Seeing The Light

by SuperPinkBrony12

Rating: everyone
Tags: Diamond Tiara, Slice of Life, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Starlight Glimmer
Length: 4810

Starlight Glimmer is still feeling guilty about what she's done, and what she tried to do. But a visit from a reformed bully will help her to learn more about herself, and about forgiveness.

(Takes place immediately after the events of "The Cutie Re-Mark". Proofread by Smitty91.)

Starlight Glimmer should be happy. She has been forgiven for her past misdeeds, and has a promising future as a student to the Princess of Friendship.

But, she's not.

Despite her efforts to hide it, Starlight feels that she has been forgiven too easily. She shouldn't be forgiven at all.

While reflecting on these feelings, and deciding whether or not to tell somepony about them, Starlight recieves a visit from a filly that once trotted a similar path. And this visit, will teach Starlight a powerful lesson about forgiveness, and atonement.

Published 2016-01-06 03:10:09 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-06 03:10:09 UTC

Your Past Is Not Today

"Forgiveness". It was a simple word, and one that Starlight Glimmer knew the definition of. Heck, anypony with access to a dictionary could look up the word and its meaning.

But it was the very definition of the word that troubled Starlight Glimmer to no end. Forgiveness meant that your past misdeeds were acknowledged and addressed, then wiped away. It allowed you to start over with a blank slate, free to redefine yourself, hopefully for the better.

However, Starlight wasn't quite so sure she truly deserved to be forgiven. What she'd attempted to do could very well be considered treason, assuming that one Sonic Rainboom really was so important to the future of Equestria. And if Twilight Sparkle had not reached out to her, extending a helping hoof, Starlight shuddered to think that she would've destroyed the time travel spell for good. Leaving herself and her then sworn enemy stranded in the past forever.

Yet, now Starlight was in a position that would make anypony jealous. The student of Equestria's newest and arguably most popular princess.

So, why wasn't she happy?

Well, that was a ridiculous question. Starlight Glimmer knew the answer off the top of her head. Twilight may have said she was forgiven, but Starlight herself wasn't so convinced, even after a visit to the very village she had controlled as a police state.

"What's wrong with me?" Starlight Glimmer said to herself, staring at her reflection in a mirror "I've got friends, a teacher," but she frowned and then sighed "And a power that I don't understand." Of course, Starlight knew her reflection couldn't talk back. It was all just a waste of time.

Trying her best to put on a happy face, Starlight Glimmer trotted into the very room that she had used not too long ago to set everything into motion. And sitting in the chair that matched her cutie mark, was Twilight Sparkle herself. At once, Starlight felt herself wanting to tremble. Sure, Twilight may not be as commanding as Princess Celestia or Princess Luna, but she was still a princess. A princess that could easily have Starlight thrown in jail if she so desired, and to be honest, Starlight wasn't sure why Twilight hadn't done that yet.

Twilight sensed Starlight Glimmer's distress, and did her best to calm her young student's nerves. "Is there something troubling you, my faithful student?" she asked, hoping that the tone with which she delivered the question sounded as warm and welcoming as Princess Celestia's.

"It's.... nothing." Starlight Glimmer replied with a shake of her head. She was terrible at lying.

However, rather than force Starlight to speak up, Twilight simply said to her "Are you absolutely sure? I only want to help you, but I can't do that if you won't tell me what's wrong."

"I said it's nothing!" Starlight Glimmer snapped, causing Twilight Sparkle to recoil into a pose similar to the one she'd ended up in the last time Starlight had lost her temper. That quickly caused Starlight Glimmer's mood to change. "I'm sorry, teacher," she apologized, bowing her head in respect "I've just been so frustrated since this whole teacher/student thing began."

"Do you wanna talk about it?" Twilight asked "There's nopony else around, just the two of us. Whatever you tell me doesn't have to leave this room.

"I want to tell you, but I don't think you'll understand. You haven't been where I've been." Starlight Glimmer said sadly. How could she expect the princess of friendship to know about forgiveness for your past misdeeds?

