Last Great Mysteries

Chapters

Watch Party
Showtime
Knock 'em Dead
Kopis
Brunch
Operation

Watch Party

“My name is Daring Do and I have written six of the top twenty best-selling novels of all time under the pen name A. K. Yearling. I have traveled the world, saved ancient art, won an Olympic bronze medal in javelin, and even thwarted the plans of the infamous drug lord, Auitzotl. Even though I live this life of mystery and adventure, I still ask for more out of this world. That’s why I assembled my team: Deathtrap Daisy, Blazing Banner, and Constable Courage to help uncover the great mysteries of this pale blue dot. This is Earth’s Enigmas.”

"Ohmygoshohmygoshomygoshomygoshomygosh! Guys! Get in here it’s already started!"

Rainbow Dash hardly ever watched TV, but for this particular occasion she managed to go out of her way to find the channel number for the History Channel in HD. Before she saw the commercial for Earth’s Enigmas, Rainbow was perfectly content with swapping back and forth between the ESPN and American Heroes for her entire life. She barely knew the History Channel existed.

In this world, Twilight wasn’t there to introduce Rainbow to A. K. Yearling’s novels. Rainbow found interest in her books the old fashioned way—by being forced to read them for a group project in school.

“Didn’t they have any cider or whole milk at the store when you went?” said Applejack as she set a bottle of unnatural looking liquid on the carpet. Blue raspberry soda was nectar of the gods to Rainbow Dash.

“Most people prefer to eat their meals AJ, not drink them,” remarked Rainbow without shifting gaze from the television.

Sunset Shimmer was the last to walk in the living room with an unreasonable amount of popcorn, especially without Pinkie Pie around. “You’re one to talk with your blue raspberry soda, Rainbow Dash. In fact, maybe I should just take it off your hands for ya. Your coaches probably want your fridge stocked with bottled water and Muscle Milk for the rest of the season,” said Sunset playfully envying the sugary beverage.

“Hey! We use whey protein now, and you can finish off the sparkling water Rarity left in the fridge,” replied Rainbow actually considering if it was the right move to treat herself tonight.

“We did a lot of weird things in Equestria but we never drank that peroxide. So what’s Daring Do’s first mission? I’m still getting used to saying that. She was sort of a recluse back in Equestria and she never dropped the pseudonym."

Despite her prior objections, Applejack popped open a bottle of the “nectar of the gods.” “Media must have gotten to ‘er I guess. Ain’t no privacy in this world anymore.” Their attention turned back to the Dash house’s forty-inch.

“Welcome to my HQ: La Ciudadela de Flor y Canto. When my own humble abode grew too small for the operations I was running, I decided to take my project to the very place where I planned the trap that captured Auitzotl. Here at the CFC, we have a highly secure museum where I have gathered the priceless pieces of history I’ve found for all the world to see.”

Rainbow Dash squealed with delight upon seeing the artifacts she recognized from her books over a TV screen. “That’s the Macuahuitl of the Shorn Ones! And that’s the Anaconda Sabre! OHH and those are the Great Gemstones of the Capri!” She was working on memorizing every detail of the CFC.

Applejack actually liked reading the Daring Do books with Rainbow Dash for school, but her patience was tried when Rainbow’s fan-girl was exposed this prominently. “You’ve seen pictures of those artifacts before haven’t you?”

“Well duh. But now they are on TV with Daring Do! Now shhh! They’re in the situation room,” squealed Rainbow as Daring Do and her gang surrounded a table that housed thousands of dollars in gadgets and funky monitors in its surface.

“Alright, Daisy. Whadaya got for me today?”

“I have a former Cobra Pharmaceuticals employee that claims he's been forced to mule bio-weapons in trucks that are supposed to be hauling meds."

“This isn’t gonna be another Largest Ever Pet Shop conspiracy is it? I mean, are you trying to say that Cobra is spreading disease or something?

“Everything I have today went through the prescribed background checking. Since bio-terrorism could be the future, its crucial that we start learning about it. Even if we don't uncover anything, we could still learn a thing or two from the leaders in biotechnology.”

“Well we’ll see but I prefer we not go into it. Banner. Go.”

“Two words: Gigantopithecus Canadensis. I got—”

“Nope. Not yet. We’re not ready jump the shark in the premier, Banner. Constable, tell me you have something good.”

“Indeed I do Daring. More runes found in Minnesota this time! Remember that case for Templar gold we had back in 09’? Well here it is again. The pictures of these runes match the same that we saw in Nova Scotia, This time, about an hour North of Duluth”

“Now this is what I like to hear, Constable. Get your winter coats guys. Let's roll out.”

Like an encyclopedia, Rainbow was on this, “The runes! If those are legit, that means that—”

“The Templar could have arrived in the West 300 years before Questmaster and then reached over 1500 miles inland!” interrupted Sunset. Everybody on the block knew that Sunset was smart by now. She was a master of mathematics and the hard sciences but even Rainbow was stunned by her knowledge of this world's history when she had a mind full of another's. Especially when she didn’t care about history for the first three years she was in the human world.

“Ooooh. It looks like Sunset’s catching up to your Daring Do knowledge Rainbow.” Applejack threw a popcorn kernel at Rainbow, but being a good sport, Rainbow didn't mind. Especially when she was in this good of a mood already. It did, however, give her an idea.

“I take that as a challenge Applejack. Sunset, we’re having a quiz-off once this is over. Winner takes the rest of the nectar of the gods home”

“What?!" Sunset's voice cracked replying to the out of nowhere challenge. "I have to answer for a challenge that Applejack called?”

“I didn’t even call the challenge, Rainbow did,” interjected Applejack.

“It’s settled then. Sunset and I. Head to head. Mano a horso. Daring Do and history trivia."

“Horso?! Oh it’s on, monkey girl."

“It took a whole fifteen minutes, but I finally got together enough questions for a halfway decent trivia competition.”
the two watched as Applejack walked in the living room with the modest stack of note cards. The high from watching the show suddenly died when Rainbow realized that she challenged Sunset Shimmer, of all people, to a game of wits. Not to let any sort of foe get to her, the grin reappeared on her face.

“Bring on the questions, AJ.”

“In what battle did president Bull Moose order a charge of his Rough Riders in the Spanish-American War?”
Sunset’s inner student resurrected itself for a swift hand raise, “Ooh! Ooh!”

“Uhh… Sunset”

“The Battle of San Juan Hill”

“Correct. Hey, how are we scoring this?”

“Ascending point values, first question is worth two points, add two every round," suggested Rainbow. She figured if she could negate Sunset’s first answer while simultaneously putting more pressure on herself as the competition goes, she could pull off an unlikely win.

Sunset and Applejack both knew Rainbow would try to do all she could to win. Sunset saw it as just gamesmanship, but Applejack knew exactly what Rainbow was thinking. In an instant, she could see when her hyper-competitive pal knew she was at a disadvantage. Applejack reviewed her questions and shuffled them around a bit. “Does that sound fair to you, Sunset?”

“Sure, makes sense,” replied Sunset with a clear, but understanding glare at Rainbow Dash.

“For four points. At its peak, this empire was the largest of all time. Name the empire.”

Dash’s body jolted. “Mongolian Empire!”

The answer was so fast that Applejack barely understood it. She understood it enough, however, to say “Nope.”

“What!?”

Without giving it much thought, Sunset threw in her answer. “The British Empire.”

“You got it.”

“Woo! The Mongolian Empire was the largest contiguous land empire, not the…”

Rainbow’s previous fan-girl eyes were now completely engulfed by the flames of competition. Sunset was silenced.

“Six points. Who played Daring Do in the 2011 film, At the River of Souls?”

“Candy Sweetheart!”

“Six points for Rainbow.”

Rainbow was getting cocky already. “It’s all tied up Sunset. Are you sweating yet?”

“Please, we’re three questions in.”

“Actually, I only made five questions.”

“So this next question is worthless then? Rainbow always gets her x-factor in the last fifth of any game! And how exactly is five questions a trivia competition?”

“Hey, I didn’t create this point system. Eight points. What historical leader did Daring Do call the most interesting person in history’?”

Sunset passed a squint between Rainbow and Applejack knowing that it wasn’t even worth it to throw out a guess. Rainbow Dash, however, had every intention to stack the scoreboard.

“Admiral Thundersail.”

“Correct, Rainbow. I guess it doesn’t really matter though. Last question and I made this one a doosy. What Greek hero was the inspiration for Daring Do’s only best seller that was not a Daring Do title?”

A moment of silence passed between Sunset and Rainbow. Rainbow’s eye registered a slight twitch. Sunset held her hand to her lips.

“Really? Looks like I stumped y'all. Hehe”

“Theonikas,” blurted a muffled voice from behind Rainbow’s front door.

A confused glare passed between all three girls but then the host sighed as she figured out exactly what was happening. She shuffled to the front door, which was suddenly far too thin for Rainbow.

“Knock knock, Dashie!” yelled the door voice.

The bummed-out girl opened the door and answered to Indigo Zap with a half-hearted, “What’s up Zap?”

“I was just in the neighborhood and thought, ‘Hey. I should pay my favorite Wondercolt a visit.’”

“Is that it?”

