Life After the Blitz

by Captain_Hairball

Rating: mature
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Romance, Fluttershy, Adventure, Sex, Profanity, Violence, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 28983

Twilight Sparkle accidentally transforms Rainbow Dash into a stallion. Chaos ensues.

When Twilight Sparkle accidentally transforms Rainbow Dash into a stallion, Rainbow Dash doesn’t think it will be a big deal. He can just hang out and experiment with his new body until Twilight figures out how to reverse the spell, right? But now Twilight is using Rainbow to work out her brother issues, and even worse, Fluttershy is afraid of him!

But soon problems way worse than a little social awkwardness arise. What's a stallion to do?

Packed with sex, feels, drama, and action. In the same continuity as, but not a direct sequel to, Hot Harvest.

Rated mature for bisexual horse sex, autofellatio, incest play, light humiliation, light blood, masturbation, inter-dimensional group sex, selfcest, a gang bang, and straight conversion therapy.

Edited by Cerulean Starlight.

Published 2015-12-04 16:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-08 11:45:22 UTC

Folie à Deux

I was totally not okay.

But thank Celestia, I’d finally found Twilight Sparkle. She was working in one of her upstairs laboratories with the windows open, so I flew right in. “Hey, Twilight. Could I bug you for a second?” I tried to sound casual, but it wasn’t easy to keep my cool.

“Rainbow!” Twilight gasped, setting down the beaker full of glowing indigo liquid she’d been examining. “What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothing’s the matter,” I said, dancing lightly from my left hooves to my right and back again. “I just came by to chat. Why would you think anything’s the matter?”

Twilight sighed. “Well, first off, you’re wearing a dress. The one you wore to the Gala, actually. Is that the only one you have?”

It wasn’t the only one I had. But my Wonderbolts Reserves dress uniform was at the dry cleaner’s, and I was never going to get the stains out of the tight little red number I’d worn out last Saturday night. “Maybe I want to dress up a little now and then. It’s not a crime.”

“Uh huh. And you reek of perfume. Fluttershy’s perfume. And don’t tell me it’s from you two cuddling — she’d have to have been swimming in it for her to have gotten that much on you. Also, you’re doing a potty dance.”

I cringed. The burning between my legs was making it hard to concentrate. “Twi, can we please talk about this somewhere more private?”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “We’re alone in my castle, Rainbow. Spike is hanging out with the Crusaders today. We can talk here.”

“Twi, the acoustics in here are ridiculous.”

Twilight leaned towards my rump and squinted at the wrinkled fabric. Rarity’s magic had long ago worn out of it, and it lay heavy on my plot, making me look like a tank. Twilight stroked her chin with her hoof. “You have a venereal disease, don’t you?”

I collapsed into a puddle on the floor, and covered my eyes. “I don’t know. All I know is, something’s wrong back there.” I was not going to cry. I was way too awesome for that.

Twilight sighed. “You know I’m not a doctor, right?”

“But you’re smarter than any doctor. And if I go to the doctor I’ll have to be in a waiting room, and then I’ll have to go to the pharmacy, and everyone will know! My reputation will be ruined!”

Twilight snorted. “They’ll know you’re a sexually active young mare. These things happen. I just hope it isn’t anything serious. I do wish you’d be more careful.”

I raised my head. “But I was careful! I even made him wear a condom, for once!”

Twilight looked confused. “Really? Who were you with?”

I coughed into the inside of my foreleg. “Hgh Mlly.”

“What was that? I couldn’t hear you.”

I cringed. “Hugh Jelly.”

Twilight frowned. “Rainbow, if I’m going to help you, you’re going to have to be serious. Who did you have sex with?”

I curled up in a ball, and wrapped my forelegs over my head. “I seriously had sex with Hugh Jelly. We’d both had a few ciders, and I thought… you know, why not do it in a tub of jelly?”

Twilight started laughing, and didn’t stop. She rolled on the floor, hind legs kicking, wings flapping, front legs folded over her tummy.

I scowled. “Well, I’d never done it before,” I whined. “I wanted to know what it was like.”

“And what was it like?”

“Sticky.”

Twilight rolled over onto her front, and wiped a tear from her eye. “Rainbow, you know he doesn’t keep those tubs at anything like a safe temperature. They’re probably crawling with microbial life!”

“Only you’d know that, egghead.”

Twilight chuckled. “Being an egghead has its uses, you know. Come on, let’s get that dress off you and have a look.”

Twilight levitated a speculum, some swabs, and a tube of her special recipe animal birthing agent out of a nearby chest, while I shrugged out of my dress, turned around, and lifted my tail. I’d often wanted to lift my tail for my adorable, pudgy little nerd friend, but not like this.

“Woo whee! It’s like low tide threw up in there!” Twilight wrinkled up her nose, and turned her head away. “I can see why you were wearing so much perfume!”

“Twilight, please,” I whimpered, “can we just get this over with?”

“I’m sorry. Well, there’s certainly quite a bit of swelling. And some discharge. Just a second while I crank you open…”

I yelped, “Cold! Cold!”

“Sorry. Is there itching?”

“Yes!”

“Does it burn when you pee?”

“Yes!”

“Hmmmmm.”

“Are you done yet?”

“Honestly I have no idea what I’m looking for. It is interesting to see what you look like on the inside, though. I guess you’re very healthy. You know, aside from being bright beet red and dripping with green pus. Is that your cervix back there?”

“Twilight!”

“Just let me take a sample. I think I’m supposed to tell you you’ll feel a brief cramping sensation?”

“Ouch!”

Twilight took the sample, carefully withdrew the speculum, and levitated it over to one of the lab’s sinks.

“Is there anything you can do for me?” I asked, turning back around and tucking my tail protectively over myself. Twilight had put the speculum in a ceramic bin, and was pouring disinfectant over it.

“I don’t know, honestly. Let’s have a look-see,” Twilight said, fiddling with her microscope and some slides. “Looks fungal, I’d say,” she said after a while. “Okay. Right now I see a few choices.”

“Yeah? I’m desperate here, Twi.”

Twilight turned around to face me. “Option one. You go to a properly trained doctor, and get a cream or a suppository or something. You’ll probably be fine in a few days.”

I shook my head. “Not gonna happen.”

“I want to add before I go any further that number one is the best option. That is the one you should do.”

“Nope.”

“Okay, option two is that I attempt to magically burn away the infection. I can probably do it without seriously injuring you. If I’m careful.”

I pressed my hind legs together.

Twilight began to pace. She was working up to something she felt excited about. I really hoped it wasn’t her torching my vagina.

Twilight continued, “It will probably hurt. A lot. And take days to heal.”

I locked my knees against each other.

“Also there’s a chance — just the slightest chance, but definitely non-zero — that the process will sterilize you.”

I plopped my rump down on the floor. “Is there an option three? I’m really hoping there’s an option three.”

Twilight took a deep breath and levitated a thick book with an unmarked wooden cover down from a high shelf. “Yes. There is. I’ve been reading this old book on sex magic. It’s mainly about using sexual activity to channel the power of multiple unicorns into super-powerful spells. But…” Twilight began to flip through the pages.

I grimaced. “But? Don’t leave me hangin’, Twi.”

“There’s a section on preventative measures. Contraceptive spells, so that mares who are in heat can participate in the rituals. Prophylactic spells, to prevent the spread of venereal disease between participants. And, if those don’t work…” Twilight held the open book out towards me. The two page spread was covered in diagrams, magical symbols, complicated-looking instructions, and copious notes in Twilight’s illegible horn-writing. Most of the spread was dominated by a large magic circle that, in spite of being fairly simple in design, seemed to twist slightly in place. It made my head hurt to look at it.

I peered around the edge of the book at Twilight, who was grinning like an idiot and bouncing up and down on the tips of her hooves. “Twi, what am I looking at?”

“The most powerful curing spell I’ve ever seen! If it works the way it’s supposed to, this should cure any illness caused by an invasive organism! Not just venereal disease, but anything! From the common cold to ringworm to PIV!”

“Great!” I narrowed my eyes suspiciously. “So what’s the problem?”

Twilight slid a Daring Do and the Spear of Destiny promotional bookmark into the book, shut it, and set it aside. “Well, I don’t know if it actually works. I haven’t tried it yet. I’m skeptical that such a powerful healing spell wouldn’t be in general use, if it was really as effective as all that.”

“So I’d be your guinea pig.”

Twilight nodded. Her grin widened. “It’s a terrible idea, Rainbow,” she hissed between her teeth. “Don’t do it.” A vein under Twilight’s eye twitched.

I considered the potential consequences, but even nearly being cooked alive by Fluttershy’s animals again didn’t seem that bad, compared to losing my reputation for good health, vigor, and extreme sexual availability. “It’s a no-brainer, buddy. Let’s do this.”

———

In the year and a half since she had moved into the new palace, Twilight had arranged for certain renovations to be made. The basement as it had ‘grown’ had been a honeycomb of small chambers and twisting corridors, apparently meant for the storage of things no one ever needed to find again. Hyper-organized Twilight was having none of it, and had workponies come in and knock down all those walls and doors, leaving one huge, empty room about the same size as the throne room above. If long-term storage was needed, the palace had many other places to keep things, including a sub-basement and a sub-sub-basement.

Then she had stuffed it full of books, chests, and magical equipment, making it nearly as cluttered as it was before.

Twilight had copied the big circle from the book onto the center of the floor, and made me stand in it. Once I stepped inside, I began to get a feeling that the room was rocking slowly, like a boat in calm water. It made me nauseous.

Twilight taped some electrodes to my fur (not part of the spell, just for research purposes), then spent over half an hour staring at me, flipping through that big sex magic book, fiddling with the design of the magic circle, making notes on a pile of parchment, and muttering to herself. I sighed, and held my back knees together. This infection wasn’t doing anything for my bladder control. If Twilight didn’t get this spell done soon, then she was going to need to go get a mop.

“Twi, can I go take a piss?”

“No! You can’t move, or you’ll smudge the circle! Anyway, I think I’ve got it. Hold very still.” Twilight slammed the book shut, sucked in her gut, puffed out her chest, and spread her wings dramatically. Her horn began to glow purple, then white. A high-pitched metallic whine filled the room. Twilight’s eyes glowed with a fierce white light, and she began, very slowly, to rise off the floor. Then there was a sound like Bulk Biceps ripping a phone book in half, and things started to get really strange.

My perception of the room shifted — though my mane and tail remained perfectly still, the room seemed to be spinning around me like I’d stalled out and gone into a tailspin. A searing pain tore through my whole body, and I suddenly had the feeling of rapidly moving away from myself.

Then everything was back to normal. Twilight was grinning a big shit-eating grin at me, and my vagina didn’t hurt any more. “Did it work?” I asked, then froze. There was something wrong with my voice. What was wrong with my voice?

Twilight was upbeat, but her lower left eyelid was twitching again. “Oh, it sure fixed what was wrong with your vagina. Yep. In fact you may never have a problem with your vagina, ever again.”

I cleared my throat. “Do re me fa so la ti do. The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog. Lazy dog.” My voice was deep and slightly nasal, but gravelly. I sounded like Shining Armor with a sore throat. “Twilight, what have you done to me?”

Twilight seemed smaller. She raised her hooves placatingly up at me. “The important thing is to remain calm. Yes, we all need to be calm. Just take a deep breath. Lots of deep, deep breaths.” She began hyperventilating.

It wasn’t just Twilight. Everything seemed smaller, because I was bigger. And my vagina didn’t hurt, but it did feel really strange, like it was inside out, and in the wrong place. I flopped down on my plot, and leaned back, looking down my barrel. “Twilight, why do I have a dick?”

“Rainbow, I am so sorry. I am really, really, really sorry. I cannot even begin to tell you how sorry I am, because I am just that sorry.”

I remembered rumors I’d heard about how the Princesses liked to break out penis potions after particularly arduous policy meetings. Maybe this was like that, and little Dashie was nestled away safely behind those (rather dapper, if I did say so myself) dark blue balls. I reached down to shove them aside and…

Ow. Ow. That hurt. That really, really hurt. Sweet Celestia, that hurt.

Twilight was still babbling. “…And I promise that as soon as I figure out what in the name of the void I did to you, I will do everything I can to…”

I felt under my balls again, much more gently, this time. There was nothing there but the tightest ass in Equestria. Apparently I was a male, now. A colt. A stallion. A red-blooded, card-carrying, low-hanging, peeing-standing-up Equestrian male.

Speaking of peeing, I didn’t have to any more. That was weird.

“…and if there’s anything I can do to make you more comfortable, I…”

“Twilight.”

“…promise that I will do everything in my power to help you…”

“Twilight.”

“…but you have to understand that I can’t just reverse the spell. Magic doesn’t work that way, and…”

“Twilight!” I barked. I could be really loud, now, apparently. It felt good.

Twilight sparkle stared up at me, a look of abject horror on her face.

“Twilight, it’s okay.”

“You’re not mad at me?” Twilight squeaked.

I ran a hoof through my mane. “I’m not mad, Twilight.”

“But I turned you into a colt.”

“Yeah, but you got rid of my infection, too. So, mission accomplished, right?”

Twilight chuckled. “Heh. Yeah. I guess.”

I noticed Twi’s eyes dart up and down my body. I tried not to think anything of it. Even though her eyes were spending more time down than up. I was probably really scientifically interesting, now, right? “Hey, and it if it was going to happen to one of us, at least it was me, right? I mean, can you imagine if this had happened to Rarity? Or Fluttershy?”

Twilight twisted a thick strand of her mane around her hoof. “At least we know Fluttershy’d have a nice voice.”

I chuckled. “Well, yeah.” My nostrils flared as a faint but appealing scent drifted into my nostrils — the smell of a mare who wasn’t in season, but was down to party anyway. I felt the familiar feeling of lust in my groin, mixed with a strange, swollen, stiffening feeling. I felt something down there brush my belly fur. A quick glance confirmed that I was, in fact, getting my very first hard-on. And hey, I had an awesome dick — long and slim, with a cobalt blue shaft, mottled robin’s egg blue on the end.

Twilight had definitely noticed. She smiled up at me coyly, and said, “You have a really nice voice, too. It sounds a little like… like someone else I know.”

“Hey, thanks.” I found myself scooting slowly towards Twilight, a predatory grin growing on my face. I stared down at Twilight’s soft, pudgy belly, her plump thighs, her cute little teats that always looked like she’d just started nursing. I wanted it. I wanted it bad.

Twilight was trembling a little. “Rainbow?”

“Yeah?”

“I need you inside of me.”

So I pushed her roughly onto her back, and shoved my muzzle in between her legs. I inhaled deeply, her sweet, pungent scent filling my nostrils and blowing away whatever shreds of reason I had left. I gave her a big, slobbery lick to make sure she was wet enough, bit one of her nipples way too hard, and scrambled up on top of her, belly to belly. I cocked my hips, and started hammering away with my brand new dick, only to realize that I had no idea how to use the damn thing. The flat, uselessly blunt head went everywhere: Twilight’s navel, the inside of her thighs, everywhere but where I wanted it. I finally lodged up between her fat ass cheeks against her plothole. Desperate with lust, I had settled on trying for a dry anal fuck when Twilight’s horn glowed, her magic grabbing me painfully by the cock and yanking it upwards.

“Oh no!” squealed Twilight. “You are not going in there.” Her magic clenched around me and guided me up her cheeks to her moist, delicate flower. “Try that. Much more fun for everypony.”

I gasped as my cock slid past Twilight’s slick lips and into her body. The sensation was… well, new was the only way I could describe it. It felt a little like having my clit sucked on, but on a vastly larger scale. She was a good fit, deep and snug, but not too tight, so that I could get in all the way without too much trouble, and get right to humping.

“Holy Celestia,” I said, grinning down at my friend, “Twilight, your pussy feels amazing!”

Twi smirked, braced herself against the floor with her elbows, and hiked her rump off the cold stone. “You’re not bad yourself, stranger,” she huffed, wrapping her hind legs around my back and pulling herself onto me, hard. “Bonus points if you call me ‘Twilie’.”

“Isn’t… isn’t that… what your brother calls you?” I ground against Twilight’s groin, in balls deep, feeling her silky tunnel clenching and moving all around me. The filly was bucking her hips against me, our bodies slapping together roughly in midair.

“Don’t think about, it, baby,” she purred, eyes sparkling. “Just do what feels good. Even if you know it isn’t right.”

These Canterlot fillies were crazy in bed — sometimes they even weirded me out. “T-Twilie,” I moaned, experimentally.

“Oh, Shining!” gasped Twilight, her pussy clenching around my dick.

“Twilie, your pussy feels so good,” I groaned, grinning like a maniac. This was weird, but it sure got my blood flowing. I glanced left and right at Twi’s magnificent wings, spread across the floor. A princess. My first time out as a stallion, and I was fucking a princess. I mean, it was really just nerdy old Twi, so not, like, a real princess. But still, how awesome was I?

Pretty damn awesome.

“Oh, Shining, I love you.” She reached up to stroke my mane.

“And I love fucking you, Twilie,” I purred. Gotta keep the wording diplomatic, or it gets weird.

“Oh, Shining, Shining, Shining!” Her Highness was definitely starting to lose it. She tugged at my mane, and bit at my neck. Once, twice, the third time hard enough it felt like it broke the skin. I felt a flood of white hot pleasure rising up from my loins. No! It was too soon, and… what was that feeling? Something was coming out of my dick! Was it bleeding? I jerked roughly out of my friend’s pussy, spraying ropes of hot white jism across Twilight’s upthrust belly.

Oh. Right. The cum thing.

Twi’s overfed plot, deprived the support of my hips, slapped down on the cold floor. With a frustrated whimper, she pushed one hoof between her legs, working it frantically until she started shaking. She forced her other hoof into her mouth, biting back a scream, and her back arched as she came. Then she lay still, all four legs spread out across the floor, barrel heaving with gasps as my cum dried slowly on her belly and tail.