Twilight realized what Starlight was talking about. But she could also tell by the way Starlight was conducting herself, that she was too ashamed to open up about it. And no amount of probing or pressing would make her talk. "If you don't want to talk about it to me, that's fine," Twilight said reluctantly, and hopped down from her chair, heading for the door. "I'm going out to talk to Princess Celestia about arranging for some guards to protect my castle."

"Ah yes, I was wondering why it was so easy to sneak into your castle undetected," Starlight Glimmer chuckled "I just thought your guards were on break or something. If I knew your castle was unguarded, I probably would've snuck in much sooner."

"I suppose it was pretty silly of me not to have some sort of security system at least," Twilight replied "At least that's one thing that will change for the better now. Oh, and I feel like I should mention this to you now, Starlight. I am going to have to tell Princess Celestia what happened, and what you tried to do," this made Starlight Glimmer gulp "I'll do my best to put in a good word for you, but you'll probably have to stand trial for what you did. I'm sorry, but I can't defy the will of Princess Celestia, not even for you. It just wouldn't be fair to everypony else."

"Well, even if I go to jail, would I still be your student? Assuming I ever get released?" Starlight Glimmer asked nervously.

"Of course," Twilight smiled "And don't worry, Princess Celestia tends to be very forgiving. I'm sure she won't give you too harsh of a sentence. In fact, why don't you come meet her? Maybe if she sees how sorry you are, she'll feel even more inclined to believe there's good in you."

But Starlight only shook her head "No thanks, I don't know if I have the courage to face Princess Celestia right now. I'd much rather wait here until I am turned over to suffer whatever punishment she wishes to inflict on me."

"If that is what you wish," Twilight replied, and led Starlight out of the map room, locking it shut behind her "Just to be safe, the map room is off limits until I come back. I'm not sure if it's possible to tamper with it without a precise spell, but I'd rather not take my chances. No offense."

"Hey, at least you're learning from your mistakes." Starlight said to her teacher, and she reluctantly watched as Twilight trotted out the castle door, leaving Starlight alone in the empty halls.

Starlight was not alone for long, when the castle doors suddenly burst open again. But instead of Twilight, Princess Celestia, and an escort of royal guards, Starlight was greeted with the presence of a filly with a coat the most dazzling shade of magenta Starlight had ever seen. Her mane and tail seemed a pale violet in color, with a few white streaks, and her cornflower blue eyes currently held a look of amazement. But what really caught Starlight's attention, was the filly's cutie mark, which seemed to be a tiara. Now that was a cutie mark that you didn't see very often, especially amongst earth ponies.

"Who are you?" Starlight nervously asked the filly. Despite now living in Ponyville, Starlight had yet to get to know everypony that lived there.

"My name is Diamond Dazzle Tiara," the filly replied, and eyeballed Starlight "I was told Princess Twilight recently took on a student of her own, and I knew I just had to come and see it for myself. You wouldn't happen to know where I could find that pony, would you?"

"Actually, you're looking at the very pony," Starlight told Diamond Tiara "I am Starlight Glimmer, but you can call me Starlight if you really want."

Diamond Tiara's mouth dropped open in shock, and hung there for a moment or two. When she finally regained her composure, Diamond Tiara said "You're the student? I thought you'd be younger, more around my age. I always thought these master/student things worked with the wise old master teaching the young and promising student everything they know."

"Well, you can't believe everything you read in fairy tales." Starlight giggled briefly, before she frowned.

The frown did not go unnoticed by Diamond Tiara "What's the matter, Miss. Starlight? Aren't you happy? Do you have ANY idea how much of a honor it is to be the student of Princess Twilight? I wish I could be just like you."

But Starlight only shook her head "Trust me, no you don't. I've done some pretty despicable things, and I'm actually probably going to go jail because of them."

