Alexandria the Great

by chillbook2

Rating: teen
Tags: Death, Human, Anthro, Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Adventure, King Sombra, Profanity, Violence
Length: 24649

Alexandria is Equestria's first child of a dragon and pony. She hates being so different, and wishes she could be one or the other instead of half and half. King Sombra uses his dying breath to grant her wish, in ways not expected.

Alexandria is a dragon. Alexandria is also a unicorn. She wishes with all of her heart to be one or the other, just so long as she's whole. An old foe of her mother's just happens to be able to aide her. Now, Alex and Alexandria must work together in order to reach their goals.

Takes place a couple of years after the original Defenders of Harmony.

ARCHIVED STORY

Posted unchanged, unedited, and wholly intact
Originally written: December 21, 2013

Published 2015-12-07 02:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-07 02:40:02 UTC

Tea and Gemstones

“Sorry, Princess Twilight.” said Scootaloo, bowing on one knee. Sweetie Belle and Applebloom did the same, elbowing me to follow. I quickly dropped to my knee, feeling foolish. Of course I was supposed to bow, how could I forget? I know my parents are friends with her but I’ve only met her a few times. My mom kept trying to get me to be friends with her kids, Celestia and Luna, but I never really hit it off with them. Conjure was another matter. He understood how it felt to be different. He even enchanted my jacket for me before school started. I liked him.

“It’s quite alright.” she said. “And I told you to stop calling me ‘Princess’. I’ve known you guys since you were kids.”

“And we told you to stop calling us the Cutie Mark Crusaders. We already got our Cutie Marks.” said Aunt Sweetie. “It was our fault Alex was late. We were having a discussion and we lost track of time.”

“I understand completely. We haven’t even started the tour yet. Alexandria can take a spot next to Platinum Pendant and Sterling Silver here.” said the princess. I got to my hooves and grudgingly took a spot next to my two biggest bullies.

“Nice to see you made it, Blank Flank!” whispered Platinum.

“Yeah, we thought you were going to miss it. What took you so long? Taking advice from your loser aunt?” mocked Sterling.

“You mean my loser aunt Sweetie Belle, head of the Royal Firearms Department? The one with the most perfect aim in Equestria? Yeah, her.” I said, adjusting my shades.

“What’s that?” asked Platinum, reaching into my pocket and pulling out my half-eaten sapphire. “Is this a real gem?”

“No!” I shouted, grabbing it back. I quickly shoved it into my mouth. “Itsh candy, shee?”

“Pay attention, my little ponies.” said Princess Twilight. “We’re about to begin. Come this way.” She led us through the Crystal Empire castle, approaching three tall stones, one yellow, one blue, and one pink. On each stone was a name engraved on the face, ‘Celestia’, ‘Luna’, and ‘Cadence’.

“Now, I want you all to be very careful here.” said the princess. “These are the graves of the three former princesses of Equestria. Who can tell me their names?”

“Princesses Celestia, Luna, and Cadence.” said somepony in the group.

“Correct. Princess Celestia was my teacher. She taught me everything I know about magic and ruling a kingdom. She was like a mother to me.”

“What happened to her?” asked somepony else.

“I suppose it’s fitting that I show you on Valentine’s Day.” muttered the princess.

“What’s Valentine’s Day?” asked a third pony.

“Valentine’s Day is like Hearts and Hooves Day, but on Earth. You’ll get your chance to visit Earth in a few years, when you turn 18. Valentine’s Day is also the day Princess Celestia selflessly gave her life to protect me, my friends and the changelings. Who is familiar with the war?” Nopony raised their hoof. “Okay, okay. About 13 years ago, there was a war. Well, you can’t really call it a war. It was a series of battles, spanning three years, between King Sombra, Queen Chrysalis, Discord, Sunset Shimmer and the Elements and Defenders of Harmony. That would be Fluttershy, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, me, Silver Rift, Conjure, and War Horse.”

“Ooh, War and Pinkie are my parents!” called some filly, Storm, I think her name is.

“Yes. We have moved on and had children. My own kids are with their father, Conjure. Back to the story. Fluttershy is the one who dealt with Sunset Shimmer and Discord. Then, we had a face-off in the Canterlot Castle against Chrysalis and Sombra. We managed to get Sombra to leave, but Chrysalis remained. She tried to hash out a negotiation. When we refused, Princess Celestia took it upon herself to sacrifice her life. Princess Luna got in the way and died tragically herself.”

“What happened to Princess Cadence?” I asked, my curiosity finally taking over.

“She… took her own life. She found out that Celestia expected her to take over when she died and she fell into a depression. She might have made it, if it weren’t for the death of my brother, her husband. She hung herself in this very room. We buried her and the other princesses beneath the floor. We went on to defeat King Sombra, and we let Chrysalis go.”

“Why would you do that?” asked Platinum. “That sounds like a pretty dumb thing to do.”

“Because Chrysalis saved Silver Rift’s life, stupid.” I said. “Not to mention the fact that Chrysalis had a good reason for doing what she did, and Princess Celestia had the whole thing planned out. You think Princess Twilight would really do something like that without good reason?”

“Thank you, Alex. I see you’ve been paying attention in Ms. Doo’s class. Yes, like Alex said, Silver Rift would have died had it not been for Queen Chrysalis. That means, by extension, I would have died, my friends would have died, some of you would never have been born, the humans would have died, Equestria would have been enslaved and Sombra would be running amok, free to do whatever he pleases.”

“Sounds bad.” whispered Sterling.

“Very bad. And that about wraps up the war stories.” said Princess Twilight.

“Awww!” moaned the entire group of foals.

“What?! I’ve never seen a group of students get so wrapped up in one of my lectures like you have.” said Princess Twilight. “Hm… Ah! Since you guys have been so well behaved, and are actually interested in the story, I will show you something.” She raised her hands up high above her head, bathing herself in a bright purple light. The wall behind her cracked open, wide enough for all of us to squeeze through. Lowering her arms, she lead us over to the crevice. Slowly, we followed her in. It was a large room, with a barred cell holding a grey pony with a black mane, red eyes. and half a unicorn horn.

“Hello, Twilight. What brings you here? Oh, and I see you brought some foals. My, my, you and Conjure must have been busy.” he growled.

“This is King Sombra.” said the princess. “Sombra, these are students from the Ponyville schoolhouse. I was just telling them the story of our battle, and they were interested. Care to tell them about it?”

“Oh, I would love to. Over ten years ago, I tried to save Earth and Equestria from instability. Your princess put a stop to my good work and chucked me in here.”

“First thing you should know about King Sombra: he lies. His greatest power is his silver tongue. He is really good at playing mind games.” said Princess Twilight.

“In any case, it was unfair. They gave Chrysalis a second chance.”

“She got a second chance because she helped us defeat you.”

“Betrayed me and her people. It was pure luck that Silver had a way out for her.”

“He’s actually not lying here.” said the princess. “Queen Chrysalis was taking a huge risk by helping us. She had the choice to save herself or us, and she chose us. See what the magic of friendship can do?”

“While it has been absolutely riveting to speak with you, your majesty, I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I’m growing tired.” he growled softly.

“Thank you, Sombra. You’ve been quite helpful. Okay, my little ponies, right this way.” said the princess, leading us out of the prison. I stood back a second, amazed at how tame and calm Sombra appeared. Our eyes met and I felt a sudden pang of pity for him.

“Stay behind”. I walked for the door, slowing down right before I reached it. What could go wrong? I looped back around and stopped in front of Sombra’s cage.

“Hello.” I said. “Was that you who told me to stay behind?”

“Yes. I need a favor from you.” he growled.

“Why would I ever help you? You tried to kill my mom and her friends a bunch of times.”

“All in the past. And these are extenuating circumstances.”

“How so?”

“Just shut up and listen to a dying old stallion’s last request!” he snapped

“Dying?”

“Yes. I’m dying. In fact, I’ll be dead by morning. Unless you help me. I wouldn’t ask you to do anything for free, by the way. You help me with my problem, I help you with your little dragon problem.”

“How do you know?!” I exclaimed in panic.

“Call it a lucky guess. Anyway, time is short. If I were a betting pony, I’d wager that we have 94 seconds exactly before Twilight comes for you. You can help me by letting me help you.”

“What do you mean?” I asked curiously. I shouldn’t have been talking to him, he’s the sworn enemy of my parents and their best friends, but the temptation was too strong. Could he really help me?

“I can make you a unicorn. A whole, pure unicorn.” he said, leaning against the bars.

“But what if I want to be a dragon?” I asked, just curious to his response.

“Technically speaking, you would be a dragon. And a unicorn. Not at once, but at the same time.” he said hesitantly. “How it works doesn’t matter. You have 65.6 seconds.”

“Will it hurt?”

“Nope. You won’t even notice.”

“Will it affect my personality?”

“Strictly speaking, no. You’ll still be the same old Alexandria. 48 seconds.” I thought it over. Could I actually trust him? He would be able to give me everything I ever wanted. What would my parents say? They had said that they would love me no matter what… Okay.

“Do it.” I said. “Do what you have to do.”

“Excellent.” he said. With a laugh, he burst into a plume of smoke. “Oh, it may take a day or two to take effect.” He flew through the bars and right into my mouth, choking me. I coughed and sputtered, collapsing to the ground. A deep warmth filled my body, which was swiftly replaced by an ice-cold chill. With each breath I took, I found I became a little less smothered. After a moment, I could breathe normally again. Getting to my hooves, I scurried out of the prison and ran to catch up with the group. I found them in the cafeteria area, where they had stopped for lunch. I snuck in, unnoticed, and leaned against the wall.

“She’s sooo tacky, don’t you think, Platinum?” asked Sterling Silver, a few feet to my left. Of course. No way they were talking about anyone besides…

“Alex thinks she’s so cool because her mom’s an Element of Harmony, but she’s just a seamstress. Not like she’s doing anything important nowadays.” replied Platinum Pendant. Geez, these two never quit.

“And she’s always wearing that ugly jacket.”

“Just like you two are always wearing those Nightmare Night masks.” I said irritably. “Oh, wait, that’s just your face!” They snapped their heads to the left, just noticing I was there.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t everypony’s favorite Blank Flank.” said Platinum, trotting around me. She pushed me forward, right into Sterling who promptly shoved me back. “We’re not lying, you know. You are always wearing that ugly jacket. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you without it.”

“Why is that, Alex? It’s certainly not for looks, right. I mean, your mother’s a fashionista for heavens sake! Have you learned nothing about style from her?”

“I just like to do my own thing, you know?” I said. “Just starting trends.”

“You know what? I think it’s starting to catch on. I think I might try it.” said Platinum, grabbing my sleeve. “In fact, I might try it right now.” She yanked hard, pulling my jacket off.
FWOOSH!

My wings flew open for everypony to see.

“I knew it! I knew you were a freak!” exclaimed Sterling, grabbing my shades. She ripped them off my face, revealing my green, slitted dragon eyes.

“Give them back!” I said, feeling my fangs elongate. Oh no. That’s never good.

“Or what, Lizard Girl?” said Platinum. “What are you going to d-” I grabbed her by the throat, my claws digging into her neck. I threw her against the wall, my mane frizzing up in my anger.

“Give it back or I’ll be enjoying some barbeque pony for lunch.” I growled, snorting faint smoke. “I’m part dragon, so it’s not technically cannibalism.”

“You wouldn’t!” she cried, tearing slightly.

“I’ve always wondered what flame-broiled bitch tasted like. Guess I’m about to find out.” I said, opening my mouth wide. I spit a large plume of blue fire, scorching in front of me and surely burning her to death. When the flames died down, I was shocked to see that she was wearing a welding mask. A hand grabbed me by the mane and yanked me backwards. Outraged, I swung my left claw at the white stallion who had grabbed me. My nails buried themselves in his mid-section, which had become a large wine cork.

“Jesus Christ, Alex! I know you’re pissed, but was it really necessary to try and burn her to death?” he said.

“Where is she?!” I screamed in my bloodrage. “That was my lunch!”

“Relax, I have some rubies in my chambers. Those are your favorites.”

“Who the hell are you? I’ll kill you to get to her if I have to!”

“Would you really kill your Uncle Conjure?” he said sarcastically. “Come on, we’re basically family. Just then, it clicked into place. I had just spit fire at Platinum, who was saved by Conjure, who I just slashed at, which he defended from by turning into a wine cork. Whoops.

“Do you really have rubies?” I asked, anger replaced with sheer embarrassment.

“Yeah. Looks like you need something to calm you down. Tea and gemstones?” he asked, reaching forward.

“Sounds good.” I answered, grabbing his hand.
` “We have to talk about these anger issues of yours.”

Me, Myself, & I

Alex

“What happened?!” shouted Conjure the Idiot. At least, he seemed an idiot. Everypony seemed like an idiot.

“Don’t tell him, Alexandria.” I said. “He doesn’t need to know.”

“But wouldn’t that be lying?” she asked stupidly. I was beginning to dislike her more and more with every sentence.

“Yes, stupid, it would be lying, but we have to lie to cover our asses!” I exclaimed in anger.

“One more time: What happened?” asked Conjure the Loser.

“Alex and I used to be one and the same, but then we had a chat with that nice unicorn.”

“What unicorn?”

“She’s talking about Lord Sombra.” I said. No point in hiding it any more. “I… we spoke to him and he used his magic to split us in two. I got the more badass, dragon parts, and I assume she got the useless, good-for-nothing unicorn parts.”

“Lord Sombra?” snickered Robert the Retard.

“What else do you want me to call him? He’s my king, my creator, my savior, and my god. I think ‘Lord Sombra’ is an appropriate title.” I said.

“Why did you do that?” asked Robert. Dear Sombra, he’s an idiot.

“Why do you think, moron? The unicorn part of us wanted to be a unicorn and the dragon part wanted to be a dragon. He let us be what we wanted.”

“That was quite nice of him. I should write him a thank-you letter!” exclaimed my dim-wit second half.

“Please, get her out of here. I’m getting ready to eat her kidneys if she says something stupid like that again.”

“Isaiah? What do we do?” asked Robert.

When he lets me out, I’ll slice off Conjure’s horn. Then, I’ll burn Robert and, if I’m lucky, I can make it back to the cell before anypony notices, I thought to myself.

“That will never work.” said Alexandria. “Mr. Conjure would be able to block you before you could even think about attacking him.”

“Did you hear me?” I asked, utterly perplexed. “I didn’t say that out loud, did I?”

“I don’t think so. I just heard you speaking in my head. See if you hear this.” she said, closing her eyes.

“Hello, Alex. Don’t try to escape. They just want to know how this happened. When we tell them, I’m sure they’ll respect our decision.” echoed a voice in my head. Not just any voice. Alexandria’s voice.

“It seems we have some sort of telepathy. Wonder how handy that’ll be.” said Alexandria.

“Not very.” I whispered. “It’s probably just going to be a huge pain in the flank.”

“Let me get this straight:” said Conjure. “You are little Alexandria, the daughter of Spike and Rarity, except that you asked Sombra to split you into two parts, a dragon and a unicorn?”

“Yes.” we said together.

“Are you going to be doing that often?”

“Yes.” we said, again in perfect harmony.

“Delightfully creepy.” said Robert. “Isaiah, we have something very dangerous to do, and I think we should flip a coin to do it.”

“I agree.” said Conjure, pulling out a bit. “Call it.”

“Heads.” said Robert.

“Okay.” he said, flipping the coin. It fell onto the back of his palm, heads facing up.

“Yes!” shouted Robert.

“Damn it! Best two out of three?”

“Nope! You have to tell Rarity! Sweet mother of Luna, that was close.”

“What do you even want me to say?”

“Just say that there was an accident and something happened to Alex. Let her know that she’s okay and we’ll fix it.”

“What if she wants to see Alex for herself?”

“Tell her… it’s dangerous! That’s not a lie, right? You guys are dangerous, aren’t you?”

