Fun Times In Skyrim
By Littlelf1116 and her funny friend
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It was a lovely day in a land called Skyrim, and two friends were having tea in a lush green field. They were seated at a table in the middle of said field, and tea was set out before them with crumpets on the side. They were having a nice conversation about what skills they had, and Treybor was telling Liz his hidden skill.
"People say i'm a good masseuse, but i haven't the slightest idea why." Treybor told Liz. Treybor is a muscular Vampire of 27, not a beefy though, and was a little taller than average.. He had a very visible scar on his left eye, a short beard, and a tattoo over his left eye. He has short hair, but not shaved as some might think. He carried some weapons, but none were needed. He was also a good mage when the time called. He wears a white shirt with a brown most of the time, with brown doe clothed pants and simple ware shoes.
"Maybe your just good with your hands." Liz said, trying to hide her giggling. Liz was a nicely toned woman of 23, and shorter than most women but not overly so. She has choppy black hair that curled into the sides and it came to just about her shoulders. Liz has green eyes and a small scar that sits on the bottom of her jaw line right next to her ear. She wields a sword most of the time, but uses fire spells as well. Her usual attire is a white ruffled shirt covered with a red long overcoat, black tight fitting pants with small, black heals.
"...Not one f**cking word...." Treybor told her, narrowing his eyes. Liz faked being taken aback, showing fake surprise to keep up her act.
"Me? Say something? ABSURD!" She said indignantly. She had her entire hand pointing towards her as if to say 'Your accusing me?!?'.
"INDEED!!!" Treybor growled, taking an angry sip of his tea. Treybor's last action made Liz fall out of her chair with laughter."WHAT IS THOU LAUGHING AT?!?!"
Liz coughed for a moment, trying to get her laughter under control, and sat back into her chair. She then suddenly pointed to a bush rather dramatically. "That bush was making a rather funny impression of you."
"SON OF A TACO EATING MEXICAN!!!" Treybor bellowed, then promptly burned the bush Liz had pointed at. Liz was breathless and coughing for air by now. She was gasping for breath when Treybor continued with his fit. "WOULD YOU LIKE TEA!?!"
Treybor then threw the pot of tea onto Liz. This only made Liz laugh harder at the utter absurdity of it all. Liz told Treybor she would be back in a moment. Treybor told her to "BRING BACK BURRITOS!!!" by then Liz had given up on trying to breath. When Liz came back she had brought back six different, animated ponies of many colors. One orange, one white, one pink, one purple, one blue, and the last one was yellow. The yellow pony and the blue were Pegasi, the purple and white ponies were Unicorns, and the pink and orange ponies were just that. Regular ponies.The yellow Pegasus had brought a white bunny with her, while the purple Unicorn had brought a book and the pink pony had brought a cake.
"Fluttershy and Angel are in an abusive relationship." Treybor commented, looking at the yellow Pegasus and the bunny. The bunny appeared to be telling the nervous pegasus off for doing something wrong. Liz gave him a knowing look and told him about Fluttershy's Stare. After said tale Treybor tried his hardest to not make the timid Pegasus mad.
"DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY HAT!!" Treybor yelled at Liz. Liz Pinkie Pie Promised she wouldn't. "Good, now hold my hat while i burn that bushes mob family."
Treybor tossed his hat at Liz and ran to start fires. "Um..okay." Liz said to the air, and held the hat gingerly in her hands.
"WHAT DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TOUCHING MY HAT?!?!" Treybor grabbed his hat back and patted it on his head. "It's okay, I've got you now. One does not simply break Pinkie Pie Promise.
"But you told me to hold it!"Liz insisted.
"It's okay! I'M HAVING FUN WITH MY HAT!!" Treybor screamed at the sky. Liz just looked at him.
"......No comment."
"DEATH TO BUSHES!!!! KAMAKAZZI!!!!" Treybor yelled at the sky again, and ran to start more fires to more plants. Liz watched him as he did so.
"He is a very unique person." Liz said to the butler that had shown up.
"You don't say!" Wilson said. Wilson may have been a butler, but he did most of his own work as free will. Wilson didn't keep one shape, for he was a soul brought back and changed his appearance often.
"Tea?" Liz asked politely.
"Indubitably." Wilson answered. Liz gave him a confused look.
"...What?" Liz questioned. She had never heard that word, and wanted to know what it meant.
"YOU WILL HAVE SKOOMA" Treybor yelled from the distance, and began to dance. "FEEL THE BURN!!"
"Do you deal with this man all the time?" Liz asked Wilson, but she never got an answer. Wilson was too concerned with the sun to pay attention.
"How did you raise the sun without magic?" Wilson inquired. Treybor ran over and stood in front of him.
"I ASKED NICELY!" Treybor yelled in his face. Liz looked back and forth between the two.
"..Well Treybor has a point." Liz finally said, breaking the silence. Then they continued to talk about different scenarios with Fluttershy being polite. One of which included her asking nicely for the apocalypse to stop. While they were talking another pony appeared to join the group and announced himself as Niblet. He was a tan Earth pony with a black and red mane. He also appeared to be slightly insane.
All of a sudden a scenario took place that ended up with Liz telling Niblet she was sorry, and him turning around, sitting on his haunches, and crossing his forelegs over his chest.
"I only accept muffins as apology." Niblet said sternly. Liz grabbed a muffin from a nearby basket and handed it to him. "You amuse me...you shall still dance." With that said Niblet enjoyed his muffin and tried to keep it from a certain mail mare who had flown in. Liz sat back in her chair and borrowed the book Twilight Sparkle had brought. Treybor mounted Niblet and demanded he move forward.
"RIDE NIBLET! INTO THE NIGHT!" Treybor yelled as manly as one can while sitting a top a pony.
"Hmm....you might tempt me with muffins." Niblet said defiantly, wanting to get something out of this deal.
"IT SHALL BE!!" Treybor bellowed once more. Liz looked at the duo and frowned in confusion then shook it off.
"...Ooookaaaaaayyy...." She commented more to herself than everyone else. Derpy popped out of a tree and looked around excitedly.
"Somepony say muffins?" Treybor looked at Niblet and Niblet looked back at Treybor, terror in his eyes. Liz merely pointed to Jack.
"RUN NIBLET!!!" Treybor yelled out of terror. Niblet took off in a general direction.
"ON IT!" He yelled back to the man riding him. Little did Treybor know they were headed toward a muffin shop. Liz had dedided to share a cake with Pinkie Pie, whilst listening to the ponies tale about how crazy oatmeal can be. Soon, Liz had started a heated conversation with Rainbow Dash about the Wonderbolts. Niblet and Treybor had returned at that time and Treybor had made it rain muffins. Then he stopped and thought 'I can make this about 20% cooler.' Treybor decided, and brought his family of Jesters along with him.
"Rainbow dash can make this place about 20% cooler in ten seconds flat!" Liz yelled, and Rainbow Dash did a Sonic Rainboom.The colors were magnificent. At which time their dear friend Sol entered the field, and looked around.
"I'm not even gonna...." Sol said before turning around to leaving. Then another one of their dear friends entered the field. His name is complicated, so they called him C. C looked around and flew upside down to a tree and proceeded to play with yarn, for he was part cat. He was also a Pyro, so after he was done with said tree he turned it to flame.
All of a sudden a dragon flew down to the field and began playing an amazing guitar solo. Everyone was at a loss for words and hopped onto his back to go to his lair so they could hear more of his amazing guitar playing.
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AN: Let me just be the one out of us two to apologize for anyone getting offended by our words in this fic. We didn't mean to offend anyone i assure you, we were both half exhausted and extremely bored. So yeah, this is what came out of it. Once again, if your a hater please pack your bags now. I only give love a cookies to comments and constructive criticism.
Treybor: P.S. I like cats! Thank You!
Rap Time? Rap Time.
AN: So this was inspired by Epic Rap Battles Of MLP, by enigmaMystere. Check it out, it's so funny.(http://www.fimfiction.net/story/26717/Epic-Rap-Battles-of-MLP) I introduced it to my friend and he just started it, and i decided to follow. I'm not the brightest bulb in the box. Hope you enjoy!
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Discord walked into Ponyville with his swag turned on high and his cool sunglasses on his nose. Earlier that day he declared a rap battle to Princess Luna. He also made sure DJ P0n3 was okay with it too. Of course, if she hadn't agreed he had other ways of getting her to do so. Soon, he walked into the square, where a stage had been set up. He smiled a devious smile and continued to walk until he was on the stage.
"Hello Ponyville citizens! I know your probably quaking with fear from me not being all stony, but i have something i wish to settle with Princess Luna." He paused to look at his watch, which had appeared out of nowhere. "Who is five minutes late." There was a great gasp as all of Ponyville finally realized why the stage had been set up, and some ponies even started to panic. Then there was great WHOOSH sound and Princess Luna was suddenly on the stage. She looked at Discord with annoyance.
"What doth thee wish to challenge me to?" Luna asked impatiently. Discord smiled evilly.
"Actually it's not really a challenge so much as it is a barter. I win, you give me equestria. You win, i go back to being stone." And with that, Discord pointed his claw to the DJ and grabbed a mic.Luna didn't really see the point of this at all, and tried to stop it before it began. Alas, it was to late.
Discord
VS
Princess Luna
Oh please ive already won. Don't you understand that your done? Chaos will rule equiestria, and besides I've already got the best of ya!
