Paradox in Equestria

Rainbow Dash was out on another one of her daily takeoffs. I still had yet to find out where she had gone, Pinkie Pie was once again in her corner slicing away at her flesh and licking it to help stop the bleeding. She seemed to be singing to herself as she did, I sat closer to her watching her flat mane, faded and grey with age. I listened as she sang the song she wrote for when she makes cupcakes, though it wasn't nearly the pitch she used when she created it. Her voice cracked at the high notes and she sounded tired, as if she needed something to drink.

All you have to do is take a cup of flour,

add it to the mix.

Now just take a little something sweet not sour,

a bit of salt, just a pinch.

Baking these treats is such a sinch,

a teaspoon of vanilla,

Add a little more and ya count to four,

and you never get your fill of.

Cupcakes! So sweet and tasty.

Cupcakes! Don't be too hasty.

"Pinkie," I inturupted the ending of her song, she was bleeding but she didn't seem to mind. Her scars were all over, some overlapping, some parallel. I wondered what went on in this fillies head, well I always did, but now more than ever. Back then it seemed so simple, she was always the random one, now all I thought was worry for her.

"I know why your here." Pinkie told me solemnly.

"Oh," I said " well that's great then you can help us-"

"YOU CAN'T HAVE THEM!" She shouted getting to her feet.

"What?"

"Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake, I saved them you can't take them away." She said defiantly, she motioned at two knives on the floor.

"Pinkie what are you..." I stopped it was just like Apple Jack, she'd been like this, delusional. "Well what about your cuts?" I asked her.

"Ya, they play a little rough, you know how it is they're getting older now so..." She laughed as she trailed off, she didn't seem to have the same enthusiasm as her younger self. Though she still smiled, it was a little creepy.

"Pinkie." I began again, "What happened?"

"When the Cakes were all eated up by those meanie pants NineVoltz, they told me to save the babies. So that's what Pinkie did." She finnished her speech.

"Wanna hear how I did it?" She asked sounding like she was boasting like Rainbow, well younger Rainbow the one from here didn't seem to talk much. I sat down preparing for another grousome story about a NineVoltz attack.

"Everypony said that I went crazy first but they're the ones who are crazy!" One of her eyes twitched, but I kept a straight expression.

Parydan had just taken over, it had been three months since Fluttershy was frozen. We were still in Ponyville, even without Fluttershy we had to go on the counteroffensive. I didn't like fighting, I'd rather just tell a few jokes make friends and be happy ever after. But it seemed that Parydan was in no mood to joke, it was like he sucked out their happiness too.

Nopony smiled during the meeting, I felt sad no being able to make them smile with me. Instead they were all sad, my poofy mane deflated, it only happened when I was really, really, really sad. I left before the meeting was over, I didn't want to be there. I felt like an outcast, I felt a really bad vibe in there. I went to the only place that always made sense, the only place where happiness always was in motion.

As I entered the home of Mr. and Mrs. Cake they greeted me quietly. Even they lost a little happiness, but they were still a little happy. Pound and Pumpkin smiled every time they saw me. I smiled back seeing their happy little faces. My mane poofed back up a little. I started to take them to their room to play, Mr. Cake stopped me.

"Um, Pinkie." He said, I looked at him, "You know things have been tough around here in Ponyville, seeing as a lot of funding has to go to the war effort..." He looked sad, I saw tears welling in his eyes as he prepared his next words, "We really can't afford to pay for a babysitter anymore."

I simply smiled, I nuzzled his chin to comfort him, "It's ok Mr. Cake, you don't have to worry about paying me until Ponyville get's back on track" I told him in my normal chipper tone, "for now Pinkie's on volunteer time."

He smiled about to cry, so was Mrs. Cake.

"Pinkie," she said, "how can we ever repay you for your kindness."

"I just told you silly," I laughed, "you don't have to anymore, all I want to see is my friends smile again."

She squeezed me, I hugged her back. It felt good to feel that love.

As I took the foals up to their room I heard a crash outside, I shrugged it off. A lot of things were being torn down here nowadays." I preped the little darlings for bed and tucked them in.

I kissed them each on their head.

"Nite nite antie Binkie" Pumpkin said. They had become more capable of words now.

"Good night little ones." I said as I turned off the lights and exited the room.

That's when I heard the sickening CRUNCH of the door being bashed in. I galloped down the stairs as fast as I could, I was too late. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were in a corner surrounded by NineVoltz.

One looked at me and hissed.

"Pinkie!" Mr. Cake said holding his wife, his gaze was stone cold in fear. "Save the kids!" he called.

I turned and ran up the stairs I saw out of the corner of my eyes a NineVolt jump at the Cakes. Tears burned my eyes as I galloped back up the stairs. I went into the room and again I was mortified. NineVoltz all over the crib, their bloddy muzzles shoved in the twins' crib, gorging themselves.

Tears came to my eyes.

Pinkie was crying as she finished.

"And that's how I saved the babies!" She said with a smile the tears still pouring down her face.

"But..." I began, tears also in my eyes.

"I know," she said, "I didn't really save them" she chocked out, "I thought if I covered it up I wouldn't think about it."

I could see it now as she sobbed, she had burried herself in self mutilation as her own punishment for not saving the little foals she cared so deeply for.

"You tried your best Pinkie," I told her putting a hoof over her shoulders.

"NO!" She shouted, she picked up the knife and pinned me to the wall, she put the knife up to me throat.

"I didn't try hard enough" She said through clenched teeth.

"Maybe not," I said, she pressed the knife harder, "but you tried your best." her grip loosened.

"There was nothing you could do." I told her. A tear from her eye made her let me go.

"I know that the Cakes don't blame you."

She broke into an all out bawling, I sat down, put my hoof on her head and let out my tears also. We cried together for what seemed like hours. Her tears were all dried up but she continued to wail out. She often said things like 'I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE, SHY!' or 'I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE ANYMORE!' but it just ment she was coping. Eventually it seemed she cried herself to sleep. I laid down and curled up next to her and fell asleep too.

I was awoken by somepony tapping my shoulder. I opened my eyes and saw Pinkie, scars and all looking at me and (believe it or not) smiling. It was a sincere smile, not a fake, sadistic attempt to hide her feelings. I smiled back and her mane poofed up immediately.

Pinkie was back, I laughed and so did she.