A Rainbow's Descent

Chapters

The Beginning
The Sketches
Chapter 3 - Guilt

The Beginning

…It’s not that I don’t believe my cutie mark is awesome. Hay, I know it’s awesome, and it’s got a pretty sweet story to go with it! I mean, a Sonic Rainboom? Who else can get their cutie mark with an awesome story like that? Not many, right?

So why do I keep leaving out everything except for the race that changed my life? Why don’t I talk about my fillyhood days with Fluttershy anymore?

…It’s because…uh…

It’s because…well…

….It’s because that was the time…I had also become a monster.

I was 7 when I got my cutie mark. In fact, I was the first one in my class to get it, and I felt pride through knowing that it wasn’t easy to top how awesome getting my cutie mark was. It felt so good just to win. But, the biggest worry my dad and I had was the fact that I had caused trouble for Cloudsdale, and that maybe it would affect how the judges saw me when I took my inevitable upcoming flight test.

Every little pegasus was expected to take it. There was no exception, and it was said that whatever the outcome you got would change your life for good. It wasn’t easy to sleep the night before, with that in mind haunting me.

To top off the nervousness, my dad seemed different that morning. Normally he wished me good luck with showers of love and praise, but that day he acted distant. It was like he was hiding something that was caught in his throat. He only waved goodbye to me after dropping me off at the testing area, which I found really weird. In a way, I kinda felt like maybe he didn’t trust that I would make it, even though I found out the real reason why later that day.

The test had pretty much everything to do with basic flying: Pulling up after a dive, going in circles around a bunch of clouds, the works. There was even some kind of obstacle course, too. It wasn’t anything new to me since I had been practicing endlessly and was pretty top notch compared to the rest of pegasi my age.

It didn’t surprise me that much, but I had passed with flying colors. Pfft, flying colors, get it? I crack myself up sometimes…

It was a perfect score, and suddenly everything was right in the world again. My dad rushed up to me and spun me around in his forelegs saying “I knew you could do it, Dashie! You’ve made your dad so proud of you!” or something akin to that. Whatever had bugged dad so much seemed to pass with my resulting score, but all I knew was that it felt so good just to win.

Unfortunately, Fluttershy wasn’t so lucky. She never was the strongest flyer, and it showed in her scores. She had struggled with maintaining flight as she was supposed to pull back up after diving from the launching cloud, and ended up slamming face-first into a mess of clouds below. It wasn’t cool seeing how disappointed she was in herself. I thought that while she did mess up big time, she had the potential to really become stronger if it wasn’t for her silly social anxiety problem. At least back then I just labeled it silly.

I didn’t see the forlorn look in my dad’s eyes until after Fluttershy was led away from the testing grounds by a bunch of other pegasi staff. Normally that’s the last time you ever see a filly or colt who failed, but I wasn’t willing to give up on Fluttershy that easily.

…That’s what I’d like to say, anyway. To be honest, I wasn’t sure what was gonna happen to her, and if my dad wasn’t in charge of that, I probably would’ve never known. After the rest of the flight test results came out, my dad seemed reserved again as he led me to follow him. It was weird to me that we were going the same direction that those who failed, but I was happy to get another chance to see Fluttershy again.

She just needed a few words of encouragement, that’s all.

…Boy was I wrong.

I never understood what being a Superior Supervisor of the Weather Factory of Cloudsdale entailed. I didn’t know what kind of work my dad did. I just thought it had something to do with clouds or something. So, I was pretty surprised when we rode some weird cart thing to the back entrance of the Weather Factory, all of the failures sitting in the back and away from view of the front. I would’ve liked to talk to Fluttershy as much as possible, but dad told me not to open my mouth and to keep quiet for now.

Once the cart stopped, dad got out and lifted me out of the front seat, taking us both inside the back door. It was weird that he would leave Fluttershy and the others out there alone, but I also saw another group of mares and stallions heading out and starting to load the cart inside the factory. So it turned out they weren’t alone.

My dad led me to a room that smelled funny, like a hospital, and then he started putting this weird mask over his face and covering his mane and wings. He even slipped on a coat that hid his awesome prismatic tail. After he did all that, he picked up what looked like a smaller set of the same stuff and held them out to me.

“Here, Dashie. Put these on.” I thought he was crazy telling me to cover my wings as well as my awesome mane. I was always told to be proud of it, so how could I hide it? I asked him why, but that only made him annoyed at me as he pushed the stuff in my direction again, not even bothering to give me an answer.

This wasn’t how Dad usually acted towards me. Figuring I’d best get it over with, I started to put on the funny stretchy fabric: covering my muzzle, over the wings, flattening my mane with a solid white cover. Now I smelled like a hospital. Seeing as how I never grew fond of hospitals, I was feeling pretty grumpy after what should’ve been an awesome rest of the day. But I didn’t want to make Dad madder than he already was, for some strange reason.

“Alright, follow me, Dashie. Your Dad’s going to show you where he works. One day, you’ll be the Superior Supervisor, after all.” My Dad walked out of the room and held the door open for me to make my way out, in all my hospital smelling glory. “What was the point of all of this?” I had asked him being a complete grouch.

Dad simply chuckled as he led me from the back of the Weather Factory to what looked like an entrance into another facility. “Well, Dashie…have you ever wondered where rainbows come from?” I didn’t really like the look he was giving me at that point. He was grinning at me, but somehow it seemed…wrong. Not like Dad at all, but in a way he was still Dad. It was a weird feeling as I simply cocked my head to the side in a state of confusion.

“Uhh…the sky? Duh?” To be honest, I didn’t really know much about rainbows other than the fact that the Weather Factory made all kinds of weather, so rainbows was probably one of them. They poured out into the main part of the Factory; I remembered from a tour of my Dad’s work a year ago. Seeing as how I had already seen Dad’s work, it was kinda creepy that he was giving some kind of display like I was gonna be shocked about how he can calculate how many clouds were needed for the upcoming snow orders!

“Hah, the sky…?” Dad laughed at me for a bit before turning towards the ominous door in front of us. “…You’ll find out soon enough, so…pay attention to what you see. You’ll have to learn its ways, too.” Like that wasn’t creepy, Dad? Thanks a lot. I rolled my eyes as he pulled out what looked like a card before sliding it into the door slot, the freaky door suddenly sliding open on its own right in front of me.

The outside looked pitch black, but I could definitely hear something running in there. Some machine, with its clanging and puffing was at working doing something. I looked up at my Dad once more, feeling a little uneasy about the whole thing. At that moment, I just wanted to be home in my room, with my Wonderbolts collection and cushy cloud blankets. I wished for comfort since my Dad was leading me into some weird creepy place, and I didn’t know what was going to happen to me.

For once in my life, I felt a sense of fear towards my Dad. My Dad, who stayed by my side throughout the pain of growing up without a Mom, who cooked me three meals a day and took time out of his day to just sit around and play with me, despite all the trouble I put him through with my stubborn attitude and habit to get into fights. I had never appreciated it enough.

And I believed I would never appreciate it again.

As my Dad prompted me inside the doorway with his wings, I saw that there was, indeed, a large metal machine inside the area, but there was much more to it than what I saw at first glance. When I looked again, I saw a tube filled with a red vibrant color screwed into the wall of the darkly lit room, going into what looked like another hallway just ahead of the main entrance. Without warning, I started running ahead of my Dad even when he told me not to. I kept my stare on the slushing red liquid that ran through the tube until my Dad caught up with me and held his wing out in front of me. “When I tell you to stop, young missy, you stop! We’re already stalling as it is! I can’t have you running around the Factory on your own!”

I blinked. “So, this is also a factory? I thought the only factory around here was the Weather Factory?” I didn’t know at the time that this was still the Weather Factory; just that it was a place hidden inside it. “And what does this place have to do with rainbows?” I started a slow trot just behind him, making sure we wouldn’t lose sight of each other.

My Dad gave a sigh before looking ahead of the dark hallway in front of us. “…All of your questions will be answered soon, Dashie. Just…hang on for a moment.” Part of me wondered if my Dad was hesitating somewhat as he guided me towards the center of the machine. Dark shadows loomed over us as we passed through another tunnel, the only light being from the tubes full of bright vibrant colors.
“…What is that, anyway, Dad?” I questioned him, my eyes never leaving the tube. “Why does it look so cool?” In retrospect, ‘cool’ was probably not the best word to use for it, but being a filly, I knew nothing about what it was being used for. Dad shook his head as he kept close to my side.

“…I told you, all your questions will be answered in a moment. Right now we shouldn’t delay.” I blinked in confusion before turning my face into a stubborn frown. To be honest, I wasn’t and still am not a fan of surprises. I can’t take it from Discord without freaking out, and generally I don’t like the unexpected…except when it’s me pulling a prank on them.

