Chapters Twilight and her friends could hardly believe it. They had auditioned for a Hearth’s Warming production of “Pony on the Hearth” and to their surprise, when the casting was decided, the gang was amazed that they were going to perform at Trottingham! Soon after weeks of rehearsing, the cast and crew took a train and then jumped on a boat with Pip and his family to the famous isle.
Pip was running up and down the deck excitedly. He said, “I’m so excited to be traveling back to Trottingham! What’s even better is that I’m traveling with two princesses and their friends!” He then said to Twilight, “I can’t wait to show you all of Trottingham!”
Twilight chuckled, “Well, we should save the sight-seeing until after the play, but I suppose we could see some of Trottingham before we perform.”
Pip ran off, shouting, “Yippee!”
Just then, Twilight heard retching. She turned and saw Shining Armor crouching over the railing with green tints on his cheeks.
She walked over to him and said, “This trip’s not going well for you, huh?”
Shining Armor wearily replied, “Sorry. I’ve never been much on sea travel.” He gagged before he continued, “I think this is what Cadance went through when she was pregnant.”
Flash Sentry then walked up to the siblings and said, “Hey, Twilight. I…” He then saw Shining Armor vomiting over the railing. He asked warily, “Is your brother okay?”
Twilight answered, “He’ll be fine. He doesn’t travel by sea often.” She walked with the Pegasus to another part of the railing and looked out on the sea.
They both admired the view in silence until Flash asked, “Uh, Twilight?”
She looked at him and asked, “Yes?”
The guard was stunned by how radiant her face was by the sea and the reflecting ripples of sunlight in the water. He stood stunned for a moment before he shook out of it and said, “I…Do you…remember when I had to take over the role of Edward Coltum?”
Twilight chuckled, “Of course. How could I forget?”
About a week into rehearsals, the stallion cast as Edward Coltum had dropped out. Luckily, he had an understudy. Flash only thought that he was just trying out for the heck of it, but he was shocked when he learned that he had been assigned the role full-time! He had never gotten into acting much and like Fluttershy, he was a bit shy on stage. One day, Discord was helping Flash get the hang of acting.
“No, no, Flash!” Discord told him. “You need to have more oomph! More pizzazz! Here, repeat after me.” He cleared his throat and assumed a dramatic pose. He recited, “’If I, if I were king!’”
Flash weakly imitated, “’If I, if I were king…’”
The spirit of chaos face-palmed as he grumbled, “You’re going to ruin this play for all of us!”
Twilight then walked in and said, “He’s trying!”
Flash said, “But even if I try, I’m still no good at it!” He sighed, “Let’s face it: acting’s not for me.”
The alicorn princess then smiled and levitated the script towards him. She said, “I’ll help you.” She sat beside him as he opened the book. She pointed to the description of Edward Coltum and asked Flash, “Okay, who is this?”
Though confused, Flash answered, “Edward Coltum.”
“Right. And what’s he like?”
“He’s kind, caring, loving, secretive…”
“Right! And as an actor, you need to pretend you have those traits.”
“But I do have some of those traits.”
“Exactly. The problem is you’re trying too hard. You need to be yourself, but pretend to be another pony at the same time.”
“Huh?”
“Remember those games of make-believe you played as a colt. You’ve pretended to be anything you wanted to be, haven’t you?”
Suddenly, it dawned on Flash and he nodded, “Yes. Yes! I think I have!”
“Mm-hmm. That’s exactly what acting is. You’re playing out a story as a character. Here…” She turned the pages and reached Edward’s first lines. She continued, “Let’s start with this…”
Back in the present day, Twilight told Flash, “You know what I think? I think that you are the more perfect pony to play Edward Coltum than Silver Screen.”
This caused Flash to blush until they heard the bell ringing incessantly. They turned to see Discord in sea captain attire and on the top of a pole as he rang the bell.
He called out, “Land ho! Land ho!”
The real sea captain walked towards him and said in an annoyed tone, “Are you quite done?”
Discord answered, “Yes.” As he slithered off the pole, he added, “Thank you.”
Pip gasped gleefully as he saw his home island coming into view. He jumped up and down in excitement and shouted, “We’re back! We’re back! We’re back! We’re back!”
Soon, the ship docked at the harbor and the cast and crew of the Hearth’s Warming play went straight to the theater. While everything got set for the production that night, several of the actors went on a tour of Trottingham.
Discord, most of the Mane Six, and Pip were walking down the street while the draconequus was snapping photos. The Lord of Chaos remarked, “I must say, Pip, this is a lovely place you used to live in. So why did you move away?” He took a selfie with two random ponies before the ponies ran off in fright.
Pip answered, “My father needed a job, so he took up an offer in Ponyville and then my family and I moved there.”
Fluttershy asked, “Do you miss living here often?”
“Well, yes, but then I remind myself of the wonderful times I had both in Trottingham and Ponyville. Both of them are really great. I don’t know if I’d ever choose between them.”
Discord said, “If you’d like, you can come live in Chaosville with me.”
Just then, a bell rang as the door to a shop opened. Rarity walked out and Spike grunted as he carried her packages.
The dragon asked, “So, where to next, Rarity?”
The unicorn answered, “Well, let’s see. We still have to stop by the chocolate shop, the crafts store…Oh! And we should definitely pay a visit to the antiques store!”
Suddenly, Spike yelled as he fell backwards and the packages fell on him.
Discord scolded, “Rarity! Is that any way to treat the leading actor? Honestly, I thought you of all ponies would be more careful with talent like him. Why, if I had the lead role-“
Twilight said, “Well, you don’t, okay?”
“Well, yes, but I was making a point that he is a star, and he has to be treated as such.”
Rarity said, “Oh, you’re right, Discord.” She removed the packages from Spike and apologized, “I’m so dreadfully sorry, Spikey. You are the star and I shouldn’t have treated you like that.”
Spike smiled, “That’s okay, Rarity. I don’t care if I’m the star. I just like running errands with you.”
Discord then thrust his face against Spike’s and exclaimed, “But you’re the star !” He pulled back from the dragon and continued, “How can you be the star if you don’t act like one?!”
“Look, just because I’m playing the lead role doesn’t mean I get to be some overdramatic diva.”
Rainbow whispered as she nudged her friends, “Like somepony else we know.”
The girls all giggled and Discord sneered, “Very funny.”
It wasn’t easy announcing that the name of the play had been changed because the leading actor was a dragon. Spike had rightfully won the role of Crocket for two reasons: he had been the best at auditions for the role, and he was small enough. Because of Spike, the directors of the play decided to spice things up a bit, including having Discord play the stingy Mr. Saddleton. At first, ponies weren’t sure if casting two non-ponies in the play was a good idea, but many more gave it a shot.
One hour before the show began, the theater became packed and alive with chatter.
A colt said to his friend, “I heard Discord’s going to be in the play! This is going to be awesome!”
The mother told her daughter, “You’ll just have to wait and see, love.”
A critic said to another critic, “I’m worried that Discord will ruin the play for us all.”
The other one said, “Discord? What about the dragon? He’s breaking the traditional mold of a Shetland playing Crocket! I wonder if the play is going to survive with him as the lead.”
Backstage, there was activity as the cast and crew got ready to put on the play. Discord was in his Saddleton costume as he spoke with Princess Cadance, who was holding her baby.
He said, “…and then they claim that I’m a diva! A diva ! Wherever did they get that idea?!”
Cadance chuckled, “I can’t say that isn’t true.”
“Since when?”
“Well, you were acting like a diva when you pretended to have the Blue Flu.”
“All right, all right. Point taken.”