My heart sank. I’d come way too soon. She’d had to finish herself. I’d been a lousy lay. “I-I’m sorry, Twilight. This doesn’t usually happen. I…”

Twilight pushed herself up on her elbows. She was blushing and smiling. “You were wonderful. We should probably have a little talk about what just happened, though.”

“No.” I was not in the mood for a friendship talk. I launched myself into the air in a panic, only to be stopped cold when my head rammed into the arched, root-vaulted ceiling. “Ouch!”

“Rainbow! You need to listen to me!” Twilight sat up on her haunches. Normally, a good, or even mediocre fuck would leave me dying for more. But as a stallion, orgasm brought clarity, instead. All the lust was gone from my mind, replaced by fear. Fear of Twilight, with her dangerous magical experiments and creepily specific incest fantasies. Fear of this new body. And my old pal, fear of commitment. Where was the door?

“Rainbow, come back down here!”

The door was bolted several times. Trivial for a unicorn to unlock, but a pain in the ass for me to pull open with my teeth. So I just kicked it. This new body was even stronger than my old one, and the wood began to splinter satisfyingly with just one kick.

“Rainbow! Your body is flooded with unfamiliar hormones right now! You aren’t fit to be out in public!”

CRASH!

Twilight was shouting. “Specifically, the hormone testosterone. Which influences…”

CRASH!

“…sex drive…”

CRASH!

“…risk-taking…”

CRASH!

“…and aggression! None of which you need any more of!”

SLAM! The door came down, and I was through it. My wings were a blur as I zipped down the corridor and over the stairs up to the throne room, desperate to get out before Twilight remembered she could restrain me with her magic.

Twilight’s voice echoed down the corridor after me. “Rainbow Dash, you owe me a new door!”

Author's Note

My characters are really inconsistent about safe sex. You guys be more careful than they are, okay? :ajsmug:

Narcissus

I skimmed over the rooftops of downtown Ponyville, twisting to avoid chimneys and climbing to zoom over the higher roofs. I knocked off a shingle or a brick here and there as I passed — steering was proving to be a problem. This body was a lot heavier than the one I was used to. My extra wing strength compensated for that in terms of getting and staying airborne, but I was front-heavy now, which threw off my balance. Plus more weight meant a slower rate of climb, and a wider turn radius. Most infuriating of all, I was definitely accelerating more slowly, and I bet that my top speed had been impacted as well.

Coming to the edge of town, I dropped down to a dozen or so hooves over the ground. Flying nap-of-the earth like this was a risky proposition even in my old body, let alone this new one, and if I had been honest with myself, it wasn’t really necessary. Sure, flying low to the ground would keep me out of line of sight from Twilight and her spells, but there had been no sign of pursuit from her at all. It occurred to me that it might compromise her ‘royal dignity’ to be seen in public with cum matted in her belly fur. And that in the past Twilight really hadn’t gone out of her way to keep me from doing stupid things.

No, I was doing this because it was fun.

I tore through a peach orchard. Branches shook, and peach tree leaves spiraled frantically to the ground in my wake. Up ahead, there was a low stone fence, and then a field of wheat. I flew just over the tall stalks, my bow shock parting them beneath me and making them wave violently behind.

I wondered if I could work up to a sonic rainboom at this altitude. The property damage would be immense, but knowing that only made me want to do it more.

Truth be told, I was flipping out. I felt like I had as a filly in my first heat — on edge, desperately horny (already horny again!), and furious at everything. I didn’t have a reason to be angry, except maybe at Twilight for doing this to me. And I had to admit, she had warned me. And she’d let me have sex with her. That was pretty awesome of her.

It didn’t matter. I just wanted to destroy something. I banked hard and headed for the Whitetail Woods, where I could do the most damage with the least chance of hurting anypony. I reached the edge of the forest in seconds, and the trees swayed away from me as I blasted my way under the canopy of green leaves.

As branches whipped by above and below me, I started to suspect that this had been a bad idea. I was totally going to run into something.

No. I could do this. No matter what was between my hind legs, I was still Rainbow Danger Dash, best flier in Equestria. Trees began to groan and creak from the shock of my passage as I picked up speed. With a mighty flap, I lifted my body enough to just pass over the top of one leafy branch. Knots and twigs raked across my chest, and I glanced back in pain and surprise. How dare that branch! Then I rammed right into the branch in front of me.

I fell into a spiraling, out-of-control spin. I pulled my forelegs over my eyes as I slammed through branch after branch, until I splashed down into the Whitetail creek.

I staggered to my hooves, dripping wet, and ran through my patented, much-used post-crash physical checklist. My wings were fine, and that was what was most important. Eyes intact. Legs banged up, but no sign of breaks or sprains. There were some bruises and scrapes on my barrel, and one ugly gash on my shoulder, but it wasn’t bleeding too badly. My new plumbing seemed fine. Based on my experience with it so far, I was sure if there was anything wrong, it would let me know right away.

I was okay.

I waded to shore and shook the water from my fur. There was a small, still pool off to the side of the creek upstream a little ways, and I climbed up there to check for cosmetic damage, and to check out what what I looked like now.

“Well, aren’t you a handsome fellow,” I said, gently brushing a floating leaf away from my reflection. I had a blunt, almost brutish muzzle, set off by strong cheekbones and a sturdy, stallionly jaw with a slight fluff of beard. Intense violet eyes. A manestyle not too different from my old one, just a little longer and more spiky. It looked like there was some product involved? That was odd — I didn’t normally use product, and I certainly hadn’t put any in that morning.

Come to think of it, I didn’t smell like Fluttershy’s perfume any more, either. Weird. Maybe it had washed off in the river.

Oh well. Twilight should have some answers soon enough.

I rinsed my wound with river water, and bent down for a little drink. It might not be safe to drink from lakes and rivers outside of Equestria, but the Equestrian Weather Service had a whole department devoted to keeping the ground water clean.

I returned my attention to my body, which it turned out was a magnificent specimen. Lean and sleek, and cut like an ancient pegasus statue. Such muscle definition! As a mare, I’d striven for this kind of look, but my stupid female biology had insisted on clinging to that body fat. This body didn’t seem to have an ounce of wasted flesh on it.

Not that I mind a curvy mare. I like a filly with junk in her trunk. I just don’t want any junk in mine.

“Dashie likes,” I purred, sliding my hooves down the ridges of my abdominal obliques towards the good stuff. I’d snuck enough peeks beneath Twi’s brother’s tail to know why ol’ Pretty Purple Princess had picked me to live out her naughty little incest fantasy — I was smaller than Shining, both overall and in the undercarriage, but the shiny dark blue sheath and balls did look very similar.

Thinking about Twilight, and about her sexy big brother, made my shaft start to stiffen, and I helped it along with slow, gentle strokes from my flexible, leathery hooves. “There you go, little guy. Come on out. Don’t be shy.” I shuddered at the feeling of my hooves running along that elegant, flared shaft. It wasn’t better or worse then stroking my old package, but it was a whole new toy to play with.

I thought about how a lot of Equestrian stallions could suck themselves off. I’d watched a couple of my male lovers do it, and It seemed like a good time, if I could pull it off. I bent my neck down as as far as I could go, and cursed. If I stretched out my lips I could just brush the edge of the flare. So frustrating!

Not one to be defeated, I hopped to my hooves, and began a series of pre-flight stretches. Then I rolled over and planted my haunches up the side of a tree. Gravity was clearly working in my favor, because right away my flare bonked me in the nose, leaving a smear of pre-cum behind it.

“Score one for Rainbow Dash,” I chuckled. I licked the drooling flare, lovingly lapping up my sticky juices, and tasting the salty flavor of my skin. Then I strained my neck up, mouth open, so that I could slide my cobalt lips around the flare.

“Mgh yhhh!” I moaned, hips shivering with delight. I’d sucked many a dick in my twenty-two years as a filly, but now I was finding out what it felt like. Turns out it felt amazing. Every little move of my cheeks and tongue sent new tingles through my body. I started fucking my own face, pumping my hips mercilessly. My jaw was already aching from being open so wide, but this felt so good that I didn’t care.

I tried every trick I knew — I tried the filly flare flick, and it was heavenly. I tried the double dip dunk, and almost gagged myself, but that was great, too. I couldn’t get far enough down the shaft to do the ring rinser, but maybe I could show Fluttershy how later.

I popped my mouth free for a second, spraying my face with drool and pre as my cock bounced out of my mouth. I spit in my hooves and I wrapped them around my shaft. I pushed my cock back into my mouth, and I started to pump my hooves rapidly, from my balls to my lips. I considered holding back, just to try to improve my endurance, but it just felt too good to stop, even for a second. Before I knew it my own thick, salty cum was filling my mouth, threatening to overflow my lips. I gulped, then gulped again, then a third time. Damn, I put out some serious volume! Go me!

I lay back, the bliss of afterglow filling my body. I looked down at the limp hose of my dick lying across my belly, and at those two magnificent balls, which still looked really full. “Way to go, guys,” I chuckled. “I think we’re gonna have a good time together.”

I flopped down onto my side and lay there, listening to the river and the birds. The weather was nice, warm but not too warm, and the grass by the riverside was cool and soft. I could totally fall asleep like this, but that cut on my side stung. It was going to get infected if I didn’t get it looked at. Plus I figured I’d probably be horny again in another half-hour or so. Luckily I knew someone who I thought could help me with both.

So I rolled over, and stretched out my back legs, then my front, and then my wings. With a few flaps, I was up and on my way to a little cottage at the edge of the Everfree Forest.

Getting Inside the Music

“Hey, cowcolt. What can I get you?”

“A pint of Sweet Apple and a shot of Poni,” I replied.

Berry Punch raised an eyebrow and ran a hoof through her shaggy mane. “That’s Rainbow’s order. You her brother?”

I shook my head no. “Twilight.”

Berry chuckled. “Gotcha. Condolences on your taste in friends. First drink is on the house.”

There was a decent crowd at Berry’s Bar even though it was a Sunday night. Mostly they’d come to see Vinyl and Tavi playing, so I didn’t have any trouble getting a stool at the bar. I had some of Vinyl’s solo albums, but I didn’t know about this new classical dubstep thing they’d been doing since the wedding. It seemed to be attracting a following, though.

I drank slowly, keeping a steady buzz going for the next few hours. It took more alcohol than it usually did — this new body was going to be expensive. It was also ravenously hungry, but Berry’s kitchen was closed, so I had to make do with bar nuts.

I was too busy drinking my feelings to notice when the show ended and the place emptied out. Vinyl and Tavi were talking quietly at the other end of the bar, and Mac, Caramel, Trouble Shoes, and Cheerilee were giggling like schoolfillies over a pitcher in the back corner. Otherwise, the place was empty. I kept catching Tavi glancing my way and I kept looking to my left trying to figure out what she was looking at. Must be watching the clock. It had gotten late — almost closing time.

“We haven’t seen you here before, love. You new in town?”

I jumped, and turned to see Tavi reclining against the bar next to me. Good-looking mare. Nice mane. The bow tie worked for her.

“Twilight,” I said, finishing off my glass of cider and raising my hoof to Berry for another.

Tavi raised an eyebrow at me. “You’re here to see the Princess?” Her voice was smooth and refined, but her pronunciation had the ring of the rougher parts of Trottingham — the mark of a mare who’d come up a long way in the world.

“What? Oh. Um, yeah. I’m Rainbow Dash’s, um, brother. Rainbow, ah, Blitz.” There. ‘Blitz’ was Germaneighan for ‘lightning’ so it fit my cutie mark. A vaguely plausible lie beats a convoluted and confusing truth any day of the week.

Tavi smiled. “Then it’s an honor to meet you, Mister Blitz. Your sister is a remarkable mare.”

I grinned. “Yeah. She’s pretty awesome.”

Tavi took a sip from her wine glass. “Will you be in town long, then?”

“Absolutely no idea,” I replied with perfect honesty.

She leaned towards me conspiratorially. “I don’t mean to be excessively forward, but my colleague and I were considering retiring for the evening, and we were wondering if you wouldn’t mind joining us for a nightcap.”

“Yeah, okay. I’ll come along,” I said, coolly finishing my last cider. Inside, I was doing a victory dance. Even as a male, I still had the magic. Because yes, threesomes just fall into my lap all the time. Of course they do. I’m Rainbow Dash.

Or Blitz.

Or something.

———

I’d seen some territorial roommates before, but I’d never seen a home so exactly divided between two completely different décors. Stately elegance — broken up by ragged piles of sheet music and at least a dozen violins and cellos in various states of maintenance — on the left, rock-and-roll bachelorette pad on the right, divided by a clean line down the middle. The bachelorette pad included a couch big enough to pass for a bed, so that was where we wound up.

I leaned against the corner of the couch sipping twelve-year Shetland whiskey and watching the two greatest musicians in my town making out. Tavi sat with her legs neatly tucked under her and Vinyl leaned against her with one leg hooked over the gray mare’s withers. Vinyl was the more aggressive partner, nipping at Tavi’s lips and probing the other mare’s mouth with her tongue. Tavi responded with gentle but assertive submission, guiding Vinyl with little kisses and laps of her tongue. They liked to do this thing where Vinyl would roll her tongue into a tube, and Tavi would pucker up her lips around it, and then the white mare would tongue fuck her friend’s face. I took another sip of whiskey. Life was good.

Naturally watching all this this made me so hard I could feel my pulse in my dick. I began to slap it rhythmically against my belly. Tavi took notice.

“We didn’t ask you over to watch, love. Why don’t you bring that thing over here?”

I rose to my hind knees and scooted over towards them, shot glass balanced on one hoof. I pushed my cock in between their faces and they broke their kiss to begin rubbing their lips along the sides of my shaft. Tavi moaned into the side of my dick, looking up at me with heavily lidded, dark purple eyes. I couldn’t tell what Vinyl was looking at — she was still wearing her sunglasses. She had ring or a stud or something through the center line of her tongue, giving her licking a rough force that I liked.

“I get the feeling you two have done this before,” I said, sipping my whiskey.

“Best mates. We share everything,” said Tavi, fluttering her eyelashes. Everything except their taste in interior design.

The mares’ teasing was driving me crazy. I loved the feeling of their lips and tongues fluttering over my shaft, leaving me dripping wet with spit, but I needed more. I tapped the white one lightly on the ear. “You wanna open up for the Dash? I mean, the Blitz?” Vinyl nodded, and Tavi scooted aside so she could watch. I knocked back the rest of my whiskey and tossed the glass over my shoulder. Vinyl took my flare between her lips. She ran her tongue slowly around the outside edge, making me bite my lower lip and groan with pleasure. Tavi smiled demurely up at me. “You’ll find that Vinyl favors the rough trade, love,” she purred.

I put my hooves behind Vinyl’s ears and began to thrust. I went gently at first, testing her limits, but she wasn’t having it. She pushed her head forward, straightening out her neck and opening her jaw so that my flare slid right into the top of her throat.

“Sweet holy fuck,” I moaned, “she’s amazing.”

“Isn’t she just,” purred Tavi.

My cock was slick with spit from earlier and I had no trouble pushing until her nose was buried in my pubic fur. I bucked against her face, bumping her lips with my pelvis until her sunglasses started to bounce down the bridge of her nose and I could see her wicked magenta eyes looking up at me. She made wet, guttural gagging noises as I fucked her face, but I could tell they were just for show. Vinyl had everything under control. I consider myself an expert cocksucker, but I had nothing on this mare. I wondered if she gave lessons.

Tavi rolled onto her side against the back of the couch and pushed a hoof down between her legs as she watched me fuck her best friend’s face. She began to sing in a mocking tone, “Everypony’s sayin’ you should learn to express your voice. But if talk doesn't seem like it's the answer, luckily you have a choice…” Vinyl glared sideways at Tavi, but didn’t stop letting me bounce my balls off her chin.

Vinyl began to hum around my dick, her throat vibrating as Tavi continued the song. I tossed my head back and closed my eyes, glad I’d jerked off so much today. I wasn’t coming any time soon, and I was glad. I wanted this to last.

A wave of strange dizziness washed over me. I felt silky flesh bumping my cheek fur, my nose and my lips. I’d felt it often enough — the feeling of two cocks playfully wrestling to be the first in my mouth. I snapped my eyes open. No. No stallions anywhere. Though I could have sworn I could still faintly hear happy male voices.

I shook my head. I’d had way too much to drink.

Vinyl finally tapped out on my thigh and pulled off of my dick, drooling copiously onto the couch. Tavi leaned over to give her friend a wet, sloppy kiss, then offered the hoof she’d been masturbating with for Vinyl to lick clean. “Vinyl, be a dear and fetch that jar of Twilight Special, would you?”

The white mare nodded, hopped up, and bounced off towards one of the bedrooms. Tavi and I both watched her lean, pert plot leaving the room, then turned back to each other. “I never feel like I can compete with Vinyl’s oral talents,” she complained.

“I’m sure you’re fine.” I bopped her on the end of the nose with my cock. “Boop!”

She glared at me, but she hooked her hooves over my shaft and pulled my flare into her mouth. She didn’t even try to deepthroat it. Instead she slowly worshiped the first few quarter-hooves of it, feeling every curve and cusp and pulsing vein with her delicate tongue. She sucked me with a gentle, persistent pressure that I could feel all the way to the root of my dick. “Oh, fuuuuck,” I moaned. “Yeah, you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.”

Vinyl trotted back, horn glowing from levitating a glass jar full of transparent goo in front of her. When she saw what we were up to, she started whistling that song again. Tavi snorted with laughter around my cock. There was clearly some sort of in-joke here I wasn’t getting.

“Oh, like you’re one to talk,” said Tavi, standing up and turning around. “I find my jaw is getting tired. I think I would like to have the music in my other end, please and thank you.”

Tavi lifted her tail to one side. I gave her round little plot a lick and a couple of fierce nips, and then pushed my nose in between her cheeks. Her pussy was lovely, with soft, pouty pink lips framed by her her fluffy gray pubic fur. I inhaled her unusually sweet scent, and stroked the lips with my tongue, enjoying the soft feeling and delicate flavor. Tavi’s clit was big and thick and round, big enough to pinch with my lips while I lashed it with my tongue.

“Oh!” Tavi screamed. “Oh, do go on!” So I did. She screamed more, and loudly.

“You have the best-tasting pussy I’ve ever eaten,” I rumbled happily. “Which is saying something.”

“Oh, sir, you do make me blush,” Tavi moaned.

Vinyl opened the jar with her magic, and spread two heaping hoof-fulls of that wonderful goo (hoofmade by the Princess of Friendship and Sexual Lubricants) over my shaft, then wiggled in underneath us so I could fuck her face some more. With the extra lubricant, it was like I was fucking an unusually loud pussy. You know, one with teeth. And a nose over it. Okay, bad analogy.

Anyway, I was enjoying the texture of Tavi’s mare parts and the wonderful authenticity of Vinyl’s fake gagging noises when another wave of dizziness hit me, and things changed. My eyes were open this time, so I could clearly see that I was being spit-roasted by two stallions. Well, I could only see one of them — the gray one’s barrel was on my face, and the cock spearing my mouth open held my head in place. But I could feel a fat, heavily pierced cock pounding deep into my pussy. Definitely not my ass. Definitely my pussy. What the fuck?

I jerked back, and cried out, only to find myself once again a male servicing two mares.

“Everything all right back there?” asked Tavi, craning her neck to look back at me.

“Yeah, yeah. I just, um, almost came,” I said, wiping mare goo from my chin. It wasn’t exactly a lie.

“Vinyl! Do go easy on the poor colt. I’m not half done with him.”

I wound up spending the next half hour or so eating mare pussy. Poor, poor pitiful me, right? Tavi was a tough nut to bust — loud and responsive, sure, but it took my sucking her clit black and blue with my hoof fetlock-deep in her pussy and one of Vinyl’s up her ass to the damn elbow for us to actually get her off. Her release brought a flood of mare juice with it, soaking my face and the cushions of Vinyl’s couch.

Vinyl immediately scooted her ass over to the dry side of the couch. She smirked, bucked her hips cutely a few times, and winked at me over the top of her shades. By this time, of course, my jaw was aching and the root of my tongue was burning, burning, but I couldn’t say no — pussy is always the best thing on the menu.

I started out with some nipple play, to give my mouth a chance to recover. Vinyl didn’t have much by way of teats, but she did have big, juicy nipples that were the bright color pink I often find on light-colored ponies. They were pierced with little loops. I chewed playfully on those big, pink gumdrops, tugging on them lightly by the rings. Vinyl’s response was to grab me by the ears, and tug my head so back so hard I practically bit one of them off.

“Oh yeah!” she roared, and punched me in the shoulder. Her first word of the evening, at least to me. All right. I got the picture. This one liked pain.

I bit the other nipple, as hard as I was able to will myself to do. It got a moan, but nothing like the previous enthusiasm. So I backed off and took a deep breath. Sex was no time to be squeamish. I leaned back in, and bit down like I was biting a carrot. Then I twisted my head. I tasted blood.

“Fuck, yes!” howled Vinyl, and pushed my head roughly down towards her flower.

There were no fewer than six silver studs through her labia, and another one of those rings through her clit. I started slow, licking at her clit and probing as far as my tongue would go into her tight little tunnel. She had an interesting flavor — smoky and sort of herbal, in addition to generic mare pungency. I guess she smoked a lot. A lot of something.

I moved to the studs next — I figured they were mainly for the benefit of whoever was on top of her, but she groaned well enough when I bit into the skin around them and tugged on them. But I was impatient to get to the main attraction. I slid my tongue up under her clit’s heavy hood, and began flicking the ring roughly. Every flick made her jerk. Her forelegs were over her face, her head arched over the arm of the couch.

I tugged at the ring, a little bit at first, but every tug made her hips twitch harder, so I just kept at it until I was tugging her little nub well out from under the hood every time. I started to add twists to my routine. Her cunt juice was soaking my little beard, and making the cushion underneath us wet. I tasted a little bit of copper, but I didn’t know if that was blood or something in the jewelry.

“You’re evil!” she wailed. “Stop teasing me and bite it!”

I did as I was told. I tugged the flesh out by wiggling the tip of my tongue through the ring, and I bit down with all the lust-fueled aggression I could muster. Vinyl screamed, and squirted against my chin. She wrapped her hooves around my head and pushed my face into her pubic bone so hard I was afraid she was going to break my nose. I held her clit in my teeth for several more seconds, feeling her spasming gradually slow until she was pushing me away as roughly as she’d pulled me in.

I staggered back, feeling light-headed, probably from lack of air during the all-you-can-eat pussy buffet. There was a huge pool of wetness under Vinyl. Pussy juice, I hoped — I didn’t think I’d bitten her that hard.

Tavi had been playing with herself and watching us from the other arm of the couch. “I think this couch has had it for tonight. Shall we retire to my bedroom?”

Tavi went first, I followed her, with a dreamy-eyed Vinyl leaning against me for balance. She had lost her glasses while I was eating her out, and her blue mane was sticking out in all directions. She looked amazingly hot like that, but Tavi was a better view — walking in front of us, we could both see that her plothole was still gaping from Vinyl’s hoofing earlier.

Vinyl nudged my cheek with her muzzle, a huge, shit-eating grin on her face. She glanced meaningfully at her friend’s already-brutalized ass, and mouthed “get her.” So I walked up to Tavi, pushed her front end to the ground with a hoof on her withers, and climbed on top of her. My cock was still slick with lube and Vinyl’s spit, and was narrower than the white mare’s hoof in any event. My dick slid easily right into Tavi’s ass, up to my balls.

“You cheeky bastard!” grunted Tavi, bucking back enthusiastically against me. “Vinyl put you up to this, didn’t she!”

The other mare walked around me and lay down on the floor at Tavi’s side. I watched them kiss for a while as I plundered Tavi’s ass. She was hot and silky inside. Not so tight after Vinyl’s hoofing, but she didn’t need to be — my balls were aching to cum.

“Oh, fuck, ladies. I’m almost there.” Vinyl slid over and laid her head against Tavi’s treble clef cutie mark, and opened her mouth.

I stared in disbelief. “Seriously? Whoa.”

Vinyl nodded. So I carefully slid my cock out of Tavi’s ass, and into Vinyl’s mouth. I bore down on her, knowing she could take it, humping until my balls were smacking her chin again. I was amazed she was willing to do this. Even Flutterslut the amazing anal adventuress hesitated to do ass-to-mouth. I mean, Tavi was clean — with our high-fiber diets, ponies are pretty awesome anal sex partners. Unlike say, griffons, just to pick a totally random example. But nothing is ever perfectly clean, you know?

“She’s a nasty one, isn’t she?” giggled Tavi.

“Truly hardcore. Where did you find her?” Vinyl’s throat squeezed around me, roughly massaging my cock.

“I dug her up while I was slumming it in the Canterlot techno scene. Canterlot fillies, aye? Luna bless ’em.”

“I hear she d-do da da gyahhhh!” I screamed, as a blinding orgasm ripped through my body. Seriously, I came so hard it literally fucking hurt. Vinyl slid back off my cock until only the flare was in her mouth. Then I felt myself squirting, filling the mare’s little mouth until her cheeks bulged.

I flopped back onto my plot, my limp cock flapping free of Vinyl’s mouth. Vinyl stood up. Tavi lay down on her back, forelegs sprawled over her head, mouth open. “What the…” I mumbled, as Vinyl leaned down to kiss Tavi open-mouthed. My cum flooded out over her lips and tongue. Some of it rolled over Tavi’s immaculately groomed cheeks, but most of it landed on her cupped tongue. I watched in disbelief as the two shared a sensual kiss around a mouthful of my cum.

Damn.

As I was sitting there, slack-jawed, another wave of dizziness hit me, and I was somewhere else, sitting on a bed, working the undercarriages of two stallions, one white, one gray. I felt the glorious ache of prolonged, rough penetration in my ass, my throat, and between my legs, so I was probably a girl again? My mouth was open, and almost right away, the white one started squirting in it, filling it with smoky-tasting spunk. I was a little surprised, but I don’t mind the taste of cum, and I could tell from the afterglow I was feeling that these boys had made me cum hard and repeatedly. They deserved a bit of a show. The white one grabbed his friend’s cock, and pulled him over, helping him jerk himself off into my mouth. He screamed like a schoolfilly as he came, his copious seed splattering my cheek and landing in my mouth to mix with his friend’s. The white stallion squeezed his friend’s dick from base to tip, squishing out the last of his cum into my mouth.

I stuck my tongue up through the pool of cum in my mouth and swirled it around, enjoying the stallions’ approving stares. Then I closed my mouth, and swallowed.

I could still taste the mix of sweet and smoky cum when I was jerked back to my male body, now pressed between two sticky mares. We had collapsed into a sweaty cuddle pile on the dividing line in their living room. They were already asleep, and I closed my eyes and drifted off with my head on Tavi’s chest.

A few hours later I wriggled out from in between them, careful not to wake them up. That would be awkward at this point.

It was cool and quiet outside. There were still a few stars in the sky, but it was beginning to grow light at the eastern edge of the sky. The really hot days of summer hadn’t hit yet, and my weather ponies had a busy day ahead of them keeping it that way. I spread my wings, leapt into the air, and headed home to grab a quick shower and a cup of coffee before work.

Brother from Another Mother

Weather ponies don’t need much of an excuse to celebrate.

Weather control is a lot more difficult, dangerous, and stressful than civilians realize. Lightning, hail, tornadoes, and hurricanes — all those things that never touch the ground in Equestria still exist in the sky. We sweat, suffer, and sometimes die so that the ponies on the ground can have blue skies and plentiful crops, and we are damn proud of it.

So if your foremare shows up one morning as a forestallion, it’s a good enough excuse to go down to Berry’s Bar after work and get him blind, stinking drunk. My co-workers kept shoving ciders and shots at me and slapping me on the back, as if I’d wanted to be male. Not that I minded being male — it was all the same to me, and the cock was fun — but it had just sort of happened to me. I knew a couple of ponies who’d gone through tartarus to get what I’d just been given for free.

Anyway, a couple of hours in I’d snuck off to the restroom to puke. I’d blown right through my new body’s extra alcohol tolerance. I knelt in front of the stinking throne, hurling until there was nothing left to purge, and then hurling some more. When my guts finally settled down, I hauled myself up by the flush handle. I was done for the night. Maybe I could squeeze out the window? I turned to go.

“Hello, sailor,” purred Cloud Kicker.

“Um, hi?” I squinted at her. She was blocking my way to the sinks.

“I just wanted to tell you that I really, really like your new look.”

“Um, thanks?” I poked at my mane with a hoof. I’d had it trimmed on my lunch break; I don’t really like having long hair.

“Like, I really, really like it.” She pushed at my chest with her hooves. I stumbled backwards and plopped down on my ass on the toilet seat. “I thought you were hot when you were a mare. But now…” She cleared her throat. I think she was trying to growl?

“That’s nice… but… I’m your supervisor. And you’re drunk. And this restroom is really poorly cleaned.” My guts twisted inside of me. They’d managed to pull together something else to puke up, and were raring for a second round.

She ran her hooves down my belly, and over the new Little Dash. “Oh, that’s not how the Rainbow Dash I know talks. C’mon. I know you want this.” She flicked her tail, and cocked her hips, shaking her flat little plot. Sober, she wasn’t my type at all. Even drunk, didn’t see any appeal to her besides her insides being warm and moist.

“I’m also not feeling very well. You need to get away, right now, Kicker.” I pressed one fetlock against my mouth, and scooted back across the toilet seat, away from those groping hooves.

“Just a quickie. Nopony has to know.” I watched in horror as she sunk to her knees and began to quest forward with her drunken mouth.

Which is when I threw up on her.

———

“Twilight? Twilight, I gotta talk to you!” I had fit through the restroom window, after all. It was tight, but it’s surprising what you can accomplish in an emergency. Now I was in Twilight’s palace, draped across my throne, limbs and wings limp. I’d been calling out for Twi for half an hour — she clearly wasn’t home.

I needed to talk to somepony. Anypony. But after what had happened with Fluttershy, I really didn’t want to barge in on a friend who didn’t know I was male now. Though small town rumors being what they are, the others had probably heard by now. I bet Pinkie would be cool. I smiled. I bet that filly knew some great things to do with dicks.

“Hey.” It was Twilight’s voice. I looked up. She was lying over the arm of Fluttershy’s throne, watching me.

“Where did you come from?” I asked, sitting up and rubbing my eyes.

“The front door. I was out stargazing. Why are you sleeping on your throne? And why do you smell like a distillery?”

“I wasn’t asleep.”

“You were snoring, Rainbow.”

“Oh.” I hung my head. “Fluttershy and I had a really big fight.”

“That’s horrible! What happened?”

“I scared her.”

Twilight rubbed her chin thoughtfully. “That makes sense. You’re big and loud now.”

“Whose fault is that?” I growled.

Twilight looked sheepish. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” I took a deep breath. “Are we cool?”

“I don’t know. Are we? I kind of took advantage of you in a vulnerable moment.” She shuffled her hooves against the arm of Fluttershy’s throne, and looked over at the empty cutie map table.

“Yeah, what was up with that?”

“Brother issues.”

“Obviously. Wanna talk about it?”

Twilight smirked wryly. “Maybe when you’re sober.”

I blinked. I didn’t feel drunk any more. Just tired, headachy, and really, really blurry. “I guess I’d better go home.”

Twilight narrowed her eyes at me. “Rainbow, you’re in no condition to fly. Why don’t you sleep here tonight?”

My ears and other parts of my anatomy stood straight up. “What? Yeah!” Then I realized that probably wasn’t what she meant. “I mean, I’m sure you’ve got a spare bedroom or six.”

Twilight slipped off her throne, and walked slowly over to me. She stood up on her hind hooves, reached up to drape her forehooves over my shoulders, and looked right into my eyes. My mouth must’ve been hanging open, because she slid her tongue right inside. Then she made a gagging noise and pushed me away.

“Ack! What’ve you been eating?!”

“Oh. Yeah. I threw up, earlier.”

Twilight wrinkled her little ski-jump nose up with disgust. “Okay, let’s go brush your teeth and give you a bath, and we’ll try this again.”

———

“We aren’t going to wake up Spike, are we, Twi?”

“Dragons are really deep sleepers. Once he’s down, he’s out — usually until nine or ten in the morning.” Twilight floated her toothbrush up and squeezed a perfect pea of blue toothpaste onto it.

Twilight’s bathtub was huge — more like a small swimming pool than a tub. I was standing in it up to my neck in bubbles, watching Twi brush her teeth. “So,” I asked cautiously, “um, can I ask a potentially sex-derailing question?”

“As long as it isn’t about my brother,” she said, spitting in the sink.

“Are we having a, uh, relationship?”

Twilight chuckled as she climbed up the marble steps to the bath. “You and Fluttershy have an open relationship, don’t you?”

I swam over to her. There was a low seat just under the water around the edge of the tub; we both curled up on it with our cheeks and necks together. “Yeah. She doesn’t take nearly as much advantage of it as I do, though.”

Twilight rolled her eyes, and rubbed her muzzle gently against mine. “Oh, imagine that.”

“It’s just… you know. I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”

Twilight draped a hoof over mine and squeezed. “Rainbow, Honey. I’m the Princess of Friendship. Romantic love is Cadence’s portfolio. In fact, I’ve had an awful lot of sex, but I’ve never really had what I’d consider a lover.”

I was not having it. “Bullshit. You’ve had a lot of sex?”

Twilight nipped my ear lightly. “Rainbow, I come from Canterlot. The whole city practically bobs up and down connubially in the nighttime.”

“But you didn’t have any friends there!”

“You of all ponies should know that you don’t need to be friends with someone to have sex with them. In a lot of ways it makes it simpler if you’re not.” Twilight began to kiss me lightly along the edge of my jawline, occasionally tugging at the fluffy fur there with her teeth. “Friend sex is really nice, though.

“I used to see sex as just a tool — a way to release tension, a source of pleasure or comfort, a commodity to trade with ponies who had something I wanted. Now, I don’t know what to think. The last five years have been too busy for me to look for a lover even if I wanted one. Which I’m not sure I do. There’s only ever been one colt that I cared for, and he’s unavailable for a variety of reasons.”

I tilted my head back sensually as she nuzzled along the tendons of my neck. “What about that guard from a while back? Brash Entry, or something?”

Twilight bit the side of my neck hard. “Ugh, don’t even mention him, ever again.” She lifted a hooftowel over to me with her magic and slid off the bench, then walked over to a raised area near the middle of the tub, where she could stand with most of her body above water. “Rub me down?”

I took the small towel in my mouth, dipped it in the water, and then lifted it over her back. I watched the water and bubbles roll down the smooth curve of her flanks. I ran it down over her shoulder, and along her ribs and under her belly. I followed the bubbles with the hooftowel, which she enjoyed until I got to her plump little stomach.

“Eeeeek! Tickles!” she yelped, hopping away from me. I snapped the little hooftowel at her rump — there wasn’t a lot of force behind the blow, but it still made that magnificent plot jiggle.

“Hey, let me show you something,” I said, transferring the towel from my mouth to my hoof.

Twilight stepped backwards, horn glowing warningly. “No tickles?”

“Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye. Now spread your wings.”

I ran the towel gently over the leading edge of Twilight’s wing, gently cleaning the short feathers there. Twilight shivered, and flexed the powerful muscles of her wing’s biceps. “Oh, Rainbow…”

I chuckled, impressed with her muscle growth. When she’d first gotten her wings, they were as soft and bony as a foal’s foreleg — even weaker than Fluttershy’s wings. “You’ve been working out. I’m impressed.” I dropped the hooftowel into the bath and began grooming her wings with my mouth. I ran my tongue through the short feathers — such a different texture from fur or skin. Soft, at least in the short feathers on the muscular part of the wing, but with a wiry stiffness that tickled my lips. I pushed my tongue through the feathers so I could feel the skin beneath.

Twilight’s sides heaved with shuddering breaths. Her wings were stretched out stiff, her limbs locked still. “Please be careful,” she whispered nervously.

I rubbed the bridge of my muzzle against the underside of her wing, gently stroking the hollow of her wingpit with my cheek. “Number one rule of being a pegasus, Twi — never do anything to hurt or endanger another pegasus’ wings.” I took a fold of feathered skin in my teeth and pinched it gently, making her gasp. “But sometimes it’s okay to scare each other a little.”

Twi shivered powerfully from withers to rump. “I… I think we need to get in bed.”

We left the tub filled, pausing only long enough to towel off before galloping for her bedroom. Twilight leapt onto the bed ahead of me and rolled onto her back, wings spread and legs held up playfully. I slid up against her side and set to work on her left wing. The fleshy part of the wing is much smaller than you’d think — the stiffness of the primary and secondary feathers give the illusion of more bulk than is actually there. The wing itself is thin at the tip, delicate, gradually thickening towards the base, where large muscle groups anchor it to the shoulder. I followed the curve with kisses down to her wingpit, then kissed over the keel of her chest, and climbed across her barrel to the other side.

“It feels so good, but I’m scared,” whispered Twilight. “You told me bones and tendons of the wing are very delicate. I only just got my wings. I don’t know if I could bear to have them hurt.”

“That’s one of the reasons they’re so much fun to play with,” I said, ruffling her wingpit feathers with my nose. “The fear gives it spice.”

Twilight pulled her wings in abruptly, and rolled over onto her side. “Oh, wait, wait, I just thought of an analogy!” She rubbed my rib cage roughly. “Quick, sit on my face and call me ‘Twily’.”

“Is this another one of your experiments, Twi? Because those haven’t been working out for me too well lately.”

Twilight laughed, and rolled back onto her back again. “No, I’ve done this before. Get your plot up here.”

Twilight guided me up so that I was kneeling on my gaskins over her muzzle, my back hooves resting against her shoulders. “You ready for this, PBBBFF?” she asked

“I don’t know, because I’m not sure what you’re going to do to me. Also, PBBBFF?” I looked down at her lovely round face. She’d always seemed so innocent, so the sight of her grinning up at the big blue blue cock bobbing over her face filled me with lust.

“Pseudo-Big Brother Best Friend Forever. Not explaining any more. Need my mouth for other things.”

“Twi, you… Oh, hey!” Twilight had wrapped her full, dark purple lips around one of my balls and sucked it all the way into her mouth. My thighs shuddered, and I arched my back in pleasure and surprise. “Tea-bagging. I should have guessed. Mgh, Twilight, you are a filthy, filthy filly.”

“Role-play, please,” she said, breaking her suction with a wet smack.

“Fine, fine. So, um, ‘Suck my balls, Twily’?”

Twilight grunted, apparently not impressed with my acting abilities, but opened her mouth wide for me. To make it a proper tea-bagging, I needed to be in control, so I lowered my hips slowly down, pinning her to the bed and filling her mouth with my smooth blue sack.

“Mmmmgh,” moaned Twi, hooves rising up to caress the hard curves of my ass. It was a pretty little mouth, barely a fit for one of my balls. It was hot, and wet, and wonderful. Her sharp little teeth rubbed against the skin of my sack — I saw her analogy with the wings now. The fear was very much the same, especially since my balls were even newer than Twi’s wings.

“Do you like the way that tastes, Twily?” I groaned, making another shot at getting into my role.

“Mgggh hhmmmm!” she replied around her mouthful of balls. I chuckled. I have to admit I got an evil thrill out of hearing that nagging, lecturing voice stopped up by my sack. I mean, I love… I mean, really like Twi. But she sure does get bossy sometimes.

“What was that, LSBWF?” I asked, lifting my balls an inch or two out of her mouth.

“LSBF What?” She had to tilt her head to one side to get a good look at me around my cock.

“Little Sister Biggest Whore Forever,” I answered, lowering my ballsack back into her mouth.

“Rainbow, I don’t think that’s… ngggghf!” Her protest was cut off into spitting incoherence as my right nut filled her mouth to capacity.

“That’s Shining to you, Twily.” I reached down to hold her by her cheeks, and began dipping myself up and down, sliding my balls out into her open mouth. “Don’t go calling me by somepony else’s name — you wouldn’t want your BBBFF to find out what a slut you’ve been behind his back, would you?” I shifted myself up again, dragging my balls out of her mouth with a wet pop so that she could answer.

“No, Shining. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me,” she whimpered, actually sounding earnestly remorseful. She was so cute!

“Well, I don’t know,” I rumbled. “That was pretty naughty of you. What am I to you, anyway?”

“Y-you’re my BBBFF,” Twi whispered, big dark purple eyes staring up at me.

I slid back, my soaking wet balls leaving a slimy trail of spit across her chest fur. “And what does that stand for, LSBWF?”

Twilight blushed. “Um, Big Brother Best Fuck Forever?”

“That’s right. Open wide.” She opened her little mouth with a big, sweet-sounding “Ahhhhhhhh!”, and I plugged it right up with the flare of my dick. I leaned against the headboard, and began pumping my hips, moving my flare back and forth over her tongue. She placed her hooves on my thighs, so that she could control the depth and speed of my thrusting. I watched my dick sliding against her lips, pushing them up against her teeth with every thrust, and pulling them out poutily when I pulled back. I lost myself in the sensation of her sweet, wet mouth rubbing against the end of my cock. She kept eye contact with me the whole time, submissive but perfectly confident. She was an amazing lay, and she knew it.

“Oh, Twily, your mouth is so… so… Ah, oh, fuck no!” I yanked my cock out of her mouth, splashing drool across her neck and chest, desperately willing myself not to shoot. Twi was on the ball — her horn glowed, and I felt a strange, not unpleasant clamping sensation around my balls and the base of my dick. I sat on her belly, gasping, trembling, as the need to come slowly cooled down.

Twi clucked. “We have got to do something about that hair trigger of yours, BBBFF.”

“It’s cool. I’m cool. I’m okay.”

“Hmmmm. We’d better do me before it’s too late.” She fluttered her eyelashes at me and wiggled her back legs, bumping my hips with her gaskins. “LSBWF needs her pussy licked.”

“Only too happy to help.” I slid back down her body, kissing lightly over the ample curve of her belly. I nuzzled through her fur until I got to the slightly thicker and longer puff over her sex. I ran my tongue through her luxuriant pussy fur and inhaled deeply, filling my nose with her musk. I dipped my tongue down, caressing her lips and tasting her pungent mare goo.

“Oh, Shining!” Twilight’s hips shuddered and she locked her back legs around my head, holding me in a perfect prison of plump, jiggly flesh. I dug my tongue into her pussy, caressing the insides of her tunnel. My soft nose ground against her delicate little clit. I hooked my hooves around her thighs, pulling myself close so that I could fuck her with my tongue. She ground her pussy against me, hips gyrating wickedly. A few minutes of that, and Twi came, her back arching, her whole body trembling.

We pulled apart, both gasping — her from exertion, me from lack of oxygen. Twilight was sweaty, her usually razor-neat mane in disarray.

“And how was that, Sis?” I asked, licking the taste of her pussy from my lips. “Did you…. Aaaah!”

Twilight’s horn glowed bright purple, and I felt magic wrapping around my dick and the dock of my tail. “Inside me. Now!” she snarled, and yanked me into her. My gaskins found purchase on the bed, and I slammed my cock into her cunt as roughly as I could. Her head smacked the headboard with a hollow thump, and she put her hooves up to stop me from pushing her across the bed.

I leaned down towards her open mouth, sliding my tongue against hers as we rutted. I don’t kiss lightly. Sex is just sex. Kissing is… oh, I don’t like using the ‘L’ word, but kissing is love. Friend love, in this case, but it’s love just the same.

I’d like to say we fucked for long, sweaty, athletic hours, but really I was ready to come again in a few minutes. I tried to pull out, but Twilight wrapped her hind legs around me, holding me in as I spurted inside of her.

“Oh, Twi… Twi! Twi!” I flushed as my orgasm’s heat cooled, realizing I’d gone out of character. “I mean, uh, Twily.”

“It’s okay. We can be ourselves again.” She stroked my forelock out of my eyes, smiling gently up at me.

I slid off of her and snuggled up against her side. I felt calm, and safe, and… sad. I felt really sad.

“What’s the matter, honey?” asked Twilight, sensing that something was wrong.

“I miss Fluttershy.” My voice cracked a little as I spoke.

“Don’t worry, about it, Rainbow. I’m sure you just freaked her out. It’s not like that’s hard to do. I’ll talk to her in the morning and see if we can get you two together to talk things out.” She patted me on the shoulder. She looked tired. What time was it? It must be early morning by now.

“I pushed for sex. I shouldn’t have pushed. We’ve always had trouble about sex. The sex is great, amazing, but she doesn’t want it anywhere near as often as I do. I shouldn’t have pushed, but I was…”

“You’re just a pony. You make mistakes from time to time.” Twi yawned. Her eyes fluttered closed. “Everypony makes mistakes. Friendship lesson #1,789. Anyway, if she doesn’t want to have sex with colt-you? She’s out of her mind.”

I laughed and kissed her on the cheek. “You’re a good friend.”

“I’d better be. It’s kind of my… kind of my job. Thing. Rainbow, could you move the banana tree, it’s blocking my… my chariot…” And then she started snoring.

Which is when I remembered about those strange hallucinations I’d had while I was with Vinyl and Tavi last night. I’d meant to ask her, but it was too late now. Oh well. Probably not a big deal, anyway.

My stomach rumbled. I’d polished off the last bottle of ketchup in my fridge when I’d gotten home this morning, and gulped down a hayburger on the way back to work after my haircut, and that had been it. I hadn’t eaten since noon, which was probably technically yesterday, at this point.

Luckily, Spike knows how to stock a kitchen.

There was a box of fresh clementines on one of the big stone prep tables. I ate all of those, not even stopping to take off the skins until the twelfth one in. Dry storage had a whole shelf of those spicy potato crisp things Spike likes. I didn’t think he’d miss the three bags I ate. I washed it down with a couple of warm juice boxes and was heading for the walk-in refrigerator to see if they had any cold ones when I heard hoofsteps and voices somewhere upstairs.

I crept up the nearest staircase towards the voices, moving slowly. It sounded like a mare and a stallion, talking intently about something. They didn’t sound like thieves, or at least they weren’t making any attempt to be quiet. What were they saying?

“So are your, um... you know, your mare, um, parts feeling better?” That was the stallion’s voice.

“Oh, yeah! That potion you gave me fixed ‘em right up, Doc!” The mare’s voice. There was something familiar about it, but I couldn’t place it. “I took the new booty out for a shakedown flight last night. Amazing results. A good time was had by all.”

“Rainbow! You can’t do that! It’s not your body!”

I narrowed my eyes. Rainbow? Okay, this was really weird.

“Oh, don’t be such a stick in the mud, Dusk. Do you think whoever stole my body is using it to mow the lawn and pick up groceries?” The mare’s voice was harsh, high pitched and raspy. I cringed. Was that really what I sounded like?

The voices sounded like they were right next to me. I could hear hoofsteps on the stone, but I couldn’t see anything. “Um, hello?” I said turning around in a slow circle. “Is this, like a haunting, or am I going crazy, or hearing the future, or what?”

The voices were silent for a second. Then I heard the mare again. “Um, Dusk? What was that?”

A faint purple glow suffused the hallway, and then I could see them, as if through a torn curtain. One was a pudgy, handsome, overly earnest-looking alicorn stallion, with the exact same coloration and cutie mark as Twi. I’d never seen an alicorn stallion before; I didn’t know they even made those. The other one was me. Filly me! Original flavor! I’d never gotten such a good look at my ass before. Was it really that big? I whistled — I was amazingly hot.

“Hey,” I said, stepping forward, “I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’m Rainbow Dash, and…” I brought my hoof down, and there was nothing there. I fell through the floor, and into darkness.

Everything was gone. There was no up, no down. My wings flapped uselessly — there was nothing for them to beat against. I couldn’t breathe. It was so silent my ears rang. I was screaming, but I couldn’t hear my voice. I could see myself, but I was glowing dimmer every second. Soon I would lose sight of myself, and then maybe there would be nothing else, forever and ever.

But I was wrong about everything being gone. There was something moving in the darkness, hard and segmented and slimy, probing at my body. The darkness had found me, and it was hungry.

Then there was light, and the thing was gone. I felt legs wrap around me. There was a sensation like breaking the surface of water, and I was surrounded by light, and warmth, and the sound of Twilight sobbing. I found her body, and wrapped my forelegs around her. She was bruised, and bloody, and I could see rubble around us from where she’d blasted through the walls of her castle to reach me. Behind me, the tear in the air that I’d stepped through was still there, but the other ponies were gone. There was only darkness, and a faint sound of air being sucked into it. As I looked, I realized there was movement in the darkness — it was crawling, like ants on rotten fruit. Twilight’s horn glowed again, and the tear slammed shut.

I buried my face against Twilight’s chest and cried.

Mea Culpa

“I did something really, really bad.”

It was the next morning. Twilight had called an emergency Elements meeting. The six of us met at the Carousel Boutique. Rarity had a deadline to meet, and there was no privacy at the castle with all the workponies repairing the walls.

Fluttershy kept staring at me, except when I tried to make eye contact with her. The awkwardness was palpable, especially since I still wasn’t sure if she was actually still mad at me, or if I’d just freaked her out and now she was too embarrassed to talk to me.

Twilight and I had explained everything that’d happened yesterday and the day before, with the exception of the brother stuff — that was gonna stay between Twi and I. We left in all the vaginal infections, magical disasters, lovers’ spats and casual sex, though. Bless my friends, none of them looked judgey about any of it. They did look really worried, though.

When we were done. Pinkie raised her hoof.

“You have a question, Pinkie?” said Twilight.

“More like an observation.” Pinkie lowered her hoof. “Okay, none of this makes any sense. It’s all just a bunch of random sex and weird things happening, and normally that would be my jam, but you two seem really upset. So, yeah, I guess, what’s up with that?”

Twilight took a deep breath. “I thought the spell I cast on Rainbow was a healing spell. I… I knew there was a major extra-dimensional component, but I thought it was just venting excess magical energy to the void. You see that in a lot of really powerful spells. But when I had another look at it this morning, I realized I had it backwards. The healing elements were meant to keep Dash alive while the spell did its real work, which was ripping Rainbow’s soul out of her body, and stealing her a new, healthy one from a parallel universe.”

Rarity’ sewing machine stopped. Everyone was staring at Twilight.

“I told you it was really, really bad.” Twilight’s voice cracked as she spoke.

“Twi,” I asked, suddenly suspicious, “who wrote that book?”

Twilight swallowed hard. “It’s a lost manuscript by the Marquis de Saddles.”

My wings flipped straight out. I snorted and stomped my hoof. “You used unfriendly sex magic on me?”

Twi raised her hooves, her horn glowing, ready to defend herself. “My intent was friendly! I thought I could handle it! Use it for good!”

I took a deep breath. I was the master of my testosterone, not the other way around. “Okay. I forgive you. So what went wrong?”

“I’ll need a visual aid. Rarity, can I borrow these?” Twilight levitated a couple of square scraps of fabric, a pair of scissors, and a sewing pin from Rarity’s work table.

“Of course, darling. Anything you need.”

Twilight hovered the two squares with their flat sides together. “Parallel universes are nestled side-by-side, like so, in a higher dimensional space known as ‘the Bulk’.”

Pinkie raised her hoof again.

Twilight continued. “Now, I swapped the two Rainbows’ bodies. But the souls those bodies belong to are still tethered to their home universes. So there’s a sort of magical bridge connecting the two.” She pushed the sewing pin through the two pieces of fabric. “Like so.”

Pinkie waved her hoof frantically.

Twilight sighed. “Yes, Pinkie?”

“Twilight, I’m pretty sure universes aren’t flat.”

“These scraps of fabric represent realities localized on 3+1-dimensional D-branes in an eleven-dimensional multiverse. Does that help?”

Pinkie lowered her hoof, and bounced cheerfully. “Oh, totally. Thanks for clearing that up.”

“Anyway, the most powerful force affecting magic is the will and emotions of individual ponies. Any time either Rainbow experiences a powerful emotion — like, say, a big fight with their special somepony — it sends a shock through the magical connection, like so.” Twilight wiggled the pin violently, tugging threads loose, and making a little hole. Fluttershy cringed, a guilty look on her face.

Twilight levitated the scissors. “Now, let’s say, in a cruel freak of synchronicity, that both Rainbows somehow managed to have an intense, incredibly fulfilling casual threesome at the same time, and with alternate universe versions of the very same ponies.” Twilight removed the pin, inserted the scissors into the hole the pin had made, and opened them part way, making the hole much wider.

“Now the hole is much easier to damage. Great sex with a close friend?” Twilight spread the scissors further. “A delicious midnight snack? I’m not sure about this one, but the timing seems to support it, so why not?” The hole now spread almost from one edge of the scraps to the other. Twilight plucked up a thimble. “The hole is now big enough for Rainbow to fall through into the screaming darkness of the Bulk and almost die. Of course, I came to the rescue, but what effect do you think that little drama had?” She tore the scraps in half, and tossed them back onto Rarity’s work table.

Applejack hesitantly raised a hoof. “So what happens if the hole gets any bigger?”

“Best-case scenario, there’s a large, permanent hole in the universe that the things that live in the void can swarm through, looking for magical energy to absorb.”

Fluttershy began to slip back underneath a rack of Rarity’s dresses. “Th-things?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes. Just monsters, basically. But scary ones, and a lot of them.”

Applejack quirked an eyebrow. “That’s the best case?”

Twilight shrugged. “Worst case, one or both universes completely unravel. Maybe something even worse than that? There isn’t a lot of empirical data on this kind of thing.” She took a deep breath. “I need to reverse-engineer that spell and see what I can do to resolve the situation. Getting the Rainbows’ bodies back with the correct souls should at least prevent any further damage.”

Rarity looked at Twi over the tops of her little red reading glasses. “And what about us, darling? We can’t possibly sit idly by while you do all the work.”

“Yes,” said Twilight, slipping into full Princess mode, “I need help from all of you. Rarity — finish your dresses and get some sleep. I’m probably going to need some unicorn backup once the spell-casting starts.”

Rarity nodded, and turned back to her sewing machine.

“Pinkie, I’m expecting an all-nighter, at best. I’ll be sending Spike over to Sugarcube for a lot of coffee. I know you guys usually close at six, but can you be ready?”

Pinkie saluted sharply. “Hazelnut, tons of cream, two sugars!”

Twilight smiled. “Great. Rainbow, Fluttershy. I need you two to listen to me closely.”

Flutters poked her head out from under the rack of dresses, ears forward. I glanced between her and Twilight nervously.

“Listen: I know you two just had a really big fight.”

Fluttershy and I nodded as one.

Twilight continued, “And I know you’re both hurting inside.”

We nodded again.

“It is tremendously important that you not do anything about that right now.”

Fluttershy’s lower lip twitched. Tears welled up in her eyes.

I glared murder. “What the actual fuck, Twi?”

Twilight stomped emphatically. “Rainbow, I know how much she means to you. If you two have another fight the damage to our local space-time could be catastrophic! And if you fix your problem, Celestia help us all. Your childhood sweetheart make-up sex could literally tear both universes apart!” Twilight waved her forelegs in the air furiously. Fluttershy whimpered, and slid back under the dress rack to sob silently into the hem of a silk taffeta cape.

For the first time since I’d changed, I wished I was still a mare, so that I could guiltlessly slap Twi a good one. “Thanks a lot, Twi.”

“We have to think of the greater good here, Rainbow. Applejack?”

“Yes, Twi?”

“Your job is to watch Rainbow and keep her out of trouble.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “Oh. So nothin’ difficult, then.”

“I have utmost confidence in you. All right. One last thing.” She let Princess mode drop. Her head dipped down. Her shoulders slumped. Her wings drooped. “Fillies, I really messed up. I thought I could handle anything, and I made a little mistake, and now that mistake is getting bigger and bigger, and it could ruin everything. I know it’s not enough, but I’m really really sorry, and… could I please have a hug?”

And we all crowded around her forelegs out, huddling together. Because friends are friends, even when they make mistakes.

Trying to Hold It In

It was the next afternoon. I had called in “knowing Twilight” to work that morning, and gone off to hang out with Scootaloo and Applejack in that skate park that the Crusaders had built down by the schoolyard when they were trying to get their cutie marks as general contractors. We found Discord there, doing something weird. He’d created a flat black rectangle about two hooves across. When he drew on it with his claw, platforms appeared in the air. We watched in fascinated confusion as he carefully laid out lines of hovering blocks. He adjusted them lovingly, erasing and redrawing with a care and attention to detail I don’t think I’d ever seen from him before.

“Um, what are you doing?” asked Scootaloo, squinting at Discord’s creation.

Discord held up his paw, his tongue poking out of the side of his mouth as he carefully adjusted the positioning of a platform. “It’s an obstacle course,” he said when he was done. “I remember doing something like this when I was a boy. Or at least I think I do. It’s someone’s memory, anyway. I can never be sure.”

Applejack frowned. “What’s a boy?”

Discord sighed. “Sort of like a living cabbage fart, but louder and smellier. Would one of you like to try the course?”

“Buck yes!” shouted Scootaloo, pulling on her helmet and leaping over to her scooter. She kicked off and whooshed up the steep ramp to the starting ledge, little flipper wings buzzing. She zipped down the flat beginning of the course, launched herself into the air towards the first platform, immediately slammed into an invisible object, and rammed back into the ground.

“Ow!” she said, rubbing her head through her helmet. “That wasn’t fair!”

Discord rolled his eyes. “Of course it wasn’t fair. I designed it. Here. I will add shiny objects to engage your tiny pony mind and show you where to go.” He tapped his tablet, and hoof-sized, floating bits appeared over the platforms. I flapped down towards one and reached out to touch it, then jerked back when it vanished with a small flash and a ringing noise.

“What the…!” I flapped backwards, startled.

Discord chuckled. “Ready, little orange pony?”

“And how!” Scootaloo buzzed into motion, jumped her scooter towards the first line of bits, and ran into the exact same invisible block as last time. “Discord!” she howled, helmet pushed down over her eyes by the impact.

Discord flopped on his back laughing. “Fool you once, shame on you. Fool you twice, also shame on you. Please, do try again.”

Scootaloo pushed her helmet back off her eyes, scooted back to the start, and kicked off again. She kept her head low on the first jump and skidded sideways across the first platform, coins dinging and puffing into nothingness as she passed. If Discord had set up any more invisible barriers, she managed to avoid them, and in a few seconds she slapped the top of the flagpole at the end of the course and fluttered down to the ground. “Ha! Beat it.”

Discord sat up. “Oh, very well done. Clearly, the course is too easy. Here, let me make some adjustments.” He began carefully narrowing platforms and widening jumps as Scoots rolled back to the start.

I socked Scootaloo in the shoulder. “I’ll race you this time.”

“You’re on,” she smirked.

The fifth time through, Scoots missed the last, highest platform. I scooped her out of the air and set her down before her yelp was halfway out of her mouth.

“I dunno if we should be doing this, gang.” Applejack was looking a little nervous.

“What are you? Chicken?” Scootaloo never let an opportunity to try and shift that particular never-live-it down moment off of herself.

“I just don’t know if this isn’t too excitin’.”

I rolled my eyes. “Please, Applejack. This is barely ticking over for me emotionally.”

Scoots bounced in a circle around AJ. “You wanna try it?”

AJ smirked. “Do I?”

Twilight appeared in a flash of purple light. She had bags big enough to hold money in under her eyes, and seemed to be trembling slightly.

“What exactly is going on here?” she snapped. “Applejack, you were supposed to be keeping Rainbow out of trouble.”

“Shoot, Twi, we were just tryin’ to have some fun.”

Twi sniffed. “Fun. Accelerated heart rate. Release of endorphins and dopamine. Potential for stressful injuries. Fun is not okay.”

I rolled my eyes, and bit back some ill-advised comments. Loving… I mean, really liking someone, totally only as a friend, only makes them more annoying when they’re being a pain in the plot. I took a deep breath to calm myself. The world as we know it might end if I lost my cool. “What do you want me to do, be bored?”

Twilight nodded sharply. She was definitely shaking. I wondered if coffee was all she’d been using to stay awake. “Yes. Bored would be good. But not too bored. The last thing we need is you getting depressed.”

“So I should aim for moderately bored,” I deadpanned.

Twilight sighed loudly. “Can’t you just stop feeling things until I figure this out?”

“Twi, ponies can’t just turn off their feelings,” AJ said.

Twilight looked suspicious. “We can’t?”

AJ shook her head. “Nope. No way.”

Twilight tapped her chin, a faraway look in her eyes. “That explains so much.”

“So, uh, how’s saving the universe going?” said Applejack, trying to change the subject.

Twi’s trembling increased. “You mean saving the universe from myself? It’s going terribly, thank you for asking. I thought I could repurpose the human-world mirror device to seal the rift, but the only thing I’ve accomplished in the past twenty-four hours is completely disassembling it, and I now can’t figure out how to put back together again! I tried sending a message through to the universe I stole Rainbow’s stallion body from, but if it got through, then they either didn’t notice, or they’re ignoring it.

“Anyway, I was just checking in. I’ve got to get back to work. Don’t have too much fun. I mean that literally — stop having fun, right now.” And she vanished in another flash of purple light.

Discord rolled his eyes. “Why do you hang out with that nag?” A tiny, pointy-hooved Twilight popped into existence over his shoulder, dancing back and forth and going “Blah blah blah do what I say because I’m a pretty pony princess blah blah blah” in a squeaky little voice.

“Hey,” I said sharply, flapping over and kicking his hurtful caricature into fairy dust, “she’s trying to save our lives, pal.”

“Yours, not mine. I can leave this universe any time I want.” Discord picked up his black box with a slow smile. “So Applejack — how do you feel about spikes?”

———

When the sun started to go down, all of us but Discord went back to Sweet Apple Acres for dinner. Applejack invited Discord, but he told us he’d rather choke on a goat and puffed off to wherever he goes when he’s not actively being a dong.

After the foals had gone to bed, AJ and I went up to her room with a jug of cider, a deck of cards, and a couple of joints.

AJ loves that shit. Understandable, for a mare who keeps herself wound up so tightly. Normally a lazy high like that isn’t my thing — hard exercise, sex, and a good cider buzz are more my speed. But if I was supposed to stay calm, maybe Sweet Apple Acres’ third most famous product was just what I needed.

“So, Applejack,” I asked, taking a toke and passing the joint back to her, “are you sure it’s a good idea for us to be sharing a bed, if I’m supposed to stay out of trouble?” I started to shuffle the cards.

AJ held the little cigarette to her lips and inhaled. “Rainbow, it ain’t never safe to be around you. But I gotta make sure you don’t do anything foolish like sneak off to Granny Smith’s bedroom in the middle of the night. Now deal.”

“I’d hit that. Okay, the game is Dodge City Stud. Princesses are high, Discord is wild.”

AJ chuckled. “Rainbow, you’d hit a chunk of rubber tire you found in the road. Okay, in for five bits.”

“I might, at that. How hot is the tire?” I pushed a small pile of bits over towards Applejack and looked at my cards. A seven of clubs, and a three of diamonds in the hole. I kept my poker face on, though — a stoned AJ is pretty easy to bluff. “Seriously, though, I’m not in the mood tonight. One trip into the silent, horror-filled void a week is enough for me.”

———

Later that night, I lay awake in bed next to a snoring Applejack. In spite of the cloud of blissful apathy I was floating in, I was horny as buck. Being back to back with that tough little mare didn’t help with that. With her sunny, freckle-faced filly-next-door looks and those muscular Apple family haunches, AJ was pretty high up my “to do” list.

My cock was pulsing against my belly, and my hooves drifted towards it. I jerked them away. I started to drift off to sleep, and my hooves drifted right down again. I wished that I’d once in my life hesitated to clop if I felt like doing it.

I visualized Discord’s scolding, pointy-hooved Twilight.

“Twi,” I thought, “can I please come? I promise I won’t get too excited.”

Pointy Twi’s little button eyes narrowed. “Is it masturbation? Or is it sex with someone you love?”

“Um…”

“Do you love yourself, Rainbow?”

“You bet!”

“Then no! Hooves off!”

I groaned. Pointy Twi was a such a killjoy. Also, fantasizing about begging Twi to let me come wasn’t making me any less horny.

I tossed and turned until Applejack woke up and punched me in the ribs. Then I lay still, stewing. I must’ve fallen asleep eventually, though, because I started to dream.

In my dream, there were slender yellow forelegs with fluffy fetlocks on either side of my head. Something thick and heavy was pressing in between my ass cheeks. All right! If colt Fluttershy was what my subconscious wanted, I was game.

Flutterguy’s deep, resonant voice whispered in my ear, “Oh, Blitz. You can’t believe how long I’ve wanted this.”

“Yes, I can, buddy,” I purred, bearing down and opening for him. “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life.” He slid inside me, and I bit down on my lower lip. Damn, he was huge! Almost as big as Macintosh, it felt like. Luckily I like ’em large. I reached in between my back legs… and found mare parts. I chuckled. It was just like Fluttershy to got stampeding for the ponut, even when an easier option was available. I pushed down on my clit with the edge of my hoof, thrilling to the old familiar sensation. No big old dick flopping around, just push button convenience. To tell the truth, I was starting to miss some things about being a mare.

“Oh, Butterscotch. Butterscotch!” I groaned as he pushed his cock up my ass. Wait, Butterscotch? What?

My haunches trembled as he rammed inside of me. His thrusts were hungry, unrelenting, and insistent. It felt like his flare was up under my ribs! He grabbed my mane in this teeth and tugged, yanking my head back painfully. “Yes!” I howled, “Harder, you magnificent son of a… Oh Solaris!”

Flutterguy took my advice to heart, throwing his weight down onto me, pinning me down to… to whatever we were fucking on. I hadn’t looked, and now I was too distracted to check. It was hard, whatever it was. My whole pelvis ached from his relentless pounding, and he kept biting my neck and ears and cheek, hard enough to leave bruises under my fur. He screamed into my ear, making my ears ring, and I felt his flare widen inside of me as he came in my guts. I pushed down on my clit and I came too. A hot, burning pulse of energy surged through my body. I arched back against Flutterguy’s chest, feeling his heart pounding against my back, and suddenly I was awake. Every hair of my hide was standing on end.

Lying there in bed, sweaty and gasping, I came to two horrifying realizations. First, that I had come all over Applejack’s sheets. She was going to be pissed. The second was that that hadn’t been a dream. Flutterguy and my opposite number hadn’t gotten the memo about not getting too worked up. This was bad. This was really, really bad.

I sat up in bed. Everything was quiet. Maybe it wasn’t so bad. Maybe everything was okay.

Then I heard a roaring, tearing sound from outside, followed by the sound of rushing wind.

I leapt out of bed, wincing as I heard the cum-soaked sheets splat on the hardwood floor. I tore open AJ’s bedroom window and leapt out.

I looked up. There was a gash in the sky, matte black against the deep indigo blue of the Equestrian summer night, and things were moving inside of it.

On a Crush and Piehole

Applejack galloped out from the trees, a horror from another universe in close pursuit. “He’s all yours, Dash!”

We’d been up all night hunting these things down. The sound of the gash opening had woken Fluttershy, who’d been able to contact Discord, who’d grudgingly put up a wall of those weird brick blocks around it. That had held until we’d managed to get ahold of Twilight for a proper shield.

A few of the things from inside the gash had gotten out and scattered into the Everfree. Twi didn’t have any trouble finding them, but humanely returning them to the Bulk was another matter entirely.

I chucked a rock at the thing’s segmented shell, and it stopped cold and turned its eyestalk to look at me.

“Hey, crusty!” I shouted. “Why don’t you pick on someone your own size?” I took off flying, and it lumbered after me. This one wasn’t as fast as the others had been, but it was big.

I zipped up to the next bend in the forested path, and hurled another rock at it. “C’mon! Pick up the pace! I’m getting away!”

We rounded the corner and came into a clearing. I tore across it, spread out my wings hard to brake, and spun around, but my whoop of triumph died on my lips. The thing was standing on the far side of the clearing, staring at me with what I had to assume was suspicion. It wasn’t going for the bait. Which was me — I was the bait. Celestia’s teats, we’d found a smart one.

“Hey, fish market! You smell like something a griffon would eat!” Kind of racist, I know. I’m sorry, it was a really bad breakup. I shook my hooves at the horror and shouted, “You know you want a piece of me! I threw a rock at you! Two rocks!” but it just lashed its tentacles and stood its ground.

“Fine. You wanna do this the hard way? We’ll do this the hard way.” I dashed back across the clearing, kicked it right in the eyestalk, grabbed a tentacle, and dragged it towards the center of the clearing. I liked this body. It was strong. The thing flopped on its back in the center of the clearing, and there was a soft click, a blaze of light, and suddenly I was spinning gently in midair, suspended along with the horror in a glowing beam of blue energy.

“Twilight!” I yelped, eyeing the monster’s tentacles warily. It didn’t seem to be able to move them, but I wasn’t ready to take any chances.

“Just a second. Just a second.” Twi wiggled out of the underbrush, followed by Fluttershy. AJ, Pinkie, and Rarity came pounding down the path, looking winded and covered in leaves. Seeing that the horror was trapped, Rarity immediately pulled a compact and some lipstick from her saddle clutch and began fixing her makeup.

Twilight’s horn glowed, and she popped me out of the magic circle trap and set me gently on my hooves. “Okay, I think this is the last one.”

“The poor thing looks so scared,” said Fluttershy sweetly. “It must feel so lost. So far from home!”

“Twilight, how is this thing even alive?” I asked. “It doesn’t even look like it has a mouth.”

“They’re energy beings — they don’t take form until they encounter a thinking being,” said Twilight. “After that they look like whatever those beings find most alien and disgusting.” Twilight’s horn glowed as she angled the energy beam towards the gash, which was now blocked by a huge, gleaming purple shield spell.

“Oh, so they’re just misunderstood!” said Fluttershy.

“No, it’s a hunting technique, to induce panic in their prey. These things feed off of the magical energy of sentient creatures.”

“Like Tirek did? Or the changelings?” asked Applejack.

Twilight shook her head. “Changelings just take love. Tirek took powers and identities. These things take everything. When they’re done feeding, all that’s left of you is a little pile of gray dust.”

All of us took a step away from the horror.

The energy beam started to glow brightly. The horror’s eyestalk flicked around nervously. Twi shouted “fire in the hole!”, there was a loud thwump, and the thing was catapulted through a tiny hole that Twilight had made in her shield.

“Do you think that hurt?” asked Fluttershy.

Twilight grinned. “Like a bastard, I hope. It’ll probably be fine, though.”

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. Fluttershy was concerned for the welfare of horrors beyond our ken, but she was scared of my dick.

Twilight turned to Rarity. “Okay, Rarity. Do you feel comfortable maintaining the shield? Cadence should be teleporting Shining Armor here to help with it within the hour, so you won’t have to watch it for long.”

Rarity snapped her compact closed dramatically. “Of course I can, dear. And if anything does manage to get through…”

Twilight cut her off. “Then run away from it, and have Spike contact Celestia and Luna immediately. I don’t want any of you getting hurt.” Then she blushed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cut you off. I’m just… a little on edge, you know.”

Rarity waved her hoof in a think-nothing-of-it gesture. “Oh, of course, Twilight darling. You push yourself too hard, dear. We will be fine.”

“AJ and me will help Rarity with anything she needs,” said Pinkie.

Applejack stepped up besides Pinkie and nodded. “You girls be safe, okay?”

The four of them hugged, and Twilight turned back to Fluttershy and me. “Are you two ready to go?”

Fluttershy cringed. “Do I have to go?”