Then it’s funny.

…But what my Dad was about to show me was nowhere NEAR funny.

Opening what looked like another set of double doors, we walked into the sound of water slushing with the turning of gears, the whirring of a machine coming to life, and a constant clanking sound as gray tables moved in a line in unison. The machine I had saw at the beginning rested here: This was the heart of the tubes of colors. All aligned in a row, I saw red, blue, yellow, green, purple, and orange of the most vibrant depth flowing in their own individual tubes throughout the ceiling, the walls, along the side of the designated walkways…

And the surprising thing about it was the fact that it was the most terrifying yet awesome thing I had ever witnessed. My mouth sat wide open as my Dad simply continued to walk on, as if such a sight was normal to him. “…Dashie…welcome to the Rainbow Factory.” His voice sounded cold and barren, almost tired as I closed my mouth and looked up at his form.

“…The Rainbow Factory? What kinda factory is that?” I frowned towards him, keeping my hooves in one spot. My Dad turned around and was about to answer, but the sudden whirring of a metal door sliding open caught his attention. I felt kinda neglected as he went to go talk with these other ponies all covered up in white hospital stuff, just like we were, so I just kinda swayed in place as I took in my surroundings once more.

Something was coming closer out of those metal doors. Some small bundle lay still on the moving metal table, another coming just right after it in a line. “Hmm…” I proceeded to get closer to the moving table to get a better look at what was there. It was something…small…with wings?

My eyes widened. It was a pegasus colt on that table.

“H-Hey, you okay? Wake up!” I called out to the colt on the table, but for reasons I didn’t know, he wouldn’t budge. His eyes were open, though. Emerald orbs connected with my own rose-colored eyes as my entire being filled up with uncertainty.

He was scared…too scared to say anything back to me.

“Hey! I told you not to run off!” My Dad quickly flew towards me and stood in between me and the table. Honestly, that was an insult, and all I could think at that point was that Dad was in the middle of something bad! “…But Dad, he’s scared! What are you doing to the poor guy?!” I stood up in defiance. There was no way I was going to let him keep on doing what he was doing.

In a way, I had struck a chord. My Dad’s ears folded back a bit before he met my eyes with a face that was nothing like the father that I knew. My Dad was energetic, encouraging, the kind every little filly would want as a dad! Plus, he was a good cook to boot! This stallion was tired, stressed, depressed, and a little coo-coo in the head!

“…Dashie. This is your father’s work. This is what the Superior Supervisor does.” His stance grew firmer than it was. “The Rainbow Factory is a tradition formed by our Commander Hurricane, and passed through our family line since its founding. Currently it is in my hooves, but eventually, you must learn the trade.”

That just made me mad. “So what does some family thing have to do with the poor colt on the table, huh?!” I huffed and glared at him, lowering my head as if I planned to charge him. I felt he deserved it, too. And then he had to drop the bomb on me.

“…Dashie…the purpose of the Rainbow Factory is to produce spectra enough to give rainbows to the whole of Equestria. The reason this colt is here…” I weakened my stance as I saw him bite his lip. “…Is because spectra is the lifeblood of ponies, and it is the most fresh when they are young. We aim for the most fresh because it uses up fewer ponies in the long run.”

I had never heard such sickening words before in my life. “…W-What are you saying…? You’re killing little fillies and colts…? Fillies like me…?” I stepped back from the stallion that I saw as my Dad, terror in my eyes. Our attention was drawn from each other by the whirring of the machine, a deafening scream echoing through my ears as I heard the sounds of bones crushing and grinding together, and I could no longer see the pony that was on the table.

And it tore me apart. I just sat there without a word as another deafening scream rang in my ears, my eyes scarred by the sight of death most gruesome. There were corners of the machine where all I saw was deep red and crushed feathers before it made its rotation, clean as it was before. It was like there wasn’t a pony there to begin with.

I saw a yellow pegasus with a long pink mane appear through the metal doors.

“NO!!! NO!!!” I rushed to the side of the table and forcefully pulled my delicate fillyhood friend away from the horrors of the machine, another colt moving past us to take her place. “YOU CAN’T KILL FLUTTERSHY!!!” My eyes filled up with tears as I held her as tight as I could in desperation. No matter what, I never wanted my Dad to take away Fluttershy. I didn’t want to watch her go through the same horrible death I had seen so many others face.

Dad frowned at me. “…Dashie, she failed her flight test. Unfortunately, that means there’s no purpose for her when she’s alive.” It sounded like some kinda rationality he rehearsed just to be able to explain things to me. It was without feeling. But I wasn’t willing to listen, not to this.

“I DON’T CARE! YOU’RE NOT GONNA TAKE FLUTTERSHY!” I sobbed uncontrollably, my tears matting the side of my friend’s head, but it seemed like she had fallen unconscious. I would’ve been scared too, if I had ever been in her situation. But no, I just had to win. It always felt good to win, even when the prize was to watch the failures die by your own Dad’s hooves. “No…no…no…” My body curled tighter as I tried to shut away the sound of the scary machine, the flowing of the spectra which I thought was AWESOME at first, the screams that bounced off the ceilings and the walls, just…anything to get away from the nightmare that had me.

Dad sat down next to me and gave a deep sigh. “…Dashie…-“

“NO! I DON’T WANNA TALK TO YOU! YOU’LL TAKE FLUTTERSHY AWAY!” I hollered as I shook my head frantically, the tears now rubbing into Fluttershy’s mane. Back then, I wasn’t willing to listen to reason. I wanted nothing to do with my Dad at that moment.
“…Fine.” That one word rang through my ears. Was it a threat? Was he gonna try something else? Throw me into the machine next? I didn’t know the context behind it, so I sat there without a word, my grip on my friend never faltering as I shivered on the cold hard floor of the factory.

Dad winced as his body took a stance of defeat, shaking his own head. “…I’ll let you spare Fluttershy’s life. I’ll tweak her results…but I can’t do anything after that! I can’t spare any more than that, Dashie! Please, understand?” I never did get what my Dad was thinking, trying to reason with a mentally traumatized 7-year old pegasus filly about allowing a bunch of other fillies and colts to be killed in front of her eyes.

And the worst part was that he expected her to do it, too.

…And yet I couldn’t bring myself to hate him. Despite all the creepiness, this was still my Dad. “…Okay.” I whispered as my grip on Fluttershy loosened just a bit, before I tightened it again. What if it was a trick? Could I really trust my Dad anymore after all this? My eyes filled with paranoia, and my Dad could see it. With a deep sigh, Dad lowered his head to me and with the most resigned tone I’ve ever heard his voice, he spoke.

“…I pledge by the love I have for you, the love I had for your mother, and everything I hold dear in my despicable life…that Fluttershy will not come to harm. I will not let her fall to the Rainbow Factory. But in exchange, you must be willing to harden your own heart. No pony else shall be spared. We can’t keep making those kinds of sacrifices.” His eyes met mine in a deep desperate gaze. “You must be willing…Dashie…to take the Factory into your own hooves, and to learn our family’s trade.

…What was I supposed to say? I could clearly see the pain in my Dad’s eyes, and he was willing to listen to me. He was willing to spare Fluttershy, and no scream ringing in my ears was worth the pain of ever watching her go through that pain.

…Even my innocence wasn’t worth that.

My rose-colored eyes filled with a new sense of determination. Somehow, amongst all the screaming and the pain…I found strength. “…Okay…” I swallowed a huge lump in my throat. “…I’ll take it, but no matter what…Fluttershy stays out of this! I don’t wanna watch her die! I don’t even want her involved!” I stomped my hoof for emphasis.

My Dad gave a weak smile as he lifted his head. “…You and me both, to be honest…but I’ve got a flight test score to edit, and you’ve got a young filly to take back home. I’ll let the rest of the staff know. Try to slip her into her parent’s house without them noticing you.” He turned away and stopped short. “…From now on, you’re officially one of us. Absolutely not a word gets out to anypony, Rainbow Dash. Or to any other kind of creature, not a soul…” The warning tone in his voice pretty much said it all.

…Every single death that happened in the Rainbow Factory was now officially affiliated with me.

And you know what? As long as Fluttershy was safe from it all, that was okay with me. So long as she didn’t have to face it. As I slipped out of the factory by my Dad’s instructions, I gave a deep sigh as I supported the tired timid pegasus that was resting on my back. Since I was now a staff member, I was given a card key that allowed me to enter or exit anytime I wanted to.