Shining Armor then came up and smiled, “Hi, honey.” He gave her a quick kiss before he continued, “Do you think the little one’s going to love the play?”
She chuckled, “Well, I know I’m going to love it, especially with your Caleb Plummare costume.”
He chuckled, “Oh, you…” He wrapped his hoof around her again and kissed her.
Fluttershy then came up to Discord and said, “I think the audience is going to be surprised that we’re going to have real animals in the play instead of actors in costumes.”
Discord smiled, “Why, of course. You didn’t think that I wouldn’t use my ability to make the animals talk, did you?”
“No, of course not. Besides, the directors wanted to spice things up this year.”
“Why do you think they cast me?” When he smirked, Fluttershy just giggled.
Flash asked Twilight, “Do you really think I can do this?”
Twilight put her hoof on his and reassured him, “I have faith in you.”
A stagehoof called out, “One minute, everypony! One minute!”
Cadance gasped, “Oh! We better get in our seat. Baby and I will be watching.”
Shining Armor snuggled his bundle of joy, “Enjoy your first play, kiddo.”
The baby gurgled in response.
The lights dimmed and the music began to play. A voice then sang, “One Hearth’s Warming morning…you may look into your stocking…and find that something shocking has occurred…Among the candy canes and toys…you'll hear a funny little noise…You've got yourself a dragon on the hearth…”
The curtains parted and showed scenery of Trottingham in olden times. A choir of ponies then sang, “Dragon on the hearth…Take that horseshoe off your door…With a dragon on the hearth…you can leave that lucky penny sittin' on the floor…Dragon on the hearth…Throw that rabbit's foot away…With a dragon on the hearth…You can save that sticky wishbone for another day…”
“Let him abide by the fire side…And luck will come a knockin' on your door…and the spirit of Hearth’s Warming will live with you forevermore…Dragon on the hearth…See that mistletoe above? With a dragon on the hearth…cut it down you'll still be lucky…Step on a crack and spill the salt…Plus a cat that's black, badabing…Catapult your luck…when you have a lucky dragon…dragon on the hearth…”
The window set then opened as Spike – who was in olden Trottingham attire – raised the bottom part. He shivered, “Brr! It sure is cold out there!” He faced the audience and then said, “Oh, hi! I didn’t see you there. I’ll be with you in a moment.” He turned to close the bottom part of the window set and then jumped down onto the floor.
He went to the fake fireplace and said, “Ahhh…Home at last.” He then said to the audience, “Well, Happy Hearth’s Warming to you. I suppose you’re all wondering what me, a dragon, is doing on Hearth’s Warming with a home of my own. See, I’m a part of the family, as it were. Wanna see some pictures?”
He was about to reach into his vest until he exclaimed, “Oh! Not yet! I have to tell you a story first. You see, this is a lucky household because it has a dragon on their hearth. And indeed, I am good luck, for if it hadn’t been for Crocket Dragon here, why, there wouldn’t be any family! I’ll tell you how it all began…”
As the lights darkened and the setting and Spike began to rotate, he continued, “It was a long time ago…”
When the lights turned back on, the setting had changed to a lush countryside with various ponies out and about. Spike’s voice could be heard offstage as he said, “Springtime, if I remember correctly.”
Offstage, Twilight used her magic to change the colors of Spike’s outfit so it was yellow over red instead of the other way around. “Thanks,” he whispered to Twilight. He then took his cane and marched onstage. He said, “Oh, I was some cracking dragon, I could tell you. Ready to take on the world. I was looking for a proper family to adopt. Suddenly, I spied the happiest house I’d ever seen. And a toy shop, too.”
Shining Armor then stepped out the door of the house set with a bag over his back. He turned and called into the stage behind the set, “I’ll return in a little while.”
Shining Armor almost trampled on Spike until the dragon shouted, “Hey, hey! Watch it!”
The stallion gasped in happy surprise, “Why, it’s a dragon!”
Spike readjusted his outfit and said, “Yep. Even though I have tough scales, I happen to be very fragile.”
Shining Armor laughed, “Oh, I mean you no harm. Why, I’ve heard that you dragons bring good luck with you. How about staying with us for a while? Just go inside and make yourself at home. That is, if you would like to.”
Spike contemplated, “Well…”
“Oh, it’s not a very exciting place. Just me and my daughter and, of course, the toys.”
“Sir, I’d be delighted. Crocket’s the name. Crocket Dragon.”
Shining Armor shook his hoof with Spike’s claw as the stallion said, “I’m Caleb Plummare. We’ll work out the arrangements later, after I deliver these toys. Good-bye.”
Spike looked into the window of the house and remarked, “I suppose I had never seen a happier room. And there, in the corner, *gasp* was the nicest little hearth you could ever hope for.” Spike opened the window and jumped into the house set. He said, “Perfect.”
Just then, he heard crying and saw that Twilight and Flash were on the couch. Though all three had rehearsed this scene many times, Spike couldn’t bear to see Twilight so broken. Despite his own breaking heart, Spike managed to keep a straight face and said in a calm voice, “Wait, what’s that?”
Twilight sobbed, “Oh, Edward, I shouldn’t.”
Flash told her, “No. No, Bertha. You go right ahead and cry.”
“But I don’t want you to remember me like this. All…all teary…”
“Any memory of you will be the most precious a colt could carry.”
Twilight then faced Flash with teary eyes. Even though he knew they were acting, Flash felt heartbroken from seeing Twilight like this. She said to him, “But I promised myself that I’d be brave…and strong to the very end.” She once again embraced Flash and let out a few sobs. She then continued, “Oh, why must you go away?”
Flash explained, “I must serve out my enlistment. I must go to sea tomorrow.”
She pulled back from him and said, “For two years?!” She stood up and said, “It’s just not fair!”
“Darling, I’m a commissioned officer in the Royal Navy and-“
Twilight ranted, “Oh, I hate the commission! And I hate that uniform! And I hate the Royal Navy!”
Flash shouted, “Bertha!” He cringed inside because it was harsher than he intended.
Twilight herself was surprised, but continued acting, “No, I don’t…really. I’m sorry.”
The ponies embraced as Flash said, “I’ll release you from your promise if you want.”
Twilight drew back and sobbed, “Oh, no! Oh, Edward…”
At this point, Spike was standing by the fake hearth and holding his top hat. He chewed on the rim of his hat and wept almost for real. He said in a broken voice, “I…I couldn’t help myself. See, that’s the way with us dragons: we get involved.”
Flash said to Twilight, “My darling, you will be here when I return? Promise?”
Twilight smiled at Flash, “Oh, Edward.” She traced her hoof alongside his face and continued, “I love you so.”
Flash couldn’t help but blush at that. Despite rehearsing the scene many times, he felt as if she was really growing on him. Twilight felt the same way about Flash.
Flash began to sing, “Don’t give your love away…Wait for me, I will come back to you…And we’ll have a thousand days of May…Don’t give your love away…I've kissed your smile till May…I know waiting will be hard for you…And I wish I could do more than say…Don't give your love away…
“My longest day will be when I remember today…And I'll wonder if you'll be there…If the years haven't touched our love out there…Still moment, speak for me…Tell her words are much too weak for me…What I feel comes to my lips one way…Don't give your love away…”
The curtains closed and after about a minute, they opened again to reveal Shining Armor, Twilight, and Spike at a work table. Spike told the audience, “Well, the time passed quickly. I suppose it does when you’re busy. Oh, and busy we were! Hearth’s Warming was getting nearer and nearer.”
Shining Armor told Spike, “Two tacks, Crocket!”
Spike said, “Two tacks! Gotcha!” He picked them up and tossed them to Shining Armor, who took them with his magic and then pounded them into the toy cart he was making.