“Very.” I said. I grabbed the bars of my cage and yanked them, snapping them off. I stepped out and walked to Robert. I reached into his pocket and grabbed the bag of rubies. I popped one in my mouth and sat on the ground. “Fetch me some lava, will ya? I’m really thirsty.”

“On second thought, I’ll tell Rarity.” said Robert headed towards the door.

“Oh no you don’t! You won the coin toss, fair and square. Later.” said Conjure. He illuminated his stupid little horn and…
POP!

He was gone, leaving me alone with an idiot and a big, strong idiot. Ugh.

“How about that lava?” I asked smugly.

“Bite me.” he answered.

“With pleasure.” I answered, baring my teeth. “I love to play rough.”

“You’re super creepy.”

“Aren’t we all?”

Alexandria

“Aren’t we all?” asked Alex sarcastically. I watched her silently, reading her movements. She was inching her way closer and closer to the door. Not so fast.

“Alex, my dear, I think it would be quite rude to sneak out on our gracious hosts.” I said. “They’re only trying to help us.”

“You don’t shut up, do you?” she asked rudely. “Do you really think they’re going to let us stay separate? They’re going to try their damndest to recombine us. You don’t want that, do you?”

“I’m sure that if we talk to them, they’ll understand.” I said. “Why don’t we ask them nicely to leave us be?”

“Fine, I’ll try it.” she said. “Hey, Robert! Let us stay separate, you fat tub-o-lard!”

“This is bizarre.” said Mr. Robert. “Listen, Alex, Alexandria. I understand that you want to stay apart, but there’s no telling the consequences of allowing you to do so. For all we know, this might kill you.”

“Ha! As if! Lord Sombra would never do anything to harm us. We’re perfectly safe.” she laughed confidently.

“How can you be so sure? Sombra is a slick little bastard. Maybe he’s trying to manipulate you.”

“Watch your mouth! Lord Sombra loves me and only has my best interests at heart.”

“Sure about that? Because Sombra once made it seem like he had Silver Rift’s best interests at heart. He almost ended up dead.”

“I am not stupid Silver Rift. I am Alex the Great, Princess of Darkness. When Lord Sombra returns, he will punish you oh so severely. I suggest you begin your apology letters.”

“Alex.” I said softly. “Calm down. I’m sure Mr. Robert meant no disrespect towards King Sombra.”

“Lord Sombra!” she said exasperated.

“Sorry. Lord Sombra. Mr. Robert is just worried about us.”

“There is no us. As soon as I find a way to get out, I’m leaving you here, all alone to play perfect little princess with the humans and Twilight Sparkle.”

“Humans?” I asked. “What are humans?”

“Why are you so stupid?” asked Alex. “I’m pretty sure I wasn’t that dim when we were combined.”

“I am a human.” said Mr. Robert.

“Is that like a different species?” I asked curiously.

“Yes. Would you like to see my true form?” I nodded. He closed his eyes and scrunched his face up in concentration. A faint silver light enveloped him, and his skin began to melt and re-shape. His coat receded, and his skin was very pale. His eyes shifted from blood-red to bright blue and his mane shrunk down to be flat-top and blonde. He also shrunk down about a foot.
POP!

Conjure reappeared suddenly before us, holding his cheek in pain. He looked back and forth between Alex and Mr. Robert, in shock.

“Did I miss something?” he asked.

“Mr. Robert was just showing us that he was a human. It’s quite interesting. What happened to you?”

“Your mother slapped me across the face. Not that I can blame her. Can both of you gather here so I can test something?” he asked, gesturing towards the middle of the room. I happily trotted over to where he was pointing, while Mr. Robert had to drag Alex. Conjure closed his eyes and muttered a strange incantation. His horn began to glow, sparking and spewing green light. Two thin beams flew from his horn, hitting me and Alex in the chest. A ball of white light, about the size of a basketball, grew inside Alex’s chest. The light faded from bright white to dark grey, eventually turning jet-black. I looked down at my chest, where a black ball of light faded into light grey, brightening to white. Her light protruded from her chest, mine doing the same. They drew together slowly, sending tendrils of energy at each other. They sparked and sputtered, melding together slowly, dragging me and Alex towards one another. My right hand swerved forward, pointing directly at Alex, while her left did the same. Our hands grew closer together and when they met…
BOOM!

I flew backwards, slamming against the wall. The white light flew towards me, hitting me in the stomach. A bright light blinded me temporarily. It slowly faded, returning my vision. I blinked hard, trying to make out what was happening. Across from me, pinned to the wall, was a unicorn with a bright white coat, a white and grey mane, pale grey eyes, and a slightly curved horn. Who was that? A large spike of pain shot through my head, causing me to grimace. I closed my eyes tight, blinking hard. When I opened my eyes, I was looking back at Alex.

“Sweet Sombra, did you do that too?” she asked, dropping to her knees.

“Yes. That was interesting to say the least.” I replied, falling on my flank.

“What happened?” asked Conjure.

“”I saw out of Alex’s eyes…” I began.

“And I was able to see out of her’s.” she finished. “Oh, and I would like to ask you what the hell was that?”

“You are a filly, watch your mouth.” said Conjure evasively.

“That may be true, but she does bring up a valid question. What did just happen?” I asked curiously. “That really did hurt, you know.”

“Er… I did a spell to try to fuse you back together. It clearly didn’t work. This magic is off the charts! Your soul is split in two!”

“Not to be rude, Conjure, sir, but why would you do that? We are serious, you know. We have no desire to return to normal. Can’t you honor our decision?”

“It’s not that simple. Rarity is going to want you in one piece. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to do so. Your soul is ripped, but if it was a clean tear I’d be able to fix it ten seconds flat. Too bad for us, it’s frayed, torn and jagged. I can’t join them back together alone. I need your help to do so.”

“Why?”

“Your soul-pieces are hostile towards each other. The only way to fix them is for there to be perfect harmony, which can’t happen unless you two make an effort to recombine.”

“Which means that we’re never going back together!” laughed Alex. “We are never, ever, ever, getting back together!”

“Wonderful! But that begs the question: What do you intend to do now?” I asked.

“I’m doing what I was born to do: Revive Lord Sombra. How about you?”

“I think I want to learn magic. Maybe become a royal alchemist like Mr. Conjure. Well, I guess I will bid you farewell.” I said, walking for the door. Mr. Robert transformed back into pony form and jumped in the doorway, blocking the exit.

“I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m afraid I can’t let you do that.” he said, puffing out his chest. “We can’t allow you two to leave. You two have to recombine, and you’re not leaving until you do.”

“Robert, there’s no point.” said Mr. Conjure. “We may never convince them. Their soul was split in half. One half got the nicer, more happy and proper characteristics of Alex, and the other got the more evil, negative characteristics. They won’t agree. I want to tell you that if you don’t recombine, you’ll die, but that would be a lie. Their soul-halves have restabilized, so there’s no chance of any physical or mental harm. It seems Sombra knew what he was doing.”

“I told you Lord Sombra would never hurt me. He just wanted to help, and now he’s dead. For now. If you would excuse me, I have to go revive my master.” said Alex, making a move for the door.

“No! Even if we can’t recombine you, we have to keep an eye on you.” said Mr. Robert. “Maybe your souls are stable now, but what if Sombra wanted it to be so at first, and later it would explode out of control?!”

“Lord Sombra wouldn’t do that!” shouted Alex, clawing at Mr. Robert. He caught her hand and flipped her over on her back. Still holding her by the wrist, he pressed his hoof against her throat.

“Maybe he didn’t mean to, but Sombra makes mistakes! He is a little too confident in his own abilities and that’s what ultimately led to his downfall! He might have screwed up.” said Mr. Robert. Alex looked at him, mulling over what he had said. Slowly, she opened her mouth. Instead of words, blue flames spewed from her mouth, scorching Mr. Robert’s hoof. Not flinching, he shoved his hand into her mouth, blocking out the flames. Alex seemed to choke a little from holding in her own fire. Her eyes teared up, and she slapped the ground with her palm.

“Thank you.” said Mr. Robert, removing his hand. Alex rolled over on her side, coughing and sputtering. She looked at me, a little greener than usual, then swung her head back down.

“Blaaaargh!” she retched. An acrid smell filled the air, and a hissing came from the spot next to her. She crawled away in pain, reaching for support. I ran over and grabbed her hand, helping her up.

“Are you alright, darling?.” I said. “I think you need a ginger ale.”

“That doesn’t help dragons.” she muttered. “I need melted copper.”

“I’ll clean it up.” groaned Mr. Conjure.

“Be careful with that. Dragon stomach acid is vicious. It will eat away at you til there’s nothing left. Better wear gloves.” she said smugly.

“I’ll keep that in mind when I’m scrubbing the acid off of your new bedroom floor.” said Mr. Conjure.

“What?”

“You two are sleeping here. I just need to summon some beds. Your mother made me promise to keep an eye on you, so keep an eye I will. But first, I’ll lay out some ground rules: Curfew is 10 pm. No fighting. Pay attention to what me and Robert teach you. Got it?”

“Of course.” I said with a smile.

“Hm.” grunted Alex.

“What was that, ma’am?” asked Mr. Robert. “It seems you have something in your throat. Would you like for me to clear it for you?”

“Sorry.” she said quietly. “I’ll listen.”

“Fantastic.” said Mr. Conjure. “First lesson starts at 6 pm. Until then you are not allowed out of the room. I have to let Twi, Luna and Celestia know that I’m going to be busy for a while.” He snapped his fingers, causing the vomit and chairs to disappear. He walked out, closely followed by Mr. Robert. Another snap of the fingers closed and locked the door.

“Nopony’s gonna get me my copper?” asked Alex resentfully. Through the door, I heard another snap. In Alex’s hand appeared a goblet, filled with a thick, bubbling orange liquid. “Thanks. Assholes.”

Blood

Alex

“What do you think the first lesson is going to be?” asked Alexandria, at 6 pm exactly.

“I don’t know, and quite frankly, I don’t care.” I replied. “What could they possibly teach me? I’m already smarter and stronger than all of you.”

“You’re quite sure of yourself, aren’t you?” she said.

“Why wouldn’t I be? I asked, flipping my mane around. “I’m amazing!”

“Well, for one, Mr. Robert pretty much… how should I put this? He pretty much handed your ass to you on a silver platter.”

“Getting reckless here, are we? Never heard you get a potty mouth like this.”

“Don’t tell Mr. Conjure and Mr. Robert.”

“I swear to everything, if you call them ‘Mister’ one more time, I will kill you!” I said angrily.

“Why are you so angry? You should be ecstatic! We’ve been given a chance to be what we’ve always wanted to be.”

“I’m angry because I’m still here, and Lord Sombra is not.” I said, my heart throbbing.

“Why are you so obsessed with Lord Sombra?” she asked stupidly.

“Listen to yourself. Lord Sombra is the best thing that ever happened to us. You don’t want to repay him for what he’s done for us?”

“I suppose I would. Maybe I will thank him. Some day.” she said.

“Hello, girls, what’s shaking?” said Conjure, walking into our new room. “I have a plan and permission from Twilight to teach you two how to live separate from each other.”

“Here’s what’s going to happen.” said Robert. “Conjure will be training Alexandria while I will be teaching Alex.”

“No!” I shouted. “No! I’ll take Conjure, Alexandria can have Robert.”

“Why so jumpy?” asked Robert, crossing his arms. “You scared?”

“No! Why would I be scared of you?”

“I just received second-degree burns and I didn’t so much as put Neosporin on the injury!” he said, shoving his arm in my face. His arm was was scorched red and the skin was peeling off, revealing the red, raw meat of his arm. “I doubt you want to mess with me.”

“We are going to be civil about this.” said Conjure. “No fighting, no violence, nothing. You guys have nothing to worry about. I will be watching over both groups, making sure everything goes over smoothly.”

“Thank Sombra.” I muttered under my breath.

“That being said, I’m going to summon a 2-foot thick, soundproof, concrete wall.” he said, slamming his hands to the ground. A barrier flew up through the ground, dividing the room in two.

“Conjure, you lying sumbitch!” I shouted, rushing to the wall. I pounded the wall with my fist, screaming for him to let me out.

“I haven’t had a chance to truly introduce myself. I am Robert, AKA General War Horse. You are to address me as such. You are to listen to my every command, swiftly and without question. You are to keep a clean tongue when near me, or I will knock your teeth out. Any questions?”

“Yeah. What the hell are you general of?” I asked.

“I am general of Princess Twilight’s Elite Royal Guard. Along with Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo, we run the military of Equestria.” he said, walking over to me. He swung his fist back and punched me in the mouth. “Remember what I said about knocking your teeth? I wasn’t bluffing.”

“That hurt!” I cried, holding my jaw. “That hurt like a son of a-”

“Watch it! I won’t hold back this time.”

“Gun.” I amended. “Like a son of a gun.”

“Thank you.” he said. “Now that we understand each other, we can begin.” he said, walking over to the divider wall. He punched it hard, causing it to rattle and shake. “That let Isaiah know that we’re ready to begin. You are going to try and create a mental barrier to block Alexandria out of your mind.”

“How am I supposed to do that?” I asked.

“Shit if I know. Just, I dunno, focus on not focusing on her.”

“What?”

“Good luck.” he said. A spike of pain flared in my head. My brain erupted into echoing agony. My brain seemed to melt into a puddle within my skull.

“Sorry about this, Alex. Apparently this is part of the lesson.” shouted Alexandria’s voice in my head.

“Make it stop!” I screamed.

“Come on, Alex! You can do it!” called somepony. I think it might have been Robert, but my senses were blurring.

“Robert, please, make it stop!”

“Oh God, you’re not joking?” he asked. He ran over to the divider and smashed into it. A little window opened in the divider, through which Conjure stuck his head through.

“Is she quitting?” he asked.

“Yes! Stop her!” yelled Robert.

“Alexandria! Enough!”

“I’m so, so sorry!” called Alexandria. “Please forgive me!”

“That’s okay!” I gasped, pain fading away slowly. “It’s fine, you only caused me horrible, mind-numbing pain!”

“Are you upset with me?” she asked.

“No. Not like you hurt me in ways I can only begin to describe.” I said sarcastically. “I’m only sitting here, fantasizing on how to repay you for what you’ve done. No biggy.”

“Oh, thank heavens!” she said. “Carry on, Conjure, sir.”

“Do your own thing with Alexandria.” said Robert. “I’ll work with Alex separately.”

“Need anything?” asked Conjure.

“My armor, Mjolnir, and a knife.” listed Robert. Conjure snapped his fingers, summoning a full set of golden amor, a large warhammer and a large kitchen knife. Robert grabbed the hammer and knife, letting the armor fall to the floor.

“Anything else?” asked Conjure.

“Nope. Carry on.” said Robert. Conjure snapped his fingers, closing the wall. Robert leaned his hammer against the wall, grabbed the armor off the floor and placed it next to the hammer.

“Are you alright?” he asked stupidly.

“No! I understand if you hate Lord Sombra, and if you hate me, but at least have the courtesy to torture me yourself. Don’t make my other half do it.”

“That’s not how it is.” he said. “I was truly trying to teach you something. If you two have complete access to each other’s minds, you’ll never have a moment of peace. I didn’t know it hurt so bad.”

“It does.” I said. “Do we have to do it again?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Are you up for it?”

“One condition: Don’t let Alexandria know that she’s hurting me.”

“Why do you care?” asked Robert.

“Er… I… She doesn’t need to know that she has the power to hurt me.” I lied, frizzing my mane up with my claws.

“You ready to go again?” asked Robert.

“No. I’m… starving.” I said.

“How about a ruby?”

“No, no, no! I’ve been eating rubies all day and I’m still hungry. I wish you would have let me eat that Platinum bi-. That Platinum Pendant character.”

“Hungry?” he said, tilting the knife. “Let me cut you a deal.”

“What do you have in mind?” I asked. Without answering, he pointed the blade down at his wrist.

“What are you do-” I began, watching as he stabbed the knife into his unburned forearm. He twisted it back and forth twice, then yanked it. Blood squirted from the wound, dripping onto the floor.