…Maybe I should’ve reported what I saw. Maybe I should’ve brought it up to the Princesses, or to anypony of high authority. But doing that would’ve betrayed the trust my Dad held in me, and really, that’s all I had for family. My Dad was all I had besides Fluttershy. Not to mention the fact that if my Dad and his staff were caught, I’d also be turning myself in to possible execution. I joked about life and death situations with others my age, but in reality it was no joking matter. If I said a word to anypony about the Rainbow Factory, it could eventually decide my own death sentence.

…And so I vowed to myself that I would never say a word. Not to Fluttershy, or to anypony else I would meet throughout my lifetime.

Without a sound, I slipped into Fluttershy’s room through the pink curtained window, and gently settled down my precious friend, her mane sinking into the white cloud covers as I tucked her into bed with a buttermilk blanket.

Fluttershy gave a deep sigh as she felt the comforts of home surrounding her. I bit my lip. She was most likely going to wake up any time soon, and I still smelled like a hospital, so I quickly slipped out of the room, and hid underneath the window just outside. It was muffled, but I thought I heard her yawning as she must’ve lifted herself from the covers, her yellow wings fluttering in a natural motion.

“Fluttershy! There you are!” I heard a stallion’s voice from inside the house; most likely it was Fluttershy’s Dad rushing to her bedside. “How did your test go? Did you pass?” I already knew that Dad had changed the results, and Fluttershy was most likely not going to say anything about it. What she must’ve faced might’ve been too traumatizing to handle.

I heard a weak, timid voice. “U-u-um…I-I…I don’t wanna…I don’t wanna talk about it. I don’t know what my result was. I-I…I left before they could give it to me.” I knew it was a lie, but somehow I expected things would be this way. If something was too scary, you might end up blocking out a part of your memory in order to defend yourself.

Breathing a small sigh of relief, I let out a silent hope to the stars that she would remain oblivious until her test results would reassure her. Then there’d be no reason to worry, and Fluttershy would stay safe. And as long as she passed this hurdle in life without complications, there shouldn’t be any reason at all for her to look back. With that in mind, I made an effort to fly back towards the direction of the Weather Factory, where I knew my Dad was most likely waiting for me.

…If I was to take on the burden of providing rainbows to Equestria, I didn’t want anypony dear to me involved. As soon as I learned my trade, I felt that it should be my burden to carry alone. After all, Dad was obviously hurting inside from having to deal with the weight of the Factory’s actions. If I could take that burden from him…then the only one who would face possible execution would be me. No pony else would have to get hurt.

…All I needed to do was learn my trade, first. I had to harden my heart in the face of death.

My Dad waved at me from the front of the darkened hallway as the doors slid open. It turned out that my card key was working okay, but I already found that out when I was sneaking Fluttershy back to her parents. “Welcome back, Dashie. Did she get to her parents alright?” My Dad’s voice was light-hearted again, and I could see the love and concern he actually held for my friend. He never truly wanted to hurt her.

“…I’m back, Dad. Nopony saw me.” I looked up at him with a small frown, my eyes wavering towards the inside of the factory. “…Can we go home now? I don’t wanna smell like a hospital anymore.” I blinked as my Dad starting laughing, his hoof starting to peel the stuff off of his muzzle, freeing his mane. “…Yeah, we can go home, Dashie. You’ll need your sleep for your training tomorrow. I gotta teach you how to use this stuff.”

I had never thrown anything off faster in my life. “YES!” I proceeded to pull off the white covers that made it harder to fly, the stupid cover that was restricting my mane and making my head itchy, the white stuff on the tail…I was just happy to pull all of that off, and having to chance to embrace my sky-blue rainbow-maned self again. “Those were horrible to keep on! And some of the stuff seemed way too big!”

We continued to laugh as the white covers were put back on the shelf after being sterilized, my little hooves constantly following after my Dad’s. “Yeah, it was pretty horrible. But you gotta put the same stuff on tomorrow, you know.” He grinned as he opened the door outside of the storage room.

I groaned at the thought. “Ugh…but that’s tomorrow! Right now we can go home, and then I want to snuggle with my Wonderbolts plush!” I didn’t care how childish I was being at that time. For one thing, I was 7, and for another, I saw pretty horrible things which put me in a bad mood. Dad just laughed again. It kinda felt good just to laugh. No sinister thoughts, no suffocating desires to win, just…Dad and I having a good time.

We approached our house. As far as locations go, it wasn’t in a bad location. Not too far from the Weather Factory, only a fair distance from the ground (Not as close as Fluttershy’s house), and we even had a shopping department nearby if we wanted to get takeout or Dad wanted to cook something. All in all, it was a sweet pad. Plenty of room for a growing pegasus filly and her father to just chill.

As Dad closed the door behind us once we got in without any annoying factory junk, he took a moment to lean against the door while I quickly put his work bag down and rushed up to the second floor. We had a flight of stairs, but I really didn’t see the point in having them in a cloud house. Then again, Fluttershy uses them often when she comes over to my house. So I supposed there was a good purpose to them.

There was a good purpose in keeping Fluttershy, too. She may not be the best flyer, but she was the first friend I had, and I cherished her for who she was. Nothing should come between that. Not even for the whole of Equestria. Even if the Rainbow Factory needed foals and probably wouldn’t understand it, I held my precious friend close to my heart. I needed her just as she needed me to protect her from all the bad in the world. Just…maybe even now I haven’t expressed it enough.

Heading to my own room and shutting the door behind me, I was greeted with a “poof” sound. That’s…not very satisfying when you feel pretty down and you wanna just shut the world away for the rest of the night. I let out a small whine of frustration as I quickly hopped into the comforts of my own cloud bed, and squeezed the nearest Wonderbolt plush I could find on my bed.

…Wind Rider it was then. Thinking back on it, hugging him shouldn’t have been that satisfying knowing how he really is, but as a filly, I didn’t care if I was crushing him or not. I just wanted some form of comfort from the screams of terror that continued to ring through my head even after I tore the white covers from my wings. It was guilt for what I had seen and agreed to, I was sure of it. For some strange reason, it didn’t feel like I was 7 anymore. I felt tired, stressed, and sick of myself, kinda like my Dad was.

…I didn’t get any sleep that night…Nothing peaceful, anyway. And from that day forward I never did get peaceful dreams. Except when I was lucky enough to get one full of combat. If I wasn’t fighting…I’d usually be crying. The next day was going to be my first day of training, and I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to stomach it or not. My Dad was able to, and part of me thought that mentally I was stronger than him, but even now I’m not so sure.

...I just take each day with a grain of salt.

Author's Note

Testing the waters here. I've been working on this from time to time; I've been pretty busy with school. Please let me know what you think. ^^

The Sketches

Despite all the laughter we shared last night, breakfast wasn’t all that exciting. It kinda felt like there was a heavy rain cloud over our heads as I proceeded to shove the plate of food into my mouth. Looking up towards my Dad, I could see that he too didn’t get any sleep. It was almost funny; we were like painfully slow old ponies. As for me, I never did like mornings, even when I was younger.

I swallowed my food along with a lump in my throat. “…Dad?” He shifted his head to look at me, trying to put a small smile on his face. “…Yeah? What is it, Dashie? If you want seconds, there’s plenty left to go around.” I shook my head. I actually wasn’t that hungry for hayburger, despite it being one of my favorite foods since I was younger.

“…I don’t feel like going to school today.” I mumbled as I lowered my head. Obviously I was feeling just fine, but…somehow seeing Fluttershy alright in class right after her fate was almost sealed by my Dad’s hooves felt sickening. It was like I was the one who tried to kill her. To see her now…it felt wrong. My Dad gave a deep sigh before starting to clear the table of the mess from breakfast. “…Dashie, as much as I’d love you to be comfortable…I can’t let you avoid this. If you were to miss school, and then someone sees you out with me heading towards my work, they’d question things, right? I can’t let you miss school if you’re not truly sick. ” The dishes clattered in front of me in a stacked pile.
“Not to mention you have your first day of training today. If you can go to that, then school would expect you to be there.”

I nodded slowly. It wasn’t worth fighting over. “…I’ll…get my bag ready, then. I’ll see you at the door, Dad.” I slipped from the table, and flew towards my bedroom on the second floor, opening the door. Overnight, it seemed I tossed around my toys that were sitting on the bed, and it looked like the blanket had gone through Tartarus with how much I chewed it up. I reached under the bed for a darker blue book bag that had the Wonderbolt symbol on it: one of my many collectables from birthdays, Hearth Warming’s Eve presents, and so on. It was one of the bags I had, so I used it to hold my school stuff.