“Well I was also wondering when you were having your officer interview. Mine is tomorrow morning. Needless to say, I’m gonna rock it.” Rainbow had went through many of the same processes for NROTC as Indigo Zap. When it is not reasonable to become part of an elite team of pegasi, Rainbow shot for the slightly more realistic goal of a Blue Angel.

Rainbow’s eyes opened wide with the same somewhat intimidated expression that she used when she realized that she was playing Sunset in a Trivia game. She was reminded of her fast approaching responsibilities. Her recovery was swift though. “It just so happens that mine is tomorrow morning too. You better hope you don’t follow me cause I’m gonna blow lieutenant away with my unadulterated awesomeness.”

As a fellow athlete, Indigo Zap was quite familiar with this posturing. “Pssh. Let’s just hope we both make a stronger impression than Lightning Dust.”

Upon the mention of her name, both girls were thinking the same five-letter word. Indigo didn’t like the fact that her academic misconduct ripped a total stud out from CPA’s Friendship Games team among other things. Rainbow still hadn’t forgiven her for a dirty slide that put the softball team’s catcher out for the season after game two.

“So… yeah, I just came to stop by. It’s already 10:00. I want to be well rested if I’m gonna be astounding Lieutenant Soarin’ at 8:00 tomorrow.”

“Soarin’. I’ll have to remember that name.”

Indigo passed Rainbow a smirk. “I don’t even know how you got this far in the process, Dash.”

As Indigo walked back to her car, Dash remembered one detail that slipped under her radar at the beginning of their conversation. “Wait! How do you know Daring Do stuff?”

“I don’t. It’s called Greek Mythology 101, Dash. I suppose at CHS you’re too busy skipping class and fighting magic to learn.”

Before closing the door, Rainbow aimed a legitimate smile in Indigo’s direction. She loved to be reminded of her reputation, especially coming from one of her chief rivals.

“I’m glad to see you’ve made friends with people at CPA other than Twilight,” said Sunset after she subtly swiped the last two liter of blue raspberry soda.

“I should have asked her if Twilight likes Daring Do. She seems like the kind of egg-head to read adventure novels.”
After Rainbow made this remark, Sunset immediately picked up her book and started scribbling.

Applejack easily noticed what she was writing. “I don’t know if pony Twilight will exactly be in the same situation.”
It only took a second and Sunset’s book came in with a message.

She smiled at Applejack and after she read the message. “It looks to me like Twilight might give Rainbow a run for her money for Daring Do fan-girl of the year.”

“What! Gimmie that!”

After reading the passage, Rainbow shut the book and stared blankly at the wall. “There is another world with an entirely different official continuity of Daring Do. I NEED to read them.”

“Umm. I was having a conversation there.”

Quickly ignoring Sunset's comment, Rainbow continued on her new scheme. “I need to get in contact with the Twilight here and see if she likes Daring Do then I'll find a way to get pony Twilight to get me those books. Maybe I can even meet two Daring Dos!”

Applejack set her hand on Rainbow’s shoulder to settle her restless friend. “Maybe we should go so you can get some rest if your interview is at 8:00.”

Too much sugar and Daring Do was in the hyped-up girl’s system. She took a deep breath and thought about what Applejack said. “If you want to go, you guys can. Just wish me luck for my interview.”

Sunset already had the blue raspberry soda in her backpack. “Good luck Rainbow! I think I’m about to head out too. Do you want us to pick you up after for a victory brunch, like 10:00 maybe?”

“That’d be great.”

Sunset and Applejack drove off in Applejack’s beat up truck while Rainbow settled into bed after an hour of interview prep on the computer. There was far too much on her mind to sleep now. A night of staring at the ceiling was her fate for the next few hours. If she were lucky, she would get a Daring Do adventure dream. More likely though, she would get a fevered dream about competing with Indigo and Lightning Dust. After taking a near loss tonight, she wasn’t about to take one tomorrow.

Author's Note

First chapter knocked out. After this one, more fun. There's gonna be ~~blackjack and hookers~~ a Daring Do chapter.

Showtime

The young, gray woman sat hunched over in a folding chair gawking at the last oatmeal raisin cookie on the craft services table. She tapped her leg nervously as she shifted her gaze to the light brown, mustached man watching cricket highlights on his phone.

The girl decided that she’d interrupt the mustached man’s sports induced trance for what she perceived as a necessary question. “Is she still going through the show notes?”

“Of course she is, love. Either that or scolding Banner for his stupid ideas.”

“I don’t get why we’re even doing this show if she constantly thinks she can do this on her own.”

“I wouldn’t question a paycheck. How many anthropologists get to have a job with this much excitement anyway?”

“Speak for yourself, I could have stayed in the Coast Guard and at least felt like I’m doing something meaningful while I’m getting yelled at. And you wanna talk excitement—”

“Ay. Stop. I don’t need to hear war stories from a twenty-seven year old girl. You haven’t seen nothing until you been into combat. Why, back in Shahi-Kot—”

“Oh here we go, you get to—”

Daring’s door opened in a flash to silence the squabbling coworkers. The not particularly happy woman to walk out was not in the mood for bickering between cast members, especially after having to chew out Banner for suggesting that they investigate alien abduction accounts. “I hired veterans because I wanted no-nonsense experts. Instead I get a bunch of interns that constantly feel the need to out-do each other. We’re on in five so quit arguing and get in place.”

Blazing Banner walked out shortly after her, looking quite humbled. “Skepticism McBoringpants over there is in a bit of a bad mood today.”

“Did you call her that to her face?” asked Constable Courage as he put away his phone.

“Maybe.”

“Yeah, that’d be right. You sheilas better get your pitches into shape. Especially you Daisy, I think boss is expecting a lot from you this time around.”

The colleagues walked to the monitors on set. Daisy’s dread caused her to swallow her gum on the short walk.

Despite the fact that graphics could be added in later, every one of them displayed something. They each brought up their chosen story. Daisy swallowed as she nervously opened any and every page she thought might be necessary to explain herself. Nobody on staff was fond of second takes or errors.

A voice from off set was barking orders which nobody really acknowledged. Daisy terminated the visible look of anxiety on her face while the rest of the crew’s more subtle hints of uncertainty where similarly suppressed.

Daisy had to distract herself from the worry. She knew she had everything prepared and had no reason to doubt herself this time so she let her mind wander. She looked at each of the crew and then remembered what Banner had said. Daisy chuckled to herself, looked at Banner, and whistled a tune familiar to any fan of fictional FBI agents.

“Aww hell, really Daisy?”

Daisy’s chuckle turned into full blown laughter and even Constable snickered.

Daring Do face palmed and ran her hand up her face and through her hair concealing a slight smile as well as setting up for a rarely seen moment of whimsy from her.

“You shouldn’t make fun of Banner so much. You never know when aliens are watching” joked Daring as she prominently cupped her hands in front of her while her hair still stood up from her face palm.

Banner blushed while Daisy was practically on the floor, however they had officially exited Constable’s reference pool.

Banner was quick to defend himself. He was usually okay with not being taken too seriously but when everybody ganged up on him, he had to get the last word. “They’re here! I’ve seen them! We’ve all seen them on the news! Why not—”

“Shut up!” echoed the other three.

All four quickly regained composure as the countdown began. The lights were bright and the previous scrambling slowed to a crawl.

“In five, four, three, two…”

“Let’s start off with you, Constable,”

“Ah. Save the best for first I suppose. I have on my monitor, evidence that the legendary Thylacine still exists. A Tasmanian botanist has found what appears to be the corpse of the tiger. A bit like that chupacabra case in Texas. Difference being, this is believable.”

“Is it believable, Constable or is it an excuse to take a trip down under?”

“Happy coincidence.”

“Banner, what stark raving mad suggestion do you have for us tonight?”

“Missing time. Lights in the sky. Unexplained radiation. What are all these things associated with you ask?”

“Do tell.”

“Aliens! More specifically, UFO sightings. I talked to several couples, each of whom gave a report that coincided very well with the others. All of them were traveling on I-80 a few miles south of Crystal City and witnessed two pillars of light in the sky. Two glowing objects then appeared out of the pillars and merged. These witnesses were all credible and quite shaken. All I ask is that you give it a chance. If not for the witnesses, then for planetary safety.

“Planetary safety, Banner? I don’t see what that has to do with lights over Crystal City. People have been reporting that for decades and it amounted to nothing. Daisy, it’s all on you now. If you mention the Loch Ness Monster, I swear…”

Daisy was a bit surprised that Banner’s story took place so close to her own. She hoped the fact that it was in the same city as her story didn’t discredit her at all. With thoughts fully gathered, she knew that this couldn’t be that much weirder than what Banner suggested. She was somewhat banking on Banner’s suggestion being significantly crazier than what she had.

“Funny he should mention Crystal City, Canterlot is where I found my story and it’s about ten miles out. As we all know, the Gemstones of Capri are some of the strangest objects in the world that we’ve found. In the local school grounds, an amateur geologist, who would like to remain anonymous, found what amounts to two gems with the exact properties of the Capri stones. Crucial difference: it looks like they were in the same shape as the ones in the museum but are now shattered.”

“Shattered? Those things are as hard as diamonds.”