“You like the taste of bloody meat, right?” he asked, leaning his leaking arm over me. I opened my mouth wide, letting his blood drip into my mouth. The delicious liquid splashed onto my tongue, bursting with super, amazing, indescribable awesomeness. You’d have to be a dragon to understand.

“You’re kidding, right?” I asked, letting some of his blood drip onto my lips. “Why would you do this for me?”

“If you can successfully block out Alexandria, I’ll cut out a couple hunks of flesh for you.” he said, avoiding my question.

“Doesn’t that hurt?” I asked.

“A little. I’ve been through worse.” he said, clamping his hand down on his wound. “Are you going to give it a try or what?”

Alexandria

Mr. Conjure- Oops. I promised Alex that I would stop calling him that. Conjure summoned a wall in the middle of the room, splitting it in half.

“Why did you divide the room?” I asked.

“It’s necessary for our lesson.” he said. “You are going to try to speak to Alex.”

“How? I thought you said this wall was soundproof.”

“It is.”

“Then how am I supposed to- Ooooh!” I said, figuring it out. “Use our telepathic connection!”

“Exactly. We start as soon as Robert gives me the signal.” he said. He snapped his fingers and two chairs appeared out of thin air. He took a seat and offered me the other.

“What’s the signal?” I asked, sitting down. Just then, the divider wall rattled and shook.

“That is the signal. Concentrate on leaving Alex a message.”

“Will it hurt?”

“I don’t know. Based off of what happened last time, I think we can assume that it does give a bit of a headache. It won’t cause any lasting harm though.” he said. “Ready?”

“Yes.” I said, closing my eyes.

“Good luck.” was the last thing I heard before I was inside Alex’s mind. Images of Sombra flew through my head. Pictures of when he helped us, and pictures of things that didn’t happen yet. Pictures of Sombra and Alex sitting on the throne of Canterlot Castle. Pictures of fire and death and destruction.

“I’m looking through her mind. Some of this is memory, while some of it is pure fantasy.” I said, ignoring the slowly growing spike of pain in my head.

“Alexandria.” said Conjure from far away. “Remember, you’re leaving her a message. You shouldn’t be looking through her mind like that.”

“Sorry about this Alex. Apparently it’s part of the lesson.” I said with my mind. The wall shook and trembled again.

“What is it?” said Conjure, snapping his fingers. A window appeared in the wall. He stuck his head out of it, starting a conversation with Robert. I couldn’t hear what they were saying.

“Yes! Stop her!” yelled Robert.

“Alexandria! Enough!” shouted Conjure. I pulled out of Alex’s mind.

“I’m so, so sorry!” I called. “Please forgive me!”

“That’s okay!” she groaned. “It’s fine, you only caused me horrible, mind-numbing pain!”

“Are you upset with me?” I asked.

“No. Not like you hurt me in ways I can only begin to describe.” she said. “I’m only sitting here, fantasizing on how to repay you for what you’ve done. No biggy.”

“Oh, thank heavens!” I said. “Carry on, Conjure, sir.”

“Do your own thing with Alexandria.” said Robert. “I’ll work with Alex separately.”

“Need anything?” asked Conjure.

“My armor, Mjolnir, and a knife.” listed Robert. Conjure snapped his fingers, summoning a full set of golden amor, a large warhammer and a large kitchen knife. Robert grabbed the hammer and knife, letting the armor fall to the floor.

“Anything else?” asked Conjure.

“Nope. Carry on.” said Robert. Conjure snapped his fingers, closing the wall. Turning to me, he said, “What the hell was that, Alexandria?!”

“I’m sorry! I was only doing what you told me to do!” I cried. “I’m sorry if I made you angry!”

“No, I mean how did you look through her mind like that? I thought you could only talk to each other.”

“Well, we haven’t had any practice, so I’m not sure what we’re capable of.” I said. “I went to speak to her, but I was suddenly looking through her memories and daydreams and the like. I was reading her mind.”

“Are you bleeding?” he asked. An odd thing to ask.

“I don’t think so.” As I said this, I noticed the warm liquid dripping faintly from my nose. “I guess I am.”

“Tilt your head back and pinch your nose.” he said.

“It’s fine.” I said, thin blood drip growing thicker and thicker. “It’s just a little nosebleed. No reason to stop the lesson.”

“Yeah, I think it is. You’re looking like a Kool-Aid fountain.” he said.

“What’s Kool-Aid?” I asked, dropping to the ground. My nose wasn’t just bleeding anymore. It was gushing. “Perhaps you’re right. Tilt my head back?”

“That’s not gonna cut it anymore.” said Conjure, rushing to help me up. He snapped his fingers, bathing me in a faint green light. My stream of blood slowed and, eventually, stopped.

“Thank you.” I said weakly. I still felt horrendous, but we had things to do. “I feel much better.”

“No you don’t.” said Conjure. “You lost a lot of blood. I think you might need a transfusion.”

“What makes you think that?”

“A few reasons. Like the fact that you’re sitting in a pool of you’re on blood. Also, the fact that we’ve already had this conversation, twice. You’ve passed out swiftly after each one. I’ve taken some blood, and I just sent it to a lab to check your blood type.”

“What are you talking about.” I said, blinking hard. Now we were in a hospital room.

“What do you mean, ‘What are you talking about?’ I’ve been silent for twenty minutes.”

“You were talking about me passing out.”

“Alexandria, that was well over an hour ago.” he said. “You’ve been drifting in and out of consciousness the entire time. Don’t worry, you’ve gotten the blood you need.”

“Alex donated? Doesn’t sound like her style.”

“Well, that’s because she didn’t. She tried, but it turns out you two have different blood types. You have O-, Alex is AB+. We just had to find somepony with that super rare O-.”

“Who donated?” I asked. In answer, he raised his left arm, which had a little bandage.

“As it would just so happen, I have O- myself.”

“You gave me your blood?” I asked. “That’s the nicest thing anypony has ever done for me. Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. I’m sure you’d do the same for me.”

“Where’s Alex?”

“She’s working with Robert. She’s being taught some mental exercises. I’ll go tell them you’re up. Alex would like to see you.”

“Really?” I asked.

“Probably. She wanted you to live, after all.”

“Before you go, I just wanted to know what happened to me.”

“I don’t know for sure, but I do have a theory.”

“Lay it on me.”

“I think that when you entered Alex’s mind, she subconsciously defended against you. She attacked your mind and hot you so hard that it caused a physical reaction.”

“Don’t tell her.” I asked.

“Why not?”

“I don’t think she needs the guilt.”

“You know what? I think you’re right.”

Happy Birthday to Me

Alex

I opened my eyes, stretching out my arms in my bed. Sitting up, I ran my claws through my mane. Over to my left was Alexandria, sitting up in her bed, brushing her mane.

“Happy Birthday, Alex.” she said cheerily.

“What are you talking about? Our birthday isn’t until October.” I said.

“Yes, but it’s been exactly one year since we were separated, which is when we became two different ponies, which is kind of like our birth.”

“It’s been a year already, huh?” I asked, jumping to my feet.

“Yes it has. I got you a little something.” she said, tossing me a small, wrapped box, complete with a bow.

“I didn’t get you anything. I am moderately sorry about that.” I said, ripping open the present. “Not really, since I don’t care.” Inside the box was half of a red unicorn horn.

“Do you like it?” she asked in anticipation.

“You’re shitting me, right? No way in hell that this is what I think it is.” I said, filled with joy.

“It is exactly what you think it is. Conjure was teaching me invisibility, and we played a little game of hide-and-seek. When it was my turn to hide, I may have slipped into Princess Twilight’s chambers and, let’s just say borrowed this. But, you know, forever.”

“You broke into Twilight Sparkle’s bedroom and stole Lord Sombra’s horn, just to give me a present for a holiday that only makes sense because of a technicality?” I asked. “I really, really, really hate to say this, but that is literally the most badass thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Well, thank you.” she said. Just then, I had an idea.

“Okay, I may have lied. I have something to give you.” I said, reaching under my bed. I pulled out a briefcase, laid it on my bed and popped it open. Inside was a heart-shaped ruby, a raindrop-shaped sapphire, a wind-swirl shaped emerald and a topaz shaped like a mountain. “Here you go. A Fire Ruby, a Water Sapphire, an Earth Topaz and an Air Emerald. Use them in dresses or something.”

“No way! I couldn’t possibly receive such a generous gift.”

“Let’s skip the part where you have an internal argument with yourself and just take them.”

“Where did you get them?”

“Remember when Spike taught us how to grow gems?”

“No.”

“That’s because it was tucked into the dragon part of our personality, meaning I got it.” I said. “Don’t worry, if I want some more, I’ll grow some more. Now take them, it’s time for our lessons.”

“Well… if it’s really no trouble… I have the greatest idea for a new dress!” she squealed, eyes twinkling.

“You are your mother’s daughter.” I said, walking over to her with the briefcase. I threw it on her bed and, after a seconds hesitation, I squeezed her up in a tight hug. “You have no clue how much this means to me.”

“It was no trouble, my dear. And what exactly do you mean by that? You keep talking about Mom as if she’s not your mom as well.”

“She’s not my mom. She’s your mom, but I don’t have a mother.”

“What do you mean?”

“What I mean is I am not a unicorn. Since Rarity is a unicorn, I cannot possibly be her daughter, by any logical thinking.”

“Sombra’s a unicorn, but you consider him your father.”

“That’s different. He literally created me. Which reminds me, I need this horn so much, so I can’t lose this. Don’t tell Conjure and the General.”

“What do you intend to do with it?” she asked.

“A little of this, a little of that.” I said evasively. “I might make a necklace out of it.”

“Would you like for me to make it for you? I’ve been learning to make jewelry.”

“No. I have to be the one who does it.” I said, flipping the horn over in my hand. I shoved it in my pocket, unbelievably happy.

“Alex! You’re late!” shouted the General. “By, like, fifteen minutes!”

“Shut up, War!” I yelled back. “We’re exchanging presents!”

“Well, hurry your ass up and get down here!”

“See you later, Alexandria. Have fun with your super stupid, froo-froo magic crap.” I said, walking out of the room. I turned to the left and crashed into the General’s chest, falling to my butt.

“Get up.” he said, grabbing my wrist. “What’s this about exchanging presents?”

“Alexandria had this stupid idea that today is sort of like our birthday, because it’s been a year since we’ve been split.”

“Has it? Well, what did she get you?”

“Lady stuff.” I said. “You don’t want details.”

“Say no more.” he replied, looking uneasy. “That doesn’t excuse you from being late. So, as punishment, I need you to polish my armor.”

“You don’t want to punish me.” I said, rolling my eyes. “You just don’t feel like polishing it yourself, you lazy bum!”

“I can neither confirm nor deny that to be true.” he said, turning away. He led me through the halls of the Crystal Castle, down to the armory. When we got there, he sat me down in front of his golden armor and handed me a jar of polish. I grabbed a rag and coated in polish. I waited until the General left and then I went to work.

“Sorry, War.” I snickered to myself. “Not really.” I grabbed the chestpiece and pit a huge hole in it. I chewed on the gold, savoring the taste. I swallowed involuntarily, then leaned forward and took another bite. This time, I controlled myself and spit it out. I balled it up and shoved it in my pocket, hiding it from view just as the General was walking in.

“What the hell?!” he screamed. “Did you eat my armor?!”

“I’m sorry. I was hungry.” I said, looking away.

“Dude! That’s not cool! I was going to let you know that lessons would be postponed until tomorrow, because Princess Twilight needs me to guard her on her trip to Earth! How am I supposed to do my job without my armor?”

“I was hungry.” I repeated. “I had the munchies. That only gold would satisfy.”

“What does that even mean?!” he asked angrily. “You know what? I don’t care. Jesus Christ, girl, do you know how much that armor cost me?”

“Nothing. Conjure made it for you on your birthday.”

“That’s besides the point! I have to go get a new set. Twenty laps around the Empire and don’t let your feet hit floor! I’ll know if you did it or not, so don’t pull some slick shit, capiche?”

“Yes sir.” I said, saluting.

“How can you have sarcastic body language?” he asked in confusion. “In any case, I’ll see you later. Get on those laps!”

“Oh, but of course.” I said, leaving the armory. I ran up the stairs and ran into the nearest room. I punched my hand through the window, shattering the glass. I jumped out and flapped my wings, rising in the air.

“Worth it.” I said, pulling the ball of gold out of my pocket. I squished and shaped it into a thin thread. Wrapping the gold around the horn, I spewed small flames, melding the gold into Lord Sombra’s horn. I draped the chain around my neck and tied it there.

“Thanks Alexandria.” I said.

Alexandria

I stowed the suitcase under my bed, along with my design book. I had big plans for those dresses. Maybe I could make dresses for me and Alex and design suits for Conjure and Robert. The possibilities were endless. I grabbed the design book and levitated a quill over to me. Grabbing the quill, I opened the book and began scribbling hastily what the dresses should look like. After about a minute, I had enough to work with. After lessons, I would just have to take some measurements.

“Good morning, Alexandria.” said Conjure, entering the room. “How are you?”

“I’m doing just fine, and you?” I asked, smiling brightly.

“Fantastic. I have some bad news, however. Lessons will be cancelled today.”

“Aww! Why?” I groaned.

“Princess Twilight needs to meet with the United Nations of Earth. Since Twilight hates pretty much everyone on the UNE, I have to go with her to keep her in check.”

“There’s going to be no lesson today? We were just about to learn the next level of alchemy!” I complained.

“I know, but I swear we’ll do it tomorrow. Quit your whining.”

“I’m not whining! I’m complaining! This is whining: Why can’t-”

“No!” laughed Conjure. “I know exactly how this goes! You are definitely your mother’s daughter.”

“You know, Alex said the same thing earlier. As she was the one who said it, I assumed it was an insult of some sort that I just didn’t understand, but now that you’re saying it, I think I’ll accept it.” Just then, Robert walked in, cradling his armor’s chestpiece.

“Isaiah! I need a new set of armor!” he said.

“Robert, that armor I gave you is practically indestructible. It’s a special mix of gold and a titanium-diamond alloy of my own creation. How did you manage to break it?”

“Alex.” he said simply, raising the chest and revealing the gaping hole. It looked as if somepony bit into it.

“I can make it!” I said cheerily. “Let me try!”

“Well, since there’s no lesson today, why not?” said Conjure, materializing a piece of chalk with his horn. He tossed it to me.

“Thank you.” I said, catching it. I ran over to the nearest wall and drew a little plus sign. Around it, I put three circles, filling each circle with the text Ξρεατε, Δεστροψ, Εχξηανγε (Create, Destroy, Exchange in some ancient Earth language. Grease, I think.) I drew a triangle around the circles, and a huge circle around the triangle, bordering the circle with the text as well.

“Here.” said Conjure, summoning a knife.

“I can’t wait until I can do that.” I said, grabbing the knife. I pricked my finger with it, and let three drops of blood fall on my alchemy circle. The circle glowed red and the symbols burned black. I touched the middle with my palm, turning the circle from red to grey. I clenched my fist and pulled slowly, dragging out a suit of golden armor. One last yank pulled it out completely, and I handed it to Robert.

“Impressive.” he said, putting it on. “Just like the old set!”

“Except that this is far lighter, more breathable and much more comfortable.” I said. “No offense, Conjure, but I, being a fashionista, can’t overlook certain details such as mobility and appearance.”

“What about the look changed?”

“I altered the accents, the chest is a little bolder, the boots more subtle, and I added Princess Twilight’s Cutie Mark on the back and helmet.”

“Well done.” said Conjure, snapping his fingers. My circle disappeared from the wall. “Thanks for your help, Alexandria, but we have to go.”

“Right.” said Robert, walking towards the door. “See you later.”

“Wait!” I called. “Where’s Alex?!”

“Doing laps around the Empire. Don’t help her.”