Slinging it across my back behind my wings, I started the trip back down to the first floor where my Dad was waiting for me at the door with his own work bag. “…Ready to go, Dashie?” He asked me as he got ready to move. At this point, I didn’t wanna grace him with an answer. I already said my piece. And yet I did. “…Yeah. I’m ready.” I shifted the weight of the bag on my back, making sure that it wouldn’t obstruct my wings.

And with that, we were off. I followed closely to my Dad as he glided with the wind, letting the chilly air flow through his feathers as we both felt a sense of freedom. While my Dad never was big on the whole racing thing like I was, he just loved to be able to enjoy some leisure pleasures right up there in the sky, with no one to hold him down. I loved being able to fly with my Dad like this, and if it wasn’t for schedules I would’ve stuck with him even longer before he had to go to work. But, I needed to go to school whether I liked it or not, and he needed to get to his daytime job: Organizing clouds for each district in the Weather Factory Company.

It didn’t feel good to separate. “Well, I’ll see you tonight, Dashie. Meet me after school at my office, alright? You know where it is.” My Dad smiled at me before he gave a small kiss on my head. Normally I’d brush it off and whine about how he was babying me, but somehow it felt like it was what I needed at the time. “...Okay. Good luck at work, Dad.” I gave him a smile back, and he had to turn away and leave for the Weather Factory. Hearing the ringing of a bell, I gave a deep sigh before turning my body around to face the building in front of me: The Cloudsdale Primary School.

…I never did like the schools Cloudsdale had to offer. Despite being a school filled solely with pegasi, they had a stupid rule where you couldn’t fly in the halls or the classrooms, and each pegasus had to learn the exact same boring way. It was frustrating how traditional Pegasi have been, since the beginning of Equestria. I suppose it has to do with the fact that we’re actually a military-based society. We focus on leadership, and even now I throw those principles into my own individual training I put myself and others through when necessary.

It didn’t take long for me at all to get settled in my seat. Pulling the book for the first class out, I sighed again as I rested my head on the desk. It wasn’t as comforting as a cloud bed, but I just didn’t wanna bother with the class. Half of the fillies and colts didn’t put forth the effort to study anyway, so we never actually got anything accomplished. I hated this style of learning.

Despite that, Fluttershy would always still try to get a lesson out of each day. She never spoke out or participated in class readings, but she would always make sure to produce quality work. If I had known my style of learning before, maybe I could’ve put forth more effort, but I instead dedicated myself to doodling things.

I drew gears, and some kind of rotating thing that had a bucket above it. Frowning at the weirdness of it, I frantically erased it and started another sketch. This time it had a bucket, some kind of wheel, and a bunch of gears at the sides. I had no idea what the hay I was trying to make, but each time I’d try to improve the design.

Without realizing how much time had passed, the teacher closed her book and signaled the end of class. It was now time to pull out another book. I pulled out the right book, but I just settled it on my desk and got back to my own little project. Something was coming out of this, but I wasn’t sure what it was gonna do, or why I was even sketching when I usually didn’t. All that ran through my head was the sound of the gears as the colt screamed, the colors flowing through the tubes…I shook my head frantically.

The teacher caught me doing so. “Is there something you’d like to say, Miss Dash?” She sounded annoyed as she looked my direction. I blinked before looking at the textbook sitting on my desk. “U-Uh…well…” I didn’t even know what the hay we were studying. “…Y-Yeah! Your lessons are too boring! You suck!” I blurted out, which was probably not the best decision since it caused her wings to flare up in rage while the rest of the class applauded me. The applause felt nice, and the teacher glaring at me didn’t feel scary at all.

“Miss Dash! Get out and stand in the hall until the end of class! I want to have a talk with you, young missy!” I didn’t really like the sound of punishment and my Dad wouldn’t be happy, but I also had a pretty bad temper, and I didn’t have anything to lash my frustrations on other than some lame pillows. “Excuse me, ’Young missy’? Who do you think you are, my grandma? You look old enough!” I really should’ve kept my mouth shut, but I had already dug myself into a hole.

“Well I never! Go to the principal’s office right NOW, and no lunch for you!” I made her pretty mad, but I didn’t think she’d cut my lunch. Frustrated, I shoved my stuff back into my bag and stormed out of the classroom. I was an idiot back then, and I really didn’t care for the rules and regulations of the school.

Obviously I didn’t go to the office where more trouble would be waiting for me, so I just wandered the school until I reached a darker stairway with a solitary classroom that hadn’t been used in a while. Some fillies and colts before said it was haunted, but I never bothered to check the place out myself until that moment.

It was the perfect place to just, chill…and have some time to myself. If I was going to be involved with the Rainbow Factory, I had to avoid suspicion, but being a delinquent…I probably wasn’t doing a good job of it in retrospect…if it wasn’t for that room, I probably wouldn’t be where I am today, though…

…Maybe I would’ve sought help after all.

I pulled out the sketches I was working on and put another addition to it. It was starting to come together into something…a bucket attached to the back of some wheel with tubes coming out of it and going…somewhere…I gave a deep sigh as I dropped the pencil on top of my weird design. “…What am I doing…? Dad’s gonna kill me if he finds out I insulted the teacher and called her an old hag…”

I was scared of the consequences, sure, but that didn’t stop me from breaking any more rules. I suppose it’s because I’m kinda rebellious by nature. For some strange reason, I couldn’t get out of my head just how swiftly the wheels turned as it crushed the bones of the young pegasus colt. How fast the spectra flowed through the tubes…it was horrifying, just how quickly a child could be killed…and then left without a trace to be discovered.

I stayed in that room by myself until I heard the bell ringing signaling that it was time to go home. Peeking through the windows I saw pegasi fillies and colts hanging out with each other, laughing and playing games. The pegasi who failed their flight tests would never see daylight again. Or maybe they would, flying through the sky as one with the rainbow. My stomach lurched as I felt sick for thinking such a thing. Those pegasi had families who would miss them, and if I didn’t stop Dad from– I emptied out my stomach with a disgusting feeling lingering in my mouth.

It probably wasn’t a good idea to leave the room like that, so I found a mop real quick and started to clean up the mess I made. Eventually I would need to leave this place and meet up with my Dad at his office. And after that…we’d go back into the Rainbow Factory, where those machines would turn, the wheel would crush bones, and the spectra would flow. It would just keep on going, going, going…

I shook my head as I put the mop back where I got it from after rinsing it out, quickly heading down the shadowed out hallway, and quick to merge with the group of other fillies and colts as I reached the front entrance enough to slip through without any of the school staff noticing me. I was a blur of colors, and my destination was the deep, deep shadows that lurked inside the confines of the Weather Factory.

It appeared before me quickly. I landed on the soft clouds, the gentle feeling of comfort almost mocking me as I passed through the main entrance, and with small banter with the pony by the desk, I was on my way towards my Dad’s office, just as we agreed I would. When I reached the right room, I saw my Dad shoving some papers into a clear file before stacking things together, finishing things up for the day. When he noticed me standing there, he graced me with a smile. “Dashie, you made it! How was school?” I could understand him being curious, but I really didn’t have anything to say. For one thing, I cut class most of the day.

“…Eh, it was school. Not much else to say about it.” I figured it’d only make things harder if my Dad had to deal with my delinquency. So, I figured that maybe it was best to just leave him out of the whole thing. He didn’t seem to mind as he nodded his head. “Alright, that’s fine.” He took the time to stretch out his wings and his back. “Ah! Well, shall we be going?”

I nodded. “Yeah, there’s probably a lot to learn, right? We only got so much time.” Granted I wasn’t really excited to learn how to kill fillies and colts, but this was my trade, and I needed to take an apprenticeship in it…whether I liked it or not. Once again, I followed my Dad towards the entrance to the factory, only this time I also had my own card key out. Once Dad slipped through, the doors shut again and it was my turn. I slipped the card key through the slot, and the factory opened for me. I was now part of it, as it was becoming a part of me. The spectra flowed through the tubes in an undisturbed rhythm as it twisted and rocked back and forth in its container.

I watched it without a word as I walked, cocking my head to the side. “…Why didn’t we grab those white covers like we did before, Dad?” He continued to walk through until he stopped short to point a hoof at a door located at the side. “Well, now that you’re part of us, I had a special set ordered last night. You get to wear one of our official uniforms now instead of the lab protection equipment provided by the General Cloudsdale Weather Factory. And don’t worry; this stuff is a lot more comfortable on the wings.”

I blinked and started to follow him again. “Okay…” So it turned out not everything was gonna be the same from yesterday, but I had to make sure of something. “…Are we still gonna cover our wings? That was lame.” Dad shook his head.

“Nope, we still have to cover up. The center of the Rainbow Factory and its staff is the principle of anonymity.” He held up a hoof for emphasis. Back then, I didn’t really understand what anonymity was or what it meant. “…Meaning…?”

