Insomnia

by JJ GingerHooves

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2038

Twilight has trouble sleeping one night.

Twilight has trouble sleeping one night and goes to great lengths in order to sleep. This won't end well...

Published 2012-06-05 04:44:02 UTC
Last updated 2012-06-05 04:44:02 UTC

Chapter 1

“Changelings may vaguely resemble Ponies but they are actually more closely related to insects.” Twilight scribbled down her notes on parchment, reading out loud as she wrote. After the changeling invasion of Equestria, she deemed it fit to document everything about the species in order to prepare future generations for the threat they posed.   It was night and Spike was already fast asleep, tired as usual from his tasks. This allowed Twilight to study in peace as she sat at her desk. Several books were piled up on the desk, which she had used as sources to support her research.   Owloysius was balanced upon his perch, staring at Twilight as she wrote. By now the owl was used to Twilight’s magic, which currently held her quill aloft and manipulated it to write words.   The whole library was dark with the exception of Twilight’s desk. She had a lit a candle which emitted enough light to allow her to read.   Twilight enjoyed times like this and she appreciated them even more since she had arrived in Ponyville; they had become a rarity. She enjoyed the serene atmosphere and loved to learn more facts about the world. She craved it, in fact.   However it was getting late and she knew that she needed some rest. She finished her last sentence and dabbed her quill in a tissue (also held in the air by her magic) in order to dry it. Always the multi-tasker, she also closed the ink container with a cap so its contents wouldn’t dry out.   She could’ve left there and then but she liked to be organised: she stacked up the books she had used into a neater pile and placed the quill to the left of her parchment, with her ink to the right.   She nodded to herself in satisfaction, “That’ll do.” She then looked at her faithful owl companion, “Goodnight Owloysius, don’t get up to too much trouble.” She smiled sweetly and then blew out the candle, covering the entirety of the room in darkness.   “Hoot.” Owloysius said simply, watching Twilight leave the room.   Before climbing into bed, Twilight needed to brush her teeth. She entered the library’s bathroom and walked up to the sink. The bathroom was quite small, being able to only just hold two full grown ponies inside. Despite this it had all the necessities: a toilet, a sink and a shower. Above the sink was a small shelf that held toothbrushes, soap and toothpaste. Above the shelf was a simple rectangular mirror.   She levitated her purple toothbrush and the toothpaste tube in the air in front of her. She compressed the tube, squeezing out white toothpaste that graced the top of the toothbrush. She had picked the toothpaste herself, after hours of researching for the best of course.   She put the toothpaste tube in its place and turned on the cold tap with magic. Water flowed out into the sink and down into the pipes below. She floated her toothbrush in the stream of water, dampening it. She then turned off the tap; she knew how much water was carelessly lost through brushing teeth.   She put the toothbrush in her mouth and started to rigorously clean her teeth. Her mouth began to fill up with foam from the toothpaste and her tongue started to tingle a little.   The bottom set of teeth were brushed first and Twilight used the mirror as a guide to make sure she got all the right places. Once she was satisfied with cleaning her bottom teeth, she floated the toothbrush out of her mouth and spat out the foamy contents of her mouth into the sink. She then resumed with brushing.   The standard time spent for brushing teeth was around two minutes. Twilight however, spent four minutes. You could never be too careful, especially with teeth.   After four minutes had passed, Twilight rinsed her mouth and her brush with water from the tap and neatly put her brushing utensils back where they should be.   She grinned, admired her teeth in the mirror. “White as usual. You’ve done it again Twilight!” she giggled, leaving the bathroom and gently closing the door behind her.   Once she arrived at her bed, she snuggled herself in. The bed sheets protectively covered her and combined with the mattress, made for a cosy place to sleep.   Closing her eyes, she began to go to sleep. Tomorrow would come very soon since it always felt as if time sped up when you were asleep.    However, tonight would be the exception.   Today had been a particular scorcher and it seemed that some of the heat from the day had lingered around to stay in the night. This certainly made Twilight feel as if she was sleeping in a sauna.  She tossed and she turned, trying to get past the uncomfortable temperature but it became too much to bear. Still, this wasn’t a problem. She simply threw off her bed sheets and kept on sleeping. Job done. Simple.   Except even the simplest of things could go horribly wrong.   Now she felt too cold. And strangely...she felt naked somehow. Despite the fact she never normally wore clothes. It was an odd sensation and she didn’t like it. So she covered herself once more in her bed sheets.   Then the heat returned.   Again, Twilight had the urge to dispose of her cover. And so she did. But now she felt weird again! This situation was clearly unwinnable.   “I just got to grin and bear it.” She thought to herself, her patience wearing thin. She decided to sleep without bed sheets, just for tonight anyway.  Now she could finally sleep. Sure, she felt strange but it was better than not sleeping in a bed at all.   Minutes then passed by. Too many minutes. She was still wide awake. Fortunately she had another solution: counting sheep. That always worked, right?   Lying on her back, she imagined a plain grassy field with the odd daisy within. A simple brown fence stood in the middle of the field. She then imagined a sheep frolicking over to the fence and jumping over it.   “One-“she counted but then paused, “Silly Twilight. If you take into account all the factors, a sheep that size could never jump over a fence that big with such ease!” she whispered to herself and made the corrections to the fence in her mind.  She resumed imagining and counting, reciting the numbers quietly. She had reached seventy and still didn’t feel sleepy enough. She began to grow worried. What if she never slept at all? Then she couldn’t do her research with enough efficiency!  But becoming worried only made the situation worse! Her mind would become too active but she found it increasingly hard to return it to a state of calm. She focused on counting sheep again.  “Give it time...” she thought in order to reassure herself and continued. At the hundred marks, a huge obese sheep stumbled into her mind. It wobbled to the fence and tried to leap over it. It failed, succeeding only in hitting its chin against the barrier. It then groaned and flailed about uselessly on the floor, failing to get up again.   Twilight suddenly shot upright, rubbing her head. She quickly dispersed the random thought out of her head.  “Okay...so sheep didn’t work...” she racked through her mind, thinking of solutions, “Oh! I can always have a late night walk. That’ll tire me out for sure!”  She crept out of bed and tip-hoofed down the stairs. She used her magic to open the door silently and close it behind her.  Once outside, she paced back and forth repeatedly. Magic glowed around her horn, dimly illuminating the way forward.  “Now calm down Twilight. You’re clearly too excited to get to sleep. So a nice walk will settle things all nicely...” she spoke to herself.   She felt her eyelids begin to twitch erratically but she just told herself it was due to lack of sleep and the reading she had done today.   She looked at the horizon in the distance. To her horror, it seemed to be lighter than it was before. “Morning’s coming Twilight. Must. Get. Some. SLEEP.” She fiddled with her hair randomly and started to trot.   “If I don’t sleep my whole routine will be ruined tomorrow! And that can’t happen...nononononono.” everytime she spoke, only bad things seemed to come from her mouth. This worked in making her even more of a wreck.    She left the library behind, setting upon a path. She hadn’t decided where she’d go. She didn’t even care! As long as she got tired.   Everypony seemed to be asleep so Twilight was the only one out and about. She trotted and she trotted, taking no notice of her surroundings. A single thought flowed through her mind:  “Sleepsleepsleepsleepsleep.”  Yep, she had definitely lost it. If she even had it before going outside anyway.   This single train of thought was interrupted when Twilight spotted something. Or somepony in fact. By the Ponyville fountain, a single chestnut coloured stallion was stood gazing into the water that flowed endlessly.   “Ooo somepony to talk to! That’ll tire me out! Yes...” Twilight put on a massive grin and headed towards the stallion. “Maybe he’ll be my new friend...”  Clearly he had not noticed her presence because he didn’t turn around when she was behind him. So she had to make her presence known herself:  “Hi there!” she said, grinning manically. The stallion jumped around, staring into the face of insanity itself. He did his best not to scream, squeaking feebly instead.   “Er...h-hi...?” he said, petrified.   “Whatcha doing?” Twilight asked innocently enough but her appearance alone had ruined all chances of having a nice, normal conversation. She couldn’t remove the wide smile from her face and her pupils had shrunk to small dots. Her eyes were wide and her mane was a mess.   “Uh...just thinking...” he stammered, but was cut off by Twilight before he could finish.  “So you can’t get to sleep too?! Me neither! Isn’t weird?! This must be fate or something!” she blabbered on. The poor stallion started to shake in fear now.  “Do...do you need help?” he bit his lip hard, desperately wanting to be back in a cosy bed now where he was safe. She clearly didn’t notice the terror he was experiencing because she only seemed to become creepier.   “YES! HELP!” Twilight suddenly grabbed the stallion’s head and pulled his face closer to hers so that their noses touched, “I need your help! We can sleep together!”  The stallion gulped, unable to avoid the haunting gaze of Twilight. This type of incident only happened to ponies in the news or in stories. “Err...I’m...not into that kind of thing...sorry...please don’t hurt me!” he pleaded, scrambling wildly in an attempt to get away. But alas, it was a useless gambit.   “Hurt you?” Twilight began to laugh out loud...it sounded way too creepy for the stallion’s taste, “Why would I hurt you?! No...we’ll have to be gentle with this...to relax...”   The terrified pony had had enough of this madness, “Stop trying to seduce me!” he cried and fiercely head butted Twilight with all of his might. He was an earth pony, so the force of his attack was quite strong. Twilight released her hold of the stallion as she got smacked in the face, who promptly fled for his life.   She stumbled back, beginning to get dizzy. Her head started to throb and her vision began to darken and become clouded. After bumbling about for a few seconds, she finally passed out and collapsed onto the ground.

  A crowd of ponies had surrounded the unconscious unicorn, all curious to see what had happened. Applejack and Rainbow Dash stood in front of the crowd, looking down at their friend.  A huge bruise covered her face and even her nose seemed to be broken. Drool could be seen sliding out of her mouth. At least she looked peaceful now.  “Judging by that guy’s story...she went crazy again didn’t she?” Rainbow Dash mused, looking at Applejack, who shot the rainbow maned mare a glance right back.  “Remember what we all agreed on Rainbow, we must never discuss these incidents. Ever.” She stated firmly.   “Yeah yeah...I’ll grab the water and towel.” Rainbow muttered, flying off casually and shaking her head in dismay.  