“Alright, alright.” I said, more to myself than anypony, as they walked out. I jumped onto my bed and thought about my gift to Alex. I had a sneaking suspicion that something was going on, something Alex didn’t let me in on. I closed my eyes and concentrated on making a connection with her.

“Alex.” I thought. “Are you there?”

“Of course I’m here, stupid! You’re putting thoughts into my head.” she responded, voice echoing in my head.

“Is the connection stable?” I asked worriedly.

“It has been for three months! Why would it suddenly screw up now?”

“I have a question. Why did you eat the armor?”

“I needed the gold for Lord Sombra’s horn. To make a necklace like you said.”

“Really? That doesn’t make any sense.”

“Why doesn’t it?”

“Because if you wanted gold, you would have stolen it from me or Conjure. You’re too scared of Robert to steal from him.”

“I’m not scared of him! I’m not scared of anypony. I know what he’s capable of, and have a healthy respect for his power, but I do not fear him.”

“Even so, what was more important than your respect for Robert? I can think of only one thing.”

“Enlighten me.” she said, panic in her voice rising.

“You know that the armor wasn’t just gold. It was mixed with titanium and diamond.”

“What relevance does that bear?”

“Titanium is really good at holding repair spells, although you’ll have a hard time getting one on. Diamond, however, increases the power of almost any spell cast on it. Something to amplify a spell and something that is difficult to enchant, but also holds the enchantment better? Sounds like a good combo. A combo for stirring up evil.” A sharp stab of pain shot through my head. I sat up, then tilted my head back, halting the blood that was now pouring from my nose.

“Whoops.” echoed Alex. “My bad. So sorry, but here come some more!” My brain exploded into agony. It felt as though somepony took a wooden stake and stabbed it into my brain. Blood dripped out of my ears slowly.

“Alex!” I called with my mind. “Stop! Please!”

“I thought you were learning healing spells.” laughed Alex.

“Next week! Alex, please stop!”

“I want to say ‘no’ but I feel like that gives you hope. How about ‘no way in hell’?”

“Alex, this isn’t funny!” I thought, blood dripping from my eyes. “Conjure left already! If I need another transfusion, I am out of luck! Nopony else in the castle has O- blood! I’ll die!”

“Sorry, Alexandria, but I’m too busy not caring to help you. See you at lunch. Or at your funeral, depending on how this goes.”

I coughed and sputtered on my own blood, which was now steadily dripping out of my nose, ears, mouth and eyes, all of which hurt like the dickens. I rolled off of my bed and desperately began to crawl. A few feet from the door, I lost control of my hands and hooves. I laid there, blood leaking from every imaginable place on my body. I lifted my head, vision blurring, and I cast a spell. Grey light illuminated the room, surrounding me. Slowly, the bleeding halted and returned to my body, as if sucked up by a vacuum.

“Happy Birthday, Alex.” I said, as darkness overtook me.

The Return of the King of Shadows

Alex

I swiped down at the dummy’s arm, cleaving it off. I twirled around and sliced it in the gut, spilling stuffing onto the floor. With a small leap forward, I stabbed at where the heart would be, twisting my knife and yanking it out. I turned around to War and took a little bow.

“Well done, Alex.” he said, tossing me a ruby. I caught it and stuffed it in my mouth.

“I did good, didn’t I? Think I could beat you?” I said, smirking.

“No, you can’t. Never could, never will be able to.” he laughed. “But you are good. I’d like to make you a proposition.”

“What do you want?”

“How long have I been training you?” he asked.

“Three years. Why?”

“What have I been teaching you all this time?”

“How to fight, how to kill humanely, battle strategy, very vague first-aid, and survival skills.” I listed. “Why?”

“What do you think you could do with that?”

“I dunno, fight crime?” I said, confusedly. “Join the… oh!”

“There you are, girl.” he said.

“Are you offering me a position in the Royal Guard?” I asked.

“I know sixteen is pretty young, but you’re more than good enough. You’ll rise through the ranks quickly if you apply yourself.”

“I don’t know. Seems… troublesome.”

“Come on! Please? I’m really short-handed here, I need the help!”

“Dude! I’m yanking your chain!” I laughed. “Of course I’ll join. What the hell else am I going to do with my life?”

“Fantastic! I had a feeling you’d agree, so I brought you a little ‘welcome to the army’ present.” he said, pulling out a short, black knife, wickedly sharp, slightly curved and viscously serrated. He handed it to me, handle first, with a sheath shoved underneath.

“You know I hate saying ‘thank you’ but, this is pretty cool, so thanks, I guess.” I said accepting the knife.

“You are so tsundere!” he exclaimed with a smirk.

“Tsun-what?”

“Tsundere. It’s a japanese character development process in which- Basically, you’re a bitch on the outside, really sweet on the inside.”

“Funny, that sounds exactly like you.” I said, leaving the armory. “I’m gonna go put this away. We’ll talk later.” I ran upstairs to my bedroom and shoved my knife under my mattress. I sat down impatiently, waiting for Alexandria to walk in with her good/bad news.

“Hello, Alex!” she said, skipping into the room. “I passed!”

“What? You completed the spell?” I asked.

“Yup. I can now cast a perfect regeneration spell!”

“Alexandria!” yelled Conjure, running in behind her. “You didn’t let me tell you!”

“Oh, sorry. What is it you need?” she asked.

“Listen, I’ve been stalling Rarity for the past four years. She’s been trying to see you this entire time. I’ve been delaying it and I just can’t do it anymore. You two have to go see her.”

“Have fun.” I said.

“Come on! I promised her that I would bring her both of you! You trying to make me into a liar?”

“I don’t care. I’m not going to Ponyville to visit Rarity, somepony that I don’t give two bucks about.”

“I would love to go.” said Alexandria cheerily. “I haven’t seen my mother in ages.”

“Thank you, Alexandria. She wants to see you ASAP.”

“I’ll go get ready. I suggest you do the same, Conjure.” said Alexandria, rushing to the bathroom. Conjure teleported out, presumably to tell Rarity that she would be having company. That’s when I got to work. I pulled my pants down to my knees, untied Lord Sombra’s horn from around my neck and wrapped it around my left thigh. I replaced my pants and grabbed a bucket from under my bed. Leaning over it, I stuck my finger down my throat, causing me to retch uncontrollably into it. My vomit filled it up about halfway, filling the room with a horrible stench.

“This is going to hurt. Bad.” I coughed, grabbing the bucket. “All for the glory of Lord Sombra.” I clenched my teeth and turned the bucket over, spilling puke all over my leg.
TSSSSSSSSS!

“Ow! Owowowowowowowowowow!” I cried, tearing up from the pain. “Okay, okay. I have about 90 seconds before the acid eats away at my entire leg. All I have to do is get Alexandria. I can’t walk. I didn’t think this through.” What a pickle.

“Alex, dear, are you sure you don’t want to come? I’m sure they’ll give you some gems.” said Alexandria, walking in.

“Help me!” I cried, clenching my leg in pain. “I threw up on my leg and I have about 35 seconds before my leg is gone!”

“Oh, my! I’ll hit you with a regeneration spell.” she said, bathing her horn in a grey light. A thin beam flew from her horn, hitting my thigh. Instantly, the burning stopped.

“Did it work?” I asked.

“Yes. In a few minutes, your leg will be fine and dandy. Now, how did you manage to pull that off?”

“Oh, you know me, I can be pretty stupid.” I said panickedly. “Don’t you have to go somewhere? Is Conjure going to come pick you up?”

“Conjure is in the armory. I do not need an escort, I can teleport on my own. I’m leaving now.” she said, bathing herself in grey light. “Well, goodbye, and do try not to destroy your leg while I’m gone.”

“Oh yes, of course.” I said.
POP!

“Because I’ll be too busy destroying everypony else.” I said, pulling my pants back down. I yanked Lord Sombra’s horn, which was now glowing with a grey light. I put it down on the ground, then pulled my pants up. Didn’t want him to see me with my pants down. Suddenly, the horn began to shake and sputter. It rose through the air, hovering at about 7 feet. Black smoke poured from it, forming itself into a stallion-like figure. It solidified into a tall stallion with a dark grey coat, deep scarlet eyes, and sharp fangs. His body formed around the horn, becoming the unicorn, Lord Sombra.

“Hahaha!” he laughed. “Yes! I return!”

“Lord Sombra!” I cried. I got up and dropped down to one knee, bowing my head. “You’ve returned!”

“Yes I have, dear Alex! All thanks to you.” he growled, rubbing my head and ruffling my mane. “How long has it been?”

“About four years.”

“What?! What took you so long?!” he asked angrily. “Get up!”

“I’m sorry.” I said, standing up. “It took me almost a year to get your horn and three more to get the regeneration spell in place. Please, forgive me.”

“Don’t fret, Alex, dear.” he said, raising my head with his hand. He pulled out a thin needle and stuck it into my eye. A blood-curdling scream rang in my ears. It took me a minute to realise that it was me producing the noise.

“Why? Is this your will?” I said. “I’m sorry, Lord Sombra. Forgive me.” I grabbed my eye, halting the blood flowing from it.

“Relax. You’re fine. Remove your hand.” he said, yanking my hand away. My eye was perfectly normal, completely unharmed.

“What…?” I asked in confusion.

“Next time I give you an assignment, you are to complete it in a swift and diligent manner, or else I won’t remove the illusion.”

“Y-yes. Of course. I’m sorry.” I said. I hated his tone of disappointment.

“I’m sure you are. But, since I’m not sure I can trust you, I need you to prove yourself.”

“What do you wish for me to do?” I asked.

“Kill the two humans downstairs. They are no longer needed, and I don’t need them alive for my revenge. “

“Of course.” I said, grabbing my knife from under my mattress. “Can I ask what you plan to do? For your revenge, I mean.”

“All in due time. Let us go see these old friends of mine first, shall we?” he growled. We walked downstairs to the armory. I hid the knife behind my back and walked in front of Lord Sombra. I walked in the armory, where Conjure and War were sparring.

“What’s up, Alex?” said the General, not taking his eyes off of Conjure. “Here to join us?”

“If she won’t, I will.” said Lord Sombra, snapping his fingers. Black smoke appeared around Conjure and War’s arms and legs, restraining their movement completely. “What is up, indeed? It’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

“Don’t worry about her, you said. She’ll never succeed, you said. She wouldn’t hurt us, you said!” said Conjure angrily. “What happened to ‘Oh, I’ll deal with her. I’ll ask her to join the guard and she’ll forget all about Sombra’? It seems to me that you goofed, Robert!”

“Chill out.” said War. “So. What’s good, Sombra?”

“What’s good is taking my revenge for 18 years of agony. How’s Pinkie?”

“She’s doing well, thanks for asking. We have a kid now.”

“Lovely. Where might we find them?”

“Why would we tell you, Sombra?” said Conjure.

“Almost forgot about you, Conjure. How are you? Is Twilight here? I’d like a word with her.”

“You are not going to lay a finger on her! If you hurt Twilight, so help me, I’ll have you wishing Silver didn’t miss!”

“So angry. So, I’m guessing you won’t tell me? Very well. Alex. Prove yourself.” I walked forward, brandishing my knife. I went to the General first.

“Sup.” I said, tilting the blade slightly. I plunged it a few inches beneath his collar bone, right in his lung.

“Just like I taught you.” he gasped. “Stab in the lung and force it to collapse so your target can’t scream.” I ripped the knife out and made my way towards Conjure. I placed the razor-sharp blade against his neck and dragged slowly. I cut him all the way across his throat, blood gushing onto my chest. The only reason I didn’t lap it up was because I thought Lord Sombra would find it disturbing.

“Did I do good, my lord?” I asked, turning to face him.

“You did marvelous.” he said, Conjure in the background, gurgling on his own blood. “Where’s the rest of you?”

“In Ponyville, visiting Rarity. Is that where we’re going?”

“Yes. We have to capture the Elements of Harmony and Silver Rift, alive, so I can exact my revenge properly. We will have to kill the spare, however.”

“So, we’re killing two ponies with one stone?”

“I like the way you think.” he said. “Come on. We have work to do.”

Counter-Measures

Alexandria

“Conjure is in the armory. I do not need an escort, I can teleport on my own. I’m leaving now.” I said, surrounding myself in grey light. “Well, goodbye, and do try not to destroy your leg while I’m gone.”
POP!

I reappeared outside of Carousel Boutique, my old home, slightly dizzy and more than a little nauseous. I knocked on the door four times and waited.

“How did Alex pull that off?” I asked myself. “Probably wanted to see if I could back up my claims. What would have happened if I couldn’t? She’d be short one leg, that’s what.” Suddenly, the door flew open. Rarity looked at me with confusion.

“Hello, dear. You do know that this is a public business. don’t you? You don’t have to knock.” she said kindly. “If you would like to buy a dress, then please, come this way.”

“I didn’t come here to purchase anything.” I said, smiling. “It’s me, Mother! Alexandria!”

“What?!” she asked in outrage. “Alexandria?! How…? Come in!” She grabbed me by the wrist and dragged me in.

“Rarity! What’s all the fuss?” asked Spike, walking besides us into the depths of the boutique.

“Hello, Father.” I said, settling down by her sewing machines. “How are you two doing?”

“Rarity, why is this mare calling me her father?”

“This is Alexandria!” shouted Rarity with excitement.

“Hello.” I said happily.

“No way! What…? How is this… Where are your wings?!” he asked, turning me around over and over.

“I don’t have wings. Alex has the wings. I got the horn and, apparently, the heart.”

“Is this what Isaiah meant when he said that you were besides yourself?! Ooooo, I’m going to-”

“Rarity. Relax. It’ll be okay. Where’s… Alex?”

“She’s probably working out. I’m sorry to say that she did not want to come and see you. Don’t worry about her, she’ll come around eventually.”

“Okay. Can you explain exactly what happened, darling? I’m afraid that Conjure did not do a very good job.” said my mother.

“Well, when me and Alex were one in the same, we decided that we wanted to be normal. I wanted to be a unicorn, while Alex wanted to be a dragon. We split apart and got our wishes.”

“So Alex is completely dragon?”

“Well… sort of. She’s a dragon with pony-like characteristics. For example, she has fur instead of scales.”

“How did you manage to separate?” she asked.

“Promise me that you won’t get upset?”

“I promise.”

“King Sombra talked us into it. He said if we helped him, he’d help us.” I said.

“You talked to Sombra?! Why would you do that?! Didn’t we teach you about what Sombra is capable of?! Have you learned nothing from us and our struggle?!” she exclaimed in rage.

“You promised me that you wouldn’t be mad.” I said sadly. “You lied to me.”

“Damn right I’m angry! My daughter is literally split in half!”

“I’m sorry.” I said, tearing slightly.

“I bet that you are sorry! It’s been four years since I’ve seen my daughter and I only get half! I can’t believe you, Alexandria! I thought we taught you better!” she shouted.

“I’m sorry!” I cried, bursting into tears. “I’m so sorry Mother!”

“Rarity.” said my father. “Relax. She made a mistake, and she knows that. No need to grill her about it so hard.”

“There is so need to grill her! She could have died! We may never have our daughter back completely again! All because you were worried about being picked on? Or being cast out? I cannot believe that you could be so shallow!”

“You really can’t believe it?” asked my father. “She is your daughter.”

“Spike, I am in no mood! Ooh, this is all your fault!”

“My fault? How is this my fault?”

“You kept telling her to embrace her dragon side! If you would have just let me deal with it, she wouldn’t have wanted to become a dragon!” shouted Mother.

“Rarity! Calm down! You are getting really upset. Maybe we should go see Silver and Fluttershy. Get some soothing tea or something.”

“Sounds delightful. Room for two more?” asked Sombra, strutting into the boutique. He snapped his fingers, causing black smoke to appear around our arms and legs, and covering our horns. “Come on in, Alex.” My other half strolled in behind the dark unicorn, twirling a black knife, which was covered in blood.

“Who’s blood is on that knife?” I asked Alex.

“Conjure’s and the General’s.” she said with a smirk.

“You said that they’d be safe.” I said angrily.

