister’s name. Or either of his Great-Uncles’ names. Or his redhead axe-flinging cashier girlfriend’s name. Or the names of anyone else on that accursed Zodiac Wheel. IS THAT UNDERSTOOD?” said Bill, his voice turning dark and demonic.

“Yes, I understand,” said Symph unfazed.

“Good,” said Bill as his eye returned to normal and his arm shrank back to its normal length and he floated down from his throne. “Now, let’s go and see who’s at the door, shall we?”

Symph raised an eyebrow. “Dip-I mean, Pine Tree’s scream is your doorbell?” he asked Bill as they made their way towards the door.

“Oh, it’s not just Pine Tree’s scream that’s my doorbell. I also have Shooting Star, Fez Symbol, and Sixer’s screams too,” said Bill with a sinister smirk.

True to the dream demon’s word, the screams of a 12-year old girl and two different middle-aged men rang through the castle’s halls as Bill and Symph reached the door and opened it to find Pinkie Pie standing there.

“I think your doorbell’s scared of me. Everytime I press it, the poor thing screams bloody murder. I hate it when things scream bloody murder, it just makes me want to cry,” said Pinkie with a tear in her eye.

“Cut to the chase, Balloons. Why are you here?” asked Bill.

“Weeellllll… seeing as I haven’t thrown you a ‘Welcome To Ponyville’ Party yet, and since it would make for a great set-up for Spike and Rarity to confess their feelings for each other…” said Pinkie before she took a MASSIVE intake of breath.

“You are very cordially, cordially, cordially, you are very cordially invited to a party! And it will be a grand affair, grand affair, grand affair, and it will be a grand affair hosted by Pinkie! We do hope that you can come, you can come, you can come, we do hope that you can come to share in all the joy!” sang Pinkie as she hopped around like a demented rabbit.

Symph looked over at Bill, who seemed to be thinking about Pinkie’s invitation. Part of him hoped that he wasn’t going to shuffle the functions of every hole in Pinkie’s face.

Finally, after a moment, Bill spoke. “You know, Balloons… a party might actually sound like fun,” he said.

Pinkie Pie let out a squee of delight. “Awesome! The party starts at around 5:30 tonight at Sugarcube Corner, so I’ll see you guys then!” she said, before speeding off like a bullet from a rail gun.

Symph looked at Bill. “Why did you say yes to the party? I thought your number one priority was finding the key to that barrier at the Fire Temple,” he said.

“It is. But, I got a feeling about this party of Balloons’. And whenever I have a feeling about something, it usually pays off big time. Or, it gets a lot of people hurt. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to pick and appropriate outfit for the party,” said Bill before he snapped his fingers, causing him to warp from the Foyer to the Wardrobe Room.

“All right, let’s see here…” said Bill before clapping his hands once, causing a nearby wardrobe’s doors to fly open and shoot out a clothes and hat rack far longer than the wardrobe should’ve been able to fit. On this rack was massive variety of suits, tuxedos, and outfits, ranging from a minister’s black costume and a priest's white robes to a green and light blue version of the suit he was currently wearing, amongst other colors.

“Hmm… no, no, no, no, no, no,” muttered Bill as he sorted through the outfits. “Eh, you know what? I’m just gonna wear my usual suit. I mean, Joker the Hedgehog only added that bit with the clothes rack for the sake of adding a bunch of references to alternate versions of myself, just so he could play a little guessing game with the readers. Speaking of which, can we just cut to the party already?”

…

“Well, here we are,” said Symph as he and Bill appeared out of thin air just outside the front door of Sugarcube Corner several hours later, causing a few ponies outside to jump in fright.

“Well, then, what are we waiting for? Let’s get this party start-GAHHHRGH!” screamed Bill as he opened the door to the bakery and got an extremely loud earful of synthesized music from the subwoofers on Vinyl Scratch’s DJ Station. DJ PON-3 looked a little confused herself about the music she was putting on, as it was clearly not wubs. To Bill, it sounded like a mixture between nails on a chalkboard and a whistling teapot.

Princess Twilight and her friends, including a snickering Pinkie Pie, saw Bill’s distress and cautiously approached him. “Mr. Cipher? Are you okay?” Fluttershy asked.

“That… music… hurts! MAKE IT STOP!!!” screamed Bill, before unleashing a blast that completely ruined Vinyl’s Dj station. As Vinyl shot the dream demon a glare, Bill himself staggered into a nearby chair, completely drained.