You think you can beat me? Please. I doubt there are many ponies you can swoon. Besides soon ehough imma send yo ass to the MOOOONNN!!!
The Moon? oh please you've been there long enough. Like its so unfair your big sister sent you to the moon, well tough. And you think i can't convince anypony? please my dear you've been gone far too long. I've turned the mane six and you too i will soon turn and then your big sis will be quite lonley.
If you think you can rap, then your livin' a lie. That last line didn't even rhyme! As if i'd let your petty exscuses by. You may think i'm pathetic, but you fell too! Nightmare moon wasn't my best appearance, that much is true. Sure i was sent to the sky but at least my hide didn't go from live to stone in 5! All your parts don't even make sense, and you lack any and all pretense.
HO-HO! You do make me laugh! But still my parts may be a bit of a puzzle but at least i will take a bath. And I Didnt fall i was stoned, but oh my dear some ponys have attoned for my crimes. My dear daughter screwball was abandened. So whos the real monster here?
You really must get control of your rhyme. Your kind of making it look like your a swine. At least i'm not beast who eats meat and is a monster! And besides i have a sister who will make your demise. Soon enough you'll just be another constelation in my sky!
Isn't it impossible for stars to move? Because when im trapped i like to dance with a groove. I havent been on my game, but at least i dont change my age for an excuse for being so lame. But still again i can make chocolate rain. when im done thelly have to throw you down the drain...
Everypony knows you gotta screw loose, but listening to grooves that are in your head just make the truth more true. Besides i didn't age, if anything i became a better battle mage. Yes it's true the elements of harmony got the best of me, but they got you too so let that subject be. Sure you make chocolate rain and cotton candy clouds, but im the one on who is named after Nightmare Night and whos got the face to please the crowds!
Can't you See? Im the captain Q ,and i make all the fangirls sqweee. And if your a mage, then somebodys gonna rage. And If you think ill be trapped for long...then my dear...You. Are. Very. Wrong. MWUHAHAHAHAHA!
I'm sorry what did you say? I fell asleep due to your sloppy try at rhyme. Pretty soon everypony will have to hit the hay. Why? Cause i'm the godess of the night. And soon enough you'll be on your knees with fright.
Oh Sure, boring ol' Lunas gonna make me snore! I make night and day last what? 2 minutes. so you have no power over me! You are nothing but Celestias whore! So what have you to say? Tell me while dance on your grave.
You do realize you are a bore? Your nitty little comments aren't gonna make me run to the store. If anybody's a whore it's gotta be you. I heard you slept with Winnie the Pooh. And besides i bet your just jealous that i can get Celly's rump anyday. And poor you, whos had a crush on her since may, i belive i got the best of you, Otay?
Your beginning to try my patience. You been around the store and a bit more working for pents. I swear you would like some of Pooh. But then again you've already got tons of poo. And no Celestia hit on me, so i threw her into the sea. Whats in her hair is seaweed, nothing but a buch of weeds that my poor eyes bleed. And why is your hair mist? i mean seariously it wont be missed.
My hair isn't mist you retarded fly. The reason it sparkles and shines is cause it's the lovely night sky. Celly told me it was you who hit on her cause she was "beautiful and radiant" but she was right when she told me you were the ugliest recipeint. I highly doubt you can get any of your hair to wave just as majesticly as we do. And i'm sorry but you got a call from a Mr. Pooh.
You, young colt are a as beautiful as voldemort. And if you think im ugly, you should speak to your mom, oh wait shes dead because she had to go. I know my rhyemes dont make sense but im Discord so just go with the flow. And your royal voice sounds a lot like your sisters screams after twilight.
Firstly, for your small mind, i am a mare. Besides my face is much more fair. My mom isn't dead and her names Faust. You wish you could get near but you'd probably just get lost. And at least my mom didn't throw me out to the diamond dogs. Also, get ready to be thrown out into the fog!
Well, well and so it must end. I can't say it wasn't fun, but next we meet you best hope we're friends. Nightmare moon was much better looking, oh well im off to do some cooking. It was fun, so lets meet up and do this again, but then again I may be a bum.
Agreed we must be done. And yes she was i will admit, but it's sad that you would want do jailbait. I have to remind you that things like that are highly frowned upon, and you i must hate. Anyway's i've got Abby waiting back at the castle for me. What a fun night of calculations it's going to be!
Who will win? You decide!
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AN: Okay guys, i'm going to do this just like Epic Rap Battles Of MLP. How ever many votes for Princess Luna, or Discord will decide. Also, please forgive me and my friend. We suck at trying to rap. Also, if you truly wanted to know I was Princess Luna and my friend was Discord. Please no rude comments please.