“No, I said that Lord Sombra wouldn’t kill them. I killed them. Did somepony say ‘loophole’?”

“Ahem.” coughed my mother. “May I just ask what it is you want from us, Sombra?”

“I need you for my revenge. All of you, really. So, and hopefully I’ll have more luck when I ask you, where are the others? I know that you know. You know what? I’ll simplify- Where is Silver Rift? Just tell me where to find him, and I’ll let you go.”

“Really?” asked Father

“Spike!” shouted Mother. Into the boutique walked a jet-black pegasus with a bright white mane and steel-grey eyes. He entered with his head down, staring at a cell phone.

“Ugh! Rarity, my mom is still bitching about dinner last week. Can you please talk to her? Maybe design her a new dress or something?” he said, looking up slowly. He looked to Mother, then to Father, to me and Alex and finally resting his eyes on Sombra. “Son of a bitch.”

“We were just talking about you, Silver.” said Sombra, restraining his arms and legs. Silver floated over beside me. “Alright! Let’s see: Rarity, Spike, Silver Rift. Now I need Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy.”

“Nopony thought to warn me that our strongest enemy is alive and well, in the house of one of my best friends?” said Silver. “How is he even here?”

“One thing at a time. I’ll fill you in on the story as soon as I have everything I need.” said Sombra, approaching Silver. “Where’s Fluttershy?”

“Hell if I know. She’s a grown mare, I don’t tell her what to do.” said Silver smugly. “And even if I did know where she was, I’d never tell you.”

“Is that so? Nothing will persuade you?”

“I will fight to my dying breath if that’s what it takes to keep Fluttershy away from here.” said Silver determinedly.

“Damn it, Silver, I told you to stop being such a bitch and just talk to your mom!” said a yellow pegasus who walked in the boutique just as Silver finished his sentence. She looked to my mother, to my father, to Alex and me, to Silver and finally stopping her eyes on Sombra. “Son of a bitch.” Sombra grabbed her by her pink mane and dragged her over to the rest of his prisoners. Another snap of Sombra’s fingers confined Fluttershy.

“Goddamnit, woman!” shouted Silver. “I just finished saying how I was going to keep you away from here!”

“Oh. Whoops!” said Fluttershy sheepishly.

“At this point, perhaps I should just wait here for the rest of you to run into the restraints!” laughed Sombra. “Do you think it’ll be this easy to grab the others?”

“Fluttershy, please tell me the others are somewhere far away.” said Silver Rift. “You didn’t invite RD or Pinkie to come with you, did you?”

“No, I did not, but that doesn’t mean they’re safe.” said Fluttershy. “I doubt that we’d all get captured like this. Which reminds me, what the hell Chris? How did you let yourself get captured like that?”

“The same way you did, love.” he said patiently. “And the same way I assume Rarity, Spike and… who may you be?”

“I am Alexandria.” I said, speaking for the first time in a long while.

“No you’re not.” he said.

“Silver, I’m afraid now is not the time.” said Mother. “We will discuss this later.”

“King Sombra?” I asked. “What do you ask from us? Tell us how we can help you and we will do our best.”

“How can you help me? By telling me where to find the rest of Silver Rift’s wretched friends!” shouted Sombra angrily. “Alex! We don’t have time for this! I’m taking them. You deal with the other half.”

“Can I kill her?” she asked evilly.

“You may but it is not necessary. Do what you will with her.” said Sombra. His horn began to glow red and a bottle appeared with a jet-black liquid inside. He handed it to Alex. “When you’re ready, drink this. It’ll bring you to me.”

“Yes. Is there anything else that you wish of me after I’m done?”

“Nope.” said Sombra, dragging all of his captives towards him. “Just get to me as soon as possible.”
POP!

Only Alex and I remained in the shop. The smoke around my arms and legs disappeared, allowing me to move freely once more.

“Hey, Alexandria.” said Alex, approaching me. She reared her fist back and punched me in the face with all of her might. I felt my nose drip blood slightly. “You got me tortured slightly! Not that I’m upset. If that’s what Lord Sombra wants, then by all means, torture me until I beg for death, but damn, it hurt!”

“How did I get you in trouble?” I asked confusedly.

“You took so freaking long to learn regeneration! If you would’ve been better, Lord Sombra wouldn’t have been upset with me!”

“I highly doubt that it’s my fault. If he was willing enough to torture you, I don’t think he needs a legitimate reason.”

“He didn’t want to! He had no choice!” exclaimed Alex. “I had to be punished.”

“I don’t know how that works, but I’ll take your word for it. Come on, Alex, we have to go rescue Mother and Father!”

“No, we don’t. You have to run away, and never look back, pray that Lord Sombra forgets about you.” she said. She opened her bottle and brought it to her lips. “He said I didn’t have to kill you today. He might not be so kind next time.”

“You’re not going to help me?” I asked, fear building in my voice. “You can’t expect me to do this alone!”

“I don’t. I expect you to not do it. Like I said, I’m not killing you now, so you better get somewhere safe. Let this be our last time talking, Alexandria. For your own safety.” she said, taking a swig from the bottle. She exploded into a puff of black smoke, leaving me alone in the shop. Right then, I began to cry uncontrollably. My only friends were either dead or planning to kill me.

“Sorry, Alex.” I said to myself. “I have to fight back.”

Negotiotiations

Alex

I drank from the bottle and felt my body burst into smoke. My vision was obscured by black, which slowly faded. I blinked hard a few times, looking around at my destination. I was back at the Crystal Empire, in the throne room. Next to me, on the throne as he should be, was Lord Sombra. In front of us was all of his previous prisoners, with the addition of Pinkie Pie, Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow Dash, all confined by his black smoke. It seemed Lord Sombra expected a fight, because those with horns had them severed, and those with wings had at least one hanging limp, broken.

“Now that Alex is here, we can begin.” said Lord Sombra. “Here’s the deal: Silver Rift and Fluttershy will pair up, as will Rainbow and Applejack, Rarity and Spike, and Twilight and Pinkie. The pairs will fight to the death. As I’m sure you’ve noticed, almost all of the pairs are spouses. I planned to have Pinkie with War and Twilight with Conjure, but I had forgotten myself when I had them killed.”

“Hahahaha!” laughed Pinkie. “That’s a good one, Sombra!”

“I don’t see the joke.” said Lord Sombra confusedly. He was not the only one who was lost.

“You said that War and Conjure are dead!” giggled Pinkie. “That’s hilarious.”

“They are.”

“You’re serious?” asked Pinkie seriously. Then she burst into laughter even louder. “HAHAHA! You think… you think… that’s so funny!”

“Please, explain the joke that I do not recall telling.” said Lord Sombra impatiently.

“They’re not dead, you silly filly.”

“Yes they are. Alex killed them. Right?” he said, turning to face me.

“I slit Conjure’s throat and War’s lungs were filled with blood within 30 seconds. There is no way they could have survived.” I reported.

“See? They’re dead, my dear.”

“No they’re not.” said Pinkie Pie with a smile. “I’d know if they were.”

“It doesn’t matter what you think, they’re dead and you’ll join them if you don’t begin to fight one another.”

“I think your age is finally catching up to you, Sombra, because that doesn’t make any sense.” said Silver Rift. “Why would we fight each other?”

“Because if you don’t, I’ll kill you?” tried Lord Sombra.

“Since when was that a threat to us?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Our love for each other is stronger than you.”

“Awww!” sighed Applejack. “That was so sweet, Dashie.”

“Don’t expect me to be sappy like this all the time, babe, I’m just proving a point.”

“Fair enough.” said Lord Sombra. “If you won’t fight to save yourselves, maybe you’ll fight to save your kids.”

“What?!” shouted Twilight.

“Deathmatch between the pairs. Fight or I go after your children. Pinkie and Twilight, the loser of your fight loses their kids.” said Lord Sombra wickedly.

“Brilliant!” I exclaimed. “They have to fight!”

“Twilight.” said Pinkie Pie solemnly, a very different tone than earlier. “I have to. I have to at least try.”

“I know, Pinkie. You know I’ll have to try as well.” said Twilight.

“Fluttershy.” said Silver Rift. “I know that you’re going to object, but you have to win.”

“No way in hell. You win.” said Fluttershy. “If I win, I’ll never forgive myself.”

“I don’t want to live without you.” said Silver. “You have to kill me.”

“I really don’t care who kills whom, so long as half of you are dead.” said Lord Sombra, snapping his fingers. The smoke restraints disappeared from the prisoners. The couples rushed over to each other and hugged tightly. “Let the games begin! Hopefully the odds will be in your favor! Why does that phrase make me hungry?”

“Hungry for my knife in your face!” said Rainbow Dash.

“How dare you threaten him?!” I shouted in rage. “Here he is, giving some of you a chance to live and this is how you repay him? Empty threats? I hope Applejack wins.”

“Who the hell are you?” asked Rainbow Dash. “I don’t recall anypony asking you to open your mouth. Why does Sombra keep you around? Sex? I bet it’s sex.”

“Rainbow Dash! That is my daughter!” exclaimed Rarity.

“Is it? Whoops.”

“Wait just a minute.” said Applejack. “Why in tarnation are we still here? Can’t Silver just open a Rift?”

“I’ve been trying. He’s blocking it somehow.” said Silver Rift. “Even if I could, I wouldn’t. Not with what’s on the line.”

“Speaking of which, I don’t see any fighting.” said Lord Sombra, rising to his hooves. “I think you might need a little push. Who do I take first? Scootaloo? The new Regal Sisters? How about your kids, Silver? Should I pay them a visit?”

“Sombra, I’ve never been a man to make threats, but I cannot tell you how bad of an idea it would be to even consider going after Marceline and Spencer. Consider this: Before we were even dating, Fluttershy broke my wing because I accidently disappeared her for a few years. What do you think she’ll do to you if you kill her children?”

“He’s right. I’ve always an angry side, but if you touch my babies? Ho ho, you’re gonna be wishing Silver killed you earlier.” said Fluttershy.

“Sure you want to risk it?” said Lord Sombra. “And that line about me wishing Silver killed me before is getting tiresome to the ear.”

“Lord Sombra, I think they might be stalling until they can come up with a plan.” I said.

“My, oh my, you’re right!” said Lord Sombra. “I’m going to count to ten. If I reach ten and you are not fighting, I’m grabbing all of your children and bringing them here. Then, I’ll slit their throats and make you watch! Ten! Nine! Eight! Seven!”

“Fine!” shouted Silver, tears rolling down his face. “We’ll play your sick game!” He looked Fluttershy in the eye and punched her in the jaw, throwing her back a short distance.

“You have one hell of a hook, babe.” said Fluttershy, punching him in the stomach.

“I’m sorry, Aj.” said Rainbow, kicking Applejack in the ribs.

“Don’t be RD. Remember: for Scootaloo.” answered Applejack, punching Rainbow in the throat.

“Twilight, please forgive me!” said Pinkie Pie, shoving Twilight to the ground. “I can’t let him hurt Storm!”

“I know and I understand. I hope you understand that I have to protect Luna and Celestia.” said Twilight, dodging Pinkie’s fist. She shoved Pinkie onto her back and stomped her nose, causing it spurt blood.

“Why would we fight?” asked Rarity. “Would you really kill Alex?”

“If that’s what it takes.” said Lord Sombra, grabbing my knife from me. He pressed the blade against my throat.

“Do you really want my death on your conscious, Rarity? Some mother you are.” I said. “Go ahead, Lord Sombra. If you must.”

“Stop!” Into the throne room walked Alexandria, swinging a box, small enough to fit in her palm. “Sombra! Let them go!”

“She lives?” asked Lord Sombra. “Fair enough, I did give you permission to spare her.”

“Sombra! Let them go!” she repeated. “Let them go, and run away. We won’t pursue you.”

“Really?” said Lord Sombra. “Do you really think that you could intimidate me? What are you going to do?”

“Detonate the bombs I planted around the castle, killing us all.” she said, raising the box. Upon further investigation, I could see that there was a little switch on it. A detonator. “Let’s negotiate, shall we?”

Alexandria

I held the “detonator’” up for everypony to see. Waving it around, I looked at Alex, expecting her to rush at me and swipe it. Apparently she was too concerned for Sombra. Go figure.

“My rules: No scanning, no attacks, no magic of any kind from anypony. Stay where you are and keep your hands to yourself. Don’t even think about killing me. I have a contingency.” I said, lowering the “detonator”. “I linked the bombs to my Shine. If I die, the bombs go off. I also have micro-explosives in the air that all of you in this room has just breathed in. A press of a button and every cell in each of our bodies explodes.”

“You don’t have the guts.” said Alex, stepping forward. I quickly brought the box up, brandishing it around.

“Don’t have the guts? What do I have to lose?” I asked. “You killed Conjure, you captured my mother, and if my parents don’t kill each other, you’re going to kill me. If I’m going to die, I might as well do something good.”

“What do you want?” asked Sombra.

“Let them go. Then run. Run away and never come back. Let my friends go and fade from our memory. Go on! Leave!”

“You don’t scare me.” said Sombra.

“Why not?”

“You’re weak, you’re desperate, and you’re too good of a pony.”

“Correct.” I said, raising the box even higher. “Scared and pathetic and backed against the wall, holding something that could kill us all. Isn’t it a terrifying prospect?”

“Lord Sombra? I think she might do it.” said Alex.

“What makes you think so?” he asked curiously.

“I can feel it. Our emotions are still slightly linked and I can feel her determination.”

“If you’re still linked, just attack her mind. Or influence her to stand down.”

“I… can’t. She’s blocking me out.” she said, squinting her eyes in concentration. “I can’t look into her head like I normally can.”

“Then how are you able to read her emotions?”

“She’s letting me. Or rather, she’s not trying to block that.” she said, opening her eyes. “If she’s doing it intentionally, she’s letting us know that she means business.” I loosened my grip on the box slightly, relieved that this was actually working. In the blink of an eye, Sombra had his hand on the box. He ripped it from my hands and crushed it, reducing it to a pile of rubbish. In a flash, he was over by his prisoners. A snap of the fingers bound them together, each attached to one another by a wisp of black smoke.

“Well, that resolves one problem.” said Sombra, grabbing his captives. “And I’m about to resolve the other, with your help of course, Alex.”

“What do you need?” she asked.

“Take this.” he said, creating another bottle, this one filled with red liquid. He handed it to Alex.“When this turns black, kill her. Drink it and we’ll try this again. Assuming, of course, you survive the micro-explosives thing.”

“With pleasure.” she said, bowing her head.

“You are oh so very helpful, Alex! I made a good choice by creating you.” said Sombra, disappearing into smoke., leaving me alone with Alex.

“Our final meeting.” she said, sinisterly. “Today is the day you die, Alexandria.”

“You don’t think I have a contingency?” I said, stepping forward. “Do you really think that I’d put the fate of my mother and friends in the hands of a couple bricks of C4? I didn’t. If you were to look, you’d find I was bluffing. Not a single explosive in the entire castle.”

“Even your contingency has a contingency.” said Alex, walking to meet me. She grabbed me by my shirt. “Wasn’t your back up plan the bombs?”

“Like I said, no bombs here.” I said. “I was hoping Sombra would let them go, but it seems I need to use my ace in the hole.”

“What might that be?” she asked, pulling her knife to my throat.

“This.” I said, closing my eyes. My horn began to glow, surrounding us both in grey light. The light grew more and more intense until neither of us could see each other. Tendrils of light wrapped around us both, binding us together. The light swirled around us, pushing us together. We smashed into each other, skin melting into each other. Slowly my mind faded into Alex’s, our thoughts and memories combining.

“What are you doing?!” she screamed in my mind. Our mind.

“Bringing us back together.” I said. “It’s about time we had some quality time together.”

“No! Nonononononono! Damn it, Alexandria!” she shouted. “I’m going to kill you!”

“Suicide is never the answer.” I said sarcastically. I began to lose perception of what was what, who was who. Alex and Alexandria slowly disappeared from my mind. An outward flash of light dispelled the aura that was previously surrounding them. I stretched out my wings and rubbed my horn tenderly.