“You better not be getting any ideas from this little incident Twilight, or else there’ll be Hell and/or Tartarus to pay,” warned Bill.

“W-what? Why would you think something like that?” said Twilight, turning bright red as she spoke.

“Oh, don’t lie to me, Twilight. I’m the Master of The Mind, it’s impossible to lie to me. You’re planning on trying to find a way to use synthesized music to keep me on a leash, as per Celestia’s request,” said Bill.

“N-no! I wouldn’t do that! Nor would Celestia ever ask me to do that! Especially not to someone who just wants to be reunited with his wife, even if he is all-powerful and is a little insane and has the potential to wipe out all of Equine existence,” said Twilight, looking from left to right with a very forced smile on her face.

“Uh-huh. You keep telling yourself that, Twilight. But me, you, Symph, and everyone else in your little posse know that Celestia wants me on a leash, any leash that you can find for me,” said Bill, snapping his fingers and summoning a plate of steak and strange fruits or vegetables and a mug labeled “Pine Tree’s Tears.” A bowl of Ramen noodles appeared in front of Symph.

“Eh, actually, I think this can wait for just a bit longer. I should probably fix up Vinyl’s DJ Station first,” said Bill, snapping his fingers and causing both his and Symph’s food to vanish. A second snap fixed Vinyl’s DJ Station, but left the record broken. “Ooh! I’ve got an idea! Anyone up for some karaoke? I’ll go first!”

Rainbow Dash raised an eyebrow. “Karaoke? Seriously?” she said, unamused.

“Oh, don’t be such a party pooper, Dashie! I think it’s a great idea! Go on, Bill! Go talk to Vinyl!” said Pinkie.

“Glad you approve, Balloons,” said Bill as he walked up to DJ PON-3. “Say, Vinyl, I’ve got a song to play for a round of karaoke.”

“Seriously? You want me to play a song for you after you blew up my sound system?” Vinyl said angrily.

“Yeah, but I FIXED your sound system, didn’t I?” said Bill.

Vinyl sighed in defeat. “Fair point. What’s the song?” she said.

“I actually have it here in my pocket,” said Bill, reaching his hand into his pants pocket. “Let’s see here… book listing the Mane 6’s deepest, darkest, dirtiest, fears and secrets, ooh, might want to hang onto that… iPod Touch… YOUCH! MOUSETRAP! Old contracts… ah, here it is!” said Bill as he pulled out a vinyl record that looked way too big to fit in his pocket.

“Not even gonna ask…” DJ PON-3 muttered as she took the record from Bill. “‘deCIPHER by Madame Macabre (Bill Cipher Cover)?’” she read aloud in a confused sounding voice.

“Yeah, it’s one of my favorites back home. I had that record custom-made,” said Bill.

“Well… okay…” said Vinyl as she put on the record. At the same time, Bill snapped his fingers, transforming Sugarcube Corner’s interior into a concert hall or civic center. Bill himself appeared on the stage with a microphone in his hand as several colored staged lights shined on him and the music started.

Youtube Video

“Hey kid, I know you can hear me. Hey kid, I know you can see. Hey kid, things are 'bout to get crazy. So just sit right there and you listen to me. I've seen more than you can imagine. I've heard things to torture your soul. Join me and we'll both get ahead kid. Shake my hand and then, we'll both have it all.”

As Bill started singing, the ponies in the room, who were baffled by what had just happened, looked towards the stage. A couple even started to tap their hooves in time with the music.

“Don't let go of this opportunity, 'Cause there's no guarantee it'll last. What say you little pal, have we got a deal? Haven't got all day so you'd best think fast!”

“Side with me kid, I'll have your back. Count me in when confidence is all you lack. Price is simple, rather sparing. Time is slipping, life is choices let's start living!

As Bill started to scat, more and more ponies started to groove with the music. Even Twilight was starting to tap her hoof in tune.

“You know you've always been different. They'll just drag you down don't you see? It's tough but you've got to be brave, they're just dead weight you gotta cut away to be free!”

“You know that they'll try to deceive you. Your hunches were right from the start. You don't have to sit and play good boy, take a stand and tear this world all apart!”

“Time draws short you've gotta make up your mind. I don't offer these things every day. Little tree how big that you could grow up. If you'll just say the word and you'll let me stay!”

