A Week In The Life Of Wing Nut

Friday

1. The Wonderbolts finally got less cheering than us. Cheap Treat meets us at the stadium exit.

"That was buckin' amazing! Nice job, pegasi." he says to us as we approach him.

"Thanks, Treat." I say. "That went a lot better than expected."

"It was the best I've ever seen." He enthuses to us. I need to get a stand and sell food at your shows."

Aero joins the conversation. "That sounds like a good idea. Hey, we're heading over to the jousting tournament, do you want to come?"

"Jousting? I didn't know you cared about that kind of thing."

"Oh, no." Aero answers. "He's competing. Some idiot decided that winning a joust against Wing Nut would win my affections."

"Was it the waiter from the other day?"

"Yes." I laugh.

We begin a short walk from the stadium to the jousting lists. I purchase a sky blue crystal flugelhorn as a souvenir on the way. As we approach the stands, I see Swift Quill among others already in armor standing at the other side talking. A black crystal pony with a white mane is standing next to the entrance.

"I'm here from the airshow to compete." I tell the black pony.

"I believe you. Come on in." he says back.

"Really?" I ask. "That's it?"

"Yup. Go right in. The equipment tent is on the left." He answers again. I wave to Aero and Cheap Treat as I enter the list boundaries, and head through the middle towards the tent. On one side of the tournament boundaries are stands and booths. The opposite side is only a small wall, where anypony at the fair can walk up and watch.

"It's you." Swift greets me as I approach the tent.

"Yup. It's me. One of the most loved ponies in the empire at the moment." I say smugly.

"We'll see who gets the love after I destroy you today." he responds, trying to sound mean. Some of the nearby stallions snigger at him as I turn and walk into the equipment tent. I see probably 15 stands with sets of armor, and a rack with lances lined up against the tent walls. I approach one of the stands and try on some golden yellow crystal armor. After a few minutes of fighting with some keystitches, I manage to get the armor fastened down correctly. I feed my mane through the hole in the top of the helmet and place it on my head, just to make sure it fits. It does. Suddenly, the tent door flaps open, and Spitfire, one of the Wonderbolts enters the tent.

"Oh." She says. "Hey. You're that pony from the airshow..."

"Yup."

"Great show."

"You as well."

"So, uh. You jousting?"

"Yup."

"I guess I'll see you out there then."

"See you out there." The painfully awkward conversation comes to a close as I exit the tent and remove my helmet. I walk over to the nearest staff member, who is an emerald green crystal pony with an even greener mane.

"Do you need training?" She asks in a friendly tone.

"No, I used to joust in school." I respond, equally nicely. "I was just wondering how this tournament was going to work."

"Oh." she says. "Well, this particular tournament is a joust a plaisance."

"So it's an elimination tournament?" I ask.

"Yes." she responds. "Very good. So this will last up to the end of the festival at midnight, and if a winner is not determined by then, the remaining ponies still in the match will recieve a final ranking in the tournament based on points."

"Sounds simple enough. By the way, what time is it?"

"It's 1:45." she says. "Which reminds me... ALL PONIES PARTICIPATING IN THIS TOURNAMENT MUST COME TO ME AND GET PUT ON THIS ROSTER!" She yells to everypony in the vicinity, holding up a clipboard.

"I'm wing Nut." I tell her. She writes it down with a pen in her mouth.

"Okay. Best of luck to you." She motions me away as a line of contestants form a line in front of her.

1. The stands have filled up almost momentarily, with even more ponies leaning on the lists on the other side. Aerodrome, Vertigo, and Cheap Treat are sitting in the bottom left corner of the stands, cheering and waving me over. I approach the wall and speak to them.

"Hey guys."

"Hey!" they all respond in unison.

"This is exciting. I haven't jousted in years."

"I just wanted to wish you the best of luck." Vertigo says.

"I hope you win." Treat adds.

"Yeah, go win my affections!" Aero finishes, laughing.

"Welcome to this year's Crystal Festival jousting tournament!" The announcer mare begins. "We've got a lot of great ponies competing here today, including two very special pegasi, whom you may recognize if you went to the airshow this morning. We have Spitfire, of the Wonderbolts. Cheering. And Wing Nut, of the Flying Sky Ninjas. Screaming and stomping.

"I guess some of these ponies were at the show." I mutter happily to myself.

"I'm tired of waiting, you're tired of waiting. Let's just jump in and get this tournament started!" she yells. "Our first up today are Motion Blur and Side Charge!" The cheering begins as the two ponies slowly take positions on opposite sides of the field. A horn sounds signaling the two of them to charge past each other. Both lances break on contact, and neither is stopped or knocked down, dictating a draw. They run against each other three more times before Motion Blur finally knocks Side Charge down. Cheering, then the next two ponies.

After somewhere around 12 rounds, I finally hear my name called. And I'm dueling Spitfire, because I guess somepony thought that was an interesting idea. I hook a lance into the holder on my armor, put my helmet on, and walk over to the far side of the tilt, with the stands on my right, and Spitfire on my left. The hornist rasies her instrument.