"Come on, it can't be that bad," Diamond Tiara said innocently "I mean, there's a rumor flying around that Twilight's student tried to travel back in time and rewrite the course of history. But that's ridiculous! Miss. Cheerilee says time travel is all but impossible, even for unicorns. And even then, it's usually forbidden by Princess Celestia. Pretty good story, right? And I thought ponies bursting into song and dance at random intervals was ridiculous. Sometimes, I wonder where ponies come up with these kinds of stories."

Diamond Tiara laughed upon stating such a belief, and was surprised when Starlight did not laugh with her. She only hung her head in silence, and looked at the ground as if she expected something to pop up out of it. "You're serious? You actually traveled back in time?!" Diamond Tiara realized.

"Unfortunately, it's true. All the more reason why I'm likely going to end up in prison," Starlight said glumly "You're lucky you're just a filly. You probably have more friends than you know what to do with."

Now it was Diamond Tiara's turn to frown "Actually, I don't have that many friends. In fact, just a few months ago, I probably couldn't say I had any friends at all. And I really could've used some."

"What do you mean? I thought friendship was one of the most wonderful things in a young pony's life?" Starlight asked "It's something I wished I hadn't neglected because of one bad experience."

"It's a long story, and it's not one I'm proud of," Diamond Tiara said unhappily. A faint tear seemed to trying to edge its way out, but Diamond Tiara won't let it form. "Have you ever wished you could be somepony else?" she asked Starlight.

"In recent days, probably more times than I can remember." Starlight replied, though she wondered what that had to do with anything.

"Well, I have, or at least I used to do so," Diamond Tiara explained "And it all has to do with my mother, Spoiled Rich."

"Spoiled Rich? She doesn't sound nice at all." Starlight commented, just the mere mention of the name gave off a bad vibe for reasons Starlight was certain she didn't want to know.

"That's an understatement," Diamond Tiara replied reluctantly, as a hint of fear seemed to take hold of her for a moment "For as long as I can remember, she was always pressuring me into acting bratty and selfish. The worst part is, I actually went along with it. Instead of trying to tell somepony about it, I lashed out at everypony around me."

"You're just a filly, you couldn't have known what your mother was doing to you was wrong," Starlight said to Diamond Tiara "At least you had an excuse for your behavior, which is more than I can say for myself."

Diamond Tiara shook her head "But that's the thing, I had NO excuse for what I did! I didn't have to go along with it, but I convinced myself it was the only way to get my mother to actually be proud of me. I bullied everypony I couldn't control, including three fillies I once dismissed as mere 'Blank Flanks'. But the worst part of it all, was when I lost the flag carrying ceremony for the Equestria Games, to Scootaloo and her friends. I thought by exploiting the fact that Scootaloo hadn't flown yet, I could drive a wedge between them. But it only made their friendship stronger. And when I came back home from that defeat, my mother told me she was very disappointed in me, and not just because I lost."

"Why?" Starlight asked.

Diamond Tiara sighed unhappily, and looked all around, as if she feared her mother might appear at any second. "She said that even a rich pony knows better than to insult somepony for something they have no control over. Making fun of a pegasus that can't fly, would be no different than if somepony else picked on me because I wasn't good with my earth pony magic. In that moment, I realized that it was pointless. No matter what I did, my mother would never love me. So I lashed out even more, I didn't care who I attacked or what I did. I was convinced that nopony truly cared about me, or was willing to show me a better way. When I lost Silver Spoon, I thought my whole world had ended. But then the same fillies I'd teased and bullied to no end reached out to me, simply out of the kindness of their hearts. They gave me the courage I needed to stand up to my mother, and tell her off for the way she'd treated me over the years. And since then, my life has been looking better than ever. All thanks to The Cutie Mark Crusaders."

Starlight was amazed at what she'd heard, she wouldn't have believed it was possible for a filly to experience so much at such a young age. And this caused her to frown even more. "At least you realized your mistakes, and corrected them before it was too late," she said glumly "I didn't listen to what should've been common sense."