“Yeah, it’s quite the mystery, Daring Do. Question is, is it a big enough mystery to wander into the epicenter of an alien apocalypse.”

“I suppose as long as we’re there, Banner can look into that as well. We’ll call it a dual investigation. Let’s roll.”

“Cut.”

“I have a good feeling about this. Nice job Daisy,” said Daring Do as she walked off set leaving the gang of three to discuss their plans for the first dual investigation of the show. All three of them were fairly satisfied. Constable’s stories have already been chosen for four of the last six investigations so even he wasn’t going to complain when everything went well in one take and Banner was just happy that he’s getting a chance to pursue his minor obsession.

After a cautious acknowledgement of success passed between the three, Constable broke the silence between them. “So, how do we wanna start this?”

“I propose we find a connection. I’ve always speculated that the gemstones might not be from Earth. I always just figured they were meteoric, but this opens a whole world of possibilities.” Banner already had a few ideas.

What Banner said would fit in with most of his kooky theories but Daisy and Constable couldn’t help but consider the possibility of some sort of natural phenomena that could connect both the gemstones and UFO sightings. This didn’t stop Constable from being dismissive on all counts. “You and Daisy can go and investigate your crazy theories and if by some miracle you manage to find a connection…I don’t know. You get a biscuit.”

“Umm, why am I going on Banner’s trip through the wormhole? The gems were my story. I should get to investigate,” said the headstrong woman.

Constable hadn’t considered it before, but he may actually have to go UFO hunting with Banner. Teams were usually split boy-girl to investigate separate parts of single investigation both because their qualifications were best split that way and it was just the formula for this type of show. Now he found himself in an awkward position. Daisy was more qualified for the gem investigation and Daring Do was not about to investigate the oogy-boogy B-story.

Constable raised a finger and paused. “Damn. You may be right.”

Banner’s face lit up at the opportunity to proselytize the art of the conspiracy to Constable. “Ahhhh, looks like you and me brah! Blazing Banner and the downer from down under: MUFON investigators.”

“Whatever that is, I’m not one.”

Promptly ignoring Constable’s comment, Banner started crafting Constable’s road trip from hell. “We’re gonna drive over to Crystal City, pick up some baconators, listen to some Countess Coloratura, talk about some football. And I mean like real football. Like with helmets and shoulder pads.”

Banner walked away with Constable under his left arm leaving his right free to gesture towards the sky as he rambled on. Constable mouthed a clearly visible “help me” to Daisy. It was of no use. Daisy just giggled before she was called by Daring Do.

As she arrived in the room and took a seat, she checked to make sure her phone was silent. Daring Do was leaning back in her chair. The remains of shelled nuts were scattered across her modest table along with various documents and souvenirs from far away lands. The room’s walls were entirely covered in bookshelves with spaces in between for various little pieces of history. An antique doll from Papua New Guinea particularly creeped out Daisy.

“You called, Daring Do?”

“I wanted to discuss our plan for the Crystal City investigation. What did you have in mind? I assume you have all the necessary info,” said Daring as she cracked open the shell of a Brazil nut with without breaking the nut; nearly an impossible feat without the proper tool.

“Uh, I suggest we start at the contractor who found the gems, after that I think we should examine the grounds. It’s Canterlot High School’s so maybe we could ask some faculty and students if they’ve seen anything strange. Maybe before all that, we could get some fanfare in.”

“You know I hate that. But I guess if we’re gonna do it anywhere it may as well be there. We’re probably going to need to bring the gems too. We could have them on display at the meet and greet if we bring enough muscle. Bring some culture to that town.”

Daisy liked the plan, but more than that she liked the approval from Daring Do. She was a grown, accomplished woman, but at heart she was almost as big of a fan-girl as Rainbow Dash.

She walked out of Daring’s office and picked up the last oatmeal raisin cookie on her way out of the studio. It tasted like victory.

Author's Note

I hope y'all can get on board with a reality star Daring Do with a posse. My vision of Daring Do is kinda like an angry combination of Brad Meltzer and Richard Machowicz. Basically what I mean is that I watch too much reality TV. Next chapter, expect an encounter.

Knock 'em Dead

“Come on Dash. You got this.”

Rainbow Dash was prepping in the morning by talking to the mirror. She had her pre-game mix playing in the bathroom. She was dressed to kill and smelled like vanilla. But in a tough way.

With a quick breakfast of a granola bar, she was out the door with nothing but keys and satchel. Luckily the recruitment office was within walking distance.

After a calm confident stroll to the recruitment office, she walked in to find Lightning Dust sitting in the waiting room. Rainbow didn’t acknowledge her presence. Instead, she focused on the television playing the DVD of The Final Countdown.

“What’s up, Rainbow Dash?”

With a quick glance toward Lightning, Rainbow had no choice but to acknowledge her now. “Not much, Lightning Dust.”

“I heard you were involved in some pretty crazy shit at the Friendship Games.”

“We don’t really talk about it around company we don’t trust.”

Lightning Dust smiled mischievously and tilted her head. “You mean you don’t trust me, Rainbow Dash? I’m offended.”

“How did you even get here anyway? I thought you had academic misconduct,” asked the already aggravated girl.

“I did. Girls Nation can get them to overlook quite a bit though,” responded Lightning with an air of smugness.

Rainbow had tried to get into Girls State but was only picked as an alternate. She didn’t do particularly well on the legion test and frankly, didn’t care about local government. Or any government for that matter. Rainbow pouted slightly upon remembering this.

“Now I don’t know if more than one of us can get picked for this, but I can say for almost absolute certainty that you two don’t stand much of a chance. You don’t have grades and Zap is gonna choke just like she does.”

Rainbow prevented herself from getting angry. She remembered that her friends wished her good luck and the victory brunch ahead of her. She took a deep breath.

“Y’know, I looked up Lieutenant Soarin’ last night. Blue Angel. Great pilot. A pilot that is trained to see every detail all the time from a mile away. I bet he’s gonna see right through you.”

Lightning Dust considered this for a moment. Her face turned slightly bitter and she became silent. The room was once again dominated by the engines of F-14 Tomcats. This was interrupted by the office door swooping open.

Indigo Zap walked out looking quite proud of her performance. She back peddled and mimicked the action of shooting a basketball followed by a smooth transition out of the building, staring both girls down as she walked out.

Soarin’ walked out of the room with a clipboard. “Ms. Dust. You’re next.”

She walked into the office with Soarin’ leaving Rainbow Dash to herself. All Dash could do now was imagine how their conversation was going. It wasn’t going to help her though. She knew that it would be wiser to think about what she might say rather than either of her rivals.

Maybe that wouldn’t help her either though. “What if they found out about the time I cheated on that math test, or shot that arrow into my neighbor’s yard, or broke my neighbor’s window with that softball? I hope they didn’t talk to my neighbor.”

“Snap out of it! You are awesome. You got this. This is automatic. You just have to show him how awesome you are. Just with words.”

“I’ve never had to sell myself like this though. I—”

“You’ve never been one to give excuses. Just think about the trivia match last night. You knew you were at a disadvantage. You toughed it out anyway. Thought on your feet like the powerhouse you are.”

“Did Sunset take the blue raspberry soda?”

Rainbow Dash was now sufficiently satisfied with herself for her mind to wander like usual. She would start to flip between scrutinizing herself, getting distracted, and watching Final Countdown.

Half an hour of frantic thought passed and Lightning’s interview was finally over. Despite the song not being associated with the film whatsoever, Soarin’ and Lightning got to walk in on the treat of Rainbow Dash jamming on an air guitar, singing Europe’s “The Final Countdown” as the credits rolled.

The stare down that followed was awkward to say the least. It lasted a few milliseconds longer than it needed to as well. Forgetting that she was wielding an air guitar instead of a real one like usual, Rainbow made the motion of gently leaning her guitar against the table. Lighting walked out looking smug as ever, leaving just Rainbow and Soarin’.

“So, Ms. Dash. Those were some nice moves there.”

Rainbow blushed and tried to find a way to turn this to her advantage. “Yeah. I’m in a band. We’re pretty good.” She knew she was forgetting something. “Sir.”

Soarin’ sat down and asked “What genre do you play?”

Rainbow had to think on this for a moment. The Rainbooms just played what felt natural to them. “We play mainly pop-rock. Kinda what you usually think of with a girl group, sir.”

Soarin’s face lit up. “Oh, I love pop! I mean, you may not knowing it by looking at me but... I gotta get back on topic. Tell me about yourself.”

Rainbow’s confidence boosted when she realized that the first impression she made will at least make the interview memorable. “Well, as I mentioned, I’m in a band with some of my best friends, I love sports and reading. I’m mainly a Daring Do fan. I—”

“Whoa. Did you say Daring Do? I’m a huge fan too. Did you see the premiere of Earth’s Enigmas last night?”

“Yes! I did, it was awesome wasn’t it?”

“I know! I mean, shows like that have been on before but Daring Do is the real deal. I met her at an air show in Dallas. She is just larger than life.”

“You met her, sir? I am so jealous.”

Soarin’ laughed quietly and straightened out when he remembered that this was the second time he got off topic. “Back to questions. I promise I won’t get distracted again. Why do you want to join the Navy?”