"STOP!" a voice yells from the staging area, causing the ponies in the stands to stop cheering. Swift Quill pushes through Spitfire, and takes her position from her.

"I'm dueling Spitfire!"

"I'm Wing Nut you idiot!" I yell in response. The audience giggles for a moment, stops, and then returns to their usual noisemaking.

"Ok then." the announcer says. "We have a challenge! Swift Quill will be jousting Wing Nut." I prepare myself to charge and aim the lance over the tilt towards where he should be running. The horn sounds and I canter towards him, keeping my lance aimed right in front of his chest. But his lance seems a little high. Maybe it's just me. I make hard contact with his breastplate for an instant, before feeling his lance smash straight into my face, knocking my helmet off.

I flip on to my back, feeling nothing but the smashing pain in my forehead as the audience cheers, realises where he hit, and begins anxiously trying to see if I'm okay from the stands.

"That was an illegal hit if I've ever seen one." the announcer says. "A point will be deducted from Swift Quill's score, placing him in last place, with a score of -1 points." I stumble to my feet as the dizziness slowly fades from my head, making the crowd cheer me on. "Wing Nut may wish to challenge Swift Quill to a fair joust once more. If Wing Nut does challenge him, because of his previous actions he will be obligated to play." the announcer says. "If Swift Quill performs another illegal move, he will have to answer to the authorities." Swift is looking at me nervously now. He knows what's going to happen.

"REMAAAAAATCH!" I yell, making the crowd go crazy. You can see Swift's smug spirit shatter in his eyes.

Placing my helmet back on my head, I find that the strap is broken. Without the strap, it will fall into my face and flap around as it pleases. I drop it onto the ground as I take up my position back on my side of the tilt. The crowd stirs as I leave it there and prepare to joust anyway.

"Wing Nut is taking a huge risk without a helmet!" the announcer yells. "This could be his last day alive if he's hit."

"Just go!" I yell. All I want to do right now is knock Swift back to where he came from, wherever it may be. I know I'm better at this than him.

The horn sounds and I charge towards Swift, propelling myself forward with my wings. I see him pointing his lance up again, and thinking back to when I used to joust in school, I slap my lance down on top of his, pressing it down and lining me up with his lower neck. I simultaneously feel his lance graze off my armor and mine contacting his. It shatters, and the impact sends him tumbling back to his starting position as the audience cheers even more enthusiastically than at the airshow.

"Four points go to Wing Nut!" the announcer yells. "One for returning after an illegal hit, and three for scoring against an illegal hit, following an illegal hit! And as for Swift Quill, he'll be answering to Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadence." Six royal guards materialize from the crowd on the festival side and drag him off towards the palace. I just smile at him. At the stallion that tried to kill me. He knows what he did.

1615.

"Fourth place!" Aero screams happily at me. "You got fourth place!"

"I did, didn't I?" I rejoice as I run over and hug her.

"Great show, Wing Nut!" The announcer interrupts us. "Spitfire, Grayscale, and Night Shade will be competing to win the tournament next."

"Let's get out of here once I take this armor off." I say to Aero. "Somewhere quieter where we can all talk."

"Or think even." She responds. I head back to the armor tent to return the armor.

"Wait." The black pony from before stops me. I look at him silently. "Keep the armor."

"What?" I ask confusedly. "You're not going to reuse it?"

"Crystal Empire traditions dictate that those skilled enough to take fifth place or higher in a tournament earn their armor."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Do I get both helmets?"

"Sure."

I prance away from the lists happily and approach Aero, Vertigo, and Treat, who are standing together waiting for me.

"You're keeping the armor?" Vertigo questions me.

"Apparently I've earned it." I answer.

"Oh."

We walk (or rattle and clank in my case) towards the center of the festival grounds.

"What else is going to happen today?" I ask anypony willing to answer.

"The dinner at the palace..." Aero replies.

"What?" Vertigo and Treat ask in unison.

"Oh, Princess Cadence saw us agreeing to marry through a shop window and invited us to the palace for dinner." I answer.

"Marry?" Treat exclaims. Aero and I both pretend to be looking up at the crystal palace in an attempt to avoid the question.

"We'll explain on the train." Aero tells him reluctantly.

1. Aero and I arrive at the palace. Her wearing my busted helmet, me wearing the non-busted helmet and armor, and both of us still have dyed feathers and coats. Vertigo took our bags back to the hotel. We get through the guards and confidently march up the stairs and towards the dining room, led by an escort of course. Entering the much-less-grand-than-expected room, we see that the prince and princess are waiting for us at the table already. We bow and approach the table, expecting a much more formal greeting than what we get.

"Hey, you came. Welcome to the Crystal Palace." Shining Armor says.

"Hello, you two." Cadence greets us. "I'm glad you decided to come today. We needed something to break the monotony. Please, take a seat." She smiles warmly and waits for us to speak, though she clearly wants to keep talking.

"Hello." Aero says.

"Hi." I join in as we settle into our seats.

"That airshow was fantastic." Cadence tells us. "Everyone that I overheard talking about it was blown away."

"Thank you." I say, Aero and I both smiling at her compliment.