Twilight held a doll with her magic and said, “More red paint, Crocket, if you please. Hmm…Make it ‘Smiling Red’.”
Spike said, “’Smiling Red’ you want, ‘Smiling Red’ you get!” He quickly grabbed the red paint from the shelf and carefully poured it into the small bowl near Twilight. He remembered that a couple times during rehearsals, he had spilled the red paint. One time, he spilled it on the actors themselves.
He asked Twilight, “How’s that, Bertha?”
Twilight said, “Ooh! Divine!” She dipped her paintbrush in the paint and painted red lips on the bride doll. She said, “The perfect color for a smile. I suppose I’m being extravagant with the paint, but no child wants a doll who can’t smile.” She then sniffled.
Shining Armor said, “Now, now. What’s this? Was that a tear that I saw, Bertha? Now, you shouldn’t get yourself all unhappy and teary over thinking about your young colt.”
Twilight said, “It’s been a year and a half since Edward went away and…and, well, sometimes when I think about him, I smile and cry because I’m happy.”
She began to sing, "If a tear falls when you’re smiling…and you’re still gay inside…then it means you found a happiness…Your tears can never hide…Smiles go with tears…Smiles go with tears…Sometimes when you're happiest…smiles go with tears…
“When you haven't seen a loved one…and he suddenly appears…Even though you try to control yourself…you'll never hide the tears…Smiles go with tears…Smiles go with tears…Sometimes when you're happiest…smiles go with tears…
“Let a happy little tear fall…Let it ride right down your face…Let it say ‘I love you, I missed you so…No one can take your place’…Smiles go with tears…smiles go with tears…Sometimes when you're happiest…smiles go with tears…”
Twilight asked Spike and Shining Armor, “Now for the eyes. Brown and black, or sky-blue pink?”
They all laughed until the door opened. Twilight gasped, “Oh!”
Shining Armor asked, “What, uh…what can I do for you?”
Martingale, the Ponyville housing agent, asked, “You are a certain Caleb Plummare?”
The stallion answered, “I am.”
“Call me Jere-neigh-ah Bleak. I am a certain agent of Her Majesty, the Queen.”
“Oh?”
“Do you have a certain Bertha Plummare for a daughter, who in turn was engaged to a certain Edward Coltum?”
“You mean, is engaged.”
“I am sorry, but it is my melancholy duty to inform you…” He pulled out a scroll and continued, “…that a certain Edward Coltum, late of Her Majesty’s Royal Navy, is lost at sea. Celestia have mercy.”
Twilight gasped, “No! No! NO!!!”
Martingale said, “These small, mournful effects willed to the girl.” He then pulled out a box.
Twilight shrieked as she fell backwards.
The backstage Pegasi created lightning for the effect. Shining Armor held his sister, who pretended to be unconscious, in his arms and said despairingly, “Bertha! Bertha, my darling daughter! It’s all a mistake, I’m certain!” He asked Martingale desperately, “It could be a mistake, couldn’t it?”
Martingale said, “Hardly.”
Shining Armor stroked Twilight’s mane and said in a broken voice, “Oh, no…No, no…My poor baby…My poor baby…”
As soon as Martingale left, Spike shuddered, “Oh, that’s a day I’d soon as not remember. The beginning of all our troubles, for you see, the shock of that awful message, delivered the way it was, turned poor Bertha…blind!”
Shining Armor sobbed, “Oh, my baby…My poor, poor baby…”
The curtains then closed on the miserable scene.
Author's Note
Martingale appeared in Discord and the Ponyville Players Dramarama . Also, the words "These small, mournful effects" are exactly what I heard when I wrote this. I could be wrong, though. If I've made a mistake, please tell me so I can correct it. Thank you!
Backstage, Twilight was trying to get her blurry contacts on. She had to wear these to look like she was blind. She remembered when she tried them on during rehearsals. She kept bumping into sets and actors and almost fell off the stage at one point. After the incident, the directors made sure there were pillows lining the base of the stage in case she did fall.
Discord appeared and said, “Hey, Twilight. Make sure you don’t fall off the stage or bump into anything again.” He snickered, which caused Twilight to glare at him.
Though she could barely see him – or anything – she retorted, “Even with these contacts on, I can still see the chocolate stain on your goatee.”
Discord cried, “What?!” He combed his goatee and found nothing was there. He growled, “You’re just trying to get back at me, aren’t you?” Twilight smirked and he said, “Don’t forget, my big debut is on in T-Minus 15 minutes. I have to look sharp and act the part. Au revoir , Twilight.”
In a moment, he disappeared in a flash.
Another pony came in the door and Twilight could barely see that it was Flash. He said, “Hey. Discord give you trouble?”
She sighed, “Yes. Whenever he’s not irking us onstage, he’s irking us offstage .”
“I think he’s just excited that he’s playing a bigger role than just being in the ensemble.”
“Yes. I think that could be it. Ever since he got the role of Mr. Saddleton, he’s been a diva left and right.”
“Aren’t you glad he didn’t get the lead? I think that would’ve made him a bigger drama queen than he already is.”
Suddenly, in a flash, Flash was dressed like a mare competing in a beauty pageant.
Twilight shouted, “DISCORD!”
*****
Several minutes later, the curtains parted again and it showed Spike, illuminated in a single spotlight. He narrated, “Oh, grim times were upon us, I’ll tell you. How quickly everything changed! Poor, dear Bertha living in her world of darkness, and old Caleb was beside himself with grief. All he did was nurse his daughter! He didn’t tack the unfinished toys, and Hearth’s Warming was only a short way off! And when the happy season came, he wasn’t ready. He didn’t sell one toy that year!
“What money he did have all went to the doctors he brought in, but they could do no good. Caleb, not thinking, went out and borrowed more and more money! He didn’t have any idea how to pay them back. Now, one sad day, they could no longer pay the rent and they went deep in debt. Old Caleb had no choice but to pack up and leave.
“Oh, they were hard times, I can tell you. Long, hungry days looking for work, anything. Finally, one day…”
The lights darkened and then lightened up again to reveal Shining Armor, Twilight, and Spike near a lamppost. Shining Armor dropped his bag and said in weary despair, “It’s no use. We can’t go one step farther. We have no other choice.”
Twilight, with eyes now faded from the contacts she wore, asked, “No choice, Father? What…what do you mean?”
Spike looked up and saw an arrow sign that said, “TO THE POOR HOUSE”. He exclaimed, “The poor house?! Oh, no!” He pleaded Shining Armor, “You can’t give up!”
Shining Armor said, “What else can I do?”
Spike said, “Oh, if we ever needed a bit of luck…” He turned and saw a building to his left. He said, “Wait…Is that what I think it is? A toy factory! Now I think they could use a toymaker like you!”
Shining Armor asked with hopeful eyes, “Do you think so?”
“Well, let’s find out. Come on!”
The group made their way to the toy factory set and the lights went black. After about a minute, one half of the stage lit up to reveal Twilight sitting on a bench and Spike peeking into a keyhole.
Twilight asked, “Crocket, is Father seeing Mr. Saddleton right now?”
Spike said, “Uh-huh, uh-huh.” He shushed to the audience and went back to peeking.
The half where Twilight and Spike were at went dark and the half with Shining Armor, Discord, and Owlowiscious lit up.
Discord leaned forward on his desk and put his left elbow on it. He said, “So let me get this straight: you want to be a toymaker in my factory?” He chuckled, “Toymakers come in dozens.” He asked the owl, “Correct, Uriah?” When the owl hooted, the draconequus laughed, “Oh, yes.”
Shining Armor said, “But I’m a very good worker, sir. And I have my own tools and…and I’m very good, sir.”