It was at this point that everypony started jamming along to the music like they were seeing Sapphire Shores in concert or something along those lines.

“Side with me kid, I'll have your back. Count me in when confidence is all you lack. Price is simple, rather sparing. Time is slipping, life is choices, let's start living.”

As Bill started scatting again, he caught sight of a tall dark shadow lurking outside Sugarcube Corner, obviously attracted to his little show. And that shadow looked kind of familiar, too.

“Don't let go of this opportunity, 'cause there's no guarantee it'll last. What say you little pal have we got a deal? Haven't got all day so you'd best think fast!”

“Side with me kid, I'll have your back. Count me in when confidence is all you lack.Price is simple, rather sparing. Time is slipping, life is choices, let's start living!”

As Bill’s song came to a close, everyone inside Sugarcube Corner was cheering like they were at a rock concert or something. After taking a few bows, Bill snapped his fingers and returned the bakery to its original state as the ponies surrounded him, squealing and cheering his name.

Well, Bill, it looks like you’ve completely won them over, Bill thought to himself as he pushed his way through the crowd to go and meet up with the Mane 6 and Symph.

“Well, Mr. Cipher, I must admit, you have a tremendous singing voice… especially for a dead guy.”

Bill came to a halt and everyone in the room went quiet. Turning around Bill came face to face with the spirit of chaos himself, Discord. “Well well, look who finally decided to show his ugly mug.” Bill said as he floated up slightly.

With a small flash of light Symph appeared beside Bill and looked up, groaning as he saw who it was. “This is not going to end well for anyone.” Symph walked in between the two and sighed. “If you guys are gonna do this take it outside of Ponyville.”

“Oh, who's this little guy?” Discord asked teasingly while bending down to eye level. “You are just adorable, what's your name widdle guy?” Discord began pinching Symph's cheek.

“And the line has been crossed.” Symph said simply.

Outside the bakery two mares were walking by when they saw Discord flying through a wall and crashing outside of Ponyville.

Bill looked to Symph who had made a giant black fist to knock Discord away. “Go do your fight Bill, it's what the people want after all.” He said with ice in his voice.

“Geez, what nerve did he pull?”

“I hate being called cute.” Symph answered.

“You are cute though, you have to admit.” Bill was then knocked away to the same position as Discord who was pulling his face out of the ground. “Yeah...I should have known that would be his response.” Bill said as he got to his feet. “Damn, for a little guy he hits hard.” As the two reality warpers got their feet they stared each other down. “So, why did you show up anyway?”

“Other than to meet another bringer of chaos, I think you'll be interested in what I have around my neck.” Discord said as he motioned to a necklace he was wearing. It was a black wire with some kind of glowing key attached to it. “Know what this key is?”

“They key to your dream journal that you write about your fantasies of making out with Sunbutt in?” Bill joked.

“Why would I ever fantasise about that stuck up princess? I already have an Angel by my side.” Discord answered. “So no. This key is the key you need to reach the volcano temple, which holds the key to your wife's temple if I'm not mistaken.”

Bill's gaze hardened at the information given to him. “So...what is it you want from me for that key?” His voice was filled to the brim with anger.

“Bill Cipher, I challenge you to a duel!” Discord yelled as he snapped his fingers and made a fancy suit appear on his body with an old pistol in his hand. “Whoever wins shall be crowned King of Chaos! And as a bonus, if you win, I'll give you this little key here.” He added while poking the key.

Bill just glared at Discord, his body red and his eye glowing. “Alright fine! But even if I lose I'm taking that key from you!” Bill then cocked his cane like a shotgun. “And I'm not gonna lose. SIDEKICK!!!”

Symph popped into existence beside the enraged Bill. “I fixed the walls. And aren't you forgetting our bet? You're the sidekick.” Bill just glared at the unfazed Symph. “I'll give the boss roll back to you for now.” He said while looking over to Discord. “So, we're fighting then. That something I can get behind.”

“Oh no, this is going to be a fair fight, no outside help.” Discord stated.

“Well I'm not just going to sit this out.” Symph countered. “There are no rules in place here. You two literally defy any rules given to you, so I'm doing the same.”

Discord growled and then snapped his fingers, trying to teleport the young symbiote away, but had no effect. “Damnit. SCREWBALL!!!”

Symph suddenly groaned. “Oh no…”

The pink mare with the swirling eyes appeared on Discord’s shoulder. “You called daddy?”

