Celestia made her way to the Hive. Loud music blared from inside. A certain DJ pony was blasting beats from a bass cannon. Celestia was sure her ears would be ringing by the time she got home.

She made her way to the entrance, only to be stopped by a Changeling guard. "Name please. We're trying to keep Miss Superior White Bottom away from our little kingdom".

"MISS SUPERIOR WHITE BOTTOM?", Celestia thought to herself. It was obvious that the guard was talking about her. But... how come he didn't recognize her? Either way, Celestia was not going to let this opportunity go to waste.

"I'm Cele- NO. Miss Horsemare... someone... yeah", she said carelessly. The guard blinked in disbelief for awhile, and then checked the guest list.

"Ahh! Miss Celenomisshorsemaresomeoneyeah. Glad to see that you could make it this time!", he gestured welcomingly and allowed her to enter.

Celestia stared at the guard in shock. She slowly prodded into the Hive, and as she walked into the party hall, she whispered to herself, "I need to find that mare and give her some ribbon... award or something".

Many ponies were either headbanging or dancing vigorously. Others were talking loudly, requesting remixes for songs or playing Christmas themed party games. There was a lit up dance floor that ponies such as Pinkie Pie, Cheerilee, and even Twilight Sparkle were dancing on. And there, at the far corner of the hall was Princess Luna, chatting up a certain Dr. Hooves

Celestia was furious. Her own sister attended a rival kingdoms Christmas party, just to flirt with some guy she didn't even know?

"LUNA!", Celestia shouted from afar. Immediately, Luna's cheeks turned bright pink as she excused herself from the table.

"Sister! Hugs hugs!", Luna screeched.

"What the- Luna are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine... BUT... The REAL question is... are you fine?"

"Luna, go back to the castle"

"Okay, I am a STRONG... INDEPENDANT WOMAN. I don't need you, going around telling me what to do!"

"Luna have you been drinking?"

Luna's eyes grew wide, "Is that what I sound like? I... I was just having fun!".

Celestia huffed with annoyance. "I'm just here to... investigate. Anypony I can talk to about this?".

"It depends. What are you trying to investigate".

Celestia paced her hooves uncomfortably, "I... wanna know how to throw better Christmas parties".

One would expect Luna to laugh at this point, but her sister truly was pathetic at throwing Christmas parties. Instead, Luna sighed and said, "Go talk to Vinyl Scratch. She can either give you some advice or take you to some people that have good advice. Maybe you'll even get to talk to Chrysalis herself. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got a stallion to talk to".

Celestia's expression was the same one Luna gave her. No matter how pathetic Celestia was at Christmas party hosting, Luna was, and always will be, more pathetic than anypony at relationships.

Every hoof closer to the DJ pony was an all-the-more feeling the bass cannon was going to blow her away. Just as she was about to say something to Vinyl, the music got exceptionally softer as Queen Chrysalis, riding on a sleigh-shaped float, burst into the room screaming, "HELLO MY PARTY PONIES!!". Followed by the screams of various fans of hers. Which was everypony.

"SO HOW IS EVERYONE ENJOYING THE PARTY SO FAR?", she boomed into her wireless mic.

As many ponies responded with , "AWESOME!" or "WOOHOO!" or "CHRYSALIS IS BEST PONY!". Celestia, of course, was overcome with jealousy.

"HAHA! AMAZING!", Chrysalis continued, "So, I hope you've all enjoyed the dancing and the music, THANK YOU SO MUCH VINYL!".

And the crowd goes, "YEAH! WOOOOOO!".

"Alright, alright! Now it's time for some, ENTERTAINMENT!"

As the words escaped Chrysalis mouth, Discord poofed into the room, creating chocolate-raining-cotton-candy-cloud hotspots, an array of crazily shaped party snacks (not to mention a life sized nachos and cheese sculpture of Queen Chrysalis), mega slides and glowstick stands, bouncy houses and laser light shows, and a dart board in the shape of, you probably didn't guess it but I don't know cause I'm just a narrator, Celestia's face.