Rainbow was prepared for this one. She wanted to be in the skies so bad. The Blue Angels in particular drew her to naval aviation. She thought the F/A-18 was the prettiest thing that ever flew. “To fulfill the sense of loyalty I have for my country is probably the biggest factor. I also heard you flew with the Blue Angels. Not to sound creepy but I have been obsessed with you guys since I was a little girl. Flying in general really.”

“Hey, flying is the best. And we are awesome so I couldn’t blame you for the obsession.” Soarin’ managed to stay on topic for that question.

“Score.”

“When I first wanted to serve is also when I started really getting my grades in gear. I used to get straight Cs back in junior high but I tried to kick it up a notch after that. Just this year I made sure that through hard work, I could get three-five and with the stellar tutoring of one of my bandmates, I made it happen.”

“That’s what I love to here. I noticed you have some flight experience. Do you have your pilot’s license?” The lieutenant was legitimately curious about this oddity on her resume.

“Not exactly, sir. Technically, what I have equates to less than one hour of flight experience. The first time was a little while for fun. The second time was kind of an emergency.”

“Interesting. What happened?”

The thought of how she might describe her meager yet completely unbelievable experiences with flight crossed her mind. She formulated a plan during her late night cramming session that she just barely remembered. “I was flying in a nap-of-the-earth kind of scenario. There was an accident and I ended up having to take full control of the situation. Nobody was harmed.”

“Please leave at that. Please leave it at that. Why did I mention that on the resume?”

“Well thank God.”

Sighs of relief silently exited Rainbow. Perhaps her initial charm pushed him to not look too far into it. The interview continued as cookie cutter as usual. As she naturally and comfortably answered each of his questions, their talk grew more casual. By the time the interview was over, Rainbow was not using “sir” nearly as often as she initially did. Soarin’ was calling her Dash.

“Once again, thank you for considering me. I hope I make a decent candidate.”

“You make a wonderful candidate. We’ll let you know by email if you get the recommendation. And remember, if you don’t get the scholarship now, you can always try again in college.”

Rainbow walked out of the recruitment office with bitter-sweet feelings. She thought she did well but still wondered if Lighting or Zap had done better. When her friends pulled up and she hopped in shotgun, she remembered that she shouldn’t think like that.
“How did it go?” said Sunset at the wheel of a cheap compact, Applejack accompanying her in the back seat.

“Great. Where we gonna eat?”

Applejack hunched over the seat hump. “We actually have a surprise for you.”

“It wouldn’t happen to be Cracker Barrel would it?”

“We’re actually going to the mall,” said Sunset dawning an impish smile.

“The mall? Does Cinnabon really scream victory?” replied a confused Rainbow.

Sunset looked at Applejack to further let Rainbow know that she was subject to a fun conspiracy. “Who said anything about Cinnabon? We just mean mall. Like the place where car shows happen or celebrities do meet and greets.”

“What are you getting at?”

“You’ll see,” said Sunset timed to match her speeding out of the parking lot.

“Not an auto show. Must be a celebrity. A celebrity big enough for me to care about but small enough for me to not notice any advertising. Who am I kidding? I don’t pay attention. Maybe it is just Cinnabon.”

The mall’s parking lot was packed for this time of day. Rainbow’s jaw dropped upon seeing the poster on one of the windows. Sunset and Applejack’s faces likewise lit up at Rainbow’s reaction.

“No. Way.” Screeched Rainbow before she released a squeal that rose into inaudibility.

Ancient artifacts were mounted in glass cases. It looked like a couple hundred people were browsing around. The girls temporarily ignored the history lesson they provided to get a good spot in line. The three ran into the line at a nigh sprint. Rainbow hopped up and down, left to right to catch a glimpse of her hero in the flesh.

“Thirty more people in line”

“Fifteen more people.”

“Five more people!”

Two large men cut the gang off. “That’ll be it for today.”

Rainbow’s life just about flashed before her eyes, but before her body could react, the woman Rainbow knew was Deathtrap Daisy got the guard’s attention.

“Let that last group through. We need some high school age girls.”

“That’s a little weird of her to say, but yes!”

The last group of five people walked away happy with their autographs while Daisy and Daring Do had one last piece of communication between them before they confronted the girls. “Do you girls go to Canterlot High?” asked Daisy in a friendly demeanor.

“I’m your biggest fan!”

Daisy was amused by this non-sequitur but Daring was out for more straight answers.

“She means yes,” chimed Sunset to resolve the situation.

“We’d like to discuss something with you if you don’t mind,” proposed Daisy.

Rainbow’s heart was about ready to explode while Applejack and Sunset were each thinking the same worrisome questions. Was this going to be about magic and was Rainbow’s logic clouded enough for her to spill the beans and attracting needless attention to the portal?

“Will we still get autographs?!” Blurted the fangirl without thinking about where the conversation might lead.

“You will get an advanced copy of Daring Do’s next book and the possibility of being on Earth’s Enigma’s.”

Applejack pulled Rainbow into a group huddle while she vibrated with glee. “Rainbow, I know you’re having a moment, but if you could just listen to what we want to tell you for a little bit right now.”

“It’s just that you’re excited, and things might slip out that we don’t want to let a whole lot of people know about. Especially people who may want to really look into it,” added Sunset.

“This is the best day ever!”

“Rainbow!” shouted both of her friends in an attempt to get her to snap out of it. It worked.

“Alright alright! I got this. Mouths shut.”

“We can totally talk to you,” declared Sunset wearing a smile precious enough that nobody would expect there was anything to be hidden. Nobody save for perhaps Daring Do.

The girls did not expect to be separated, but to their disappointment, they were. Sunset sat alone in a room that she had no idea existed at this mall. A tray full of chocolates rested a few inches from a bowl of shelled nuts. The victory breakfast never happened so Sunset reached for three chocolates, which turned into six, which turned into nine by the time Daring Do walked in. They had ganache in the center.

Daring Do walked in somewhat surprised to see that the 125 pound girl took out half of the tray of chocolates in the five minutes that she was gathering her material. She suppressed a grin seeing that plenty of chocolate remained on Sunset’s face.

“Did you enjoy the chocolate truffles? They were three dollars apiece so I hope so,” remarked Daring.

“Ohmygosh, I’m so sorry, they were just so—”

“Delicious. Yes, that’s why we got them for you. Now that I know you like chocolate, why don’t you tell me a little bit more about yourself?”

Sunset had been through this spiel too many times to count. She fabricated a backstory that she made sure hadn’t changed; even when she left her real past behind her. By now she was tired of it enough to be annoyed by merely thinking about it. Luckily for her, it was difficult to be unhappy with a belly full of truffles.

“Well, I moved to Canterlot about four years ago when my dad got a job as a loan officer in the city. It still seems like he works twenty-four/seven. I mainly spend my time hanging out with friends and studying. I love a good book.”

“I can certainly relate. I love a good book too. What do you think of your school?”

“I love it there. I feel like I finally fit in somewhere,” said Sunset with legitimate joy.

“It’s nice that you like school, but that wasn’t really what I was getting at. Have you seen anything strange or noticed anything different about your school? Like terrain wise maybe?”

Sunset was disappointed that Daring Do was taking the school conversation in an inquisitive direction, yet she was relieved that it seems like she was pretty far off from what exactly made Canterlot High special. Her mind was somewhat torn. She would love to fulfill Rainbow’s dream and have a whole show shot at Canterlot High, but she felt like it was her duty to defend Earth’s side of the portal. If only she could lead Daring Do to believe that the weird parts of Canterlot High are due to some geological or meteorological phenomena.

Sunset thought quickly. “Do we get tremors? No. Crazy weather? No. Rainbow may have to be okay with no TV shoot.”

“Ms. Shimmer, it’s not that hard of a question. Just… have you seen anything weird?”

“Uhhhh… We saw lights in the sky!” she blurted in instance of on-the-spot thinking.

“Shut. Up.” Daring tilted her head off to the right and held back what would have been a cackle. “Banner is going to flip about this.”

What hole did Sunset dig herself into? She didn’t want to lie when it was unnecessary and she wanted to keep the school happy and safe, but in this haphazard instance of thinking on her feet, she made herself look a bit crazy.

Daring Do’s smile became more apparent as she shook her head and returned gaze to Sunset. “Have you seen the gemstones of Capri that we had on display out there?”

The name sounded familiar, and she did love history, but she just hasn’t paid enough attention to Daring Do lore or ancient artifacts to really know about them. “I didn’t get a good look at them.”

“They are quite beautiful. Weirdest little rocks. They vibrate like quartz but they’re hard as diamonds. They’re that shade of red that you can’t tell if it’s closer to symbolizing beauty or rage. We found them in a cave on a small island in the Tyrrhenian Sea. When we first found them, we called them the Sirens’ Stones because they were resting in the rocky isles of the mythological beasts.”

Sunset’s heart dropped like an anvil. Somehow, the conversation carried from geological phenomena to lights in the sky, to exactly what Sunset didn’t want Daring to land on: magic.

The shaken girl cleared her throat to prepare something to distract Daring. “Do you think that has something to do with the lights we saw in the sky?”

“No, but I know somebody who does and he is going to want to turn this town upside down looking for evidence.”

