Not-A-Ling

by Alex Prior

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Slice of Life, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 1793

Twilight is not a Changeling. After all, that's what she insists.

For most of her time in Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle has insisted that she is not, in fact, a Changeling.

Today, she has something important to tell her friends.

Written for the F*** This Prompt #8 contest.
Partial inspiration from The_One_Butcher.

Published 2015-12-08 20:00:03 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-01 19:18:21 UTC

I Swear, I'm Not!

“Twilight, stop pacing. You’re in a rut. Again.”

Spike’s voice shook the lavender unicorn out of her stupor. She looked down. Sure enough, she had worn a deep groove into the wooden floor. She flushed, climbing out of it.

“I’m sorry, Spike. I guess I’m just nervous, that’s all.” Twilight massaged her temples. “I mean, it IS such a big secret to tell and all, and I, well, I can’t help but be nervous! What if they don’t like it? What if they abandon me entirely?”

She inhaled sharply. “Oh no. If they abandon me, then it means I’m a bad friend, and if I’m a bad friend then that means my friendship studies are all wrong, and that means Princess Celestia will expel me as her student, and that means I-mmmph!”

She suddenly found her muzzle pressed shut, with a dragon glaring at her. “Twilight! Calm down. They are your friends. They’re not going to judge you. I promise.”

“Mmphmie mhrmimm?”

Spike rolled his eyes. “Cross my heart.” He released her muzzle.

Twilight found herself relaxing. “I guess you’re right, Spike. I’m just panicking over nothing.” As if on cue, a knock sounded on the door. “Oh no! They’re here!”

Spike facepalmed. “I’ll go get it.” He waddled over to the door and opened it. “Hello, come on in, don’t mind our resident nervous breakdown, I’ll fix her in a minute.”

A shout was heard. “There is nothing to fix!”

Spike rolled his eyes. “As I said. Come on in. I’ll go get the tea.” He waddled over to the kitchen, letting the various ponies file through the front door.

“Twilight?”

“Er, yes, Rarity?”

“If you don’t mind me asking, Darling, why did you call all of us here?” The alabaster unicorn adjusted her teacup slightly. “Not that I mind, Darling, but you made it sound so... urgent.”

Twilight gulped. Her eyes flitted from Fluttershy, looking on curiously, to Applejack, who had raised an eyebrow. She offered a nervous smile. “Ah, well, yes. Th-there is something I have decided to tell you.” She looked at her friends. “Er, well, do you remember when we all first met?”

Rarity waved her hoof. “Why of course, Darling! You might have been the most unskilled inflitrator I’ve seen - even Rainbow Dash makes for a better spy - but I confess you were the most adorable mess I’ve ever laid my eyes upon.”

Fluttershy nodded enthusiastically. “Oh, I agree. Your insistence that you were a pony was just about the cutest thing I’ve seen!” She pressed her forehooves together with hearts in her eyes. “Sooo cuuu~te!”

Pinkie giggled. “Why, I bet our little Twilight is just about the cutest little drone ever under that adorable lavender coat!”

That’s when Applejack decided to chime in. “Aw, shucks, Sugarcube. Ya’ll can show us. We won’t be judging you, honestly.” She poked the shivering unicorn. “Ah promise.”

Twilight locked eyes with the one pony who hadn’t spoken up. “A-and you, Rainbow? What about you?”

The prismatic pegasus rubbed the back of her neck. “Okay, I’ll tell ya, but this will not leave this room, okay?” She let out an involuntary giggle. “I have an image to upkeep with my fans, you know?” The mare took a deep breath. “From the moment I saw ya, I knew you needed protecting. No matter from who.” She looked indecisive for a moment, before hugging the lavender unicorn quickly, and drawing back just as fast. “Nopony saw me do this.”

The ponies let out a chuckle at this. “Don’t worry, Darling,” said Rarity. “Your secret soft spot is safe with us.”

A sniffle bought them to a halt. They turned to see Twilight hurriedly wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she sniffed. “You are such good friends... but...” She bit her lip.

“The truth is... I’m not actually a Changeling.”

Rarity was the first to react, walking up to the lavender mare and placing a hoof on her shoulder. “Darling, you don’t have to be ashamed. We all support you. You don’t have to keep it in.”

Twilight shrugged the hoof off, looking at her friends with shining, teary eyes. “But don’t you see? I really am not! I’m a pony! I have always been a pony!” She looked down. “I shouldn’t need constant reassurance of that, but it’s the truth. I’ve always told the truth when I’ve denied being one. I’m sorry it came out differently.” The mare sat down on the floor. “I’m sorry.”

The mares exchanged glances, as if having a silent conference between each other. Fluttershy was the one to step forward. “Um, Twilight?”

The mare sniffled. “Fluttershy?”

The pegasus scuffed her hoof on the floor. “Um. If you don’t mind me asking, why do you feel the need to assure yourself? I-if you’re a pony, that is.” She chewed on a strand of her mane. “Unless it’s, um, private.” The butter yellow mare scooted closer. “But we’re still here for you, Twilight. We’re friends.”

Twilight smiled. “Thank you, Fluttershy. This means a lot to me.” She bit her lip. “But you don’t want to hear it. It’s stupid.”