“Yes, Fluttershy, you have to go,” said Twilight. “You’ve got the closest connection to Rainbow of any of us. And it looks like this opening was caused by something your and Rainbow’s spear counterparts did, so it’s likely we’ll need your help to undo it.”

Fluttershy closed her eyes, and took a deep breath. “I can be brave. I can be brave. I can be brave.”

I glanced at Twilight. She nodded. I draped a foreleg over Fluttershy’s withers. “Don’t worry, Flutters. Wherever Twi and I are is the safest place in Equestria, right?”

Fluttershy pressed her head against my chest. I felt her nod. “I know. I can be brave. I really can.”

———

Going into the Bulk was different this time. On the plus side, I wasn’t alone; we had Twilight to keep us warm and safe. On the down side, the horrors were watching us. None of them came near — the half dozen or so we’d sent back had probably spread the word about Twilight. But I could see them, hovering around us, purple-tinted light from outside glinting on tentacles and carapaces and huge, lidless eyes. Before long, we lost sight of the gash and were flying on faith. Not even flying, really — Fluttershy and I had our wings spread, but there was no air moving beneath them. Twilight was just standing there on four hooves, wings folded, a look on her face like she was trying to pick what book to read next. Fluttershy had her eyes clenched shut. I closed mine for a second, but it didn’t seem to make much difference.

“How much longer, Twi?” I was starting to see things. The only light was the glow of Twi’s horn, which didn’t carry very far, but I kept getting red after-images of horrible shapes as big as castles moving in the distance.

“It’s close, but I need to find it.”

“What? You mean we’re lost?!” I was not hearing this. Fluttershy squeaked, gave up any pretense of flying, and tucked up against my side, trembling.

Twilight looked annoyed. “We’re not lost. I just can’t find the exit.”

I gritted my teeth. This is what I get for being friends with Twilight. Lost forever in a horrible void beyond space and time.

Twilight suddenly perked up. “Ah. There it is.”

A tiny, ragged patch of light in front of us was growing rapidly larger. I squinted — I couldn’t see anything beyond it, just the too-bright yellow glare of sunlight after leaving a dark room. Reddish yellow, actually. Or was it purple?

Twilight’s wings unfolded. “Spread your wings, fillies. This could be a bumpy transition.” And so we flew out of the darkness into a bright bubble of purple shield.

“Motherfucker!” I said, rubbing my stinging nose, and pushing Twilight’s hind hooves out of my face.

“Is… is everyone okay?” asked a dazed-sounding Fluttershy from under my wing.

A bubble of shield surrounded us, and we were lifted down towards Ponyville common. Or, at least, Ponyville common if everything were in the wrong place. Sugarcube Corner was on the wrong side, and most of the other shops were different, although the one selling end tables and ink looked familiar. Nearby, workponies were loading a pile of black, segmented carcasses into wagons. Apparently the ponies who lived here had been less kind to the horrors than we had been.

Our bubble floated over to hover in the middle of a small group ponies — mostly stallions — standing in the grass outside the castle. To say they looked a little familiar would be an understatement.

“We got ’em, Dusk! That’ll teach ’em to invade us! You hear that, invaders? We got you! You’re in trouble now!” The pink one bounced around our bubble, grinning like a maniac. “Did you have to come far? I’ve never invaded anyone before. Is it a lot of work? Do you have to pack a lunch? Speaking of which, are you hungry? Thirsty? Can I get you anything? Cupcake? Muffin? Whiskey sour? Breakfast cereal? Coffee?” He pushed his nose up against the bubble and whispered loudly, “I really like coffee!”

“If they were invading, Bubble Berry,” said the one I recognized as Dusk, “Don’t you think they would have brought a larger force?

Bubble plopped down on his haunches. “Oh.” He leaned over and loud-whispered to us behind his hoof, “I can still get you coffee.”

Dusk stepped up to us. “You can let them go, Gleamy.”

There was a white, blue-maned mare who looked like she could bench-press Big Mac sitting near the gash, her horn aglow, reading Pike and Rifle magazine. She nodded, her horn flickered, our bubble popped, and we fluttered down to the grass beneath us.

Dusk raised his hood awkwardly. “So, um, hi. I’m Prince Dusk Shine. That over there is my sister Gleaming Shield…”

“Hey.”

“…you’ve met Bubble Berry…”

“Oh, it’s so wonderful to meet you all!”

“…and these are my friends Elusive…”

“Charmed, I’m sure.”

“…Applejack…”

“Eyup.”

“…Butterscotch…”

“…”

“…and Rainbow Blitz.“

“Yeaaah. Pretty sure he has my body, Dusk.”

Rainbow Blitz. So that really was his name. Her name. Whatever. Anyway, I was an awesome guesser.

Dusk waved his hoof for Blitz to be quiet and squinted at us. “And you are… you’re us, apparently. This makes no sense. Please explain.”

Twilight nodded. “You’re right, it doesn’t. We’re from a nearby parallel universe where most things are the same as in yours, but where almost everypony is the opposite sex. Which is really weird, but it happens, I guess? Anyway, Princess Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash.” Twi grinned sheepishly. “So. This is awkward, but I think I might’ve actually stolen your Rainbow’s body.”

Dusk frowned. “How do you accidentally steal the body of someone from another universe? Did it fall into your saddlebag?”

“Being Twilight Sparkle is a good start,” I offered.

Twilight blushed. “It’s a really long story. I’ll explain later.”

Elusive piped up. “All we know is, we were gathered at my boutique, drinking tea and playing board games, and then suddenly our beloved Rainbow Blitz turned into a mare with a feminine complaint. And then she urinated all over my floor.” He sneered at us, and waved a hoof at his nose as though trying to dispel the memory of the scent. “Most distasteful.”

I kept looking at Rainbow Blitz. He… she… Okay, she from now on. She’d done things with my body. Horrible, horrible things. Her mane was wavy, and the leathery skin of her hooves was all glossy and glow-y. “What have you done to me? Did you get me a perm? And a hooficure?”

Blitz glared back at me. “Yeah? So? I had a spa day. What have you done to my body? Why did you have to cut my mane? And… oh no…” She was right in front of me in a flash, staring at the cut on my shoulder that I’d barely thought about since Fluttershy had stitched it up. “Oh no! You got me hurt! That’s going to leave a scar!” She slapped me. “What the actual buck? You went out joyriding in my body and you scratched it!”

I gritted my teeth, and resisted the urge to hit her back. Ugh, I could not stand myself! Why was I such a pansy?

Dusk sighed. “Blitz, I think I can get rid of the scar for you. Don’t worry.”

“Dusk is just amazing at healing magic,” offered Bubble Berry, stroking his friend’s shoulder. “He can fix anything!”

Dusk ducked his head bashfully. “I’m okay at it. So, Twilight, I assume you came to help us switch their bodies back?”

Twilight nodded. “Yes, in fact, I…”

Blitz waved her hooves, interrupting. “Okay, everypony, listen, about that. We can’t switch bodies again. I need this one.”

Everyone stared at Blitz. Everyone except Butterscotch, who had slipped down on his belly, and was even now trying to blend into the bushes at the edge of the green…

Blitz puffed out her chest proudly. “Butterscotch and I made love last night. We are a couple now. And Butterscotch only likes mares. So we need this body.”

Twilight glared at Blitz. “Yes. We know all about that.” She jabbed her hoof at the gash in the sky. “Where do you think that came from?”

Dusk nodded seriously. “I thought it might be something like that. Excess emotional energy phasing through the co-temporal transition space, right? Sorry I didn’t figure it out in time.” He turned to Blitz. “Are you sure about this, Blitz? There’s, uh, a lot at stake here.”

Twilight snorted. “Literally everything is at stake! Both universes could be destroyed if we don’t get you Rainbows back in the right body. I’m sorry if it interferes in your love life, but we have to think of the greater good.”

Blitz shook her head. “No. I understand what you’re saying, but I don’t care. If I can’t have Butterscotch, then the world can burn. We have to find another way to fix this.”

Twilight’s horn flashed. “Oh, you think you can say no to me, do you?”

Dusk’s horn began to glow. So did Elusive’s. Stallion Applejack thumped his forehooves together menacingly. I gulped. This could get ugly fast, and we were outnumbered. Speaking of which, where the buck was Fluttershy?

Bubble Berry laid a hoof gently on Twilight’s withers. “Twilight. Honey. Sweetie. I know you’re new around here, but you do not talk to our Blitzie like that. You just do not.”

Twi eyed Bubble sideways, then looked at Dusk’s horn with a calculating look in her eye, as if trying to decide if she could take him down fast enough to deal with the others.

“Would our friends be any different, Twi?” I asked.

Twilight sighed, and let her horn dim. “I guess not.”

I leaned over to talk quietly to Twi. “I mean seriously, they just got together. I know there’s a lot at stake, but try to show a little compassion.”

She raised an eyebrow at me. “If this is about us, Rainbow, we can still play after you change back. I totally don’t mind mares.”

I rolled my eyes. “Never mind.”

About then, Fluttershy came trotting out from behind Sugarcube Corner with Butterscotch in tow. Butterscotch looked shamefaced and glanced nervously at his friends as though expecting judgement. He wasn’t getting any, though. “I don’t mean to interrupt,” she said, but is it okay for me and Dashie to, um, talk, now?”

Twilight blinked. “Yes. Yes, of course. With both Rainbows in the same universe, you might get some sensory bleed-through, but that would be it.”

“So why don’t the four of us go off and talk things out, and you and Dusk can put your heads together and figure out what all our options are.” She grinned sheepishly. “I mean, if that’s okay with you.”

Dusk raised an eyebrow and turned to look back at his sister. “Hey, sis, how long do you think you can keep that shield going?”

Gleaming Shield tossed her magazine aside and pulled a copy of Pony of Fortune from a pile next to her. “That depends. How many magazines you got?”

Dusk looked at Twi. Twi looked at Dusk. They both smiled awkwardly.

“Research?” said Twilight.

“Together?” said Dusk.

Twilight nodded firmly, with a big old grin on her face.

I slapped Twi on the plot. “Get a room, you two.”

———

The four of us were all walking down the path to Butterscotch’s cottage, Blitz with Butterscotch and Fluttershy with me. The two of them were talking quietly. Fluttershy and I just walked in awkward silence.

“So…” I said, after a while.

“Uh, yeah.” She stared sadly at the dirt.

“Listen, I’m really sorry. I tried to… okay, I tried to bully you, and it was really wrong, and if you never want to talk to me again, I understand.”

Fluttershy gasped! “Oh, no! Dashie, it’s not like that at all.” She looked at me, then bit her lower lip and glanced away. “I was a total bitch. You needed me, and I just threw you right out! I was awful, and I’m so ashamed!” Tears welled up, and started to roll down her cheeks.

“Oh, no, no, no! Fluttershy!” I hugged her. “You were right. I don’t have a right to your body. Nopony can tell anypony else what to do with their body.”

“You were just… so loud. And angry. And… oh this is really stupid that I feel this way.”

“All feelings are stupid, Fluttershy. If we had smart feelings, life would be a lot easier.”

“It’s just… the first time I was alone with a stallion, he was too rough, and it really hurt. And I’ve never been with a stallion without you around, since then. And then suddenly, you were a stallion.”

I let her go, and stepped back. “Who was it?” I could feel rage boiling in my heart. There was no statute of limitations on hurting my mare.

Fluttershy blinked. “Oh, Rainbow, no! He didn’t hurt me on purpose! He was an innocent teenage colt! He just didn’t know what he was doing! Anyway, it’s supposed to hurt the first time, right?”

“I don’t care. He hurt you!” My back molars were grinding together.

Fluttershy’s eyebrows snapped downwards. “Rainbow Danger Dash, you get ahold of yourself this instant! This is not about you!”

I gulped. “Um, okay. Sorry.”

Fluttershy sighed. Blitz and Butterscotch’s voices were growing distant. I could hear barking — animal noises probably meant we were near his cottage. Flutters and I started walking again.

Fluttershy continued talking, in a calmer tone. “I mean, I’m obviously much more experienced now. With you by my side, I feel like I can do anything. But… when you just barged in like that, I was afraid you’d changed. I was afraid you’d just take what you wanted, whether it hurt or not.”

Oh, was that what her ‘innocent teenage colt’ had done? I kept my mouth shut. But If I ever found out who that first stallion was, I would kill him, grind up his corpse, and sell it as hamburger in a griffon meat market. And Fluttershy would never need to know.

I brushed my hoof against hers. “I promise never to hurt you, Flutters.”

She smiled softly at me. “And I promise to trust you. Always. From now on.”

I had a sudden stab of stress headache followed by the sound of Blitz and Butterscotch’s raised voices loud and close in my ears. And barking. So much barking. The headache passed quickly, but I could still hear the shouting and the barking faintly up ahead.

“Are you okay, Dashie?”

I shook myself and nodded. “Yeah, but I think we’d better check on the other two.”

Blitz and Butterscotch were arguing knees-deep in a rolling sea of dogs. Several were standing between them looking concerned, but mostly they were just swirling around in circles, wagging, slobbering, and sniffing everything in sight. There were other animals, too — including a few monkeys and… holy Celestia was that a tiger? But the dog pack made up the bulk of the welcoming committee. Several broke off to run up and bark and sniff at us as we approached.

“Oh my gosh, aren’t you all such a bunch of little cuties!” squealed Fluttershy. “Oh, yes you are. Are you good dogs? Oh yes! Yes, I bet you are!” She fished a bag of animal treats out of her saddlebags. “Do you know any tricks?”

I rolled my eyes. Fluttershy was lost to me. I’d be solving this particular friendship problem on my own.

“No! Absolutely not! I will not let you!” Blitz bellowed.

“Do you think you can stop me, Blitz?”

“Yes. Yes I do.”

Butterscotch hunched down, and blew his long pink bangs away from his eyes. “Well… well… okay you probably can! But it wouldn’t be very nice of you!”

“What’s the issue, guys?” I asked, casually kicking several questing dog noses away from my plot.

Blitz pushed a hoof against her forehead. “I can’t even say it. Butterscotch, you tell him.”

Butterscotch’s cheeks turned bright beet red. “I… uh… um, I was wondering if… I… I…” He sank down slowly until he was covered in dogs up to his eyeballs. But the pack had begun to notice that Fluttershy had treats, so his cover was quickly stripped away.

I smiled a slow half smile. “Wait, I think I can guess this one. Butterscotch, you want to have sex with me to see if you can turn yourself gay, so that you and Blitz can still be lovers when we switch our bodies back.”

Butterscotch mumbled something incoherent. Blitz whistled. “Good guess.”

I shrugged. “Yeah, I know the type. So let him.”

Blitz blinked. “But… but…”

“Listen — letting him suck me off once isn’t going to ‘turn him gay,’” I said, hooking my hooves into little scare quotes, “but maybe he won’t mind it, and maybe you two can work something out. And if he hates it, at least you’ll know where you stand.”

Blitz frowned. “But he’s not being true to himself! It’s… I don’t usually say stuff like this, but… it’s wrong! It’s against his nature!”

Butterscotch spoke up, a little bit of the fire and steel I sometimes say in Fluttershy creeping into his voice. “It’s not my nature to cuddle colts, Blitz. But it’s my nature to love you. I’ve loved you so much, for so long. I didn’t realize how much until last night. I don’t know if I’m going to be able to love you as a stallion, but Solaris damn it I’m going to try.”

I grinned. “Right. And I’ve got your body right now. So if he has sex with me and doesn’t like it, it’s going to be way less traumatic than if he has sex with you in this body tomorrow and doesn’t like it.”

Blitz smirked. “You think so?”

I held my head high. “I know so.”

“Let me guess — you know the type, right?”

———

“Okay. So. You want to put both hooves gently but firmly at the base of the penis.” Fluttershy mimed the action with her own hooves, and Butterscotch hesitantly followed suit. We were all on Butterscotch’s bed — me on my back, Butters between my legs and Fluttershy at his side. Blitz was reclining next to my head, where she could get a good view down my belly. Every once in a while, I would get a hazy flash of her point of view for a second or two. It was super disorienting, but pretty awesome, too.

Blitz squirmed, clearly worried. “You okay, pal? I don’t want you getting freaked out.”

“I’m fine, Blitz.” Butterscotch’s eyes were fixed on my dick. He didn’t look fine; he looked like he was willing himself not to fly right out the window.

“Yes, you’re being very brave,” said Fluttershy, brushing her mane back out of her eyes. “Now, why don’t you try giving him a few gentle strokes, just to see how he reacts?”

Butterscotch’s hooves fumbled hesitantly over my shaft, and my whole body tensed. “Oh… oh you two… are the hottest ponies in the world,” I moaned.

Butterscotch was blushing furiously. “So, I guess I’m doing okay?”

Fluttershy nodded seriously. “I think so! You you want to try licking it?” She gave my cock a sultry appraisal. “I like to tease stallions. They get so worked up.”

“I like it when mares do that, but… will it taste funny?” Butterscotch’s long pink bangs half-covered his eyes. He leaned in to sniff at the shaft.

I raised an eyebrow. “Haven’t you put that monster between your hind legs in your mouth? You’ve got to be able to reach.”

Butterscotch looked horrified. “Oh no! My mother told me if I tried, the changelings would come and take me away! Do… do ponies really do that?”

I stuffed my hooves in my mouth, trying not to laugh. “Yeah. Yeah they do. It was almost the first thing I did when I got a dick.”

Blitz chuckled. “I have, too. It tastes fine. A little salty.”

“Let me show you what I do.” Fluttershy opened her tiny mouth wide and slid her tongue along the shaft, starting in the fluffy fur around the base, tracing the veins along the shaft, pausing to worship the medial ring for a minute or two, then sliding up to the underside of my flare. My thighs flexed, and I thrust my pelvis up, rubbing my flare right across Butterscotch’s nose. He yelped.

“Oh no. You be good, Dashie. Butterscotch is being super brave to even try this; you have to let him take his time!” She turned to Butterscotch. “If he starts thrusting too much, just push down on his tummy with your hooves. Stallions are like animals. You have to let them know you’re in charge, or they’ll walk all over you.”