Discord glared at Symph. “Show Black Butler Jr here what you're made of.” He instructed.

“I'm made of magic and flesh dad, I don't think anyone wants to see that.” Screwball joked.

“Just fight him while I deal with Bill.”

Bill looked to the groaning Symph. “What's wrong with you?”

“Screwball is my sister in another world.” Symph stated tiredly. “This fight is just gonna be awkward for me.”

“Relax, just...picture her in her underwear.”

“DEAR FAUST NO!!!”

“Hey, I was only trying to help,” said Bill with a shrug. “Oh, well, let’s start beating the living daylights out of them!”

Youtube Video

As the four fighters charged at each other, yelling at the top of their lungs, Bill summoned his cane, which then turned into a katana, while Discord summoned... a balloon sword. Which Bill cut to shreds within seconds while Screwball and Symph engaged in a kung-fu battle.

“Oh, dear, my weapon appears to have been destroyed,” said Discord as he avoided Bill’s swings. “Fortunately, I have another one.”

On that note, Discord snapped his fingers and summoned a REALLY big sword, which he began swinging at Bill.

“Oh, AXOLOTL!” yelled Bill as he jumped out of the way of the sword’s blade. “Unfortunately for you, I can make my sword, and myself, bigger, too!”

And true to his word, Bill’s size increased to that of the Equestrian State Building in Manehattan. The giant reality warper then took his giant katana and began to slice the ground Discord was standing on… only for him to increase his size too.

“I grow rather tired of all this swordplay,” the giant draconequus said, discarding his sword. “How about we have some REAL fun, with a bit of chaos?”

Discord then snapped his fingers, causing his discarded sword to turn into a swarm of giant butterfly-bee crossbreeds, which then began attacking Bill.

“ARRGH! NOT THE BEES! NOT THE CUTENESS! IT BURNS!” screamed Bill. “All right, that’s it! Enough games!”

With that, Bill summoned a cream pie in his hand, which he threw at Discord hitting him smack in the face, blinding him long enough to start decking him with his cane before knocking self-proclaimed Master of Chaos to the ground and pointing a rocket launcher directly at his face.

“Boom, baby!” yelled Bill as he fired the rocket launcher, injuring Discord and leaving a MASSIVE crater around him.

Discord coughed as he pulled himself off of the ground, dusted off his suit and glared at Bill.

Meanwhile Symph stood still, his eyes moving slowly as he scanned the area, waiting for Screwball to strike. He felt a surge of energy dashing towards him and he dodged before shooting a tendril in the direction from where the blast had came, managing to strike Screwball in the shoulder.

He smirked and wrapped the tendril around her before repeatedly smashing her into the ground. He began spinning, causing Screwball to be whacked against the trees in the area before being thrown up into the air where Symph jumped up and roundhouse kicked her back down to the ground.

As he was about to land multiple pink clouds appeared in the area and shot black lighting at the symbiote. He dished the best he could but some stiles managed to land a hit.

When he wasn't looking Screwball summoned a lollipop and made it grow into a huge candy hammer which she spun for a second before bringing it down on Symph's head.

He held his head in pain as he turned around with an angry glare only to receive cotton candy being thrown at his face. He sighed as he tried to remove the sticky substance from his face only to have it explode. His head was entirely blown off, giving the illusion to Screwball that she had won.

“Well this was fun, but I want to help daddy now, see you in Tartarus~”

As she was about to float away she saw Symph regrowing his head with the black liquid that made up his body...and he was pissed. “No more games...no more clever weapons...no more holding back.”

Youtube Video

His entire body turned black. He held out his arms and sent a wave of white energy across the battlefield. Time seemed to frees as everything within the battleground began to turn black and disoriented. A black dome began to form. Screwball looked down to see Symph with multiple tendrils sticking out of his back that were shooting up to form the dome.

Once it was complete the area was in complete blackness. The only light coming for the glitching White particles in the air. Looking back down to Symph she saw that two large tendrils were growing out if the ground beside him. He was hanging in the air slightly, the tendrils connected to the ceiling lifting him up. “Black Lagoon…” He said darkly, his eyes glowing white and his mouth disappearing.

“This isn't some kinda sex thing is it? I mean with the tendrils, the creepy setting and the creepy expression this just screams hentai to me. You're cute but I don't think it would work out between us long enough to get to this.” Screwball mocked.