He sighed at me as he nuzzled my cheek. “Anonymity is the concept of hiding your identity when you do your work. This is very illegal stuff, Dashie, and we don’t want the royal authorities of Equestria to find out about us. By covering ourselves, we don’t allow for ponies to find out who are the masterminds, and in that way, we are safe to continue our work for the sake of Equestria. Without rainbows, Equestria would only fall apart. Do not show your identity to anypony outside the factory.”

I nodded in understanding. Keeping one’s identity secret was a pretty big deal. “Yeah, I get it. So, where is this so called ‘uniform’?” Dad walked on towards the side door and slid a card through the door slot. With a weird ‘ping’ sound, the door opened, and we walked in. The inside of the place kinda looked like the storage facility that held the other equipment, but there were a lot of coats on hangers as well as individual sets of goggles and wing covers.

Dad stopped towards a row that had the number 246 on it before reaching a hoof in. He pulled out what looked like a wrapped package of a white bundle, and proceeded to look it over. “Hmm…” This continued for a while until he suddenly held the set towards me. “Alright, it’s all yours, Dashie. Try it on.” I blinked at the bundle before settling down on my hind-hooves, my tail hitting the floor as I reached for the package. There was a flap that I just needed to lift, so there was no need to tear the package with my teeth.

Reaching into it and pulling the white bundle out, I looked over what looked like a white pristine lab coat with several pockets in it, a pair of safety goggles, a pair of white soft wing covers, and lastly, a gold plate badge that had words carved into it.

“…App…ren…Apprenticeship S.S.? What the hay is that supposed to mean?” I looked up at my Dad in a state of confusion and a bit of annoyance. Dad simply leaned closer to me and smiled softly. “…Apprenticeship Superior Supervisor. You’ll be working directly under me, and eventually…you’ll take my place as the Superior Supervisor.” I couldn’t blame him for sounding hopeful like that.

I nodded. “Right, uh…how do you put this on?” Dad chuckled before pulling out his own uniform set. “Alright, you’re gonna watch me put mine on, okay?” I observed as he slipped the coat over himself, the slits in the back allowing space for him to fit his wings through the coat. After that, the wing covers slipped over, but it was fitting in such a way that it wouldn’t obstruct the wind flowing through the feathers. There were small slits where wind could slip through. After all that, he pulled the safety goggles over his eyes, and even lifted what looked like a face mask over his muzzle, all of it in white. His voice was now a little muffled. “Alright, now you try it.”

And so I did. I slipped the coat over myself and put my wings through the covers, my mouth being covered by the face mask that was also in my package. I put the safety goggles on last, my vision getting distorted for a second until everything became clear again once the goggles were set into place. Looking in a mirror at myself on the other side of the dressing room, I saw a filly filled with uncertainty, yet with a purpose…a dark and deadly purpose. I tried to narrow my eyes as I thought of hardening my heart, but then I just looked pathetic. I thought hardening your heart had something to do with aggression.

...But that’s not what it is at all. Even now, I can’t truly harden myself.

Dad looked down towards me with watering eyes. “Dashie…” I could still hear his voice through the cover. “It fits you well. Oh gosh, does it fit you well…!” I saw my Dad’s posture weakening as he started to nuzzle me, not even able to actually say a word as I continued to stare at myself in the mirror, my Dad falling apart behind me. In a way, this showed just how hurt my Dad was by having this job. He sheltered this burden while having to tuck me in at night, having to watch fillies and colts like me scream in terror.

And then I understood. Dad tried to distance himself from me the day of my flight test because he was afraid of the off-chance that I would fail. If I did, he would’ve been put in the position to spare my life or kill me. He never stopped loving me, and he never wanted to kill. This was for the sake of Equestria. Even if I did fail, I had the feeling that he wouldn’t have been able to go through with it. I would’ve been rescued instead of Fluttershy.

When you think about it like that, I supposed that it was good to win. I was there as a winner to save her, and now everything would be okay for Fluttershy. I also wanted to make everything okay for my Dad, as well. I turned around away from the mirror to face my broken Dad. “…Dad…please, teach me. Teach me how to run the Rainbow Factory. I’m ready.”

Dad looked into my eyes. “…Dashie…” He closed his own until he re-opened them, a new look in his eyes: The one that seemed insane. “Alright, then…follow me, Dashie, and I’ll tell you everything there is to know about the Rainbow Factory!” I followed him without a word, silently hoping that once I eventually took over, that he’d be able to have a peace of mind. I didn’t want to watch my Dad suffer through this anymore.

We entered into the main center of the Rainbow Factory, where that large machine continued its work, a bunch of other masked ponies flying about, each of them focused on their work. I gulped as I looked closer at the wheels that turned in the machine. Another pegasus filly was heading towards her doom as she rolled closer along the conveyer belt, a deafening scream filling the room once she hit impact. The bones were crushed in a splash of red as the wheel turned once again, and then it was gone. Hearing my Dad’s voice, I quickly looked away from the machine and up to see…my Dad was on what looked like a higher platform, a table in front of him.

I flew up onto the platform to meet him. “What is that, Dad?” I asked through the mask that covered my muzzle. Dad turned towards me and gestured me closer with a hoof. “Well, this is the control panel for the machine down there. We called it ‘The Grinding Deep’.” I frowned at the gray table and its entire multi-colored buttons. As we sat down and looked at it, Dad told me what each and every button represented, and what it did in terms of the machine. The red lever at the far left would start the machine, and the green button just underneath was used to collect spectra from the bloody mess that traveled from the wheels (activated by the blue button), through the rotation of knives (purple button, second one over), and eventually through the vacuum (red button in the center). The idea was that each body would be grounded up to dust.

After he showed me how to work the main control panel for ‘The Grinding Deep’, we moved into the laboratory, where the spectra was processed and converted until it was packaged and delivered to the General Weather Factory under the disguise of being sickeningly spicy. In truth, it was an original factory formula that caused it, and any idiot who dared to lick it would be greeted with the most burning hot sensation in their mouths. In fact, a pony actually DID lick a chemical formula in the factory, and was horribly disappointed. She didn’t even know that she tasted a pony’s life-force, the idiot!

I was taught step-by-step how to put together each formula. I couldn’t sit still for too long, so I flew from each instructional potion, my mind absorbing each purpose for which formula. Back then I didn’t know that was how I learned in general, but there was no restriction against flight in the Rainbow Factory. I plowed through each liquid used; each button, night after night, living and breathing the factory as I grew determined to understand it even further. Somehow, I had to shoulder the burden, and I wanted to take away my Dad’s.

…I had to figure out how to make the factory mine. I had to know, just what difference could I make that would send all the blame towards me if ever we were to be discovered?

A night three months later we went over the treatment of failures. How to handle them from the cart to the holding room, where I started to understand what Fluttershy must’ve gone through while I was with my Dad. For experience, I was assigned to prepare a young purple pegasus colt with blue eyes for the grinding process, and as a test, I had to do it on my own.

I’d say it wasn’t hard for me, but that’d be a lie if I ever heard one. I was terrified, having to approach this fully conscious pegasus colt with a syringe filled with benzodiazepines like I was his worst nightmare, feeling pretty hot and sweaty in my white cover. This pegasus couldn’t find out who I was, no matter what. And I couldn’t spare him either, no matter what…

I stuck the needle into his neck as he whined at me, and he eventually fell limp. If he was lucky, he wouldn’t wake up until after everything coming to him was over. But fate is never kind to you. I carried the pony from the holding room to the laboratory where he was sanitized and prepped for killing. Sanitation was an absolute must in the Rainbow Factory, I discovered through my apprenticeship. Each tool had to be meticulously cleaned and pre-washed before every use. As I was ready to place him on the conveyer belt just across the room, I suddenly felt something try to sink through my covers, stinging through my shoulder.

When I looked, that pegasus colt had woken up, and now he was trying to bite me in order to get away. In times like this, I was told to simply inject the formula to bid him back to sleep again, but I was a nervous wreck at this point, and the colt was actually rather heavy; I couldn’t reach for the syringe. With a sharp pain to my ribs, the colt used me as momentum, jumping away from me and slammed into the door of the laboratory, trying to bash it open.

As I said before, I had a really bad temper when I was younger, so I reached over and threw my covered hoof into the colt’s face, causing him to cry as his face was bruised with pain while I breathed a sigh of relief. As I was about to lift him up again, the colt lifted himself back up, and he threw his entire bottom half towards my muzzle, causing me to be slammed into tables of equipment, empty vials hitting the floor with a crash. As I tried to open my eyes, I only saw a blurry mess as the dumb colt made his way over and lifted me up by my sealed lab coat. “Where the hay did you take me!? Open this door or I’ll clobber your face again!” The purple colt screamed in my already ringing ears as I tried to gather my bearings again.