"But you had to have had a change of heart at some point," Diamond Tiara replied "Otherwise, you wouldn't be standing here right now. Besides, it can't be that bad compared to what I've done, right?"

"Oh, I wish," Starlight said ominously, and quickly turned away in the hopes that Diamond Tiara wouldn't see her cry. The moment of sadness faded as quickly as it had arrived, and with a half hearted smile she said "Follow me, and you will learn of my horrible past."

Suspecting nothing, Diamond Tiara followed Starlight through the hallways, and into the guest bedroom. Except now, the guest bedroom seemed to have been hastily redesigned, in order to properly reflect the appearance of the pony that now occupied it.

Starlight stopped in front of an old dresser that had clearly seen better days, and pulled out a couple of photos. The first one she showed to Diamond Tiara, depicted a much younger looking Starlight Glimmer, alongside a colt with an orange coat not unlike Diamond Tiara's classmate, Snails. But unlike Snails, the colt depicted in the picture not only had a fiery reddish-orange mane and tail, but also lacked a cutie mark.

"This is Sunburst, my childhood friend," Starlight explained, as her tone of voice seemed to lose its confidence, replaced by one of regret "He and I were really close."

Immediately upon looking at the smiling young Starlight and Sunburst shown in the photo, Diamond Tiara asked Starlight "Was he your boyfriend?"

"No, it was nothing like that. He and I were only friends." Starlight replied, but without any hint of humor (even briefly) for such a question.

"Sorry, but from the way you mentioned how close you were, it sounded like he was your special somepony." Diamond Tiara apologized.

"Well, maybe a romantic relationship between the two of us might have developed, if I didn't let him getting his cutie mark before me cause me to reject friendship. It actually made me despise cutie marks, because I foolishly thought a cutie mark was what took Sunburst away from me," Starlight glumly admitted "I know that sounds petty and childish, but sadly it's true. And it's what led me down a dark path that ended with this." she then swapped the photo of her and Sunburst, for one depicting her close to her current appearance. But her cutie mark was replaced by a black equal sign, as she stood in front of a group of smiling ponies with a similar mark. All of the other ponies had their coat colors dulled, and their mane and tails trimmed to look exactly the same, but Starlight Glimmer stood out as bright and cheerful, despite the shared mark.

"Take a good look at that photo," Starlight instructed Diamond Tiara "Tell me what stands out the most."

"Everypony has the same cutie mark, obviously." Diamond Tiara quickly replied.

"True, but look harder, especially at the smiles." Starlight insisted.

Despite seeing little reason to do so, Diamond Tiara shrugged, and concentrated on the smiles depicted in the photo. After minutes of careful observation, she began to notice something. "The smiles, they aren't natural. They feel like the smile I forced myself to wear until I grew hate to it, and myself."

"Such was the way of that little village of my own design," Starlight Glimmer said, by now her half-smile was gone completely "I convinced ponies to give up their cutie marks, and trained them to shun individuality. If anypony tried to upset the system, they were exposed, captured, and brainwashed into obedience. But the whole time, I held onto my cutie mark. Because I wanted to be better than everypony else. I wanted friendships that couldn't be taken away because of a cutie mark. And in my anger, I failed to realize the friendships I made, were not friendships at all. But my story doesn't end there."

"You're going to tell me how you and Princess Twilight, met aren't you?" Diamond Tiara asked, to which Starlight quickly nodded.

"At first I couldn't believe it when an alicorn princess showed up in my village, but when I learned she was the 'Princess of Friendship' I knew I had to win her over to my cause," Starlight narrated "But in the end, Twilight and her friends exposed my secret, and had me chased out of the village by the same ponies who'd pledged themselves to my equality. Rather than realize what should've been obvious, I ran away. And from then all, I could think about was revenge. I spent months stalking Twilight, until at last I had the means at my disposal to enact my revenge."

"That's where all those time travel rumors came from, isn't it?" Diamond Tiara realized.