“Mock me while you can...this place is where you take your last stand…”

On that last word, Symph launched his tendrils at Screwball, who barely flew out of the way in time, only to get nabbed by the second set of tendrils Symph sent her way and get slammed around on the ground hard enough that the ground actually cracked upon impact.

“Had enough?” growled Symph.

After she coughed up a little blood, Screwball looked up at Symph with a smirk on her face. “Is that… is that all you got?” she asked.

“You’ll regret saying that,” said Symph, launching four tendrils that grabbed Screwball by her arms and legs and began to pull. Grunting in pain, Screwball summoned her lollipop again and was able to cut herself loose and get in close. Swing for swing, Symph was able to block Screwball’s attacks, but wasn't able to get on the offensive. Until Screwball began to get tired and slow down her attacks, allowing Symph to knock the lollipop from her hands and a second hit knocked her to the ground or platform or whatever solid surface was beneath her injured body.

Battered and bruised, Screwball attempted to crawl away from the approaching symbiote as he began to chuckle darkly.

Back with Bill Cipher and Discord, Bill had Discord on his paw, claw, and knees, gasping for breath.

“Had enough?” asked Bill, aiming his katana-cane at Discord. “Ready to cough up that barrier key yet?”

Discord chuckled. “Well, you’ve certainly proven yourself in combat, I’ll say that much. Besides, this is hardly the last you’ll see of me… so, I suppose I can surrender this round to you,” he said, shrinking down to his regular size as Bill did the same.

“Smart move. But, before we get down to business, how about we save your daughter from my sidekick,” said Bill, pointing at the large black bubble that Screwball and Symph were inside.

“Quite right,” said Discord as he and Bill ran over to the bubble. Discord snapped his fingers, summoning a large needle. “Ready?” he asked Bill who raised his sword.

“Ready,” said Bill.

Together, the two masters of chaos stabbed the bubble with their respective pointy objects, and bit by bit, the bubble began to crack apart until finally, it burst in a white flash of light that knocked Bill and Discord off their feet and sent Symph and Screwball flying.

“Symph!” yelled Bill as he quickly got up and went to check on his unconscious sidekick.

“Screwball!” yelled Discord, doing the same for his daughter.

After several moments of shaking the two children, Bill and Discord looked at each other.

“You thinking what I’m thinking?” asked Discord.

“Of course I am, I’m the Master of The Mind, remember?” said Bill.

With a nod, Discord slapped Screwball, who woke up with a dazed and confused look about her, while Bill slapped Symph who woke up and said, “Ow! What was that for?!”

“You’re okay,” said Bill, helping Symph to his feet.

“Screwy, are you okay? Come on, say something to your Daddy Discord!” said Discord, genuine concern in his voice.

“FINLAND!!!” yelled Screwball with a bit of a slur.

“It’s okay, we’ll get you home and get you patched up, okay?” said Discord.

“Ahem! Aren’t you forgetting something?” asked Bill.

“Huh? Oh, yes, here,” said Discord, tossing the Barrier Key to Bill.

Youtube Video

Bill Cipher got the Fire Barrier Key! With it, he can lower the barrier around the Fire Temple and begins searching it for the first key to unlock his wife’s temple door! And yes, this is going to be a thing, so deal with it!

Bill put the Barrier Key in his pocket as and angry-looking Mane 6 and Spike stormed up to him, Discord, Symph, and Screwball.

“You two have a lot of work to do! You’ve all but destroyed Ponyville with your little duel!” snapped Twilight Sparkle.

“What are you talking about? We didn’t-oooooh,” said Bill as he gazed upon Ponyville, where the roofs of several buildings were caved in, almost all the windows were shattered, and the streets were divided by great fissures in the ground.

“Not only that, but you’ve hurt my Discord and my little Screwball!” snapped Fluttershy, before turning a bright red, realizing that she’d just let slip a pretty big secret.

The other Elements of Harmony stared at Fluttershy with expressions of shock and surprise. Finally, it was Rainbow Dash who was able to form the words.

“Wait, so Fluttershy, you and Discord… got it on?” she said in utter shock.

“Yeah, so? I’m allowed to fall in love with and have foals with whoever I want… not that my love life is any of your business,” said Fluttershy indignantly.

“Well, I’m happy for you, Fluttershy!” said Pinkie Pie with a huge grin. “Also, it would explain why you went on vacation for nine months. Weird length of time to spend in the Mareibbean.”