"So, did you hear about the joust today?" Shining Armor begins a conversation. "Some crazy stallion tried to kill their opponent by lancing them in the head. Despite this, the..." He trails off as he realises that the helmet Aero is wearing is busted. "Oh... Was that you?" he asks me. I smile and nod at him.

"Yeah. The helmet was ruined, that's why I left it on the ground. The head injury actually wasn't that bad. The helmet took the brunt of the hit." I answer. "I got a new one right after." I tap my hoof on my helmet twice. "By the way, who won?"

"A retired military hoof guard named Grayscale won the tournament, right?" Shining asks Cadence.

"Yes, he's very skilled. I've met him before." she answers.

"But, that was you?" Shining asks again.

"Yes, it was."

"You should receive a medal for that." he says. "I need to present you with some kind of honor."

"For beating a cheater?"

"For sticking up for yourself in the face of pain and a murderous coward."

"Well, when you put it that way..." I laugh.

"We'll decide on what to present you with later." Cadence tells me.

"Thank you." I reply.

"So what kind of food do you like?" Shining asks the two of us. Aero and I look at each other.

"Uh" is all I can come up with.

"Do you have any of that traditional crystal soup?" Aero responds.

"Yeah. We've got crystal soup." Cadence laughs. "In fact, this is the only place you can get it. They don't make this stuff back in Equestria."

"Can I try some too?" I ask nicely.

"Sure. I'll tell the chefs to make you ponies some." she answers.

"Cool." I say, finally removing my helmet and placing it on the table next to me. Shining Armor summons the chefs, orders a bunch of foods to be made, and sends them off.

"So, do you know why we really brought you here?" Shining Armor inquires out of nowhere, looking at us.

"...What?" I ask, sitting up in my chair, suddenly wishing I had kept the helmet on.

"Oh, Shining." Cadence says. "You've scared them." she looks at me apologetically. "I'm sorry. It's nothing bad. We wanted to ask you about what makes you two love each other, how you fell in love, what you do together, things like that. We want to use the information to advance our knowledge on love."

"Oh." I say, slowly sitting back down into my seat. The princess continues explaning.

"As you may or may not know, my special ability is sensing and spreading love everywhere I go." She pauses and smiles kindly. "I was walking around down in the city, and I sensed a powerful love nearby. I tracked down the source to a small glass and crystalware shop. There I saw you two." Aero takes my helmet off and holds it in her hooves. "You two pegasi have an unusually powerful love for each other."

"We do?" Aero asks the princess.

"Oh, yeah." Cadence replies. "I don't think I've ever seen affection so powerful from two normal pegasi."

"We're hoping you can tell us about your love, so we may improve other's." Shining joins in.

"Ok." I agree. Aero nods.

"So could you tell us your history together?" Cadence asks.

"Well..." Aero begins. "We were both from Manehattan, opposite sides of the city, and when we were young, our parents had us sent to flight school, like every pegasus. We met in the cafeteria one day. I was sitting alone at a table looking at my food, and Wing Nut came along and sat down next to me. What was the first thing you said to me?" she teases.

"Ummm... You have a... pretty mane." I mutter embarrassedly. Cadence and Shining giggle at me.

"So he complimented my mane, sat down with me and started eating. We became friends over the course of flight school, and when it came time to return home, we made a plan. Almost every day we would meet up in the park and go out for coffee, or a donut, or pizza." I look down at the floor, preparing myself for what's coming. "But one day, when Wing Nut was around 8, his parents went out for a drink and never returned. He found out by newspaper four days later, that they had been murdered by a some random thug on the sidewalk in broad daylight." An awkward silence ensues as I press my face against my helmet and rest it there.

"Over the bits in their purses..." I mumble.

Silence.

"But, anyway, he moved in with me and my family temporarily, I was there for him when he needed it, and he was there for me." Aero continues, trying to shake off the melancholy mood. "The two of us moved to a house in Cloudsdale, where Wing Nut joined Equestria's Imperial Army as a flyer for 2 years. While he was doing that, I was taking advanced flight courses at the Wonderbolt Academy."

"When I came back home one afternoon," I take over. "I realised how much I had missed my only surviving friend, and I left the army immediately. We fell in love quickly as we grew up. We turned our advanced training and love for flying and each other into an airshow team, which led us here. ...So how did you two meet?" I ask the royalty.

"Cadence was my little sister's foalsitter." Shining Armor answers simply.

"Ah." I reply.

2125.

"Well, We should probably be going now. Aero tells the prince and princess.

"All right. Thank you for coming and sharing with us." Cadence says kindly. "I hope to improve my love spell with what information you've given us."

"Any time you want us to come over to the palace and eat your food, just let us know." I laugh.

"Okay. I will." Shining Armor responds jokingly. We grab our stuff, get out of the chairs, and leave happily. They wave goodbye to us as we exit the room.

"That was fun." I say to Aero as we leave through one of the palace's main stairways.

"Yeah, I hope we get to see them again." she says back.

"Are you ready go back to the hotel and get some sleep?"

"Not quite. Let's go for a fly."

"But I'm tired."

"It won't take long."