Starlight nodded, then continued "Oh, I wish they were only rumors. But it's true. I modified a spell from Star Swirl The Bearded to travel back in time, and ensure Twilight and her friends never met. At last, Twilight grabbed me when she sucked into a time bubble, and showed me a future in which Equestria was gone, replaced by a barren wasteland."

"And that's when you realized what your actions were causing?" Diamond Tiara asked.

Instead of a yes, Starlight shook her head "I'd be lying if I said that was true. I didn't believe what I saw for a second, I thought Twilight was trying to trick me. Then, I showed her my past, and decided I'd let her know too much. I was actually going to rip the spell apart, leaving us both stranded in the past forever. But rather than destroy me, Twilight reached out and offered me a helping hoof. I wanted to reject it, I wanted to tell her she was full of it for thinking friendship could solve my problems. But I accepted her offer, and we returned to the present. And instead of punishing me, as I thought for sure she was going to do, she took me on as her student."

"Is that really how you became Princess Twilight's student?" Diamond Tiara asked Starlight, sounding rather skeptical "I always thought you had to do something really impressive to become a student of a princess."

"Well, I suppose the conditions for becoming a student are different, depending on what princess you're dealing with," Starlight replied "However, before I could become Twilight's student, I had to go back to the village, and apologize to the ponies I'd wronged. I expected them to be angry with me, maybe even upset, and was prepared to be attacked and heckled for the lies I'd fed them. But that's not what happened, they forgave me, and even offered to let me stay in the village if I really wanted to. They'd even left the cottage I used to brainwash ponies standing, albeit turned into a museum. In that moment, all I wanted to do was cry. I shouldn't have been forgiven!"

"What do you mean you shouldn't have? You realized your mistakes." Diamond Tiara told Starlight.

"Only after years of inflicting pain and suffering on other ponies, and even trying to change history just for the sake of revenge," Starlight said, her voice a mix of anger and sadness "At least with you, you were in a situation where just about any filly would've done the same. You didn't know who to turn to for help. I had many ponies that were willing to befriend me after Sunburst left, but I rejected all of their offers, simply because I thought a cutie mark would take them away! And to make matters worse, I'm not even sure I know what MY cutie mark really means! All I can do is take away cutie marks and put them back on."

"But what about the time travel spell, Miss. Starlight?" Diamond Tiara asked "That was something you did with your own magic, right?"

"No, Star Swirl The Bearded did most of the work," Starlight admitted "I simply adjusted the spell a little bit. The only real magic I displayed, was when I was trying to out maneuver Twilight, or trying to keep her from interfering with my revenge scheme. And they were all spells I'd learned and practiced through years of studying. And considering Twilight was able to copy my spells after observing them just once, that's hardly an accomplishment. You probably understood what your cutie mark meant from the moment you got it."

But to Starlight's surprise, Diamond Tiara responded with "Actually, for the longest time, I didn't. It took running the school paper to realize my cutie mark symbolized my talent for getting other ponies to do what I wanted. And at first, I used it poorly. It wasn't until The Cutie Mark Crusaders reached out to me, that I got the chance to realize that my talent could be used to help other ponies, and not just myself. That discovery actually gave me the confidence to stand up to my mother, and tell her off for how she was treating me."

"Still, at least you actually understand what your cutie mark means. Me, I'm still unsure of what it could possibly mean, other than my ability to take away cutie marks, or put them back on. An ability I've sworn never to touch ever again." Starlight said, tears streaming down her cheek.

Just seconds after Starlight started crying, Diamond Tiara spoke up "You know something, Miss. Starlight?" she asked softly.

"What?" Starlight asked, sniffling slightly.

"You remind me a lot of myself, especially ever since I turned over a new leaf," Diamond Tiara told Starlight, as she slowly approached the unicorn "I know that if anything took Silver Spoon away from me, I'd do anything if it meant I could bring her back. I'm not sure if I'd go so far as to travel through time just to do it, but then again I'm not a unicorn, so I couldn't even if I wanted to. But do you want to know what I've come to realize in the time since I've changed?" Starlight didn't answer, she just nodded her head slightly "Like it or not, we can't change the past, not even with time travel. Our past misdeeds will still live on in our memories. But we don't have let to our past define us, we should learn from it, so that we can become a better pony for tomorrow."