“Can we get back on track here? We can talk with Fluttershy about her love life later, if at all,” said Twilight. “After all, Ponyville’s been completely trashed-”

“Oh, has it, Twilight?” said Bill before he snapped his fingers, causing the fissures to close and the damaged buildings to fix themselves. “There. All better now. If there’s no issue, I think Symph and I will return to our castle for some din-din. So, I bid you farewell until the next chapter. Remember: reality is an illusion the universe is a hologram, you’re all a bunch of toys, BYYYEEEE!”

And with that, Bill Cipher and Symph vanished in a white flash, leaving a distortion behind.

…

Moments latter, Bill and Symph appeared in the dining room of their castle, where their food was waiting for them.

“Well, I’d say that was a pretty long chapter. Let’s eat!” said Bill as he and Symph sat down at the table.

A few moments of silence passed by, broken only by the clinking of silverware against porcelain dishes. Finally, Bill spoke up.

"Hey Symph?" Bill asked.

"Yes Cipher?"

"I was wondering, how did you and that girl meet, what was her name again?"

"Zerlinda."

"Yeah, Zerlinda! So, how'd you two meet?" Bill asked as he rested his elbows on the table to listen to the answer.

Symph smiled and looked up at the sky. "Well...it's a long story."

“Hmm… well, I wouldn’t mind hearing it, as would everyone who’s reading this story. But, for now, I think I know what Chapter 8 is going to be about,” said Bill, looking out the dining room window towards the volcano where the Fire Temple awaited.

Name's Bill Cipher!

Hello, there, readers! So, you decided to see just what this little Displaced story was all about, didja? Of course you did, why else would you give this story a click? Huh? How do I know this is just a fanfiction, rather than an account of actual happenings in a parallel world separated by time and space?

Oh, I know lots of things… LOTS OF THINGS...

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering just who the Hell I am. Well, my name used to be Jason Edwards, and I used to be a mere mortal man, barely clinging to life on his deathbed. Not anymore, boys and girls! Name’s Bill Cipher, master of the mind and wielder of unimaginable god-like power! Oh, but I’m not just your garden variety Triangle Guy Bill Cipher who’s stuck in the dreamscape. Oh, no, I have a physical, HUMAN, form.

Now, I’m sure you’re wondering how exactly I ended up becoming an all-powerful dream demon/god-like entity? Well then pull up a chair, grab your favourite snack and get ready for a tale you'll remember for like a few days then will come back to since it's been in the back of your head for the past few days and it's starting to annoy you as you can't remember where you heard a quote from then you go home and google it only to find it was your first guess to begin with and you wasted five minutes searching it up when you could have been looking at cat gifs or pictures of cute jumping spiders wearing water droplets as tiny hats… Yeah this just got way out of hand.

That's another thing. Now that I have old Billy boy's body and mind I start talking about random things, not that I'm complaining.

Now, where to start… I guess the beginning is always the best place right?

…

Jason Edwards was going to die, and he and his wife knew it.

It all started three years ago. Jason had gone to get some routine blood work done, only to learn that he had contracted a terminal illness called Mercer’s Syndrome, which would attack his nerves and cause his brain’s pain center to overreact, until finally, he would be in so much pain that his heart would stop completely. And now, it seemed that day had finally come as Jason lay in his hospital bed, screaming his lungs out. Already his throat was starting to bleed from all of his screaming in agony.

Fortunately, his wife Jacqueline, or Jackie for short, has by his side the whole time, holding her husband’s hand for comfort as his heart monitor began beeping all the faster.

Finally, Jason’s heart had reached the point where it was about to give out, and with one last scream, he would die.

But, as his final scream reached his voice box, time itself froze, and with it, Jason’s pain.

“Wh-what’s going on?” Jackie asked in confusion.

“I’m what’s going on, Mrs. Edwards.”

Jason and Jackie looked in the direction of the door, and found that a very strange looking figure stood there. He had green hair styled in a fashion similar to Vegeta's from the Dragonball anime, and wore a green hoodie with a metal sash, light green jeans and boots, and a green scarf that concealed his mouth from view.

“Wh-who are you?” Jason asked in his scratchy, dried-up voice.

“My name is Roden,” said Roden, his calm and collected demeanor keeping the husband and wife calm as well. “And I have come with an offer for you, Jason, and one for you, Jacqueline, if you will allow me to explain.”