“It’s good to be back.” I said, running my left claw through my mane. “Alex? Alexandria? Why can’t we have both? Let’s suit up.”

Alex(andria) the Great

Alex(andria)

I ran downstairs to the armory. I kicked in the door and stepped in, shocked and disgusted by the two fallen bodies of Conjure and War. I made my way to them and dropped to my knees, filled with sadness and rage.

“I’m sorry.” I whispered to them. “I’m sorry you had to die. You didn’t even die a dignified, warrior’s death. You fell dead onto your faces. Please forgive me.”

“Did you hear that?” somepony asked. “Is that Alexandria?”

“I think so. Alexandria! Is that you?” asked somepony else.

“Not exactly.” I asked, rising to my hooves. Where were they? They sounded almost like…

“Shit! It’s Alex!” said the first voice. “We should have figured out first! Now she’s gonna finish us off.”

“No, not quite.” I said. “Who and where are you?”

“Down here. The corpses on the floor.” said the second voice. I looked down to my teachers bodies. I knelt back down and pushed them over onto their backs. Their eyes were wide open, unblinking, but their mouths were moving.

“You’re alive!” I shouted. I jumped high in the sky, flapping my wings. I flew forward and did a little loop-de-loop. “I can’t believe it! I thought she… er… I killed you guys!”

“Alex!” shouted Conjure.

“Alexandria!” yelled War.

“The original and best, baby!” I exclaimed with joy. “How did you survive?!”

“Remember Vitality?” asked War. “I finally put it to good use.”

“Fabulous!” I shouted, doing another loop. “You can help me! I don’t have much time before the souls destabilize. Sombra has your friends and your wives. He intends on making them fight each other, or he’ll go after your kids! Get up off the floor and help me!”

“That’s terrible!” said War. “I swear to God, if he touches Storm, I’ll rip him apart!”

“Well, come help me rip him apart!” I said, grabbing him by the arm. I heaved him up, and fell to the ground under his weight. “Get up, big guy!”

“Er… I can’t.” he said embarrassedly. “Neither of us will be able to move for over a week.”

“Why not?”

“Vitality has a side effect, remember? If I use it too much, I’ll scar my nerves and paralyze myself.”

“To say that he used it too much would be a sufficient statement.” said Conjure sarcastically.

“Hey, hey! I didn’t hear you complaining when I was un-slitting your throat!” he said angrily.

“Yo!” I shouted. “Stop arguing! Are you saying that neither of you can help me?”

“You don’t need our help.” said War. “You got this.”

“No, I do not!” I said angrily. “Typical of you, General! Just throw me into things! I should have finished you off before Lord Sombra left!”

“What?!”

“Huh?” I said, confusedly. I shook my head hard. “Sorry, I didn’t mean that. I’m having trouble keeping Alex suppressed. I’ll try to keep her in check. What were you saying? About me having this? I don’t understand.”

“Remember what I taught you?” asked War. I laid the bottle down, walked over to the nearest dummy and pulled it over, placing it in their sight. I swung the knife four times, slashing it in the chest and cleaving an arm clean off.

“And do you remember what I taught you?” asked Conjure. I snapped my fingers and sat down in the wooden chair that appeared beneath my butt.

“Where do these even come from?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“I like to think that there’s just some family out there, about to sit down for supper, who just keep falling on their asses because I steal their chairs!” laughed Conjure. “In all seriousness, do you know what to do?”

“Not really, no.” I said.

“Take a page out of Chrysalis’ book.” said War. “Normal attacks don’t touch Sombra, unless he’s not expecting it. The only way to attack him unnoticed would be to wait until he’s in mid-kill, or monologuing with somepony about his own greatness. So, what do you do?”

“I’ll give you a hint: You are an expert on ripping the goddamn thing in half!” said Conjure, feigning anger.

“The soul?” I asked. “What does the soul have to do with anything? Wait, wait a minute. What did Chrysalis do again? Soul binding handcuffs? Bind his soul! Leaves him vulnerable!”

“There you go!” said War. “What are you going to do now?”

“Read a book!” I said, running out. I ran upstairs to my book of magic. I hurried back down to Conjure and War, dropped down to the ground and ripped it open.

“Jesus Christ, Isaiah, is this Alexandria or Twilight Sparkle?” asked Conjure. “Isn’t that you’re guys’ solution to everything? Bury your nose in a book?”

“Can I teach em or what?” laughed Conjure.

“Here you go!” I said, stopping on the page. I used Alex’s knife to carve a circle into the ground. I sliced a triangle inside, and three circles inside of that. In each circle I carved the symbols Ρεβυιλδ, Ενηανξε, Ενφορξε. Rebuild, Enhance, Enforce. I stabbed myself in the left hand, allowing blood to leak onto the circle. Ripping out the blade, I placed the knife in the middle of the circle. I placed my hands on top of each other and concentrated. The circle began to glow black and the knife was engulfed in white flames. I removed my hands and gripped the wounded one tightly to stop the bleeding.

“Alex, you just stabbed yourself in the hand.” pointed out War.

“Really? I hadn’t noticed.” I said sarcastically. I used my magic to heal my hand, a simple task, then I levitated Conjure and War so that they were leaning against the wall. I figured they’d be more comfortable that way. “Exactly how long will you be like this?”

“Remember when you ripped a chunk out of my arm? Well, healing that left me unable to move my right arm for an hour. What I had to do today was replace a lung and repair several arteries, including the Jugular vein. Don’t expect us to be moving for… I’d say 12 days.” said War, thinking it over.

“What exactly are you doing, Alex?” asked Conjure. “Wait, should I call you Alex or Alexandria? Or both? Or neither?”

“Either or is fine.” I said. “What I’m doing is enchanting the knife.”

“Enchanting it with what?”

“A soul binding charm. I know that it’s a relatively simple spell that doesn’t require blood, but I figured that it should be as strong as possible.” I said. “It should be ready soon.”

“Okay, but explain to me how you two recombined. I know Alex didn’t agree, not with Sombra back in the picture.”

“Alexandria is really, really, oh did I say really yet? I mean, really good.” I said. “For all intents and purposes, she sewed them together! Isn’t it brilliant?”

“How does that work?” asked Conjure. “That’s what I tried to do the day you split, but all I did was end up separating you more.”

“Alexandria was able to stitch it from the inside out. She has great attention to detail, so she was able to replicate the unique balance of my soul. To a degree. I don’t have much time before I rip back into Alex and Alexandria.”

“Are you okay with that?” asked Conjure. He always knew how to confuse me. Was that what I wanted?

“No matter what, we’ll love and accept you, Alexandria.” said War. “Alexandria!”

“The Great!” finished Conjure.

“That’s just a nickname my dad gave me.” I said. “I’m not all that special.”

“You’re half dragon, half pony. I don’t know if you noticed, but that has never happened before. You’re unique. If anything, ‘The Great’ is an underwhelming title.”

“Do you really think I’m great?” I asked. “Can I really kill Sombra?”

“Listen, Alex.” said Conjure. “I know you can. The question is, will you? Twilight is going to tell you not to but Silver will tell you to do it. Or maybe it will be vice-versa. I can never tell with those two. Do what feels right in your heart. Whether you kill him or spare him will not say anything about you as a person. But no matter what happens, you have to win. Please. Save my kids.”

“Nah, I was gonna let an evil, crazy tyrant king murder your children, the princesses of Equestria,” I said, rolling my eyes. “That was my plan all along.”
POOF!

The fire that was engulfing my knife puffed into smoke, revealing my weapon. It was more or less the same, except now the blade was a shining white, and it was emitting a soft haze. I rushed over and grabbed it, careful as to not prick my finger. I sheathed it and strapped it to my hip.

“I’m going to need more than this.” I said. “What other weapons should I grab?”

“You can use my shotgun.” said War.

“I’ll grab it. My magic is starting to return.” said Conjure. His horn began to glow. “Here, take Kate and Anna.”

“Kate and Anna?” I asked confusedly. In answer, he levitated two long katanas and a shotgun into my hands.

“My swords. Get it? They’re katanas. Katana. Kate and Anna. Katana.” said Conjure. “Oh, forget it.”

“Thank you.” I said, grabbing them. I threw them over my shoulder and put the shotgun on my other hip. “I’ll put these to good use.”

“Take care of those. Those are our personal weapons. Lot of sentimental value in those things.”

“Will do. Now that everything is in order, I just need to find them.” I said. “How do I- the bottle!” I grabbed the bottle, the liquid inside now black.

“Wait!” said War. “Don’t leave yet!”

“What is it?” I asked.

“I’m hungry.”

“Really?” I said. “Are you serious?”

“Hey, I fed you when you were hungry.”

“Fine!” I said. I snapped my fingers, and dark green light popped next to my teachers. A plated grilled cheese sandwich appeared next to each of them.

“Thank you, Alex.” said Conjure, in a sing-songy voice.

“Yeah, yeah, is there anything else?” I asked impatiently. “I have to get busy if I want to bail you idiots out of this mess. You know, none of this would have happened if you just knelt before Lord Sombra all those years ago.”

“Alex? Focus.” said War.

“Sorry.” I said, shaking my head. I closed my eyes and cast an invisibility spell on myself. “Now you see me, now you don’t. See you guys later.”

“Good luck.” said Conjure. “I don’t think I have to stress how important this is.”

“I know. I swear, everypony will be fine.” I said, uncorking the bottle. I tipped it into my mouth, drinking the weird potion. It tasted of smoke and… sin. I don’t know how to describe it. All I can say is that it tasted of evil. Black smoke enveloped me, and when it dissipated, I was no longer in the armory. I was in a throne room, with Sombra sitting at it. Princess Twilight’s throne. Next to him, in shadow constraints, where my mother, my father, a pale yellow unicorn mare, a dark blue unicorn mare, and three black pegasi, two mares, one stallion. On the floor in front of them was Princess Twilight, Silver Rift, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and knocked to the ground, Pinkie Pie, her face bruised and bloody.

“Finish her off, Twilight.” said Sombra. “Finish her!”

“I… can’t! I won’t! Pinkie Pie is my friend!” said the princess, dropping to her knees. Her eyes were steadily pouring tears. “I can’t kill her!”

“Hm. Shame.” said Sombra, pulling the dark unicorn closer to him. “I was hoping the legacy of the Regal Sisters would live on in them, but apparently not.” He pulled a small knife from off of his hip and dragged it against her left side. She howled in pain, struggling to break free from her captor.

“Let her go!” shouted the princess. “Leave Luna alone!”

“In that case, I’ll work on Celestia.” he said, dragging the other unicorn over to him. “What do you have to say to your mom, Tia? She’s condemning you to death here.”

“What do I have to say?” asked Celestia. “Nothing, really. I’m just waiting for her to get to you, so I can watch her smash your face in!”

“Loud, this one is.” said Sombra, slicing Celestia down the stomach. He never cut too deep, just enough to cause her to scream in agony. “The old Celestia always knew when to keep her mouth shut. You know what else I liked about her? She knew when it was hopeless, when it was time to give up, when it was time to die!”

“NO!” shouted the princess. She grabbed Pinkie off of the ground and punched her in the face. “Is this what you want?! You want to make me a monster, like you, huh?!”

“Leave Twilight alone!” shouted Dad. “Don’t make her do this!”

“Spike, right?” asked Sombra, pulling him forward. He turned him to face Mom. “You should learn to keep your mouth shut.” He stabbed him in the midsection, wedging the knife in between his ribs. Dad groaned in pain and coughed, splattering Mom with blood.

“You see, Sombra, before you stab somepony’s dad, you should check to see if their kid is in attendance.” I said, removing the invisibility charm. My mane frizzed and my fangs elongated. For once, I didn’t try to stop it. “You see, I don’t appreciate ponies who hurt my friends and family.”

“Hmm. It seems we have an intruder.” said Sombra.

“Intruder? How’d she get in? In-tru-der window?” I said sarcastically.

“Who are you?” asked Sombra.

“Alexandria the Great. At your service.” I said, taking a bow. “And I know who you are, of course. Hello, Sombra. I’m going to have to ask you to let my friends and family go.”

“Where’s Alex?”

“Right here.” I said, pulling out my white knife. “Let’s chat, lord and master.”

Parting of Ways

Alex(andria)

“What is this madness?” asked Sombra, semi-amused. “What exactly have you come here to do?”

“I came here to free my family.” I said, stepping forward. “I don’t appreciate you stabbing my dad and making Mom watch. I assume you did the same, vice-versa, which also pisses me off. So what say you let them go, you walk away, and I don’t feast on your spleen?”

“You are in no real position to make threats.” said Sombra. He ripped the knife from Dad’s stomach, then stuck it in Mom’s shoulder, causing her to spray blood out of her mouth. “I’m pretty much running this. You can’t really stop me.” I made my way until I was about a yard away from the throne. I poked my finger at him, my finger colliding with a wall of blood-red energy.

“Nice little magic barrier you got there. What is it? Quantum-static particle field? Unbreakable, right?” I said. I reared my fist back and punched it with all my might, shattering it into shards of energy. “Not quite so unbreakable, now is it?”

“Alex, how did you return to normal?” said Dad. “Doesn’t matter, just run! Get out of here, before he hurts you!”

“Luna, Celestia, are you okay?” I asked, ignoring my father. “Did he hurt you bad?”

“We’ll survive.” said Luna. “Who exactly are you again?”

“I’m Alex. We’ve met before, a few times, remember? We’ll have to have a chat over some lunch after this is all said and done.” I said. “These pegasi. Storm, Spencer, and Marceline, right?”

“Yes.” said one of the fillies. “I’m Storm. Is Sombra telling the truth? Is my dad… dead?”

“No. Neither is your dad, Luna, Celestia. They’re fine. They won’t be moving for a while, but I’ll deal with that when Sombra is taken care of.”

“Am I missing something here?” asked Silver.

“Has he been making you two fight a lot?” I asked him.

“A bit, yeah. Fluttershy kicked my ass, same as always. Dislocated my shoulder.” he said, showing me his left arm, which was hanging out of the socket. “Thanks for that, babe.”

“Nopony likes sarcasm, honey.” said Fluttershy.

“Ahem.” coughed Sombra. He ripped the knife out of Mom’s shoulder, dragged Spencer over to him, and buried the blade in his left knee. Silver’s screamed louder than Spencer.

“Sombra!” bellowed Silver. “I swear to God, I’m going to destroy you!”

“No you won’t.” said Fluttershy. “There’ll be nothing left to destroy! Not after I get my hands on him! Babe, I know I promised you that you’d never see her again, but I think Commandoshy is coming out to play!”

“Sombra, you’ve made a huge mistake.” I said, drawing attention back to myself. “If you were smart, you would’ve killed Alex the moment she revived you. You see, I am Alex. And Alexandria. I have the strength, the intelligence, the skill, the hardware, the moves and the mojo. Quick quiz for you Sombra: What happens when Alex gets angry?”

“How should I know?” asked Sombra.

“She gets strong. Really, unbelievably, unfathomably, holy-shit-get-away-from-me-you-psycho-horse strong. And guess what? You just pissed me off.” I said, stepping forward. “Which is something I normally can’t control, but now, I have the intellect of Alexandria. I know how to bottle my anger and funnel it, control how and where it flows. It allows me to do some interesting things. Such as this.” I threw the knife hard, flying through the air towards Sombra. I could hear his laugh of confidence morph into a pitiful squeal of pain as the blade impaled his stomach, sending him flying into the wall, knife pinning him there. He coughed twice, spewing blood onto his chest.

“How…?” he asked, grabbing at his wound.

“Don’t bother trying to take it out. It’s a soul-binding knife. So long as that knife is pinned in the wall, so will you.” I said, unsheathing Kate and Anna. I pressed the tips of each blade against his throat, hesitating slightly for the first time.

“Go ahead.” whispered Sombra. “Kill me. Murder me in cold-blood, just like I would so quickly do to you. Become a monster. I know you have it in you, Alex.”

“Princess.” I said, not taking my eyes off of Sombra. “What do I do?”

“Kill him.” said Princess Twilight. “Now!”

“Silver?” I asked. “I always like a second opinion.”

“End him.” said Silver.

“No!” shouted Luna. “Don’t kill him!”

“I’m hearing two votes for ‘kill’, one vote for ‘spare’. Anypony else want to give their opinion?” I asked, pressing the sword against his Adam’s Apple.

“Don’t kill him.” answered Celestia.

“He lives.” said Storm.

“You can’t kill him.” said Spencer.

“He deserves a second chance.” whispered Marceline

“That’s six for Sombra, two against.” I said. “What can I say? I don’t want to kill him either. But since I suppose that the rest of you are also going to suggest that I kill him, we lost the vote. Sorry, Sombra, but majority rules. Any last words?”

“Nice try.” growled Sombra, yanking the knife out of his gut. He burst into smoke and flew threw my body, re-forming behind me. “Ah! By the divines, that hurt! Let’s never do that again!”

“You can’t.” I said whipping around. “That soul-binding hex was perfect. There’s no way you should have been able to break it, but since you did, I know it must have seriously damaged your soul. Sort of like how you ripped my soul, except I shredded your’s. No more smoke for you.”

“Excellent work, Alex!” called Silver. “Toss me a sword!”

“No. All of you, stay out of this.” I said, throwing my arms up. I created a magic force-field to surround us both, not unlike Sombra;s, except mine actually was unbreakable. The only way to get out would be if I died here. Pretty good chance. “I started this, and I will end this.”

“I love your outlook, Alex.” said Sombra, shrouding his horn in red light. A black longsword materialized in his right hand. “It’s adorable how you think everything will work out all peachy, when you’re staring death in the face!”

“I think that it’s you who’s staring at death. I have far too much at risk to die here tonight.” I said. “I promised my friends that I would get everypony out alive. I’m not one to go against my word.”

“We’ll see.” he said, slashing downward with his sword. I blocked it with the sword in my left hand (I think that one was Kate.) and swung with the one in my right, hacking him in the leg. He kicked at it hard, sending the sword out of his leg and out of my grasp. Guess I was using one sword, then. I shoved his sword off of me, then jabbed at his gut. He dodged it almost lazily, then sliced at my head. I ducked it barely, the blade slicing the top of my mane off, shaving it a few inches.

“My mane!” I shouted in rage. I kicked his ankle out, causing him to fall on his back. I stomped my hoof hard on his right shin, a sinister SNAP! telling me that I had hit home. “Do you know how long it took me to get my mane that fabulous?!” I guess Alexandria took a little too much control there.

“That’s my girl.” said Mom weakly.

“Oh, come on now!” shouted Sombra in frustration, deflecting my furious swipes. “Are you really getting your righteous anger adrenaline rush from me cutting your mane? How cartoony can you get?”

“Shut up and die!” I shouted, stabbing at his knee and shattering the bone. I slashed at his chest, cutting him twice, twirled around and sliced horizontally at his face. He blocked my sword and shoved at it. I tilted the long, thin blade of the sword towards my body, hooking Sombra’s sword, and swung it behind me, both blades clattering to the ground.

“No weapons for us, eh?” said Sombra, rising to his hooves. Perhaps I should say he tried to rise to his hooves, because he never really got up. It’s kind of hard to stand with a broken leg and a knee that’s been reduced to mulch. I ripped War’s shotgun off of my hip and slapped Sombra in the face with it. I cocked it and placed the barrel against his stomach.

“Nothing but dreams.” I said, pulling the trigger.
BOOM!

His gut exploded into a mess of bloody chunks, splattering my face. I controlled my hunger and wiped his blood from my face. He had a crater in his midsection from his stomach up to his neck. I could see his lungs inflating and his heart beating, somehow still alive.

“No!” he bellowed, crawling backwards away from me. “I refuse to die here!”

“You’re still going, huh?” I said, placing the barrel against his head. “A skull full of buckshot should fix that.”
CLICK!

“I completely forgot to grab ammo.” I said to myself. “It’s always something.”

“I’m the King of Darkness!” yelled Sombra. “You cannot kill me!”

“Yeah, I can.” I said, turning to grab Kate. I picked it up and spun around, thinking Sombra would be up to take advantage of me turning my back. To my surprise, he stood where he was. I pointed the tip of the blade at his heart. I looked him in the eyes, his hatred and rage burning into my soul, and stabbed him. More blood spurted from his chest cavity, covering me and the sword. It was getting really hard to resist the temptation of so much raw meat.

“Finally.” I said, turning around. I lowered the field and stepped towards my mother. I felt something hot whizz by my left ear. I spun around and blasted Sombra’s fallen body with a stunning spell.

“I will not die!” he growled.

“I’ll say. You’re like some sort of cockroach!” I shouted angrily. I turned my attention towards the princess. I snapped my fingers, dark green light enveloping my horn. A faint green smoke appeared around the princesses horn-stump. Slowly but surely, it grew back to full length and functionality. “Princess Twilight, if you would be so kind, release your kids and tend to their injuries. Then you need to talk with Pinkie Pie.”

“Yes.” said Twilight, rushing over to the captives. She threw her hands up and the smoke enveloping their ankles and wrists disappeared, allowing them to drop to the ground. Each captive rushed towards their parent, everypony hugging somepony else, save for Applejack and Rainbow Dash.

“Where’s Scootaloo?” I asked, heart beating in my throat.

“Earth.” said Rainbow Dash. “Her, Applebloom and Sweetie Belle all took a vacation to Earth. Sombra would’ve found them, though. Thank God you were here.”

“Silver, did you experience Sombra’s inability to die when you fought him?” I asked.

“Inability to die? When I fought him, he was exhibiting an inability to be touched!” said Silver Rift.

“Didn’t Queen Chrysalis have to save your butt, Dad?” asked Marceline.

“Don’t say it like it was just me having trouble!” he said in embarrassment. “I distinctly remember your mom getting her mind controlled.”

“Really, Chris? You wanna play that game?” said Fluttershy. “Okay, you asked for it. Kids, we weren’t gonna tell you this, but your dad got knocked out for three years by Sombra. You know, the stallion that this sixteen year-old filly just destroyed?”

“Low blow, Fluttershy. Low blow.”

“Listen to you! Reminiscing and joking as if you’ve won!” shouted Sombra. “I will not be ignored! You may have beaten me now, but I am nearly immortal!”

“Nearly?” I asked, turning back towards him. “How can you be nearly immortal?”

“I can only be killed in one way, but I doubt that you could figure it out!” he said triumphantly.

“I’m gonna cut off your head.” I said, stepping forwards. The little color left his face and he scrambled backwards in terror.

“My plan fell apart!” he said.

“What plan was that?” I asked with genuine curiosity.

“Er… the plan was for you to take the bluff and chuck me in prison.”

“Well, that’s that plan scuppered.” I said, ripping Kate out of his chest. I kicked him onto his stomach and swung the sword over my head.

“NO!” shouted Alex from inside my mind.

“I can’t hold it!” said Alexandria. Pain exploded through my brain, numbing my senses. Alex, no wait, I stepped backwards as Alexandria, no, I grabbed her… my head in agony. My chest exploded and I felt my wings recede. Out of my midsection burst a pony with dragon wings and two short, black devil horns on her head. Interesting. I fell backwards, my wings hitting the wall. Wings? Yes. Not normal pegasi wings, or dragon wings, but thin, wispy, almost gaseous angel wings. I felt them melt into my back, as if they were never there. The split was complete. Alex the Great was back, while Alexandria the unicorn had failed her task.

Alexandria

Alex’s horns melted back into her skull as she rushed over to aid her master. I fell onto my back, physically exhausted from the complex magic I had just done. I didn’t kill him in time. I failed.

“Lord Sombra!” exclaimed Alex, grabbing Sombra by the arm. “Are you okay?”

“No thanks to you.” he said, draping his arm across the back of her neck. “Where were you?”

“I was held captive. I’m sorry if she… I… we hurt you.”

“Oh no, it’s fine, you only went and exploded my chest!” shouted the King of Darkness sarcastically.

“Alex.” I said, scrambling to my hooves. “It’s not too late. Give up now and we won’t have to hurt you.”

“You just don’t get it, do you?” said Alex. “No matter what happens, I will always serve and protect my master, and there’s nothing you can say to change that. I will happily experience any pain, receive any torture, take any death, so long as I’m doing something for Lord Sombra! It is my destiny!” With that phrase, she was bathed in white light for a few moments. When it faded, nothing about her changed, except for the appearance of an image on her flank, a black heart, split in half and restitched, with a dark red crown above it. Her Cutie Mark.

“Congratulations, Alex.” I said. “You discovered your destiny.”

“Shut up.” she said quietly. “You know, it’s not too late for you, either. You can come with us. Work hard under Lord Sombra and, eventually, we’ll take Equestria. What do you say?” I looked Mother in the eyes, then surveyed all the ponies who’ve suffered because of Sombra, the princess, her friends, their children.

“I can’t.” I said. “These are good ponies, who did nothing to deserve this. Alex, you’re my friend, sister really, but I will not let you hurt the innocent. I will protect the princess and all of Equestria from Sombra. I’ll even fight you if I must.” Light enveloped me, just like what happened to Alex. After the light faded, I inspected my flank. My formerly blank-flank was now taken up by the image of a bright, white heart with feathered wings coming out of either side. Above it all was an ice blue tiara.

“Looks like I’m not the only one who discovered her destiny.” said Alex.

“Alex.”

“What?”

“Recombine with me.” I begged.

“Never. I don’t want to be her anymore. Never really did. Besides, you know as well as I do that we can’t. Not after that little stunt you pulled.”

“We’ll never be able to return to normal again.”

“We did make a pretty good team, though.” she said, flapping her wings to pull herself and Sombra through the air. “Are you going to fight me?”

“Not today.” I said sadly. “I can’t kill you, not now.”

“So, I guess this is goodbye.” she said, turning away. Those weird devil horns grew from her head once more. A thin beam of red energy erupted from each of them, blowing a hole in the wall. “I like that. Thanks for the upgrade.”

“Funny.” I said, wings melting out of my back. I flapped them and rose in the air. “I was going to say the same thing.”

“Goodbye Alexandria.” said my best friend.

“Goodbye Alex the Great.” I said.

“Tell the General that I’ll miss him least of all.”

“Alex!” growled Sombra. “Move!” Alex dragged him out of the hole in the wall and flew off into the distance. I dropped to the ground, thoroughly exhausted with today’s events.

“Princess Twilight.” I gasped. “Can I ask you a favor?”

“Of course! If it wasn’t for you, 50% of us would be dead.” said the princess.

“Leave Alex alone.” I said. “I want nopony to pursue her. If she goes off the map, let her stay invisible. Don’t look for them.”

“You know I can’t do that.” said Princess Twilight. “They can’t be allowed to walk free.”

“Then let me deal with her. At least let me fight her. I have to be the one.”

“I dunno.” she said, crossing her arms. She thought about it for a minute, contemplating my request. “Fine. But if you let them go, I’ll have no choice but to send somepony else after her.”

“Of course, princess.” I said, bowing on one knee. “I will make you proud.”

“What are you going to do now?”

“What I was meant to do. Protect the princess. I suppose I have some more to learn, combat, magic, things of that sort. Hopefully, I’ll never see Alex again, but, knowing our luck, we’ll probably end up killing each other.” I laughed.

“Alexandria.” said Silver. “Will you ever be able to recombine with Alex?”

“No.” I said quietly. “The soul-stitch unravelled our souls even more when it fell apart. They’re too unstable.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I… dunno. It was sort of… peaceful, being with Alex. I didn’t really have a mind of my own. My thoughts melded with Alex’s, and I understand her point of view. Doesn’t mean I agree with her.”

“So, what now?”

“Let’s go see Conjure. He probably wants a glass of milk.” I said.

Alex

I dragged Lord Sombra through the sky, not looking back at Canterlot Castle. I was able to carry him pretty easily. He panted and groaned in pain, blood steadily flowing from the gaping hole in his chest, leaving a trail behind us.

“Will you be alright, Lord Sombra?” I asked, heading towards some mountains.

“I’ll be fine.” he growled. I settled down in the mountainous terrain, leaning him against a crag of rock. I inspected his chest, his ribs and organs open to the world. She… I… we really did a number on him.

“I’m so, so sorry.” I said. “What do we do now?”

“Heal me.” he commanded.

“I don’t know how.” I said. I tried anyway, determined to heal my master once more. I felt two sharp bits of bone curve out of my head. I concentrated hard on repairing the hole in his chest. Two thin red beam flew from my new horn, colliding with my master’s stomach. I watched as his stomach sewed itself closed, his heart healed and he sighed in relief.

“That feels excellent.” he said. “Thank you, Alex. Where did those horns come from?”

“A little parting gift from Alexandria. When we split just now, she left certain residual energies into me. Apparently, that allowed me to have some magic.”

“Excellent. I need your help for something.”

“What is it, master?”

“We’re not staying in Equestria. You’re going to help me get somewhere else.”

“Where to?”

“Ever been to Earth?” he said with a wicked smile.

Author's Note

And so, it ends. Boy, wasn't this awful? Still, I did enjoy writing for Alex and Alexandria, particularly the relationship that Alex has with Sombra. So much so, I've been considering rebooting their characters in a sort of spiritual successor. Only time will tell.

If you, for whatever reason, pity this story enough to have enjoyed it, I suggest you follow me. That way, you'll get to catch the next five stories in the series. Until the next one, farewell.

Alexandria the Great

“Alexandria! It’s time for school, darling!” called Mom from downstairs. “Hurry up or you’ll be late!”

“Coming, Mom!” I called, sitting up in my bed. I jumped out of bed and stretched out my wings. “I hate these stupid things.” I walked into my bathroom and grabbed a brush off my sink. I passed it through my blue and black mane a few times. I pushed the hair out of my face, revealing my dark green eyes and slitted pupils. I used my magic to levitate my favorite article of clothing, my denim jacket, over to me, along with a pair of jeans. I threw on my jeans haphazardly and put my jacket on slowly and carefully, watching my scaly wings disappear. Lovely. I grabbed my dark shades and ran downstairs, putting them on.

“Good morning, darling.” said Mom. “Would you like something to eat?”

“No thanks.” I said, hugging her tightly.

“Ah, ah! Claws! Claws!” she cried in pain. Oops. I pulled my hands back and willed my razor-sharp claws back into my fingers.

“Sorry.” I said sheepishly. “Where’s Dad?”

“Your father went out to get me a gift for Hearts and Hooves Day. I mean, he went out to get milk. Spike was never really good at hiding things. But don’t tell him I said that.” said Mom. The door flew open and in walked a green and purple dragon holding two paper bags. He put them down on the table and walked over to me.

“Spike the Dragon.” I said seriously, looking him in the eyes with intense ferocity.

“Alexandria the Great.” he replied, equally serious. Then, without warning, he raised his right claw high above his head. I mirrored him and swung down while raising my left hand. I brought my hand back down and twirled around.

“GRAAAAAH!” we growled together, spewing fire out of our mouths. My blue flames mixed with his green and we fell to the ground laughing.

“Hi Dad!” I said cheerfully.

“What’s up, honey?” he asked, getting to his feet.

“Spike! I told you to stop spitting fire in the house!” exclaimed Mom.

“Sorry, Rarity.” he said. “I’m just trying to get her to show some dragon pride. I don’t want her to go through life hating her heritage.”

“I don’t hate being a dragon. I actually kinda like it. I like being a unicorn too. I just wish I didn’t have to be both.” I said. I made my way to the door, just to be stopped by a tall white unicorn with a light purple and pink mane.

“Hi, Alex!” she said happily.

“Auntie Sweetie Belle!” I squealed, hugging her. “What are you doing here?”