"But your life is looking better than ever now that you've changed," Starlight replied sadly, wiping the tears from her eyes "I'll be lucky if Sunburst even remembers me, to say nothing of what Princess Celestia will probably do when she finds out what I tried to do."

"I may have changed, but I'm still facing struggles with my life," Diamond Tiara said seriously "Miss. Cheerilee actually talked with the other members of the school board, and got Mother kicked off. Since then, Mother hasn't really spoken to me all that much, especially since Father is keeping a close eye on her. And there some ponies who still think my reformation is just a ruse, because they remember times when I looked like I was nice, but really wasn't. As for Sunburst, if you really miss him that much, find out where he lives and write a letter to him. Or maybe even pay him a visit. If you two were really such good friends when you were young, I doubt he'll have forgotten about you."

"You really think so?" Starlight asked.

"I know so," Diamond Tiara nodded "You've made some pretty bad mistakes, Miss. Starlight. But you're actually better than you think you are. If you were truly irredeemable, you would still think you've done nothing wrong. The fact that you're regretful for what you've done is a sign that you can still change, before it's too late. But only if you want to change. Nopony else can make that decision for you."

"I want to change, I know I do. But it seems so hard, especially when I feel like I don't deserve forgiveness." Starlight replied.

"It won't be easy, but as long as you're willing to change, nothing can stop you," Diamond Tiara smiled, as she put a hoof around Starlight "And if you're still struggling to figure out what your cutie mark means, I think I know just the fillies who can help you."

After a couple of hours spent hanging out with Diamond Tiara (as well as meeting her friends, The Cutie Mark Crusaders), Starlight returned to the castle. As soon as she walked through the doors, she found her teacher waiting for her with important news.

"Ah, there you are, Starlight," Twilight said, as she noticed the smile on her student's face "I was wondering where you'd run off to."

"My apologies, teacher," Starlight replied, bowing in respect "Next time, I shall leave a note. But I was spending some time with a new friend. So, how did the meeting with Princess Celestia go?"

Twilight cleared her throat, and told Starlight "Well, you're still going to have to stand trial for what you've done, and for what you attempted to do."

"I see." Starlight said glumly, the smile on her face vanishing in an instant.

"But, there is some good news," Twilight continued "I will testify on your behalf at your trial. And Princess Celestia specifically told me that she likely won't give you the harshest penalty possible, though some jail time can't be completely ruled out. In the meantime, you can remain my student, so long as you are willing to learn about the magic of friendship, and listen to what I have to teach you. I won't lie and claim it will be all sunshine and rainbows, there will be times when we won't see eye to eye. But, if at any point I catch you reverting back to your old ways, or trying to mess with the map or ponies cutie marks, I will inform Princess Celestia. And I doubt she'll be as forgiving then."

"Don't worry, Twilight," Starlight reassured her teacher "I have no intention of ever betraying your trust. I'm ready and willing to learn."

Twilight smiled "Good, because there is much you have to learn. But already, I can sense you are making progress with one of your most important lessons."

"And what lesson is that?" Starlight asked.

"Forgiveness of course," Twilight replied with a warm smile "It is one of the most difficult things to learn, and even more difficult to master. But it is arguably one of the greatest parts about friendship. It's just as important as laughter, honesty, kindness, generosity, or loyalty."

Author's Note

I present something that I'm actually surprised hasn't already been done. I've been on this site every day since "The Cutie Re-Mark" aired, but have yet to see any fanfics involving Starlight Glimmer and Diamond Tiara interacting. Considering how popular Diamond Tiara has been since she became reformed. this kind of surprises me.

Oh well, maybe that will change.

I apologize for this taking so long to come out, since the publishing date states I had this ready since mid December, but it took a long time for me to hear back from my proofreader.