After the meeting, Sunset was deeply troubled waiting for her friends. Applejack came out of her meeting with one of the producers after Sunset had finished. She looked indifferent and calm until she saw Sunset’s nervous face.

“You alright, Sugar cube?”

“What questions did he ask you?” said the fully panicked girl.

“Uh. Just some stuff about the school. I didn’t tell them nothin’ though. Did you?”

“I didn’t, but I think I may have clued her in. She asked about the pendants that the sirens wore.”

“You told her about the sirens!?” Applejack was now understanding the panic.

“No! I just told her that we saw lights in the sky.”

“Why did you tell her that much. Now she knows that we use magic and is going to be trouncin’ about the school grounds.”

“She doesn’t know we use magic. She brought up the sirens because the gemstones on display out there must have belonged to our world’s Dazzlings. She found them in a cave associated with the sirens of myth.”

This was a lot to take in for Applejack. She sorted the possible threats from this out in her head and arrived at the conclusion that there wasn’t any possibility of a second siren attack from this, but worry still remained about Daring Do’s investigation. “So we can still keep everything right as long as Daring Do thinks that those sirens were still mythological and doesn’t see any magic.”

“I think so.”

Rainbow walked out of the smallest room laughing up a storm alongside Deathtrap Daisy. Daisy’s fun-loving spirit and thick skin complimented Rainbow’s brash sense of humor and energy.

“Great meeting you, Rainbow. I’ll put in a good word for you for that special copy.”

Daisy left the girls alone in the mall’s hidden section. While Rainbow was having the time of her life, she noticed the other girls looking at her with grim expressions.

“What’s up guys? Are you okay?”

“You didn’t spill the beans did you?” asked Sunset, preparing for the worst.

“Of course not. She just asked about the school. I told her how awesome we were. I made sure to leave out the weird magic and monsters stuff. You don’t think they’re on to us do you?”

“I think they came to Canterlot for a reason and I think it has something to do with those gemstones out there,” deduced Applejack.

“The Gemstones of Capri? They’re just…” Rainbow’s widened eyes were a signal that she had just became aware of the wall of reality that stood in front of stream of thoughts. The pieces of evidence and parcels of knowledge about the artifacts Daring Do found revealed a scary truth about the human world that directly related to Rainbow’s experiences. She really should have known as soon as she learned about the gemstones.

“They… She doesn’t know she’s looking for magic yet?”

Applejack would have been amused by Rainbow Dash’s sudden reality check, but they had far too much on their mental plate at that moment.

“We can keep it that way though as long as we don’t say too much,” she reassured.

Meanwhile, in a dark room full of monitors at that same mall, Daring Do sat with eyes glued to a screen in complete befuddlement. Daisy walked in with relatively little to report from Rainbow. Just a small favor. “Are you watching those girls over the security cams?”

“I though they seemed a little weird. Turns out, they’re a lot of weird.”

“Why are you spying on them?”

“They are talking like they… use magic and have seen sirens, like mythological sirens.”

“Ummm. Are you sure you haven’t misconstrued what they’re saying?”

“I must be. No group of teenagers is collectively that crazy. Maybe magic is a drug and sirens are dealers or something. When I brought up the isle of the sirens, it must have made her think that I was onto them.”

“The one I talked to seemed like such a nice girl. Would they really be on street drugs?”

“The one I talked to seemed alright too. All the more reason to investigate the school I suppose. Did you call Banner?”

“Yeah, he was yammering like he was onto something. ‘We saw it! We saw it!’ I told him to get his ass over here.”

“Smart. We’ll meet at the school tomorrow morning. Tight schedule.”

Author's Note

Ah, the good ol' magic-drugs switcheroo. Makes ya think. Am I a powerful mage or was there something in those cookies I pilfered from the commons?

Kopis

Theonikas took in a forceful inhale when the cold water soaked him while he slumbered in the corner of a modest boat. A short lavender woman stood before him with bucket and xiphos in hand. She was skilled at wielding a sword as well as waking up tired old hunters.

“We’re nearly at the isle. You should consider being more alert for this fight,” she barked at Theonikas.

“I should be more alert? Thyella, you are too angry to function most the time, Dromas is deaf, and I think I’m still a little drunk. Alertness is not our strongest suit.” The hunter did not move from his place.

Thyella grunted in dismay and glanced over at Dromas. He was staring at his spear. It made her uncomfortable.

“We are going to die if you two don’t stay focused,” said Thyella as she angrily shifted gaze to the unoccupied corner of the boat.

“Then we bet on how we die. We collect in the underworld.”

Theonikas gestured to Dromas in a language that only the two of them seemed to know. “Ah, see. Dromas is on this action. He bets ten drachma that we’ll fall off a cliff on our way to their lair.”

Thyella stood silent. Theonikas was unclear as to whether she was thinking about how they’d go out or just not comfortable with dead pools. “I will go as high as twenty that Dromas fleas, I will be shot with my own arrows, and they keep you as pet.”

“I will tell you what’s going to happen. Their spell will not work on us, you will shoot the purple one, Dromas shall spear the blue one, and I will personally tear the heart out of that yellow one.”

“I give that about a plus eleven hundred, Athens odds,” snarked the gambling man.

“How are we to die if they cannot trap us under their spell? They look weak. They are but girls,” questioned the warrior lady.

“No one has heard the sirens’ song and lived. No deaf man, no woman, not a man at a distance,” he warned, somewhat disgusted with his own pessimism after saying it.

“They have never fought a deaf man, woman, or bowman. They do not fight. They are cowards.”

Their bickering was interrupted by a haunting whistle that blew through the rocky shores. It didn’t seem natural to the terrified minds of the two who could hear.

“Is that them?” posed Thyella nervously.

“If it is, then maybe this won’t be so bad,” replied the nonchalant hunter trying to reassure himself and Thyella to compensate for his negativity.

Any cool that they had was gone when they landed. The three fully realized the gravity of the situation when the whistling was replaced by the low drum of waves colliding. They gathered their few belongings, which were mainly weapons. The collection of objects was a perfect example of what a suicide mission’s arsenal might look like. The only possessions they brought that were not related to weapons were three sacks that once contained bread. Now they hoped for them to hold something more unpleasant.

A kopis hung at Theonikas’ side. It was not really a combat weapon for the average hunter like Theonikas. He did not know how to wield it, but it was mandated that they bring it. It was perhaps the only reminder that they have a chance of survival. It was only used by a foot soldier after victory had been achieved.

As far as they knew, the lair was not too far away. They didn’t know what it looked like. They really didn’t know anything about the sirens. They began up the rocky hill anyway with weapons and sacks nervously in hand.

They were certainly afraid, but the sheep wandering about and lotuses near their path would make the scene of three terrified warriors walking up a hill seem out of place. To siren hunters, the sheep and lotuses didn’t exist. Only an objective. Alertness was no longer an issue.

“How well can you hear right now, Theonikas?”

“A little bit better than I wish.”

“Do you think you can hit them from twenty orgyia?”

“That’s why I’m here. Are you still female?”

“Believe it or not yes. But, I’m here for more than that.”

“Of course you are,” said Theonikas sarcastically. “Dromas, are you still deaf.”

A pause ensued for Theonikas’s lame duck joke that did nothing to comfort Thyella or himself. The pause did not conclude until they reached a cave.

“Do you hear that? It’s laughter,” said Thyella as her rage reached a pinnacle.

“It had to be a cave didn’t it.”

“Those harpies are laughing. Ready your bow.” Her head was cloudy and Theonikas knew it. He gestured Dromas to lead. Upon walking into the cave, they couldn’t afford to lose their greatest advantage so they bumbled, though stealthily, through the dark. The laughing grew louder as they followed Dromas’ lead. They could tell he saw something when he raised his left hand to eye level—a faint light emitted from the deep recesses of the cave.

Theonikas stopped the pair in front of him. It was time for all jokes to cease for him. The hunt was on and he was a great hunter.
The disposition from Theonikas signaled something unknown to Thyella. He turned to her with a sigh. “Before we take positions, just be safe out there. I know how much you hate them, but none of us want to die today.”

Thyella had never seen Theonikas afraid. She always wanted him to be brought down a notch but of course this came at the most inopportune time. She was afraid too.

Theonikas took his bow and kopis to a ridge that was partially in the light. Below it was a pool of water. He needed the height and light to make his shot.

Though it was dark, he could see the sirens. For about two seconds, Theonikas was in awe of their beauty, then he understood Thyella’s rage. There was something wicked about their aura. It was as if every noise uttered from their mouth, even those that were not song, were leading him to evil.

They conversed and giggled in a hot spring. Three lantern’s emitted the light that they saw. He watched Thyella and Dromas creep towards their pool. He was afraid before. He was terrified now. Everyone who he called a friend and every possession he had, however meager, were in the cave targeting the same individuals because a king told them to.

He watched the sirens intensely. The golden haired siren ceased talking, smirked, and flipped her hands outward toward her fellow sirens.

“No.”

He prepared his bow but their song had already started. His companions silently charged at first sight of the sirens’ mouths simultaneously opening.

“No!”

Dromas’ spear caused a spark after hitting directly into the rocks lining the hot spring when the lanterns light disappeared. The song was not audible to Theonikas, but he was sure it was quite audible to Thyella. In the dark, he rummaged for his arrows but only heard a splash made presumably by his quiver.