At that point, I wasn’t sure if I could truly take on the burden of the factory alone, not when I was being beaten the first time I’d been left to do something without my Dad’s supervision. But I didn’t want Dad to have to deal with any more pain, and that alone gave me strength to force myself up in front of the enraged colt.

“You’re in the Rainbow Factory, and too bad, but you’re gonna die!” I cried out as I headbutted him, reaching past the colt to get the syringe and stab it into his shoulder, causing the purple pegasus to give a gasp of pain and surprise before he fell on top of me again, unconscious as he dribbled his saliva all over my now blood-stained lab coat. Without a second thought, I threw the idiot onto the conveyer belt, and walked up to the side to push a button that opened up the metal door that led to The Grinding Deep. I flew through the metal opening and landed just away from the conveyer belt as I watched the machine, my entire body feeling pretty sore and rigid as my mind was.

I witnessed the demise of that blue-eyed purple pegasus colt with a burning hatred, and all I saw as he fell off the conveyer belt…was the desire to LIVE. I choked up as I watched his blood smear the wheel as it rotated, the bones that slammed into me being crushed into nothing. He was just a young pegasus colt who wanted to live, to see his family again…!

I couldn’t stop the tears that were overflowing in my goggles and irritating my eyes. He. Just. Wanted. To. LIVE. I threw the goggles off my face and they flew across the floor as I curled into myself, and the horrible deed I had just committed. It was one thing to watch a bunch of ponies fall through the hooves of your father and his staff, but…

…That pegasus colt was the very first one that I threw onto the conveyer belt myself, and I had done it without a second thought. Without even considering that maybe he had a family that was waiting for him…!!!

I couldn’t breathe. I…I just needed to get out of there. Away from the factory, away from myself, away from…just, everything….

…I needed desperately just to fly.

Author's Note

I got a positive response, so I decided to post a continuation to the first chapter. Please enjoy and give me some feedback to improve the story. ^^

Chapter 3 - Guilt

I rushed into the staff changing room without talking to my Dad, without cleaning the blood from my coat, and I threw the stuff into my designated area before quickly turning around and slamming the door behind me. The door echoed like a shotgun that crushed through my heart like the crushing of bones that continued to go on as the wheel turned without end.

I killed.

I killed with the very intent of doing so.

…I was a monster. My body slumped down against the door to the changing room as I felt whatever strength I had leave me. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair…I was a filly, just 7 years old, and I had made my first kill…and witnessed many others before then! But how many, how many staff members slammed the bodies onto the conveyer belt with the very intent of WANTING them to meet their demise? I continued to sob, and I didn’t notice that my Dad was slowly approaching me.

“…Dashie?” He whispered softly, concern in his tone. “Are you okay…?” He rested his hind-hooves against the cold hard floor, lifting his goggles and face mask enough to get a good look at me. I didn’t want anything to do with anyone, though. “…Of course I’m not okay…” I whined as I buried my muzzle in the rest of my tear-matted coat. “….He just wanted to live…and I…I…” I choked as I shook my head frantically. “…I had a fight, and…when I got him, I was so mad, I…”

Dad leaned his head towards me. “…What did you do, Dashie?” As if I could tell him with a straight face. The memory of my first kill lingered within me, and it wouldn’t go away. I wanted so desperately to make it go away. “…I…I THREW HIM IN THE MACHINE BECAUSE I WANTED HIM DEAD!” I cried, shaking my head frantically again and again, refusing any kind of reply from my Dad.

Dad gave a deep sigh before stepping back. “…Yes, Rainbow Dash…you’re a murderer. You’re a despicable pony, just like me. You killed with the intent to kill.” I actually never expected Dad to take that approach, but considering how Fluttershy approaches me today, it actually made a lot of sense. Sure it tore me apart, but it was a truth I needed to accept. I am a monster who kills ponies on a daily basis, never mind the purpose behind it. A life was a life.

I cried harder than I ever did before that night. I cried so hard, I didn’t even realize my Dad taking me home and tucking me into bed, leaving a good night kiss on my head. No good night kiss could cure the pain I felt when I dreamt of the angered colt, coming back from the dead to seek his revenge for the atrocities I had put him through.

He chased me without mercy, his now razor sharp teeth biting at my prismatic tail and pulling me down under him. Because he was even heavier than when he was alive, it was impossible to try to slip out from under him. Just as he did in real life, he sank his teeth into my shoulder, causing me to cry out in pain as I tossed the blanket off of me in my struggles to try and get him to pull away. I felt cold, which was unusual, but with the weight of death keeping me down, it seemed rather appropriate. I cried harder as he sank deeper into my shoulder, my hooves trying to get underneath enough to shove him away.

I wasn’t strong enough.

“I’M SORRY!!!” I cried out as I threw myself upright, the terrors of my nightmare still lingering within as I frantically searched the room in confusion. In the dream I was back in that lab, but…this…this was my bedroom. Breathing heavily, I allowed myself to sink back into the cushy cloud bed, noting the blanket that was strewn across the floor.

“…I-It was only a dream…” I breathed out, a wave of relief coursing through me. That is, until I recalled what I had done just the night before.

“…MMMPH!!!” I dashed out of my bedroom and headed for the bathroom where I threw my muzzle into the bathroom sink, a horrible taste entering my mouth again as the guilt and disgust was back in full force again. Looking back up at myself, I only saw a stressed out filly whose eyes were lacking of all innocence, tear-stains matting her face. It didn’t look like the face of a 7 year old.
I was tired…so tired.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t even know your name…” I sunk down from the bathroom counter and onto the floor, choked sobs starting to take over me once again. It hurt, having this guilt. And if the facts are straight, Dad had to face this guilt with a smiling face every single day of her life. “I’m sorry, Dad, I’m…I’m not strong enough to do this…!” I whimpered as I curled up into a tight ball.

I heard somepony knocking. “Dashie? Are you in there?” It was Dad, most likely trying to check up on me, but I didn’t want to see anypony then. I just wanted to sulk without a word, constantly weighing my own self-worth against my actions. I was a delinquent, a snobby show-off, and a monster. I didn’t even deserve the delicious meals Dad cooked for me every day!

“…Dashie, if you’re in there…just know that sulking about it isn’t going to change anything.” I huffed at his words as I continued to sit there. “The job requires you to kill. You’re going to become a monster. If they find out, everypony you know is going to hate you. You need to accept this.” Dad was acting pretty heartless, but even then I could tell he was doing it for my own good. “…And if you’re even planning on suicide, think of what Fluttershy would do! Would you wanna hurt her? Would you wanna hurt me?”

That stopped everything. If I died, or was exposed, I would bring pain to Fluttershy. I’d make things even harder for Dad…no matter what; I didn’t want that…even if I had to carry the guilt of killing…I didn’t want that…

I slowly forced myself to stand up. “…I’m okay, Dad. I’ll open the door now.” I reached over and unlocked the door, looking back over to the sink as I turned on the faucet. The last thing I wanted was for my Dad to see me sick. As soon as he opened the door, the sink was clean and I had already wiped the tears from my face. “…I’ll get ready for school now.” I faked a smile, slipping past him before he could say another word to me. I didn’t notice the deep sigh he gave as I rushed back up the stairs.

The flight towards the school that morning felt empty. It was like that giant rain cloud was over our heads again and was showering all over us. I didn’t share a word with Dad before he had to leave for work and the bell rang for school. I kept my bag close to me while roaming through the hallways, eventually getting to my desk in the back of the class. I only hoped that maybe that teacher was absent and we had an awesome substitute or something, but as usual, fate wasn’t kind to me. As soon as she entered the room, I could feel her glare trying to cut me down to size.

I didn’t care about the teacher or whatever she had to teach. I brought out those sketches I had made some time ago, and I started the same process of erasing and redesigning. Gear after gear, button after button, something was being put together on the piece of paper. Something that sort of resembled The Grinding Deep, but it also…wasn’t? For one thing, this thing had a large claw instead of a giant mouth, and somewhere there was a large needle involved. A needle like the one I used to silence that purple pegasus colt…but it had a bigger purpose…didn’t it? Putting the sketches away once I hit a dead end, I looked up to see the face of the teacher, her frown evident on her face. “Miss Dash.”

My eyes widened to pinpricks.