“You said that twice already.” He turned to Owlowiscious and said, “You hear that, Uriah?” He pointed his thumb at Shining Armor and said, “He’s very good.” He then snickered. He said to Shining Armor, “My friend, Uriah Caw, thinks that’s very funny.”
Shining Armor hung his head low and said, “I’m sorry. I really best be going.”
Discord held out his arm and said, “No, wait!” He floated up to the stallion and wrapped an arm around him. He said, “Caleb Plummare, is it? I’ve heard of your skills. Of course, you won’t be paid anything, but if you could deliver right on time, I suppose there’ll be leftover food for you.”
As soon as Discord floated back to his desk, Shining Armor turned back toward him and said, “Whatever you say, sir.” He glanced around and then asked, “Where…where are the other toymakers?”
Discord began laughing raucously. He pounded on the desk in laughter and said to the owl, “Did you hear that, Uriah Caw? He wants to know where the other toymakers are!” The owl hooted as the Master of Chaos laughed. As he wiped a tear from his eye, Discord said, “My dear stallion, there are no other toymakers.” He chuckled before the lights went black.
When the lights came back on, Twilight and Shining Armor stood inside the set of a broken-down house. Twilight asked eagerly, “Is this our new home, Father? What’s it like?”
Shining Armor responded, “Well, uh…Splendid! Splendid. Quite palatial!”
Twilight asked, “And Mr. Saddleton? What’s he like, Father?”
“Oh, he’s fine!”
Spike quietly groaned at the stallion’s response.
Shining Armor continued, “And he’s made me head colt of his entire factory!”
Twilight took off her green bonnet and said, “Oh, Father! How I wish I could see it all!”
Shining Armor wrapped a hoof around his sister and said, “I’ll see everything for you, my dear. And everything I see shall be beautiful. I promise you.”
He then sang, “Through my eyes…You will see the world as it should be…Through my eyes…Always gay…Pretty colors coloring the gray…Through my eyes…Let me dry your foolish tears…Now and forever…
“Take my love and throw away…the word called "never"…Let my heart teach you how to feel…my love help you to reveal…the secret world…A new world through my eyes…Through my eyes…You will see the world as it should be…Through my eyes…And one day…you'll be happy that you found the way…That you saw the world through my eyes…Through my eyes…”
The lights then dimmed and then lit up again to reveal Shining Armor talking to the set. He said, “Cook? Oh, I can’t call you ‘Cook’. What’s your name? Becky? You’ve a very quiet mare, Becky.”
He took a few steps to the right and said, “And you are Jarvis, are you not?” He stood up straight and spoke in a deep voice, “Yes, milord.” He spoke again in his regular voice, “Well, that’ll be all, Jarvis. You can have the night off.” He said in his deep tone, “Thank you, milord.”
When the lights became dark, Spike said, “And it was like we lived in two worlds…” After a short flash, Spike continued, “…what was real for us, and what was real for blind Bertha.”
The lights came on again to reveal Twilight and Shining Armor sleeping in nightclothes. The alicorn was sleeping on the bed while her brother slept on the floor. Spike was also in his nightclothes, but he was awake and sitting up in his “bed”.
He quietly ranted, “Grr…Of all the rickety, broken-down houses in all of Equestria, this has got to be the most shackled, worthless house there is!” Suddenly, he fell off the stones he was on and hit the floor. He sighed, “Oh, well. What’s the use? Make do, Crocket Dragon! Make do.”
He was about to sleep until something landed next to him. He yelped when he saw the owl on the floor. He tittered, “Er, heh, heh…Good evening, Uriah.”
Owlowiscious told Spike, “Oh, I’ve heard so much about your kind! What’s it like being a dragon? Do you shed your scales? Are you heat-resistant? How do you bring good luck with you?”
Spike said as Owlowiscious flew up to perch on the table, “Whoa, easy, easy. I can answer a lot of questions, but I’m afraid that I don’t know just why I bring good luck with me.”
The owl said, “Oh. But we still need it.”
Spike crossed his arms and asked in a distrustful tone, “Why should I give good luck to your thieving owner, Mr. Saddleton?”
Owlowiscious hooted sadly, “His toy business is not doing very well. Hopefully with a colt like Caleb Plummare, the rates could go up the roof!”
The dragon scoffed, “Sounds to me like all he cares about is the money.”
“Yes.”
A voice then called out, “Uriah! Oh, Uriah! Ollie-oxen-free!”
Owlowiscious gasped, “It’s Mr. Saddleton! Hide!”
Spike said as he ducked behind the table, “I’m on it!”
A few moments later, Discord emerged in his nightclothes with a birdcage in his claw. He admonished Owlowiscious, “Uriah, what are you doing up at this hour? You’re robbing me of much-valued beauty sleep.”
Spike whispered to the audience, “Yeah, right.”
The audience chuckled. Discord heard that and took offense. However, he hid it well and continued acting, “Now, back in your cage, you naughty, naughty birdie.”
Owlowiscious hooted sadly and reluctantly flew in the birdcage. Spike whispered, “Poor Uriah…”
Discord put a white blanket over the birdcage and said, “Nighty-night, little friend.” He left the set and took the birdcage with him.
Spike narrated, “Well, it was obvious that one of us had to escape Mr. Saddleton’s awful grasp, but I’m getting ahead of my story.”
The lights darkened for about half a minute before brightening again to reveal Shining Armor at his work table. Spike narrated, “It was about a week before Hearth’s Warming, and poor, old Caleb Plummare was working night and day to keep up with the demands of the season.”
Suddenly, the door slammed open and Discord emerged, shouting, “Plummare, you are using entirely too much paint on the dolls’ faces!”
Despite rehearsing this scene many times, Shining Armor was still shaken up by the door slamming. He thought, Why did he insist on slamming the door? Halfway through rehearsals, Discord suggested slamming the door when he entered. There had been a couple of incidents since then. One time, the door fell off its hinges. Another time, it punched a hole in the makeshift wall.
Shining Armor turned to Discord and said, “Just trying to give them nice smiles.”
“Who the blazes cares about smiles?! A dozen and a half is enough for any doll. Paint costs money!”
The stallion sighed, “Yes, sir.”
The lights then blackened and Spike appeared in a single spotlight. He narrated, “Oh, but Saddleton Toys were mean and grubby things. All he cared about was the money they brought. But Caleb couldn’t see them going out into the world like that. So, every night, he and I would sneak in and fix them up nice and new, then pop them back in their boxes by morning so Saddleton wouldn’t find out.”
As he exited stage left, the lights brightened to show a different setting - the snowy Trottingham streets. Shining Armor was wearing his coat and carrying a bundle of packages. Before Spike disappeared behind the curtain, he said, “It was just two days before Hearth’s Warming when we met up with…him .”
After Spike left, Shining Armor ran into a bearded Pegasus. The unicorn cried, “Oh, excuse me, sir! I had so much in front of me that I couldn’t see you!”
The Pegasus said, “No, no. It was my fault, I assure you. Here, allow me to help you…” He reached down for one of the packages as he said, “…pick those up…” Suddenly, he dropped it and groaned as he put his hoof on his back.
Shining Armor asked, “What is it, sir?”
The bearded Pegasus moaned, “My bones ache so terribly. I’ve no money for a room. I’m sleeping out of doors.”
Shining Armor said, “Why, that’s terrible. And in this weather. Oh, you must come home with me. I haven’t much to offer, but you’re quite welcome to share it with me.” He grabbed the packages and took the Pegasus by the hoof.
The gentlecolt said, “Bless you, son. Bless you.”
The lights dimmed again and then lit up after about a minute. Twilight, Shining Armor, and the stranger were all sitting around a table. Spike watched from the hearth and said to the audience, “He was a funny, quiet sort of fellow. He was strange, too. He just looked at Bertha with those sad, old eyes.”
Twilight said, “We’re so glad you could stay with us.”
The gentlecolt said, “Oh…Oh, it’s my pleasure indeed…Bertha.”
The alicorn gasped and the Pegasus asked, “Er…What is it?”
Twilight said, “Oh…The…the way you said…my-my name just now…”
“I’m sorry. Indeed, I am. I was too forward. Ms. Plummare, I meant to say.”
Shining Armor chuckled, “Here now, here now, no serious business. We’re all one family and it’s almost Hearth’s Warming.”
Twilight chuckled, “And we’re going to have a splendid Hearth’s Warming this time, aren’t we, Father? With mistletoe, and a big tree, and decorations, and-and everything!” Shining Armor looked downcast until Twilight said, “Oh, promise me, Father. Oh, promise me. Even though I…I cannot see them, you will have those things?”
Shining Armor put his hooves on his sister and said, “But of course. Of course.”
When the siblings embraced, Spike narrated, “Now, Caleb had been ly-Er, stretching the truth for a long time now to keep Bertha happy, but…when it came to fibbing about Hearth’s Warming, well, he just wasn’t quite up to it.”
Just then, a big canvas rolled down from the rafters. It was a painting of olden Trottingham at night. Backstage, Discord squealed, “Ooh, there’s one of my very extravagant paintings! Eat your heart out, Vincent van Goat.”
Discord had been assigned to paint some paintings for the show. The draconequus made the paintings so beautiful that everyone absolutely adored his work. Now, the audience oohed and ahhed at this spectacular depiction of olden Trottingham.
Fluttershy put a hoof on Discord’s claw and said, “I’m so proud of you, Discord.”
Discord sniffled, “I know. I couldn’t have done it any better.”
It was on this such occasion that the ponies had to play an audio recording of the song “The First Hearth’s Warming”. DJ Pon-3 connected the player to the audio system and pressed the ‘play’ button.
Shining Armor’s voice began to sing, “Could it be Hearth’s Warming…without the mistletoe? Could it be Hearth’s Warming…without the winter snow…No fireplace…No Hearth’s Warming tree…No decorations…Just you and me…Would it be Hearth’s Warming then?
“On the first Hearth’s Warming…there was no mistletoe…On the first Hearth’s Warming…there was no winter snow…No fireplace…No Hearth’s Warming tree…No decorations…Just the wise mares three…and it was Hearth’s Warming then…
“The holiday season has changed…but the reason we celebrate remains…It can be Hearth’s Warming…without the mistletoe…It can be Hearth’s Warming…without the winter snow…No fireplace…No Hearth’s Warming tree…No decorations…Just you and me…It can be Hearth’s Warming then…for Hearth’s Warming lives in the hearts of colts…”
Most of the ponies in the audience went out into the lobby with tears in their eyes from the beauty of the song and the painting. The patrons weren’t the only ones to have been touched by such a combination of visual and audio delight. Discord was one of the several ponies – cast and crew – who were dabbing their eyes with handkerchiefs.
Fluttershy asked as she wiped her eyes, “Still gets you, doesn’t it?”
He blew his nose and answered, “Every time. The song and my painting are so beautiful that when combined…” He pressed his handkerchief to his eyes to absorb the tears overflowing again. He continued in a choked-up voice, “…it’s so astounding!”
Just then, his ears perked up when he heard a conversation. He turned his head and blinked away any remaining tears to see Twilight – who wasn’t wearing her blurry contacts - and Flash – dressed up as the elderly gentlecolt – talking in her dressing room. The Lord of Chaos quietly slithered to a wall near the door.
Fluttershy asked, “Discord, what are you…?”
He put a finger on his lips and whispered, “Shh! I want to find out what the two lovebirds are up to.”
“Lovebirds? They’re just acting, Discord.”
“Oh, come on, Flutters. I can see it in their eyes. They’re falling in love with each other.”
“Ahem.” A voice said.
Discord’s pupils shrank and his ears drooped as soon as he heard that. He turned to see Twilight and Flash glaring at him. The draconequus whispered, “Busted.”
Twilight said in an irritated tone, “Is there something that needs my attention?”
Discord sweated as he stuttered, “Oh! Um…I was just wondering if you wanted to go out to the lobby and grab some caramel popcorn balls. They’re really good. In fact, I’m going to grab some for myself. Well, see you in 15 minutes!” He flashed out of there in an instant.
Twilight said, “I hope his mouth doesn’t get too sticky. He’ll never say his lines otherwise.”
Flash rubbed his fake beard and said, “But that doesn’t make sense. This role means much to him. He wouldn’t dare do anything to jeopardize his acting.”
Fluttershy said, “Oh, he only said that. He doesn’t actually want to ruin his chances.”
Twilight said, “Now, I wonder why.”
*****
Out in the lobby, Discord grabbed some punch. He was drinking from his cup until he saw Princess Cadance.
When he made his drink disappear in a flash, he went to her and said, “Cady! What are you doing in the lobby?”
The alicorn answered, “I thought it was a good time for Shining Armor to spend time with the baby. Besides, I needed the break.”
“Well, that’s good to know. Er, listen. I think I know something two other ponies don’t.”
Cadance looked at him dubiously, “If you have a secret, then why are you telling me?”
“Well, you’re the Princess of Love, after all. You see, these two ponies are, shall we say, bonding even though they don’t know it.”
“Are you talking about Twilight and Flash Sentry?”
“Precisely.”
She chuckled, “Look, if they have feelings for each other, they need to admit to one another. You can’t make them confess and neither can any pony. You just have to wait and see if they do share feelings for one another.”
Discord pouted and said, “Oh, poo.”
When everypony got back to their seats, the curtains parted again and showed Shining Armor and Twilight – wearing her blurry contacts again - at work with the toys. Spike said to the audience, “Well, the following day was Hearth’s Warming Eve, and we were really busy.
Discord came in through the door and said, “Rest period! Do take a rest!” After Owlowiscious hooted, Discord continued, “I’ve decided to give you a Hearth’s Warming bonus.” He gave Shining Armor coins and said, “Four whole bits. Here, a bit for you, my dear.” He gave a bit to Twilight.
Shining Armor, Twilight, and Spike – who was hiding from Discord – was confused about Discord adding “my dear” to his lines. Spike remarked, “I hope it doesn’t bankrupt the old skinflint.”
Discord said, “Actually, I must confess to…oh, say, an ulterior motive. Heh-heh-heh-heh.” Though what he was about to say wasn’t really his ulterior motive (that was getting Flash and Twilight together), he floated and continued, “This is a lonely, old place for me, and I finally decided that what I need…” He turned around to face the ponies and said, “…is a wife.”
Shining Armor said in disbelief, “A wife, sir? You?”
“And why not?” Discord ran his talon through his mane as he said, “I’m quite the charmer.”
Spike scoffed, “Ha!”
Discord eyed Shining Armor and asked, “Did you say something?”
The stallion smiled awkwardly and said, “Um…No, sir.”
“Hmm…Well, to get to the point, I’m happy to inform you that the mare I would so like to honor is none other than your dear, lovely, intelligent, beautiful, graceful, stately, cherished…”
Twilight and Shining Armor gave each other confused glances. The stallion interrupted Discord in an annoyed tone, “Get on with it.”
Discord held up a finger to state that he wasn’t finished. The spirit of chaos continued, “…beloved, adoring, dedicated, lucky Bertha.”
Shining Armor acted as if he was shocked to hear this. He exclaimed, “What?”
“We could be wed tomorrow. Hearth’s Warming, a holiday. That way, we wouldn’t lose a day’s work.” He then chuckled as Shining Armor hung his head.
Twilight acted like she was flattered and said, “Oh, sir…”
Discord said, “No, you don’t have to make up your mind right away. Take your time, think it over.” He pulled out a pocketwatch and said, “Why, I’ll give you…shall we say, an hour and fifteen minutes? Sound fair?” When there was no response, he said, “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’.” He clicked his watch and put it back in his vest. He said as he exited the stage, “Meanwhile, back to work!”
Fluttershy met up with Discord and said, “Why did you adlib your lines?”
Discord answered, “Well, I wanted to make Flash jealous. Either that or maybe he’ll learn that there are admirable traits about dear Twilight.” He then continued in a displeased tone, “Even though I don’t particularly care for them myself.”
Onstage, Twilight said, “Oh, Father! I’m so very honored!”
Shining Armor put his hoof on his sister and said, “But…but, my dear, you’re just a child.”
Twilight said, “Father, I haven’t been a child for a long time. You’ve just got to accept the fact that I am a big, grown-up mare now.”
She then sang, “Lullabies and fairytales…Pinafores, piano scales…Satin bows and cheeks of rose…That was yesterday…Young filly upon your knee…That was what I used to be…Bunny nose but heaven knows…That was yesterday…
“So look up, your little filly’s a mare…with a weighty problem…Daddy is her problem…He thinks she's still a child…Carousels and wishing wells…Golden shoes with silver bells…Starry eyes and cherry pies…That was yesterday…
“Carousels and wishing wells…Golden shoes with silver bells…Starry eyes and cherry pies…That was yesterday…Yesterday…”
The door opened and in stepped Flash as the elderly gentlecolt. He said, “Ms. Plummare…”
Twilight said, “Who’s that? The old gentlecolt? I have happy news, sir!”
Flash said, “And I’ve something to tell you. I’ve waited too long.”
The alicorn chuckled, “No, no, no. Let me tell my news first, for it is bursting inside of me. The most wonderful colt in the whole world has asked me to be his wife!”
Flash, acting as if he was trying to mask his disdain, said, “Indeed. May I offer you, then, my…heartiest congratulations?”
Twilight chuckled again, “They don’t sound very hearty. And now, what have you to tell me?”
Flash stuttered, “Well, I…uh…that is, um…”
Spike went up to Twilight and said, “Oh, blast all this telling one another! We’ve got no time for it! This is an emergency!”
Twilight admonished Spike, “Oh, Crocket, what a thing to say.”
Flash then backed into another door and said, “Excuse me.” He then shut the door.
Shining Armor asked, “What’s wrong with the old fellow?”
Spike said exasperatedly, “Never mind him! Think of her!”
The stallion shrugged, “What can I do? Have I deceived her all this time, but to break her heart at last?”
Twilight said, “Father, I’ve made up my mind. When Mr. Saddleton returns, I shall tell him that I accept his proposal.”
Spike collapsed to the floor and cried, “NOOOOO!”
The curtains then closed on the group.
Discord walked up to Spike as he was clapping. He commended, “Bravo, Spike. I never knew you had drama in you.”
“Thanks.” As the dragon sat up, he asked the Lord of Chaos, “So, what about your sneezing scene? Are you going to sneeze up that rubber chicken again? That was funny.”
Discord put a finger up and said, “I never sneeze up the same thing twice. You should know that by now. Now, up you go!” He grabbed Spike and tossed him on the highest shelf. The dragon screamed until he landed on the shelf.
Spike cried, “Are you crazy, Discord?!”
“Well, whenever you try to do your plan-thwarting thing from underneath the table, you always mess it up.”
“But I thought I got it the last time.”
“Well, last time, I used my magic to help you.”
Spike glared at him as the draconequus left the stage. Twilight was about to get him down, but the curtains were opening. The set was now the living room and, much to the audience’s surprise, Spike was on the topmost shelf. He had to muster every bit of strength and courage to keep from being afraid.
Despite this, though, he said to the audience in a shaky voice, “See, I-I was d-d-determined that Bertha would n-never get a chance to say ‘y-y-yes’. I got everything I n-n-needed to make sure that my p-p-p-plan would work. R-r-right on the dot, he arrived.”
As soon as Discord appeared at the door, Twilight said, “Do come in and sit beside me, Mr. Saddleton. I’ve made tea.”
Discord chortled as he floated to her, “I shall. Oh, I shall, you pretty, little mare.”
Twilight hated being called such names by Discord, but she poured the tea and asked, “One lump or two?”
Discord said as he sat down, “Two. Oh yes, two, my pretty.” He then felt the acorn props and the vial of sparkly sneeze dust at his feet. He forgot that they were left there for Spike, but now under different circumstances, he snapped his tail and sent the things to Spike on the shelf.
Spike muttered, “Thanks a lot, buddy.” He took the acorn props and said, “So, if it’s two you want, it’s two you get.” He dropped the props and to his surprise, they landed in Discord’s teacup.
Discord sputtered when the tea got on his face. He was surprised that Spike managed to drop the acorns into his tea. However, he wondered if the same could be said about the sparkly sneeze dust.
Twilight wished she could actually see Spike’s successful attempt with clear eyes, but she continued acting, “Is anything wrong?”
Discord said as he wiped his face with his handkerchief, “Um, no. And now, my dear, we come to the reason of my presence here.” He then chuckled.
Spike said, “That’s what you think.” He grabbed the vial and said, “Hope you like sparkly sneeze dust.” He then shook it down onto Discord’s tea.
Discord said, “Have you made up your pretty, little mind?” He chuckled again.
Twilight said, “Well, to tell the truth, kind sir…”
“Yes? Heh-heh-heh.” He took a sip of his tea and immediately started sneezing. A couple of golf balls rolled into the tea set.
Twilight gasped, “Oh! Oh, what was that?!”
“Never mind. Now…” He sneezed again and this time, Spike flew from the shelf and onto a comfy pillow on the floor.
“What-what-what on Earth?”
“Excuse me, my pretty la…Ah-choo!” He blew the table off with his sneeze. As he ran stage right, he sneezed again. The whole set became polka-dotted. He sneezed one more time and a trail of soapy water appeared. He yelled as he slipped out the other door of the set.
The curtains closed and a sneeze could be heard. When the curtains parted again, Discord was leaning over a water basin with Owlowiscious watching from his perch. Discord hated this scene because he had to squirt his nose. With great reluctance, he put the nasal irrigator up his nose and squirted. He gagged, snorted, and coughed from doing so.
He snuffled, “It was that dragon…” He pulled out his handkerchief and blew his nose. He stuffed it back in his vest as he continued, “…who made a fool out of me. Uriah, get rid of him once and for all.”
Owlowiscious protested, “But, sir, he is a rare dragon. You can’t ask me to get rid of him!”
Discord glared at him and said, “If I can’t get his good luck, then no one can! Call in professional help so you wouldn’t bungle up like last time. I want that dragon eliminated .”
Owlowiscious hooted sadly, “Yes, sir.” He then flew off the stage just as the curtains were closing.
The curtains parted again to reveal a beaten-down shelter, sitting besides an ocean set. Angel Bunny and Gummy were shivering in the snow that covered the ground.
The bunny shivered, “Of all the places we could’ve had for a meeting spot, why did Uriah have to choose this one?!”
The owl then hooted as he landed near his friends. Owlowiscious said, “Thank you for being here. I didn’t know where else we could meet so that Saddleton doesn’t see us.”
Gummy licked his eyeball.
Angel said, “So what’s the problem?”