The lanterns were turned back on again not by fire, but a strange pastel glow. The alien like radiance shined on Thyella and the sirens alike. Thyella’s sword was bloodied. The sirens were not.

She shivered out of paralysis and was quickly inserted back into it when the violet and blue sirens continued to sing. The golden siren exited the hot spring slowly and all either of the remaining warriors could do was watch. No siren had moved an inch since the ordeal began.
She walked around Thyella in observance and focused on her face. “Oh yes, I know you. Doesn’t she look familiar, girls?”

In an odd spectacle the two minor sirens spoke clearly while simultaneously singing beautifully. “She does, Adagio”

“The warrior princess. We much preferred the warrior prince. He was lovely company. Aria, do you think—” Adagio’s monologue was interrupted by a swift swing of Thyella sword. A cut was left on Adagio’s cheek, but a larger one was cut in her pride. Thyella only maintained this resistance for less than a second. Adagio’s control resumed and a face twisting with defiance uncurled back to a complacent blankness.
The lead siren’s grin welted upon feeling her wound. “End her.”

The other sirens’ song turned from bittersweet to metallic. Without any appearance of struggle the xiphos was brought down directly into Thyella’s stomach.

Theonikas pulled out the only weapon he had and launched as if it were a giant, wrathful boomerang. Its shape made it ungraceful in the air and even less graceful upon landing through the expanse of golden hair that rested on the lead siren’s back as she walked back into her pool.

Before hitting, the water, the other sirens’ song went from a metallic chant to a toxic screech that deafened Theonikas even from his position. He dived into the water and swam to the rocky ridge that separated the water beneath him from the spring.

The two leaped from the spring to sing a venomous melody in his direction with all of their might, but the toxic screech was still burned into his eardrums.

When he exited the water, the two ran in opposite direction. The hunter tackled the blue siren into the spring. He was too angry to see her tears or fear which he longed to witness.

Aria looked towards the spring and ran back to it in the hopes to save at least one of her sisters. With a splash, Theonikas alone stood up from the pool. They stared each into each other’s backwards and broken souls. Aria’s rage showed more prominently than Theonikas’.
Beneath the screech, he could see the words Aria mouthed at him. Two short words she yelled as she charged at him.
Somehow, Theonikas was helpless to smack after smack to the face and her words were audible to him now. “Wake up! Wake up! Wake! The! Fuck! Up! Adagio!”

“Get u--” Aria’s hand was caught on her final slap by the grip of her leader. “The landlord is gonna be here in like twenty minutes,” said Aria as quickly and meekly as possible upon realizing she went a little too far in waking her sister.

Adagio felt the red marks on her face. Those were quite real as well as the alarm’s toxic, ongoing screech. “You don’t. Touch me. Again.” She went the bathroom to prep for oncoming responsibilities.

“About damn time,” said Aria. Though this situation seemed violent and rare, this was how a good many of their mornings have gone since the fall. Before, Aria would have never dreamed about slapping her leader awake, but under the given circumstances, she knew she could get away with it and perhaps it was even justified. Today was special. They had not seen their landlord in months. He just realized that the trio had a nonexistent lease and simply had to arrange a meeting to resolve the misunderstanding or at least figure out how this issue managed to slip his mind for so long.

“So what’s your brilliant plan out of this one, fearless leader?” asked Aria with lethal sarcasm.

“I’m going to clarify how we thought that we paid him. I’ll use my charm. Hopefully Sonata can do her thing that men seem to melt over.

Maybe, by some miracle, you can be likable,” explained Adagio over both the shower and sink.

“What if I hit him with a frying pan?” deadpanned Aria.

“Last resort.”

Sonata was sitting vegetative in the living room staring at the TV with a bowl of Coco Puffs. Why she was enamored with a car auction was just one of those questions that Aria simply did not care about.

“Sonata, go get dressed. You have to look cute or something. Y’know, not your usual, hideous morning self.”

“Five more minutes Aria. It’s a 1971 Pontiac GTO Judge and I wanna see how much it goes for.”

“When have you ever, ever, ever cared about cars?” said an impatient Aria.

“Since always,” replied Sonata.

“Since never,” bantered Aria, completing the usual morning routine of pulling Sonata from the television.

After a mere ten minutes of time in the bathroom, Adagio stepped out of the bathroom looking as if she had been prepping for an hour.
A skill acquired from centuries of attempting to look like a goddess. “Aria, go get the emergency duffel.”

“The flighty bag? Already?” questioned Sonata.

Adagio made her last adjustments in the living room mirror. “It’s just a precaution. We need to know if we’re still equipped for this sort of thing.”

Aria retrieved a stuffed duffel bag. Living as migrants for the past thousand years could be tricky whenever victims caught on. A quick escape and few things to help them in the case of magic not being an option were crucial.

Upon opening it, Adagio viewed its contents with a certain amount of antipathy. Two changes of clothes, hygiene products, a stack of fake IDs and other contrived documents were Adagio’s contribution. Pushed off to the outside of the bag were two boxes of now smooshed Twinkies and a saucy romance novel half read by the bubbly blue siren. Underneath Sonata’s input was that of the less cheery siren. An ill gotten Ruger MkIII and $3000 in cash.

“Aria, what the hell is this and where did you get it from?”

Aria glanced inside the bag acting as if she had never seen the thing before. It didn’t fool her sister. “Oh, that? Randy.”

“It originally belonged to a Randy or you named it Randy?” questioned the now concerned lead siren.

“That’s his name. See, I carved it right there.”

“What is it, Dagi?” interjected Sonata. “Ohhh, I bet know what it is. I named mine Logan.”

Garnering the attention of her sisters’ confused and slightly disgusted gazes, Sonata redacted her statement. “Not what we’re talking about? Gotcha.”

A knock at the door ended the awkward moment. Aria fled to the kitchen with the duffel bag. Sonata froze and stared at her sister as she calmly walked to the door.

“Hi, Ms. Dazzle?” queried the short man at the door. He held a folder and looked fairly stressed out, the kind of stress one gets when thousands of dollars that are supposed to be one place are not.

“Mr. Lock,” said Adagio as jovially as possible. “Call me Adagio.”

Mr. Lock took another look at his clipboard. “So, we have quite the conundrum on our hands don’t we.”

“We sure do. I have no idea what happened. I mean it’s a standing order right?” She turned to her sisters. Aria stood by the island mouthing “frying pan” while Sonata was across the doorway ready to jump in for support. “We still have that with our bank, don’t we girls,” asked Adagio. Her sisters merely nodded.

“Standing order? At a bank? I’m not sure what you mean by that.”

Adagio was stumped for this one. She hadn’t actually paid a rent in a long time. Luckily, Sonata was there in case everybody became equally clueless. She was the best at it.

“It’s like, uh… What’s it called?” said Sonata with a very tactical use of her absent-mindedness.

“A payment plan?”

Falling right into the siren’s non-musical trap, the dangerous girl could proceed. “That’s it! You are like so smart. How could you not know what a payment plan is?”

Adagio could roll with the plan now. “I bet it’s because he hasn’t spent much time being a landlord. I mean you can’t be more than what? Twenty-eight?” His clothing and lines suggested something closer to forty.

Some awkward shoulder movement and smile indicated a crack. Just what the Adagio needed. “You know what, why don’t you come in and have seat, my sister, Aria, can make you some tea.”

Mr. Lock was buttered up well enough to take this offer without hesitating. While Aria stared at cupboard trying to unlock ancient memories involving brewing tea, Sonata flipped the TV back on hoping to create as distracting as an environment possible for Lock.

“So, Mr. Lock, do you like cars?” asked Sonata in an attempt to find another weak point.

“I love cars, is that a 71’ GTO Judge?”

Adagio jumped back in to continue the assault. “Why it is. Where did you learn about cars?”

Aria rolled her eyes having abandoned any recollection of tea brewing in favor of popping in a K-cup. “I bet he learned from first-hand experience. He looks like he knows how to treat a fast and beautiful machine.”

Lock turned around to see the disingenuous girl. After about a second of staring, the memories came back to him. “You… you were at Walker’s place in Oregon. You were the one I lost Randy to.”

The sirens were dumbfounded. Aria was the first to respond to this accusation. “Uh, what the hell are you talking about?”

“You know damn well what I’m talking about! That dirty bitch rooster of yours’ killed Costantinos!”

“I honestly do not know what you are—”

“I lost three grand, my favorite gun, and my best gamecock all in the same hour!”

Adagio had to intervene. “Now, now, now, my little sis is only nineteen years old. She’s been living in this area since she was born. How could she have possibly been involved in… whatever you’re talking about?”

Lock turned away and sighed. “I’m sorry. She just looks so familiar. And that voice, that haunting voi—”

“Aria!” screamed Adagio upon seeing her rebellious and vengeful sister place an untamed blow upon Lock’s head with the frying pan.
The three girls gawked at the limp man now taking an obligatory intimacy with the floor. Without looking away from Lock, Adagio beckoned Sonata. “Get the duffel. We need to go.”

Sonata rushed into action while Adagio turned attention to Aria. “What the hell was that?”