“What offer?” asked Jackie, mildly interested.

Roden walked over to Jason’s bedside and picked up his doctor’s chart. “Mercer’s Syndrome… probably one of the most painful ways for someone to die, in my opinion,” he said.

“And your point is…?” asked Jason.

“Right, since you want to get right down the details, I’ll get straight to it. You know, of course, that you cannot be saved by any means, correct?”

Jason nodded in response, wondering what this man in green was going on about.

“However, there is in fact a way for you to cheat death and live on with a far more powerful and efficient body. If you are willing to accept my offer, then I promise you that I will use my power to transfer you into this new body that I have in mind for you, and you can live in a world far from the troubles that have besieged you in this one.”

Jason thought about this for a moment. A new lease on life in a new body… how could he say no to that? Provided this guy was actually telling the honest truth, that is. Truth be told, something inside him felt like he could trust this man in green with his life, which was what he pretty much would be doing if he agreed.

“What about Jackie? Do I have to leave her behind if I accept this offer of yours?” asked Jason.

“Of course not. I’m perfectly willing to do the same thing for your wife and give her a new, more powerful body as well,” replied Roden.

Jackie smiled and looked over at Jason. This response was all the dying man needed to make his final decision.

“We’re in.”

Roden reached into his pocket and pulled out two necklaces, one gold, the other silver. Roden then handed the gold necklace to Jason and the silver one to Jackie. Jason looked down at the pendant on the necklace. It was shaped like a triangle with one eye and stick-like arms and legs wearing a bow-tie and a top hat.

Jason recognized this figure immediately. “Is this-”

Before he could finish his sentence, there was a bright flash of light from the necklace, and then everything went dark.

…

“Come on, girls! We’re almost at the temple!” said an anthro purple alicorn mare with a dark blue mane and tail, both of which had a magenta stripe in it, who was clad in a full explorer’s outfit, complete with a miner’s hat and equipment belt. This was Princess Twilight Sparkle of Friendship.

Panting right behind her were five similarly dressed mares and a teenage purple and green dragon with medium-sized wings, who was holding the map. Two of the mares were pegasi, two were Earth Ponies, and the fifth was a unicorn. One of the pegasi was blue and had a rainbow-patterned mane and tail. This was Rainbow Dash. The second pegasus was a buttery yellow and had a soft pink mane and tail. This was Fluttershy.

One of the Earth Ponies was orange in color and had a blonde mane and tail, and wore a brown Stetson hat upon her head. This was Applejack. The second Earth Pony was completely pink, right down to her bushy mane and tail. This was Pinkie Pie.

The unicorn had a purple mane and tail and a white coat, and looked like she’d rather be anywhere but here in the Everfree Forest. This was Rarity.

“Twilight, ya mind tellin us why we're tryin ta find some temple in the Everfree Forest?” asked Applejack while using her stetson to shield her eyes from the harsh rays of sunlight that pierced through the thorn infested grayish blue leaves above them.

“Zecora said that this temple contains a very special ingredient to one of her medical brews, it's also said to hold a strange artifact placed there by a spiritual entity.” Twilight explained with obvious excitement.

“Somethin' tells me that yer not really goin' there ta help Zecora, ya seem pretty excited about this here relic, just promise me that ya won't get sidetracked.” The farm pony said in deadpan.

“Don't worry Applejack, helping my friends is my top priority.”

Spike, the young dragon, looked down at his map. “The temple should be just up ahead here, girls,” he informed his friends.

And, sure enough, just as the six ponies and dragon moved aside some foliage, there it was; a vast, imposing stone temple, dominated by what looked like a triangle with one eye at the top. The glaring look of the triangle’s eye made everypony’s spines shiver with fear.

“Let’s just get those herbs and get out of here while we still can,” said Rainbow Dash, a hint of fear in her voice.

And so, the intrepid explorers made their way into the temple. It wasn’t long, however, before they got themselves lost.

“Now which way do we go?” asked Spike, fear evident in his voice.

Twilight used her magic to light up her horn, giving light to the dim temple. Looking around, the alicorn princess was able to find an open doorway.

“Come on, girls, this way!” she said.

Following Twilight’s lead, the ponies and dragons swiftly made their way into the room beyond the door that Twilight had found. Looking around, they discovered that the room was overrun with herbs. A few holes in the domed ceiling lit the room, rays of sunlight spread out around the chamber.