“Your mom told me you were having some problems fitting in so I thought I’d come down and talk to you. Of course, that means Scootaloo and Applebloom tagged along.”

“Where are they?”

“Right here, Alex.” said Scootaloo, walking in the house. Behind her entered a mare with a light yellow coat and a reddish mane.

“Howdy!” she said. “We heard that ya feelin a little self-conscious about ya… ya know… Cutie Mark.”
“Or lack thereof.” I said grumpily. “I still don’t have mine.”
“We understand how that feels.” said Scootaloo. “It took us an awful long time to get ours.”
“Yeah, but you did get your’s. And they’re for something really cool. What can I do? I can’t fly, I can barely do magic, and I’m a freak! What if I never get mine? What if I can’t get mine? Dragons don’t have Cutie Marks.” I cried.
“What?! You can’t fly?!” exclaimed Scootaloo. She whipped out a cell phone, pressed a few buttons and put it to her ear. “Ma? Yeah, I need you to do me a favor. Do you think you could come give Alex a few flying lessons? I’d teach her, but I thought she’d like to learn from the best. Uh-huh. Yeah. How does next Saturday sound? Good. Thanks. Tell Mom I said ‘hi’. Me and Applebloom are coming over for dinner tomorrow. Ok. Bye.”
“What was that?” I asked.
“I just got you flying lessons from the best flyer in Equestria. Rainbow Dash will be here on Saturday.”
“If you call Rainbow Dash ‘mom’, what do you call Applejack?” I asked curiously.
“Rainbow Dash is ‘Ma’ and Applejack is normally ‘Mom’ or ‘Mother’. I dunno, they tend to understand who I’m trying to talk to.”
“Is it weird having two moms?”
“No! Why would it be? You got a problem with that?” asked Scootaloo defensively.
“Of course not! I just wanted to know how you dealt with being different.” I replied.
“Oh. Sorry.” said Scootaloo, scratching her head. “I guess I just kinda… took offense.”
“Ya might as well have told em’!” said Applebloom, “Ah thought we were supposed to get everypony together and tell them at once!”
“Oops! Guess I let the cat out of the bag on this one.” said Scootaloo. “Well, might as well tell you all: me and Applebloom are going out!”
“What?!” exclaimed Mom. “How long has this been going on?! Does your mother know about this Scootaloo?”
“Considering my mothers loves me, and I have two of them, I don’t think they would care.” said Scootaloo.
“And Sweetie Belle!” she continued. “Are you also… you know… Do you… Speak French in Algeria?”
“What? If you’re trying to asked me if I’m gay, then no. You’ve met my colt-friend! Twice!”
“Oh. That’s right. Pardon me.” she said, turning away embarrassed.
“Back to my problems.” I said. “It’s not just the Cutie Mark. I’m so… different. Half-unicorn, half-dragon. I don’t fit in anywhere. I wear these shades to cover my eyes and I wouldn’t even leave the house if it wasn’t for this jacket Conjure gave me. Nopony at school even knows I have wings or what my eyes look like. What do I do about it?”
“It doesn’t matter what you look like. What matters is what’s on the inside. You have nothing to worry about. You’re unique. Alex the Great, the first pony/dragon hybrid. You should be proud.” said Aunt Sweetie. “And besides, at least you don’t have to deal with the bullies that we did.”
“Pah! I doubt you three has ever had to deal with bullies as mean as Platinum Pendant! Or Sterling Silver!” I exclaimed.
“Who does that sound like?” groaned Scootaloo.
“Let me guess: Rich fillies? First in the class to get their Cutie Marks? Total bitches?” asked Applebloom.
“Applebloom! Language, please!” exclaimed Mom.
“Uh… sorry Rarity. But that sounds an awful lot like Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.”
“Those are their parents. Do you know them?” I asked.
“Know them?” scoffed Auntie Sweetie Belle. “Yeah, we go way back. They used to torment us for being ‘Blank-Flanks’. Jerks.”
“How did you deal with them?”
“We let them egg us on and ended up in quite a few stupid situations. If we would’ve ignored them, we probably would have discovered our talents much sooner. Just don’t let them bother you.”
“Thanks for the advice, guys, but I’m ten minutes late for school.” I said, looking at the time.
“Oh my gosh! We’ll have to take you and explain to… who’s teaching nowadays? I know it’s not still Cheerilee.”
“My teacher is Ms. Dinky.” I said.
“Dinky? Dinky Doo? Isn’t that Derpy’s filly?” asked Scootaloo. “I remember Dinky! She was pretty ok.”
“Scootaloo! Focus!” said Auntie Sweetie. “We have to get Alex to school!”
“Come on.” I said, walking out the door. “Bye, Mom! Bye, Dad!”
“Have a nice day, darling!” called Mom.
“I’ll see you after school Alex!” yelled Dad. I walked behind my aunt and her two best friends in silence, thinking about what they’d said. Maybe they were right.
“Hey, Alex.” said Scootaloo. “I got you something.” She dug into her pocket and pulled out a large sapphire gem. She tossed it to me with a grin.
“No way! Scootaloo, you’re the best!” I said, catching it. I put in my mouth and sucked on it for a second, savoring the sugar-sweet flavor. I quickly took a bite and shoved the rest in my pocket for safe-keeping.
“Don’t tell your mother.” she replied. “You’re not supposed to eat too many of those. But Conjure and the princess was doing some alchemy involving gemstones, and they just so happened to have some left over. I couldn’t just throw them away. You’re mother would consider me a blasphemer if I let 30 perfectly good sapphires, rubies, and emeralds go to waste. I have the rest at my house. You can get them next time you come over.”
“You are the best!” I repeated approaching the doors of the school house. I pushed it open and entered the empty school. Absolutely nopony was here. Huh?
“Oh right!” I exclaimed. “Today’s the field trip! I completely forgot! We’re supposed to be in the Crystal Empire for a tour from the princess!”
“Oh! That’s why Twilight was so busy today!” said Scootaloo. “Don’t worry, Sweetie Belle can get us there. Right?”
“I can try.” answered my aunt. “Everypony come here.” We huddled together, linking arms. Pale green light bathed us and…
POP!

“Hello, Cutie Mark Crusaders.” said the princess. “Care to explain why Alexandria is late?”

Author's Note

This is one of the first stories I've ever written, and it is actually my favorite of the entire DoH series. As per usual, I have made no alterations to the story's content. The only additions are these notes.

I hope you enjoy this more than none.

Alex & Alexandria

Conjure dragged me and Platinum through the halls, after getting express permission from the princess. He snapped his fingers, removing Platinum’s mask, returning his body to normal and binding my arms and legs in chains.

“Really?” I asked, still a little upset. “What happened to tea and gemstones?”

“Oh, we can still do that. I just don’t trust you to behave yourself.” replied Conjure.

“Why is that?”

“Because you nearly burned my face off, you freak!” screamed Platinum. “That’s all you are: a freak of nature! A mistake! A glitch! You shouldn’t even exist!”

“What was that, pony?” I asked, mane frizzing even more. I reached forward to claw at her face. “You must really want to end up in my stomach.”

“Thank God, Robert!” exclaimed Conjure to a tall black stallion. “I need your help!”

“What is it, Isaiah? I’m not letting you transform me into a kitten again.” he said.

“I was trying to turn you into a lion! But, no, I need you to help me control Alex!”

“What’s wrong with her?”

“What’s wrong with her?!” shouted Platinum. “She’s a psycho, that’s what’s wrong with her!”

“Better to be a psycho than a corpse!” I yelled, grabbing hold of her neck once more. I threw her against the wall and clamped my fangs hard into her shoulder. A warm, salty and slightly-metallic liquid burst into my mouth, staining my teeth red. Platinum’s screams echoed through the castle as the black stallion yanked me off of her.

“Alex! Enough!” he ordered.

“But now I have the taste!” I said, mouth watering. I wanted more. “And it was delectable! If the blood is that good then the meat must be mind-blowing!” I scrambled out of his hands and jumped back onto my lunch. I wasn’t letting her get away twice.

“What do I do?!” asked the unknown stallion, yanking at my midsection. I clawed at his hands, squirmed out of his grip, just for a taste of the deliciously raw bloody meat!

“Use Battlecry!” shouted Conjure.

“What am I, a goddamn Pokemon? That takes time to prepare! Not to mention that I can’t control who it effects, so I might just make the whole thing worse!”

“Save me! I’m too pretty to die!” cried Platinum.

“Such a big mouth! I’m gonna rip your throat out with my teeth!” I growled. “I said that to get you to shut up, but that actually sounds quite good. I think I might give it a try!” I threw her to the ground and jumped on her chest, baring my teeth. I leaned in close to take a bite when I was thrown back by wave of energy.

“Conjure used Knockback!” said the stallion, Robert.

“And it was super-effective.” said Conjure. He grabbed all of us up in a sort of group hug and squinted his eyes in concentration. We were bathed in and emerald green aura and…
POP!

We were standing in a huge, empty room. There was no furniture, except for a bookshelf pushed against the back wall. The floor had a large circle painted on it. Within the circle was a triangle, which held three smaller circles. The circles were bordered with strange symbols and marks. Conjure threw me and Platinum right in the middle of the smaller circles, slammed his hands down on the floor, and enclosed me in a steel cage. He then trotted over to Platinum and used his magic to patch up her neck and shoulder. Pulling two chairs out of thin air, he sat in one and kicked the other to Robert.

“Platinum Pendant, right? What happened?” he asked.

“I was eating lunch with Sterling and then she came over to us and threw me against the wall for no reason and… well, you know the rest.” she said, staring at the ground.

“Alex. What happened?” asked Conjure.

“I was walking and she screamed ‘Broil me and sink your fangs into my gut, Alex, please!’ at the top of her lungs. She wanted to be eaten, so I thought I’d help” I growled. “Don’t get too comfy, Pendant. As soon as I find a way out of here, you’re going on the menu.” It was amazing that somepony who was normally so confident in herself could shrink away in fear like Platinum did.

“Alright, this is getting us nowhere.” said Robert, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a bag of… rubies! I loved rubies! Sapphires were great, but rubies were brain-numbingly good! “Here’s how this works: I’m going to ask some questions. Answer me truthfully and respectfully and you get a ruby. Got it?”

“Fine.” I said grudgingly. I don’t think Platinum had the capacity for words just then, because she simply nodded.

“Okay. First question: What do gemstones taste like?” asked Robert.

“Rob! Is this important?!” exclaimed Conjure.

“Just breaking the ice.”

“All gems taste different. Sapphires are really sweet, while emeralds taste a little like potato chips. Rubies remind me of cinnamon and apples, with a hint of something slightly earthy, like mushrooms. Diamonds taste like freshly roasted walnuts and amethysts taste like fancy cheese and fresh baked bread.” I said. “Do I get a ruby now?”

“Yes.” he said tossing me one. I shoved it in my mouth without hesitation. I was really hungry. Hungry for blood.

“Can you give me some characteristics of your rages?” asked Conjure. “Do you normally lose control like that? What let’s you know when you’ve been pushed too far?”

“When I get angry, my pupils dilate, my mane frizzes, my fangs and claws come out, I begin to lose control of my Infernus Gland and I start to growl.”

“Infernus Gland?” asked Robert.

“The organ that allows me to breathe fire. When I get mad, I can’t control it, which is why my nostrils smoke.”

“I get the fangs and claws, but why does your mane frizz? Seems odd.”

“Dragons, real dragons, frill up their spikes when they get mad, to intimidate predators and other dragons. My mane does the same thing.” He tossed me another ruby. I technically should have gotten 5, but beggars can’t be choosers.

“Why did you bite Platinum?”

“Besides the fact that she’s an insufferable bitch? I was hungry.” I said grumpily.

“But you’re a pony. You eat oats and grass and flowers and hay!”

“I’m also a dragon, which means I eat treasure and cattle and lava and ponies! But only when I’m mad.”

“Are you still upset?” asked Conjure

“No. I’m fine. Can you let me out now?” I asked.

“Are you lying to me when you say you aren’t angry?”

“Yes. If you let me out right now, I’ll probably maul Pendant. Not even because of what she did anymore. I’m just really hungry for her blood. You should probably get her out of here before I eat her heart.” I said. “Ugh. That somehow doesn’t sound as tasty.”

“You’ve calmed down a little.” said Robert. “So. Tell me honestly: what happened?”

“Conjure gave me this jacket before school started that would hide my wings. I normally wear it so that nopony would know I was part-dragon. Just now, Platinum and I got into an argument. She ripped of my jacket and I freaked out.” I answered.

“Thank you. Platinum, you can go back to Princess Twilight. Take this note.” said Conjure, materializing a sheet of paper. “I’ll meet with your parents, if they need to talk about this unfortunate little situation. Just give me a date and time.”

“That’s it? She get’s no punishment?” whined Platinum. “She almost killed me.”

“Don’t worry about it.” said Conjure, pushing Platinum out the door. “We’ll deal with her accordingly.” The door closed behind her, and I realised I did something terrible.

“Oh my gosh!” I cried, dropping to the floor. My fangs and claws receded, my mane flattened and I began to cry. “How could I do that?”
“It’s okay. Well, it’s not, but it’s not your fault. Well, it is, but it’s understandable.”
“What’s my punishment?” I sobbed. “Come on, I deserve it. Just drop it on me.”
“You are suspended from school for two weeks, I want you to write an apology to Platinum for her injuries and the princess for disrupting the tour, write a ten-page essay on the alchemy I used today to restrain you, no gems for the next three months, and of course, I’m going to have to alert your parents. What they do beyond that is up to them.” listed Conjure.
“Okay.” I said. “Can I get a quill and some parchment?”
“I was bluffing. Just the apologies will be fine. Forget everything else. I do still have to tell Rarity and Spike.” said Conjure kindly.
“No, I deserve a worse punishment than that. I’ll do it all.” I said.
HMMMMMMMMMM!

A loud humming filled the room, a high frequency that made my teeth rattle and my head ache. I felt warm liquid leak out of my ears. I dipped my fingers in it and inspected it. My fingers came back dry.

“Alex? What are you doing?” asked Robert.

“I’m trying to figure out what is coming out of my ears. It’s something warm. I think it’s blood. Can you guys see it?” I asked.

“No, I mean what spell are you trying to cast?”

“What?! I can’t use magic.”

“Well, your horn is glowing. Why is it red? I’d think it would be a dark green.”

“Red?” I asked. Then, it clicked. “It’s working, isn’t it? Oh, yes! It’s working!”

“What’s working? What did you do?” asked Conjure. “This magic is off the charts!” I rose off the ground, my hooves dangling beneath me. In that very instant I learned that Princess Twilight was correct: Sombra lies. He lied when he said that it would take a day or so to happen. He also lied when he said it wouldn’t hurt.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” I screamed, my forehead bursting open. I felt my body split right down the middle. My chest exploded and my wings peeled off. What was going on? My two halves fell to the ground, except they weren’t halves. They were two complete bodies. I watched them both get to their hooves, then my point of view changed. Suddenly, I was watching only one body, with a dark greenish-blue coat, a dark red mane with maroon streaks and deep red eyes. Dragon eyes. She flared out her wings and smiled a fanged smile.

“Holy shit, that hurt, didn’t it?” she laughed. “It hurt to me, anyway. What’s up? I’m Alex.” Her voice was very velvety and nonchalant. She sounded quite confident and arrogant.

“I am Alexandria. Are you who I think you are?” I asked.

“Well, if you are thinking that I’m you, then yeah. How did that feel for you?”

“It hurt like no pain I’ve ever experienced before. What do you suppose we do now?”

“I say that we kill the two morons outside and get out of here. I’m starving and the black one has… rubies! I can smell them from here!” she growled.

“That is rude and mischievous and wrong! You can’t very well go around Equestria murdering ponies just because they have something you want.”

“What the hell happened?!” asked Conjure. “Who are you two?!”

“I’m Alex the Great.” said Alex.

“And I am Alexandria.” I answered.

“Mother of Celestia.” he said. “We’re in for a hell of a day.”