I snorted. Yeah. Just like you show Angel who’s boss, right, Fluttershy? But I kept my mouth shut.

Butterscotch shook his head. “It’s okay. So I should go like this?” He laid the shaft out across my belly, and wriggled up so his chest was over my balls. He slid his wet tongue down over my shaft. The soft, pink flesh of his tongue wiggled back and forth slowly, adding side-to-side motion to Fluttershy’s straight-up-the-arrow approach. I bit my lower lip as he flicked it across my ring and pushed down along the sensitive underside. His innocent face looked so serious that I was afraid I’d come just from watching. I closed my eyes. I was going to come before he barely got started, if I wasn’t careful. His firm, narrow chest rested against my shaft by the time his lips reached the edge of my flare.

“Oh, Butters, I can feel what you’re doing to him.” Inside my head, I felt Blitz sliding her back up the headboard and pressing a hoof in between her legs. A bead of sweat rolled down her forehead – or mine; I couldn’t tell. Then it passed, and I was just myself again.

“Butterscotch, a lot of stallions like having their balls sucked, too,” Fluttershy whispered softly. “Do you want to try that?”

Butterscotch froze. I peeked my eyes open. He was staring at Fluttershy in horror. Fluttershy stroked his side frantically. “Oh, no, no! It’s okay if you’re not ready. Scoot over, and I’ll do it. I think Dashie is ready for you to put the end in your mouth, if you want to.”

Fluttershy wriggled in between my hind legs and nuzzled my tight blue balls. I groaned, arched my back, and pushed my hooves against the headboard as her tiny tongue pulled half my sack into her hot little mouth. She moved slowly, rolling one ball gently in and out of her mouth. Butterscotch didn’t seem to be doing too much more than rubbing my shaft with his hooves. I glanced over to see he was kissing Blitz wetly, their tongues sliding all over each other, spit dribbling off their chins. Blitz glanced into his eyes and whispered to Butterscotch, “Put it in your mouth. Make him come.”

I watched in delight as Butterscotch meekly closed his eyes and opened his mouth, and pushed my flare past his lips. He pinched the base of my cock between his hooves, and began to bob his head up and down, slowly at first, then faster and faster as he grew more comfortable. My flare settled into the sweet spot of bare gum between his incisors and his molars. I pushed against the headboard, making it creek, willing myself not to thrust, and not to come yet. Not yet. This was too good. Down between my legs, Fluttershy had somehow managed to get both balls into her mouth. Her sweet lips sucked at the root of my sack, keeping my nuts warm and wet.

“Good colt,” whispered Blitz, rubbing fiercely at her pussy. “You’re a hero, Butters. A hero. You’re doing great.”

I watched Butterscotch’s face as he bobbed on me — long bangs flapping, eyes squeezed closed, lips pushing in and out along my shaft, cheekbones standing out over sucking cheeks. The balls in Fluttershy’s mouth burned and tingled, tightening as a raging orgasm began to build in me. The closer I came to coming, the more I could feel Blitz’s body and see through her eyes. I watched myself pressing my pelvis upwards and felt her hoof against her pussy, pressing rapid circles against her clit.

I stammered, trying to warn Butters that I was coming, but all that came out was incoherent shouting. My shaft pulsed, and thick shots of jizz began to squirt into the stallion’s mouth, splashing over his tongue and down his throat. I felt Blitz come, too, felt her heart hammering and her pussy muscles clenching. For a second, I couldn’t remember if I was a colt or a filly.

Then Butterscotch made a gagging noise, and pulled back, spitting cum onto my belly. He looked like he was about to panic, but Blitz took his cheeks in her hooves and slid her tongue into his mouth, kissing him deeply, licking away the taste of my cum.

“I… I did it.” He smiled, in spite of the tears welling up in his eyes. “I did it!”

“Y-you d-did… you did great. A+,” I stammered between gasps, waving my hoof triumphantly.

Blitz and Flutters leaped up to squeeze Butterscotch, fawning over him, stroking him, telling him how brave he’d been.

“And… it wasn’t that bad!” Butterscotch grinned, rubbing at his wet cheeks. “I could do that again!”

“And I already know you’re great at fucking me up the ass. We can do this, buddy! We can do this!” Blitz was crying and slapping Butters on the back. Fluttershy was bouncing on the bed on all fours. I just lay there on the bed, panting, cum and spit drying on my barrel. A straight stallion had sucked my dick, and he’d liked it. Once again, I had made the impossible happen. I felt amazing. Except for my legs. I seemed to have lost feeling in my legs. It was okay. They’d be back.

That was when Twi and Dusk teleported into the room. Dusk gasped. He turned red, and then white. Twi just jammed a hoof against her forehead. “Rainbow Dash, what are you… no. I’m not even going to ask.”

“Mighty Solaris,” Dusk muttered. “I won’t ever be able to unsee this, will I?”

Twi shook her head. “Never. No.” She pitched her voice for our ears. “Okay, pervs. Get cleaned up and climb aboard the teleportation train. Things are going very, very wrong back in town. I hope you didn’t waste all your mojo on whatever this was, because we’re having a mystical magical gangbang, and we’re having it now.”

Hair of the Dog

Amateur military magazines were scattered all across the green.

Gleaming Shield was standing in a wide, braced stance, every muscle in her body clenched, her horn burning with purple light. Something huge smashed into her shield, distending it like a plastic bag.

“Holy Celestia, Twi, I really don’t think this is the time for an orgy.”

Twilight looked up from the magic circle she and Dusk were painting onto the grass of the green. “Not an orgy. A gangbang. A focus of emotional and erotic energy onto two individuals. It’s crude, but it should be more than enough to switch your souls back to your original bodies, and Dusk and I can use the excess energy to seal both sides of the gash.

I raised an eyebrow. “Two individuals. So you’re saying…”

Blitz walked up next to me, smirking. “…she wants us to go buck ourselves.”

I felt my blood pressure begin to rise. “Twi, where did you get this idea?”

She narrowed her eyes at me. Her saddlebags were lying on the grass near us; she slid a wood-covered book out of one with her magic.

I stamped in rage and frustration. “Twi, that book of unfriendly sex magic was what got us in this trouble in the first place!”

Twi rolled her eyes. “Okay, the Marquis de Saddles’ original spells are rubbish, but his theory is sound! Magic draws on mental and emotional energy. Sex should be a gem mine for that kind of thing.”

I stared at her.

“Sure, this will be the first time I’ve tested it under field conditions. And everypony in the spell is supposed to be a unicorn — but I think that’s because the Marquis was kind of racist; other ponies have magic, too, just not as focused.” She closed the magic circle with a last brushstroke. “Looking good, Dusk?”

Dusk’s magic flared. A beam of force snaked out from his horn and spread slowly out in a dome above the magic circle. “Yep. Looks great.”

Twi turned to address us all. “Okay, gather round, team. I’m going to need everyone we can get for this. The village has been evacuated, so we’ll have as much privacy as we can hope for. Once we get going, it won’t really be possible to withdraw consent, so I’m going to need to get everypony’s full buy-in up front. If you don’t think you can handle it, we can find something else for you to do. If you back out while the spell is going, it could wreck everything.”

Bubble Berry smirked. “It would hardly be the first time AJ and I have been in a sweaty outdoors snugpile with Blitz.”

Stallionjack grinned. “Eyup.” Our AJ was the straightest mare I knew. Was this AJ just Big Mac with an orange paint job?

Dusked blushed furiously. “You guys…?”

Bubble’s smile widened predatorily. “Sorry we haven’t invited you, Dusky. We didn’t think you’d want to play. Would you like to come next time?”

Dusk unconsciously backed up a couple of steps. “No. No, I’m good. I can… um, I think I can help with Blitz. Girl Blitz, I mean.”

“Are you sure?” asked Twi.

Dusk nodded firmly, once.

Elusive was frowning fiercely. “I will do my part with the male one. Though do I prefer more intimate settings.” He tossed his elegantly styled mane fussily.

“I don’t think this is anypony’s ideal situation.” The massive horror rammed the shield, sending a shockwave of sound through the air. We all shuddered.

I glanced sideways at Blitz. Her eyes met mine. I’d seen that face in the mirror a million times, and it wasn’t any less pretty on somepony else. Even with the lipstick and the eyeliner. Buck it. I leaned in for a kiss. She answered by opening her mouth and pressing her tongue hungrily against mine. My knees got wobbly, and my cock began to rise out of its sheath. I noticed Butterscotch glaring at us, repressed anger in his eyes. I felt sympathy — jealousy was a rough emotion, but he was going to have to get used to it, if he was going to be with one of me.

“And the Rainbows are already getting warmed up. Okay. Fluttershy? Butterscotch?”

Flutters and Butters were leaning against each other, white as sheets. “I don’t… I don’t know…” stammered Fluttershy.

“I don’t know if we can, Twilight,” finished Butterscotch. He ducked his head, ashamed, glancing sadly at Blitz and I again. “I don’t know if I can even watch.”

Twilight nodded. “Go into the castle. Get water and coffee. Oh, and some dairy products — more than one climax from all of us would be helpful. I can help with the stallions’ reload times, but I’ll need protein-rich foods as raw materials.”

Blitz and I were getting pretty hot and heavy. My hooves rolled down her ribcage and over her sides to her muscular haunches. It was fascinating to feel the muscles I’d worked so hard on, every one cut and clearly defined. I’d hated the slight softness to my tummy and hips when I was a mare but now I just wanted to keep squeezing them. Faint echoes of her sensations flickered through my head — my own hard muscles, hot breath, and apparently huge tongue.

“In the circle, you two!” nagged Twi. “It’s lucky you’re such a narcissist, but we can’t afford to waste any energy.”

Blitz got up and grinned over her shoulder at me. She lifted her tail up and aside and strutted towards the circle with the exaggerated sashay of a stallion in drag. It made me giggle, but I had to admit it was kind of hot watching my sturdy haunches sway like that. I pushed my nose in between those lovely blue cheeks and inhaled the familiar rich smell of my pussy. Blitz squeaked and laughed. I nipped her on the cutie mark and grabbed her barrel in my forelegs, pushing her down onto the ground in the middle of the magic circle.

Blitz reached back and thumped me in the ribs. “Hey, stupid. I need to be on top. So the others can reach.”

“Oh. Right.” I rolled onto my back in the middle of the circle. I glanced around. Everyone was watching. Bubble and AJ lustfully, Twi with detached attention, her horn glowing slightly as she measured the magical energies being generated. Dusk’s cheeks were bright red, but he was also sporting a raging erection. Elusive yawned.

I grinned. I loved having an audience, even if it was only a partially attentive one. Blitz stood on her hind legs over me and facing away from me, and squatted down. She was already dripping wet. I helped her guide my flare inside of her, gasping as I felt her warmth enveloping me. She pushed down to my balls in a single thrust, grunting in pleasure and pain as my flare slammed into her cervix. We were, unsurprisingly, a perfect match. She started riding me, cranking her hips up, then slamming them down, making the little bit of fat on that lovely tush bounce. I slapped her ass, and she arched her back languidly. I loved it. I was an amazing lay.

I heard Bubble Berry’s voice. “Can we…”

“Please do,” said Twi.

The next thing I knew, a massive pair of orange balls were being lowered into my face. I breathed in the musky scent of ball sweat and opened my mouth as wide as it would go. AJ guided one ball into my mouth. The other rested on my cheek, hot and covered in short fur. He started raising and lowering his pelvis, popping his balls in and out of my mouth. I could see that Bubble had his forehooves on Blitz’s shoulders, and was doing something wet-sounding to her face. I closed my eyes, and took a few deep breaths, and I could feel Bubble’s thick, perfumed cock moving rapidly in and out of Blitz’s mouth. I groaned into Stallionjack’s sack — yeah, for a desperate, last-ditch attempt to save two universes from a disaster I’d helped cause, this was pretty hot. There really was no justice.

AJ got bored of having his balls sucked and pulled away, but only for a second. A fat, drooling battering ram of a penis bumped into my face. I had some experience with Mac’s dick, and the only way this one was different was that it was light orange instead of dark magenta. Last time, I’d had a mare’s mouth, and hadn’t been able to get it in at all. With my new mouth, I could get the flare in, but that was it. I was afraid when his flare stiffened, he’d rip my jaw off.

“Hey, Lady Dusk, we got a problem,” rumbled Stallionjack.

“I’m on it!”

I felt something happen to my face, and suddenly AJ’s cock was sliding into me. I let out a muffled yelp of surprise. My deepthroat game has never been strong, but now the twin of the biggest dick I or Lightning Dust had ever seen felt like its head was up under my rib cage. I liked it, I just hoped whatever Twi had done to me was reversible.

An effeminate squeal and the second-hand taste of artificial strawberry told me Bubble Berry had come. AJ gave me a pat on the chest like I’d been a good dog, and slid out. My own spit dribbled out onto my muzzle. I groaned. Even with Twi’s spell helping me my throat already ached, and Elusive was on his way over.

“Well. Aren’t you a mess.” He wrinkled up his nose, but offered me his long, arched pink cock. I took the flare in my mouth — it had a diamond-studded ring piercing, which I immediately started twiddling with my tongue.

“I can see you’ve done this before. Oh, yes, that’s very nice.” Elusive started thrusting, slowly and sensually, gradually sliding deeper into my magically enhanced throat. “Oh, that’s right. Take it. Take it, you nasty, tacky little guttersnipe. Suck it, you dirty catamite, you.”

I cringed. Elusive really needed to work on his dirty talk routine. He was easy on the eyes, though, even up close and from below. Soft but not fat, strong thighs pumping, handsome pink balls bouncing closer and closer until they were bopping me in the nose. His dick was much slimmer and a little shorter than AJ’s, but it fit in my throat just as snugly as the bigger stallion’s had, which was a relief — whatever Twi’s spell had done, it was more elegant than just making my face huge.

I glanced sideways. Bubble was knocking back a cup of water and holding a half-eaten wedge of manchego. Twilight was pumping his floppy cock gently with her magic while she watched the magical flow of our gangbang. I didn’t think that ‘fluffer’ was really an appropriate role for even the number four ranked princess, but I wasn’t about to say anything.

I felt the sensation of Stallionjack’s cock buried deep in my throat, surging and pulsing. I heard him bellow. Blitz had been rubbing her clit, and AJ coming in her mouth was enough to make her come. I felt an electric, tingling orgasm rip through Blitz’s body. I arched and groaned around Elusive’s dick, pressing my nose up into his sack.

“Oh, you cheap little strumpet!” howled Elusive, and I felt his cock twitch in me as he came.

This was way too much for me. I felt the burning wave of an orgasm rip through me, and I began squirting inside Blitz, welling up against her cervix. We were such a close fit that there wasn’t really any room for cum in there, so in a few thrusts the excess was all over my belly and thighs, leaving me feeling sticky and matted and wonderful.

“Get off him, Rarity. I mean, Elusive.” Twi’s voice. The next thing I knew, Elusive’s cock was out of my mouth, and a purple hoof was shoving a chunk of brie into my face. Being force fed cheese has never been one of my fetishes, but I gulped that mushy, salty stuff down. Ugh. Cum tastes better. I felt something suspiciously magical-feeling happen deep inside of me, and I was hard and ready again, still buried inside of Blitz’s pussy.

“Woo!” shouted Blitz. “I could do this all day. Who’s next?”

Twilight had walked back over to Dusk, and stroked his shoulder. “We need you.”

Dusk gulped and stood up. He was hard, but clearly terrified. He whispered something to Twi I couldn’t hear.

“Well, this will make it six,” replied Twi with a slight smile. “Pony up. You can do it.” And she hugged him.

I didn’t see what happened next, because I had a pink ballsack pressed over my eyes. “Guess whoooo!”

I chuckled. “Adonis the studpony.” I haven’t mentioned this yet: Bubble Berry was cut. Every bit as much so as my stallion body was. It was an interesting contrast to Pinkie, who was a rather curvy mare. I slid my hooves over his muscular thighs and lapped at his ball sack. I inhaled — his male musk was complemented by a subtle, flowery perfume. His fur was neatly trimmed short and smooth everywhere, not leaving a single line of muscle to the imagination.

“That’s right, sexy,” purred Bubble Berry, sliding his dick back along my cheek. “You don’t know it, but you and I have done this a lot.”

I laughed, reaching around to squeeze his hard ass. “I seem to have forgotten. Remind me.”

I tilted my neck back, opened my mouth, and pressed on Bubble’s ass cheeks, gently pulling him into my mouth. I ran my tongue around his silky flare, and he groaned. “Mgh. Oh, gosh! You’re just at good at that as Blitzie is. Don’t stop. Faster, okay?”

My connection with Blitz was getting stronger. I could feel everything as Dusk placed his hooves hesitantly on Blitz’s shoulders. “I… I don’t want this to affect our friendship,” he mumbled, looking away from Blitz.

Blitz reached up and pushed on Dusk’s cheek, making him meet her eyes. “Dusky. Pal. It’s just for magic, okay? Tomorrow, we can pretend this never happened.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Now, those are some extremely full-looking balls. Let’s see if we can empty them out a little.”

I felt Blitz slide her mouth over Dusk’s flare and lap a drop of salty pre from his tip. I could feel her pussy squeezing my dick, and my dick sliding against her hot, silky flesh. Bubble was pounding my face with increasing enthusiasm.

I felt another orgasm building, but something larger than that was building as well. It was… okay, I just want to warn you in advance that this is going to sound really weird. I’m just going to say all of this is literally how it felt, I’m not getting all fancy on you or anything. The Dash does not do that.

Anyway, it was sort of like a bridge had formed between my and Blitz’s minds. I took a few tentative mental steps, then raced across the bridge into Blitz’s head. It was crowded in there, and also I noticed that the male Rainbow body had stopped breathing when I left, so I raced quickly back to it.

”Hey. Blitz. We gotta do this,” I said. It really felt like I was saying it, even though my mouth was still busy with Bubble’s cock.

”I’m afraid.”

”Seriously? One of us is afraid? Get out of my body right now, you bucking pansy. You’re not worthy of it.”