“AHHH! IT’S UGLY!” I shrieked and jumped back in surprise as I ended knocking over my desk, smacking the teacher in the process. “Ahh!” She cried before lifting herself back up. “Grr…go to the Principal’s Office! Go! I don’t want to even see your face right now!”
I blinked out of my stupor while the rest of the class kept laughing before giving a deep sigh. I didn’t even mean to tick her off this time… Without another word, I gathered my stuff into the bag and walked calmly out of the classroom, the door shutting behind me with a huge thud.

I didn’t notice the concerned yellow pegasus whose delicate teal eyes followed my direction.
Leaning against the wall in the hallway, I let out another deep sigh. Turns out these were becoming common. I wasn’t sure though: should I go back up to that one classroom and work on whatever it was my brain was working on, or maybe I should actually do what the teacher says and go to the Principal’s Office?

…I shook my head. Screw the stupid Principal’s Office; I had something much bigger to tackle. As I made my way to the stairs that hid in the shadows, I began to wonder if it was haunted, like those other fillies and colts said. What would happen if I made going here a regular thing? What would I even do up there? I started my flight up the stairs, and entered the shadows; my mind was already turning gears as I thought back to the sketches I was working on for what now was a space of three months. Three months since I started working at the Rainbow Factory as an apprentice Superior Supervisor.

…Three months since I gave up my innocence.

I slowly opened the door to the solitary classroom, the slight shifting of noise seemed comforting compared to the noisy atmosphere of the rowdy students just below. It was weird, I acted like I was really social in a group of others, and I attracted attention to myself going “hey, look at me, look at what I can do”…but to be honest, I kinda preferred the silence that solitary classroom gave me. It gave silence enough to leave me to my thoughts, and the whirring of a machine running through my head. The clanging of gears, the shifting of metal scrapping as it turned, turned, and turned in a complete rotation, I started putting pencil down to paper again. I couldn’t stop thinking about The Grinding Deep, and how much spectra could be gathered from it…it almost seemed…extremely flawed.

I hunched down on top of a desk, attaching the sketched out design to a clip on the chalk board in the front of the room, feeling...challenged. It was weird, but it almost felt like something was missing…the gears would keep turning with the wheel, the spectra would flow without interruption, but how would one collect the spectra? Was The Grinding Deep really getting as much spectra as it could?
I mean, how much spectra could you actually get using a vacuum of all things?

And what was with the needle I added to my own design? What would that even be used for? I frowned at the piece of paper like it was some annoying puzzle and lifted myself up into the air with my wings, noticing a piece of chalk that was resting at the front. Picking it up with my mouth, my body twisted in disgust as I held it between my teeth. It was gross! Who the hay would pick up chalk like this?!

…I did, apparently. I held it tightly as my eyes scanned the pages of designs I had sketched out of boredom. Something was coming together here. Something big and sinister…My Dad called me a monster, and told me to accept that, but did that really have to be the case? What if there was a way to change things, so that there’d be fewer victims? It wouldn’t’ve stopped me from becoming a monster, sure, but maybe it’d be easier to get a good night’s sleep at night. That’s what I started to believe, anyway. I began to sketch something on the chalkboard itself.
The large needle would be hooked just across from the giant claw. The giant claw would pick up the failure from the conveyer belt, and then through that, the spectra could be drained directly from the victim with the needle instead of vacuuming from the remains of one. That would raise spectra harvest levels, and there’d be fewer victims in the long run! Naturally, the body would have to be disposed of, but where? How? Should I have borrowed from The Grinding Deep? Would ponies be grinded up? Would there be a wheel involved to crush them? How would all of this be constructed, and with what materials?

The bell rang announcing the end of school. It was good timing, since I needed to ask Dad some questions concerning The Grinding Deep. Taking the time to sketch what was on the chalkboard, I quickly smeared the contents with my wing before shoving everything back into my bag. I had some questions that needed to be answered if I was actually gonna go through with this.

“…Pfft-W-What…!” My Dad sputtered and coughed as he took his drink away from the Superior Supervisor’s Office desk there in the Rainbow Factory. “…Why do you wanna know something like that…?!” To be honest, I wasn’t sure how Dad was gonna feel if he caught on to what I was planning. For my project, I had to face it alone, or another pony would end up taking responsibility for my actions.

“…Eh, I was just a little curious. It seems tightly put together, so I was kinda wondering who made The Grinding Deep in the first place.” I shrugged at my Dad. If I knew who made it, and around the time it was, I could get an idea on what materials were used to make it. Dad shook his head and sighed. “Well…I believe the original Grinding Deep was created under another name by Commander Hurricane, years ago. Since then, modifications have been made to the machine to ensure efficient production. The body of The Grinding Deep is pretty much stainless steel and metal, gears bolted into place and whatnot. If you’re really interested in how it’s constructed, I could let you take a better look. It’s not running right now because some of our staff is on break. That and…tomorrow I need to pull an all-nighter up in the Weather Office, so the Rainbow Factory’s gonna be closed to all staff members.”

I blinked. Tomorrow was a golden opportunity without supervision, if I could get a better look at how it was made today. “…So, takeout tomorrow?” Dad laughed as he put his drink down. “Sure, sure, we can have takeout. I’ll make sure to order something before I leave for work for you. Keep it in the fridge so it stays fresh, okay?”

I grinned. “Okay.” I slipped out of the office and towards the Main Control Center, where I had to slip my card key in order to get inside. Just as Dad said, the machine was dormant as the work floor was clear of workers and equipment. The conveyer belt was cleaned and sanitized of ponies. The wheel on the machine was cleaned, too. It was like nothing bad had ever happened here.

But something did. I threw that pegasus colt onto the conveyer belt, and now I was a monster. I had lost my innocence long ago, yet I still kept hope to reduce the amount of victims I killed. Taking flight, I started to examine the machine up close. I checked the placement of each gear and bolted screw, how rough the wheel felt against my hoof. I flew in circles around it as I got to know the machine better. I started checking what kind of fuel it ran on, how that fuel would affect pollution versus production levels…my mind was nowhere near that of a 7 year old.

But that didn’t matter. I was a budding scientist in disguise.

I got to know the machine both inside and out, my brain already trying to work out how to modify The Grinding Deep into my own design. No, not modify it…I planned to build something better, everything built from my own hooves. It wouldn’t be finished for a long time, but I wanted to create my own machine from scratch. Learning about The Grinding Deep was just a stepping stone.

I proceeded to start the project that would eventually take what was left of my innocence.

Sketching furiously, I frowned at the work that was in front of me. It makes sense now, but I was weirded out why I couldn’t produce quality work while sitting in front of a school desk. Maybe it was the lazy vibe that was school, or something. Or maybe it was that teacher who caused it. That’s the kind of thoughts I had while sitting frustrated in my desk. Here I was, trying to change a generations-passed tradition, and I had to sit through some dumb lecture. I rolled my eyes before stuffing my sketches back into my bag, resting my head on the crummy surface.

It was gonna be a long day…

For once, I didn’t get sent to the ‘Principal’s Office’, so there was no reason to go back up to the solitary classroom on the upper floor. The teacher announced lunch-time, as we were able to wander around and play a little, although all I really wanted to do was to keep on working on my machine. I had to find a suitable enough material to handle the energies it was gonna take, but I didn’t really want the same exact material The Grinding Deep used. I wanted this one to be special, unique, and I was willing to pour everything I had into it.

I didn’t notice somepony approaching me. “U-Um, Rainbow Dash…?” I heard a soft voice and quickly looked up, being greeted with a sudden “Eeep!” from the other pegasus. I gave a soft smile towards my friend. It really was good to see her alive and well. “…Hey, Fluttershy! It’s been a while!” I grinned, feeling surprisingly light-hearted. I had always thought there’d be awkwardness and pain involved, but all I felt was happiness and relief.

Fluttershy gave a small smile as she waved. “Um, hi…” She sat there in front of me for a while as she shifted from side to side uncomfortably. I blinked, than looked over to the empty spot right next to me for a second before looking back. “…Did you wanna sit, maybe chat a bit?” It seemed to be what she wanted, because the yellow pegasus didn’t hesitate as much as I thought she would.
Relaxing a bit more, Fluttershy gave a contented sigh as the wind in the clouds ran through her feathers and then through mine. It was comforting, and felt really good after being shut up in a darkened room for long periods of time.

Fluttershy seemed to notice this, actually. “…Um, your mane seems…calmer than it usually does, I mean…” She stuttered a bit. “Have you been practicing your flying as often as usual?” When I thought deeper about it, I started to realize that I wasn’t, mostly due to the fact that I’d been acting like a shut-in and was currently in the process of creating something devious and most likely deadly. I only flew in order to get to places, and I started to realize that wasn’t me. I was in love with the skies, so why would I avoid it by confiding in crazy machine experiments?