Owlowiscious said, “Saddleton wants me to get rid of a dragon that’s been bringing a toymaker and his daughter luck. Since the dragon won’t give his luck to my owner, Saddleton wanted me to eliminate him. I need you to help me get the dragon as far away from here as possible.”
Gummy stuck his tongue out toward the ships.
Angel said, “There’s a ship leaving for Chineigh tonight. Maybe we can get the dragon on there safely without Saddleton knowing he’s still kicking.”
Owlowiscious embraced his friends and said, “Oh, thank you, all! I don’t know what I’d do without you!”
The curtains closed and opened again to reveal the animals dragging a tied-up Spike, who pretended to be unconscious. Angel grunted, “Are you…sure that…using that…sleeping powder…was the only way…to get him on…the ship?”
Owlowiscious hooted, “He never would’ve gone otherwise.”
The animals brought Spike to Claude, who was playing the sea captain. Angel panted, “Here. We brought a lucky dragon to you.”
Claude chuckled wickedly, “Excellent!” He grabbed Spike and put him in a cage.
When Spike opened his eyes, he began to protest in a muffled voice, which was because of a gag over his mouth.
Owlowiscious asked, “So will you take him to Chineigh?”
Claude said, “Oh, I’m not taking him to Chineigh.” He pulled a lever and continued, “I’m taking you all with him!” He laughed as a net dropped on the animals.
The curtains closed and then parted to reveal the animals and Spike in separate cages. Spike narrated, “Oh, I hitched up with a lovely crew, I can tell you. There I was, setting sail for Chineigh on Hearth’s Warming Eve, leaving poor Bertha in the hands of that…Ugh! What will my family do without their lucky dragon on the hearth?”
Angel said, “We can hear you, you know.”
Owlowiscious hooted, “Oh, I know that Saddleton can be mean and spiteful, but I think that with some love, he can really change.”
Angel rolled his eyes and said, “Yeah. Like that will ever happen.”
Offstage, Discord whispered, “Watch it, Angel.”
Spike sighed, “What are we going to do?”
Just then, Gummy used his tongue to pick at the lock and to the animals’ surprise, his cage door opened!
Spike cried, “Great idea!” He then used his tail to pick at his lock. Angel and Owlowiscious did the same with a hairpin and a feather, respectively.
As soon as Spike and the animals got out, Angel remarked, “Now why didn’t I think of that?” He looked at a piece of a sail and gasped, “But I’m thinking of this! ” He gave Spike the sail while the bunny opened the window.
Spike said, “Wait…You’re not thinking that…?”
Angel gave him a smug look.
The set then rotated so that the outside of the “ship” was facing the left. Spike climbed onto the edge of the window while Angel held onto his side tightly.
Spike gulped, “Well, here goes nothing.”
He then jumped out, and with the help of Discord’s magic, it looked like Spike was using the sail to fly across the “sea”. Owlowiscious followed behind as he carried Gummy. When Spike and the animals reached the “mainland”, they fell onto the “snowy shore”.
Spike panted, “Is everyone okay?”
Gummy licked his eyeball.
Owlowiscious said, “We’re fine!”
Angel chortled, “That was amazing! I wish we could do that again!”
Spike smirked, “Oh, really? I thought you were dying to get to land the whole way there.”
Angel humphed, “Hmph! Says you.”
Spike asked Owlowiscious, “Are you coming back to the house with me?”
The owl shook his head, “I think I’d better keep my distance for now. He might want me back someday, but he’d probably have my head if I go back now.”
“Okay, if that’s what you want.” He then got up and raced across the stage.
Owlowiscious waved to him, “Good-bye! Set things right!”
Angel also waved to Spike as the bunny said, “Good luck! You’re going to need it!”
The curtains closed again and opened to reveal Spike in front of the house set. He narrated, “It was just before midnight when I got back. Home at last.” He entered the shop via the window set and saw a wedding gown. He said, “Huh? A wedding dress?” He then gasped, “She’s going to go through with it!”
Just then, a cuckoo clock chimed. Spike remarked, “It’s midnight. Midnight on Hearth’s Warming Eve. One hour in the year when magical things are supposed to happen. Oh, maybe this dragon’s still in luck.”
Discord, who was still offstage, used his magic to bring the toys to life. Spike cried, “What the-? The toys! They’re coming to life! Wow! What a sight!”
The toys then walked up to Spike and a foal doll said, “Oh! We’ve been seen!”
The toy elephant told her, “Now, you know the rules. Ponies must never see toys come to life.”
Spike told the toys, “Oh, don’t worry. I’m not a pony. I’m actually a-“
The foal doll interrupted, “Mama!”
“Oh, no! I’m not that, either! I’m a dragon.”
The elephant wiped its forehead and said, “Phew! Dragons don’t count.”
Spike said, “Let me be the first to say that I am happy to have you on my side.”
A toy pony said, “Aww…”
Spike asked, “You’re all going to help stop poor Bertha from marrying that mismatched skinflint, aren’t you?”
A toy soldier said, “We’d do anything for Caleb and Bertha!”
The toy pony said, “If it wasn’t for them, we’d be ugly.”
The foal doll said, “Mama!”
The elephant patted her head and said, “Hush-hush!”
The toy pony said, “But we haven’t much time.”
The toy boat said, “In a moment, we’ll all have to go to sleep again.”
The ball bounced around, saying, “It’s the rules! The rules! The rules! The rules!”
Spike said, “Yeah, yeah, I get you. So let’s get cracking! Um…any ideas?”
The elephant said, “Conference!”
The toys all huddled into a circle and started talking amongst themselves. When Spike saw that it was enough time, he whistled and said, “All right, break it up! Break it up! Enough talk! Let’s have a little action!”
The toy soldier said, “Righto! Follow me, lads!” He, the toy pony, and the toy ballerina went out the window.
Spike went out the door, crying out, “Wait!” He then opened the door and found the Pegasus gentlecolt sleeping outside. “Why are we bothering with that guy?”
The toys then jumped down and removed the gentlecolt’s hat and beard. Spike gasped, “Can it be? Edward Coltum? But how-?”
The elephant explained, “Allow me to explain. You see, Edward Coltum didn’t drown when his ship went down.”
The toy pony chimed in, “He built himself a raft and sailed to a beautiful, unchartered island. And he was there…”
“Uh, please, sir! He was there two years before a whaler found him and brought him back to Trottingham.”
Spike asked, “Then why the disguise?”
The cuckoo clock then chimed again.
The elephant said, “Uh-oh! Our time is up!”
The toys went through the door to the unlit half of the stage. Spike demanded, “Hey, get back here! I asked you a simple question and I expect a simple answer!”
Flash woke up and felt his chin. He said, “My beard! My wig!”
Spike told him, “Crocket Dragon’s onto you! Now speak up! The whole story.”
Flash sighed, “Well, I may as well tell you. I was shipwrecked, you see.”
“Look, I know all that: the raft and the island and the whaler. What I don’t understand is the whiskers and wig.”
“I came directly to her, but then I saw she’d gone blind. I realized it was my fault. I couldn’t just step back into her life after what I’d done to her.”
“Oh, come on, now! She needs you more than she needs six new eyes!”
“That’s what I hoped, but I had to be sure, you see, so I adopted the disguise. That way, I could be near her without anyone knowing. Oh, there were a thousand times I was on the verge of telling her, but…something always interrupted. And yesterday, I made up my mind. You remember, I came in to tell her, only to see her radiant face. Radiant because the most wonderful colt in the world asked her to be his wife. Those were her very words.”
Spike growled, “Arrgh! You…you…you nincompoop!” He crossed his arms and continued, “Paying attention to the words of a gushing female!”
“Oh, no. I could tell she meant it. And he has so much more to offer her. I’m still poor.”
Spike faced him and said, “’Poor’? Why, she wouldn’t trade the Bank of Trottingham for you!”
“I wish I could believe that, Crocket. I came back tonight for one last look at her. I…guess I just fell asleep just watching her.”
“Oh, you’re asleep, all right. Asleep all over. Why, you’re a romantic, sentimental colt. She doesn’t love anypony else but you!”
“If I could only believe that…”
The lights darkened and brightened again to show Spike and Flash at Twilight’s bedside. Spike gently nudged Twilight and said, “Bertha? Bertha? Wake up.” When Twilight opened her faded eyes, Spike said, “Oh, gently. Gently. It’s only me.”
Twilight felt for Spike and held his claw. She said, “Oh! Oh. Oh, Crocket. You’re back. You’re safe.” Spike slowly drew his claw away.
Twilight asked anxiously, “Crocket? Crocket!” When she felt Flash’s hoof, she said, “Oh. Oh?”
Flash put her hoof between his hooves and said, “Darling…”
“Am I dreaming?” The alicorn felt the Pegasus’s hoof and said, “I…Oh, Edward!” Her voice choked up as she continued, “Edward! Oh, Edward, you’re alive! You’re alive, Edward!”
Spike had to pretend to wipe away a tear.
Twilight continued, “Oh…You’re alive…Edward…Do you know…about me? I’m…”
Just then, another canvas appeared. This time, it was rolling upwards instead of downwards. This painting showed Twilight and Flash getting married in front of a priest. Flash’s singing could be heard from the audio player. As the painting presented itself, Flash’s voice sang, “Through my eyes…You will see the world as it should be…Through my eyes…And one day…you’ll be happy that you found the way…That you saw the world through my eyes…”
Offstage, Discord was very proud of this painting. He had some of the cast pose for the portrait, but he merely took two photos with a camera – one of them being photobombed by him. He then used the good picture to paint the lovely scene. When he was finished, he gushed at it and said that it was his finest work, albeit tied with the painting used for “The First Hearth’s Warming”.
The curtains then closed as the song ended.
The curtains opened to the happy scene. Shining Armor, Twilight, Flash, and Spike were all standing in front of a Hearth’s Warming tree, which was really just a prop. Spike narrated, “Oh, there never was such a Hearth’s Warming morning. Everypony was happier than larks. All except, uh…”
The door then burst open and Discord came in, shouting, “You had some nerve leaving me standing at the altar! What’s this? What’s this? What’s going on here anyway? And who is this?!”
Twilight said, “Oh, Mr. Saddleton. This is Edward Coltum, the colt I was engaged to before he went missing.”
“Well, you never told me you had a fiancé!”
Shining Armor said, “We assumed that he was lost at sea, but now he has returned to us!”
“Oh, that’s nice. Everypony gets a happy ending but me! I was the one who provided you with food and shelter! I was the one who gave a job! And now you have the nerve to turn your backs on me and leave me behind, even after all I’ve done for you…” His voice then broke as he said, “It’s not fair! I’m always the odd one out!” He then fell to the floor and collapsed into almost-real sobs. To Discord, this scene hit close to home, so he always got emotional when he acted it out. His tears were almost quite real.
Twilight said, “Oh, Mr. Saddleton! Mr. Saddleton, I’m so terribly sorry. But you see, my heart belongs to Edward. It always has.”
“Then why did you say ‘yes’ if you still loved him?”
“I thought he was gone!”
“But he came back, didn’t he?” He turned his back towards Twilight as he wept, “I’ll be alone…for the rest of my life...because no pony loves me!” He shed more tears at that moment.
“But we all love you, and there will always be a place in my heart for a fine, kind, noble, and handsome gentlecolt such as you.”
Discord sniffled, “’Fine’? ‘Kind’? ‘Noble’? And…and…’handsome’? Oh, I thought I’d never hear those words. You really think that?”
“But of course.” Twilight then kissed his cheek.
Discord jumped up and said in a merry tone, “Tell me, I feel good all over. Nopony ever said such nice things to me before.” He then flew around the stage and twirled as he said, “I feel light as a lark, happy as a hummingbird. Why? Why? I wonder why!”
When Discord landed on the floor, Spike told him, “Maybe because it’s Hearth’s Warming. It really is Hearth’s Warming.”
Discord laughed, “But of course! Of course!” He flew off the stage, shouting, “Happy Hearth’s Warming! Happy, happy Hearth’s Warming!”
Shining Armor told Spike, “Oh, Crocket, you’re the luckiest thing that ever happened to anypony!”
The audience clapped and cheered as the curtains closed. They opened again so that every actor bowed in order of importance in roles: the extras, the toys, Claude, Martingale, the animals, Flash Sentry, Discord, Twilight (who had taken off her contacts) and Shining Armor, and finally, Spike. Then they all bowed together and said, “Happy Hearth’s Warming, everypony!” The curtains then closed for the final time. Behind the curtains, everypony congratulated each other on a wonderful performance.
Discord walked up to Flash and Twilight and asked, “So, do you two have any plans for tonight?”
Twilight asked in a confused manner, “’Plans’?”
“Oh, come now, Twilight. You don’t mean say you don’t have feelings for this colt, do you?”
Both Flash and Twilight looked each other and said, “Feelings?”
Discord said, “Why, of course. You two obviously have a thing for each other.” Suddenly, he was pulled by the tail by a blue aura. He cried as he was being pulled away, “What-Hey! Hey! I’m just trying to get them to admit their feelings for one another!”
`Flash turned to Twilight and awkwardly asked, “So, um…What do you think that was about?”
“Oh, I think he’s trying to get us to admit we have feelings for each other.”
“Do you?”
“Do I what?”
Flash blushed, “Oh, never mind. It’s not that important, anyway.”
He turned to go, but was stopped by Twilight, who said, “Wait!”
He faced her and asked, “Yeah, Twilight?”
Twilight stuttered, “Er…I was wondering if you’d like to be a guard at the Castle of Friendship. Somepony had intruded once before and I want to avoid future incidents. Would you like to take up the position?”
Flash answered, “Uh…yeah, yeah! Of course I would.” He saluted before he continued, “It would be my honor, Your Highness.”
Twilight chuckled at that.
Discord, Cadance, and Fluttershy were watching them. Discord told the mares, “See? I told you they had a thing going on.”
Cadance said, “Yes, but it’s important that it grows over time.”
Fluttershy said, “She’s right. They need to take baby steps, Discord. Baby steps.”
Discord groaned, “Oh, fine, but I’ll be keeping a close eye on them.”
Cadance said, “You know what they say: a watched pot never boils.”
Both Cadance and Fluttershy laughed at this.
Spike began walking out to the lobby with the rest of the Mane Six.
Rainbow Dash praised, “Great performance, Spike.”
Pinkie Pie added, “Yeah, you really sold the crowd!”
Applejack said, “I wouldn’t be surprised if you became famous.”
Spike shrugged, “Yeah, it’d be nice, but I think it’d get too much for me.”
He then opened the door to the lobby and was greeted with a mass of adoring ponies.
“Spike, you’re great!” a stallion said.
“Superb!” a critic praised.
“Would you like to sign my autograph?” a young filly asked.
Spike took a pen and said, “Sure.”
Rarity said to him, “It seems like you’re a celebrity already, Spikey-Wikey.”
Spike agreed. Even though the celebrity life wasn’t for him, he loved it when he was appreciated every so often. But being loved by fans was nothing compared to being loved by his best friends.
Author's Note
Happy Hearth’s Warming, folks! I hope you liked this story!