”He’s not really gay! Everything will be fine for a while, but then he’ll meet some mare, and he’ll fall in love, and it will all come crashing down.”

”I don’t know, he seemed pretty eager to please to me. Just have a lot of threesomes with mares and ease him into the gay, and let him have all the pussy he wants on the side, and you’ll be fine.”

There was a pause. Somewhere in there, Dusk came in one of our mouths.

”Are you sure?”

”Well, obviously not. I can’t see the future. But come on, grow a pair of ovaries. I thought stallions were supposed to be tough.”

”Not necessarily, or consistently, it turns out.”

”I’d noticed.” I felt Bubble pull out without finishing. Something was up.

”All right. Do you see what we have to do?”

”Yeah, it’s like, we can just… walk over.”

”All right. On the count of tree, we switch. One… two… oh, holy buck”

The rush was like nothing I’d ever experienced. A blazing light filled my eyes, a ringing filled my ears, and a massive burst of tingling pleasure raced through every inch of my body. I kicked into the air, feeling Blitz’s cock flop wetly out of my body.

“Yeeehaw!” I whooped, punching the air.

Twi and Dusk’s eyes were glowing. “They’re out!” shouted Dusk. “Do it now!”

“I’ll get our side, you get yours!” said Twi.

A lot of things happened at once. The edges of the gash began to glow, and fuse together. Whatever was banging against Gleamy’s shield seemed to panic — it drew itself fully out of the bubble long enough for her to relax, then rammed through, shattering the shield and sending the muscular mare flying across the green from the magical backlash.

The gash hissed closed. The thing hovered over the Ponyville green. It was a vast, shapeless black mass at first, but quickly solidified into something like a six-winged dragon made out of a billion cockroaches. I saw that Fluttershy and Butterscotch were standing on the steps of the castle; that was probably where it’d gotten the dragon part from.

Dusk rushed over to the fallen form of his sister.

“I’m fine, Dusky! I’m fine!” She tried to push herself to her hooves and failed. Clearly ‘fine’ was relative. From the way she gritted her teeth when she tried to put weight on her left leg, I’d say broken cannon.

Dusk looked up at the horror, fury in his eyes. He looked at Twilight. “We can’t send it back.”

Twi nodded. “Not any more. This is your universe, Dusk. What do you recommend we do with it?” By the slightly psychotic look on her face, I could tell she already had a pretty good idea what he was going to say.

A flicker of orange and red flashed out of Dusk’s horn. “We kill it. We kill it with fire.”

The cockroach dragon looked at the two angry alicorns. I’m speculating, here, but I think it was realizing it’d made a mistake. Sure, it wanted to be in a universe where there was something to eat. But it was cut off now, with no escape or reinforcements. It had likely heard about the purple ones. And here they were both together.

So it ran. Twi and Dusk launched themselves after it.

I looked down at Blitz, who was still getting to his hooves, looking a little dazed. “We can’t let them go alone.”

He nodded. “And no one else can keep up.”

I grinned. “Let’s do this.”

“Wait!” wailed Fluttershy, pounding desperately towards me. She scooted to a halt right next to me. “Um. I’m sorry. I mean, um… Dashie, please come back to me? I mean, as in, don’t get killed? If you can do that for me?”

I squeezed Flutters hard and kissed her quickly on the lips. “I promise.” She smiled, and I saw her rushing over to see if she could help Gleaming Shield as I circled up into the sky.

Blitz had had a similar mushy scene with Butterscotch, so we were both well behind Twi and Dusk at first. We caught up pretty quick, though.

“It’s out of range,” Twi shouted to me, “and we can’t catch up! Can you two slow it down or lure it back here or something?”

Blitz and I saluted and took off at full speed, flying low over the treetops. To my surprise, Blitz had no trouble keeping up with me — he seemed to know how to use his greater wing strength to overcome his extra weight. It was okay. I would have figured it out eventually, too.

“Damn,” I said, “you’re almost as good as me. We seriously need to race, after this.”

Blitz smirked at me. “Only if you like losing.” He glanced ahead, and his eyes widened. “Heads up, soul sister!”

The thing had torn three hunks of itself free from its body, and they had grown wings, and were flying at us. What the buck?

I dodged one and dove hooves first into the other one, knocking it into slimy chunks. I shook the ichor out of my eyes and glanced back. I saw that Blitz had dodged the one that came after him. Seconds later, both the things were incinerated by Twi and Dusk.

The dragon horror was smaller now, and faster. It had managed to get far ahead of us, and was making its way past the Everfree Forest and towards Ghastly Gorge.

“Hey, look, Dash. It thinks it’s fast. Isn’t that cute?”

“Hey, Blitz, can you do a sonic rainboom?”

“Can I?” Blitz flapped his wings hard, and went into a climb. I banked away from him, and followed suit.

We climbed sharply into the air, then looped into a dive, using gravity to build our momentum. My wings were a blur, the muscles burning. Below us, the dragon horror had stretched itself out long and narrow, and it slipped into the gorge. I don’t know why it thought it would be safer there. We quickly caught up with it and began to pass it.

“On my mark!” screamed Blitz.

“No! On my mark!”

“Whose universe is this?”

I sighed. “Fine! On your mark!”

Blitz grinned, and rolled over to the far lip of the ravine. “Five… four… three… two… hit it, Dash!” The air cracked open. Twin rainbow shockwaves blossomed behind us, tearing into either rim of the gorge, and collapsing it right in front of the dragon horror. The shock of Blitz’s rainboom almost knocked me out of the air, but I recovered and spread out my wings to brake. I banked in a wide circle, looping back around to the smoking gouge our rainbooms had torn in the gorge.

The dragon horror was trapped under the rocks blocking the gorge, but alive and already struggling to free itself. When it saw us, it twisted its neck and tore off several more chunks off its body. The newborn horrors flapped towards us. There were seven of them. I began to climb, three of them on my tail. I’d lost a lot of speed braking and turning and had lost the main advantage I had over these things. The dragon horror seemed to have learned from his last attack — these horrors had heavy carapaces that would resist ramming attacks like I’d tried before. Below me, I could see that Blitz had also circled back and was trailing four horrors of his own.

“Rainbow! Other Rainbow! Over here!” Twi and Dusk had arrived. I banked sharply, turning towards them, then dove once I was in what I hoped was range. Orange light flashed behind me, and when I looked back, my pursuers were nothing but ash. Blitz’s horrors tried to flee, but they were too close, and Twi and Dusk rolled, dived, and roasted them, too.

The dragon horror had pulled itself halfway out of the boulders. It stretched out its neck and gave a deafening roar. Its hateful, fishlike eyes glared at us.

The alicorns hovered in midair, flapping, one on each side of it. Twi glanced at Blitz and me. “Stand back, Rainbows. This is going to get ugly.”

I’d never seen Twilight fight to kill before. Her goal was always a gentle takedown, followed by an attempt to reform or apprehend the enemy. This thing was too dangerous. It needed to go. I covered my eyes with a foreleg as bright beams of flame lanced down from Twi and Dusk’s horns, over and over. Crawling, chitinous limbs and wings flared with light and burned. The dragon horror’s roars turned to screams. Even when it had crumbled to ash, Twi and Dusk kept firing, until there was a smoking pit of melted rock in the middle of Ghastly Gorge.

“Think that’s enough there, guys?” asked Blitz, chuckling nervously.

“Probably,” said Dusk.

“Maybe,” agreed Twilight.

Then he and Twi fired off a final volley. Just to be sure.

———

It took Twilight and Dusk a week, working together, to convert his version of the Crystal Mirror so that we could use it to travel back to our world. During that time, they got a visit from Princes Solaris and Artemis. I got the impression it wasn’t a totally friendly visit, but Twi later told me that Dusk was able to convince the princes that the gash had not been entirely our fault, and we’d been instrumental in solving the problem. So yay Dusk, I guess.

Fluttershy and I were busy midwifing Butters and Blitz into their new relationship. We had some nice talks, and more than a few epic four-ways. I still miss those guys. I need to talk to Twi and see if we can go back to visit some time.

Anyway, long story short, they got the mirror working, and Bubble Berry threw a big party to see us all off. At three AM, when we ran out of cider, and AJ passed out in the bounce house, we decided it was time to go. Four or five group hugs later, we flew through the mirror.

Flutters and I stood there in the pre-dawn dark of Twilight’s lab while she fumbled around with a spark glowing over her horn, looking for a light.

“You look worried.” Fluttershy rubbed her cheek against mine.

“Oh… it’s just, powerful emotions have led to bad trouble, lately, and I’m about to be reunited with a bunch of friends who probably think I’m dead. I hope the sky doesn’t open again.”

Fluttershy smiled shyly up at me. “But that’s fixed now. You’re you again. And I, for one, am really glad of it.”

“But what if it’s not? What if there’s still a little connection, and when I get worked up, it all starts up again?”

“I don’t know. Let’s check.”

And Fluttershy kissed me. It was an amazing kiss, but the earth didn’t shake, and the sky didn’t open. And wasn’t that a relief.

The Butterfly Effect

Fluttershy and I had what I guess most ponies would consider an unusual sort of relationship.

We had a rough time the first couple of years after we’d gotten together — I was always following her around like a lost puppy, begging her for sex and attention, and she was always trying to find excuses to sneak off for some alone time. Eventually, we’d settled on a setup that worked for us — I could sleep around as much as I wanted, as long as I always came back to her, and she got to be alone exactly as much as she wanted to. Sometimes I’d bring playmates home for us to share. Sometimes we’d spend whole weekends locked up together in her cottage. Sometimes we’d be apart for a long time. Sometimes I’d come over and we’d just cuddle. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Fluttershy was my wingmare, my Flutterslut, my home base. Sure, we had separate homes, and most of the time we’d sleep in separate beds. But I’d moved from Cloudsdale to Ponyville to be closer to her, and if that isn’t true love, I don’t know what is.

As I skimmed over the treetops, I remembered that first flight school dance, when my friends had made fun of me for approaching the skeletal, slouching filly with acne and braces. And I remembered their envy as she’d gradually blossomed into the hottest filly they’d had ever seen. I thought about our first kiss, and the incident with the whipped cream, and that thing with all the flying turtles and… oh, all of that’s a story for another time.

Anyway, when I flapped down to Fluttershy’s house, I could see her through the window, sitting on her bed knitting. Two white bunnies — one of them Angel, presumably; I could never tell the little fuckers apart — were playing some kind of game with sticks and pebbles at the foot of her bed. She usually left her bedroom window unlatched for me when she was home and awake, so I barged right in.

In retrospect, barreling into her bedroom in a completely different body than she was used to might not have been the best idea. Most people don’t realize it, but underneath all that anxiety, my Flutterslut has some serious anger issues.

Fluttershy was off the bed in a blur, a few loose feathers fluttering to the sheets behind her. She ducked her head under the edge of the bed and came out clutching a Wonderbolts-issue bite dagger in her jaws. Hey, I’d given her that! Glad to see she was getting some use out of it. She backed herself into the far corner of the room, shaking, with a you-will-have-to-take-my-life-before-you-can-have-my-body look in her eyes.

The rabbits, meanwhile, had jumped on top of me, and were repeatedly kicking me in the head and back.

“Dammit!” I screamed, flailing at Angel and his friend with my hooves. “It’s me, Fluttershy! It’s me!” I spun around, so she could see my cutie mark.

She cautiously transferred her dagger from her mouth to her hooves. “Dashie? Is that you?”

“Yes! Get these little monsters off of me!” One of the rabbits had sunk his teeth into my ear. I rolled around banging my head on the floor, trying to dislodge him.

“Prove it!” she hissed, raising the dagger.

“The cutie mark!” I shouted!

She narrowed her eyes. “It could be painted on.”

“The first night I asked you to dance, you were wearing a pink daffodil corsage and a purple dress that was too big for you, and… oh Celestia, it’s biting off my ear!”

Fluttershy dropped the dagger, and rushed over to me. The rabbits scattered. “Oh, Dashie! What did Twilight do to you?”

“She turned me into a colt.”

“Well, obviously. But why? How?”

I really didn’t want to tell Flutters about the vaginal infection, she’d just flip out. “Long story.” I poked at my tender ear. “Is it bad?”

Fluttershy’s legs were legs were still shaking, but she leaned in close to look at the bite mark. “I don’t think Angel even broke the skin.” She glanced down toward my chest and went pale. “But your shoulder! You’re covered in b-blood!”

“This? It’s fine. Hardly hurts. It just needs to be washed and patched up.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “No, Dashie. I think you’re going to need stitches.”

I gulped.

———

“Therth no need t’ be thuch a bhby abht thith,” groused Fluttershy, deftly pulling the needle out through the lip of the gash with her mouth, then pushing it back in again. I was lying on her bed, with her sitting on the leg below my wounded shoulder. My other foreleg was pressed over my eyes.

“I hate needles!” I moaned. “Needles are legitimately scary, unlike most of the stuff you worry about. Are you done yet?”

“Almoth. Hold thill!”

I gritted my teeth and clenched my eyes shut. It wasn’t that it hurt. One thing about trying dumb stunts and crashing all the time is that you develop a pretty intense pain tolerance. It was just watching that needle going in and out of me was… I don’t know. Creepy. Needles are creepy.

“All done.” She carefully taped a bandage over the gash and then slid off the bed and stepped away.

I grinned cautiously, rolling onto my back. “There’s no need for you to get off the bed, you know.” Needles or not, having my favorite mare so nearby had gotten me so hard that my dick ached, so I showed it to her, lifting my leg and slapping it soundly against my belly.

Fluttershy squeaked. But not the cute, happy squeak I’d been hoping for. Instead of blushing, she’d turned pale again.

“What’s the matter?” I rolled back onto my front and looked her in the eyes, but she looked away,

“I… I’m not ready for this.”

“What?” I asked, incredulous.

Fluttershy hunched down. “I’m not ready to have sex with you as a stallion. It’s… you’re scary now. I’m sorry.”

“Scary? Fluttershy, that’s insane! It’s me! We’ve known each other almost our whole lives!” I stood up on the bed, looming over her. “You know I’m not going to hurt you!”

“You’re frightening me,” she whispered. “I’m sorry, but I, um, I need you to go now.”

I felt like I’d been slapped. “What?!”

Fluttershy shuffled her hoof against the floor, still not making eye contact with me. “We can talk about this later, in public. But I’m not comfortable right now, and you need to go.” She scooted back towards the open door of her bedroom. I glimpsed small white shapes skulking at the edge of my vision. Angel was back, and he’d brought his family with him.

I snorted furiously. “Bullshit. I’ve brought stallions back here plenty of times, and you’ve been all over them.”

“Only because you were here to protect me. Now you’re one of of them.” She cringed. “I know it’s not fair. I’m sorry.”

I groaned, growing more desperate. Didn’t she know how badly I needed her? “Flutterslut, you know me! I’m safe!”

“Please don’t call me that. I knew you as a mare. Now you’re bigger, and stronger, and you want to do things to my body, and I can’t, Dashie, I just can’t!”

She was on her way out the door, backing away an inch at a time.

I flapped down to the floor, snorted, and stomped my hoof. “How could you do this to me? All the times I’d looked after you, protected you, stood up for you, and now you’re pushing me away because I showed up with a different junk?”

Tears were rolling down Fluttershy’s cheeks. “Y-you’re not making me any less scared. Please calm down.”

“I cannot calm down! Fluttershy, I need you!” I moved towards her, and she kept moving back until she was cornered at the top of the stairs. “God, I am so, so horny. I am so horny I can’t even think! Flutterslut, please. Just a quick fuck, and I can go.”

Fluttershy’s hoof smacked into the side of my face with all the force she could muster. To be honest I barely felt it, but the fact that she’d hit me left my jaw hanging open. She’d never hit me before! Then she flapped into the air so that she was face to face with me, and her eyebrows went down. For the first time since we’d started arguing, her eyes met mine. They were full of fire and steel.

She had never used the Stare on me before. I hope she never does again. From the outside, it looks cute — a tiny mare dressing down some monster or miscreant. Nothing more than a simple scolding. Well, I have lived through the Stare, and I am here to tell you that there is nothing cute about it. My muscles froze. My heart pounded against my ribs. I couldn’t breathe. I wanted nothing more than to look away from those terrible, burning eyes; my vision had narrowed until they were all that I could see. Her voice, no doubt quiet but firm to an outside observer, echoed in my ears, barking, dominating, commanding. It was all I could do keep from shitting myself.

“How dare you talk to me like that! Do you think that just because I love you, you have a right to my body? Do you really think you can come into my house and demand attention and affection, no matter how I feel about it?” With every word, she flapped forward, and I found myself scooting back.

“I… I’m sorry?”

“Oh. You’re sorry. You barge into my bedroom, you ignore my boundaries, you start making demands, and you’re sorry? Well that’s not good enough, bucko!” She jammed her hoof violently towards her window. “You are going to get out of my house right now, and you are not coming within a mile of this place until I tell you that you can!”

I felt a firm tapping on my forehoof. I looked down to see Angel glaring murder at me. He slowly drew one paw across his throat.

“But, but, Fluttershy, please, I didn’t mean to scare you, I just… I can’t… I didn’t…”

She shook her hoof at me. “Out. Now. No fly zone. Do you understand?”

“Y-yes,” I stammered.

She crossed her forelegs and looked away from me, breaking the Stare. Able to move again, I bounded out the window, sobbing.

———

When I got home, Tank rotored over to greet me. He either didn’t notice or didn’t care that anything was different about me. I gave him some tortoise treats, carried him to my bed, and wept into his shell until it was dark outside. Every once in a while, I would rub out a load of cum into a tissue, still crying while I masturbated. I really wanted chocolate ice cream, but there was nothing in my freezer but ice cubes and a block of freezer-burned spinach.

“This is horse apples,” I muttered, scrubbing at my eyes with my forelegs. “Tank, Mommy… I mean, Daddy needs to go out for a while.”

Tank blinked at me, and whirred off to do whatever it is he does when I’m not home.

So I took a shower and headed down to Berry’s.