“I have a plan Adagio. We just put him at the bottom of the stairs and he’ll think he fell.”

Adagio despaired at the ridiculous idea, not because of its absurdity, but because it was pretty close to what she was thinking. “No. We put him in his own bed. He’ll be more confused that way. I think he lives a few floors up. Go check.”

When the pan-wielder left the room, Adagio was left with just the TV on and a commercial actually caught her eye. “Fridays at 9:00. Bestselling author, Daring Do tackles the greatest mysteries of all time.”

Though the words didn’t strike her, the images did. Three all too familiar stones in a glass case flashed on the screen along with other priceless centerpieces that she couldn’t care less about. Rewind, play, rewind, play. They couldn’t be the same stones. “Aria, I need a second opinion.”

Aria came back in the room with an address and a grimace. “Well, we could kill him but the last time we did tha…” She trailed off at the sight of the pendants paused on the screen. “No way.”

Adagio regained a smile that hadn’t been present since their battle with the Rainbooms. “I think we need to give this show a watch. That is, after landlord over there is clueless again.”

Aria’s eyes were on the pendants again after a brief look back at Lock. “We should still get out of here though.”

“Obviously.”

Author's Note

Ladies and gentlemen, the immortal Dazzlings. I like'em determinately bad.

Brunch

“Hello. No one is available to take your call. Please leave a message after the tone.”

“Hi. I’m leaving this message for a Ms. Rainbow Dash, it’s Deathtrap Daisy from the crew of—”

Rainbow Dash grabbed the phone from its mount but failed to stop her own momentum from the dead sprint she engaged in to reach it. Luckily the damage was mainly just to the wall and her shoulder rather than the phone. “Daisy! It’s Dash.” Her introduction was interrupted by a round of deep breath. “I made it to the phone in time.”

“Right. I was calling to see if you and your friends would be willing to do another meeting.”

Barely after Daisy was finished with the request, Rainbow was ready with reply. “Of course! What did you want to talk about?”

“More about the investigation. We wanted to get you all talking together with a few other witnesses we met.”

Rainbow’s enthusiasm was dampened when she realized that it had to be about that. It made sense though. How could she complain?
“Sure. Sounds good. Where did you want to meet?”

“Canterlot Library. Tomorrow. 1100 hours. We’ll bring bagels and coffee. We also invited a few other people who went to your school also. Adagio, Aria, and Sonata. Do you know them?”

“They don’t ring a bell. I’m sure I’ll know them when I see them.”

And know them she did when Rainbow, Sunset, and Applejack arrived at the library program room. Three no-good faces practically ignored their looks of shock in favor of relaxing next to Daisy, Daring Do, Blazing Banner, and Constable Courage.

Adagio stoop up with a pseudo-warm “Hi besties!” The three sirens walked over to give their enemies three big disingenuous hugs.

Each of the girls escaped there rigid silence. Sunset was the first to say something. “Hi… You. How has it been?” Being a seasoned villain, Sunset knew to play the game. Rainbow however…

“Why the… you… you’re…”

“So excited to see you again!” finished Sonata, almost sincerely.

“Aww that’s adorable. Let’s get started. Bagels on the table if you’re interested.” Daisy was mildly amused by the odd meeting before her. “Let’s talk about the lights. I want you to outline your experiences. Paint a picture for us.”

Applejack started in the hopes to set a safe start for the conversation. “It wasn’t anything phenomenal. It could’ve been a comet or something.”

“But Applejack. We were freaking out. It was a huge light. Like a second moon,” added Adagio, intentionally exaggerating the situation.

Among the questions ringing throughout poor AJ’s head, how they knew her name took a back seat to why they were playing up the battle.

Sunset tried to retaliate. “We weren’t freaking out. It was just a crazy night.”

“You’re darn right it was a crazy night. It was like the end of the world.”

“I’m obliged to be skeptical for this sort of thing, Adagio, but you weren’t on that magic stuff were you?” Questioned Daring.

It was the sirens turn to be uneasy now.

“That’s not a thing,” said Aria as if they weren’t anywhere near the truth.

A prolonged pause stood stagnant over the room. Sonata didn’t like those. “Yeah. That’s not a thing.”

The three Rainbooms did not seem to know what to do. The surprise was enough, now they had to figure out their plan.

“Uhhhh… moving on then,” began Daring Do to put the final dagger in the silence. “I think we need to get something straight. None of you can be lying here. As of now, that is no longer an option for any of you. If there is something other than some preternatural phenomena going on and you knew it. There are serious consequences. Very serious.”

A simultaneous “Yes ma’am” came from both parties.

“Great. Let’s get back to event description then.”

Adagio started first to assert her dominance over Sunset, who was about to speak. “My sisters and I think that it was a big light. So powerful we could feel its energy.”

The three girls trying to keep the secret recognized the truth in this statement and sadly, to keep the Daring from thinking that they were lying, Sunset decided to go along with it. “Yup. As crazy as it sounds, that’s pretty close.”

“Adagio, you said you could feel it. Like heat?” Questioned Banner, who was all business in this context.

“Yeah, there was plenty of heat. Right girls?”

Banner thought on this for a second. “Daring we should bring in the ground crew on the school and base ourselves here for the next couple of weeks. This sounds like an atypical close encounter of the second kind. Those are rare enough that we can’t gloss over this with some quick interrogations and a proof of concept test. I recommend soil tests, get the Geiger counters, the whole enchilada.”

The Rainbooms didn’t like this idea at all, but the Dazzlings looked to be somewhat thrilled about this call. “Don’t forget the EMF meters,” chimed Sonata in a moment of surreal expertise on her part.

Daring looked at Banner. “You’ve really never seen a story like this before?”

“Not in the case of an already mass sighting, and never in the US from a group bigger than what can fit in a pickup.”

Daring shifted to the three human girls. “You can corroborate?”

Moment of truth for the girls. Rainbow was thinking of scenario one. What if they find nothing and her hero sees her as a liar? Applejack was on scenario two. What if they found the portal? What could happen to the world? Sunset was thinking about the third and most dangerous scenario. What was the sirens plan?

Reluctantly, Sunset was the first to say something. “What they said checks out. I felt the heat, saw the light. I was just worried you’d think we were crazy.”

Banner could understand. “You don’t have to feel that way in here. We’re all a little crazy here.”

As for the Dazzlings, this was all that they needed to hear. “It was great getting together with you guys but we really have to go about now, Sonata has an appointment and we all took the same car.”

“Are you sure you can’t stick around for just one question?” asked Sunset sorely wanting to deduce a little bit more about their motives.

“Nope. Very urgent. Catch up later,” they were out the door.

Adagio uttered a sigh of relief upon entering the girls’ Audi. The other two jumped in after a quick dispute for shotgun.

“Aria, did you check out their car?”

“Hyundai Equus. Tinted windows. It’s one of those cars they like to armor. Wouldn’t be surprised if they had important things in there. If not, the pendants.”

“Sonata, what were you able to get out of mustache?”

“Well his name is Constable. He likes cricket. He really didn’t want to be there.”

Adagio half expected a response like this. “About the pendants, Sonata.”

“Oh right. He said they were with the other ‘junk’ in the Renaissance downtown. I asked him if they used steel suitcases like in the movies and he said yes but that it was actually aluminum.”

“Fantastic. We’ve gotten into hotel rooms without issue befo—”

Adagio was paralyzed by a knock at the window. Sunset, Rainbow and Applejack stood at the door, eager for a confrontation. Adagio would have none of it. The sirens sped off without hesitation. No need to fight when they didn’t need to.

Author's Note

I envisioned the sirens in driving an Audi. I despair that I can't think of a particularly good villain car. What car would extradimmensional enchantresses drive?

Operation

The school was all aflutter with cameras, equipment, and people. Five or six students were assigned by principle Luna to loiter around the portal. Just to make sure none of the investigators got particularly close.

Sunset stood before the chaos in a state of anxiety. Each detail of the investigation was like a burden on her shoulders. All for Rainbow Dash, but her state was no better. She too felt the stress, seated on the curb. She didn’t feel like talking to her idols, learning about how they operate, or have any real fun at that moment.

“It’s pretty chaotic here,” said Sunset as she sat next to Rainbow on the curb. Behind her was the black van that Deathtrap Daisy and Daring Do were functioning out of.

“Yeah, at least if they’re here. I’m pretty sure the sirens won’t try to mess with anything,” added Rainbow.

Sunset was quick to reply. “Are you sure you should be mentioning you know who in front of the suspicious black van?”

“Don’t worry, they’re wearing those giant spy headsets that van people wear,” Rainbow turned to the side of the van. “Oh my God! UFO! It just took Flash – see nothing.”

Applejack cringed. “That still makes me nervous. Look at everything. It looks like there’s a hostage situation or somethin’. There’s a computer lab sitting in the middle of the football field.”

Constable and Banner pulled up in the armored car and stormed out with a steel suitcase. After bolting to the door of the van, they pounded on the door loud enough for the crew to hear regardless of headwear.

“Daring Do, we have a problem.” Banner said to the woman who opened the van’s door as he held an open and empty vessel. He and Constable were immediately pulled into the van.

The girls standing outside the van were terrified. It was abnormally quiet for a few seconds while Sunset, Rainbow and Applejack stared at the tense van. Sunset spoke up, “We have to tell them.”