“Well, I may have ruined my roughing it outfit, but at least we found those herbs Zecora so desperately needed,” said Rarity.

“Hey, girls, look over there!” said Twilight, pointing to an area just over on the far side of the room that was lit by a large ray of light.

The others followed her finger to find that there was a small golden triangle on a pedestal on that side of the room.

“Is that... the artifact?” Fluttershy asked as she inspected it.

Twilight pulled out a book from the bag she had been carrying and began flipping through the pages until she came across a page with a black symbol of a triangle with an eye. “Yes, this is it.” Twilight began reading through the paragraphs of the page. “It says that whatever we do we mustn't touch it with our bare hands.”

“What?” Rainbow Dash said as she poked the triangle with her index finger.

“Rainbow!” Everyone in the room shouted. The small artifact began to glow, causing all of the mares and Spike to shield their eyes and back away. It shook violently and floated into the air before exploding. The yellow flames of the blast froze before converging on one spot to create a humanoid figure, which floated in midair.

As the ponies approached the figure, they noticed that the figure didn’t seem to have any fur, save for a patch of bubbly yellow fur on top of his head. He also had jet black, razor-sharp claws. He wore a yellow tailcoat with a strange, brick-like pattern on the tails and cuffs, a black vest with a what looked like a golden pocket watch in its pocket, a white dress shirt, black dress pants, black dress shoes, a black bow tie, and a black top hat with a yellow stripe. Over his right eye was a black eyepatch with a design similar to that of the artifact on it.

“What in the wide, wide world of Equestria is that thing? And who taught him his fashion sense? It’s just so… bizarre!” said Rarity.

The figure opened its eye and continued floating in the air. “AHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Ohhhhh, free at last! I don't know how much longer I could have spent in there without going insane! Oh wait, I already am!” The figure’s voice was echoed and slightly high pitched. Looking around the room he spotted the mares and their dragon assistant. “So you guys are the ones that freed me eh? Well thank you kindly ladies and dragonmen, you have no idea how much this means to me! Here, have some ice creams in the shapes of your heads.” He snapped his fingers and ice cream cones with ice cream that matched the groups colors with the shape of their faces appeared in their hands. “Well, now that I've awarded you guys I guess I can go now, Jackie, let's go!”

The figure looked around the room in slight confusion.

“Jackie? C'mon we haven't got all day, well actually we do but you get the point!” He still got no response. Floating around the room he searched for something with great concentration. “Jackie?” Finding nothing he summoned a black cane and twirled it in thought. “Hmm, that's strange, I could have sworn that we were both in that relic.”

Twilight and the others, save for Pinkie Pie, who was happily licking her ice cream double, weren't exactly sure what to make out about all of this. “Umm… excuse me?” she asked the floating figure. “Who or what are you exactly?”

“Huh? Oh, name’s Bill Cipher!” said Bill, tipping his top hat to the girls, and as a result, causing gravity itself to tilt with it, knocking everyone except Bill off their feet. “And you seven are Princess Twilight Sparkle, Rarity Elise Belle, Rainbow ‘Danger’ Dash, Pinkamena Diane “Pinkie” Pie, Applejack Apple, Fluttershy, and Spike the Dragon, Twilight’s assistant and/or slave.”

As Bill named off each pony, that pony’s jaw dropped like a sack of bricks as they were strongly reminded of Discord. “H-how do you know our names?!” asked Twilight in shock.

“Oh, I know lots of things, Miss Sparkle,” replied Bill, before his eye turned from its normal white and yellow to black and red and his voice got deeper. “LOTS OF THINGS…” As his eye and voice returned to normal. “Well, since my lovely wife isn’t here, I guess I’m stuck with you lovely ladies! So, what are we waiting for, Hearth’s Warming? Come on, let’s blow this popsicle stand!”

And with that, Bill floated out of the room, with the stares of the Mane 6 and Spike following right behind him.

“Well, Mr. Cipher certainly seems… eccentric,” said Fluttershy.

“Anyone wanna tell Discord we found his long-lost cousin?” asked Rainbow, looking between her friends.

“Well, in any case, we should probably grab the herbs and get out of here. Besides, somepony needs to have a word with him about his fashion sense,” said Rarity. The group all nodded before picking up a few bunches of the glowing cyan plants. Having their hands full they followed Bill out of the temple.