Rarity was the first to huff. “Oh, don’t be ridiculus, Darling. No matter how stupid it may be, it’s better to tell it than to keep it in.”

“In her defense, it really is stupid,” commented Spike from atop the bookshelf, making all six mares jump. He idly turned the page of his comic book.

“What in tarnation?”

It seemed Applejack was particularly affected by Spike’s sudden decision to speak up. The dragon in question rolled his eyes. “I’m making sure you lot won’t be hurting Twilight.” As the ponies started to look particularly outraged, he added, “So far my fears have been unfounded.”

Pinkie chose that particular moment to speak up. “So tell us, Twilight! What was that silly event that spurred all this misunderstanding?”

The lavender unicorn hid a smile. “Well, I suppose it was kind of silly.” She thought for a moment. “There was this filly I knew back in Celestia’s School. Moondancer. If it weren’t for a differing coloration, we could look like twins. I wonder what she’s doing now...”

Twilight fell into a thought, but quickly shook herself out of it. “Anyway. There was this Any-Color coat-dye Shining bought for something or other and, well, I got a little curious.” Her friends, having had first-hoof experience with Twilight’s curiousity, chuckled knowingly.

Twilight bit her lip. “So in little time, I looked the exact copy of Moondancer. And then discovered I couldn’t change back.” She looked downcast. “And then went to Moondancer to see if she knew anything about changing back, and...” Twilight paused. Her friends exchanged glances.

She sighed. “...and then her sister called me a changeling and got the Royal Guard involved. It kind of stuck with me.”

Silence. Even more glances were exchanged.

From atop the shelf, Spike yawned. “See, I told you it was stupid.”

Rainbow Dash frowned. “Uh, I dunno. I kinda see where she’s coming from.”

Fluttershy nodded. “Oh, that must have been terrifying!”

“I must say I agree with Fluttershy, Darling,” exclaimed Rarity. “No wonder it left a mark this big on you, it must have been quite the harrowing experience!”

Applejack and Pinkie simply exchanged a meaningful glance and hugged their friend. Twilight smiled. “Thanks, girls. You are true friends.”

“You know, girls, I’ve been wondering,” stated Twilight over a cup of nice, soothing tea. “What made you guys think I was a Changeling anyway? I mean,” she added over the perplexed stares, “I was an antisocial book nerd before coming here. I spent weeks in a library. Where could I have possibly gotten enough love energy to survive?”

The mare shrugged. “You know, it’s funny. I’m the least likely of all of us to be a Changeling. Any one of you are vastly more suited to that role!”

Her friends started exchanging glances. Twilight didn’t notice.
“I mean, Applejack is loved by her family, Rainbow is loved by her fans, Rarity is loved by her customers, Fluttershy is loved by her animals, and Pinkie is loved by the whole of Ponyville!” She giggled. “How do I know you all aren’t Changelings instead?”

Her giggle died upon seeing the slightly guilty looks on the faces of her friends. Her expression quickly turned incredulous.

“You’re kidding.”

Author's Note

........
........
I am so sorry.

Bonus Chapter!

"Hello, my name is Twilight Sparkle and I am a pony."

Applejack looked the "pony" over. Cautious, guarded, and confident at the same time. Sure, Ah'll play along. She must be new.

"Well, howdy there, pony! Ah'm Applejack. What can I do ya for?"

The new pony started. "Oh! Er. Twenty bits?" Applejack froze. She could not possibly be saying what I think she's saying... There was a pause as both "ponies" reviewed what the "unicorn" had said. A small dragon, previously unnoticed, covered his face with a claw.

"Celestia damn it...."

At least his social shut-in of a boss couldn't come up with a worse first impression...

Looking at the mess before him, Spike could not help but curse his past self for invoking narrative temptations. Or whatever they were called. Then again, he supposed things coul-(STOP THAT) than a rainbow pegasus hugging his boss like a teddy bear. Odd; He could have sworn she was not the type...

"Soooo AWESOME!"

Never mind. Better pry a groupie (Boss had groupies?) off Twilight.

Spike was so caught up at the elegant white mare that he completely missed Twilight faintly insisting on being a pony. What was a pod-based mane treatment, and what did that have to do with anything anyway?

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee........."

Another groupie to pry off the boss. What in Celestia's name *was* with pegasi and Twilight?

"...sometimes the debutante related to a lunatic takes a coffee break, but an accidentally saintly menagé à trois always slyly buries a waif! Can you believe it? A bubble, a hardly saintly cream puff, and the sheepish (hehe, sheepish) colt are what got little old me into trouble! And then a trombone near some toothache buries a strawberry-blonde bodice ripper! I know, I didn't believe this myself! Now and then, the sublime cleavage ignores a bicep inside some amour-propre..."

Twilight and Spike exchanged bewildered glances. "All I did was reassure her that I was a pony..."

Spike faceclawed. "Okay. That's it. I'm done. Somebody else make sense of this stuff."

...that was an oddly cryptic thing for him to say, wasn't it? What do the readers think?

Author's Note

Happy April The First, everyone!
Also happy April the Second.
Yes, this is a real chapter.
There was no prank.
:trollestia: