Edgy McDarkness, who is a Supercorn, was walking in ponyville with his wife, Rainbow Dash.
"Today is so beautiful!" Rainbow Dash said, and leaned in to kiss Edgy.
"Not as beautiful as you, my love." he replied, patting her rainbow hair on the head. They continued walking for no apparent reason until they found themselves at a beautiful green park.
"Hey, watch this!" Rainbow Dash leaped into the air, twirling and doing tricks. The ponies wowed as they saw her amazing silhouette dance in the air and bust clouds in no time.
"Be careful honey!" Edgy yelled but it was too late. A purple lazer shot through the air and killed Rainbow Dash, who split in half and her top half fell in front of Edgy, blood splattering everywhere. The last thing he saw her do was smile, and nod her head at him before giving out. Her bottom half fell in a lake, so no one could molest it. "No! How dare you!" Edgy screamed and grew in size. His aura multiplied by seven million times, blinding everypony in the park. "She is my wife, not yours!"
He looked left and right, but there were no Shadow deposits. "How am I supposed to use this Shadow form without Shadow deposits? I can't, that's the reason my darkness powers work! Now I'll never be able to defeat you. When I was just a little colt, a scientific exploded near my house and I was caught in the explosion, so-"
"Hey, I'M THE VILLAIN! I'm the one supposed to be monologing. That was my one job and you ruined it!" the very purple unicorn in the sky yelled and
Suddenly, Edgy gave out. "What?" he pondered out loud, looking behind his Super Wings. There was a knife there, it had somehow penetrated his skin, so it must have been a Black Abyss knife, which is like a Shadow knife but edgier.
Then he teleported somewhere. "Hey Twilight." Edgy said and looked behind his Super Wings. The knife was still very deep in his back. He pulled it out and placed it in front of him. "Do you know what this is?"
"There is no time." Twilight gave the knife one glance and then shoved a device in Edgy's hoofs. "Here, Edgie-boy. This will help you in your fight with the Holy Grail, without it you cannot win. Good luck!"
"Thanks Twilight! And oh by the way Rainbow Dash is dead now."
"Oh, she is? That's sad, I always wondered what she was like in bed, but she was tied to you and I don't want your wrath on me."
"YOU WHAT? BUT THAT'S LESBIAN!" Edgy screamed, charging at Twilight. She gulped and frantically teleported him back to the fight, where he charged right into the Holy Grail and broke his horn.
"No! Now I'll never be able to use the device!" he sobbed and hung his neck low. "Holy Grail, please go away, today is a very sad day." The clouds were forming above them and it started raining. Someone was playing sad violin music in the background.
"My love died and now I found out my best friend Twilight is an evil lesbian. How could she? We were best friends for seven years. We told each other all our secrets, and promised each other we would be there no matter what. But then she betrayed me? How could she!" he cried onto the grass.
"There there" the Holy Grail patted his back, cooing him with his voice. "Don't worry, after I kill you, I'll kill every gay, lesbian, and pony that wants to be a different race."
"Really?" Edgy sniffled, looking up at the Holy Grail's face. She was a beautiful and sexy purple unicorn, with a really cool looking silver rapier sword and her horn was really long. Her body was nice on the thighs.
She chuckled. "Even you, Edgy McDarkness, has fallen for my seduction. Tell me, are there any hotels nearby? Maybe I should reward you before ending your life."
Two hours later, a very happy looking Edgy walked out of a hotel, and that is weird because his name is Edgy McDarkness.
The Holy Grail, with a fuzzy and messed up mane, smiled at him. "That was the best experience in bed I have ever had. Ending your life will be a pleasure, Edgy McDarkness."
"I'm going to die a happy Supercorn." he sighed as the Holy Grail gutted her horn into his stomach, disemboweling all his fluids onto the floor. He held his stomach with his hooves in and cried out. "Wait! Can you be my wife? I'll be evil for you!"
The Holy Grail laughed and looked at him with her cute blue eyes. "Nope. I never sleep with the same stallion more than once." and with that she reared back and kicked Edgy McDarkness's head right off.
But it was a trick! He used his Super Magic to turn into smoke and crept behind her, and hugged her. "I beat you in battle, Holy Grail. Why can't you be with me?"
"Get off me!" she cried out and tried to shake him off, but it didn't work. In fact, she was starting to admire him. Maybe I should be his wife.
But then there was an earthquake, and the building came down on top of them.
"Edgy! Edgy, are you okay?" Twilight cried out as she picked up the rubble, trying to find her best friend Edgy McDarkness. "I'm sorry for being a lesbian! You're right, being a lesbian is evil. I will now stop being a lesbian." she picked up a rock and gasped. When the dust cleared, it started raining and showed the body of Edgy McDarkness holding the Holy Grail in an embrace, their lips locked.
"Of course! This romance was meant to be! It's so sad that they died. I'm so sad." Twilight cried onto the ground. She went to the library but she couldn't find any books on being immortal. She spent fifty years trying to find the cure to death, but she couldn't. Eventually, she, too, withered away. And she could never be in bed with Rainbow Dash, but that's okay, because she stopped being a lesbian.
Dedicated to Sarah