I felt like I had been knocked silly. “Uh, well…Yeah, my Dad’s been trying to get me to help him out at his work, so…I’ve been pretty busy in the evenings.” I chuckled outwardly, but inside I wasn’t so sure. It wasn’t a lie, per se…but I was still holding back from my fillyhood friend, and that felt weird. But, this was so she wouldn’t be involved, and so she wouldn’t get hurt. I had to face my problems on my own. “It’s a little stressful, so I’ve been kinda cranky in the mornings.” I yawned, the exhaustion from studying machines starting to tire me out. “So, that’s why I’ve had an attitude in class and all.”

Fluttershy blinked. “Oh, you’ve always had an attitude.” I didn’t expect her to be so blunt. “Oh, um, I’m so sorry if I offended you, Rainbow…!” I laughed hard at the situation, because it was true. I always had some sassy retort to shoot off at the authorities, and Fluttershy understood that. “Pfft, it’s okay, Flutters, no need to deny the truth, after all!” I continued laughing.

“…Flutters?” I blinked at the sound of her confused voice. It was the first time I had used any kind of nickname for her, surprisingly. I frowned towards her. “…What, you don’t like it?” I smiled inwardly as she shook her head. “Um, uh…no, it’s…It’s…nice, I’ve never had a nickname given to me by a friend before.” I saw her yellow rounded cheeks swell up with a red blush. “…It feels wonderful. Oh, um…can…I call you something, Rainbow?”

I shrugged. “Well, I don’t like to throw this one around because it sounds way too mushy, but…my Dad calls me ‘Dashie’ all the time.” I felt my own cheeks heat up at the thought of anypony other than my Dad calling me that. ‘Dashie’ just sounded too endearing.

“…Dashie.” It surprised me that it sounded just…so natural coming out of her mouth in that soft gentle voice. “I…I like it, if you’ll let me call you by it, Rainbow…” After that, she still asked me if she could use it. Typical Flutters… “…Sure, you can call me ‘Dashie’ if you really want to. Just…don’t go throwing it around the other students, and we’re cool! The last thing I need is for Billy Dumbbell of all ponies to catch wind of it.” We both laughed at that. Billy was just so lame.

She gave a small grin as she closed her eyes. “Okay, Dashie.” I blinked as a new wave of concern reshaped her face. “…Um, Dashie…don’t you think you’re working a little too hard for a 7 year old filly? Maybe you should talk to your Dad about taking it easy…?” Wait for it. “T-That is, if…if you want to, I…I don’t mean to impose.” She hid her face behind the comforts of her growing pink mane. That mane would eventually become long and beautiful, and from what I heard, she’d have to deal with the pressures of being a model. But none of those thoughts crossed my mind back then.

I didn’t wanna hurt her, but I couldn’t have her keep on worrying about me. I frowned at her words. “…I’m just fine, Flutters. Dad’s not overworking me. And besides, does age really matter? If I wanna help out at his work, then I brought it on myself. No need to keep worrying about it, just…I’ll probably be crankier in the mornings…” I swallowed a lump in my throat as my rose eyes met her soft teal ones. “…And I don’t want you to have to deal with that.” Hopefully she would get the message to leave me to my own devices, but this was Fluttershy I was talking to.

Fluttershy shook her head. “Oh, um, I don’t mind if…if you act a little cranky during class. But I don’t like it when…when you try to shut people out. We haven’t talked together like this since before the Flight Test.” Oh gosh, the Flight Test. I hoped as I tried to keep a straight face that she wouldn’t remember her time at the Rainbow Factory. “…I’ve…kind of felt…um…left out.” She whispered almost inaudibly. Pegasi naturally have really good hearing, so I was able to hear it. And I sighed.

“Fluttershy, I’m not trying to shut people out.” I groaned. “Dad’s just showing me how to do his work, that’s all. You know, up in the Weather Factory?” I hoped she’d stop pressing me soon before I lost my temper, and I never wanted to ever lash out on Fluttershy. She was an innocent, and I was anything but.

My filly-hood friend was stubborn to leave things be. “…Still…” She gave a deep sigh before shaking her head, her mane hiding her expression. “O-Okay…I’ll trust that you know what you’re doing, Dashie. I’m sorry for bothering you.” Before I could get another word in, she quickly turned around and went back inside the school building.

“Fluttershy, wait!” I held out a small hoof…until I slowly put it back down. What was I doing? I wanted her to distance herself from me, didn’t I? I couldn’t let her get involved in my own criminal deeds…and yet a more emotional part of me just wanted the company, anything to avoid the nightmarish things I would witness at night. I sank my sore body into the cushy clouds and rested my head for a while, but eventually the teacher was ready to call us all back in.

Lunchtime was over.

I gave a deep sigh as I sat in my desk, every now and then attempting to steal glances towards Fluttershy. Her body seemed to indicate she was doing fine…but…nope. Her shoulders were more slumped than usual, so I definitely upset her in some way. I dropped my own shoulders as I leaned backwards in my desk, casually in between the tipping point and complete stability.

…Maybe it was bad to think like this at 7 years old. Well, I was going to be 8 soon enough. Thinking about it, I realized that my birthday was coming up sometime pretty soon. I’d be 8 years old and still working in the Rainbow Factory under the rank Apprentice S.S. Part of me wondered just how long the apprentice process was going to take before the factory was fully in my charge.
But what Fluttershy said before had hit me: Did I really not wave ‘hi’ to her, hug her, or show any kind of affection towards her to show how much I cared about her ever since before the Flight Test? I never paid attention enough to give her a piece of my day in all the three months of my apprenticeship? If that was truly the case, I let out a deep sigh as another revelation hit me: I was being a pretty lousy friend trying to push Fluttershy away.

I didn’t even mean to avoid her…well, maybe I did. At first, I thought it’d be awkward to see her again, so I guess my mind kind of translated into my actions…and I actually DID start avoiding her. I took comfort in that solitary classroom way too much, I realized, and it was showing in my social levels. Somehow, I had to do something to make Fluttershy feel better.

…The Rainbow Factory was going to be closed that night, but I HAD planned to go back in, and study The Grinding Deep some more…for my project and all. But somehow, I lost the heart to dive myself into endless machinery all the time. I needed a friend…and Fluttershy needed me. Ignoring the designs in my bag, I reached for a slip of loose paper and started to scribble on it.

I’m sorry, Fluttershy! Wanna watch the butterflies after school today?
- Dashie

It seemed simple, but I hoped it would get the message across enough. Since Fluttershy loved the earth below so much, I figured she’d be happy to hang out with her butterfly friends a little. It sounded a little boring to me, but this was for Fluttershy, and I couldn’t let her down. Now the only issue was how to get it to her without the teacher noticing. I glanced up and silently groaned. She was facing the entire class, pointing at some dumb things on the chalkboard while not even half the class was listening. Teaching a bunch of pegasi fillies and colts without problems left and right was futile.

Wait. She turned around! There was no better chance. I wrapped up the note into a ball and launched it at Fluttershy’s head. Even now, I’m pretty confident about my aim. Once the piece of paper made impact with a soft short scrapping sound, I heard a tiny inaudible ‘eep’ before she started looking around for what hit her. I silently sent a request that she would find and slowly pick up the note that was on the floor by her desk.

…I couldn’t have been more wrong. Just next to Fluttershy, sat the stupid pegasus colt Billy Dumbbell, and he had to gall to pick up my note before Fluttershy could! My mouth dropped as he suddenly sat up after unfolding the note, clearing his throat for the full attention of the classroom. Surely he wasn’t going to---!

“Ahem, um…”I’m sorry, Fluttershy! Wanna watch the butterflies after school today?” This is kinda cute, huh?” His cronies were snickering as Fluttershy hid her shameful face in her mane while I started to hide my own behind the school book that I picked up from the top of my desk. “And look who it’s from! From…Dashie!” Oh, no he didn’t…My ears lowered as I honestly just wanted to be invisible at that moment. The idiot wouldn’t make things easier, though. “I wonder who that is…Hey, maybe it’s a misspelling for ‘Crashie’! I know who ‘Crashie’ is!” He laughed like an evil demon while the rest of the class joined in, except for Fluttershy who was looking back at me with a sympathetic pout.
‘Crashie’ was 20 percent more uncool than ‘Rainbow Crash’. I wouldn’t be able to live this one down. And that stupid teacher wasn’t even doing anything about it! She was laughing with the rest of them! I wouldn’t lose my temper, though…I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of upsetting me.

So why was I trying to HIDE behind a SCIENCE BOOK?

Author's Note

Someone showed more interest in this story, so here's another chapter. I haven't released all I've written because I'm still working out the whole direction I want the story to go. But thank you for your interest. ^^