Rainbow kicked on the door of the van with similar ferocity as Banner and Constable. The door opened to the stern face of an explorer whose net worth went down around $400,000. “What now!”

“I think we know what happened and I think I know how we can help,” Sunset was ready to come clean.

“So my gems were stolen by three mythological creatures from another world disguised as human girls.”

“Close enou—“

“And you yourself are some sort of extra-dimensional creature that has somehow assimilated perfectly to our society.”

“Well, there are some—“

“And your friends all have superhuman abilities because of magic rocks you wear around your necks.”

“Yeah!”

“Bull. Shit.” Daring Do was just about done with these insane, lying girls until Sunset grabbed her arm in a last ditch effort. She saw a flash of light and a stage, three vicious sea serpents dashed around her. She went further back. The adventurer felt a great sense of power and looked down upon six fearful teenage girls until she only saw the sky from the bottom of a pit. Her sight then turned to an alicorn, a term she suddenly knew. She felt Sunset’s frustration as well as all the awe she would feel upon seeing another world for the first time. Sunset knew what she had done so she released her grip.

Daring Do snapped out of her haze after a brief pause. “So, I guess that magic stuff must be absorbed through the skin. Daisy, grab me the Narcan pen and some charcoal.”

This frustrated Rainbow Dash. Just after Daisy could grab the needle, a bag of grilling charcoal landed at her feet. “There. That enough? If not, I could go back to the store and grab another.”

Banner, Constable and Daisy all stopped in their tracks. Daring looked somewhat unphased until she saw her colleagues. “Did you see it too?”

After a few quick nods, the adventurers were ready to negotiate with the teens. “All right. I’ll bite. I’m an open-minded person. Anything we can do to get those gems back that doesn’t make it look like I lost a priceless piece of history to three teenage girls?” Daring Do knew it might look bad that one of the greatest defenders of history in recent times lost one of her museum’s most prized possessions.

“It’s not that simple. The sirens are actually hundreds of years old and they want the gems because they think they can reclaim their mind control powers,” Sunset’s knees were pointing inward and her voice was crackling showing Daring Do and her posse that she was legitimately concerned.

“Mind control powers?” Daisy interjected. “Is that why they sing? They’re like—well sirens I guess. So we need ear protection.”

Applejack had an idea. “Y’all’s headsets—“

“We have enough for five of us.” Now Daisy was somewhat excited for the hunt. “Banner, could grab my Arctic Warfare from the van and the tranq darts we were gonna use on the Tasmanian Tiger?”

“That ain’t exactly what I had in mind. I reckon only one of us needs the headset and nobody needs to be tranquilized.”

A group of people between the size of a contingent and a mob walked down the middle of the street leading up to Canterlot High. At its epicenter walked three girls with renewed confidence. “So sis, do we want to add a few more to the entourage or is this a good enough human shield to get to their magic?” Questioned Aria.

“I think this is good. We went for the long term too much last time. Sometimes you just need to hold some unruly girls down with an angry mob until you can bleed them dry of magic.” Adagio realized the apparent risk to using brute force. At any other time they chose to use it, they usually had angry mobs turn on them in response. But in a scenario where everyone already knew who they were, it was the only option.

“Can we stop by a drive through Dagi?” It was taco Tuesday after all.

“Just because were enclosed and moving down a street does not mean were in a car, Sonata,” It crossed Adagio’s mind that if they were to gain enough power, they could split the world and not have to deal with each other. “Besides, we’re nearly at the school.”

Approaching the school, something that sounded like a blue jay cawed from behind one of the bushes twice. Adagio held up her wrist to stop everyone. “Aria, did you hear that?”

“Yeah. Kinda reminds me of… 1812? Are you implying were about to be attacked by Mohawk?” Aria questioned sarcastically.

“No, but I think whats-her-face is trying to show off her explorer experience a little too hard,” Adagio started into her singing voice:

I think we have a spy

Adventure chick, please rise

We’d just love to say hi

Daring Do arose “Yes Ma’am?”

“Wonderful, we have a few questions for you. We could start with what your plans might be for today?”

Deathtrap Daisy stormed into the gym. “I got the call. They’re here! There were two caws so they must have other people with them.”

On a small whiteboard were the words “Are you ready Rainbow?”

The sporty girl was in a sprinter’s pose in a track uniform with the headset duct taped to her head in multiple layers. A thumbs up indicated agreement.

Daring Do soon followed Daisy into the gym, “They’re by the statue. About six of them or so. Let’s start the ambush in the main lobby. I brought the AW in case we need it.”

Dash stood by the trophy case jogging in place while Daring do called a huddle. “All right, in case any of you guys need to use this I’m going to teach you right now. Load like this. The tranq darts are a little bigger. Aim with both eyes open. And…” A dart stuck right out of Rainbow Dash’s side. Daring Do knocked out Applejack with the stock immediately after she fired knowing that she had strength. She swung around with the rifle hitting Daisy on the side of the head. Constable knocked her down with two quick punches but it was too late. The sirens’ song began.

Rainbow Dash was already disoriented. Deathtrap Daisy’s ears were ringing. She saw the three sirens singing out commands to their new slaves. Banner grabbed Sunset Shimmer and several other strangers followed suit. Adagio mouthed words to her and pointed at Rainbow Dash. She staggered over to incapacitated girls as she started to gain back her hearing.

Upon reaching her, she stabbed Rainbow with the very needle that Daring Do had demanded to help treat what, at the time, she believed to be a Sunset Shimmer induced opioid trip. As Daisy passed out with the needle in her hand as Rainbow Dash awakened with unfettered rage.

Adagio, Aria and Sonata stood perfectly still in their ecstasy along with their frozen posse. Rainbow Dash rushed for their necklaces using the her speed. A few microseconds later, she freed Sunset and started to dial 911 for Applejack and Daisy before she realized that phones were not perfectly responsive.

The sirens finished blinking to find themselves in a very different situation. Coughing out a few last disjointed notes, they saw a very angry Rainbow Dash and a confused mob of people. The situation was all too familiar to them. They sprinted towards their car, but none could out-sprint an enraged Rainbow Dash.

Police were at the aftermath this time. They may not have wanted to reveal evidence of magic, but they did have two very bruised girls that were more than willing to testify that three teenage girls just seemed to snap under the pressure of having all the cameras and talk of aliens around.

Rainbow Dash and Sunset sat on the tailgate of an ambulance. The group of adventurers approached. Daring Do tossed a book into her lap. Subutai’s Blitz four months before its release date and Daring Do’s first attempt at alternate history. Before Rainbow even finished the cover she was already gone. On the inside of the cover, four signatures and the phrase “Sorry I shot you” filled the space. Daring always did have a difficult time apologizing.

Rainbow passed out. “Can we get that overdose pen back?” Yelled Sunset.

All of the Rainbooms sat on a couch ready for the new episode of Earth’s Enigmas. This one was special. This one was advertised for heavily, especially in the town.

“So they don’t get into too much detail of what we do here do they?” asked Rarity.

“We got Daring Do’s personal assurance that we appear as just really brave normal girls,” assured Sunset.

“Isn’t that pretty much what we are?” posited Applejack.

“I guess. We’re just awesome,” replied Rainbow.

Twilight was perhaps the most excited. “I can’t believe you guys met Daring Do!”

“I got a copy of Subutai’s Blitz for you too Twi.” Rainbow pulled the another signed copy from her coffee table. Twilight felt greatly tempted to watch it during the show.

“How many did they give you?” wondered Fluttershy.

“One for all of us who were there. Plus they covered my hospital bill,” Applejack had a slight grin about this. “We got like $6000 worth of stuff out of them.”

Rainbow smirked, “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I think that adventure was priceless.”

Daring Do and Deathtrap Daisy were staying in a shack. This time it wasn’t a tent in the Australian Outback or a Cave in Arizona, but a rather luxurious shack on a beach in Oahu. “Don’t you think it was a great idea to indulge Banner and do a ghosts of Pearl Harbor episode, Daring?” Daisy was unpacking onto her bed.

“I think I’m forced to agree, Daisy.” She stopped applying sunscreen to notice what Daisy was unpacking. “What did you bring the gun for this time? It’s brought us nothing but trouble in the past.”

“Banner wanted to go Megalodon hunting,” Daisy swiftly repacked it. “You’ve seen Jaws right?”

Just at the moment that Daring was about to roll her eyes, a shotgun blast blew the lock on the door. Banner kicked down the door and turned is back to the wall to face outside. Constable back peddled in firing a barrage of rounds outside with his sub-machine gun.

Banner looked at the girls with what could most easily be described as crazy marine eyes. “They’re here! I told you they were coming!”

Daring Do leaped into action towards the window. Mechanical suits and a hovering vessel scanned the beaches with strange tools in hand.

“They’ve trapped the whole state in a force field. We were at Wheeler Airfield when they attacked. The Navy is engaged off the coast,” Constable tossed Daring a handgun. Daisy unpacked her rifle again.

“Well. I guess it wouldn’t be a Daring Do Adventure if nothing preposterous happened,” Daring Do loaded up and grabbed her wip and hat. “Let’s dance.”