Celestia's mouth went agape noticing the dart board, she was on the verge of blasting Chrysalis with her horn before she continued.

"NOW, NOW DISCORD! Let's not get ahead of ourselves! Now fam. The anti-Celestia themed stuff will NOT be ending now! The next activity will be singing the "Death to Celestia" Christmas carol as we burn down the life sized, wooden model of her in the back garden! Then, we'll dance on the ashes and exalt the rock-solid, fireproof statue... OF ME!!!"

This time, Celestia's eyes were as big as her gaping-wide mouth. Especially as she noticed every single one of her subjects cheering. Her loyal student Twilight. Her sister, Luna. Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders! Spike of course wasn't cheering... mostly because he was passed out under an unlimited ice-cream machine.

Chrysalis continued, "Obviously, the party doesn't stop there! So have a great time! The burning of the Celestia model will occur in about 2 hours. SO BE THERE!". The sleigh float slowly began to back up as Chrysalis grabbed a drink from a bartender's platter and left. The music became gradually louder until it was finally at full blast again.

Celestia stomped over angrily to Vinyl. This time ignoring the fact that the music probably killed her eardrums.

"VINYL!"

"GET READY FOR THE BASS DROP EVERYPONY!"

"VINYL!"

"READY?"

"VINYL!!!!"

"BASS!"

There was no use. The DJ pony was too immersed in her work. The loud booms of the "bass" wasn't helping either. But Celestia didn't give up. Instead...

BANG

One swift blow to the jaw and the DJ ponies glasses flew right off. Along with a tooth or two. The music continued as the poor mare slowly regained composure. But instead of taking notice of Celestia, she licked her bleeding muzzle and went back to DJing.

"URRRRRGGGGAAAAAAAH! LISTEN TO ME!"

"WHAT DO YA WANT CELENOMISSHORSEMARESOMEONEYEAH"

"WHO IN TARTARUS IS... I MEAN YEAH! COULD YOU HELP ME OUT PLEASE?"

"WHAT? AND MAKE IT QUICK, I'VE GOT SOME MUSIC TO MAKE."

"YEAH, THAT'S GREAT AND ALL, BUT I HIGHLY DOUBT IT'S MORE IMPORTANT THAN THIS".

"THEN HURRY!"

"I NEED YOU TO HELP ME FIND QUEEN CHRYSALIS"

"IN WHAT ERA ARE YOU LIVING IN, YOU STUPID ALICORN! NOPONY, AND I MEAN NOPONY, CAN GET ACCESS TO QUEEN CHRYSALIS IN ANY WAY, UNLESS SHE REQUESTS IT. ALSO, I KNOW IT'S YOU, CELESTIA".

"THEN HEED MY ORDERS AND TURN THE MUSIC DOWN!"

"Ugh. FINE....."

"You knew I wasn't Celenomis... whatever?"

"DUH! That's why I called you stupid alicorn instead of stupid pegasus, ya dingdong".

Celestia felt slightly offended. But that was beside the point. She was determined to find Queen Chrysalis, and quick.

"Oh, and also, I lied about nopony having access to Queen Chrysalis. I can talk to her fairly easily. She's one of my friends on Marebook".

Celestia frowned. This pony was going to lead her to Chrysalis? Out of all the ponies at the party, this one? But beggars can't be choosers, and right now, she's the beggar, despite the trillions of bits she actually owns.

"Come on. Chrysalis usually hangs out with a select few during parties in her own special party room made for five. I requested her to let Tavi party with her, but that's basically the only pony I know that's there. Let's go".

This was it! Finally, Celestia was going to learn the secrets of the best party ever. From her mortal enemy...

.....with a strange earth pony.

Author's Note

So yep! This is Chapter one of the story. I hope it's enjoyable and whacky so far. I don't think it's one of the weirdest stories out there, but I'll agree, it is weird. I honestly have nothing else to say.

Enjoy?

... peace.

-frostbitethepegasus